A short monologue by Nick Stumbo advising spouses affected by a partner's addiction or betrayal trauma to shift focus from “when will this end?” to measurable progress. The speaker encourages monitoring symptom duration, trying different interventions (therapy, specialists in betrayal trauma, medication), and for the struggling spouse to concentrate on concrete improvements rather than an endpoint.
You know, especially for the struggling or addicted spouse, it's like, well, can we just get over this already? And I think that this question, too, is one that a lot of struggling spouses ask. They're curious about this. And I think that there has to be a small shift in the perspective that it's not when will my spouse finally heal, but more focus on what progress are we currently making. Like, be diligent to, you know, you talk about on the betrayed partner side, pay attention to, like, how long the symptoms have been going on, and if something you're doing is not working, try something else. Go see a therapist. Go see someone who, you know, has expertise in betrayal trauma, or go see if there's medication to help you get the manifestations down to a point where you can find a way to normalize. But I think on the struggling spouse, there has to be that shift that I'm not focused on when we will be done with this, but in what ways are we working toward improvement.
