A short podcast excerpt (Coach Carol) advising spouses of people who have struggled with addiction to practice patience when managing recurring emotional triggers. Coach Carol warns that questioning a spouse about why a trigger still bothers them can perpetuate the trigger and recommends calming internal responses and using patience as a practical tool.
If you are the spouse who has struggled with addiction, sexual behaviors, bringing that pain into the marriage, I think the tool you really need here is patience. Because triggers, as you've brought up, Coach Carol, they can come at any time. It could be the same trigger over and over. And I think in our mindset, we can feel like, well, I thought we dealt with this. That was like, that was last month. Aren't you over it? Or again, that can be the internal response of, again, the same trigger. How long? And. And I think as much as possible, that's to. Just. To quiet those voices in your own mind, to not say, well, how many times will this happen and how long? Because in some ways, if we respond to that, we can, I think, play a part in perpetuating the trigger. Yeah. Because if it happens and our response is, again, why does that still bother you? I think it almost solidifies the trigger in our spouse. So if you hear your own brain saying, again, why is she still stuck on this one? Just take a deep breath and calm your own thoughts and do the avr.
