This short YouTube clip (from a podcast with Nick Stumbo) addresses how churches can better promote sexual-integrity/Pure Desire groups. The speakers recommend shifting language away from isolating 'you who struggle' phrasing to inclusive 'we/us' messaging and folding sexual maturity into regular discipleship so these groups feel like part of normal spiritual growth rather than a stigmatized outgroup.
Hey guys. Today's clip is actually from a recent podcast that we did on promoting pure desire groups in your church. This is something that a lot of people struggle with. When I was a pastor, I struggled with it. How do you promote sexual integrity and sexual addiction groups for people in a way that's inviting and really gives them the courage to step forward into their healing? So this clip is just a little bit from Nick on what we should be doing when we're casting that vision, when we're communicating about these groups. Check it out.
I think a mistake that churches make and we're well intentioned, we don't mean to do this, but the language is all about you. You who struggle, you who have this problem, you who are battling something. And that language can be very isolating and shameful even, because keep in mind that the person you're referring to when you say you is an individual that's probably been battling these secret things for a while, is feeling some shame about it. And they don't want to be exposed and they don't want to feel like they're going to be put off in a corner for this special group for people who are really messed up. Right. And we might not ever, ever say it that way, but that's the way it gets interpreted. Oh, I don't want to be known as being a part of those people. So changing the conversation, changing the pronouns we use to we and to us to say we are sexual beings. All of us have encountered fallenness in our sexuality. Everyone here has encountered some kind of sexual brokenness, whether stuff done to them or things they've done. So we together want to work towards sexual integrity and wholeness. And here's how we are going to do that. We're going to start these groups. So now it's it's not you people who struggle, it's it's us. It's we together. And I think another thing that along with that then can be powerful is just to make sure to connect pure desire groups and these groups for integrity to the discipleship process. Because I think that's another thing churches can do. It's like, well, here's what a disciple is. They learn to pray and worship and read their Bible and attend church. Oh, a sexual issue. Well, that's over here. That's like a different thing. We're really, we are, as I just said, we're all sexual beings. And that's a part of what it means to be a human. To be male and female is a sexual identity. And so we need maturity there just as much as we need maturity in our relationships, maturity in our thinking, maturity in our following of Christ. So if we can fold that in to just say, here's how we mature sexually, here's how we mature emotionally, and it's all part of becoming more like Christ. Right. Well, now this does, again, feel like. Well, this is something for everyone, because we all want to mature. We all want to become more like Christ. And being transformed in my sexuality is a part of that now. It doesn't feel like this weird plan B that I just got shipped off to. Right. That this is part of my growth and my maturity.
Yeah. LA.
