A recorded interview (May 30, 2023) between Joshua Broome and Nick Stumbo about recovering from sexual brokenness and ‘renewing the mind’ through Christian faith. Stumbo describes clinging to Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16; Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5), discovering agape love in marriage as corrective to lust, and employing self-awareness, practical boundaries (avoid triggering places/devices), and the biblical imperative to 'flee' temptation. The conversation stresses a combined approach: truth of God’s Word, inner healing of wounds, and concrete behavioral changes for lasting recovery.
Let's shift gears a little bit because I think for any man or woman that's really battled with sexual brokenness when they're in their marriage relationship, they're often battling images, thoughts. I mean, they've essentially confused their brain by having all these partners, whether real or fantasy, that are now competing for what is intended to be oneness with their spouse. And so for you, you're married now, and what have you done to help renew your mind, to find fulfillment in one spouse and, and to come out of an industry that, you know, teaches us I can have anyone, anytime, anywhere. So what does that process look like for you in. In marriage?
Yeah, for me, it's like I clung on to scripture like it was, you know, the essence of life. And you know, as second Timothy 3:16 talks about where, you know, all, all scriptures God breathe is good for teaching, rebuking and reproof. Right. So reproofing. I had to dismantle and destroy lies that I believe to be true because that's the dangerous thing about l. If you believe a lie to be true, it's true to you.
Yeah.
And what I found to be true is I had not truly experienced love. My mother loved me, but I never received that love because I was so angry and so broken. And when I saw how much God loved me and truly understood what an agape love was, all of a sudden I realized what I had with my wife was the thing I was desiring most. So I had only experienced lust. And then I experienced love with this woman. And all of a sudden I'm satiated and satisfied in a way I've never been because I've never had this. Yeah, that was, that was a game changer for me. But also just being smart, it's like, you know, don't. Don't go to the gym and stand behind a group of girls wearing leggings on stairma. Like I, I would remove myself from.
Yes.
Situations where I was like, I.
Wisdom. Have wisdom.
Right. Yeah. You know, like, don't go into a co ed sauna, don't stand behind like girls wearing whatever. So what I tried my best to do is I think until you have a level of self awareness, it's impossible for you to be disciplined. Yes. Because if you don't see something, you're going to trip over you. You can't discipline yourself to step over it. Yes. So for me, I had to get really good at being aware of what triggered me and run like heck from those things and create healthy boundaries in my life. But again, If. If I saw or thought something, you know, it's. It's one thing. Like Romans 12:2 talks about how we're not to be conformed by the world. We're being transformed by the renewing of our mind. You know, there needs to be a metamorphosis. But also, if I. If I cling to scripture, you know, 2nd Corinthians 10:5 says that I can take that thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
Yeah.
So my desire to love and serve Christ supersedes what I want or desire. So I can say, hey, I might see that or be thinking that, but I know where that train takes me, and I want no part of that. So I run. You know, I want to be like Joseph. I don't want to be like David. I want to. I don't want to look twice and clear my browser history. I want to see trouble and run.
Yeah, I love what you're describing because I think it's two aspects of recovery that sometimes Christians in particular miss, that we have to be built on the eternal word of God. We have to have his truth in our hearts. We have to have our mind renewed, and we have to do really practical actions and behaviors to turn away, to run. I've brought up that the most common biblical instruction for men and women dealing with sexual brokenness is flee, Run, get out, leave. It can't be one or the other. Because if we're just trying to change our behaviors without the truth of God's word in our heart, it's not going to change for long. And if we only think, well, man, I'm built up in God's Word, and then we naively think, I can handle any situation I'm in, I see people stumble back into the same pattern all the time. And so this combination, when I said, you know, you're speaking our language, I sincerely mean it. It's like, there's the deeper work of identifying the wounds, there's building on the truth of God's word, and there's the really practical behavior stuff. And all of that together is what we've seen be effective. And it's just awesome to hear it coming out in your story. So, yeah, thanks for that.
Yeah, 100%. And I think that the reality is, like, even if we know the Bible incredibly well, the reality is our heart's still deceitful and we can't trust it, and we have wrongful desires. So if I believe what the world says, that I need to man up, you know, just, you know, use this bravado to resist temptation. We're going to fail time and time again. Like, you might win 50% of the time, but more often than not, you're going to lose, because our heart is actually drawn to the things of this world. It actually takes more, you know, it takes more bravado and strength and, like, true manhood to say, you know what? This is not a healthy place for me to be. I'm gonna leave. I'm not in a healthy place to have Instagram on my phone. I'm gonna delete it. Not forever, but for a season There. Maybe I don't need to go to a gym. Maybe I don't even need to have a smart device whatsoever. But I'm committed to removing this thing from my life, and I'm more desperate for freedom.
