Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

Shame is DESTRUCTIVE | Here's How To Stop It

9 Jun 2024

Watch on YouTube

Nick Stumbo (speaker) uses a cyclone analogy to explain how shame becomes destructive when it interacts with life stresses. He says warmth alone (shame existing) doesn't create a cyclone; the destructive outcome occurs when shame interacts with turbulent circumstances—problems at work, in marriage, parenting, or family. He recommends seeing and addressing shame so it doesn’t enter and amplify other relationships, thereby preventing the formation of a destructive "storm."

In the cyclone analogy, the existence of warm air doesn't create a cyclone. It's the warm air interacting with these other atmospheric high altitude. Right. Turbulent circumstances. And so I think in recovery, the existence of shame doesn't necessarily mean a perpetuation of the destructive behavior. But if we allow our shame to interact, like, in that way with just the reality of our existence. Right. With the challenges in our marriage, or at our job, or as a parent, or with our family, like, if we allow that shame to be something that then enters into those relationships. Yeah, sure. Like, we're going to face more storms that are being built. But if we're able to see the shame, address the shame, and not let it impact or interact with those other things, then we can stop that storm from being formed.