Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Is A Healthy YOU

1 May 2026 · 1 min

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1:08

In this monologue, Nick Stumbo, speaking from a pastoral and Pure Desire perspective, argues that the most valuable gift one can give to others is a healthy, growing self. He explains that individuals can pursue health and freedom even if their spouse does not, and that this personal evolution is the most powerful influence on a marriage. By becoming healthier, a person either inspires their partner to join the journey or clarifies that the relationship is not aligned. Stumbo emphasizes that this approach is not a betrayal but a service to the marriage, because a healthy self contributes positively to any current or future family context.

Chapters

I think that's one of our big messages at Pure Desire, that the greatest gift we give to others is a healthy, growing self. And that idea can be liberating in a marriage for someone to realize, I can become healthy even if you don't, that you're gonna make your choices. And that means even, you know, God forbid, if that marriage ends, the greatest future for you is a healthy self that you could bring to your family or friends or a future marriage. And I always say too, the greatest likelihood of that marriage making it is you bringing a healthy self. And that actually, without controlling the other person, will have the greatest influence on them is your own evolving self into greater health and freedom. Like, they're going to either get on board and go like, wow, I'm missing something and I want to be a part of this, or it will naturally create the clarity of we're not going to go in the same direction here. So I, I think that freedom of I can be healthy even if they don't is, is really a focal point that in some ways, if you're not familiar with thinking that way, can almost feel like a kind of betrayal to the marriage of like, I'm leaving you behind. No, no, you're doing the best thing you can for the good of the marriage is your health.