A short advice-style talk (by Nick Stumbo) about helping spouses affected by a partner's addiction. The speaker emphasizes creating a written safety/recovery action plan that specifies expected honesty and clear behavioral boundaries (for example, disclosure about viewing pornography or acting out), and urges focusing on observable actions and behaviors rather than thoughts. The tone is practical and recovery-focused.
But even a well intentioned spouse who wants to change might be in a fog of addiction, having lived in a pattern like this maybe for decades, and coming out of it will take time in some regards. But I think that's again where the safety action plan, the recovery action plan is so important, because in that you do want to expressly write out what honesty do you expect if you view pornography on your phone? You need to tell me if you act out with masturbation or cross this line. And what I would really encourage spouses in this area too is to focus on actions and behaviors, not thoughts.
