Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

The Struggle You're Feeling Isn't Abnormal

14 Jul 2026 · 1 min

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1:08

In this brief exchange, Speaker A expresses relief at hearing that their reactions are not merely emotional overreactions but also physical and spiritual, emphasizing the holistic nature of their experience. Speaker B, a coach or program facilitator, explains that their coaching evaluations consistently reveal that normalizing these intense, mixed emotional responses—such as oscillating between attachment, anger, shame, and questions of codependency—helps participants settle their nervous systems and regain a sense of agency. By framing these reactions as natural bodily responses, the coaching process alleviates feelings of personal defectiveness and supports clients in moving forward.

Chapters

it's just so validating to hear that it's not just overreacting or, you know, an emotional response, but it's, it's physical and emotional and, and spiritual. It's all of it.
We do evaluations with people who go through our coaching program, and this is one of the things that I'm always astonished that it is such a huge thing for people, but it is probably, it probably gets mentioned more than anything else about how normalizing this is such a big piece of settling their system and actually helping them start to have a sense of agency again. Because I think that a lot of people, when they're bouncing through this, they feel like something is wrong with them. And they're like, what is wrong with me that I'm reaching for this person who hurt me? What is wrong with me that then the next minute I hate them? Like, am I sick? Am I— am I like— have— do I have no dignity? Am I codependent? You know, there's all these things that come up for people. And I think when they find out No, actually, you're normal. And this is— your body is responding the way it's wired to respond. It's very settling and relieving for them.