Speaker (Nick Stumbo) reflects on the intense fear and embarrassment tied to the thought of relapse in recovery. He suggests shifting from an avoidance-only view (avoid specific behaviors/places) toward defining relapse in the context of a broader movement away from health — treating certain slips as reminders placed in a "middle circle" to prompt proactive steps toward recovery rather than only reacting to a single behavior.
Initially, the thought of relapse is so maybe frightening. If we're on the verge of losing our marriage, it's so embarrassing. Like, we're. We're attacking our recovery with this intensity that it's like, I don't. I don't ever want to relapse because all the fear associated with it. But I think there is something over time, not to ever say, like, relapse becomes okay, but if we are defining relapse differently as just anything that's part of that pattern, we might see that I need those things as reminders. I need them to be in that middle circle so I don't downplay them. And I'm not so much afraid of relapse itself or what will happen. I'm just afraid of reverting to my old unhealthy pattern. So I know that's like a small distinction because I think initially we're just like, avoid this behavior. Avoid going to that one place. And really it's like, no, I want to avoid moving away from health. And so I need to maybe add to what a relapse is so that I'm taking steps towards health and recovery long before I do go to some of those old, unhealthy places.
