Tip #7: Attach Your Commitment To Your Homework & F.A.S.T.E.R. Scale | Pure Desire Ministries

Alright guys, we're gonna move on to tip number seven. And this one is to attach your commitment to change to your homework and faster scale.

Yeah, I think that this one actually would help with that holistic piece because then you're allowing God to really reveal things through the homework and through your week. And you know, when you're looking at your faster scale and like Nick said, if you're seeing it's, you know, maybe you're struggling with all physical things this, this week, you're not getting enough sleep, you're preoccupied with tv, maybe it is spiritual that you've just been checked out of church and the Bible. And so by looking at your faster scale, by recognizing anything that pops up through homework because you're in there digging up really painful things and talking about a lot of different issues that could actually trigger you to want to respond in a certain way. So as you recognize that going through the homework in the faster scale, make your commitment to change about that so that it does lead you on course towards healing and not, it's not just another goal to reach this week on your calendar.

Yeah, I think when we identify what's driving us down the faster scale, or in particular what's that double bind that we're dealing with, that really becomes the motivation to say, oh, well, what do I need to work on there? So for example, if what I identify as driving me down the faster scale is feeling unappreciated and that's what's moved me into ticked off and exhausted. And then I really can ask myself the question, what could I do this week to stay in a place where I feel appreciated and realizing that maybe I've put unrealistic expectations on others to make me feel appreciated. Where I find that appreciation really first with God and who he made me to be. And so I might do something for a commitment that would be like each morning take a minute or two to reflect on God's love for me and how he gave his life. Because then I feel valuable and worth and I don't expect other people to make me feel valuable. So that's just an example of how my commitment to change is directly connected to what was happening the week before in my faster scale or the other thing we'll do. I'll just say real quick, in most of the groups I've led, we actually don't fill out our commitment to change until the end of the group because very often as you go through the homework and in particular when you hear other people share their answers, it just sparks. So Many new thoughts and ideas, like, well, I've never thought, I've never thought of the way I listened to this lie. And now your commitment to change connects directly to what you've just learned and you're trying to implement it in your life. I think that becomes so valuable.

Yeah, and I think too, like we just finished this week, we finished pillar four in seven pillars. And part of it is identifying patterns that you see with the sexual and non sexual behaviors that you do that have harmed people. And I think that one of the things I've seen just in my group, I've seen that there's definitely a time where when you finish that week's conversation and you've done all that work, you really don't want to focus on it anymore. You're like, okay, that was really difficult and painful and I kind of feel ashamed. I mean, one of the things that was mentioned last night is I feel shame because of the patterns that I see. I'm finally identifying this is who I really am and this is the way I live my life. I think that if you tie your commitment to change to those, you're going to see more, really more come out of that. You're spending an additional week on that stuff because there's a lot of stuff in the resources and they're paced really well. But sometimes we tend to just move on to the next thing and don't think about what we did the week before. And I think that, you know, for me, as I'm even. It's funny, Nick, you say like you get sparked with a commitment to change. I just got sparked by your idea. Maybe I should spend some more time on those patterns. Maybe I should spend more time on those patterns. And really that can only happen if you do tie it to homework and to your faster scale.

Well, that's why it's so important to, you know, as the international groups coordinator, I just get so heartbroken when I hear that group leaders and groups are running using the workbook without the journal because the journal has the commitment to change and the faster scale. And so if you're just spending your week, you know, looking at all these hard parts of your life, but then you don't have the journal to put feet to your recovery, it's not going to be the same for you. And so the journal is so important with these tools.