Why Betrayal & Beyond Needed An Overhaul | Pure Desire Ministries

So what was the catalyst for changing and updating it? And just what. What was the motivation? Because, again, this was not a small little tweak. This was an overhaul of a model. So what was the motivation behind that?

We always listen to our people. So, you know, we understand that every resource isn't going to reach every single person, but there's a small percentage of people that want to apply to. They don't like it. We know that we can't be everything for everybody, but overall, the resources that we create, we tend to hear consistent, good feedback and see consistent results out of that. And so I've been over the women's groups for around eight years now, and I'd say about five years ago, started to get more and more feedback that women were pushing against anything codependent. They didn't want to be blamed for their spouse's addiction. And, of course, me being so opinionated, and that's how I found my healing. And everything was like, oh, well, she must be codependent, you know? You know, like, not seeing it. But the more I kept seeing people push against it and started researching myself through my own experiences of, like, I feel like there's still part of this betrayal I haven't healed yet. There's still some issues here that I'm struggling with. I started to put it together, and so then I just started making lists and of all the feedback, and, I mean, Heather and I had four pages of just filled with feedback from people. And so we don't see that unless there really is something to look at and something to update. And so digging into the research, attending the ABSATS training, devouring the new research on betrayal trauma, we just saw that there was a lot more out there. And some of our information in our old Betrayal and Beyond book is really coming out of the addict research. And now we have newer research that's specific about the betrayed spouse and what they're going through, and that there's physical ramifications to going through this. And it just opened our eyes that, okay, there's new research. And so with new research and new information, we need to keep updating our resources. So.

And we had a lot of people who gave us feedback, a lot of women who had not just gone through the resource one time, but group leaders who had gone through it over and over and were getting feedback from the women in their group. And Even in those 40 pages of feedback that we had, you could easily go through that. And it's a lot of different voices, but it had a lot of the same information. And so that, I think, really helped us to identify where are the pieces that we need to reframe in the new bnb, and then what are the other pieces that maybe should not be part of this resource? And that they are really a different phase of healing than what women need right up front.

Yeah. And I know change is always hard. And so for some of our fans who went through betrayal and beyond, they're like, oh, why are they changing things? But there's also reality that when we're coming into healing and recovery for the first time, we don't know what we don't know. We don't know any other way. And so we just follow the workbook that's given to us. And I have heard from many women that said it was a good experience. And then when you bring up some of the pieces that were changing, like, well, yeah, that was awkward or hard or I didn't really understand it. But they're trying to follow a proven pathway, and we just did it. And in the end, they say, man, it was all really great in the end. But then when they started to hear some of those changes, like, oh, this does make more sense. And so.