A multi-speaker discussion (Rich, Nick Stumbo, and another speaker) about why mandatory reporting matters for protecting children, families, spouses, and communities. Speakers emphasize that reporting covers more than sexual abuse (including self-harm and other harms), the need to prioritize community safety over protecting secrets, the potential legal/liability risks to leaders and churches for failing to report, and the role of secrecy and shame in enabling ongoing harm.
As we look into this issue, Rich, why is being aware of this? Why is mandatory reporting such an important issue?
I always go to just the first one. It's the protection of children and families. So we often think that reporting somebody has to do with child sexual abuse or whatever. But it's a whole. I mean, there's a whole other piece of that layers to that. You know, when someone's talking about self harm, inflicting harm on other. It doesn't have to be sexual abuse. It could be just a multitude of things. So when it comes down to it, so you want to make sure that if there's ongoing or even stuff that was in the past, that we report that because that stuff needs to be brought out too. Because there could be some ramifications for that. And it's important because we're protecting. We don't want it to happen again. And then I'll get into it a little bit more just with like my story. But as we go through this, I think for true healing, this is just such a huge part for people to say, hey, this is a consequence. But yeah, when it comes down to it, we just have a job to do. And it's the tough part to do because we just had one, a couple of them last week, in the last couple weeks. We need to protect those. And oftentimes it's protecting the child, but we're really protecting the spouse as well.
Yeah, well.
And honestly, the community. I mean, if you think about, you know, like there have been times when I was on staff at a church where we knew someone had a criminal record and there was specific stuff like when it came to, can they be around children, can they be in certain situations? And so having those kind of conversations and knowing what is a reporting issue and knowing the information you need to have on mandatory reporting protects your entire community. It's not just because, I mean, the kids are obviously very, very important, especially the families and the spouses, for sure. But also just this is something that if you're aware of the right information, this is going to help your church, period. Whether it's in a pure desire group or not. This is the kind of thing that helps you protect your community.
Yeah, yeah. And I think there is a mindset shift we have to go through there because some, I think, fear, well, I don't want to get that person in trouble or it was a long time ago and they've changed. And that's not really our role to determine those things. Our role is to help them and to protect our community. And so the mindset shifted to say, how do we make sure that the community is safe and that the way this group is structured is safe for others in the future. And if we get into any situation where we're protecting someone by helping protect their secrets, that's just that that wouldn't be a good situation even if it wasn't a reporting issue that I'm helping you keep secrets to protect you. It's like as we've seen, that is often part of someone's healing journey. And even if they say, oh well, you know, I would never do that again. Well, as we all know, when we're stuck in these kind of behaviors or have this history, there's also a level of denial, rationalization, minimization. And of course we're going to say, oh, I would never do that again because we all believe that about all of our negative behaviors. And so even if someone is saying o, but it's not something I would ever do again, it's like, well, the reality is it's part of your story and if you haven't faced it, you're going to need to. And now that I have this information, I'm going to have to make sure you face it or I'll have to do something because of just all the other ramifications of it. So I think when we change the way we think about it, we can see that, oh, this is just a way of being responsible to keep people safe and not am I ratting someone out for their past behaviors?
Yeah, because it can actually come back on the leader or the church if a leader doesn't make a report and it's a reportable issue and then something happens and then the individual says, well, I told my group leader and then now the group leader can be held accountable for not reporting and then the lawsuit could come back to the church or what we've seen that happen.
Yeah, I think another piece too on that and I was just thinking, Nick, as you were saying, that the areas where there's secrecy in our life, there tends to be tons and tons of shame. And that is the perfect place for brokenness to live and to grow. And so even just at a practical level, we know that from the addiction to pornography and the impacts that can have on us, and so even more so when it comes to something like this, that maybe it is a one time situation, but the secrecy is definitely not a healthy spot for that person to keep that piece of their story.
