Nick StumboExecutive Director driving healing from sexual brokenness

Why We Avoid Negative Emotions

12 Jun 2026 · 1 min

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In this monologue, the speaker acknowledges a personal tendency—and a common human tendency—to ignore or suppress emotions, especially negative ones, because confronting them feels like taking on responsibility for the feelings and the actions they may prompt. The speaker argues that genuine, lasting behavioral change cannot occur without first examining the underlying emotions, identifying the patterns in which those emotions appear before and after certain behaviors, and then deliberately choosing new responses. By digging into one's emotional landscape and recognizing these cycles, individuals can replace old patterns with healthier alternatives, making sustainable change possible.

Chapters

We have a tendency to, and I know I'm exactly this way, I am guilty of this 100%, to not want to pay attention to our emotions because I don't want the responsibility that I know that it is attached to that emotion. And so I will like discount it, shove it down, something like that. If I want the change in behavior, it requires me to look at that emotion and look at what I'm feeling and look at where it shows up in my life, look at what comes before and what comes after in the behaviors, and do something new. I mean, that's the only way that we ever are gonna create lasting change is if we're willing to dig into our own behaviors, dig into our own emotions, find the patterns, and replace it with something different. Yeah.