A Star Trek comedy sketch where two characters spiral into absurd arguments about identity and relationships on a holodeck. One reveals a secret romance with a commander, triggering exaggerated threats and a repetitive debate about whether anyone is actually a Klingon, before veering into a shoe-obsessed fairy tale parody.
Oh, counselor, what has happened between you and the commander? Did he hurt you? I will rip his arms off.
Wow, that's a really nice offer, but I think I'm the one that hurt him. See, I honestly think he didn't know that Kevin and I had been dating for 2 years.
I mean, 2 years.
How oblivious can you get?
The commander is quite oblivious.
Yes, he is.
Kevin? Kevin Reynolds? The kid who smelled like soy sauce? That Kevin Reynolds? What about me? I'm fairly fluent in Klingon. Kevin!
Two years! I thought you two were my best friends! Give me your phaser! Now, these are such a joke!
I can't believe this! Now away with you, furry creature! I reflect on my reflection. And I ask myself the question, what's the right direction to go? I don't know. Am I a man, or am I a Klingon? Are you serious? Are you a Klingon? What? If I'm a Klingon, then I'm a very manly Klingon. Mildly Am I a Klingon loser, or am I a man? Yeah, you're a man. Who's saying that? If I'm a man, that makes me a Klingon of a man. Maybe a clingy man. Am I right? Am I right? Ruining my song. Poor guy. As I look into these eyes, I do not recognize the one I see inside. Well, this is awkward. Time for me to decide. Am I a man? Or am I a Klingon? I hope you had a breath mint. Those poor front rowers. I'm a Klingon. And I'm a very manly Klingon. I'm pretty sure you live with your mom. You're a beast. Klingon! Am I a man? Yeah, he's a mama's boy. If I'm a man, that makes me a Klingon of a man. Just keep on dreaming there, bud. Here I go again, I'm always running out of time. I think I've made up my mind, now I understand what you are. Just wait for it. This one gets good. You're a nerd! You're a very nerdy nerd! I will find you and I will kill you! Where's that voice coming from? The guy over here said it. You with no hair, come here! I will hack you! Not you, right here! You with the— How dare you insult my mother! I will tear your scalp from your skull! Computer lights! Computer lights off. Computer, beautiful Klingon woman. Commander, I didn't expect you to appear on the holodeck. Commander, that's foul even for a Klingon. Get your nose out of the shoe. Anyway, what is it? It's mine. My own. My precious. Commander, it's just a shoe. Actually, it's a sandal. Cinderella's glass slipper. I'm gonna find her and finish the fairy tale. Well, Commander, I'll help you finish the fairy tale provided you stop sniffing it. Agreed. Just give me the shoe.
