Harmonyx Cabaret 2015 Final Cut

So without further ado, we present The Valentine's Cabaret.

I had a dream so big and loud. I jumped so high, I touched the cloud.

I stretched my hands up to the sky. We danced with monsters through the night. I'm never gonna look back. No, I'm never gonna give it up. No, please don't break me now. 2, 3, 4. This is gonna be the best day of my life. This is gonna be the best day of my life. No, please don't wake me now. This is gonna be the best day of my life. My life. This is gonna be the best day of my life.

My life.

I hear it calling outside my window. I feel it in my soul.

In my soul.

The stars were burning so bright.

The sun was up till midnight. I said we lose control. Control.

Everything is looking up, everybody up now. That's gonna be the best day of my life. 8:03? I'm not missing a second of this. Do you realize how incredible it was we even got tickets to this? I share your frustration, sir.

I don't—

I believe I can see her coming this way.

Oh, there you are! Oh, sorry. Wow, you two look amazing! Oh wow, that is awesome! I'm sorry I'm a few minutes late. I underestimated the time it'd take to create the classic Deanna Troi look.

You look ravishing. Your beauty could destroy a thousand Romulan battleships. However, if you please excuse us, Counselor. Commander, could I have words? Yeah, what's up?

You knew, didn't you?

You knew she was coming to Troy so you could dress up as Ranker and come in as lover boy. You know how much I like her. Calm down, man. You know I've been attracted to her, Troy. I've had a thing for her since the third grade. Well, you know what? I've had a thing for her since the first grade, so back off. And if I refuse? Back to that ashtray.

What's that?

Klingon? You know I don't speak Klingon. Exactly. Listen, let me explain this to you. Every night she walks right in my dreams. Since I met her from the start. I'm so proud I am the only one who is special in her heart. The girl is mine. The doggone girl is mine. You're ill in the head, Commander. I know she's mine. The doggone girl is mine. Step aside, let me explain it how it goes. I don't understand the way you think, saying that she's yours, not mine. Sending roses and your silly dreams really just a waste of time because she's mine. The doggone girl is mine. I'm telling you, he's a back hog. Don't waste your time because the doggone girl is mine. I love you more than he. Take you anywhere.

Well, I love endlessly.

Love and we will share, so come and go with me to another town. But we both cannot have her, so it's one or the other. And one day you'll discover that she's not yours forever and ever. I don't build you up to be let down, but I really feel I feel it's time. You know, she said that I'm the one for her, 'cause she says I blow her mind. Girl is mine. The doggone girl is mine. I tell her, step out of the way.

What's that?

Because the doggone girl is mine. Now come here. Come here. She's mine.

Hey! We are here to have fun, not fight! Please, you two! You started it. I am so excited that we're finally here doing this! Look, I brought us lunches so we don't have to waste time standing in line. You two are the best friends ever! Best friends a girl could ask for. I'm pretty sure we've been talking about doing this since the first grade or third grade.

It was the first grade, as a matter of fact.

Back off. Come on, let's go get in line.

Let me get the bag for you.

Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. I'll stay with the counselor. Oh, Dad, isn't life magical? I feel as though all of my fondest wishes are coming true. Yeah, well, it's a good thing I love you because my feet are killing me in these shoes. Oh, but you look so beautiful. Seriously? I'm Cinder-freaking-rela! You have me in a dress? I'd rather be Wonder Woman. Hi, girls! Hey, Marcella! Hi! Oh, I thought we each decided to dress as a princess. My deepest apologies if I wasn't clear, but you don't fit our theme. Um, Mikayla, what are you talking about? Look at you guys. This is not DisneyCon, it's Comic-Con. No, I'm a little disappointed. Oh my Gosh, I don't know. Well, think about it. I guess Leia is a princess. And although her story is not quite uniform to ours— oh, didn't Disney buy Star Wars? True, yes. She does end up vanquishing the evil foe. And finding her true love. Yeah, and kissing her brother, right? Whatever. Hey, royalty is royalty. No matter who you have to kiss to be one. I own a million diamonds in the face. I get my tricks from Happily Ever After. I'm in love with my dress. In a glitzy town, in my own castle. But every song is like poison apples. Home before the clock strikes midnight. All gum, all be what you know me.

We don't care.

We're driving Cadillacs down the street and everybody's like lost glass slippers waiting on your last kiss. Jedi, Death Star, godmothers, us, we doubt you all care. You're all caught up in our love affair and we'll always be royal. Royal. It just runs in our blood. That Cadillac's just for us and it's a wicked kind of fun living Call me your ruler. Ruler. You can call me Queen Bee. And maybe I'll rule the world. Because I live that fantasy. My friends and I, we've cracked the code.

We count our jewels on the way.

To the party. Everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this. We have a lot of money, but every song is like poison apple. Before the clock strikes midnight, fall down. Oh, we want to know, we don't care. We're driving Cadillacs down the street and everybody's Like glass slippers waiting on true love's kiss. Jedi, Death Star, godmothers, speeder, you all care. You're all caught up in our love affair. I will always be royal. It just runs in our blood. That kind of looks is just for us, and it's a wicked kind of buzz. Let me be your ruler. Ruler. Beautiful Baby, baby. Life was great without a care. You're all caught up in my love affair. I will not be royal. So, it just runs in our blood. That kind of luxe is just for us. And it's a wicked kind of buzz. Let me be your ruler. Ruler. You can call me Queen Bee. And marry your boo. I will not rule. Oh, I hope we see some dwarves or sweet woodland creatures. Well, I hope we find some hot men with only shreds of clothes. So I can use my new blaster.

Look, there's no need to be nervous. Look, the girls you meet at this place are Amazing! This is going to be tons of fun. Whoa, whoa, whoa, chill. Look, we've tried every other possible way of meeting someone, and to be quite frank, this is your last chance. I'm just not getting the Han Solo voice right.

What do you think it is?

What am I missing? Oh, real mature, Nerf herder. Oh, who's scruffy looking? Fine, let's just get in line. I'll work on the Han Solo Honey, are you almost done in there?

I know you went through a lot of trouble to plan this surprise for our anniversary. I have no idea what I'm wearing. This isn't going to get all freaky, is it? I don't think I'm into that. No. I was thinking dinner reservations, tickets to that new Cirque du Soleil show that's in town. Do I look like Cirque du Soleil? Honey! Can you hurry up in there? I'm very excited, totally terrified to find out where we're going. We're first.

Comic-Con?

You brought us to a comic convention for our anniversary? What are you doing? There is no way that floor is sanitary for kissing. Oh, stop hugging people! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. What are you doing? Oh! Are you a dwarf? Excuse me? No, no, no, let me guess. Happy? What? Dopey? Oh! I'm an elf. Arwen. And this is Argonauts? Like Jason? Argon. Is that a dragon? I'm trying! Aragorn! This is Aragorn! Oh! I get it, she's grumpy!

You know what, Julie, I think you're right. Miss Arwen does look pretty uncomfortable. Excuse me, elf. I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Would you like to check Do you want to sit down for a little while?

Oh, actually, yes, that would be great.

We could be standing around for quite some time.

Thank you. Congratulations! What are you due? Uh, just a couple months. That's awesome! That's so exciting! You're killing me, I need to sit down too. Seriously, behave yourself! She's only pregnant! Goodness gracious.

Tiana, we should probably stay close together throughout the day because, you know, we do end up married in the end.

Sounds like a plan!

I would kill you where you stand! If you weren't my best friend. You wouldn't dare kill number one. You have far too much honor. Are you sure? Because I knocked out a number two about 20 minutes ago!

What are you doing? What is it with you and furry creatures? He is the biggest, most adorable looking creature I've ever seen, don't you think? I wish it, wish it. Seriously, that's weird.

No need to wax philosophical or poetic. Yes, Snow White is a lovely creature, but I'm pretty sure her character isn't too, you know, short of men with a pickaxe. Heigh-ho and all that kind of stuff. You can go talk to her if you like. Rude.

He says the line's moving.

and in my tortured shape, no comfort, no escape. I see, but deep within is utter blindness, hopeless. As the dream dies, as the time flies, love Lost illusion, helpless, unforgiven, cold and driven to this sad conclusion. No beauty could move me, no goodness improve me. Me. No power on earth if I can't love her. No passion could teach me. No lesson could reach me how I could have loved her. And make her love me too. If I can't love her, then who? Long ago I would have seen all the things I could I have been careless and unthinking, I moved onward. No pain could be deeper, no life could be cheaper, no point anymore if I can't love. No spirit could win me. No hope leapt within me. Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free. But it's not to be. If I can't love her, let the world be done with me.

Okay girls, I've got it all planned out. The first thing that we have to do is find the limited edition Death Star model with actual blueprints and realistic battle sounds. It's the only thing I came here for, and I'm not leaving without it. She has on her crazy eyes! Okay, I think it's gonna be over here. Well, come on! No, time's a-wastin'! Oh, geez, my feet!

Dude! Okay, so Chewie, I'm pretty sure the limited edition Death Star model with actual blueprints and realistic battle sounds is going to be over here. I will die without it. Oh, that was not dramatic. I ain't lived a hard life. Oh, what's been hard? Some people say a man is made out of mud. A full man's made out of muscle and blood. Muscle and blood instead of mud. Skin and bone, a mind that's weak and a bag that's strong. You load 16 tons, what do you get for do? Another day older and deeper in debt. Say, Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go. I owe my soul to the company store. I was bored one morning when the sun didn't shine. I picked up my shovel and I walked to the mine. 16 tons of number 9 coal I was robbed. I said, well, bless my soul, you lose 16 tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go. I owe my soul to the company store. And deeper in debt. St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go. I owe my soul to the company store.

Excuse me, gentlemen.

Would either of you happen to know where the restroom is? I had some Romulan ale that didn't agree with me. More like Capri Sun. Yes, so the bathroom is around the corner, first on your right. Are you quite certain to the right? To the right. Thank you. Tak'naa. Did he just say Tak na. No idea what that even means, but it doesn't matter because I just told him where the women's bathroom was. Wrap it up, buzzball. Let's go get that desk.

He wants a hot dog. Fine, I'll get you a hot dog. Do I want anything? No, I'm only growing a human. Why would I need to eat?

Watch your step, She-Elf. My phaser is set to kill.

Hey, we're benign. We're just humans.

Yeah, Lieutenant, my wife can take care of herself. She's not your wife.

I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure that was my fault. Oh no, that was me. I was blinded by the rage of a thousand burning suns. I just didn't see you. Yeah, everything okay? No, I don't.

Yeah, it's so wonderful to be with such a strong and independent woman with the spirit of a stallion, the courage of an Amazon. But I want you to know that I would defend you I will fight to the death if you ask me to.

Wow, that's a really nice speech.

Commander, you are pathetic. I am going to find the men's restroom.

Wow, Rob, you are really into this. That is so awesome. Kevin never would have been this cool about character development.

Kevin? Who's Kevin?

Are you joking? Kevin and I have only been dating for 2 years.

Kevin Reynolds?

Yes.

My lab partner from senior year?

Yes.

Acne face, personality dry as a wheat thin? That Kevin?

Hey, be nice. You haven't objected the last few years. Why? Why?

I'm so much more manly and charming.

Chivalrous and magnificent. Okay, Kevin. I'll tell you why, Kevin. Faithful. You will find him, you'll find him next to me. You won't find him trying to chase the devil, money, fame, or power out of greed. You won't ever find him where the rest go. You will find him, you'll find him next to me. Next to me. Next to me. Next to me. You will find him, you'll find him next to me. When the money's gone and all my friends have vanished, and I can seem to find no love or help or freedom, I know there's no need for me to panic, 'cause I'll find him, I'll find him next to me. When the sky is gray and all the doors are closing, and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe, when I need a hand to stop those seeds from falling, I will find him, I'll find him next to me. Next to me, he, hoo hoo hoo. Next to me, he, hoo hoo. Next to me, he, hoo hoo hoo. Next to me, he, hoo hoo hoo. Next to me, he, hoo hoo. Next to me. I will find you, I'll find you next to me. Also, he's modest, which is the last character trait he needs.

Come on, John Williams. Dude, did you just kiss your biceps? What are you doing? Just shut up, okay? I don't want to talk about it. The John Williams panel is starting. Are you coming? Yes, of course I'm coming.

Honey, my feet are really hurting. Do you think you could rub them while we stand in this line? Honey?

Hello?

Ugh, rub my own feet. So this John Williams guy, is he hot?

Um, he's 82 and bald. So do you need to be in this line, lassie? Whoa!

Somebody's throwing something there. I need to get that looked at. He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! That way. I'll take care of it. Jerk over there. Get him. Get him, Hans. Oh, whoa. Hot Hans. I mean, high Hans. Okay, so you may be ruggedly handsome, But it doesn't give you license to be rude.

This is John Williams, after all. He's kind of an icon.

Oh, I totally agree. We have that in common.

I know.

I mean, agree. Okay, great. I'm gonna go back to my friends now. See you later. Oh, I don't laugh like that. I can't take it! I've been walking around on swollen feet all day, I'm wearing this ridiculous costume, and I'm starving! I'm going to wait in the car and don't follow me! I said don't follow me! We should follow her! John will— Yum. Here we go.

Fine.

She said not to follow her. Stop. We should follow her! Whatever. Looks like we're missing a shoe. Keep it up and I might miss another one.

Hey, Invisible Man, don't you think you should follow your pregnant wife? She might get the idea that you aren't really there for her. Yeah, women can see right through excuses. Oh, trust me, it was hilarious. Oh no, no, the women are fine. They'll get her. It's okay. Plus, this is John Williams. John Williams. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. Time ago, far, far away. Long time ago, far, far away. Kiss a Wookiee. Not today. Fly the Falcon through an asteroid till the princess is annoyed. This is spaceships, it's monsters, it's Star Wars, we love it. Come and help me, Obi-Wan. X-wing fighters and a blaster gun. Dance with Ewoks, oh what fun. This is spaceships, it's monsters, it's Star Wars, we I love it. Get in there, you big furry wolf. I couldn't care less what you smell. I take orders from only me. Maybe you'd like it back in your saddle, Your Highness, Your Worshipfulness, Your Highness, Your Worshipfulness. No one cares if you upset a droid. Nobody cares if you upset a droid. Don't tear your arms out of socket. Nobody cares. I suggest a new strategy. Let the Wookie win. That's because nobody cares if you upset Detroit. Now we listen to Luke whining, one more season, one more season, one more season, one more season. I was gonna go to Tosh. Station 4 Power, come forward. Now I guess I'm going nowhere. It just Is it better? Someone move this walking carpet. Someone move this walking carpet.

Someone move this walking carpet.

Someone move this walking carpet.

Kiss your brother.

Kiss your brother. Kiss your brother. Kiss your brother. Kiss your brother.

Kiss your brother.

Kiss your brother. You don't know anything about women. Kiss your brother.

Kiss your brother. Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Oh, kind your father, please use less resistance. Come with me, my son, we will rule. Such obedience he despised. So you'll have a twin sister. Obi-Wan was wise till he died. If you will not turn Then perhaps she will give in to your legs. You are mine. Far, far, far away, long, long, long time ago, far, far, far away, kiss a wolf, kiss a wolf, hug a dog, kick a droid, bite the falcon and an asteroid. Till the princess is annoyed. This is Spaceships, it's Monsters, it's Star Wars, we love it. It's Episode 7, 2015, so let's go. May the Force be with you all. John Williams is the man!

Men. Men are pigs.

No, silly. Pigs are pigs.

Sometimes men just don't know how to listen to the music. Music in their hearts. Can we get anything for you? Here's Bella.

What?

She's pregnant. Not to death. Oh, these buns. Thank you. I think it's just the hormones. The raging hormones. Go ahead and let it all out. The least we can do is listen. Oh no, I'm not one to air my grievances to strangers. And I'm a fairly reserved individual. But I do really like this song. <LYRICS>Your love is like a tidal wave spinning over my head.</LYRICS> —your promises that left unfilled. You're right, Kevin Singer, to release my inner fantasy. The amazing winner, and you know that you were born to be. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, You're a love taker, don't you mess around with me. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker, don't you mess around. No, no, no. Your love has set my soul on fire, burning out of control. You turn me to flames of desire. Now it's taken its toll. You're the right hand of sin to release my inner fantasy. The abyss of a winner, and you know that you were born to be. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don't you mess around with me. You're a heartbreaker, dream The events of a winner. And to know that you were born to be. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don't you mess around with me. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Don't you mess around with me. You're a heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker. Okay, so that's intermission. Uh, take about 15 minutes. People will bring you your desserts. Oh, hi! Did you want to talk about the bathroom? Okay, okay, see you in 15. —inspired by you.

This hasn't happened for the longest time. Once I thought my innocence was gone. Now I know that happiness goes on. That's where you found me when you put your arms around me. That hasn't happened for the longest time. Make Mama be this This won't last very long, but you feel so right. I could be wrong. Maybe I've been hoping too hard. But I've come this far, and it's more than I've hoped for. Who knows how much further we'll go on? Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone. I want you so bad. I think you ought to know that I intend to hold you for the longest time. Hey, darling, when I was at the store, I said to myself, hold on to your heart. Now I know the woman that you are. You're wonderful so far, and it's more than I've I don't care what consequence it brings. I have been a fool for lesser things. I want you so bad, I think you ought to know that I intend to hold you for the longest time. Oh, the longest, for the longest time. Everybody's okay with these being up here the entire show, right?

Especially these guys and those guys. Clearly that was not part of the show. Yes, yes, yes! Oh, very, very yes!

Oh, I can go on living now! Oh, this No, no, no, this is my moment and let me have it. Come on, girls, let's hurry.

I think we have enough time to catch the other jumpers.

Sorry, I forgot my game.

Call the guy. There's only one left. One left. No. No! Oh no, oh no, what's happened to my eyes? Oh, you're gonna block your white! The world has lost its color! The world has lost its flavor! Life holds no joy.

Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck. Some nights I call it a draw. Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle. Some nights I wish they'd just fall off. But I still wake up, I still see your ghost. Oh Lord, I'm still not sure. what I stand for. Whoa, what do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know anymore. What in the heck does this have to do with the scene that just happened? This makes absolutely no sense. Right? Who wrote this script?

Hey, I wrote it. Don insisted that we sing this song. I didn't know where else to put it. It doesn't fit anywhere. He's killed my dreams of the Best Original Script Oscar.

Nicole, I thought it sounded wonderful. Let's finish. Moment is past, ma'am. Anyway, hey, uh, I think we need to get back to the scene. A very It's a climax. Leia wants the Death Star. Life has no color.

No food. And— oh, it's you!

Yes, you got it! I did! Oh, it's beautiful! Oh, it is very lovely, is it not? Yes. Would you— would you like to touch it? Smell it. It is magnificent. Oh, please.

It is very, very nice.

I am so sorry you did not get it. Could I maybe buy you a Slurpee? Marcella?

Staring at your phones all day has made me really hungry. Can we please go buy the Cinnabon? Okay. Thank you. Come on, honey, you're gonna thank us for this later. No, no, no, I don't want to go. I want to smell it one more time. Can I lick it? Oh no, no, you lick your butt.

You lick your butt.

My blood's here. I want to stay here.

I really gotta work on that hon. But I mean, I got it, so... Oh, Counselor. What has happened between you and the Commander? Did he hurt you? I will rip his arms off!

Wow, that's a really nice offer, but I think I'm the one that hurt him. See, I honestly think he didn't know that Kevin and I had been dating for 2 years. I mean, 2 years! How oblivious can you get?

The commander is quite oblivious. Yes, he is. Kevin? Kevin Reynolds? The kid who spelled like soy sauce?

That Kevin Reynolds?

What about me?

I'm fairly fluent in Klingon. Kevin! 2 years! I thought you two were my best friends! Give me your phaser, now! Phaser's set to kill! I can't believe this! Now away with you, furry creature!

I reflect on my reflections and I ask myself the question, what's the right direction to go? I don't know. Am I a man? Or am I a Klingon? Are you serious? Are you a Klingon? What? If I'm a Klingon, then I'm a very manly Klingon. Mildly. Am I a Klingon loser, or am I a man? You're a man. You're saying that I'm a man? That makes me a Klingon of a man. Maybe a clingy man. Am I right? Am I right? Ruining my song! Poor As I look into these eyes, I do not recognize the one I see inside. Oh wow, this is awkward. Time for me to decide. Am I a man? Or am I a Klingon? I hope you had a breath mint. Those poor front rowers. I'm putting on And I'm a very manly Klingon. I'm pretty sure you live with your mom, you obese Klingon. Or am I a man? Yep, he's a mama's boy. If I'm a man, that makes me a Klingon of a man. Just keep on dreaming there, bud. Here I go again, I'm always running out of time. I think I've made up my mind. Now I understand what you are. Just wait for it, this one gets good. You're a nerd! You're a very nerdy nerd! I will find you and I will kill you! Where's that voice coming from? The guy over here said it. You with no hair, come here! I will hack you! Not you, right here! You with the black hair! How dare you insult my mother! He'll peel your scalp from your skull. Computer lights. Computer lights off. Computer, beautiful Klingon woman. Commander, I didn't expect you to appear on the holodeck. Commander, that's foul even for a Klingon. Get your nose out of the chute. Anyway, what is it?

It's mine. My own. My precious.

Commander, it's just a shoe. Actually, it's Cinderella's glass slipper. I'm gonna find her and finish the fairy tale. Well, Commander, I'll help you finish the fairy tale, provided you stop sniffing it. Agreed. Just give me the shoe.

It's mine. My heart will be silent no longer. I must speak to this gentle creature. Go woo the Wookiee, honey. Hello, gentle and noble creature. I am Snow White, and I am very pleased to meet you.

Dude, say something to it. I am being English to her. Say something, I'm giving up on you.

I'll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I would have followed you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I am feeling so small. It was over my head. I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall. Still learning to love.

He's just starting to crawl.

Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

I hope that hurt.

For some reason, you're the one that she loved. I'm saying goodbye. Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would have followed you. Oh, oh, oh. Say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

I swear, if you don't, I'm gonna knee you in your little boogie.

It's not happening.

That's not what I meant. I think she only speaks English.

My dear fair princess, I have loved thee since I Dear Prasadi, your voice is like an angel. Your heart is light and warm. It would be my pleasure to take you to dinner. May I pick you up from your cottage on Friday at 7, please?

She'd love to. G'day, princess.

I really admire your passion. I think you should have this. Thank you. I think it's yours.

I really, I really couldn't.

Are you sure?

I'm absolutely sure.

Yes, Leia. You are wonderful! Oh, I'd gladly jump in a vat of carbonite for you. I'll tell you what, let's go back to my place. Yeah, let's reenact the scene where, you know, you saved me from Jabba's palace. I would love that.

Okay, can I just say something crazy? I love crazy. All my life has been a series of doors in my face, and then suddenly I bump into you.

I've been searching my whole life to find my own place, and maybe it's your funds talking.

What a common comfort these walls bring. I see your face, and it's not the light I've never known before.

Love is an open door. Love is an open door.

Door. Love is an open door with you. With you. With you. With you. Love is an open door.

That was crazy. What? We finish each other's—

Sandwiches.

That's what I was gonna say.

I never met someone who thinks so much like me. Jinx! Jinx again! Our mental synchronization can have but one explanation. You and I were just meant to be. Say goodbye— Say goodbye to the pain of the past.

We don't have to be I can't deal it anymore.

Love is an open door. Love is an open door. Life could be so much more with you. With you. With you. With you. Love is an open door.

Leia, can I say something crazy?

Would you marry me? Can I say something even crazier? Yes! This is just great. Just great. I'm the one that came to this thing to find a hot guy. And instead, my two best friends end up leaving with somebody. You know, this would have never happened to Wonder Woman. I'm pretty sure this belongs to you. You think?

Yeah. Can I help you slip it back on?

Whatever.

Oh, oh, oh, it's a match.

Oh man.

So I was wondering if you would like to come back to my place for a drink?

A drink? Did you say a drink? Yeah. Yes! I've been waiting all day for a drink. Let's go.

Come on. So my mom makes She makes these great milkshakes and killer chocolate chip cookies.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you say your mom? Yeah, well, yeah, I did. You live with your mom?

Well, I mean, she's not exactly my mom. She's my dad's fourth wife, so she's basically my stepmom.

Whoa. Cinderella does not do stepmothers. Oh, it's you. No, I didn't even make it to the car. I did find one of those chair massage places. I just hung out there all afternoon. Well, you should be. I mean, did you even think about me when you planned this? Are there pockets? This thing has pockets? Oh. Dinner reservations, tickets to Cirque du Soleil. This was your plan all along, wasn't it, honey? Ugh, I feel ridiculous. I mean, I've been walking around all day like a crazy person. Well, that's very nice of you to say, but I feel completely— Oh! Oh, oh. Where did you learn to dance? What we have is real, isn't it, honey? I mean, people wait their whole lives for something like this. Ah! We are in public.

Commander, what has happened? Security team to the lobby. I went outside to get some fresh air and some teenagers pelted me with water balloons.

Oh, I thought there was just a lovely spring shower.

Those punks!

Let me at them! I'll get them for you! I'll get them! Whoa, whoa, whoa, Calm down, we've been through this before. I haven't. Well, that's true. You see, Cinderella here, she protected Snow and I in high school from the bullies in exchange for our— well, my tutoring. Snow just brought the apple pies. For the rest of us, we've all had targets on our backs, whether it was junior high or high school. Or college. Ooh, really, Derek?

Well, you know, just the first 4 years.

It doesn't matter! At any age! Being a nerd is tough. That's right, but we're not afraid to do it. Yes. Well, we all have our sad stories. My kids.

My great-great-great-grandpa, the trapper keeper.

And my Little Pony hair bows.

My Pokémon card club. High school.

Hey, but what have we got to be ashamed of? We're just like everybody else, aren't we?

Well, we are.

I mean, look, dry your eyes, my friend. Today is our day. Yeah, you know, we're a crazy person? That kind of makes a lot of sense, sister. No, we ain't gonna take it. We're not gonna take it anymore. We've got the right to choose, and there's no time to lose. This is our life, this is our song.

We'll fight the powers that be, just don't pick our destiny, 'cause you don't know us, you don't belong.

We're not gonna take it. No, we ain't gonna take it. Shoot it. I'm getting it. We're not gonna take it anymore.

Not that good execution either. Oh, you're so condescending.

Your gall is never-ending. We don't want nothing another thing from you. Your life is trite and dated, boring and confiscated. If that's your best, your best won't do.

Yeah! We're free! Yeah!

We'll fight! Yeah! You'll see! Yeah! We're not gonna take it! Do you want me to shoot you? No! We're not gonna take it! We're not gonna take this anymore!

Yeah!

We're not gonna take this! No! We're not gonna take it. We're not gonna take it anymore. We're not gonna take it. Come on! No! We're not gonna take it. We're not gonna take it anymore. Today was a great day, everyone! It was really fun! Yes, it was. I didn't mean you two. Yeah, I had a pretty good day.

I can do this. This has definitely been one of the best days. Right? No?

To really work on that hotness. I know it will help. Okay, we'll watch Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6.

The Star Wars marathon. Yes!

And we can cuddle with our baby. He has your eyes. They do. Want to go play some video games at your mom's house?

Milkshakes and chocolate chip cookies? It would be an honor, Commander. Yeah, my drink.

You can't have it. My drink. My girl. My homies. I love you. I love you. I love you. I still love you. Lots of love. Oh, yes, dear. God bless us, everyone.

That is not at all what he said. Oh, and I am not repeating what he just said. Whoo!

Okay, let's just sing the last song, shall we? Do you like this? <LYRICS>Life leaves you high and dry, I'll be at your door tonight.

If you need help, if you need help, I'll shut down the city lights, I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe to make you well, to make you well.

When enemies are at your door, I'll carry you away from war.

If you need help, if you</LYRICS> You're holding me by a string.

I'll share in your suffering to make you well, to make you well.

Give me reasons to believe that you would do the same for me, and I would do it for you, for you. Maybe I'm not moving on.

I'll let you know.

I'll love you long after you're gone. For you, for you, you will never sleep alone. I'll love you long after you go, and long after you're gone, gone, gone. When you fall like a statue, I'm gonna be there to catch you, put you on your feet, you on your feet.

And if your well is empty, —Not a thing, my friend.

Let me tell me what you need. What do you need? I surrender my honesty. You've always done the same for me. And I would do it for you, for you. Stop it!

Stop singing! Okay, sing, honey. He's really good. I stare in my face! Long after you're gone, gone, gone, you're my backbone, you're my cornerstone, you're my crush when my legs stop moving, you're my hair star, you're my rugged heart, you're the pulse that I'm holding.

For you, you will never sleep alone. I'll love you long after you go. Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.