The transcript captures a live stage set at the 2017 Herriman Days Festival, featuring two performers, Andy and Don, who alternate between spoken banter, improvised rap‑style verses, and musical numbers. The show opens with a patriotic chant praising American freedom and honoring fallen soldiers, followed by a stream‑of‑conscious rap about dreams, cars, and a surreal lifestyle. The duo then launches into a Star Wars‑themed parody, riffing on classic film scores. Afterward they attempt a Billy Joel cover, “Uptown Girl,” with Andy taking the lead, and later perform a comedic rendition of Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” inserting original verses about housing woes. The set concludes with a tongue‑in‑cheek version of Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire,” interwoven with existential musings. Throughout, the performers comment on the festival atmosphere, food, and audience, mixing humor, patriotism, and pop‑culture references to engage the crowd.
Chapters
And I had to start again with just my children and my life. I thank my lucky stars to be living here today where the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away. And I'm proud to be an American. I know I'm free, and I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me. And I'll gladly stand up next to you and defend her till today, 'cause there ain't no doubt I love this land. God bless the USA.
From the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee, across the hills of Texas, or from Phoenix, I see you.
Detroit down to Houston, from New York to LA. It's calling in every American heart, and it's time we stand and say that I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me. And I'll gladly stand up next to you and And first in the nation, 'cause there ain't no doubt, I love this land. God bless the USA. And I'm proud to be an American wearing these 9/11 beads. And I won't forget the men who died And us ladies, we're just gonna class it up a little bit. I'm done, I'm all done.
I'm good.
No, you still need to stand over there.
Oh, sorry.
That's a good place for you. 3 goose tripping in the bathroom. Can't stay small, man, just in the hotel room. We don't care. We're driving Cadillac in our dream, but everybody's like crystal babe act. Time is all our time. Peace, good things, violence, the cycle's all our fault. Peace, we don't care. We're not royal and we'll never be royal. But around in our mind, it kind of looks the same for us. We feel a different kind And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this. We didn't come from money, but every song's like Pootie Pree who's tripping in the bathroom. The state's all in a flush about drugs, we don't care. We're driving Cadillacs in our dreams, but everybody's like Crystal Bae back at the Thunderdome. He's Jeff Lane's island, I just wanna go to the beach, we don't care.
A tenor. Well, all right, we're gonna get the ladies a break for a second, then we're gonna sing a song for you guys. We're not quite sure. We're gonna do something about show tunes, uh, movie, movie score, movie scores. That's right, that's right. Uh, you know what, when I think of movie score, I can't help but think of Star Wars. Uh, John Williams. John Williams, that's right. What about you, Andy? Superman, Jurassic Park, E.T. Well, let's do one of them. Let's do all of them. All of them? Yeah, let's just go for it. Let's see what happens. All right, trust me, dog. Just, uh, can you give me a C with You must use the Force. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. You must use the Force. Time ago, far, far away, long time ago, far, far away. Kiss a monkey, time ago, kick a troll, far away. Light up a gun through an asteroid, till the princess is annoyed. This is Spaceships, Monsters, and Star Wars. I love it. Come and help me. I'm an Obi-Wan. X-wing fighter and a blaster gun. X-wing beeps on. Slow and far. This is Spaceships, Monsters, and Star Wars. We love it. Ken, are you making burritos? I couldn't care less what you smell. I think it was wrong. Oh, maybe, maybe you find it back in your sunglasses. If you wish to molest your highness, you must molest first. If you want Santa to roll, nobody cares. If you want Santa to draw, you can tear your own little stockings. Nobody cares. I suggest a new strategy. Let the wool keep wriggling. That's because nobody cares if you want Santa to roll. Now let's go through 5 things one more season. One more season. One more season. What was it? Walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking, walking. Someone move this walking carpet, someone move this walking carpet, someone move this walking carpet, someone move this walking carpet. Kiss your brother, kiss your brother, kiss your brother. Do I get to know anything about my mother? Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? Boojo daddy, boojo daddy, boojo daddy. Luke, I'm your father. It is useless to resist. Come with me, my son. We will rule. Search your feelings, it is true. So you have a twin sister. Obi-Wan was wise.
I—
If you will not her, then perhaps she will. perform for you today. Our next number, we're going to go back to a Billy Joel classic, Uptown Girl. For this one, Brent, you have the lead on this one. Yeah, but you know I came late and I didn't warm up.
Don, I love Billy Joel. Can I do this one?
You want to sing Billy Joel?
Why not? I love Billy Joel. All right, okay, I think Billy Joel. All right, back her up.
Here we go.
in her white bread, white bread, as always, and not care. And now she's looking for her downtown man, downtown man, in the air. And when she knows what she wants with her taiyang, taiyang, when she wakes up and makes up her mind, mind, She's my uptown girl. She's my uptown girl. And you know I'm in love with my uptown girl. —great song that we love a lot. You know, next month we're coming up on the 241st birthday of our great nation, and it's up to us whether or not we get another 241 years, right? We would like you to join with us in honoring this nation. We are going to sing God Bless the USA.
That was a fantastic job. You guys did a wonderful job. Now this next song is going to make you very, very happy. Don, what are you doing? I'm speaking. I'm introducing the next song. It's going to make us all very, very happy.
What happened to your voice? This is— it's ridiculous. Oh, this is my happy voice.
This is my happy voice. Yeah, you will see. You'll see. Here we go. Here we go. Follow me. 1, 2, 3, 4. I like it. Here's a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it. Don't fall, don't— so don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy. Now, now and then you have some problem. When you worry, you make it double. Don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy. A dog's worth. Be happy. Don't worry, be happy now. Don't worry, be happy. Take it away.
You got no place to lay your head. Somebody came and took your bed. Don't worry, be happy. The landlord's there and he's late. He may have to litigate. Don't worry. Be happy. Look at me, I'm happy. Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style, ain't got no gal to make you smile. Don't worry, be happy, 'cause when you worry, your face will frown, and that will bring everybody down. Down. So don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy now.
Look at you, Andy, you hit the fourth! Be happy, don't worry, be happy now. Oh, so beautiful. Be happy, be happy! Ah, you went there. You look happy. You called me. I make you very happy. Very Don't worry, be happy now. Everybody sing along. Don't worry, be happy. One more time, here we go. I am happy because I am double parked. Who cares? You betcha, John did they!
I just have to say, I love coming to the Harriman Days Festival. This is the best place to be. I absolutely love Harriman and love the rides and love the Come on, come on, let's move it up. I'm getting there! I love the entertainment and the food. Who doesn't love the food?
I saw you eating some food, Don. Oh my gosh. Oh, that's gross.
Oh yeah, we should not bite it.
I had one too many stuffed jalapeños. You're never supposed to eat those. Don, can we just get on with the next song? I gotta get off the stage real fast. Please, please. 3, 4, 1. I fell into a ring of fire. I fell into a burning ring of fire and went down, down, down, and the flames ran higher. It burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire. The taste of love is sweet with hearts Like arson. I fell for you like a child. But the fire went wild. I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher. And it burns, burns, burns. The ring of fire. The ring of fire. I fell into a ring of fire. Went down, down, down in the flames. Went higher. It burns, burns, burns. The ring of fire. The ring of fire. The ring of fire. The ring of fire. Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for.
Oh, what do I stand for? What do I stand for? I don't know anymore. Oh, I, oh, I, this is yours, this is mine. I don't really know. I don't really know already. Tonight we are young, so let's set the world on fire. We can burn brighter than the stars. Don't stand alone, for you're sinking like a stone. Carry on.
