The video presents a staged musical excerpt from the Kinky Boots show, featuring two vocalists (Speaker A and Speaker B) who dramatize a scene in which Lauren, after receiving a promotion from Charlie, realizes she has a crush on him despite his engagement and her pattern of “wrong guys.” The lyrics oscillate between confession, self‑warning, and a catalog of past relationship archetypes, ultimately concluding with a resolve to stay single or remain friends. The piece blends narrative storytelling with musical theater conventions, using repeated refrains, character dialogue, and a meta‑commentary titled “The History of Romance” that lists stereotypical male flaws. The performance ends with a self‑identification as Charlie, underscoring the cyclical nature of the romantic dilemma.
Chapters
It plays right after Lauren tells Charlie her idea for the shoe company, and he tells her that he's giving her a promotion. She sees how kind and caring he is to her and realizes that she has a crush on him. She keeps trying to convince herself that it is a bad idea due to her awful history of wrong guys and the small fact that he is engaged. She insists that he will end up breaking her heart, just like all the past men in her life. In the end of the song, she has convinced herself that he is no good for her and that she doesn't need a man. Now please enjoy History of Wrong Guys.
Don't dare! Girl, girl, girl, I have warned you! I think I have a crush! I can't! I think I'm falling for him! Oh no! Why not? Women have been making bad choices since the beginning of time. Are you gonna be another one of mine? You used to think you were for my lost mate. I was just right, I'd die in your place. You're kind of cute when you're not so shy. But I've been here before, have I come back for more? Another chapter in the history of wrong guys. You used to be so— Hello, my customer. 'Cause now you're changing into someone I just can't ignore. Charlie, honestly, I've been hurt like this before. Is there really more to you than what I always thought? How can you surprise me anymore? Oh, oh, oh.
No!
He's got a girlfriend!
You wench!
Why are we only nice when they're in a band? But what if he and others come cross love for her? We all know how that ends. I'm better off without him. We're better off as friends. Oh no. But I've been here before. Have I been back for more? Another chapter in the history of wrong guys. Yesterday knows more. My heart is But today I'm feeling something I just can't ignore. Charlie, boy, this way. I've been hurt like this before.
Oh, oh, oh.
The History of Romance. Chapter 1: He's a bum. 2: He's not into you. 3: He's a sleaze. 4: Loves the girl next door. 5: Loves the boy next door, thinks he'll love you no more. Makes you insecure, makes you so unsure. Is so immature, loves his mother more. Or has a girlfriend named Miko.
I am Charlie.
Oh, this lioness, having heard my name speak up. I can see there's more to you than was my only thought, but I won't be hurt anymore. Ah, ah, ah, the history of Valentine's.
