Kate Sander and Luke Onslaught perform a comedic song from the Off-Broadway musical "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." Two characters on an awkward first date each fantasize about being the ideal partner while lamenting their own insecurities and physical flaws.
—A Good Night to You is a musical comedy with book and lyrics by Joe DiPietro and music by Jimmy Roberts. It's the second longest-running Off-Broadway musical. The musical was nominated for the Outer Critics Circle Award as Outstanding Off-Broadway Musical in 1997. This show is presented in the form of a series of vignettes connected by a central theme of love and relationships. The scenes stand independent of each other but progress in a fashion designed to suggest an overall theme: the idea of relationship throughout the course of one's life. The song "Stud and the Babe" is about an awkward first date, and the two characters tell about what the date would be like if they were a Stud in the Bay with Julie played by Kate Sander and Jason played by Luke Onslaught. Now please enjoy The Stud in the Bay.
Did I mention that I just had my bone fixed?
Really?
Yes. Oh, yep. Wow. Oh, I just remembered the cutest story.
I got my brother. What? No, maybe not. Oh, come on, come on.
Okay, my brother, this is really cute.
My brother, he has 11 toes. I sit here trying to impress and me is kind of struck, but every subject I address makes me sound like such a schmuck.
It's not that I can't be diverting, sometimes I can even— but I'd just be so much better at flirting if I only had more that kid is. If I were a stud.
If I were a bitty boy.
Kind of guy girls love.
The kind of girl Oh guys, crave! My chest would be rounder. My pecs would be stouter. My legs would be longer. My arms would be stronger. My head would be glowing. My chest hair would be showing. My hips would be slimmer. My butt would just sit in there. Oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna go back to kiss him.
Oh, oh, oh, she'll be begging me for more.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah, tonight I'm gonna use him to deny the news.
Poor child. I'll stir up a big stir. He'll break up. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
And I will run so truly.
Baby, baby, talk to me. Suey!
You, uh, you've got some nacho sauce on your face there. You wipe it to the other side. Now it's on your chin. Julie, be honest.
I don't have a lot of what you're looking for, do I?
No, no, it's me, Julie.
I'm not a stud.
Well, I'm not a billy.
I'm not a guy girls love.
Well, I'm not a girl guys crave. I'm awkward and whiny.
My biceps are tiny.
I'm not too athletic. My clothes are synthetic. My meals are all tuna. My hair is all blue dye.
My toes are all stumpy.
Well, I know you're bumpy.
Oh, oh, oh. Every night I'm all snoring.
Oh, oh, oh.
Yeah, my feet can really stink.
Oh, oh, oh. Yeah, I'm lonely and I'm boring. Well, let me buy you one more drink. Yeah! No good. No way. I love.
I crave.
