In this theatrical monologue, the speaker (Porter Bagley) urgently tries to convince a woman to elope with him to avoid her marriage to a judge. He repeatedly threatens to die by swallowing poison if she does not agree, emphasizing the need to marry immediately—preferably on Sunday or Saturday rather than waiting until Monday. The speech is filled with frantic repetitions, pleas for speed, references to playhouse bells, gates, and a chaotic emotional tone, illustrating his desperation and manipulative persuasion.
Chapters
by Porter Bagley. He's trying to convince her to elope with him to save her from marrying the judge. He means to marry me Monday. Until I do, I'd rather die. I'll swallow poison on Sunday. That's all due. I'll get my— poison— poison— PhD course before today's The one wasn't poised, wasn't fashionable, he wasn't pronounced. Oh, sir! Oh, sir! If he should marry me Monday, what shall I do? I'll die. 'Tis Friday, fortunately Sunday. What will we do with time? Oh, sir, quick, quick! I think I heard the playhouse bells. The gate is the gate, sir. The gate, the gate, the gate! Oh, my God! Of course? Yes, me. You're sure? Yes, me. I shall? Yes, me. Sir? We'd best not wait until Monday. Sir, I can't hurry. It isn't right. We'd best be married on Sunday. Saturday, sir, will also do. Or else, do you think, you're not— Like what? Never mind the noise. Never mind the noise. I mean, I suppose, which is really the case. Me. We'll go to Emerson one day. I dare you that. We'll plant a tree. Anthony! Anthony! Anthony! You'll marry Anthony Sunday, that's what you'll do no matter what. I'm your wife and you one day will be afraid that you were promised very, very close to marry me one day. You promised very, very close to marry me. I never will this!
