Urinetown: The Musical MDT 2017 (Color corrected and stablized)

Well, hello there and welcome to Urinetown. Not the place, of course, the musical. Urinetown the place is It is, well, it's a place you'll hear people referring to a lot throughout the show.

Did you hear the news? They carted old so-and-so off to Yorintown the other day.

Is that so? What'd he do?

Oh, such-and-such, I hear.

Well, what do you know? Old so-and-so. It's a kind of mythical place, you understand. A bad place. A place that you won't get to see until Act 2, and then, well, Let's just say it's filled with symbolism and things like that. But you're in town for the musical. Well, here we are. Welcome. The show takes place in a town like any town that you might find in a musical. This here is the first setting for the show. As the sign says, it's a public amenity, meaning public toilet. These people here have been waiting for hours to get in. It's the only amenity that they can afford to get into.

Say, Officer Lockstock, is this the part where you tell the audience about the water shortage?

What's that, Little Sally?

You know, the water shortage. The hard times, the drought, a shortage so awful that private toilets eventually became unthinkable. A problem so important—

Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Little Sally! Not all at once. They'll hear more about the water shortage in the next scene.

Oh, I guess you don't want to overload them with too much exposition, huh? Everything in its time, Little Sally.

You're too young to understand it now. But nothing can kill a show like too much exposition.

How about bad subject matter?

Well—

Or a bad title, even. That could kill a show pretty good.

Well, little Sally, suffice it to say that in your town, The Musical, everyone has to use public bathrooms to take care of their private business. That's the central conceit of the show. Better hope your pennies add up to the fee. We can't have you peeing for free. If you do, we'll catch you. We, we never fail, and we never bother with jail. You'll get your ins out. Off goes your ins out. Away with you, your ins out. You won't Me, failed. Later on you'll learn that these private toilets are controlled by a public company. They keep prices high generally, so if you're down on your luck, you have to come to a place like this. One of the poorest, filthiest urinals in town.

And you can't just go in the bushes either. There's laws against it.

That's right, Little Sally. Harsh laws too. That's why Little Sally here is counting her pennies. Isn't that so, Little Sally?

I'm very close, officer. Only a few pennies away.

Aren't we all, little Sally? Aren't we all? Excuse me, sir.

How can you tell me the way to the private company that controls these public bathrooms?

You mean You're in Good Company?

That's the one.

You'll meet the guy that runs You're in Good Company later. That there is his daughter. It's a long ways from here, ma'am. This here's the bad part of town.

So it is.

But if you squint, you can just make out their headquarters rising above the skyline.

The gleaming tower on the hill?

That's the one.

Gosh, it's beautiful.

You most certainly are.

Pardon?

It most certainly is.

Oh dear, well, I don't want to be late. Thanks ever so much for the directions and such. Bye.

Anytime. Well, we've talked on for long enough, I imagine. Enjoy the show, and welcome to Uritown: The Musical.

You are humble audience, you have come to See what it's like when people can't be people, can't be free, can't be free. First act, last act, and after class, and after class, don't assume you're fine. You're fine. Your best hope out there often is a line. Often is a line. You'll dance your own town. One best trick you'll dance your own town.

It's unisex and you're in town, all by design. It's the oldest story. Masses are oppressed.

Faces, clothes, and ladders all distressed. Rich folks get the good life.

Poor folks get the woe.

In the end, it's nothing you don't know. You're in, you're in town. Your ticket should say you're in town. Nobody wants this, you're in town. On with the show.

All right, folks, you know the drill.

Farm a line and have your money ready. Will not be repeating yesterday's fiasco. And that means you, On with the show! All right folks, you know the drill. Form a line and have your money ready. We'll not be repeating yesterday's fiasco, and that means you Mr. Strong. 496, 497, just a few more. Penny for a pea, sir? Please, sir, spare a penny for a morning pea, sir? What's that? Or a nickel? Or a dime?

Out of my way, child. I have the eating of my own to attend to.

Come on.

I haven't got it.

Then go get it.

Come on, Penny, I'm good for it.

That's what you said last weekend. I still haven't seen penny one. Miss Pennywise to you.

Bobby, Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this month. No shorter than yesterday. Unless I've grown. He's my promise, Pennywise. Can he come in for free just this once?

Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong. No one gets in for free.

No, Miss Pennywise, we've all had to make our special arrangements with people in high places over the years. Why not let this one be ours?

If old man Strong gets in for free, then so do I. And I.

And I.

And I.

Quiet!

No one's getting anywhere for free! Don't you people think I have bills of my own to pay? Don't you think I have taxes and tariffs and payoffs to meet too? Well, I do. And I don't pay them in promises, see. I pay them in cash. Cold, hard cash. Every morning you all come here, and every morning some of ya got reasons why ya ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell ya, ya is gonna pay! But Miss Pennywise— No buts, Bobby! I mean, what difference would it make? What difference? Times are hard, our cash is tight, you've got no rights, I've heard it all before. See, just this once, once too much, I must say once still, what I want's once more. I run the only toilet in this part of town, you see. So if you've gotta go, you've got to go through me. It's a privilege to pee. Water's worth its weight in gold these days. No more bathrooms like in olden days. You come here and pay a fee for the privilege to pee. 20 years we've had the drought and our reservoirs have all dried up. I take my bath now in a coffee cup. I boil what's left of it for tea, and it's a frilly ablaze. The politicians in their wisdom saw that there should be a law. The politicians taxed the toilet and made illegal public urination and defecation. So come and get a coin today, write your name here in the record book. The authorities will want to know if you've been regular with me, if you've paid our bills. For the privilege to pee. I said no what, Bobby? You're a sweet-looking boy and I like to keep you around, but this man ain't coming in without paying. Not this time. I can't hold much longer, Bobby.

Then don't tell him what I might do.

You think you've got some kind of right. Kind of right. Kind of right. You think you'll come in here and go for free. Snag a freebie. The only thing you'll get is no for free. Get a story. Miss Miss Gal, you see, myself a privilege to live. The good Lord made us, so we take each day until we pass away. The good Lord made sure that what goes in men must soon come out again. So we are no different than Rob lowly me.

Bob, explain what you want.

Slowly me, slowly me. And I think I'll charge you twice.

Don't need to jeopardize our position.

Or better yet, have you arrested.

Oh no, this is it!

Since you prefer the law gets tested.

Slowly charged 3 times a day.

And in your own town you'll see. Threatened with a knife 3 times a time. Why it's dumb to fight with me. For the privilege to pay. What's he doing there? He's going right down the pavement, he is! If he's going, then I'm going! Everybody out of the way!

Make way, man!

You make way!

That's better.

Joe, if it ain't old man Strong!

The same. Is this your doing, Strong? It is. Seat him! You've done a terrible thing here today, Strong. I did what I thought was necessary.

Help him up, Bobby! Never thought I'd live to see the day.

Breaking the Public Health Act is an exiling offense, Strong.

Why is it exiling?

What if it is? I feel better now, and that's all I care about. Oh, Pa, I always knew we'd get you in the end, Joseph Strong. Take him away! Bobby! Pa! Remember me, boy!

I will, Pa!

And tell your mother, tell your mother that I love her! I will, Pa, I will! Remember me, boys! Oh, what have I done?

Remember me!

Remember Bobby, what became of him. Remember how he indulged the whim. Remember how he made a mockery. He shunned the crockery, off to the dockery. Don't be like him. What became of him? What do you mean by that? Just keep your head out of the clouds, that's all I'm saying. Good day.

All right, who's next? It's my last few dollars, but I'll pay.

Me too.

Me too. I'll pay, always and forever, just so long as you keep letting us pay.

Oh, Pa, what's to become of you?

Back to work then, Bobby. The morning rushes on.

Where's my dough? Isn't that what we're all asking ourselves, Senator? Where's my dough? From the cop walking his beat to the little baby asleep in his mother's arms, we're all asking ourselves the same question: where's my dough? And by dough, of course, I mean money.

I made my speech.

Where's my dough? There'll be plenty of dough for everyone, Senator. Provided the new fee hike breezes through the legislature. I was hoping to wait for the vote during my latest fact-finding mission to Rio. Wouldn't want to be around once the new fee hike springs through. You think I've gone too far this time, don't you, Phil? Oh, it's up for our gang out there, pal. And by this time, I think it's gonna— Daddy!

What?

Hope! Thank goodness you finally made it.

Sorry, Daddy. I left just as soon as my exams were finished.

How's everything, dear?

Oh, fine, Daddy, just fine. It feels great to be done with school finally.

You see there, Mr. McQueen, beautiful, big-hearted, and now the head filled with the best stuff money can buy.

Well, if the stuff in her head is nearly as big as the stuff in her heart, I'm sure she'll be running this company in no time. That's enough.

Mr. McQueen.

Yes, of course.

Well, I'll be. Hope Gladwell, and all grown up too.

Hello, Senator.

Come to join your father's little operation?

Ah, it's just a fax copy position, of course. First day.

Fax copy girl, huh? Well, they thought they mentioned he was bringing on a fax copy girl, but he neglected, however, to mention how beautiful she'd be. You'd be? You're so beautiful. That's enough, Fip. Well, we won't keep you, Senator. It's a big day. I'm sure you'll have your hands full on the floor of the legislature, what with the new fee hike vote and all. Oh, the vote will come through, Cladwell, and by this time tomorrow I fully expect them to be full of cash. Oh, well, I'll be full of cash, Senator, provided the vote comes through. Oh, the vote will come through, Cladwell. It'll come through as long as you come through with the cash. No worries there, Senator. Once the vote comes through, there'll be nothing else come through but cash. No need to worry. Biff, I think we understand each other. Yes. Well, goodbye. Let's meet the staff.

Staff!

Staff, this here is my daughter and our newest fax copy girl, Hope Cladwell. Hope Cladwell, the good people of Yurika Pumpkins. Or UGC, as it's known for short.

Hello everybody! Hello Hope!

Say a few words, Hope darling.

Oh, um, well, it's a great company and I hope to help you make it even greater.

Well, that's absolutely right, Hope dear, absolutely right. For you see, ladies and gentlemen, 20 years ago we came to the people of this community with a simple proposition: look the other way while we run this company the way we see fit. To keep the pee off the streets and the water in the ground. And Hope here has come to join our little operation to help us keep that promise. So promise me you'll treat her like the cladwell she is. For one day she may be standing in the shoes you see me wearing today. The very shoes I wore when I made that promise those many years ago.

I saw gray skies were molding and old.

I saw gray skies were molding and old. Skies and made them rain gold. Now those skies are so bleak to behold. They're still gray, but they pay for their salaries tenfold. I took this town as far as Lee's Stake. I took this town and made its bells sway. I made Flushing meet Flush at the bay. I'm the man with with a plan, and so who should you thank?

Who? Mr. Gladwell! We're so thankful for that big bowl of dough. Your laboratory outdoor and its castor dew lore. Could we hope for much more? We really doubt it.

You may be right there.

Mr. Gladwell, you got riches Which is just what we need. We say hail to you, the Duke of the Duckets.

I can bring in bucks by the bucket.

You're done faster, you're making money.

Faster still than bees making honey.

You're Mr. Gladwell. Gosh, Daddy, I never realized that large monopolizing corporations could be such a force for good in the world. Few do. That we take from the poor. And dump here where those coins all belong. Who wants some coins? Make our company strong.

Charging fees as we please, it's alright, it's not wrong.

We're not greedy, we're sorry to seem. We need funds for our big research team.

Men with lab coats, with test tubes in steam. What it shows, no one knows, but hey, still we can dream of Mr.

Gladwell finding answers, curing cancers of doubt. Your ambitions are high, but you're a plus one.

What a wonderful guy, we simply love you.

You're making me blush now. Mr. Gladwell, you're so godly, oddly perfect and right. You are honest and gentle yet unpretentious, fancy-free and self-conscious, wise but friendly, tough as a mountain. Goodness flows from you like a fountain.

You're Mr.—

You're Mr.—

Gladwell!

Gladwell! Oh, Stabby, they certainly do seem to adore you. So why do I feel so conflicted?

Nonsense! Did I send you to the most expensive university in the world to feel conflicted, or how to manipulate great masses of people?

To learn how to manipulate great masses of people, Daddy.

Which is exactly what we'll do.

Now get faxing. And copying. And welcome home. 537, 538, just a few more.

Well, hello there, little Sally. Awfully late for a little girl to be out and about, especially on a night like tonight.

Oh, just trying to scrape together a few coins before late night rushes on. Goblin despair?

Sure, Little Sally, I'm in a good mood tonight.

Gee, thanks. Say, Officer Lockstock, I was thinking, we don't spend much time on hydraulics, do we?

Hydraulics, Little Sally?

You know, hydraulics, hydration, irrigation, or just plain old laundry. Seems to me with all this talk on water Water shortage and drought and whatnot. We might spend some time on those things too. After all, a dry spell would affect hydraulics too, you know.

Yes, let's see, how shall I put it? Sometimes in a musical, it's better to focus on one big thing rather than a lot of little things. The audience tends to be much happier that way, and it's easier to write.

Oh, I get it. Then why not hydraulics?

Well, run along then, little Sally. Wouldn't want you to miss last call. Miss Pennywise won't hold the gate forever, you know.

Oh yeah, right. Thanks for the coin. Bye. What a night.

Everything cleaned up all right, Miss Barrow?

Sure is, same as always. Did you hear him scream though, Mr. Lockstock?

Old Man Strong?

All the way down to here in town.

Well, yes, I heard him scream. Miss Beryl. But then, they all seem to scream in the end now, don't they? As their long journey into exile comes to a close and the spires of Uren Town peek above the horizon. They do scream then, Miss Beryl. They most certainly do.

I was hoping he might be different somehow.

Different?

Old Man Strong always seemed a bit tougher than the rest. I don't know, surprise us somehow.

Yes, well, if there's one thing I've learned in my many years enforcing the laws in this city, it's that the journey down to Euratown offers no surprises, not even from the very toughest among us. No, on that journey, expect only the expected. Well, it's a hard, cold tumble of a journey worthy of a gurney, a bumble down, a slap in the face, smack With a maze, certain to the base, or stumble down. It's a path that leads to only one place, or which you can trace or crumble down. A hard cold tumble of a tourney, jumble of a journey to your hometown.

To be Gastly G, wait till he hid behind a tree.

Thought there was no one who could see or read but me.

And take out a rose in blue. Thought he would say something he's true. Didn't know the jaws he kept up there would offer you a trip to Irwin too! Hahaha!

What are those who think their mother's vicious?

Overly malicious.

A bunch of fruit martweaks who gather for the people.

Tavern in the steeple.

Rob fruits. Hard task to bring a little order.

Swindle out of order.

For what he loots, as the book says, certainly he'll seize him.

Tremble out of treason. Hop out boots. Roger Roosevelt kept a cup below his belt. Cup ran over when he yelped. Spout. We dealt and chose good old man Tom. Held his people much too long. Called his son Michael in Athens. Guess was good but also wrong.

Well, years passed on. Then the truck was scooping out a bunker. Nature's bow, the knife. Up goes the deprivation. Certain aggravation took its toll. Soon learned power of the truck should organize a function. King to pawn. So if peace is what you're after, you're in town's the rafter to hang it all.

Off you go then, boys, and happy hunting.

Yes.

Well, have you made plans for your journey yet?

Off you go then, boys, and happy hunting.

Yes, well, have you made plans for your journey yet? To Rio, of course.

Oh, yes, Rio. We'll have to squeeze Gladwell a little tighter than usual for our monthly payouts, extortion fees, money bribes and such, but—

Caution, Mr. Lockstock, but it would appear we are no longer alone.

Well, I'll be.

If I am not mistaken, that there is his daughter.

So it is, and all grown up too. Miss Gladwell! Out on a little bit late, don't you think?

Oh, hello officers!

Hmm, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were on a late night behind the bushes to relieve yourself for free, kind of a woman.

Oh no, officers, I'm just coming home from work. First day, long hours.

Just like us.

Oh, there's some kind of big vote down at the legislature tonight. Plenty of faxing to do. Hand copying, I'd imagine. Oh yes, hand copying.

Well, I must say, Miss Gladwell, your father mentioned the size and purity of your heart. He neglected, however, to mention the size and purity of your beauty.

Does beauty have a size, officer?

In some countries. I take care on these streets late at night, Miss Gladwell. There's no telling what a few people wouldn't do for some coins.

Especially these days. What was the new fee hike, Snow? Oh, I'm not afraid of people, officers.

Oh no?

Not really. Everyone has a heart, you see. And as long as you know that, you need never fear a soul.

Everyone?

Everyone! Even criminals? Even criminals!

Even policemen?

Whoa! Bobby Strong!

You're out a little late, Cookie Bean. Out late taking care of another late night rush is all. I was talking more fee hikes. People are starting to get edgy. I'm glad to hear you were otherwise engaged. Wouldn't want to put you under suspicion for taking a late night behind the bushes. I don't need to do that anymore, officers. Not while I work for Penny, I don't.

But you still need to keep your head out of the clouds now, don't you?

And what does that mean? What she means is you're a good boy, Bobby Strong. See that you don't end up like your father.

And how did my father end up?

Well, we're off. Our work's never done.

Good night. Good night, officers. Good night, Bobby. You were rather brave with them.

I don't care much for policemen. Not those two, anyway.

Policemen protect the peace.

Do they?

Usually.

Didn't I see you down by the amenity this morning?

That was me. I was just rushing off to work. First day.

Find your way all right?

The gleaming tower on the hill. Couldn't miss it.

Beautiful.

It's rather shiny, that's true enough.

Did you mean what you said? About everyone having a heart?

Well, sure I did.

Because mine feels awful cold just now.

Cold?

Or empty. One of the two.

Not because of me, I hope.

Oh no, it's because of something I did. Bobby, Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning.

No shorter than yesterday, unless I've grown.

Or something I didn't do, rather.

If it feels cold, then it must it would still be there, don't you think?

Unless there's a vacuum where it used to be.

A vacuum? In your chest? It sounds so implausible.

I did something wrong is all I'm trying to say. I can't seem to get it out of my head.

The vacuum?

My action. I let someone down that I love dearly, and I feel awful bad about it.

Well, maybe that's nature's way of telling you that Now's the time to lift someone up.

Really?

Sure. Do you think you'd be feeling as bad as you do if you didn't have a heart?

I don't know. I suppose not.

Of course you wouldn't, because then you'd be dead. Follow my heart?

But to where?

To wherever your heart tells you to go.

Even there?

Even to the clouds if that's what your heart What's it saying now?

I don't know. I don't know how to listen to my heart.

You have to listen carefully. Let me try.

Do you—

Shh! There it is. It's saying— We all want a world filled with peace and with joy, with plenty of water for each girl and boy. That bright, shiny world is just waiting to start. No meanness or sorrow, just cleanest tomorrow. If only you'd follow your heart. You see there, Bobby? Even your heart knows you should follow your heart.

Peace and joy, plenty of water. I guess I do want those things.

There's something else your heart was saying. Maybe something I shouldn't have heard.

There was?

I think so. It was barely audible, but I definitely heard something.

Well, what was it?

Let me try again. Maybe I can make it out this time. There it is. So faint. It's saying, "Follow into the open air, for it thrums color and noise. Follow, someone is waiting." Someone who shares all your hopes and your joys. Someone is waiting there. Why, my heart was saying those exact words just the other day.

It was?

Sure it was. Squalor and noise, hopes and joys. It was telling me about all those things. I didn't know —two hearts can speak as one. I didn't either until now. Here, listen.

Someday I'll meet someone whose heart joins with mine, aortas and arteries all intertwined. They'll beat so much stronger than they could 8 chambers of muscle to hustle the love in our heart.

Love is kind and considerate. Love is peaceful and fair.

Love can creep up so suddenly. <LYRICS>When you least think of it, your love is there. We all want a world filled with peace and with joy, with plenty of justice for each girl and boy. That bright, shiny world is just waiting to start.

No anger or badness.</LYRICS> just laughter and gladness. If only I follow your heart. Well, good night, Bobby. Good night, Bobby Strong.

And good night. Hope. Good night, Hope. I won't forget about what you said, about the clouds in my heart.

And I won't forget about what you said about the laughter and the gladness. Wait a minute. When will I see you again?

I'm afraid in this darkness you can't see me at all. But a bright, shining new world is just waiting to start. I can feel it. Come to public amenity number 9 tomorrow. I'll show it to you. She calls him Dr.

John Sherlock Sock. Of course she does, little Sally.

He's the hero of the show.

She has to. Everybody loves Bobby Strong. What's it like, Officer Lockstock?

What's what like, little Sally? You're in town. Oh, I can't tell you that, little Sally.

Why not?

Well, because it's a secret, that's why. Its power depends on mystery. I can't just blurt it out. Out like, "There is no urine town! We just kill people!" Oh no. No, that information must be oozed out slowly until it all bursts forth in one mighty cathartic moment somewhere in Act 2 with people singing and things like that. Oh, I get it.

Well, I'd best be going.

It's almost time for the next scene.

The next morning at the Amenity Building in Beehive, pronounced That's the one. See you around there, Sally. Keep your head down. And so with this piece of paper, the UGC awards amenity number 9 on the first of our new and entirely legal V-Hypes, which we hope you will all honor and enjoy. Hype! Hype! Hype! Of course, no one knows better than the good people at You're in Good Company how difficult times are. So, for the time being, our decision is firmed, and we look forward to going to Rio with our new profits. I mean, we look forward to finding lasting solutions and things like that. Good luck, Miss Pennywise. See you in—

well, you know where. You can't do this to us, Miss Pennywise. It'll be up to your town for a lot of us sooner or later if you do.

And it'll be up to your town for me if I don't. Now get in line and have your money ready. The new fee hike money, that is. Miss Pennywise! Bobby Strong, where the hell have you been?

I'm sorry, Miss Pennywise. I was up all night thinking, is all.

Up all night thinking, is it? You work for me now, Bobby. You don't have to go in the bushes anymore.

Like father, like son, that's what I say. But it was about my father that I was thinking about, Miss Pennywise. About what happened to him. About what's happening to all of us.

He broke the law yesterday, Bobby.

That's the end And what if the law is wrong? What did you say? I said, what if the law is wrong?

What if this is all wrong? Bobby, you got a sweet-looking head, a sweet-looking head. But you keep it up there in the clouds day after day after day, and it's gotta come down from there. You hear me, Bobby Strong? Get that head out of the clouds! You get it out of the clouds!

In the distance there's a beautiful horizon. All right folks, you know the drill. Gleaming and radiant, it's what I'll keep my eyes on. The same as it's always been. As the world turns to face the sun and start another day, it suddenly occurs to me that maybe we can find a way. Look at The sky full of hope and promise. It's a shining ideal, how I feel when I look at the sky.

Now who's first? I am! Mom? I'll take your seat now, Mrs.

Crossley. Daily we break a rule because we have to follow orders.

This is all that happens when you don't listen.

And we keep filling money bags with broken lives and dreams. But once before, I can't ignore these black immoral profit-making schemes. Look at the sky, high above this madness. Here below, feel ashamed It must stop in the name of the sky.

This is all I have, Bobby. Is it enough? You hold on to your money, Ma. Really? The fee is law, Bobby Strong. She'll abide by it or she'll join her husband.

And what if there's a new law, Thomas Pennywise? A new law that didn't come from any voting process or elected body or process of judicial review? New lawn. It came from an organ. That's right, a muscular blood-pumping organ like this one right here.

A muscular organ?

Well, can't you see, Miss Pennywise? Well, if this one's too small for you, why not try this one on for size?

It's blinding me!

Look at the sky, there's a great big heart There's a heart in the sky, there just is. Don't ask why, it's the sky.

Bobby, don't do this, you'll regret it.

Oh, I don't think so. Come on, Ma, this one's on the house for everyone. Forever!

Your heart knows all things the face can't show.

The things their brains can never know.

Your heart points the way. Into the great big blue where the people's allegiance must go. Topular! Look at the sky! At the sky!

Starry, starry shore. Look at the sky!

We try, we begin when we look at the sky. What's to become of you, Bobby? What's to become of us all? O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming? In the sky! In the sky!

You'll be off to Rio then, I imagine. Already got my tickets. Good work on the floor of the legislature, Phipp. I heard it was touch and go there for a while. Well, your beats of brio slideshow changed their minds soon enough. Just like you changed my mind those many years ago. God, I wish I never met you, Caldwell B. Clatwell. Sorry to interrupt, Daddy.

I just wanted to make sure you got your morning faxes.

Why, Hope, you're absolutely glowing. It seems that the Oxford disgraced with her? What with the vaccine and all. And the copying. Oh yes, the copying. You're a good girl, Hope Cladwell. I used to be one before I met your father. A good girl? You heard me.

Daddy, can I ask you a question?

Sure, Hope, what is it?

Do you believe in love? Love? Why do you ask? Oh, it's his nappy night. I met this boy, you see. Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Papa. We've got a small problem. Caldwell! Long time no see! Miss Pennywise. Anyway, it's about room number 9, sir. The people there have rioted. Rioted? They're peeing for free, Caldwell.

I tried to stop them. The assistant custodian there is refusing to take the people's money, sir. A young man by the name of Bobby Strong.

Bobby Strong?

Under the Public Health Act, sir. And the Water Preservation Act. Can they do that? Strictly symbolic. The crowd gathered there is a distinctly small percentage of the population as a whole.

But what's happening, Daddy? I don't understand.

I wouldn't expect a good and pure heart like yours to understand, Hope. Miss Verrill and I are ready, Mr. Cladwell. Just give us the word. Huh! Well, what did I tell you, Cladwell? It's a powder keg out there. Now, I have a very important— plane to catch. As if you're not going anywhere. Not until we nip this unpleasantness in the bud. Nip? How so? You're a Gladwell, Hope. What would you do if the very foundation of your life's work were threatened by a rubber-rousing son of a convicted criminal?

I would look deep into his heart and find out what made it pound so angrily.

Angry, you say? No one gets angry with me, not without a beating.

A beating? Oh, Daddy, beating people is wrong.

Life is a beating. The sooner you learn that, the better. Well then, life is wrong. Life is many things. Look closely, Hope. You'll see it. I do. I see it everywhere. A little bunny in a meadow. He's nibbling grass without a care. He's so delightful as he hops. You say, "Hi, bunny," and he stops for you.

You pull your trigger and he drops for you.

Let's try, "Hello, rabbit stew." Get me, boys!

You tell 'em, boss!

Don't be the bunny, don't be the stew, don't be the dinner, you have better things to do. It ain't no joke, that's why it's funny.

Don't be the bunny. Don't be the bunny. But Daddy, we're talking about people, not animals.

People are animals, Hope, dear.

Animals with huge incisors and big floppy feet?

Look closely, Hope. You'll see them. I do. I see them everywhere. A little bunny had a tall boot. He needs a measly 50 cents. Our bunny didn't plan it. Poor bunny simply doesn't have the grit. He begs for mercy but gets jailed instead. The stink factor's in the air as the rabbit gets the chair. Get the message, staff? Clear as day, boss! Don't be the bunny. Don't be the dope. Don't be the loser. You're much better than that. You're born with power, you're in the money.

Advice to you: angry the bunny, don't be the bunny. The bunny at a toll booth?

You heard me.

Daddy, bunnies don't drive cars. Don't they?

No, actually, I don't think they do. Live long enough, Hope dear, you'll see many things.

Is it a son and daughter doubting their father?

A little bunny in a shoebox. He thinks he's found brand new home. So snug and cozy on your closet door. And then you open up your closet door. Now what's that bunny in my closet for? With a mallet and some clippers, you find out no bunny slippers. See the moral, people?

I will right behind you, boss. Don't be the bunny, don't be the shoe. You don't get stepped on, the one who steps is you.

You're stepping up, so wear it sunny.

Step on the floor, don't be the bunny, don't be the bunny. What?

All right, everybody, get yourselves together. It's time we nabbed ourselves a few rabbits. Let's go!

One at a time, one at a time.

Everyone will get a turn. Here's some cat coffee just for you. You hold on to your money, friend, and relieve yourself in happiness. A busy day so far.

Busiest on record if the books are right. How's the urinal holding out?

A little spillage, but nothing to be concerned about. The people are happy. That's all that matters.

Police! Run!

It'll take a lot of explaining to keep us calm, Bobby Strong. We take control of these amenity officers. The people here pee for free. That's my amenity officers. I want these people taken away.

Officer, officer, what's happening?

Why, it's the Act 1 finale, little Sally. This is where Clytemnestra arrives to snuff out the uprising. It's a big song and dance number involving the entire cast.

Snuff out the uprising? But what about Bobby's dream?

Oh, little Sally, dreams only come true in happy musicals and a few Hollywood movies. This certainly isn't either one of those. No, dreams exist to be crushed. It's nature's way.

This may not be a happy musical, Officer Lockstock, but it's still a musical. And when a little girl has been given as many lines as I have, there's still hope for dreams. Bobby? What are you doing, Bobby? I told you to follow your heart, not season amenity. I did follow my heart, Hope, thanks to you. The amenity won't take much more of this uprising, Gladwell. Bobby's a sweet boy, but not sweet enough to sweeten that village, not by a long shot.

The amenity will take as much as it has to, Miss Pennywise. The days of deprivation for these people are over. Yay! Oh, the days of deprivation have just begun in this maniacal village. Unless this continues a moment longer. Boo! Boo! Sure, Mr. Gladwell, that's what you've been saying for 20 years. And for 20 years we've waited for the long-term solutions that never came. Well, we're done waiting, you see. For a new day has dawned today. A day of hope and happiness. A day when the idea of human dignity is not a forgotten notion, but a living, breathing reality. A day, this day, —when the people pee for free, 'cause the people are free! Hooray! Free people are free, how can a fee enslave us? See how can we be free from the chains he gave us? We're suffering now, such lies of sorrow. Don't give us tomorrow, just give us today.

Free people are free, how can a fee enslave us? See how we can be Free from the chains he gave us. We're suffering now such lies of sorrow.

Don't give us tomorrow, just give us today. From every hill, every steeple, ring out the anthem of the people making a new way, breaking themselves afraid to see the light.

Sing up today! Sing up today! Sing up today! Sing today! Sing today! Sing today! Perhaps best to stay back here by your father, little darling. The police will want to charge you. Your father? Charge? Daddy, he will leave understanding not for talent.

On the contrary, Hope dear, a little police brutality is exactly what these people need. Officer Lockstock!

Oh, Daddy, wait! He only wants the people to be happy. Isn't that worth something? Happy, you say?

Happy? So you want happy, Mr. Small?

Did you say happy, Mr. Small?

If living will be for free, I'll be as happy as a pig. With no rules and no worries, today things could be But too bad we watch and have to share, we're caged inside our home. What a tomorrow, Mr. Strong. I want it today, I want it tomorrow, Mr. Strong. I want it tomorrow, Mr. Strong. Our resources are as fragile as a newborn baby's soul. With your actions, you would rob a child a day of a life as full. Maybe to me you're so short-sighted, so insensitive, so cold.

What a tomorrow, Mr. Strong. I want it today!

You are wrong, Mr.

Strong.

You and your socialistic wrong. If the people eat for free, they'll push the system to the brink.

If today this meal is jealous, how tomorrow will not speak. It's you and me now, Mr.

Strong, which one of us will live to see? If you, Mr. Strong, were on the subject of tomorrow, you are wrong. After Larsdot prepare your drink. Man! Everybody, into the amenity. We'll be relatively safer in there.

Bobby! Why didn't you tell me you were going to start a revolution?

Maybe for the same reason you didn't tell me you were a Gladwell.

I'm not the same girl I was last night.

The girl last night would have joined us by now, Hope.

I can't fight against my father, Bobby.

And I cannot fight against him. So you can join us, or you can stand aside. Stand aside? You heard me. Bobby, I think you're standing on the brink.

You'll be arrested.

Said to follow your heart, here's where my heart leads. Now I'll do my part to banish all these. You made me to see fantastically clear when people We've nothing to fear. Your words were lies, see. At first they seemed hard.

They ruined her dreams.

They tried and saw a child. Save today, not tomorrow.

And a life of sorrow. Today. Today. Save today. This is a fight you cannot win, Mr.

Strong. Your rabble is no match for my men.

Oh, Bobby, he's right. They've got one, two, two men, and we're all so poor. Release the girl, Bobby Strong, and face your punishment like a man.

Release? No one's holding— Bobby, Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning. No shorter than yesterday at the side throw.

Well, you can punish our bodies, Mr. Clemens, but you can't punish our souls. Punish our bodies!

I never agreed to any punishment on my body!

Oh, punishment is all you'll ever know! Now release the girl! So what will it be, Bobby?

Looks like we're in a real tight spot now, doesn't it?

Your fellow revolutionaries seem to think so. I suppose we should leave. Oh Bobby, tell everyone to leave now!

Remember me, boys! Oh, what have I done? Remember me! Not without you they won't, which is why you're coming with us.

I told you, Bobby, I won't fight against my father. And I told you I won't not fight against How can I quit you and not fight against my father unless—

unless— Oh, Bobby!

Oh, Bobby, no! Stay inside today.

Stay inside today. Stay your place. Stay your place.

Stay your place.

Keep your men back, Gladwell. We've got your daughter and we're not letting her go.

In the name of this God, you're coming with us.

And we're gonna walk out of here, Mr. Gladwell, and you're gonna let us. That is, if you care about your daughter. You're making a terrible mistake, Mr. Strong.

Bobby, let the girl go! She's got nothing to do with this.

Don't let her go and follow me! Boss, what do we do? Save them!

No! Don't let them get away!

Help me! Help her!

Now run, everybody! Run for your lives! Run!

Well, that's it for Act 1. As you can see, the Rebel Corps are making their getaway with Homer as their hostage. The rest of us have been thrown into confusion because— well, because we're all moving so damn slowly. So we don't get to catch them, not yet. Enjoy your tradition.

We'll see you in a short bit of time.

Well, hello there and welcome to Act 2. A few things have changed around here. Since we saw each other last, so I'll bring you up to speed on a few things. As you may remember, the Rebel Corps under Bobby's leadership took Hope as a hostage, using her as a shield to escape due punishment from my— man. Word has it they're holed up in some sort of secret hideout somewhere. Could even be this one, right here.

Where is Bobby and Olga Strong and Little Sally? They should have been back by now! Who are we kidding?

The police probably nabbed them hours ago.

It's only a matter of time before our whereabouts are tortured out of them. What's it like, do you think?

You're in town? Don't even ask. No one knows for sure.

I've got my suspicions. Sure, kid, everyone's got their suspicions. Oh yeah?

What if you're in town?

If you're in town, it's the end. So make that brutal punishment no need now. To pretend that time was stronger than your hunger when they cut you down. They'll box you up and ship you out to College-Horintown. They'll box you up and ship you out to College-Horintown, town, town, town, town. Dance?

No, never do they dance. Those people down in Horintown, they never get the chance.

Dancing for them is never not a nope unless it's at the bottom of a rope.

So don't get your hopes up.

If they're not back soon, we give it to her, like they're gonna give it to us.

Well, people hear lots of things about Eurontown, of course, and that's just the way we like it. For example, a little boy once asked me, "Is Eurontown actually a nice place to live? Gingerbread houses along golden, froggy canals? Like Venice, only different?" I didn't say yes. Didn't say no either. I want them found, damn it! I want my daughter released and I want Bobby Strong punished! Sir, we're working around the clock, but as the sign says, it's a secret hideout, so— Enough of your excuses, Lockstock! You've got weapons, use them! But sir! What is your in town? Your in town's a tool, an instrument of power to enforce my iron rule. So send your troops to all the stoops and let them understand. If hope is not returned, it's urine time for all the land.

If hope is not returned, it's urine time for all the land, land, land, land, land.

Dance, dance. Never will I dance. Those people with my daughter wanna make me teach my stance. Stance, stance. Forget it. Never not a line. I'll teach them not to take from me what's mine.

We should hurry, sir.

The emergency planning board is waiting. Oh yes, the board.

Let's go. Close one, Robbie. I thought Barrow saw us there for sure.

We'll have to keep on our toes, Ma, at least until we've distributed the rest of these memos to the other assistant custodians in the city.

Do you think they'll join us?

Hard to say. They were scared like we used to be scared, but if what they say is true about everyone having heart They'll have to join us. What is urine town? Urine town's a lie, a means to keep the poor in check until the day they die. I did not shirk their dirty work, but things are different now. We'll fight for rights with all our might until we win somehow. We'll fight for rights with all our might until we win somehow. How? How? How? How? Dance on, dance on, listen to me dance on. My heart is like a stallion racing through a great expanse, canyons of freedom. That's where it belongs, performing coronaries, somersaults.

Your heart is like a stallion?

I'll explain along the way.

Come on, Ma, let's go. Where are they hiding you, Sally?

Tell me and I'll see that things go easy on you.

Easy on me? You mean like sending me to the nice part of your own town?

That can be arranged.

Save it for one of your other stony lobster walks, Doc. My heart's with the rebellion. And besides, the way I see it, I'm already in Urimtown. We all are. Even you. Me? In Urimtown?

Sure.

The way I see it, Urimtown isn't so much a place as it is a metaphysical place. What is Urimtown? You're in Town Is Here. It's the town where ever people learn to live in fear. So look around, you finally found the place you've asked about. For You're In Town Is Your Town If You're Homeless, Down and Out.

For You're In Town Is Your Town If your hope is down and out, for your town is your town. If your hope is down and out, Where'd she go? Damn it! Welcome back to the show and enjoy! What's left of it, indeed. Little Sally, Little Sally, where are you?

What do you mean by metaphysical? Did she get the rope? 3, 2, 1, get over the— Let me out of— Going all over the place. Help you, baby. I hear the tower's off. Mad Bell, Mad Smith, Mad Miss Pennywise, they was all meeting up there. Some kind of— I don't know what you want to call it. A quarrel. Of some kind. That's it, shake it up! Wait a minute, you can't just give her the rope! Why not? Because killing her would make us no better than them. Haven't you heard, little Sally? We are no better than them. In fact, we're worse. Worse? What do you think we talk about those quorums they got up there, how good we are? So listen up now, when he says those quorums are gonna bust in here, they bust us up like a bunch of overripe cantaloupes.

So I say if our juice is gonna spill all over this floor here, her juice is gonna spill too.

Gladwell juice, then we'll see who's better than who. Look at her there, all bowed down, gagged and tied with our juice. A head full of hair and a heart full of pride. But boys, I've had enough of beatin' and curlin' curl, beat-bang-boom, lefty-top, play it rough, snuff the girl. Snuff that girl? But killing people is wrong. Then why feel so right? Look at us here in a hole on the land. With our hearts full of fear, what a rip, what a shame. The cops will be here, wasn't it mighty quick? But we'll beat them to the punch when we stomp out that chick. They got close, so they sang to the tree. Looky here, here's an acorn plant that I see. I say she is a nut, and of course with a swirl, she is likely safe for winter. So let's help that girl. A big bang! A big bang! A big bang boom! Boom boom! Yeah! This is the end, roll the dice, place your bets. In this miserable world, that's as good as it gets. So now let's live it up, feed the oysters and the pearl, and let's get this party jumping.

Let's bring our message of hatred to the entire world! A message like this works best under extremely unbalanced circumstances.

Such as we have right here?

Exactly! Now get the rope! That's right, the rope! That's the answer!

String her up! String up that strumpet daughter of the Earl! Chain her to a flagpole! Kill her! Hang her!

What? Bobby's dog! Nobody's gonna be killing anyone around here!

Why not? Because she's our security blanket, that's why. But we're so afraid, Bobby! Killing her might make us feel more powerful for a moment.

Friends, I know you're scared, but this has got to be more than just revenge and the vicarious thrill of stringing someone up who can't defend herself.

But we want to hang her as revenge for her father's crimes. I think he's just in love with her.

That's what I think. Maybe I am. What? Maybe I made a promise up there. A promise that from this day forward, no man would be denied his essential humanity due to the conditions of his pocketbook. That no man would be ignored or by another with the means to help him. Here and now, from this day forward, because of you, you, and you, we will look into the faces of our fellow man and not only see a brother, but a sister as well. What is that supposed to mean?

When did he say that? I don't remember him saying that. All I remember him saying was, "Run, run for your lives, run!" That was in the heat of battle.

And in the heat, the actual hotness of it, the cry of freedom sounds something like: Run freedom, run! Freedom, run away! My friends, you have to run, run-a, run-a, run freedom, run away! That freedom sun will shine someday, so you better run, run-a, run-a, run freedom, run away! I'm frightened. As well you should be. Freedom is scary. It's a blast of cool wind that burns your face to wake you up. Literally? Yes. It's a trickle of sweat dripping in your ears.

What do we do now?

Well, the cops will be on the lookout for us, that's for sure.

When the time comes, we fight the police, who could help with blood, guts, brains, if we have to.

It may take years, and some of us will. Freedom run away! Freedom run away! Freedom run away!

My friends, you have to run, run, run, run, run! Freedom run away! Freedom run away! Freedom run away! That freedom sun, that freedom sun will shine someday. A 3/4. I said freedom! I said freedom! Freedom run away! Freedom run, run, freedom! Freedom run away! What do we do now? Well, the cops will be on the lookout for us, that's for sure.

When the time comes, we fight the police. With blood, guts, brains if we have to. It may take years, and some of us will almost certainly not make it through the revolution alive. But fight on we will, for all the decades necessary to claim freedom for the people of this land. Decades? Uh, how about a real plan?

I've got a real plan.

What? Miss Pennywise, how'd you find us?

I had a feeling you'd be here, Bobby Strong. No one knows the sewer system like you.

Or you. Gladwell would like to talk to you, Bobby. What about?

He says he would like to discuss the situation with you, man to man. He says he now understands how unhappy the people of this community have become, and he would like to work out a situation with you peacefully.

Now there's a shortcut.

That'll save us on the decades of struggle. But can we We trust him. Mr. Gladwell isn't looking for a fight, Mrs. Strong. He just wants his amenities up and running, smooth and natural. That's all he ever wanted.

What do you think, little Sally?

I think it might be difficult for your love with Hope to grow tied to that chair for the rest of her life.

All right, I'll go. That's just a chance I'll have to take.

And what about the girl? She stays here. Any funny business and she gets it. You tell that to Cladwell. Sure, I'll tell him, but likewise with the girl. You give it to her and we will give it to him. Get me?

Well, be careful.

Now, Hope, darling. Stay calm, dear. We'll have you out of this in no time.

Hello, Bobby.

Hello, Hope. So this is the bright new day you were telling me about.

I don't blame you for being angry with me, Hope, but your father gave me no choice.

They may not have taught me much at the most expensive university in the world, but they taught me this much: kidnapping people is wrong. Really? They taught you that there? I thought we had something special together, Bobby.

We do have something special together, Hope. But until freedom rules the people of this land instead of fear, I'm afraid love is as much a chance as a baby bunny drowning in a vat of boiling water.

Maybe less.

I didn't mean to drag you into all this, Hope.

And I didn't mean to. Oh, well, I guess I don't know what I meant to do.

Look to your heart, Hope. I think the answer you've been wanting is waiting for you there, deep down.

Somewhere among the tissues. Wait a minute! When will I see you again? When darkness surrounds you and you lose your way, you have your own compass that turns night to day. It's even with you before you depart. Still here repeating, misleading you. Follow your— Oh, Bobby!

You've caused a lot of excitement over the past few days, Mr. Strong. Gotten a lot of people riled up. This is only the beginning, Mr. Gladwell. The people have only just begun to fight. Keeping my daughter confined against her will? Is that how the people fight? They fight by any means necessary.

The streets are still ours, Mr. Scrawlin. You and your people are just holed up under some underground sewer.

They'll be up. Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Cladwell. There's been a disturbance over at public amenity number 37. Number 15 as well. Word's beginning to spread.

People have gathered at all the rest. They're waiting to see what Governor Lawley will do.

After he meets with you, of course. Of course, Mr. McQueen.

Do you remember the stink years, Mr.

Strong? The first years when the water table started to drop and then just kept on dropping? Nobody thought they had much time then, so many of us did, uh, questionable things. Much like the things that are happening right now. There was the looting, of course, and the hoarding. Riots broke out like there was no tomorrow, because there was no tomorrow. But there is always a tomorrow if you're tough enough to cling to it, which is exactly why I've asked you here tonight.

Ooh.

Some people think of me as an evil man. Oh, Mr. Flafferty! But the truth is I'm no more evil than you, or Miss Pennywise, or any of those poor people you insist on I'm only a simple man trying to cling to tomorrow, every day, by any means necessary. And what happens when the drought is over? Over? Well, we can always hope, I suppose. But until then, our regimen for controlling consumption through the regulating mechanism of cash must continue. Ah yes, the regulating mechanism of cash. Cash. Bobby, I want you to have this cash. I want you to tell people the powers that be grant full amnesty to those involved in this week's criminal activities, just as long as they're willing to return to the improved fee schedule as authorized by the legislature. Don't let it happen again. Have a good time in Rio. So many tomorrows. Yes. I'm afraid my conscience will cost you more than a pile of cash, Mr.

Cladwell. Bobby!

That really is an awful lot of cash. Free access is the only cash I'm interested in. I thought we had an understanding, Bobby. Well, then understand this. If there is a way to that bright new world, we'll find it together. All of us. Not just the wealthy few. And that means free access. Free access is impossible. Then that's what I'll tell the people. Stop! I will not return to the stinkers, Mr. Strong. I'll not allow it. Caldwell, what are you doing? Spent a lifetime building this company, paying off the police, bribing the political elite, and snuffing out popular resistance as if it were a naughty baby bunny in the palm of my hand. My right hand. I centralized all power to a pinpoint spot right here between these two fingers. These two years. I'm not going to allow some doe-eyed boy who can't remember the stink years to ruin all that.

Seize him! Don't do it, Caldwell! There's no telling what they'll do to the girl.

You think just because I love my daughter I won't cling to tomorrow?

He really is as evil as they say. Caldwell, what are you saying?

I closed my heart to love And I can do it again. To your account with him then, with all haste off Sir Locke's dock. And yours also, Miss. You might. Climb well! Climb well!

Why did I listen to that man? Why did I listen to that nature of his plan? And when he talked, I should have thought, I should have walked, I should have run. Why did I listen to that man?

You and you'll come with me. We'll get work We'll see about these little disturbances. And Pip, yes, Cloudwell, summon the legislature. I want full authority on the coming crackdown. And I'm turning my hands to this bad business, not on your life. Don't kid yourself, Pip. Your hands are as filthy as a child's after sandbox time. But don't worry, you can wash them soon. Wash them in the banks of the Rio Del Rio. Now go. You, in. You, toward me.

Why did I listen to that twerk? You might be catching someone with a torch. That's how that traitor told it, made it, made me take it by the snort.

Why didn't I listen to that twerk? You lied to us, Gladwell. You told us one thing, now you said another. That's what you did, Gladwell. That's what You did! Come along then, young Bobby. We can't have you screaming all the way down to Urrintown. But what about Hope? She's still with the others. What happens to me happens to her. What happens to you happens to us all, sooner or later. Rather later than sooner, I'd say. Oh, but not to Hope. Oh, please, not to Hope. Now we've finally got you. Now you're in our claws. Captured in our city of laws. There's no trial or jury, nothing to discuss. Now the law is speaking through us.

You'll get your account, up through your account, or into your account.

Now go forth thus.

Let go of me! I have to Save Hope!

There's no saving Hope now, Miss Pennywise.

There may be no saving you either. Oh no, then take that and that and that and a couple of these. Why did I listen to that boy?

So what's it like? This Yorin Town that I've heard so much about? We're about to discover. So what's this? Where are we?

You, my boy, stand on a very special wooden floor.

The doorway is ahead of you. Step through and Yorin Town awaits. Door? More like railing. And pigeons. A rooftop? And a drop. A decisive drop. I guess I still don't understand.

Never fear, the time of understanding is at hand.

Welcome then to the very gates of Yorin Town itself.

Why did I listen to the cat? I missed one ring, he said it was no matter. Well, now it's clear that I've been had.

What in the East was it? This is your town. That's your town. That's your town. Your town. Your town. Look, there's Public Amenity Number 47. And the legislature. And my boyhood home. Why, we're just standing on top of the UTC Hyatt Corpse Building. And this, this is our town. Yes. Yes, it is. How could it be that we're in our town I'm in Urentown at the same time unless— unless— oh no, if you cut it in half.

Over you go then! Wait a minute, wait a minute!

So you're just gonna throw me off this roof and that's supposed to be Urentown? Death is Urentown? That's one interpretation. Shovel in a mothless barrel. You know the drill.

What is taking them so long? They should have been back by now. Cutler's not one to dilly-dally.

All night, the sirens and the screams. Maybe they're celebrating.

He's a good boy, my Bobby Strong. He won't let us down. If anyone can find the way to freedom, he can. Otherwise, we kill the girl, right? That's the plan, isn't it? Now let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? Little Sally, what's going on up there? It's— it's— Yes? I saw Bobby. Yes? I don't think the meeting went very well. Why do you say that? Well, they threw him off a building. What do you say, little Sally? Who threw who off a building? Bobby! The policemen! They threw him off a building! The police threw Bobby off a building? They couldn't have done such a thing! We had Clacko's daughter! Well, they did. You all right? Oh, Bobby! The policeman came soon enough, but not before I heard his last words. His last words? That's right. They were about her. Well, what were they? They were— to help her. I love her. Tell her I'll always be with her, and I will see her in a better place where hope is always new. Ours was a short time. Ours was a love that never bloomed. Yet in that mother lives a brand new hope. It's calling out to you. It's callous and gentle, tame and fine. It's docile and benign. A pickle in the brine.

What did I say? That isn't what I meant. I've lost I've lost my sense of scent. I fear my life is spent. No one is innocent. No one?

No one is innocent? What did he mean by that? I don't know. He started fading in and out after a while. It was a miracle he was alive at all.

So horrible. How could he say I'm not innocent?

Not innocent of what? Who the hell does he think he is? What? There's more. He said, tell all the people, tell them the time is always now, tell them to fight for what they know is right.

I've lost my sense of sight, and yet I see. I see them standing hand in hand. I see them standing hand in hand.

And she, to treat her girl with land. There still is hope, I see, in this land. If only— Yes? If only— Yes! And then he expired. That bastard Claggott lied to us! He took my Joseph and now he takes my Bobby. Who will lead us now? We're lost! Lost, I tell you! The rebellion is over! Destroyed with a shove.

What do we do? I'll tell you what we do. We do it to her.

Like they did it to them! Why don't you behead me instead? What? Miss Pennywise, save her! Yes, do whatever you feel you need to, but please spare the child. Old woman, you've been grasping and conniving all your days. Why so giving it now? Because Hope is my daughter, and I am her mother! That's right, Hope, darling, I am your mother, the one-time lover of Caldwell P. Cladwell. Straw Hat! Call me what you will, but it was during the St. Eorzea, and no one thought they had much time left. And so many of us did questionable things. There was the looting, of course, and the hoarding, but there was also fond farewells and late-night trysts. Life was an explosion filled with riots, cheap cabarets, dancing girls, and love. Oh yes, and love. There was love like no tomorrow, for you see, there was no tomorrow. Tomorrow. But there is always a tomorrow of some kind or another if you are willing to cling to it. How did you perform? Your father made me promise never to reveal my identity to you, for I was something of a trumpet in my day. But never in my— Ignor— My heart is telling me many things right now, as you can all well imagine, but one thing is is that if there's wrong in the world, we must right it. You did a wonderful thing by coming here, Miss Pennywise. Mom, Edison. If you can reform yourself, maybe we can reform a lot more than we know. Ladies and gentlemen of the rebellion, if you want to do to me what they did to Bobby, I wouldn't blame you. But if this wife's rebellion were to peter out in Bobby's absence, sending his memory to oblivion, I will blame you. All of you! Kill me! Kill me and the rebellion dies with me! Let me lead you and rebellion will triumph!

Lead us? She's mad!

To the very nerve center of my father's empire. I've got a key! And the guards know not to question me. But once we're there, we'll question Daddy. Oh yes, we'll question him plenty. Why should we trust you? Because Bobby, your hero, loved me. And I loved him. Hope, dear girl, on behalf of the people of this rebellion, perhaps we can learn to love you too someday. It's all that really matters, isn't it? Love. Now let's go do to them what they were ultimately going to do to us! All lives for our city, we want her back, his daughter, up for death! Pay it on your strategy! He's not sorry, not a shred. He's not sorry, he's not sorry. An absolute maze, that's what the sewer system is.

I'm going back down there to give it another look. You stay here to guard the streets.

I've been meaning to ask you, Mr. Lockstock, do you ever have any doubts about what we've been doing? About the killings and all?

It may surprise you to find that sometimes I do. But the health and safety of this community are my primary concerns. I love the people of this town, Miss Barrow, very much. Gladwell's edicts may be their only chance.

And I love you very much.

I see.

Well, that went pretty well. The smell of evil in the air. Oh, NSYFAB. Oh, right, it's Jory. Now you're sorry. You're a failure. Now you're sorry. Now you're sorry. Now you're sorry.

I am perfectly capable of finding my way around the legislature, you know.

No offense, Senator, but Mr. Flagwell didn't want you to fly in the coop. What with the coming crackdown and all. And what if I'm flying the coop?

What if I'm on my way to the airport right now catching the last airplane flight to Rio?

What would you say to that? Huh? Can I come? Go, woman, go! From deep AC! Beat it, racing, beat the clock. Let their blood flow like Campari. We're not sorry. Hey, that's life. We're not sorry. We're not sorry. Shoot their rifles just for trifles. A bunch of purple dots. Sorry, we're not sorry. We're not sorry. They're not sorry. No one's sorry, no one's sorry to make this too dark.

Any word from the sucker barrel, Mr. McQueen? Not yet, sir. They're still searching the sewer system. That's where they're keeping Hope, I imagine. I only pray that when we get to heaven, she can find it in her heart to forgive me.

Giving up on me so Soon, Daddy. What? Why, Miss Cliveaux, what an unexpected surprise! Is there any other kind?

Oh, thank God you're safe.

Oh, I'm not safe yet, Daddy, but I will be soon. All the people of this land will be safe. Well, most of them anyway. What? It's all over, Caldwell. We've come to take you away.

Take me away? But to where? To the same place you sent young Bobby and old so-and-so and all those who wouldn't or couldn't meet your criminal sea heist. Seize him!

What's the meaning of this? Oh, I've joined the revolution, Daddy. And you? Well, I believe it's time you joined the path community, and you're in town.

You're making a terrible mistake, Hope. You need me more than you think.

The only thing we need now is justice, Daddy, for the people. And love. Oh yes, and love.

I used to think the same thing too, Hope, before the stink cures, but worldwide ecological devastation has a way of changing a man. You're too young to understand this now, Hope, but there really are more more important things than love, like food and shelter and water, for example. And piles and piles of cash. It wasn't just cash, Miss Pennywise. It was an awful lot of cash.

Remember when our nights were stormy? Are you sorry? Sure, I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. Just I'm sorry. Take him away!

I regret nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing. Sure, I was a cruel and vicious man, and maybe I was a bad father, but I kept the pee off the streets and the water in the ground.

Do you hear me? I kept the water in the ground. What now, Miss Gladwell? Now is the beginning for all of us. Now is a new day when each of us, regardless of race, creed, class, or criminal history, can come together as one people and share the fruits of our labor as one. Now is the dawn of an age of compassion and the right The right to do whatever you'd like, whenever you'd like, with whomever you'd like, in whatever location you'd like. Ladies and gentlemen, today marks the final day of an age of fear, an age that has lasted far too long. And today marks the first day of a new age, a new age— Don't say it. Of hope. A river flowing for freedom. I see rivers just in you. I see a river flowing for freedom. Freedom. I see a river straight and true. Come to the river flowing for justice. Come to the river rendezvous. Come to the river flowing for justice. All for the people.

Well, as you guessed, Hope took over her father's business, instituting a series of reforms that opened up the public bathrooms for the people to pee for free whenever they liked, for as much as they liked, as long as they liked, with whomever they liked. The UGC was renamed the Bobby Strong Memorial Toilet Authority and was opened up as a public trust for the benefit of all.

For the benefit of the people. Officer Lockstock, where did you go?

Just keeping my head down, Little Sally.

Something you ought to learn to do. But aren't you afraid the rebels will see you?

Oh, I may be a cop, Little Sally, but I'm also the narrator, so none of these people can touch me. Not if they want this show to end.

So many people peeing at will. Thanks to the rebellion, the world is a much better place. Actually, Miss Gladwell, your father commissioned a study of— My father was a tyrant. We need never fear him again. Justice is the only tyrant we need obey. Sisters and brothers fight for the river. Fathers and mothers, babies too. All in the family push toward the river. Look sharp toward the river. Why don't you step in the river, wade in the river, soak in the river through and through. Once in the river, you are the river. Friends on the shoreline, jump in too.

Of course, it wasn't long before the water turned silty. Brackish, then disappeared altogether. Cruel as Caldwell B. Clydewell was, his methods effectively regulated water consumption, sparing this town the same fate as the phantom urine town. Hope, however, preferred to ignore the warning signs, basking in the people's love for as long as it lasted. What kind of a musical is this?

Did those guys finally take over? And then everything starts falling apart.

Like I said, Little Sally, this isn't a happy musical.

But the music's so happy.

Yes, it is, Little Sally. Yes, it is.

Oh, such a fever. They told me I'd have a tall, cold glass of water. I might have a fighting chance. But don't you see, Mrs. Strong? The glass of water The water's inside of you. It always has been. It has? Of course it has. Don't you know what you are? A river. That's right. We all are. You are the river. I am the river. He is the river. She is too. All are the river flowing. Flowing for freedom, flowing for justice. Let's preview.

We see a river flowing for freedom.

We see a river just and new. You see a river calling for freedom. You see a river straight and true. A musical about rock stock?

Why not, Little Sally? Don't you think people want to be told that their way of living is unsustainable?

Then, then the title's awful!

Can't we do a happy musical next time? If there is a next time, Little Sally, I'm sure that we can. Well, that's our story. Hope eventually joined her father in a manner not quite so gentle. Mr. McQueen opened up a bottling factory just outside of Brasilia, till the Amazon dried up. Then he moved. As for the people of this city, they did as best they could. But they were prepared for the world that they inherited, weaned as they were on the legends born of their founding fathers' scare tactics. For when the water dried up, they realized their town for the first time for what it truly was. What it was always. Always waiting to be.

This is your hometown, always has been your hometown. This place is called your hometown. Hail, Morphis!

Hail, Morphis! Thank you and good night.

That was our