Urinetown: The Musical MDT 2017

Well, hello there and welcome to Urinetown. Not the place, of course, the musical. Urinetown the place is It is, well, it's a place you'll hear people referring to a lot throughout the show.

You hear the news? They carted old so-and-so off to Yurrantown the other day.

Is that so? What'd he do?

Oh, such-and-such, I hear.

Well, what do you know? Old so-and-so. It's a kind of mythical place, you understand. A bad place. A place that you won't get to see until Act 2, and then, well, Let's just say it's filled with symbolism and things like that. But you're in town for the musical. Well, here we are. Welcome. The show takes place in a town like any town that you might find in a musical. This here is the first setting for the show. As the sign says, it's a public amenity, meaning public toilet. These people here have been waiting for hours to get in. It's the only amenity that they can afford to get into.

Say, Officer Lockstock, is this the part where you tell the audience about the water shortage?

What's that, Little Sally?

You know, the water shortage. The hard times, the drought, a shortage so awful that private toilets eventually became unthinkable, a problem so important—

Whoa there, Little Sally! Not all at once. They'll hear more about the water shortage in the next scene.

Oh, I guess you don't want to overload them with too much exposition, huh? Everything in its time, Little Sally.

You're too young to understand it now, But nothing can kill a show like too much exposition.

How about bad subject matter?

Well—

Or a bad title even! That could kill a show pretty good.

Well, little Sally, suffice it to say that in Urinetown, the musical, everyone has to use public bathrooms to take care of their private business. That's the central conceit of the show! Better hope your pennies add up to the fee. We can't have you peeing for free. If you do, we'll catch you. We, we never fail, and we never bother with jail. You'll get your ins out, almost your ins out. Away with you, your ins out. You won't Need bail. Later on you'll learn that these private toilets are controlled by a public company. They keep prices high generally, so if you're down on your luck, you have to come to a place like this. One of the poorest, filthiest urinals in town.

And you can't just go in the bushes either. There's laws against it.

That's right, Little Sally. Harsh laws too. That's why Little Sally here is counting her pennies. Isn't that so, Little Sally?

I'm very close, officer. Only a few pennies away.

Aren't we all, little Sally? Aren't we all?

Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me the way to the private company that controls these public bathrooms?

You mean You're in Good Company?

That's the one.

You'll meet the guy that runs You're in Good Company later. That there is his daughter. It's a long ways from here, ma'am. This here's the bad part of town.

So it is. But if you squint, you can just make out their headquarters rising above the skyline. The gleaming tower on the hill?

That's the one.

Gosh, it's beautiful.

You most certainly are.

Pardon?

It most certainly is.

Oh dear, well, I don't want to be late. Thanks ever so much for the directions and such. Bye.

Anytime. Well, we've talked on for long enough, I imagine. Enjoy the show, and welcome to Uretown: The Musical.

You, our humble audience, you have come to See how it comes to sight. What it's like when people can't be people, can't be free, can't be free. First act, last and out.

Don't assume you're fine.

Your best moment out there often is a line.

You'll think you're in town.

What best to do when you're in town? Infuse sex into your town.

All by design. It's the oldest story. Masses are oppressed. Faces, clothes, and ladders all distressed. Rich folks get the good life. Poor folks get the woe.

In the end, it's nothing you don't know. You'll miss your in town. Your ticket should say you're in town. Nobody wants to see you're in town.

We'll keep keep that.

On with the show! All right folks, you know the drill. Form a line and have your money ready. We'll not be repeating yesterday's fiasco, and that means you Mr. Strong! 496, 497, just a few more. Penny for a pea, sir?

Please, sir, spare a penny for a morning pea, sir? What's that?

Or a nickel? Or a dime?

Out of my way, child, I have a king of my own to tend to. I haven't got it. Then go get it.

Come on, Penny, I'm good for it. That's what you said last weekend, I still haven't seen penny one. It's Ms. Pennywise to you.

Bobby, Bobby, the reason we're doing that— I'm a little short this month. No shorter than yesterday, unless I've grown. He's my pal, Miss Pennywise. Can he come in for free just this once?

Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong!

No one gets in for free. No, Miss Pennywise, we've all had to make our special arrangements with people in high places over the years. Why not let this one be ours?

If old man Strong gets in for free, then so do I! And I! And I!

And I!

No one's getting anywhere for free! Don't you people think I have bills of my own to pay? Don't you think I have taxes and tariffs and payoffs to meet too? Well, I do. And I don't pay them in promises, see. I pay them in cash. Cold, hard cash. Every morning you all come here, and every morning some of you got reasons why you ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell you, you is gonna pay!

But Miss Pennywise— No buts, Bobby!

What difference would it make? What difference? Times are hard, our cash is tight, you've got no right, I've heard it all before. Justice once is once too much, I won't say it once more. I run the only toilet in this part of town, you see. So if you've gotta go, you've got to go through me. It's a privilege to pee. Water's worth its weight in gold these days. No more bathrooms like in olden days. You come here and pay a fee for the privilege to pee. 20 years we've had the drought, and our reservoirs have all dried up. I take my bath now in a coffee cup. I boil what's left of it for tea. And it's a privilege of me. The politicians in their wisdom saw that there should be a law. The politicians taxed the toilets and made illegal public urination and defecation.

So come and fill a coin, fill a cup.

Write your name here in the record book. The authorities will want to know if you've been regular with me. If you paid the proper fee for the privilege to be. I said no luck, Bobby. You're a sweet-looking boy and I like losing you around, but this man ain't coming into that van. Not this time.

I can't hold it much longer, Bobby.

Please don't tell him what I might do. You think you've got some kind of a right. Kind of right. Kind of right. You think you'll come in here and go for free. Snag a freebie. The only thing you'll get is no for free. Get out for free. I'm a business gal. Business gal, you see. I sell the privilege to live. The good Lord made us so we can be saved until we've his way. The good Lord made sure that the filthy men must soon come out again. So they are no different from lonely me.

Lonely me. Lonely me.

Lonely me. And I think I'll charge it twice.

No need to jeopardize your position.

Or better yet, have you arrested. Since you prefer the law gets tested, you'll be cursed 3 times a day, and in your own town you'll see, tricked you with a knife 3 times a time, why it's dumb to fight with me, for the privilege to pay. Hold up, hold the net!

Look at him there!

He's going right down the pavement, he is!

If he's going, then I'm going!

Get out of the way!

Make way, ma'am, you make way! That's better. Joe!

Is it old man Strong?

The same. Is this your doing, Strong? It is. Seat him. You've done a terrible thing here today, Strong. I did what I thought was necessary.

Come up, Bobby. Never thought I'd live to see the day.

Breaking the Public Health Act is an exiling offense, Strong.

Quite exiling.

What if it is? I feel better now, and that's all I care about.

Oh, Pa.

I always knew he'd get you in the end, Joseph Strong. Take him away!

Bobby!

Pa! Remember me, boy! I will, Pa! And tell your mother, tell your mother that I love her! I will, Pa, I will! Remember me, boys!

Oh, what have I done?

Remember me! Remember Bobby, what became of him. Remember how he indulged a whim. Remember Remember how he made a mockery, he shunned the crockery, off to the dockery. Don't be like him. What became of him? What do you mean by that? Just keep your head out of the clouds, that's all I'm saying. Good day. All right, who's first?

It's my last few dollars, but I'll pay.

Me too.

Me too.

I'll pay.

Always a burger, just so long as you keep letting us pay.

Oh, Pa, what's become of you?

Back to work then, Bobby. The morning rush is on. Where's my dough?

Isn't that what we're all asking ourselves, Senator? Where's my dough? From the cop walking his beat The little baby asleep in his mother's arms. We're all asking ourselves the same question: where's my dough? And by dough, of course, I mean money. I made my speech. Where's my dough? There'll be plenty of dough for everyone, Senator, provided the new fee hike breezes through the legislature. I was hoping to wait for the vote on my latest fact-finding mission to Rio. Wouldn't want to be around once the new fee hike breaks through. You think I've gone too far this time, don't you? Oh, it's up for our keg out there, lad. Well, and by this time I think it's gonna—

Daddy! What?

Hope! Thank goodness you finally made it.

Oh, sorry I'm late, Daddy. I left just as soon as my exams were finished.

How's everything, dear?

Oh, fine, Daddy, just fine. It feels great to be done with school, finally.

You see there, Mr. McQueen. Beautiful, big-hearted, and now a head filled with the best stuff money can buy. Well, if the stuff in her head is nearly as big as the stuff in her heart, I'm sure she'll be running this company in no time. That's enough, Mr. McQueen. Yes, of course. Well, I'll be. Hope Gladwell, and all grown up too.

Hello, Senator.

Come to join your father's little operation?

Is this a fax copy? Position, of course, first day.

A fax copy girl, huh? Well, they finally mentioned he was bringing on a fax copy girl, but he neglected, however, to mention how beautiful she'd be. You'd be? You're so beautiful. That's an outfit. Yes, of course. Well, we won't keep you, Senator. It's a big day. I'm sure you'll have your hands full on the floor of the legislature. What with the new fee hike vote and all. Oh, the vote will come through clad. Well, by this time tomorrow, I fully expects them to be full of cash. Oh, well, I'll be full of cash, Senator, provided the vote comes through. Oh, the vote will come through, Clyde. Well, it'll come through as long as you come through with the cash. No worries there, Senator. Once the vote comes through, there'll be nothing else coming through but the cash. No need to worry about the vote. Bip, I think we understand each other. Yes. Well, goodbye. Let's greet the staff. Staff! Staff, this here is my daughter and our newest fax copy girl, Hope Gladwell. Hope Gladwell, the good people of Urenigan Company, or UGC as it's known for short.

Hello everybody! Hello Hope!

Say a few words, Hope darling.

Oh, um, well, it's a great company and I hope to help you make it even greater.

Well, that's absolutely right, Hope dear. You're absolutely right. For you see, ladies and gentlemen, 20 years ago we came to the people of this community with a simple proposition: look the other way while we run this company the way we see fit. We'll keep the pee off the streets and the water in the ground. And Hope here has come to join our little operation to help us keep that promise. So promise me you'll treat her like the Gladwell she is. For one day she may be standing in the shoes you see me wearing today. The very shoes I wore when I made that promise those many years ago. I saw gray skies unfolding and fold. I saw gray skies and made them rainbow. Now those skies are so bleak to behold. They're still gray, but they pay for their salaries tenfold. I took this town at 4 early stage. I took this town and made it smell sway. I made flushing be flush at the bay. I'm the man with the plan, and so whom should you thank?

Who? Mr. Gladwell! We're so thankful for that thankful update. Your Pretoria door and its castle to lure Could we hope for much more? We really doubt it.

You may be right there.

Mr. Gladwell, you've got riches, which is just what we need. We say hail to you, the Duke of the Duckets.

Pine chip, brim and bobs by the bucket.

You're not Jasper, you're making money.

Faster still than bees making honey.

You're Mr. Gladwell. Gosh, Daddy, I never realized that Laura's monopolizing corporation Can be such a force for good in the world. Few do! All the coins that we take from the blind end up here where those coins all belong. Lots of coins make our company strong.

Charging fees as we please, it's all right, it's not wrong.

We're the scientists, we need funds for our big research team.

Men with the lab coats, coats with test tubes and steam. What it shows, no one knows, but hey, still we can dream.

Oh, Dad! Mr. Gladwell, finding answers, curing cancers of death.

Oh, my dad! Your ambitions are high, but you're a plus 5. What a wonderful guy, we simply love you.

You're making me blush now.

Mr. Gladwell, Atwell, you're so godly, oddly perfect and right. You are confident yet unpretentious, fancy-free and self-conscious, wise but friendly, tough as a mountain.

Goodness flows from you like a fountain. You're Mr., you're Mr. Atwell! Atwell! Oh, Daddy, they certainly do seem to adore you. So why do I feel so conflicted?

Nonsense! Did I send you to the most expensive university in the world to feel conflicted, or how to manipulate great masses of people?

To learn how to manipulate great masses of people, Daddy.

Which is exactly what we'll do.

Now get faxing. And copying. And welcome home. 537, 538, just a few more.

Well, hello there, little Sally. Awfully late for a little girl to be out and about, especially on a night like tonight.

Oh, just trying to scrape together a few coins before late night rushes on. Got one to spare?

Sure, Little Sally, I'm in a good mood tonight.

Gee, thanks. Say, Officer Lockstock, I was thinking, we don't spend much time on hydraulics, do we?

Hydraulics, Little Sally?

You know, hydraulics, hydration, irrigation, or just plain old laundry. Seems to me with all this talk on water shortage and drought and whatnot. We might spend some time on those things too. After all, a dry spell would affect hydraulics too, you know.

Yes, let's see, how shall I put it? Sometimes in a musical, it's better to focus on one big thing rather than a lot of little things. The audience tends to be much happier that way, and it's easier to write. Oh, I get it.

Then why not hydraulics?

Well, run along then, little Sally. Wouldn't want you to miss last call. Miss Pennywise won't hold the gate forever, you know.

Oh yeah, right. Thanks for the coin. Bye. What a night.

Everything cleaned up all right, Miss Barrel?

Sure is, same as always. Did you hear him scream though, Mr. Longstock?

Old Man Strong?

All the way down to your end town.

Well, yes, I heard him scream. Miss Beryl. But then, they all seem to scream in the end now, don't they? As their long journey into exile comes to a close, and the spires of Uron Town peek above the horizon, they do scream then, Miss Beryl. They most certainly do.

I was hoping he might be different somehow. Different? Old Man Strong always seemed to be bit tougher than the rest. I was hoping he might, I don't know, surprise us somehow.

Yes, well, if there's one thing I've learned in my many years enforcing the laws in this city, it's that the journey down to Eurytown offers no surprises. Not even from the very toughest among us. No, on that journey, expect only the expected. Within some hard, cold tumble of a journey worthy of a gurney, a bumble down, a slapped face, With a mace, certain to the bases, or stumble down. It's a path that leads to only one place, or leads to a new trace, or crumple down. A hard, cold tumble of a tourney, jumble of a journey to your hometown. Julie Gusty Teeth waits for you behind a tree, saw no one who could see her beam but me.

And take down Rose and Clue, I am safe up in his truth.

Didn't know the jaws he kept up there, but I'll get a trip to your wig too! What are those who think they're not as vicious?

Overly malicious.

A bunch of fruit butts we can poop. Gather for the people.

Tavern in the steeple. Laughing fruits.

Arm-tastic. Bring a little order.

Swindle out of order.

For what he loots is the fruit he says. Serving the season.

Travel out of trees and hop out boots.

Roger Roosevelt kept a cup below his belt.

Cup ran over when he yelled screw We dealt! And so did old man Strong, eldest before much too long. Called his son Michael in math, his guess was good but also wrong.

Well, years passed on, and in the trunk was scooping out a bundle, nature's bone. The life of goats in deprivation, certain aggravation took its toll. Soon learned the power of the truck should organize a function, team too. So if peace is what you're after, you're in town's the rafter to hang it off. Rose turned her big gold rose and flew to the chosen one and swore, don't be like them, don't be like them, don't be like them, don't be like them. Off you go then, boys, and happy hunting!

Yes, well, have you made plans for your journey yet? To Rio, of course.

Oh, yes, Rio. We'll have to squeeze Gladwell a little tighter than usual for our monthly payouts, extortion fees, money bribes, and such, but—

Caution, Mr. Lockstock, but it would appear we are no longer alone.

Well, I'll be.

If I am not mistaken, that there is his daughter.

So it is, and all grown up too. Miss Gladwell! Out a little bit late, don't you think?

Oh, hello officers!

Hmm, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were on a late night behind the bushes to relieve yourself of free kind of a woman.

Oh no, officers, I'm just coming home from work. First day, long hours.

Just like us.

Oh, there's some kind of big vote down at the legislature tonight. Plenty of faxing to do. Hand copying, I'd imagine. Oh yes, hand copying.

Well, I must say, Miss Gladwell, your father mentioned the size and purity of your heart. He neglected, however, to mention the size and purity of your beauty.

Does beauty have a size, officer?

In some countries. I take care on these streets late at night, Miss Gladwell. There's no telling what a few people wouldn't do for some coins.

Especially these days. What was the new fee hike, Snow? Oh, I'm not afraid of people, officers.

Oh no?

Not really. Everyone has a heart, you see, and as long as you know that, you need never fear a soul.

Everyone?

Everyone! Even criminals? Even criminals!

Even policemen?

What? Bobby Straw! Out a little late, don't you think?

Out late taking care of another late-night rush is all. There's talk of more fee hikes. People are starting to get edgy. I'm glad to hear you were otherwise engaged. Wouldn't want to put you under suspicion for taking a late night behind the bushes. I don't need to do that anymore, officers. Not while I work for Penny, I don't.

But you still need to keep your head out of the clouds now, don't you?

And what does that mean? What she means is you're a good boy, Bobby Strong. See that you don't end up like your father.

And how did my father end up?

Well, we're off. Our work's never done. Good night.

Good night, officers. Good night, Bobby. You were rather brave with them.

I don't care much for policemen. Not those two, anyway.

Policemen protect the peace.

Do they?

Usually.

Didn't I see you down by the amenity this morning?

That was me. I was just rushing off to work. First day.

Find your way all right?

The gleaming tower on the hill. Couldn't miss it.

Beautiful.

It's rather shiny, that's true enough.

Did you mean what you said about everyone having a heart?

Well, sure I did.

Because mine feels awful cold just now.

Cold?

Or empty. One of the two.

Not because of me, I hope.

Oh no, it's because of something I did. Bobby, Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning.

No shorter than yesterday, unless I'm drunk.

Or something I did to you, rather.

If it feels cold, then it must it would still be there, don't you think?

Unless there's a vacuum where it used to be.

A vacuum? In your chest? It sounds so implausible.

I did something wrong is all I'm trying to say. I can't seem to get it out of my head.

The vacuum?

My action. I let someone down that I love dearly, and I feel awful bad about it.

Well, maybe that's nature's way of telling you that Now's the time to lift someone up.

Really?

Sure. Do you think you'd be feeling as bad as you do if you didn't have a heart?

I don't know. I suppose not.

Of course you wouldn't, because then you'd be dead. What is that turns night to day? Take it with you before you depart. Be still, hear it beating. It's leading you. Follow your heart.

Follow my heart? But to where?

To wherever your heart tells you to go.

Even there?

Even to the clouds, if that's what your heart commands. What's it saying now?

I don't know. I don't know how to listen to my heart.

You have to listen carefully. Let me try.

Do you— Shh! There it is.

It's saying, we all I want a world filled with peace and with joy, with plenty of water for each girl and boy. That bright, shiny world is just waiting to start. No meanness or sorrow, sweetness tomorrow. If only you'd follow your heart. You see there, Bobby, even your heart knows you should follow your heart.

Peace and joy, plenty of water. I guess I do want those things.

There's something else your heart was saying. Maybe something I shouldn't have heard.

There was?

I think so. It was barely audible, but I definitely heard something.

Well, what was it?

Let me try again. Maybe I can make it out this time. There it is! So faint. It's saying, "All out into the open air, for it thrums with color and noise. Oh, someone is near." Someone who shares all your hopes and your joys. Someone is waiting there. Why, my heart was saying those exact words just the other day.

It was? Sure it was.

Squalor and noise, hopes and joys. It was telling me about all those things. I didn't know I didn't either until now.

Here, listen. Someday I'll meet someone whose heart joins with mine. Aortas and arteries all intertwined. They'll beat so much stronger than they could apart. 8 chambers of muscle to hustle the love in our heart.

Love is kind and considerate. Love is peaceful and fair.

Love can creep up so suddenly. When you least think of it, your love is there. We all want a world filled with peace and with joy, with plenty of justice for each girl and boy. That bright, shiny world is just waiting to start. No anger or badness.

Just laughter and gladness.

If only I followed your heart.

Well, good night, Bobby. Good night, Bobby Strong.

And good night.

Hope.

Good night, Hope. I won't forget about what you said, about the clouds in my heart.

And I won't forget about what you said about the laughter and the gladness. Wait a minute. When will I see you again?

I'm afraid in this darkness you can't see me at all. But a bright, shining new world is just waiting to start. I can feel it. Come to Public Amendment Meeting Number 9 tomorrow. I'll show it to you.

She loves him, doesn't she?

Of course she does, little Sally. He's the hero of the show. She has You just have to love him.

Yeah, everybody loves Bobby Strong. What's it like, Officer Lockstock?

What's what like, little Sally?

You're in town.

Oh, I can't tell you that, little Sally. Why not? Well, because it's a secret, that's why. Its power depends on mystery. I can't just blurt it out like, "There is no 'you're in town'!" 'kill people.' Oh no, no, that information must be oozed out slowly until it all bursts forth in one mighty cathartic moment somewhere in Act 2 with people singing and things like that. Oh, I get it. Well, I'd best be going. It's almost time for the next scene.

The next morning at the amenity with a new beehive for a nest.

That's the one. See you around there, Sally.

Keep your head down. And so with this piece of paper, the UGC awards amenity number 9 in the first of our new and entirely legal fee hikes, which we hope you will all honor and enjoy. Hike! Hike! Hike!

No one knows better than the good people at You're in Good Company how difficult times are. So for the time being, our decision is firmed, and we look forward to going to Rio with our new profits. Uh, I mean, we look forward to finding lasting solutions and things like that.

Good luck, Miss Pennywise.

See you in— well, you know where. You can't do this to us, Miss Pennywise. It'll be up to your attack for a lot of us sooner or later if you do.

And it'll be up to your town for me if I don't. Now get in line and have your money ready The new V-Hype money, that is.

Miss Pennywise! Bobby Strong, where the hell have you been? I'm sorry, Miss Pennywise. I was up all night thinking, is all.

Up all night thinking, is it? You work for me now, Bobby. You don't have to go in the bushes anymore. Like father, like son, that's what I say.

But it was about my father that I was thinking about, Miss Pennywise. About what happened to him. About what's happening to all of us.

He broke the law yesterday, Bobby. That's the end of it.

And what if the law is wrong? What did you say? I said, what if the law is wrong? What if this is all wrong?

Bobby, you got a sweet-looking head, a sweet-looking head, but you keep it up there in the clouds day after day after day, and it's gotta come down from there. You hear me, Bobby Strong? Get that head out of the clouds! You get it out of the clouds!

Off in the distance, there's a beautiful horizon.

All right folks, you know the drill.

Gleaming and radiant, it's what I'll keep my eyes on.

The same as it's always been.

As the world turns to face the sun and start another day, it suddenly occurs to me that maybe we can find a way. Look at the sun. —sky full of hope and promise. It's a shining ideal how I feel when I look at the sky. Now who's first?

I am!

Mark, take your seat now, Mrs. Trottier. Daily we break a law because we have to follow orders. This is so loud, I'm just coming home. And we keep filling money bags with broken lives and dreams. What was it for? I can't ignore these black and moral fraudulent schemes. Look at the sky, high above this madness. Here below, feel ashamed It must stop in the name of the sky!

This is all I have, Bobby.

Is it enough? You hold on to your money, Ma. Really?

The bee is law, Bobby Strong. She'll abide by it or she'll join her husband.

And what if there's a new law, Thomas Pennywise? A new law that didn't come from any voting process or elected body or process of judicial review? A new one that came from an organ. That's right, a muscular blood pumping organ like this one right here. A muscular organ? Oh, can't you see, Miss Pennywise? Well, this one's too small for you. Why not try this one on for size? It's blinding me! Look at the sky, there's a great big heart There's a heart in the sky, there just is. Don't ask why, it's the sky.

Bobby, don't do this, you're pregnant! Oh, I don't think so.

Come on, Ma, this one's on the house for everyone forever. Your heart knows all things the face of earth knows. Bobby's fear breaks it never knows.

Your heart points to the great big blue where the people's allegiance must go. Top of the world! Look at the stars! At the starry, starry shore!

Look at the sky!

We try to behave when we look at the sky! What's to become of you, Bobby? What's to become of us all?

You'll be off to Rio then, I imagine? Already got my tickets. Good work on the floor of the legislature, Phipp. I heard it was touch and go there for a while. Well, your beats of Rio slideshow changed their minds soon enough. Just like you changed my mind those many years ago. God, I wish I never met you, Caldwell B. Cladwell. Oh, sorry to interrupt, Daddy.

I just wanted to make sure you got your morning vaxes.

Why, Hope, you're absolutely glowing. It seems that the Oxforce breezes are up, what with the vaxing and all. And the copying. Oh yes, the copying. You're a good girl, Hope Cladwell. I used to be one before I met your father. A good girl? You heard me.

Daddy, can I ask you a question? Sure, Hope, what is it? Do you believe in love? Love? Why do you ask? Oh, it's his mathy night. I met this boy, you see.

He's sort of turned to love, Mr. Papa. He's got a small Caldwell, long time no see, Miss Pennywise.

Anyway, it's about to be number 9, sir.

The people there have rioted.

Rioted? They're peeing for free, Caldwell.

I tried to stop them. The assistant custodian there is refusing to take the people's money, sir. A young man by the name of Bobby Strong. Bobby Strong? They've rescinded the Public Health Act, sir.

And the Water Preservation Act. Can they do that?

Strictly symbolic. Proud now that there is a distinctly small percentage of the population as a whole.

What's happening, Daddy? I don't understand.

I wouldn't expect a good and pure heart like yours to understand. Miss Barrow and I are ready, Mr. Cladwell. Just give us the word. Huh! Well, what did I tell you, Cladwell? It's a powder keg out there. Now, I have a very important plane to catch. Except you're not going anywhere, not until we nip this unpleasantness in the bud. Nip? How so? You're Cladwell, Hope. What would you do if the very foundation of your life's work were threatened by a rubber-rousing son of a convicted criminal?

I would look deep into his heart and find out what made it pound. You sound so angry.

Angry, you say? No one gets angry with me, not without a beating.

A beating? Oh, Daddy, beating people is wrong.

Life is a beating. The sooner you learn that, the better. Well then, life is wrong. Life is many things. Look closely, Hope. You'll see it. I do. I see it everywhere. In a meadow, he's nibbling grass without a care. He's so delightful and he hops for you. You say hi, buddy, and he stops for you. You pull your trigger and he drops for you. Let's try. Hello, rabbit stew. Get me, boys!

You tell him, boss!

Don't be Don't be the stew. Don't be the dinner. You have better things to do. It ain't no joke. That's why it's funny. Don't be the bunny.

Don't be the bunny. But Daddy, we're talking about people, not animals.

People are animals, Hope dear. Animals with huge incisors and big claws Look closely, you'll see them. I do, I see them everywhere. A little bunny at a toll booth, he needs a measly 50 cents. Our bunny didn't plan it, our bunny simply doesn't have the bread. He begs for mercy but gets jailed instead. Sits up in the air as the rabbit gets the chair. Read the message there.

Where is A, boss? Don't be the bunny.

Don't be the dope. Don't be the loser. You're much better than that hope. You're born with power. You're in the money. Advice to you: be the bunny. Don't be the bunny.

A bunny at a toll booth? You heard me. Daddy, bunnies don't drive cars. Don't they? No. Actually, I don't think they do.

Live long enough, Hope dear, you'll see many things.

Even a daughter doubting her father?

A little bunny in a shoebox, he thinks he's found a brand new home. So snug and cozy on your closet door. And then you open up your closet door. Now what's that bunny in my closet for? With a mallet and some clippers, you find out no bunny slippers. See the moral, people? Right behind you, boss. Don't be the bunny, don't be the shoe. You don't get stepped on, the bunny steps his shoe. You're stepping up to where it's funny. Step on the floor. Don't be the bunny.

Don't be the bunny.

All right, everybody, get yourselves together. It's time we nabbed ourselves a few rabbits. Let's go!

One at a time, one at a time. Everyone will get a turn.

Here's some cash, Bobby, just for you. You hold on to your money, friend, and relieve yourself in happiness. A busy day so far.

Busiest on record. If the books are right.

How's the urinal holding out? A little spillage, but nothing to be concerned about. The people are happy, that's all that matters. Police! Run! It'll take a lot of explaining to keep us calm, Bobby Strong. We take control of these amenity officers. The people here pee for free. That's my amenity officers. I want these people taken away. What's happening? Why, it's the Act 1 finale, little Sally. This is where Clydewell arrives to snuff out the uprising. It's a big song and dance number involving the entire cast.

Snuff out the uprising? But what about Bobby's dreams?

Oh, little Sally, dreams only come true in happy musicals and a few Hollywood movies. This certainly isn't either one of those. No, dreams exist to be crushed. It's nature's way.

This may not be a happy musical, Officer Lockstock, but it's still a musical. And when a little girl has been given as many lines as I have, there's still hope for dreams. Bobby? Hope? What are you doing, Bobby? I told you to follow your heart, not season amenities.

I did follow my heart, Hope, thanks to you.

The amenities The community won't take much more of this uprising, Clodwell. Bobby's a sweet boy, but not sweet enough to sweeten that village, not by a long shot.

The amenity will take as much as it has to, Miss Pennywise. The days of deprivation for these people are over. Yay! Oh, the days of deprivation have just begun if this madness continues a moment longer. Boo! Boo! Sure, Mr. Clodwell, that's what you've been saying for 20 years. And for 20 years we've waited for the long-term solutions that never came. Well, we're done waiting, you see, for a new day has dawned today, a day of hope and happiness, a day when the idea of human dignity is not a forgotten notion but a living, breathing reality, a day, this day, when the people pee for free, 'cause the people are free! Hooray! Free, people are free, how can the fee enslave us? How can we be free from the chains he gave us? We're suffering now, such lives of sorrow. Don't give us tomorrow, just give us today. Free people are free, how can a thief enslave us?

See how we can be free from the chains he gave us? We're suffering now, such lives of sorrow.

Don't give us tomorrow, just give us today. For from every hill, every steeple, ring out the anthem of the people, making a new way, breaking the clouds of rain to sing of today. Sing of today. Sing of today. Sing today.

Sing today! Sing today! Perhaps best to stay back here by our father, Hope darling.

The police will want to charge you. Your father? Charge?

Daddy, people need understanding, not brutality.

On the contrary, Hope dear. A little police brutality is exactly what these people need. Officer Lockstock!

No, Daddy, wait! He only wants the people to be happy. Isn't that worth something?

Happy, you say? Happy? So you want happiness, Mr. Strong? Did you say happy, Mr. Strong? If you said it would be for free, I'd be as happy as a pig. With no rules and no worries, today things would be looking good. But too bad we watch without a share. Bitch inside the room. But tomorrow, Mr. Strong, the one of today, the one of tomorrow, the Mr. Strong, Mr. Strong, our resources are as fragile as a newborn baby's skull. With your actions, you would rob a child of a day of a lifeless world. Riven, we are so short-sighted, so sensitive, so troubled with your tomorrow. Mr. Strong, but what if today you are wrong? Mr. Strong, you're in a socialist uproar.

If the people eat for free, they'll push the system to the brink.

If today this veil is chalice, how tomorrow will not sink. It's you and me now, Mr. Strawbridge. None of us will leave this room. You, Mr. Strawbridge, are wrong on the subject of tomorrow. You are wrong! Officer Larsdotter, carry your man! Everybody into the amenity. We'll be relatively safer in there. Bobby! Why didn't you tell me you were going to start a revolution? For the same reason you didn't tell me you were a Gladwell.

I'm the same girl I was last night.

The girl last night would have joined us by now, Hope. I can't fight against my father, Rob. And I cannot fight against him. So you can join us, or you can stand aside. Stand aside?

You heard me. Bobby thinks you're standing on the brink. You'll be arrested soon. As soon as Nathan and I can never bear seeing you take it.

Oh, you've settled to follow. Your heart, first bear my heartbeats. Now I'll do my part to banish all these. You've made me to see fantastically clear. When people be real, we've nothing to fear. You'll work well, I see, and rest in peace in heart. Save today, not tomorrow. And why the sorrow? Today, today, save today.

This is a fight you cannot win, Mr.

Strong. Your rabble is no match for my men.

Oh, Bobby, he's cracked! They've got one, two, two! Oh man, then we're all so poor!

Release the girl, Bobby Strong, and face the punishment like a man! Release? No one's holding me! Bobby, Bobby, reason with the woman! I'm a little short this morning! No shorter than yesterday, and that's how I grow!

You can punish our bodies, Mr. Claggart, but you can never punish our spirits! Punish our bodies? I never agreed to any punishment in my body!

Oh, punishment is all you'll ever know!

Now release the girl! So what will it be, Bobby? Looks like we're in a real tight spot now, doesn't it? You fellow revolutionaries seem to think so. I swear I suppose we should leave. Oh, Bobby, don't ever let you leave now.

Remember me, boys. Oh, what have I done? Remember me. Without you, they won't, which is why you're coming with us.

I told you, Bobby, I won't fight against my father.

And I told you I will not fight against him.

How can I quit you and not fight against my father unless— unless— Oh, Bobby, no.

Bodybuilding! From every hill, mistletoe, and snow, bring out the anthems of our new world, making their ashes wake, shine with the clouds like the rain, a resuscitation from the grave.

Sing with me, God. Keep your men back, Gladwell!

We've got your daughter and we're not letting her go! In the name of this God, you're coming with us!

Now we're gonna walk out of here, Mr.

Gladwell, and you're gonna let us. That is, if you care about your daughter. You're making a terrible mistake, Mr.

Strong! Bobby, let the girl go! She's got nothing to do with this!

Don't let her go and follow me! Boss, what do we do? Save them! No! Don't let her get away! Help me! Help her! Now run it, buddy!

Run for your lives, bro!

Well, that's it for Act 1. As you can see, the Rebel Corps are making their getaway with Homer as their hostage. The rest of us have been thrown into confusion because— well, because we're all moving so damn slowly. So we don't get to catch them, not yet. Enjoy Intermission, and see you tomorrow! Well, hello there, and welcome to Act 2. A few things have changed around here since we saw each other last, so I'll bring you up to speed on a few things. As you may remember, the rebel corps under Bobby's leadership took took Hope as a hostage, using her as a shield to escape due punishment from my man. Word has it they're holed up in some sort of secret hideout somewhere. Could even be this one right here.

Where is Bobby and Oma Strong and Little Sally? They should have been back by now.

Ah, who are we kidding? The police probably nabbed them hours ago. It's only a matter of time before our whereabouts are tortured out What's it like, do you think? You're in town? Don't even ask.

No one knows for sure. I've got my suspicions. Sure, kid, everybody's got their suspicions. Oh yeah? What if you're in town? If you're in town, it's the end. So make that brutal punishment, no need now to pretend.

That time you're stronger and you're hungry when they cut you down. They'll box you up and ship you out. Out to college or in town. They'll box you up and ship you out to college or in town, town, town, town, town. And they won't dance, no, never do they dance. Those people down in your hometown, they never get the chance. Dancing for dance is never not a nope unless it's at the bottom of a rope. So don't get your hopes up. If they're not back soon, we give it to her like them. Well, people hear lots of things about Eurontown, of course, and that's just the way we like it. For example, a little boy once asked me, "Is Eurontown actually a nice place to live? Gingerbread houses along golden, froggy canals? Like Venice, only different?" I didn't say yes. Didn't say no either. I want them found, damn it! I want my daughter released, and I want Bobby Strong punished! Sir, we're working around the clock, but as the sign says, it's a secret hideout, so— Enough of your excuses, Logstock! You've got weapons! Use them! But sir! What is Urinetown? Urinetown's a tool, an instrument of power to enforce my iron rule. So send your troops to all the stoops and let them understand. If hope is not returned, it's Urinetown for all the land! If hope is not returned, it's Urinetown for all the land!

Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Dance, dance.

Never will I dance. Those people with my daughter want to make me teach my dance. Dance, dance. Forget it. Never not annoyed. I'll teach them not to take from me what's mine.

We should hurry, sir. The emergency planning quorum is waiting.

Oh yes, the quorum. Let's go.

Close one, Robbie. I thought Barrel saw us there for sure.

We'll have to keep on our toes, Mom, at least until we've distributed the rest of these medals to the other assistant custodians in the city.

Do you think they'll join us?

Hard to say. They were scared like we used to be scared, but if what they say is true about everyone having hearts, they'll have to join us. What is your in town? Your in town's a lie, a means to keep keep the poor in check until the day they die. I did not shirk their dirty work, but things are different now. We'll fight for rights with all our might until we win somehow. We'll fight for rights with all our might until we win somehow. How, how, how, how? Dance, oh dance, oh listen to me dance. My heart is like a stallion racing through a great expanse. Canyon of Freedom, that's where Indore was. Performing coronary somersaults.

Your heart is like a stallion? I'll explain along the way.

Come on, Ma, let's go. Where are they hiding you, Sally? Tell me and I'll see that things go easy on you.

Easy on me? You mean like sending me to the nice part of your own town? If that can be arranged. Save it for one of your other stoolies, lobsterlockstock. My heart's with the rebellion. And besides, Billy, I The way I see it, I'm already in Urintown. We all are. Even you!

Me? In Urintown? Sure!

The way I see it, Urintown isn't so much a place as it is a metaphysical place. What is Urintown? Urintown is here! It's the town where ever people learn to live in fear. So look around, you've finally found the place you best abound. For your hometown is your town if you're hopeless, down and out. For your hometown is your town if you're hopeless, down and out.

For your town Is your town if your home is down? And out, out, out, out, out. Where'd she go? Damn it, look at back to the show and enjoy what's left of Little Eve. Little Sally, Little Sally, where are you? What do you mean by metaphysical?

No! Hey, did she get thrown 3, 2, 1, get over the top!

Let me out!

The cops going all over the place. I'm trying to help you, miss. Right in there, the towers all— Mad Bell, Manfred, Mad Miss Pennywise, they was all meeting up there. Some kind of— I don't know what you want to call it— a quorum of some kind. I'll get you!

She gets the rope!

Bring her Wait a minute, you can't just give her the goat! Why not? Because killing her would make us no better than them! Haven't you heard, little Sally? We are no better than them. In fact, we're worse.

Worse?

What do you think they talk about in those quorums they got up there? How good we are?

You better bust in here, then bust us up like a bunch of overripe cantaloupe. So I say, while juice is gonna spill all over this floor here, her juice is gonna spill too. Collide well with juice, then we'll see who's better than who. Look at her there, hoboed up, gagged and tied, with her head full of hair and her heart full of pride.

The boys, I've had enough of each other. Let it go, big baboon.

Let it pop, blow it up, snap the girl.

Snap that girl? But killing people is wrong. Then why feel so right? Look at us here in a hole on the land with our hearts full of fear. What a race What a shame, no cups will be here.

Buzzing Terence, Mighty Quick, but we'll beat them to the punch when we snub out that chick.

They do it bad, but they got close, so they sang to the tree, looky here, here's an acorn to plant. I say she is the nut, and of course we're the squirrels. She is what we say when we turn, so let's love that girl. A big bang! A big bang! A big bang boom! Yeah! Not the girl! This is the end. Roll the dice, place your bets. In this miserable world, that's as good as it gets. So now let's live it up, eat the oyster and the pearl, and let's get this party jumping, really get it pumping.

Let's bring our message of hatred to the entire world!

A message like this works best under extremely unbalanced circumstances. Such as we have right here. Exactly! Now get the rope.

That's right, the rope! That's the answer!

String her up! String up that strumpet daughter of the Jarl! Chain her to a flagpole! Hang her up! Hang her up! Whoa!

Mommy's strong! Nobody's going to be killing anyone around here.

Why? Not because she's our security blanket, that's why. We're so afraid, Bobby. Killing her might make us feel more powerful for a moment.

Friends, I know you're scared, but this has got to be more than just revenge and the vicarious thrill of stringing someone up who can't defend herself.

But we want to hang her as revenge for her father's crimes. I think these He's just in love with her.

That's what I think. Maybe I am. What? Maybe I made a promise up there. A promise that from this day forward, no man would be denied his essential humanity due to the conditions of his pocketbook. That no man would be ignored by another with the means to help him. Here and now, from this day forward, because of you, you, and you, We will look into the faces of our fellow men and not only see a brother, but a sister as well. What is that supposed to mean? When did he say that?

I don't remember him saying that. Oh, I remember him saying it! Let's run, run for your lives, run!

That was in the heat of battle. And in the heat, the actual hotness of it, the cry of freedom them sound something like: Run, freedom, run! Freedom, run away! My friends, you have to run, run, run, run, freedom, run away! That freedom sun will shine someday, so better run, run, run, run, freedom, run away! I'm frightened. As well you should be. Freedom is This is scary. It's a blast of cool wind that burns your face to wake you up. Literally? Yes. If you drink a lot of sweat, if you drink a lot of sweat, dripping in your ears, dripping in your ears, if you got caught, we gotta run away, so don't you cry. There's great clamor on the stage. Run, freedom, run! Each chorus ending on a scream. Run, freedom, run!

So what's the line? Run, freedom, run!

Run, freedom, run! Run, freedom, run! Run, freedom, run! Run, freedom, run! Freedom run away! Freedom run away! Freedom run away!

My friends, you have to run, run, run, run! Freedom run away! Freedom run away! Freedom run away!

That freedom sun, that freedom sun will shine someday. A 3-4. I said freedom. I said Freedom! I said freedom! Freedom run away!

Freedom run, freedom run away! What do we do now?

Well, the cops will be on the lookout for us, that's for sure. When the time comes, we fight the police. With blood, guts, brains if we have to. It may take years, and some of us of us will almost certainly not make it through the revolution alive. But fight on we will, for all the decades necessary to claim freedom for the people of this land. Decades? Uh, how about a real plan?

I've got a real plan.

What? Miss Pennywise, how'd you find us?

I had a feeling you'd be here, Bobby Strong.

No one knows the or system like you. Or you.

Gladwell would like to talk to you, Bobby. What about? He says he would like to discuss the situation with you, man to man. He says he now understands how unhappy the people of this community have become, and he would like to work out the situation with you peacefully.

Now there's a shortcut.

That'll save us from the decades of struggle. But can I don't really trust him. Mr. Gladwell isn't looking for a fight, Mrs. Strong. He just wants his amenities up and running, smooth and natural. That's all he ever wanted.

Mm-hmm. What do you think, little Sally?

I think it might be difficult for your love with Hope to grow tied to that chair for the rest of her life. All right, I'll go.

That's just a chance I'll have to take.

And what about the girl? She stays here. Any funny business and she gets it. You tell that to Cladwell. Sure, I'll tell him, but likewise with the girl. You give it to her and we will give it to him. Get me?

Well, be careful.

Now, hope, darling, Stay calm, dear. We'll have you out of this in no time. Hello, Bobby. Hello, Hope. So this is the bright new day you were telling me about.

I don't blame you for being angry with me, Hope, but your father gave me no choice.

They may not have taught me much at the most expensive university in the world, but they taught me this much: kidnapping people is wrong.

Really? They taught you that there?

I thought we had something special together, Bobby.

We do have something special together, Hope. But until freedom rules the people of this land instead of fear, I'm afraid love is as much a chance as a baby bunny drowning in a vat of boiling water. Maybe less. I didn't mean to drag you into all this, Hope.

And I didn't mean to. Oh, well, I guess I don't know what I meant to do.

Look to your heart, Hope. I think the answer you've been wanting is waiting for you there, deep down. Somewhere among the tissues. Wait a minute!

When will I see you again? When darkness surrounds you and you lose your way, you have your own compass that turns night to day. And it's even with you before you depart. Still here repeating, misleading you, follow your— Oh, Bobby!

You've caused a lot of excitement over the past few days, Mr. Strong. Got a lot of people riled up. This is only the beginning, Mr. Cladwell. The people have only just begun to fight. Keeping my daughter confined against her will? Is that how the people fight? If by any means necessary.

The streets are still ours, Mr. Strong. You and your people are just holed up under some underground sewer.

They'll be up. Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Gladwell. There's been a disturbance over at public amenity number 37. Number 15 as well. Word's beginning to spread.

People have gathered at all the rest.

They're waiting to see what Governor Loggie will do. After he meets with you, of course. Of course, Mr. McQueen. Do you remember the Stink Years, Mr. Strong? The first years when the water table started to drop and then just kept on dropping? Nobody thought they had much time then, so many of us did, uh, questionable things. Much like the things that are happening right now. There was the looting, of course, and the hoarding. Riots broke out like there was no tomorrow, because there was no tomorrow. But there is always a tomorrow if you're tough enough to cling to it, which is exactly why I've asked you here tonight. Ooh. Some people think of me as an evil man. Oh, Mr. Blackbear, get out! But the truth is, I'm no more evil than you, or Miss Pennywise, or any of those poor people you insist on trying trying to lead. I'm only a simple man trying to cling to tomorrow, every day, by any means necessary. And what happens when the drought is over? Over? Well, we can always hope, I suppose. But until then, our regimen for controlling consumption through the regulating mechanism of cash must continue. Ah yes, the regulating mechanism of cash. Bobby, I want you to have this cash. And I want you to tell the people that the powers that be grant full amnesty to those involved in this week's criminal activities, just as long as they're willing to return to the improved fee schedule as authorized by the legislature. Don't let it happen again. Have a good time in Rio. So many tomorrows. Yes. I'm afraid my conscience will cost you more than a pile of cash, Mr. Cladwell. Bobby! That really is an awful lot of cash. Free access is the only cash I'm interested in. I thought we had an understanding, Bobby. Well, then understand this. If there is a way to that bright new world, we'll find it together. All of us. Not just the wealthy few. And that means free access. Free access is impossible. Then that's what I'll tell the people. Stop! I will not return to the stinkers, Mr. Strong. I'll not allow it. Caldwell, what are you doing? Spent a lifetime building this company, paying off the police, bribing the political elite, and snuffing out popular resistance as if it were a naughty baby bunny in the palm of my hand. My right hand. I centralized all power to a pinpoint spot right here between these two fingers. These two years. I'm not going to allow some doe-eyed boy who can't remember the stink years to ruin all that. Seize him! Don't do it, Caldwell!

There's no telling what they'll do to the girl.

You think just because I love my daughter I won't cling to tomorrow?

He really is as evil as they say. Caldwell, what are you saying?

I closed my heart to love I can do it again. To your account of him, then, with all haste, off sirloch stock, and your dog with us. You might, and plan well, plan well.

Why did I listen to that man? Why did I listen to that nature of his plan?

And when he talked, I should have thought, I should have walked, I should have ran.

Why did I listen to him then? You and you'll come with me.

We'll get Back to the Quartz Police Headquarters. We'll see about these little disturbances. And Phipps! Yes, Clodwell? Summon the legislature. I want full authority on the coming crackdown. I ain't dirtying my hands with this bad business! Not on your life! Don't kid yourself, Phipps. Your hands are as filthy as a child's after sandbox time. But don't worry, you can wash them soon. Wash them in the banks of the Rio Del Rio. Now go. You and you, toward me. Why did I listen to that croak?

I knew I should have kept some salt and rubbing torch. That's how that traitor toilet paper made me take it by the snort.

Why did I listen to that croak? You lied to us, Mrs. Ladwell! You told us one thing, then you did another! That's what you did, Ladwell! That's what No, you did! Come along then, young Bobby. We can't have you screaming all the way down to Yurrantown. But what about Hope? She's still with the others. What happens to me happens to her. What happens to you happens to us all, sooner or later.

Rather later than sooner, I say.

Oh, but not to Hope. Oh, please, not to Hope. Now we've finally got you. Now you're in our claws. Captured in our city of law. There's no trial or jury, nothing to discuss. Now the law is speaking through us.

Yoke at your account, off through your account, away to your account.

Now no more fuss.

Me. I have to save hope.

There's no saving hope now, Miss Pennywise.

There may be no saving you either. Oh no, then take that and this and this and a couple of these. It was time! Why didn't I listen to that boy?

So what's it like? This Yoruntown that I've heard so much about?

Perhaps it's better that I show. What's this?

Where are we? You, my boy, stand on a very special wooden door. The doorway is ahead of you. Step through and Yoruntown awaits. Door? More like railing.

And pigeons. A rooftop? And a drop?

A decisive drop. I guess I still don't understand.

Never fear, the time of understanding is at hand.

Welcome then to the very gates of Yorin Town itself. Why did I listen to the cat?

I went to hug her and he said he was so mad. Well, now it's clear that I've been had. Why did I leave my two cats?

This is your town. That's your town. Yes, your town. Your town. Your town. Look, there's Public Amenity Number 47. And the legislature. And my boyhood home. Why, we're just standing on top of the UGC Headquarters building. And this, this is our town. Yes, yes it is. How could it be that we're in a I can't be in our town and your town at the same time unless— unless— oh no, if you cut it in half.

Over you go then! Wait a minute, wait a minute!

So you're just gonna throw me off this roof and that's supposed to be your town? Death is your town? That's one interpretation. Shovel in a moth's nest barrel. You know the drill.

What is taking them so long? They should have been back by now. Kaka's not one to dilly-dally.

All night, the sirens and the screams. Maybe they're celebrating.

He's a good boy, my Bobby Strong. He won't let us down. If anyone can find the way to freedom, he can. Otherwise, we kill the girl, right? That's the plan, isn't it? Now let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we? Little Sally, what's going on up there? It's— it's— Yes? I saw Bobby. Yes? I don't think the meeting went very well. Why do you say that? Well, they threw him off a building.

What do you say, little Sally?

Who threw who off a building? Bobby! The policemen! They threw him off a building! The police threw Bobby off a building? They couldn't have done such a thing! We had Flagell's daughter! Well, they did. You all right? Oh, Bobby! The policeman came soon enough, but not before I heard his last words. His last words? That's right. They were about her. Well, what were they? They were, help her. I love her. Tell her I'll always be with her, and I will see her in a better place where hope is always new. Ours was a short time. Ours was a love that never bloomed. Yet in that love there lives a brand new hope. It's calling out to you. Its call is soft and gentle, tame and fine. It's docile and benign.

A pickle in the brine. What did I say? That isn't what I meant. I've lost I fear my life is spent. No one is innocent.

No one? No one is innocent? What did he mean by that? I don't know. He started fading in and out after a while. It was a miracle he was alive at all.

No, how could he say I'm not innocent? Not innocent of what?

Not innocent to the Who the hell does he think he is? Wait! There's more. He said, tell all the people. Tell them that time is always a noun. Tell them to fight for one thing always right.

I've lost my sense of sight, and yet I see. I see them standing hand in hand.

I see them standing hand in hand. To treat their glowed new land, there still is hope.

I see it in his mind.

If only. Yes. If only. Yes! And then he expired. That bastard Kleppner lied to us! He took my Joseph and now he takes my Bobby. Who will lead us now? We're lost, lost, I tell you. The rebellion is over. Destroyed with a shove.

What do we do? I'll tell you what we do.

We do it to her like they did it to him. Stop! Why don't you pretend me instead? What? Miss Pennywise! Leave her! Yes, do whatever you feel you need to, but please spare the child. Old woman, you've been grasping and conniving all your days. Why so giving? Because Hope is my daughter! And I am her mother! That's right, Hope darling, I am your mother! One time a lover, O Codwell P. Cladwell— Stop it! Mother! Call me what you will! But it was during the Stink Year, see, and no one thought they had much time then, so many of us did. Questionable things. There was the looting, of course, and the hoarding, but there was also fond farewells and late-night trysts. Life was an explosion filled with riots, cheap cabarets, dancing girls, and love. Oh yes, and love. There was love like no tomorrow, for you see, there was no tomorrow. But there is always There is always a tomorrow of some kind or another if you are willing to cling to it. How did you perform? Your father made me promise never to reveal my identity to you, for I was something of a trumpet in my day. But never in my— Enough! My heart is telling me many things right now, as you can all well imagine. But one thing is bellowing louder than anything else is that if If there's wrong in the world, we must right it. You did a wonderful thing by coming here, Miss Pennywise. Mom, Spencer, if you can reform yourself, maybe we can reform a lot more than we know. Ladies and gentlemen of the rebellion, if you want to do to me what they did to Bobby, I wouldn't blame you. Say what? If this wasn't rebellion, You heard Peter out in Bobby's absence, sending his memory to oblivion. I won't believe you. All of you, kill me! Kill me and the rebellion dies with me. Let me lead you and rebellion will triumph. Lead us? She's mad. To the very north center of my father's empire. I've got a key. Pin the guards enough not to question me, but once we're there, we'll Question Daddy? Oh yes, we'll question him plenty. Why should we trust you? Because Bobby, your hero, loved me, and I loved him. Hope, dear girl, on behalf of the people of this rebellion, perhaps we can learn to love you too someday. It's all that really matters, isn't it? Luck. Now let's go do to them what they were ultimately going to do to us! A lot more than you think, Watcher. Mad Kid's daughter are for dead!

Paint it on your Strativari.

He's not I'm sorry, not afraid. He's not sorry. He's not sorry. An absolute babe, that's what you are, Mr. Vince.

I'm going back down there to give it another look. You stay here to guard the streets.

I've been meaning to ask you, Mr. Lockstock, do you ever have any doubts about what we've been doing? About the killings and all?

It may surprise you to find that sometimes I do. The health and safety of this community are my primary concerns. I love the people of this town, Miss Barrow, very much. Gladwell's edicts may be their only chance.

And I love you very much. I see. Well, that went pretty well. Now we go in the air. Oh, an aspider. Oh, right, it's sorry. Now you're sorry. You're up there. Now you're sorry.

Now you're sorry. I am perfectly capable of finding my way around the library. I just let you know.

No offense, Senator, but Mr. Flagg loves you while you fly the coop. What with the coming crackdown and all.

And what if I'm flying the coop? What if I'm on my way to the airport right now catching the last airplane flight to Rio?

What would you say to that, huh? Can I come? Let their blood flow like Campari. We're not sorry. Hey, that's life. We're not sorry.

We're not sorry.

They're not sorry. Just for trifles. Up and down. So big we blew.

So rich in glory. We're not sorry. They're not sorry. I'm not sorry. No one's sorry. No one's sorry till they get to your grave. Any word from Locksucker Barrel, Mr. McQueen? Not yet, sir. They're still searching the sewer system. That's where they're keeping Hope, I imagine. I only pray that when we get to heaven, she can find it in her heart to forgive me.

Giving up on me so soon, Daddy? What? Why, Miss Cliveaux!

What an unexpected surprise!

Is there any other kind?

Oh, thank God you're safe!

Oh, I'm not safe yet, Daddy, but I will be soon. All the people of this land will be safe.

Well, most of them anyway. What?

It's all over, Caldwell! We've We've come to take you away.

Take me away? But to where?

To the same place you sent young Rob Bagley.

And old so-and-so, and all those who wouldn't or couldn't meet your criminal beehives.

Seize him! What screening is this? Oh, I've joined the revolution, Daddy. And you? Well, I believe it's time you joined the expat community. And you're in town.

You're making a terrible mistake, Hope, you need me more than you think.

The only thing we need now is justice, Daddy. For the people. And love! Oh yes, and love.

I used to think the same thing too, Hope, before the stinkcures, but worldwide ecological devastation has a way of changing a man. You're too young to understand this now, Hope, but there really are more important things than love. Like food and shelter and water, for example. And piles and piles of cash. It wasn't just cash, Miss Pennywise. It was an awful lot of cash. Are you sorry? Sure, I'm sorry.

I'm not sorry. Trust us, son. Take him away.

I regret nothing, you hear me? Nothing. Sure, I was a cruel and vicious man, and maybe I was a bad father, but I kept the pee off the streets and the water on the ground, you hear me?

I kept the water in the ground! So, uh, what now, Miss Gladwell? Now? It's the beginning beginning for all of us. Now is a new day when each of us, regardless of race, creed, class, or criminal history, can come together as one people and share the fruits of our labor as one. Now is the dawn of a new age of compassion and the right to do whatever you'd like, whenever you'd like, with whomever you'd like, in whatever location you'd like. Ladies and gentlemen, today marks the final day of an age of fear, an age that has lasted far too long. And today marks the first day of a new age, a new age— Don't say it. —of hope. I see a river flowing for freedom. Freedom. I see rivers just anew. I see the river flowing for freedom. I see a river straight and true. Come to the river flowing for justice. Come to the river, rendezvous. Come to the river flowing for justice. All for the people, me and you.

Well, as you guessed, Hope took over her father's business. Instituting a series of reforms that opened up the public bathrooms for the people to pee for free whenever they liked, for as much as they liked, as long as they liked, with whomever they liked. The UGC was renamed the Bobby Strong Memorial Toilet Authority and was opened up as a public trust for the benefit of the people. Officer Lockstock, where'd you go? Just keeping my head down, little Sally. Something you ought to learn to do. Look, aren't you afraid the rebels will see you? Oh, I may be a cop, little Sally, but I'm also the narrator, so none of these people can touch me. Not if they want this show to end.

So many people peeing at will. Thanks to the rebellion, the world is a much better place.

Actually, Miss Blackwell, your father commissioned a study of what happened—

My father was a tyrant. We need never fear him again. Justice is the only tyrant. We need obey. Sisters and brothers fight for the river. Fathers, mothers, babies too. All in the family push toward the river. Shove toward the river. Why don't you step in the river? Wade in the river. Soak in the river through and through. Once in the river, you are the river. Friends on the shoreline, jump in too.

Of course, it wasn't long before the water turned silty, brackish, then disappeared altogether. Cruel as Caldwell B. Cladwell was, his methods effectively regulated water consumption assumption, sparing this town the same fate as the Phantom Urinetown. Hope, however, preferred to ignore the warning signs, basking in the people's love for as long as it lasted.

What kind of a musical is this? The good guys finally take over, and then everything starts falling apart?

Like I said, Little Sally, this isn't a happy musical.

But the music! It's so happy. Yes, it is, little Sally. Yes, it is. Oh, such a fever! If only I had a tall, cold glass of water, I might have a flying chance. But don't you see, Mrs. Strong? The glass of water's inside of you. It always has been. It has? Of course it has! Don't you know what you are? A river. That's right. We all are. You are the river. I am the river. He is the river. She is too. All are the river flowing for freedom, flowing for justice. Let's scream, you!

Do you see a river flowing for freedom?

We see a river just in view.

You see a river calling for freedom. You see a river straight and true.

I don't think too many people are going to come see this picture.

Why not, little Sally? Don't you think people want to be told that their way of living is unsustainable?

That in the time Oh, can we have a happy musical next time?

If there is a next time, little Sally, I'm sure that we can. Well, that's our story. Both eventually joined their father in a manner not quite so gentle. Mr. McQueen opened up a bottling factory just outside of Brasilia until the Amazon dried up. Then he moved. As for the people of this city, they did as best they they could, but they were prepared for the world that they inherited, weaned as they were on the legends born of their founding fathers' scare tactics. For when the water dried up, they realized their town for the first time for what it truly was, what it was always waiting to be. This is your town. Always asking, "You're in town?" This place is called "You're in Town." Hail, Morpheus! Hail, Morpheus! Thank you, and good night.