Stuck in Life? You're Avoiding the Real Problem | Sean Clayton | Ep 21
Sean Clayton shares his path from childhood trauma and federal incarceration to spiritual leadership. He describes repeating his father's patterns in relationships, serving 2 years 10 months of a 46-month sentence, and using meditation, plant medicine, and the Hoffman Process to heal. He teaches on sacred geometry and manifestation.
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Sean Clayton is a transformational coach, spiritual guide, and founder of the Science of youf. He empowers others to break free from limiting beliefs, heal past traumas, and unlock their divine purpose through a blend of ancient wisdom and modern science.
What is sacred Geometry?
Every ancient religion, current religion, every spiritual practice. Buddhism, all the way to I Ching, all. All the way to Hinduism, all the way to Islam. Christianity is inside of this.
How?
This is what we do in relationships. We find the person and then we figure out where their mommy and daddy trauma is. And we just poke and poke and poke and poke. It's part of our divine journey to then say, okay, am I gonna continue to allow this person to do this? Most of us run away from it, and then we repeat it again. It keeps happening. So our whole, like, reproduction cycle of humanity is doing that same thing, running away and repeating it. Those of us that have figured it.
Out, it's so interesting to see who you are now from where you came.
No matter who you are in life, even if you think that you have a child and you can control a child, if you think that you have a company, you control the company. If you think that you have friends, you can control your friends, you can't control a damn thing. You can only influence them. Give them as much love as you possibly can. Stand in that integrity. Stand in that truth. And if they reject you from that and you're consistent in your patterns, in your rhythm, then, by the way, we're.
Gonna do a part two, because I think we're just warming up.
Welcome to the Sacred Thomas Podcast.
Hold on real quick. I noticed that only 3% of the people who watch this channel are actually subscribed. Can you do me a favor and hit the subscribe button? It helps the channel tremendously, and the bigger that the channel gets, the better the podcast will get. I appreciate you and enjoy the video. Sean Clayton, how are you doing? Give me the long answer.
The long answer. All right. How am I doing? That's an interesting question that nobody really pays attention to. So the how is, when I think about it, holistically, is really my embodiment of myself. So how. I'm full, okay? I'm full of life. There are a lot of interesting things that are unpacking right now in my life. When it comes down to, you know, you kind of go through what I call, you go through these different dimensions of your life, and, you know, you grow up and you're born. There's going to be a long answer.
By the way, I asked for the long Answer. Yeah.
Okay. You grow up and you're born and you come into this thing, and you're a vessel. You're an open receivership. You're like this, you know, you could be programmed any. Any specific way. You have these parents that bring their trauma, their patterns, their issues, and to protect you, they do these traumatic things to keep you away from their own trauma, right? And they think it's for your own good. So you take on that behavior and you get to a point in Life, and I'm 45 now. You get to a point in life where you start recognizing what it was that they gave you, how you were holding that trauma and replicating it, reproducing it into life, and how you can start to. What I call alchemize it and turn it into something that no longer haunts you, that's no longer the devil, that no longer chases you down and beats you to the ground. And. And when you see the fact that you can re. Observe that back into a state of wholeness and the church calls it holiness, it becomes a thing where you recognize all the blessings that they gave you from that perspective. I have a 16 year old, and I recognized for a long period of my life I was doing the same thing to him. I was reproducing the trauma that my parents gave me into him. And he came and moved in with me a couple of. About a month and a half ago because he was living in Dallas, and me and his mother separated. So he came and moved in. And I was super excited about it because part of me, my ego part was like, oh, I won. Like, finally can see the man that I've become. So that's the ego part. The other part of it was, is that he was. Didn't want to stand in the responsibility of the man that I was now that I am now, right? So part of it was like, hey, I only asked him to do a couple things. Make sure your room's clean, right? Have a few responsibilities around the house. Dishes, trash, simple things. Just do that. Make sure you show up to school. And for whatever reason, he didn't like that. So he's like, hey, Dad, I want to go back.
How old is he?
16. Okay, so you want to go back. And, you know, he recently gotten into girls, you know, playing around with a couple of, like, you know, medicinal things. And. And he's very much so shared it with me, which I appreciate, which is cool. On the other side of it, it's like, as a parent, most parents would be like, stop, don't do these things and I'm like, hey, what does this mean to you? Why are you doing this? And my father would have come to me and kicked my ass, right, if he would have found out, like, oh, I'm smoking a little something, same, you know, that type of deal. And what I recognize is like, I gotta let him learn now instead of holding him back and he hides and then he learns later. And so in the conversations that I have with them are very challenging, deeper conversations that probably for a 16 year old, you're not ready to have. Like, how do you have a spiritual conversation? And what I mean by spirit, because a lot of people is you hear spirit and you get lost in this whole woo woo land. But each one of us has this soul, this embodiment, this, this vibration that we feel. That tingle on your spine when something really magical happens. Right, right. And that's your soul getting your attention. And when you have a soulful conversation or spiritual conversation with a young man who doesn't really know what that means. And he's been programmed by me, his mother, grandparents, his sisters, you know, all these other people in his life that are like pressing on him, that this is how the world's supposed to be. It's a wild thing for them to break through on and confusing, very confusing. So he came to my house and started drinking through a fire hose. And part of me is like, hey, I cannot continue to spray him with this fire hose of knowledge and information and wisdom and what has started to allow me to become me, to see the world through this lens of love, through this lens of what I would consider holiness, where I could see all of the past of my life as a blessing from, you know, we'll get into it, I'm sure, but my sexual abuse to being incarcerated, to trying to take my life, to, you know, failed marriages over and over again. And instead of him having to repeat those things, I'm not going to control him from my trauma. I'm just going to give him the knowledge, give him the information, give him the wisdom and say, and challenge him out of love. Is this really. You want to go, why are you doing this? You know, are you doing this for you? Are you doing this for your friends? Are you doing this because, you know, you're trying to escape something, you know, in you and your mother's relationship by chasing these women this way? Or are you truly being a man of integrity, can you follow through with the commitments? And those are challenging conversations. I wish that my dad would have had them with me when I was that age, right? But him rejecting me in that moment, this is the long. How I could have changed and been like, okay, hey, I'll make this easier for you. I'll make this a space that doesn't have integrity. You can have one foot in, one foot out. You can not have the responsibility. And you can kind of. Because the last four years of school, he missed 60 days of school each year at his mom's house. Like, he just didn't go. Nobody held him accountable. I'd call him and be like, go to school. I can't make him go to school if I'm in another city. So he was in Dallas. I was another city. I can try to hold his mother accountable the best that I can, but she's her own person. So through all of these different things that I was witnessing, he was, you know, failing. And, you know, part of him failed the ninth grade, you know, and he has got him to another school and they're putting him on an accelerator plan and now he's going back to the same system. So you can't. What I recognize in that is, no matter who you are in life, even if you think that you have a child and you can control a child, if you think that you have a company, you control a company. If you think that you have friends, you can control your friends, you can't control a damn thing. You can only influence them, Give them as much love as you possibly can. Stand in that integrity. Stand in that truth. And if they reject you from that and you're consistent in your patterns, in your rhythm, then they will either get closer to you and make adjustments to you being the creator of your world and how you observe them, or they will go the other direction. And watching him do that doesn't mean that I'm not going to support him. Right. Am I going to do the things that I would do if you were here? No, I'm not going to do the exact same things. But I'm going to make sure he's not hungry. I'm going to make sure he's well fed, bed. I'm going to make sure that he has the things that he needs. But I'm not going to, like, you know, overly luxurize his life, you know, to the capacity of being in the presence of where he is now. And that sounds like a lot of people be like, oh, my dad cut me off. It's not cutting him off. It's just, here's. You can. You can be here. You're in my life and I'VE left that door wide open for him. But you have to do simple things, go to school, right? It's your job at 16, right. And it would be no different than somebody in my company, right. Or a friend that I have to set agreements with, right? Or, you know, my wife, right? We have agreements that we have. This, our covenants is what we do. And so in the how part of it is seeing that and saying, okay, am I going to go fall back into the construct of what a good father is? What's a good father? Good father isn't me folding to what my kid thinks is right. A good father is me being there to love him, keeps the doors open and guide him out of love. No judgment, no anger. I wasn't even angry. I was like, hey, I love you. You want to go back? I'll take you back. If you want to do these things, I will go there. And he. He wanted to, you know, now he's kind of going into the old behaviors of where I told him, I said, you're using me because you're not. We set an agreement. You said you were going to come live here. You chose not to, right? You. You. You chose to leave. So you broke the integrity of that container. The door's still open for you. So you want to come back. We can re. Establish that agreement again. But for him, he said, I don't want that anymore. So what feels good is the fact that I was able to stand in that integrity when the guilt of how I grew up, when my father wasn't around, the guilt that I have around what society told me a good father should be, the guilt, those. Those feelings of guilt, because I don't feel guilty, but the feelings that you have that kind of creep over your back, like, oh, you know, that little thing on your shoulder that's whispering and saying, oh, you should do this. You should make it easier for him. You know, his. His mother, you know, saying things to him that get back to me, all of that. It. It feels good to know that I can stand in the integrity of myself, no matter what comes, and take that judgment, take that criticism, take that opportunity for alchemy, and stand in abundance. And what I've seen since he's left is the most beautiful things come into my life from my relationship with my wife. There's like a shift there that's happened, right? We're always shifting, but, like, it's just like this weird, like, back to back deep partnership. And I think she questioned if I was gonna be able to stand in the Integrity of the things that I said. We can talk more about integrity later. If she was going. If I was going to be able to hold him accountable for the agreements that he said, or was I going to fold because of. You know, there were points in my life when I was incarcerated, and I wasn't in the first. There. The first three years of his life. So I felt guilty about not being that I was. Been playing makeup ever since or when I decided to move to New York to pursue my career in marketing and advertising. And I would come back, I mean, I was still upholding to my, my visitation schedule, right, with him. Come back every other weekend, two days a week, you know, and I would literally fly back and forth to see him. But I felt guilty of not being there when, like, he had a game or something that I would miss on an off weekend or whatever. So I was playing catch up, and now it's like, hey, I opened the vessel, I shifted my life, I changed that container for him, and now he. He rejected it. And so when you do that in life, are you going to go backward and it's like what they call in the matrix. Are you going to go back, take the blue pill and jump back into this thing again and be the old version? Or are you actually going to stay in a true abundant state and then let him become his whole self? And no matter what happens, if he were to stay, if he leaves, or if he goes down some really weird path that he could possibly go down, he's going to end up at the same place, and that same place is his most abundant self, no matter what, if he stays, then it happens probably a little faster. If he leaves and he's like, hey, I really want to live the life that my dad was going to give me. And he's gonna have to get a job. He's gonna have to be responsible. He's gonna have to be integrity of somebody else, right? Not me, because this was his job here. That could be his job there. The other one is, hey, I'm gonna off life. At some point you're gonna like, I did crash to the ground. And then you're gonna wake up and be like, okay, I gotta be in integrity in my life. No matter what happens, you end up there. I'm just 45 instead of maybe 25 doing it right? So long answer. But that's how I'm doing right now.
That's how you're doing. Okay, wow. I mean, there's, there's a lot to dissect there, man. The way you Describe it. It seems like you got a handle on it. Very calm, very easy to talk about. Is it hard to do that?
No, not anymore. It would have been so hard. The word hard is only a. It's only a perspective.
Yeah.
It's not a reality. Okay. What I perceive to be hard is only from what I've been taught, hard is okay. And so with him, like, in this situation, I could be like, oh, that's really, really difficult, because how much programming have I been taught that this is what a good father should be. So to stand in integrity, that could be really hard. But when you recognize that you create everything from the inside out, that everything that is happening in your life is truly a blessing, truly a gift, and really the process of me being able to resolve my childhood sexual abuse and understand why I created it, to love myself, which sounds crazy, why I created, you know, three failed marriages, to love myself, you know, and this sounds wild to say these things, why I created incarceration for me to love myself. I created thyroid disease and a broken back for me to love myself, why I created, you know, me being a spiritual at one point, you know, for me to love myself, all those things, if I can create those, then this is easy. Right. That's also a perspective. But you get through those things and you're like, oh, well, this is just a road bump in the street. It just slows me down a little bit. Right. But I need to slow down because maybe if I was going too fast, I would be at the intersection a second earlier and I get an accident. Right? An accident in my life and my spiritual journey, you know, in whatever it might be. So all of these things are divinely architected for me to be able to receive information, to initiate myself into my most whole state that I could possibly be whatever that most whole state is and be absolutely perfect in those moments and recognize that if everything's okay, everything is love.
I love that, you know, you're. There's a lot of people in society that I guess we'll say, like our Jay Zs, they come from a. They come from the bottom, and they make it to the top. And when I think about it, it's really hard for me to find someone that I really, really respect that just from birth. They are just the epitome of greatness, evolution, amazingness. Unless it's Jesus.
Yeah.
You know, our prophets. So with that said, it just seems like when you come from a past like yours, that's where you get the lessons.
Oh, yeah.
And so I want to go Back to the beginning and so my audience can understand where you come from. So tell me, let's start from the beginning. Trauma, pain, all that. How did you get to, to this version of yourself from everything you just described?
Yeah, no, amazing. So, grew up in Dallas, Texas. I was born 45 years ago. I've now started to incorporate astrology into things. So I'm going to say I'm a Gemini and there's something in that that we'll talk about later. Okay.
My dad is a Gemini.
Okay. Okay. Yeah. So there's something in that that's very interesting about like how we get brought into this world as a very specific frequency. Okay. I didn't know what it meant when I was born, you know, but once you start to embody it, stuff starts to change. So I was born, my parents were not married at the time by my father was kind of always been this like Rolling Stone kind of guy. Yeah, I was that way for a minute too. And you know, my mother, you know, they have me out of wedlock. And then as she moved, she was in, she was in Denver, she moved to Dallas and, you know, followed my father and they finally ended up getting married several months after I was born. She. He wasn't there for my birth. I'm really going deep here.
Okay.
She wasn't there for my. He wasn't there for my birth. But you know, growing up between, I would say 0 and 9, you know, she was adopted and I was her first blood relative. So we had a really, really close relationship, me and her. And I didn't realize how close it was until it wasn't close anymore. And that happened, you know, in my teens when I, you know, started witnessing my father. He was, you know, almost had like a whole other family vibe happening and was witnessing that and seeing my mother in pain and getting angry at my father, but then wanting to have the affirmation of my father because of course you want to be seen by him. And between the time of 9 and 14, you know, I was sexually abused by a family member for a period of time and it really shut me down. I was even from a growth perspective, I was always super short, which is crazy because I'm not short anymore. I didn't grow until my like until I was like 18 years old, you know, so I was like 5 foot 2, 5 foot 3. And all of a sudden I was like 6 foot 2, like 18. It was wild. But I was suppressing myself, you know, until I actually got out of my parents house. And then it, you know, that whole experience of going through that, you're ashamed, you don't want to talk about it, you know, because it's happening. From a male person, family member in your life, you're like, well, can you really trust the men in your life? Then you go through this whole process of wanting just the one person that you think is your safety, which is my father. So no matter how horrible he was being to my mother, even though her and I were super close, I mean, think about the conflict internally you have. It's like, I grew up and, like, she's my ace. Then my father, I see him treat her a very specific way, and then I'm sexually abused. So I don't really know if I can trust men in my life, but then I really want to trust him. And then I'm, like, angry at my mother for not, like, stopping this from happening, because if she was stronger than my dad wouldn't be doing this. But my dad's running all over what's really going on.
Recipe for disaster.
Yeah. And so all I wanted to do was be close to him, though. So no matter what it was, I was just seeking that affirmation. And so I, you know, I was okay with whatever he was doing, but I wasn't okay with it. And so what did I do is I distanced myself from my mother so that I could be close to my father. Right. And so then that, of course, creates this feminine wound that I have inside of me about breaking that. That I'm watching her go through all of this stuff with him. But then what do I do is that as I go through life, I start to replicate that through some other mirage, as you would call it, of what that would look like. So instead of me being the guy that was, you know, know, blatantly, like, getting in a relationship and off the relationship, I would go in and get into it and work to manipulate it to make it feel like he was making that feel right. So I get ended up getting married at, you know, 20 years old. Right. And because I was like, oh, let me get a family and let me start that thing for myself so that I don't feel like I felt not having one growing up. Okay, I'm 20 years old, get married, go through that whole thing.
But you said you would get into relationships and try to manipulate it to feel.
Yeah. Like, to make it feel like what I saw him doing. So I saw that he could. I was watching him control my mother in some regard or attempt to control my mother by not being present.
Okay.
So he's not present, but he's controlling my mother. So what does she do? Because she grew up being adopted, she just wanted his affirmation. So what she would do is seek out his affirmation when he's not present. So the more that he was out there in the world, cheating, doing his thing, the more that she would actually go through the process of affirming him, through that pain of separation of her not having her parents in her life. Now you see, like the.
How would she affirm him?
Yeah. So not excusing his poor behaviors. Right.
And then telling him, letting him do.
It, allowing him to do it. Right. Affirming his poor behaviors or not holding him accountable when he would come home late at night or. Or making excuses, but then, you know, crumbling around me and my sister while we were growing up, right. So she would crumble around us. We would take that on, we would watch her go through that. But then when he was around, it was like everything was okay. And she knew, like, I mean, a woman's intuition knows when something is not. Like she didn't know. And so she knew, but she was just accepting it because she wanted a family so bad. So she's now, once again, like what I was doing. I wanted a family so bad. Repeating the trauma of the brokenness that her mother and father that didn't want to keep her, let her go. So then what does she do? She turns that into something else. Makes it into a situation to where she's being, you know, I would call it emotionally abused. There was no physical abuse. There was, but a lot of emotional abuse in the household. Not a lot of love, not a lot of care. And then what I do is I go do the same thing, just differently.
Yeah. So that when you got married.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so what I would do is, you know, do things to create these, you know, control mechanisms, like just not be present. Right. It could be there, but not be present. Create these vacuums, you know, in order to have the other person feel like, you know, like they started to clamor and affirm me and my whole life going from being sexually abused. What do you do? You just want to be affirmed and seen by people, you know, high school, straight a student, you know, 15, Dynamicsat, great athlete, you know, got a full ride track scholarship. All the stuff that I was doing in order to make sure that the world affirmed me. So I would do those things and I could do the same thing to manipulate the person in my life. So then you get married to somebody in a relationship, you Find their weak parts. Like, this is what we do in relationships. We find the person and then we figure out where their mommy and daddy trauma is. And we just poke and poke and poke and poke.
And you think we do it consciously?
No, we do it unconsciously, very much so. But we do it. Every one of us does it. It's like, oh, this is your mom and dad trauma. Let me just do this until you stop it. And we just open it up and open it up.
Sometimes it's a big night turning it.
But we figure it out. Like, that's the whole thing. Like, you think about. You get a relationship with somebody and you start, you know, dating, and you're like, oh, well, tell me about you. You tell me about. I'll tell you about me. And then you guys tell each other about each other. Oh, well, this is what's wrong with them. Let me see how much I can, like, open that up. And are they going to stick around? And if they stick around, then they love me. That's the conditionality around it. So that you do those in these relationships and you keep twisting the knife over and over again, and you open up this crazy fucking vessel of pain, and it's part of our divine journey, right? To then say, okay, am I going to continue to allow this person to do this? Most of us run away from it, and then we repeat it again. Then we run away from it and we repeat it again and it keeps happening. And so our whole reproduction cycle of humanity is doing that same thing. Running away and repeating it, running away and repeating it. Those of us that have figured it out, which we're all getting to the point of doing that we're like, hey, I'm a change agent. I'm going to stop this from happening. I'm going to take responsibility for everything in my life. And then that whole twisting of the night stops happening. Because you recognize that you created everything in your life from. From a source of responsibility. And you no longer are running from it. You're standing in it. And sometimes that's painful for a bit of time, but once you stand in it long enough, just like the conversation we had about my son, what'll happen is there's a stillness there. And then that stillness, people start to adjust themselves around you. And they're like, oh, I want to be closer to you. I want to get further away. And then you imagine like a puzzle piece. Like a puzzle. Not every piece fits at the same space with everybody, right? And then they start re architecting themselves across this puzzle. And so the sky goes to the sky doesn't mean that it's not part of your picture. It's just becoming the sky. Right. The ground becomes the ground, the house becomes the house. The dog becomes the dog, like. And all these pieces just start to architect themselves so the picture looks harmonious instead of like chaos. Right. And so for me, going through this process with women in my life, which was built off of my emotional trauma, seeing my mother and my father, what they were doing, I just kept repeating the same thing over and over again. And that was a big feminine wound that I was carrying with me about not being able to see and recognize one what my mother was going through, and then loving what she went through enough to understand that it was a journey that I had to create for myself in order for me to be a balanced man. That makes sense.
Dive deeper into that. Okay, so you had to create knowing what she went through. You had to create the journey to.
Become a balanced man.
So, meaning repeating what she did or me repeating.
So. So every one of us has masculine and feminine energy inside of us. Okay. And, you know, obviously for me, I had, you know, the whatever feminine energy that I had inside of me was wildly violated when I was sexually abused as a child. So I shut that down. When I shut that down, my relationship with my mother shut down. Okay. In addition to that, what I then started to see is this misogynistic father who was out there cheating, lying, doing all these things. Then I looked to emulate that, not balance, right? So I created a situation. You know, there's these things I talk about, these hermetic laws I talk about or laws of the universe, but there's this thing of polarity. And so you have, like, this duality and polarity happening in your life. I shut down the feminine aspect of me. I went and then started to chase after this overly masculine aspect of me. I was a runt at the time, doing this because I was shutting off my own growth pattern because I wasn't receiving the ability to grow feminine is receivership. So when you think about feminine, that's the receivership. The giving is the masculine. So I was giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, looking for affirmation, but not really receiving it. So I was giving so much of myself to the world. Straight A's, athletics. But I was small doing it. So I was taking this little tiny package of a human being trying to throw myself in the world as much as I possibly could and get feedback, but I really wasn't receiving it because I shut off the feminine version of me, right? And it doesn't mean. It's like, when you talk about feminine, it's not like, you know, I'm just this girly guy running around, but it's just, can you receive? So I wasn't receiving. And so in the relationship with my mother, like, me being able to heal that and me being able to say, okay, all of this stuff that happened in me seeing her, me going through the sexual abuse and being able to actually receive that, that was a situation for me to understand how horrific the rabbit hole could really go, even in the recognition of the pain that she was going through. So I always look at things through correspondence. My mother was being cheated on. My mother was adopted. My mother was rejected by her family. Oh, now her feminine aspect of all of these things that she was given, she really didn't receive. She didn't even have the chance to, okay, oh, what did I do? I replicated the same thing again. So now I go out there and I go. And I didn't go out and, like, get. You know, hey, somebody sexually abused me. But at a young age, that happened to me so that I could learn how to receive. Not in that situation, but I could say, okay, I can take the situation no longer look at it through a lens of pain and suffering, which shut off my ability to receive, right? Heal that within, forgive my assailant. Understand that this person's dad shot himself, right? So he was going through something as well. So what did he do? He's like. He shut off this whole, like, you know, fatherly aspect, and so he just became a person that was out terrorizing, and then that he took that out on me. So if I understand it well, then why did dad shoot father shoot himself? Then you keep going down the whole thing. But at least I understood that he had his situation. And then once I could forgive that, then it opened up my ability to receive. And now I can be a balanced man because I can receive and I can give at the same time, right? And in relationships, if I can't receive, then what are you doing is you're looking for some feminine avatar, some woman in your life that will take the place of this receivership that you're not in, and you can't even mimic that with her, so then what ends up happening? If her whole concept is safety and feeling safe and feeling grounded, and you can be a presence, and you can't even be that for her because you're out there trying to find all these other women to fill that receivership gap because you can't fill it for yourself, then you're filling in and pulling in. What I would consider are these. I'm calling broken women. Right. But women who also have that same trauma pattern.
How do you, as a man, how do you open up to that receivership?
Yeah, that's the hard part. We don't have a lot of examples of this in our life. Right. I would say yeah, even. Even in stories like the Bible, they have overly. They've made men overly masculine. Jesus, for instance, was like a balance of masculine and feminine energy. Okay. Going through, like, a very tactical process of it. If you like, for instance, what was happening with me for a period of time is the type of woman that I would attract would be either overly sexualized. Right. They would be overly affirming. They would have some trauma pattern inside of them that we would, like, do this parental thing and try to, like, jab at each other to figure out how to solve it. And it would start out, like, really, really red hot. And then it would blow up all of a sudden. Like, it was like this thing. It was this very specific pattern that would happen over and over again. And what I recognized was that when I, at the time, I didn't recognize it was like, oh, this is great. Like, you can go out and have these, like, amazing experiences. And I know that my relationships last about this long, and then that's it. And I'm probably never gonna get, you know, never gonna get married again or whatever it might be, you know, and so I go through these, like, rhythmic cycles of this thing. And, you know, it would always be this type, and they would always have these same issues and the same thing. Well, if that's the case, then. And it's just some program that I've created for myself and for me, being able to recognize that and solve that is, you know, that's. That's the challenging part. That's the level of awareness that you have to have. And most of us don't have that awareness because we're consistently in this, like, fight, flight, hide, or free situation, which we're working to survive and not thrive. So one of the ways that you move from surviving to thriving is what I call a big window of consideration. Are you altruistic enough to be able to give of yourself? Can you consider yourself first? And not in a selfish way, just in a way that, like, when you consider yourself first, you think, am I truly taking care of myself? Am I truly loving myself? Am I still enough to be able to look around me and say, I can take full Responsibility for everything in my life. And I can consider why it was all created out of love. That's a conversation I used to have with myself all the time. And at first I was convincing myself that it was real until I learned how to walk as if. And that took a couple years to do, a couple of plant medicine journeys to do. It took a couple of. A little bit of heartache with my now wife to go through and her challenging the shit out of me. But once I really started to accept her challenge, her holding me accountable, her being the angel in my life that could see me when I couldn't see myself, and then sit with that in a space of stillness and solitude and stop going out and being like, oh, if she's not going to be this for me, I'm going to go get it elsewhere. If she's not going to be this for me, then I'm going to go and, you know, prance myself down the street and get looked at enough to where now I can feel good. I can feel good again. You know, if this woman, this woman, this woman, this woman pays just attention to me, get the heads to turn, right, go out with your boys and just have like a gallivant out night and just make sure I still got it kind of thing. Like, no, like that. I don't have to do that anymore, right? And if you're doing those things as men, we are literally taking away from the feminine energy within us that's reflecting outside of us. We're objectifying females, and we are not standing in a space of what I would consider is just this wholeness, this holiness that allows the feminine energy in us and outside of us to feel safe. And if it's not safe, we can't receive anything. And then this ties into, like, abundance. This ties into, you know, this is why for the longest time I would get like the most money coming in that you possibly think. It was like crazy shit that was happening. And I couldn't keep any of it because I wasn't worthy to receive it. So it would come in and like, it was like I had this bottle here and there was a top and somebody's trying to pour water in it, and I just had a lid on it, okay? So I had this misogynistic lid sitting on top of my cup and the divine is pouring all over me all the time. And every now and then I would do this thing and it would come in and I just put it back on again. I'd receive for a second or the woman in my life would force me to receive. And so she would take the lid off and something would come in. And I was the most abundant whenever I was in a relationship. And so it would happen and I would get a little bit, but the majority of it would just fall, fall away. And when I truly was able to just open the top of my cup up and then just be there. And that was me stepping into my femininity, right? This feminine receivership of myself, all of a sudden I can hold it and then it would come in and then I could hold that container and then what I could do is I could pour it on other individuals.
What did that look like for you though?
Like materially?
Well, you said that you standing in your femininity and you were able to start actually receiving that abundance. What did it actually look like for? Like, what did you actually do? What does that mean?
Okay, that's a great question. So it meant that I understood what it would. An embodied feminine soul looks like. Okay. I understood what it needed in order to be nurtured. So action items. Was I, was I able to create safety in my life? Was I able to feel safe? What does safety mean? Right? It doesn't mean that I'm like out here. I've got to get like. I mean, I got one point, I got to like £250, right? I was like, let me get really, really strong and big. That wasn't it, right?
If you got to 250, that was.
Muscle, like muscle and some fat. Like you couldn't.
Yeah, yeah, okay. Big bulk. Big bulk.
Yeah, I was big, bulky, right?
Yeah.
Let me get strong and big. Let me eat 6,000 calories a day. Let me do the rock diet. Let me look like that guy right now. That wasn't it, right? That just is like this thing that other guys would look at and be like, oh, you're a big dude, right? But I didn't. It wasn't me being an established.
Safety in yourself.
It wasn't safety in myself, right? It was, it was an awareness exercise of being able to understand that my thoughts become things. Okay, what are the thoughts that I'm choosing to think? Because you choose to think the thought you think they're not. Just like something can come in your mind. Then you can choose to be like, ah, I don't want to think that I'm going to turn into this. We do it all the time. It's like, you know, you might be, you know, when I was younger, there would be people in my life and I would, you know, I wouldn't like their face and I'd want to hit them. You know that feeling?
Yeah, I've had it.
You had to be like, I don't.
Like you right now. And, you know, you just. But you don't do it.
So the thought comes in, you're like, I'm not going to choose that thought. I'm going to choose something else.
Right, right.
Or, you know, anything like that. So you just start being extremely deliberate with your thoughts. Right. You start, um. And that allowed me to become safe because I was like, oh, I actually am the programmer of this game that I'm in. Okay. Then what started to happen is, is I would then say, okay, am I feeling or am I emoting? Two different things.
Okay, explain the difference.
Emotions are taught feelings. So if I feel, you know, if I feel like feeling is just a body thing. If I feel something in my gut, oh, that should be fear, I'm gonna turn that into fear. And then what I'm gonna do, I'm expand that fear and make it into something. Because, oh, everybody's taught me if I have that feeling, this thing happens in my life. I need to do this thing. Somebody dies, I'm supposed to go to a funeral and cry. If something. Somebody cheats on you, I'm supposed to get angry and vengeful. If somebody tells you that you're ugly, I'm supposed to get mad. If somebody calls me a nigger, I'm supposed to respond a very specific way because that's what I've been taught. Somebody calls me here now, I'm like, thanks. Like, what the fuck you talking about? Like, thanks. This is on you. You're hurting yourself more than you're hurting me. Whatever brought you that energy to call me. Yeah, that's you, bro. That's not me. Like, why am I going to take on your pain? Yeah, right. And then if we, as all black people did that, all of a sudden racism starts to go away because essentially, like, I'm not going to take on the pain of somebody else's issues because they can't stand in whatever race that they are and whatever frequency that they were created here to be. They just don't like themselves. So they don't. They put it out on somebody else. Right, right. So when those things started to happen and I was able to shift that energy for myself, I was able to change that, you know, that understanding that emotions are just taught feelings. And I can choose what I'm emoting, right? And I can truly feel in my body with this frequency, this vibrations what these feel like? Am I overly in my head and I'm getting headaches all the time, right? Am I having stomach issues all the time? Well, that's a feeling in my body. I'm supposed to feel like these things are happening on purpose, right? Am I having. There's a period of time I got asthma because I wasn't in my breath, I wasn't in my heart, I wasn't breathing. I wasn't taking consideration of what was coming out of my mouth. I had a thyroid disease. Had my thyroid fully radiated because I wasn't using my voice from a time when I was sexually abused all the way up until in my 30s. And then at one, at which point, you know, it turned into graves disease, it turned into an actual. It literally shut down my body. And then I got super sick. And so once I started recognizing when I feel something, I need to do something with that feeling. I need to move that feeling on. And so what I do now is I'll take the feeling and then I'll figure out what that feeling really means from a divine perspective, right? And there's a bunch of teachings out. You know, you can study this. There's I Ching, there's Kabbalah, there's all of them say the same damn thing. There's gene keys, there's human design. But if you go deep enough into them and nobody has time to do this. But, you know, if you're listening to this, you know, there's a way that there's a. There's some extra simple paths to go to go through. But what I studied when I got into this was that every one of those feelings that I. Every emotion that we've been taught has a complimentary divine energy associated with it. So like shame and guilt, you know, moves over to strength and love, right? So if I feel this, I can immediately alchemize it. This is me becoming strong and standing in love. So the minute I have that feeling of that taught emotion, I just move it over into this divine energy, and then I just learn to work that game.
What's the action items of actually catching it and moving it over to strength.
And love or something like that to that divine.
Is it. Do you. You recognize it, you become aware, feel it, and then what do you do from there?
Yeah. So I immediately there'll be an emotion. I'll be like, okay, where'd this come from? Well, I got this emotion from my mother or my father. They used to act this way. So that's just a taught thing. All right, do I. What do I do with that? Is it trying to get me to survive? Gun like a gunshot goes off, maybe I should run. Yeah, right.
Cool.
I'll run. If it's, you know, something goes a little haywire at work, or let's say, for instance, my wife gets mad at me and she's raising her voice, I can sit in that. Like, I can choose to not run away from that. Now, do I have to act like my father acted when my mother yelled at my father at the period of time, if that ever happened? Because it didn't happen a lot. Or I see you don't have it on tv, so I watch TV show. Well, this is what you're supposed to do when you get yelled, that you're supposed to yell back, well, no, I don't have to do that. So I can look at that and say, like, okay, well, I learned this from this system. Do I need to replicate that system? If I replicate that system, then what happens is I'm just expanding the chaos. So my thing is, let me choose not to. And then I just make the choice at that moment in time to say, am I going to be the system or am I going to be Sean?
It's kind of like living consciously versus unconscious.
Exactly. Yeah, 100%. And then I just say, all right, well, I'm just going to choose Sean over the system and then see what happens. And every time, like, without a doubt, every time I choose me in the opportunity to be a victim, then it shifts. The person is like, fine, well, let's stop arguing. Let's stop being chaotic clients all of a sudden. Just shift, right? Like, I mean, it's the wildest thing to see friends, you know, or like, well, I was trying to bite with you, but this isn't working. And they just stop, right? It's just the wildest thing to see. So that was. That's that exercise. And so, like, you know, if I feel like, oh, I'm getting a little heady with this, and I'll get a headache or I'll feel it in my throat, my throat will get scratchy. You just feel it in your body, and then you just turn that thing into a. Into a divine feeling. You know, I have a playbook that actually allows, you know, people to understand, well, if this happens, you do this next real simple. And if it's on a Monday, then you do this thing, because every day of the week has a specific code inside of it of what to do on those days. There's a reason that, you know, there's the Sabbath and, like, all the stuff that we've been taught inside of, like the Bible, the Quran or the Torah, all Abrahamic religions. There's the seven days of creation very intentionally. And there's something to do on those days from a frequency perspective that when you do those, it makes the flow from the divine come in, and then you don't. You're like. It just becomes easy.
Yeah, I want to. I definitely want to actually get to that 100%. Yeah, we'll get to that. But I mean, we. You know when I asked you about. You know when I asked you about the beginning. Yes, we got to.
We got.
We got to. You being. Getting married at 20.
Being married at 20. Okay, so.
We beard.
We beard way off.
Yeah, yeah. No, it's. It's all good, man. But so, yeah, because I'm. It's so interesting to see who you are now from where you came, and I. I just want to go along that journey. So you get married once at 20. Yeah, let's go from there.
All right. Married at 20. Quickly divorced and ended up graduating college. Going and getting a job first thing out of school, worked at this medical staffing company. And once again, still in my whole rhythm of affirmation. So let me just outwork everybody. So I work everybody. It was a literally phone sales job, 30k walking out of school, get on the phones, and I'm like, oh, okay, I'll just out dial everybody. So Most people do 100 phone calls a day. I'll do 600. And so I would just, like, outwork the. Out of people. And was like, the fastest to vice president, was making a couple hundred thousand dollars a year in my first year out of college. How old were you? I was 22. 22? 23. Yeah, it was nuts. I was like. I was like, oh, affirmation, affirmation.
I'm gonna need to know how you went from that to being incarcerated. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, we're getting there.
So I was making a couple hundred grand.
Life was good. I was attracting all kind of interesting, you know, feminine energy in my life. And I ended up meeting my son's mother at the time, and. And, you know, she was looking for safety. Safety meant money. You know, there was this young, very impressionable, and she was older than me, you know, black guy. I was like, the only black guy at the company. It was like a thousand people. And, you know, I guess that was her vibe. But, you know, we ended up dating. She had two kids, and I saw those two kids as a version of Me. So they saw them when I got in, their life, their whole lives changed. You know, I was like, oh, wow. See, these kids, they were, like, having issues in school. I come in, no more issues. They're on time, things are working, stuff is good. And then it's like, oh, if I leave, then I left the old version of myself, so I can't leave. So out of guilt, I stayed. We ended up getting married. Very challenging relationship, but tried to make it work the best that we could. And the thing that saved me was prison from that because. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I started a company in the midst of it with, you know, very close family friend member who helped invest in the company. They were running the back end of the business, still staffing. I was running the front end of the business. He ended up doing a bunch of stuff to embezzle some money. Disappeared off the face of the map to Africa. This is before. This was like, in 2008. So before, like, banking and stuff like, that was really tight. As it is now, you could play paper games with checks and stuff. And he just disappeared with quite a bit of money. I ended up getting hit with the case because I own the majority of the company and did some things to work to rectify that and made it worse. And one day, my son had just been born. He's like 8 months old. Knock at the door. No, younger than that. I think it's like six months old. Knock at the door. And federal government was outside of my house. They came in, asked me what I did. I told them the story, you know, but like, hey, this happened, this happened. I tried to fix it. We kind of fixed it, you know, the whole deal. And they're like, now, like. Like, this is a problem. And I was like, well, you know, I didn't benefit financially from this at all. You know, what happened is, I mean, I like the whole deal that gave the money back to this, you know, it's like a whole hospital thing. Gave the money back. I just needed it in order to pay off, like, this bank that the money got stolen from. You know, like, I was working this. This thing. And they're like, well, it's what you did in order to do that. Because it was like I was. I, like, hacked the hospital to send emails back and forth in order to validate so this guy didn't lose his job. Anyway. Yeah, there's a deeper, deeper thing into that. But that. That led me into federal prison. And they said I had three options, you know, after. After they left, because they left and said, you'll hear from the U.S. attorney's office. You can either plea out, you can fight us, but you already told us everything. Because I wasn't. I never got detention when I was a kid. I wasn't a bad kid, not bad, but I wasn't a problematic child. And. And so I ended up you know, basically, like, playing out because it was that or I, you know, helped him find, you know, the other guy. And yeah, wasn't a thing, right. So, like, I'm not a bounty hunter. Like, I don't know how to do that. So. Ended up, ended up spending, getting sentenced to 46, 46 months in federal prison. Spent two years and 10 months in there. Completely changed my life. Got divorced in that process. Didn't spend the first three years of my son's life with him. This is where I learned digital marketing, oddly, right? Not in prison, but before I went in, I was in the halfway house and learned to, like, sell cars on the Internet and got really good at it and got a bunch of books when I was in the. In prison and read them. So as things were coming along when I got out, I did it again. And then I started making really good money selling cars, you know, like, you know, you know, 10, 20, 30, $40,000 a month selling cars, which is great. And, and that helped, you know, accelerate me into this marketing ecosystem and then started working for some of the biggest agencies in the world. So, like Omnicom and wpp. So Omnicom, like, they run all the marketing for, like, Disney. WPP runs the marketing for Google and Coke and Nike. So I started working in those places and it taught me a lot about, you know, marketing and customer acquisition strategies and all this other cool stuff. So that kind of led me down that path. And the only way to do that was then to move to New York, which is why I kind of followed my career in that case. And then even in that one of time when I got out, a close friend of mine who was kind of like a high school girlfriend, you know, her, and I got together and I got married again because I still hadn't solved my trauma issues. Right? I just. Yeah, this was. So that was like number three, which is freaking bananas. And, you know, and there wasn't. It wasn't, you can only love somebody to the point you love yourself 100%. I don't really love myself, but I was looking for somebody else to love me. And so you just create these same rhythmic, weird patterns of chaos and, you know, over that window of time, ended up going to New York, wasn't fully divorced yet, but I ended up meeting who I would consider is just the angel of my life who's not my wife. And, you know, she, you know, didn't like me at first. No, I shouldn't like me at first. We. We kind of worked together and didn't like me. And she's like, look, you got some problems, right? You know, number one, you're married. You need to get your together. Number two, you know, so she was really holding me accountable. But we had a lot of similar trauma patterns. Hers just kind of like mirroring versions of each other. So we got each other from that and we just, like, had this really cool drink one day, and that started, I would say, the spark that ignited the flame. We worked to try to figure out each other's mommy and daddy issues, and we did. And over about four years, it was me being one foot in, one foot out, loved her to death, but I didn't really know as much as I could love myself. And then we ended up having a split. And in that window of time, I just went on this, like, crazy spiritual plant medicine because she actually opened the door to the journey for me. She's like, you need to meditate and do some other stuff, get out of this whole dogmatic religion thing. And even though that had served me for a period of time, it also kept me away from me. It kept me looking at whatever this God in the sky is. It kept me chasing after what religion. So, I mean, I grew up, Amy, you know, like it was African Methodist, Episcopalian is black church, Christian church, deal felt Baptisty kind of thing. You know, white gloves on the hands, you know, vibe go in, you know, the ushers and everything. And, you know, my grandfather's name was on the church. Like it was, you know, we. It was very indoctrinated into my process. And she, you know, but I was chasing the God in the sky. I wasn't chasing the God with that. I was chasing, you know, the white bearded Jesus that maybe that. I don't know, nobody knows what he really looked like. There's no picture. But I was chasing that thing, right? I was chasing after. There's only one way, one thing to do. This is what it is. And there is some truth in the teachings that we can get into. We want to go into that, but it's also one of those deals where she was like, look, you need to just find yourself. And so when we started to really go into it, she taught me and taught me meditation, showed me some other ways to look at life. And that took me off in my spiritual journey. That was like, she was my red pill. Right. Or called the Matrix and candidly saved my life. Cause, I mean, even I had had suicides, suicide attempts, and, you know, even tried to slit my wrist, all kind of crazy stuff. And so she. She opened those doors for me and really was. I mean, she's my angel. Like, that brought me through. And that whole process of her being able to see me before I could see myself, you know, that's that woman's intuition. She could see me before I could ever see who I was. And she was like, I. I know that you are my person. You just don't know you're my person.
And she told you that?
Oh, yeah. She's. I mean, our first. Our first kind of date is she's like, I'm here. She's like, I'm here to keep you safe. And it was, like, the weirdest thing.
Wow.
Yeah. And protect you. She said, I'm here to keep you safe and protect you, you know, which is just such a weird thing to say for somebody to say. And I was just like, all right. And.
But that. That must be me hearing that. Yeah, it's not. It sounds like that would feel really good.
Oh, it felt good. But it was like, you know, I didn't.
I guess knowing what I know now. Yeah, it sounds like it would feel really good. Yeah. It might come off weird if you.
Don'T feel worthy to receive. Like, once again, I have a. I had a feminine wound that I hadn't healed. Yeah. I had the cup on my water bottle that I wasn't receiving anything. So somebody pouring that kind of abundance into me would be, like, Right.
Weird.
That's weird. You know, But I. It affirmed me, but it was weird at the time. So she's, you know, here to protect you and keep you safe. And I'm like, all right. You know? And then we just kept going down the path, and we started to just figure out all of our issues, all of our problems. And we were each other's. We were cleaning each other's mirror. But what we really need to do is clean our own mirror. So even though we're cleaning each other's mirror, every time you clean it, you make a streak, and then you get mad at the street and you clean the streak. And we kept doing this thing to each other, and eventually we got to the point where, you know, it was just like, we had to go do our own internal work. And so we had a split. We both did the work. I was not great at it because I just went off and I was like, oh, let me just go find more attention. And then eventually I was like, that's not the thing. So I did a bunch of meditation retreats, a bunch of plant medicine. Probably too much. Well, there's never too much, but I did a lot of plant medicine from mushrooms to Iboga to 5 Meo to all the things. And that whole process led me, like on one of my final journeys when I did this iboga stuff, which like paralyzed me to the ground. It's like this African route you take. They call it the the father grandfather or the called the father the ka. The mother. I did that too. And. And they call iboga the father. The father was just like, surrendered me down. And all I saw was her in these visions. And so it was like her over and over and over again. And I'm like, okay, I need to. Apparently she's my gateway. Something about that. And I thought it was just her, but it was more about she was this. I needed to learn how to receive. I needed to learn how to be in my femininity. I need to learn how to break this whole bond of this trauma pattern that I had. And it took a few more months. Then I went through this thing called the Hoffman process. And the Hoffman process is where you go in and you like, identify your negative self love patterns. And so it's like a list of 500 of them that are the Hoffman, Hoffman process. Yeah, you go seven days away, take your phone, you're in a room like 40 other people, you write down all your negative self love patterns, what parent you get them from. I had 296 out of 500 that they had on the list all the way from, like, one of them was like, you know, did your parents leave child? Did your parents leave pornography on the coffee table? Was one of them. And like, so, yeah, my dad actually did that. Wow. Weird shit like that. It's just like, oh, check the box from my father. And so, you know, you see all these patterns. I think I had developed one of my own. But then what you do is you go through and you figure out, like, I don't need to hold this anymore. I need to release that. Right? And you go through this. Like, you release it somatically, you release it emotionally, you release it psychologically. Like, you release it intellectually, and you release it through all these different layers. And then what happens is when you come out of this, if you try to go back to one of those behaviors, it's like you've actually done something with this code of your life. You try to go back and the grace you gave yourself by not knowing because you developed the pattern from your parents, parent. You get a lot of grace. You give yourself a lot of grace, and your life doesn't really fall apart. You just kind of know things are off and you get depressed or relationships keep not working. But that's just your life. When you know and you no longer have those patterns that you have, you have, you know them, you understand them, and you're wise from them. The minute that you try to go back into old pattern, like if I were trying to go back a mild pattern and be like a, you know, a womanizer, everything in my life would fall apart. And I tried, and everything in my life fell apart. I lost every single client that I had inside of my marketing agency. I started to get sick. My back issues came back. Like I have two fractured vertebrae came back like that. When I tried to slip my. When I did slip my wrist, I lost all the feelings in my hands. The feeling went away again because now I can feel whenever I'm in integrity, I feel. But when I'm not in integrity, I can. My hands go numb. It's like an indicator of when I'm not being the person that my whole person, my whole self.
This happened after the Hoffman process.
After the Hoffman process. If I don't walk that line of integrity of truly saying, hey, these are my mom and dad issues, let's go ahead and build who Sean is and let that go. If I don't walk that after that, the whole illusion, this whole world literally crumbles on top of me. And every person that I've seen go through that. When they don't walk in integrity, their.
World falls apart after they.
After that.
After they gain that level awareness.
Yes. Okay.
That makes a lot.
And you can do it through Hoffman. You could do it after this video, after somebody watches this podcast or listens to it. It could.
If.
If you start saying, oh, I got that from my mother and my father. It's the greatest gift you'll ever give yourself, but the greatest curse you will hold yourself into if you don't walk in integrity of your knowing. Because then there's no excuse, then it's like it's you. It's you looking in the eyes of God and saying, okay, screw you, God. I'm not gonna listen to you anymore. I'm. I now know that you gave me a gift, because then you start recognizing it's a Gift that you gave yourself in order to understand how to love. So, God, you gave me a gift. But you know what? Fuck you. I'm gonna go back and be this again. You then become the antithesis. You become the fallen angel. You become the devil in the eyes of God. And then when that happens, the. The hell you live in is the hell of your own creation, not the hell of the creation outside of you.
So you. You and your.
That.
That's so crazy, man. But it's. It's. I say it's crazy, but it's. You're. I'm really listening intently, and it makes sense. It's wild. That's the freaky part. Yeah. Just. It's actions equal. Equal and opposite reactions, you know, But. So you and your wife split?
Yeah. And we weren't married.
You weren't married. So you were dating for four years.
We're dating for four years.
And then you split. How long do you split?
We split for about nine months.
Yeah, about nine months.
Eight to nine months. And we kept weaving in, each out of each out of each other's life. Like, no matter where we go, we end up in the same city again. Like, live is the weirdest thing. So I was like, you know, in Hancock when, like, the. They come back together. It was like that thing where we didn't destroy each other when it happened, like, but we kept coming back together and integrating back with each other. It was weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But she was meant to heal certain parts of yourself. It's the reason I'm going back to that. It's just so interesting. You know, we both have a mutual friend, Preston.
Yeah. And.
And her. Alexi's role in seeing him.
Yeah.
And them building what they've built together.
100%.
It's. It's just interesting to see your. Your story with your wife and how she's helped you.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
How's. How has your wife helped you? How's your wife helped you heal? How's your wife helped you become the.
Person you are today, man? So she. Once again, like I said, she saw me before I could ever see my. Myself. And she's a Pisces. And so she feels things and she intuits things way before they ever come. Right. And, you know, she's. You know, what they call a mutable sign. So, like, there's different signs in astrology. And so she has this thing about creating change. Like, she will. She is a change agent. She will stir up the dirt in order to then say, okay, the seed that you're going to plant is going to grow, and you're going to hold yourself in integrity of that. And it's like a. It was a tough love for a long time. I used to see it as, like, why in the. Is she being so hard on me? Right. I don't understand this, you know, and at the same time she was being hard on me, there was this other version of her that was, like, you know, the most exciting person to be with. So I was like, I'll take this to get this right? And so for me, it was, you know, I'll take a little bit of what I call at the time the pain in order to get this pleasure. And I used it as an excuse to rationalize why we were together at first, okay? And then I recognized that she was actually just holding me accountable. She was just loving me before I could love myself. And then once I started to see that, what ended up happening is it started coming together. So then it became this balance thing. That wasn't her trying to kick my ass. It was like, just walk in integrity. This thing over here goes away, okay? And then when this thing went away, all of a sudden, all of this pleasure started to become this, like, unifying force. And that was the covenant that we needed to create in order to move through life. So she. Through that integrity and even being able to. To. Because she could have, when we split, gone off. She's a beautiful woman. Gotten anybody in the world, you know, like, it's. You know, I definitely was, you know, punching way above my weight, you know, as far as it relates to her. But her whole process of. And of the way that she loved herself in order to love me, it's almost like she sacrificed parts of her to save me. And, yeah, now it's in the. My turn. You know, that's not sacrifice, but she gave up parts of herself to save me. And now it's like, you know, she's going through her process now. And my thing is, let me just make this as safe and as grounded and as whole as it could possibly be, because she's always been at the door, knocking. She's always been there, and she's held it open for so many people. But then she never. She's like. She. She walks through for a second, and she's like, I need to hold it open for everybody else.
That actually makes me think of. So there's a clip that went crazy viral that I posted, and it was Alexi talking about her, how she saw. How she saw what Preston had inside of him.
Yeah.
And she. That clip went crazy. But there's people arguing about women. They say that women, what they do is they. They take on a man like that just for their man to leave them and cheat on them or something like that. There's a lot of that going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now, I like how you said that. You know, she really helped you get to where you're at today, and now you're coming back and you're providing safety for her.
Right.
So can you talk about how you are helping her walk through that door right now?
Oh, 100. Yeah. So, you know, we. We're her and I are business partners too. Okay. Okay. So for me, you know, a lot of people, like, let me create this church and state, let me separate my wife from these other things, and she's in everything that I do.
Okay. Do you think that helps, oh, 100. Her feel safe by doing that?
It's, it's the process of informing and honoring and integrating. So the informing, it's like, hey, here's what I got going on in life for the longest time. A lot of what a lot of men do is they don't tell their spouse, their significant other, you know, their partner. You know, whether you're homo or homo or hetero, you're not telling your other person, like, hey, here's what I got going on. So, you know, some of the things that have been triggering more recently that come up are like, hey, we end up from a long time ago. Like, like we had some people come in and I had told them some things about our relationship back then, and they started to, like, bring them up again. And because I didn't inform her of these conversations that I had had before, it triggers. Okay. All she wants to do is be informed. Hey, babe, Like, I had these conversations with these people four years ago. They're coming into town. I don't know if they're going to bring them up or not, but I want you to know just as much as they know. Right. So her thing is, is that, you know, the, the, the energy, what I recognize is that the energy, the feminine energy, is about understanding. It's about seeing the future, and it's about receiving the future. Okay. And if there are things that are happening in their life that keep pulling them back to the past, they are miserable. Okay. So if I don't inform her about the stuff that has happened before, then she can't stay in her intuition. She can't receive what's coming. She can't be her divine being because she's now over here, meddling around in all of the chaos and the destruction and the things that I've left behind. A lot of people and I did a lot of work before now. Just forget about the past up into the present moment. You know, you'll hear that in spirituality a lot. Just be present. Don't worry about the past. The past is gone. It doesn't matter. No, it matters because other people feel it still. Other people have emotions tied to it. She has emotions tied to the asshole. I used to be the man of integrity, the lack of integrity that I used to walk in. So if her emotions are still that way and I don't inform her of what's happening or what has ever happened and something sneaks through the door, all of a sudden it's going to rile up and she can't stay in her intuition. She can't stay in her divinity of herself, her whole self. So informing her is extremely important, right? Making sure that, you know, I. I stay as a person of, you know, full integrity with her. Okay. And that everything I say I'm gonna do, I do, right? I don't say, oh, you know, I'll get to it, or whatever. You know, she. If she were to call right now, but answer the phone right now, she knows where I'm at. She knows I'm present, you know, but if she were to, like, not know, you know, there's that, you know, I let her know my location. Like, I'm not sitting here trying to not be where I say I'm not going to be. And it's not about being a. About it. It's just like, she should know what if something were to happen to me, right? She should know, right, Just as much as anybody else. She's my partner in life and she should know everything. Financial situations, what's going on, the conversations I'm having with my son, the conversations I'm having with my friends, the conversations like, you know, some of it, she's like, she will just get it because she knows the way that you're walking. But as you start to go through that healing, informing your partner of all of those level of details, if it's over, informing, it's. It's never enough. Because they just want to know that this, the. The groundwork you're laying is safe, right? So if they were ever to drive backward, they're not going to hit a whole bunch of potholes and blow up the tires on their car. They want to know they can go forward and backward no matter what happens, that they can just be present and that's what's important.
Okay. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah.
Now just slight pushback on. And I actually agree with. It makes sense to. With the whole location thing. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense, but. And it sounds like you and your wife have both done the work.
Yeah.
So it's that. That won't be taken advantage. What if you have a. You're in a relationship with someone where you give them your location. Now it's like, wait, why are you at the grocery store this long?
Yeah.
Why are you at the gym this long? Then they start over, analyzing your whereabouts at all. At all times. You get what I'm saying?
Yeah, 100%.
So. So how do you prevent that?
Yeah. I mean, well, here's the thing. As you go through, as you go through your maturation process and your growth process as a, As a. In a couple and say all of a sudden, I mean, because this did happen when I first, like, hey, here's my location. Why are you at the gym for, you know, 55 minutes when I normally there for 45 minutes? Okay. I'm like, well, babe, the machines were taken up today and it's five o' clock and it's this time. And you know, that's a consistent. You want to come with me next time? Sure, I'll come with you next time. Cool. Let's go. You know, let's work out together. You want to work out together? You know, call me whenever you want. You know, I'll answer the phone. Like, I'm not going to sit there and like, not pick up now if I'm going to call Tim on a call. And for a while there, because we didn't have the trust, because I had violated the trust, I was like, I'd send her a screenshot of who I'm on the phone with here. I have nothing to hide. So as long as I have nothing to hide, me sharing is easy. If I have something to hide, then me sharing is very hard. Right. And I used to have a lot of stuff to hide. So when I would make shit up, oh, let me change the location on my phone and finding apps to do this nonsensical stuff. Right. I mean, I was being such a ridiculous human being at the time and, you know, figuring out ways to manipulate the system once again because I couldn't receive anything. Right. But once I was like, hey, I am this person of integrity, you know, you can show up if you want. Like, it doesn't bother me. And it took. I'd say about six months of going through, just following through and doing this. Yeah. You might get the questions.
And then eventually they. She's like, all right, yeah. He is who he says.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
So it's. It's really reaffirming it over and over and over again.
100. Yeah. It's a rhythm. You know, there's a thing called the law of rhythm. Once you become that rhythm and you sit at the seat of cause, everything, the effects start to change in your life. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
So you. When we met.
Yeah.
You know, that's what you do. And you said, you know, you talk about a lot of different things. And you brought up. You brought up sacred geometry.
Yeah.
What is sacred geometry?
So sacred. Sacred geometry. There's several versions of this. There are old school, like, flower of life, seed of life, everything built off of a circle. Okay. That's like the. I would call the inception of it. What they talk about is that this, the circle is the. Like the original source of God. Okay. And then the circle, when it splits, it creates this Vesica Pisces. Right. Which is like the Venn diagram, the two overlapping circles. Right. And you got that little split in the middle, and then it splits again. So if you ever think about when a child is conceived and the sperm goes into the egg, it starts to do its thing. Right. In the metastasis cells. Yeah. Just like. And it literally is in the same shape as the fire life.
Okay.
So it goes from the 1 to the 2, to the egg of life, to the seed of life, to the flower of life. And then it just keeps doing this thing and it keeps expanding.
Okay. Before you continue, it's. Does the universe do the same thing?
It seems.
It seems like it does.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Energetically, if you. There's a thing called cymatics. A buddy of mine has a. A channel, and he talks a bunch about this. But cymatics do the same thing. You put a frequency inside of water, and it does the same thing. These ripple effects, it creates the same sacred geometry.
Okay. I was. I was thinking, and I guess it's still just a theory, but. Yeah, the Big Bang.
Yeah.
Everything. Boom, explosion. And then when a star explodes, it.
It's same thing.
Exactly.
So check us out. So when. When. Take this back to the book of creation. When God spoke, okay. Where the first. First things God spoke. Right. And then that speaking is the Big bang is the expansion. If we wanted to call that Big Bang a proper theory. Right. And so when God spoke that frequency, that sound, that cymatics created that energy, that flower of life, and it rippled everything out.
Okay, flower of life.
Flower of life, Continue. Right, And I'm going to back it up a little bit, because then you have, you know, if. If the circle is satisfied being a circle, it never needs to expand to another circle. So even in the whole concept around divinity and God, when God actually created the universe, we wanted to call it that. Whatever this is that we're in, it questioned itself. Who am I? What am I? What is this? How does this work?
Okay, you're saying God questions itself.
God questioned itself. Okay, yeah. In order to create what it did. That hesitation with all the energy in the universe is the big bang. Boom. Now, imagine this. They've Also proven in 2022, there is no time and there is no space. There's a Nobel Prize.
They did.
Yeah. 2022. They said space and time are not fundamental to our creation. They. Space and time as we know it, disintegrate at 10 to the negative 33rd centimeter and 10 to the negative 42nd second.
Do we observe this?
We. We physically don't observe it, but we've observed it. We've observed it. Yeah. It's called quantum entanglement. That happens.
So is this countering Einstein's theories?
Yes.
Okay, go ahead. So go explain, please, and explain this for dummies. Okay, yes.
Yeah, yeah. It.
It.
Einstein's. Einstein's theory work to a point, and then it absolves itself. So it's a model that works for us to understand a potential, and then it disappears. And so then what they say is that everything that is fundamental. I'm gonna get to the sacred geometry piece. But everything that is fundamental is. Has to be inside of that 10 to the negative 33rd, like inside of space and time as well as beyond it. Okay, so then what is that? That's just energy. That's frequency. Right. And so that frequency and that energy that is there when God spoke created all of that energy and frequency that ever could have existed, ever possibly will exist. And there's this little container we live in called space and time. And this is the first four dimensions of creation that we're in. So when you start thinking about sacred geometry, like the first four bubbles that show up inside a sacred geometry, or they have. They call them the elemental shapes, the triangle, the circle, and the square. Triangle, Circle, square. Is there one more? I got it on my arm here. Well, the three elemental shapes, the triangle, circle, and square. Okay. And they have a diamond, I believe, is one more of them. But those Fundamental elemental shapes live inside of all of this flower of life, right? And they're estimations or approximations that help us understand, like, how to move through this ecosystem we call Earth and space time, okay? We do it backward as human beings. We say, okay, this, what I. The evidence of my life, this microphone, this, you know, roadboard, my genes, they're very, very real to me because my senses have made me believe that they're real, okay? And they are real to a point, but they also aren't because they're also part of our energetic creation. It's this, like, whole collapsing wave function into reality that's like, oh, this is consciousness. And this is my experience as Sean Clayton. Right? And so from that dynamic. And I'm taking this as slow as. Sometimes I can go bananas, right? I know you.
Please take it slow, okay? Because I need to understand. I also want my audience to understand.
No, I need to understand it. Yeah. Okay. And so in. In the whole concept of sacred geometry, it. It gives us the construction of the universe, okay, In a very simple form. Most of us look at it and say, okay, this flower of life on my arm, right? Tattooed here, that flower of life. Oh, that's a really cool sign. I've seen it on wallpaper and carpets and cups and shows up in certain temples, everywhere every now and then. I don't know what it means, but it's code for us to remember how to work within this ecosystem. Every ancient religion, current religion, every spiritual practice. Buddhism all the way to I Ching, all the way to Hinduism, all the way to Islam. Christianity is inside of this. And I could break the whole thing down for you. Like, it's nuts how it all works.
Quick breakdown.
Yeah.
So, like, I know you got. You got time still. What time is it? We keep.
Let's keep going.
Okay. So, yeah. You said every single religion is.
Is inside of that.
Inside of that.
Yeah. Yeah. How. All right, so check this out. And. And I can send you. Maybe even put this up as a graphic.
Absolutely.
Okay. Have you seen. You seen the Tree of Life? So the Tree of Life is like these. This. It looks like. Like there's a circle at the top, and then it goes down and has, like, three circles down. It has this little thing at the bottom, and then like a. It's like this tree.
Okay.
And it's this.
We'll put up a graphic.
Yeah. And inside of that, all Abrahamic religions stemmed off of the tree life. Okay. Okay. There's a book called the Sea that was channeled by Abraham, and Abraham had sons that went east, sons that went west. He had, you know, Isaac and, you know, the whole thing. And then sons that went west developed. You know, this is all folklore. So this is a model, may not be a reality. This is what I've been taught and what I've read, and inside of all these different ancient texts. The sons that went east developed Hinduism, Buddhism, and all of this. Okay. The sons that went west developed. That's my wife.
You can get that.
Give me one second.
Yeah, for sure.
Hey, honey. Hey. I'm almost. I'm almost done. I'm still in it. I wanted to answer you. Okay. What's wrong? I'm just trying to do all the things per usual. Okay, I'll be there. I'll be there soon, babe. Okay. All right. All right, bye.
We can put that on camera if you want. That's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just. I mean, if. If. Just give me. How much time do you have left?
Let's. Let's go. Let's go another, like, 15, 20. Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah. Explain this to me and then I'll just do my closing questions.
No, no, no, you're good. All right. Yeah. So. So the. The inside of the tree. So he had sons of what? East?
By the way. By the way, we're. We're going to do a part two because it's. I think we're just warming up. Oh, we're just warming up.
Yeah.
Yeah. This is. Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. And so. So Isaac, you know, Isaac, you know, went off and then created, you know, Judaism, Judeum stemmed off Christianity, Judaism, Judaism, stemmed off Islam, like, the whole thing, boom. Like, came out of all this. And every inside of this tree of life, it's instructions for how we walk down this linear path of creation. Okay. At the top of it, there's this thing called keter. And keter is where the light comes in and keter then balances down. And you have masculine, feminine sides of the tree. You have a balanced part of the tree, and at the bottom it's called malhute, where everything goes into the bottoms, is like what the kabbalistic teachings teach. Like, it's a whole thing. And it has 32 different paths that live inside of it. Okay? And inside of the tree of life, there's 64 actual sphere spheres that are inside of that actual. So, like this. This flower of life, there's 64 spheres. So half of that is the linear path of one person. Half of that is the linear path of another person. Okay, 32 and 32 make 64. Okay. And inside of these different trees. If you take your body and you map the tree over your body, it goes from head all the way down to the root. And every single chakra aligns with that as well. So you are literally a walking tree of life that stems out of this. Because if you put the tree of life over this, you can see exactly how it maps itself, okay? So your job is to take the instructions that were left inside of this sphere. Like all, there's 64 different codes that you would go through inside of this. And you have your responsibility is half of it as one person and the other person's responsibilities half of it as another person, which is why there are two man and woman get together, masculine and feminine. Adam and Eve. Wild, bro. Yeah. So you all have embedded code inside of you that once you come together, which is like the Jesus, Mary Magdalene story, when they came together, she unlocked him, okay? As much as of a miracle worker as he was, if he did not have her, he would not have been him. Okay? Every one of us has a Mary Magdalene. Yadisara, as they talk about in Buddha, had his wife, right? Moses had his wife, you know, black woman, nobody ever talks about her. You know, he was in a ditch. She saved his life. Like, it was a whole thing, okay? And all of these different men were unlocked by these divine women. You know, even, like, the Anunnaki were unlocked by these women. They came down and, like, slept with all the freaking women here on Earth because it unlocked something in them to create this massive civilization. If we believe that, that's a story, right? So there's all of this that's out there, that's code that's left inside of this flower that gives us instructions of how we should walk through this life.
Is each of our instructions different?
Our instructions, Each of our instructions is a little bit different because the way that we were projected into this world at the time, like, at the time you were born, there was nobody born at the exact same time as you, at the exact same place as you in the world. Nobody came out of your mother at the exact same time as you, at the exact same space as you. So that specific time and space that you're in, you are very specifically created for you to do a very specific thing. Your code is different than my code, right? But our code all leads to the same code. So collectively, as a civilization, you know, I call it this. Collectively, we are this, like, holistic messiah that are here to save humanity. And we all have very specific instructions. And when we know those instructions, we Walk in this quantum coherence, this divine coherence. And then we have our playbook, our divine purpose that allows for humanity to come together. And so when you do that, then the puzzle piece starts to organize itself. And then the way that the all's intention was, God's intention was, the divine intention was, starts to lay itself out, and you become a piece of that. That's how legacies get loved. This is why, like, the story of Christ is so palpable and people. Steven, I don't care what religion you are. You've heard it, you know it in some regard. There's something very powerful about that story because something he did left an imprint that even brought us to a zero point of time. They weren't counting to zero. Literally, his life made zero point in time. And then everything started spreading out from there. So there was something significant enough about that. You get chills thinking about it. Something significant about that that opened up this container that we all started to organize around this. And even in dogmatic religion, that has put us in a perspective of where we, like, oh, well, Jesus is the only way. Right? Jesus never said that. Right. He said, I am the truth and the light, and the way through heaven is through me. He was just saying, each one of us has that same thing. The way to heaven is through us, individually, ourselves. It wasn't through him.
I believe that.
Yeah. So we have to find the heaven inside of us, and then it shows up outside of us. And then when we collectively do that and hold each other accountable, then that starts to change. So the code that we have, like me being born in May and being. You know, a lot of people don't subscribe to astrology, but me being more in May and being a Gemini, I have a very specific thing I'm supposed to do here. I'm a change agent. Right. If you're born, you know, let's say Capricorn. You're Capricorn.
Let's talk about me.
Yeah. So, I mean, on a Capricorn here, I'll actually. I have an entire grid that I created. I want to show you this. It's nuts. I'll send you this, too.
Okay.
It's wild. This.
Yeah. I just wanted that example so to see if I can get to it specifically.
Yeah. So you are. You are a. You're a cardinal sign. You're an initiator. Okay. So your thing is. Is like, you. You start things, you get things going. You don't integrate things. Your job isn't to integrate. Your thing is to Actually get them going. I've always felt that, yeah, you are, you know, you have a divine grounding, okay, because of the fact that you're an Earth sign. So everything about you is to, like, be super grounded as an initiator, okay? Like, I mean, I literally built this entire chart out about exactly how all this stuff works. Your purpose, the dimension that you live in, you live in this, like, first dimensional space. So you live in dimension one. It doesn't mean that you are not. You have, don't have the capacity to move through all of them. But once you master this one, you become enlightened. So, like, your thing is, is making sure that this, like, earthly spatial realm that we're in, right, like, this is why you do the photography thing, right? You do this whole, like, you have a way with making the world show up, very specific way through light and beauty, all this, right? That's a gift, all right? And so when you can have the world see it that way and you can ground it and you can initiate it, your purpose is to find people in your life that are change agents that can go and like, stir up the dirt so that it expands. Right? Your other job in life is to find people that can integrate it so that the roots go super deep with everything that you're creating. But your job is not to make the root go deep. Your job is not to actually go out and stir up the dirt. Your job is to initiate it once you actually get that fire and then keep moving forward. Okay? And then in addition to that, what's interesting about your sign is that you, your antithesis sign is a libra. So like whenever you are working, but also that libra is supposed to help you unlock things. So it's really interesting.
Really?
Yeah.
How's that?
So, and so if you, in a, if you look at the astrological chart you have, it counts backward, which is really interesting. So it goes from 1 and it goes backward to 12. Okay? The first three signs, 1 through 3, sit above this equator. That's inside of the astrological chart. And then you have six signs that sit below it. Okay? The ones above it all are. And then the last three months of the year, those. There's a thing with digital roots where you take like 10, 11 and 12 and you add one to zero. You get one, you had one to one, you get two, you had one to two, you get three. So the last three signs of the year and the first three signs of the year, okay, are both one through three signs. They both live in the first, second and third dimension. And I'll send you some more stuff. Yeah. Okay. These are the signs that actually have the. The world show up the way that it does. They're the, the, the creators. Practical, huh? No, no, they're not more practical. They just. The material world, you have the ability to make this material world come to life differently than the bottom six signs.
Okay.
The bottom six signs work in like this, I call it like a very astrally plane. And they do a lot of. It's like a lot of spirit work. Right. We all have to work together, right. So that we're able to bring like the spirit into reality. So you are. You have the ability to take information from somebody who lives in like these spiritual planes and then make it show up in life.
Okay.
So that the world can see it. Which is why.
So how does the libra.
So. Yeah, so the libra is also. So the libra lives. So you're one. Right? The Libra is a 10. Okay. And the libra themselves, they. They have a very. So they live on the other side of the plane. Right. And their whole thing is, believe me, this is all like semi not new for me. It's just a lot of information. So they're air. Okay. So they are the air in your life to be able to then take what you're building from a grounding perspective and then speak it out into the world, get it out into the world more often. Okay. So there'll be like a megaphone for everything that you're creating. But both of you live in this first dimensional framework that inside of that dimensional framework, when you guys basically connect, it expands out. So there's like a duality between the both of you that have the ability to ground this first dimension.
Let me ask you this. So from what I've seen, because I don't know a whole lot about astrology, but from what I have seen is. Yeah, you're saying Libra and Capricorn can really help each other. From what I've seen, like, we're supposed to be opposites.
Y' all are opposites.
Okay.
Yeah. You are opposite.
Okay. We're not supposed to be compatible.
You're not supposed to be compatible. But when you, when you learn how to work together, you have you. Your Both of your purpose. Grounded purpose is the same thing. Okay, so I'll go through this really quickly. There are nine dimensions of creation, okay? Each one of those dimensions has a very specific intentionality. And none of them work without each other. Okay? So like, I can't just jump to the ninth dimension and be like, oh, like, this is a thing. So first. First three dimensions are spatial dimensions is why we call three to third three dimensional beings, right? It's like, oh, the first three dimensions are first. You know, the first one's north, south, east, west, up, down, like. And all of them have duality inside of them. And so, like, this creates my reality, the space that I'm in. Then I have to put that in time. The fourth dimension is time. So then I have to take the space that I'm in and I have to recognize it in some aspect of relativity and then move through time that allows me to have the space in motion. Okay? And so you have, like, the fourth dimension. The fifth dimension is spirit. This is why, like, when you get in the spiritual world, like, oh, we're five dimensional beings, because, like, it's no accident that it's there. And so inside of the fifth dimension is when you basically move into the space of, like, understanding that all good and evil is the same thing. It all comes from a divine source. There's no good or bad. Every. All polarity is gone. And then this is like a thing, and it's all unified, okay? 6th dimension is the plan of God that's intended just for you. So once you master the first five dimensions and you start integrating those, your purpose and your plan of God for you literally shows up in your life. 7th dimension is this what I call the bridge from I to we. So it's the seven laws of the universe. It's me going from Sean into this whole we state, okay, and seeing me through your eyes and you through my eyes and through everything else. And then I say, there's a collective we. There's no longer me. That's just us. And then at which point, once I have that, then I go into the eighth dimension, which is the we dimension, where it's like everything is all unified. Imagine, like Cerebro and X Men, and you can kind of go in and then see every fucking possibility that ever could exist. That's like eighth dimension. In the ninth dimension, you take the six, you flip it, turn it to a nine. Is the plan of God for all. And so each one of those has a very specific purpose. Each one of the signs, right, has a very specific purpose to unlock each one of those. And this is why Jesus had 12 disciples, right? Because each one of those 12 had a very specific energetic structure to them that allowed for Christ to be able to walk as if, so that Christ could unlock from the perspective of self, right? Because we can embody all of them, ourselves, in some capacity, which are our disciples. Right. Once we recognize the energy associated with that, that allows us to unlock the plan of God for all. And then at which point, you know, you do your thing. Okay. It's a lot of moving pieces inside.
A lot.
I know, I know, I know, but.
Yeah, yeah, but I. I know you. You got to head out pretty soon, so Let me just Ask me the last two.
Dude.
No, go for it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, like.
Yeah, we could just keep. We can keep going with that. I got a lot of questions about that. But. Do you. So you. You just launched a course.
Yes.
The stuff that you're explaining right now. Because I haven't. I haven't taken your course yet.
Yeah.
Can you learn it in your course?
Yes.
What is the purpose of your course?
The purpose of the course is for people to understand that this world that we're in is very malleable, that we are the creators of everything in our life, is for us to be able to see the code of our creation and then walk in our divine purpose for ourselves. What I'm finding is people are going through this and they're, like, figuring it out. They're like, oh, like, I don't have to hold my trauma anymore. I can actually leave that at the door. I can start to become a cos. Creator of my life. I can see that. Oh, I keep seeing this number over and over again. It means something to me. So we unlock all of that inside of the course so that people can, what I call, you know, kind of read the tea leaves. Like, you can read literally the code of your life on an ongoing basis and no longer think, oh, this shit's happening to me. It's happening for me. I'm creating it for myself. And when you get this thing, you know, the flower of life thing, you understand, like, all of these religions are there to serve us. You understand? Everything that was ever left for us was a gift. Right. You can just start absolving your trauma and become more, you know, what I call powerful from it. Life becomes really easy.
Right, yeah, that makes sense. It's. And I'm become. I've become a lot more interested in that side of consciousness, the universe, everything. Because I'm going to just tell you a quick story about my friend that was just on this podcast. Yeah. I know we're supposed to be 21.
Yeah.
But he had to jump in, I think, yesterday. Yeah, but you're still going to come out as 21.
Yeah.
Said it was super Important to me. Audience doesn't know. But anyways, so my friend, he was on a game show.
Yeah. And months.
Actually, no, his whole life before.
He's.
He's been broken. Yeah, he's been broke for a long time, but he's always had a real heart of gold. He's always really, really worked hard at things. And he just sent me this video that happened months before this game show. But he was talking to the camera saying, you know, I'm tired and I got $200 in my account and I got all this debt. And all you guys are looking at me like, you know, just, drew, go get a job. Go get a real job and stop doing all this. All this stuff. Like, you know, just pretty much conform to what society told you you should be. And he's like, you know what? Fuck y'.
All.
And he had told me that after that point, he got into manifest. Manifesting. He started a 10 minute manifestation journey. He was 10 minutes a day manifestation. And I told him, just release what that was, because I'm gonna. Once you get to the end, I'm like, something happened here. But he just basically started manifesting every day, and it's still putting in the work. Still putting the work in his life.
And.
The people on this show, it's. The show's called Outlast.
Yeah.
It's on Netflix. And they came to him and, hey. And said, hey, you know, we're casting people for this show. Do you want to be on it? And yeah, long story short, gets on the show, or they. They call him like, hey, you know, we. We looked at your profile, we went through your evaluation, everything. We think you'd be a good candidate. Can you come down to Alaska to be a backup?
Yeah.
So I was like, fuck.
Oh, shit.
Like, yeah, I'm not on the show, but I got a chance. Whatever. I'll just come down if anything. It's a trip to Alaska.
Yeah.
So they have him in a hotel room for two weeks, just kind of bored out of his mind, waiting to be called for the show. He's still. Still manifesting every day. Every single day. And at the end of that time frame, producers walk in and they said, hey, we want you on the show.
Yeah.
And just to give you a quick synopsis, they pick 16 people they get to survive in Alaska in a very deserted place. The one who outlasts the team, who outlasts everyone else wins a million dollars. And they break the teams up into four. Four, four, four. Four teams of four.
Nice. And.
His team dwindled down to two people. The team across from him dwindled down to five. You can actually jump from each team, whatever. Anyway, so it ended up being like, five against two.
Yeah.
And they had one final challenge. They win the whole damn thing.
Yeah. Amazing.
They win the whole damn thing.
Yeah.
And he goes into great detail how he manifested it into his life and the trials and tribulations that he actually had to go through. He was crying every freaking day to leave because these guys are starving in Alaska, trying to live off the land with nothing.
Yeah, I can imagine.
And he's still going. He got through it through just manifestation and obviously, like, work and the skills that he acquired to actually do it. But there is a thing about really, really speaking things into your life. Oh, 100 combined with action. And I've. I've. Watching him do that, seeing how Preston's explained it, seeing how different. Just different people in my life, how it's happened to them. I'm really interested in the things that you speak about.
Oh, yeah.
So, bro, it's.
It is.
Your course is intriguing me.
It's. I'll put it like this. It is what he was doing, what Preston's done, Even what. Even what we do with the homeless guy does. Okay. The homeless guy oftentimes has thought a negative cycle, has stuck himself in a loop herself, whatever it might be, and they create that, and that's their life. And that is a version of manifestation. Right. There's also the other version of manifestation where it's like, hey, I want to go through this abundance cycle. And, you know, I. I put out this one class, this one course called ignite your abundance. And what it is, is being able to each. We have our own code. When you know yourself so well, you know how to create from any perspective, you have no weak spots, okay? And when you do have a weak spot, a perceivable weak spot that society can poke on. Like, for instance, for me, you know, I'm this change agent. I'm not an integrator, right? I know that. I'm not an initiator. It's not my thing, okay? I can shake up stuff really, really well. I know my weak spot. So what do I do? I ask for help. I pull those individuals into my life. I know exactly what that should look like. I know where my purpose is from a dimensional construct perspective around the energy that the divine has given me and how I can specifically walk through life, because I'm unique in that. But when I start to recruit those other individuals in my life, just from the energetic signature of myself. They show up and they show up in droves, you know, and it's, you know, all of a sudden I have like, you know, I have like eight people named Matt in my life doing the exact same thing or it's the same person named Josh doing the same thing or another. I mean, it's like the same name of people, same avatar starts to show up in like, replicate and like imagine like the Matrix. It's like this, you know, the good version or the most harmonious version of Agent Smith starts to show up in like these different frequencies. And they're just there to like create the life for you. And then it just becomes magical, you know. And my thing is, I always say go from manifestation to creation, because creation includes the we, manifestation includes yourself. And manifestation will take you down a path of it comes and it goes. Creation, it's always there, right? So when we can create for the benefit of the all, start using instead of I affirmations. I am, I am, say we are. And when you do that, you take your past, present, future version of yourself. You incorporate it into who you are. You take everybody else that's in your life and you include them in your creation. And you never put anything out there that would ever hurt anybody. Because when you say we, you have to really consider not only yourself, but every other version outside of you. And it becomes truth. And then the divine just rolls right into you. Abundance comes in like crazy and you never want for anything thing that makes sense.
That's real. Well, last question. Yeah, I'll let you go. Yeah, and I wrote this one down. If this was your last opportunity to share a message with the world, what would you say?
Dude, you got to prep me with that one.
What would you want everyone to remember? Or what would you want everyone to know or remember?
That everything, everything in our life was created for our holiness and our wholeness. There is no such thing as trauma, just the perception of trauma. All trauma was a gift that you gave yourself to become your whole self. And that we are at a time and space to where our collective ascension. Ascension meaning us coming together, recognizing the gifts of each one of us, recognizing that we created each other, we created each other out of love. Is so important for us to be able to come together as a unified energy. When we do this, we will shift from space and time beings into spiritual beings. We will walk in a different frequency. We will know everything. Time will eliminate itself, but not in the capacity that we will lose anything. We will just start moving. What I call interdimensionally in a space to where we are constantly enlightened and we are working together as this collective humanity that heals the earth, heals the universe, heals the galaxies. We start moving through this. We move through space time as frequency beings, almost like aliens are doing right now. Like, I. I truly think that's an evolved version of ourselves. And when that starts to happen, this coming back of the Messiah that they call that they talk about the spire and remsum, and all of that is gone. And we have this capacity inside of us when we remember truly what we are. And we can love ourselves so deeply that there are no broken parts of us and that every broken part that we've received is really just our holiness. That's. That was the last thing I were to say. That would be it.
I received that.
Yeah.
It's been so good, man. I appreciate you coming on, dude.
Love you, man. This is great.
Love you too, man.
Let's do it again.
Yeah, we'll do it again. All right.
All right, man.
Out.
Welcome to the Sacred Thomas Podcast. The cage. I'm a let. Out the hood. Out the hood. Out the way. Drop. Get out the sheets.
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