editedMonday Coaching Call Facilitated by Tracy Think Feel Act Cycle Aug 11 2025

Good morning. Let's give it another minute while we get everybody in.

It.

Hey, Anna. Hello. How are you? Good. It's good to see you. Good, Good seeing you too. You might be having a hard time joining. It just keeps circling, saying, joining, joining. All right, welcome everyone. We have people from both communities, the dating with Gracie and the becoming self made or self made you community. It's nice to see everyone. All right, I think you got in. Okay, let's go ahead and get started. And if anybody, anybody happens to see somebody sitting in a waiting room, let me know. For some reason Zoom keeps covering up my notification so I have to like.

Go in the only one that can see that.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Okay, well, that is not helpful. Thanks for listening. Let's talk later. I have just calls off and on today. Okay, so we are working from the becoming self made goal planner, which is also a daily planner. If you don't have the goal planner, not a problem. There are worksheets in both communities that you can print and use for purposes of following along. But even if you don't have the worksheet, the the book, this is a really helpful call for you to be very intentional about the decisions you want to make that are going to get you closer to to your goals as you move through this week. So even if you don't have the worksheets, I encourage you to to take a pen and paper and just jot down the answers and really like put some thought behind, behind the questions that I'm going to ask you. Okay? So we do this call every Single Monday at 9:00am Central Standard Time. And the entire purpose is to help you make decisions using the planner and really decide not only what actions you're going to take throughout the week, but what are the, the very small mindset shifts that are going to create really big life changes. So today we're going to talk about kind of these small hinges or tiny shifts in focus, in thinking and in feeling that will open up the big doors that you want in your health, in your relationships, in your career, your dating life. This is not about overhauling your whole life in one week. It's about making the smallest time decisions. This, taking the smallest steps that are almost so easy they're hard not to do and repeating that until the results start to compound. Okay, so I want you guys to think back to last week. What one small hinge, what small shift did you make that created a surprising impact? If you want to throw it in the chat or you want to come off of mute, feel free But I want you just to ponder that for a second. What small shift in focus did you make last week that had a surprising impact? Maybe look back at what some of your intentions were for last week. Maybe look back at the reflection sheet of last week where you made a decision about what you would do differently. I was really focused on staying focused on one thing at a time last week. I tend to, you know, I guess multitask, for lack of a better word. And I have really recognized how that sabotages me. Whereas if I can stay focused on one project at a time and see it all the way through, it made a huge impact in my productivity last week. And so my belief that I was working from was I can stay focused on one thing at a time. And I would notice when that kind of anxiety would start to take over and I would start thinking about all the other things that have to get done. That anxiety was the trigger for me. That was the indicator that my belief had shifted. It had shifted from what I could do, what I was believing that I could stay focused on one thing at a time. It would shift to, there's so many things that have to be done. And the indicator for me was that anxiety that I was feeling. And. And so I didn't make that mean anything. It was just my indicator to regroup and really look at what it is that I'm thinking. Which part of my brain was really in the driver's seat? So anybody have anything? Look at the chat. I don't have anything specific, but I've been away for a while and I haven't been doing this. And just the. Just the impact of sitting down and making a decision about how I'm going to feel about all the various tasks that I've had to do during the week. I mean, it's a huge difference. I felt slightly overwhelmed at the beginning because I just had my granddaughters here. There was so much to catch up with and everything, and just writing it down and then deciding how I was going to feel about certain things because I. When I get overwhelmed, I just want to avoid everything. It was really helpful because it was. It sort of broke it down and changed the way I approached the things that I needed to do. So, yeah. Yeah. So that's such a great, like, source of inspiration about what any of us could try next week. Just being intentional, like, just staying aware of how it is that you're thinking and feeling or deciding, you know, I'm not going to do anything on autodrive. Everything I do is going to be intentional. These Are all really good sources of inspiration, like best practices that you can carry into this next week. So where we start every single week on this call is by reflecting back on the past week and asking ourselves what worked? What worked last week? Now, this can be in your personal life, this can be in your professional life, in your dating life, in your health and wellness. It doesn't have to be. It could be very comprehensive. You can get really focused on one specific area of your life. You can make note bullet points of all the things that worked in lots of different areas. But one of the things that we have in this goal planner is a life assessment. So many of us are like, I don't even know what I want, I don't even know how. I don't know where to even begin to set goals or use something that motivates me to like stay on track during the week. And so we have, it's called a focus wheel at the very beginning of the becoming self made goal planner. And it has you assessing your career, your finances, your relationships, your contribution, and giving your physical environment, fun and recreation, personal growth and health and wellness. So if you are somebody who's feeling a little like unfocused or you're thinking, I don't even know what it is that I want. A great place to start is by asking yourself, what is it that you don't want? You've lived a long enough life. You've certainly had experiences that have given you clarity around what it is that you don't want. And that's a great place to start. So most of us on this call are here because we're in a community that has a focus on getting us to what it is that we want. Most of us have an idea. If you're in the dating with Gracie, you want to change your dating life. Um, the people that are in the becoming self made or self made, you group, they have health and wellness goals, professional goals, relationship goals. So asking yourself, okay, this is what I'm working towards. What about last week got me closer to what it is that I'm working towards, what worked. And I just want you to just quickly bullet point. So we're on the page that says weekly reflection. And I just simply want you to bullet point what worked well last week. Notice how your brain wants to skip ahead and answer the question of what didn't work. That's totally normal. Our primitive brain does that. It's always scanning for danger. If you're somebody sitting here thinking, I can easily pick out what didn't work. What went wrong? Because that feels very normal, very comfortable for you. I'm going to ask you to resist the urge to go there and just stick with me for a minute. That's very normal. Your primitive brain is scanning for all the danger. But I want you to resist the urge to answer that question and first answer the question of what worked well. Did you set an alarm and got up on time for the first time in weeks? Did you get out and take a walk? Did you have the tough conversation? Did you take a couple courses online? What worked well last week? I want your logical brain, the intellect, to take the driver's seat because that will drive the drama to the back seat. We have two parts of our brain. We have the prodigy part that can be very intentional, very purposeful. It can think with intention. And then we have the primitive part that is very strong and is very dramatic and it wants to make a big damn deal about the little things. Okay? So that's all that's happening if you are only able to come up with what didn't work. But I want you to find even the smallest things that worked last week and just bullet point those. Sometimes looking into the past week, looking at your calendar, looking at your phone, looking at the text, looking at the emails, will jog some memories about things that really worked well. Okay, now that we've got intellect in a high place, we really have kicked on the prodigy brain. Now we want to ask the question of what didn't work. And again, we only want bullet points. We want to keep intellect high, we want to keep drama low. So we're not adding any adjectives to the description of what didn't work. We're just being very fact based. What didn't work about last week, just notice if it's almost hard to come up with the things that didn't work. Because when you spend so much time challenging your prodigy brain to stay on track, it almost becomes difficult to find the things that didn't work. Because that requires your primitive brain to like almost come back on board. And we have been like actively training the prodigy brain by going to what worked well first. And if you have a whole list of things that didn't work, that's okay. I just want you to bullet point it. I don't want you to put a big dissertation down or add a lot of drama to it. And now looking at what worked and what didn't work, what are you going to do different this next week? Come up with a one line strategy that you can carry into this next week. That puts you in the power position because you did the work to reflect, collect data about how last week went and what it is that you're going to do different this next week. Most people skip this step and then they end up repeating last week on autopilot. This is where we stop running the old plays that don't score points. Okay, okay, now I want you to turn the page. This is, we're going to just learn a quick little concept and it's just a two degree shift. So many of us think that we have to make these huge leaps in order to get closer to our goal. That is actually not true. And that is a very self sabotaging belief. Like I said, this call is not about overhauling our whole life in one week. It's about making very small decisions and repeating those, the ones that are working for you until you start getting results that are compounding. So they're very small hinges, very small shifts. So if we think about it in the context of just like a 2 degree shift, a plane off by 2 degrees at takeoff will land hundreds of miles off course. The same is true for our focus. A two degree mental shift can take you to a completely different outcome. And that shift so starts with deciding in advance, deciding ahead of time what you'll focus on and how it is that you will feel this week. Ask yourself, what's one area of my life that could dramatically improve if I shifted my thinking by just 2 degrees this week? If you shifted your thinking from I don't have time to I decide what I make time for. That's what it looks like to make a two degree shift or from I'm bad at dating to I'm in the process of becoming someone great at connecting two degree shift. You guys, what's one area of your life that could dramatically improve if you shifted your thinking by just 2 degrees?

Okay.

So now I want you to turn to the weekly intention sheet.

And.

I want you to really think about your goals. Whether you need to reference the smart goals or you know, generally you're just working on your dating life. And I want you just to pick one focus area for this week. One area that you're going to focus on this week. Remember, we're making small shifts, so I typically allow people to have two areas of focus and then you can have four goals within those two areas this week. One focus. Notice how your brain is like squealing right now. It's like no, no, no, no, no, no. I have, I have to focus on my career and I have to Focus on my health and wellness. One focus. This week we're talking the next seven days. We're going to put all of our focus on this one area. Okay, so you're deciding which area you're going to focus on. And now I want you to ask yourself, what are the small shifts within that area that I can make? What are the 2 degree pivots that I can make in that one area? Now, there might be multiple in your dating life. Maybe one small shift is just logging on to the community and engaging one time, or maybe it's getting through the first course, or maybe it's updating your dating profile or getting Gracie to audit it for you. One small shift for those of you who are really working on your health and wellness. And you're asking yourself, okay, what are the small shifts that I can make? Adding water. It's amazing what being hydrated can do for you. You start thinking more clearly. Your joints don't ache as much. Your skin looks better. Like small, small shift. Adding 8 more ounces of water each day this week. Okay, we're looking for those two degree shifts. And if you nail just one of those, you're going to feel momentum. You're going to feel the momentum of what it feels like to be in that state of becoming. You get to declare, you get to shift your identity from somebody who didn't know what they wanted, didn't know how to do it, to somebody who's becoming. Because you've now just caught momentum by nailing that one thing. So on that weekly intention sheet, it says goal one, goal two, goal three, goal four. I want all those goals. If you're going to pick four goals, they have to do with the one area of focus. The goals are just the small shifts that you're going to be making. Okay, so it might be water, it might be getting out for a walk, it might be setting time with the person that you've been meaning to have a conversation with. Just setting up the time, setting the date. And then once you've declared what those little goals are, break it down. Break it down into the steps that are so easy it's hard not to do. That's where it says actions to take. What are the actions that are going to get you there? Make it so stupid easy that you're like, okay, this is almost impossible not to do. Break it down into, like, extremely digestible steps. Our brain wants to make it really hard and dramatic. Don't do that. The goal is to catch momentum. And if you nail one of these things, you're now in momentum. Anybody have any questions on that or need any help? Yes, Dennis, that's exactly what I mean. You can't do everything at once. Believe me, I've tried and it backfires on me every time. I might be able to get it done, but I'll say this is that it's not done at the same level of quality. It's more half assed. So I stay focused on one thing and I am exponentially more productive when I do that. And I'm producing at a much higher level when I do that. I can see that more quality of work. Yeah. So I love that. I mean that was something that I focused on last week and when I decided what I'm going to do different this week, it was actually nothing different. It's continue to do that. I also have been really working on this feeling of knowing like a feeling of conviction of like who my future self is, what, what I've already accomplished. Instead of feeling like I'm chasing that dream, I'm really working on this like vibration, this knowing of that is what's in my future. I can actually see my future self living it. And that, that feeling of knowing versus chasing is so different. It's so different and I love it and I have to just be really intentional about that. And so that's the other thing I'm personally carrying over into this week.

I just have a question.

Yeah. For a comment, I guess. So I, I value achievement and accomplishment and so when, when you're, when you're mentioning, you know, let's focus on one thing, my, my achievement and get shit done brain is, is kind of like out of whack. So how do you counteract that? Yeah, I, I counteract that by just being really compassionate and empathetic for the fact that my brain operates in that way like it is believing that something has gone very wrong. If I focus on one thing versus all the things and instead of like beating myself up or allowing myself to go down, to go down that road of skepticism, this will never work. I take a completely different path and be like, of course, of course. That's what my primitive brain, my fear based brain is offering me. Of course I'm skeptical. This isn't my normal pattern of behavior. So it's not changing the thought or the feeling or the actions that in a strategic, very like tactical way or even on topic of the thing, it's more about like, it's like neutralizing and normalizing the thought I'm actually having instead of trying to change it, it's just allowing it to be there and normalizing it because that opens up all a lot of room for like the next new idea. So it's a very like unconventional approach and it's probably different than what you thought I was, how I was going to answer, but that's truly how I do it. I really tackle a lot of these fear based thoughts from a place of compassion and empathy because it is so normal. And if I continue, I also know it's very self sabotaging. And so I've just decided that I'm going to allow those thoughts to be there. And instead of reacting from those thoughts, I'm going to respond in a compassionate way. And that compassion, the vibration of compassion that runs through my body really opens up like space for new ideas. But if I went into a reactive mode and I started beating myself up or I believed that primitive brain thought and I allowed like skepticism to run through it shuts down all creativity. It like just slams the door shut. So I really try to take these small steps and be like, you know what? So I'm just going to try to be compassionate and empathetic, recognize how normal this is just for today and let's just see what happens. That's my approach. Anybody else have anything that they want to add to that? Any other questions? Okay, so now I want you guys to turn to the daily. Well, the next two pages are the weekly to dos and just a free write page. The weekly to dos. This is a page that I want you to compile any non goal related to dos. You've heard me say it a million times. Our brain is not a vault. Our brain is a processor. If you treat your brain like a vault and you keep all of the to dos just for floating around in your brain, it feels very chaotic. So I encourage you to have this running list of weekly to do's that are non goal related. Mine last week was, it was the first time in weeks that I actually got through all of them. I literally, as I looked at it, I was shocked that I got through everything and I had carried over so many things from previous weeks. But last week was just a hugely productive week because I stayed focused on one thing at a time. And now this week I'm traveling so I don't have a lot of non goal related to do's. But this is where you would put, you know, doctor's appointments, gotta get to the grocery store, gotta mail out that package, gotta have the conversation with your cpa, whatever it is non goal related. So you are very organized in the way that you are tracking the things that have to get done. You're focusing on the one area of life that you want to focus on and what those small pivots, those small shifts are going to be in that area. And then you're also tracking all the non goal related things. This is how you can stay organized and really keep your brain available for processing the emotions. Okay, notice that is something that probably does not fall on your to do list. Processing emotions, what do you mean? It's a huge part of living you guys. We only experience life through our feelings. If you stay aware of your feelings and how those feelings are driving your behaviors, you start to win. But if you have no awareness of that, if you are not actively intentional asking yourself what is it that I'm feeling and why? We just stay in autopilot and almost always sabotage what it is that we really want. Okay then like I said, the brain dump page is just a free write special space. It's a space that I come back to almost every single day and it's just the place where I have like the little self coaching session asking myself, what am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling that way? What am I feeling? I look at the bookmark that lists all sorts of emotions or I look, I reference the front of the book where it has the self sabotaging feelings and has the self made feelings. I find what it is that I'm actually feeling in this moment. Most of us have a very limited vocabulary of feelings or of emotions. Somebody says, how are you feeling? Fine. Good, bad, right? There's a massive spectrum of emotions and just getting familiar with those emotions is so helpful in heightening your awareness in your ability to process. So I do that little exercise every single day. How am I feeling? Why am I feeling that way? The answer to why is what it is that I'm thinking, what thought, what little sentence is running through my head that's actually generating that feeling. So good to know. Takes about 30 seconds to do this every single day. Huge step in processing, in staying intentional. So that's how I use that page. Now the next seven pages are the daily planners. Here is how you are going to change the game in making progress towards what it is that you want. This daily planner is nothing like the schedule. Part of it is nothing revolutionary. It's just blank lines that allow you to customize what your day looks like. So I encourage you on the left hand side under today's schedule, I encourage you to just put the times that you have commitments. So 9am Central Standard Time, you're on the reset call. 11am I have a coach call. Noon, I have a a vendor call. One o', clock, I'm editing the podcast. Those are my commitments. Five o', clock, I'm having dinner with my husband. Those are my commitments for today. I just quickly list them out. I usually skip spaces so I can clearly see where my white space is. And once I have a feeling for where my white space is, and I know a lot of you do this electronically, I encourage you to transfer it to paper. That pen to paper exercise is a grounding technique. It really grounds you in where you're at today and it really helps you make some intentional decisions. So I encourage you, even if you have this on a calendar, digitally transfer it. A lot of you ask me, okay, well you know, I'm at work between 8 and 5 and there's so many things that I'm committed to doing. Do I really need to list all those out? You don't. You can, you could block that and just be 8 to 5 at work. But I promise you there's things that are bookending that that are more personal and I want you to list those. But now that you're grounded in what today looks like and you can clearly see where you have the white space, one of the most strategic plays you can do right now. One of the best decisions you can make right now is what from your actions, your goals, the actions that you've listed, what could you fit in today? If you have white space, what is it that you could accomplish? What is it that you could schedule? Or maybe look at your weekly to do list? The non goal related to do's. Is there something right now that you can decide will fit in to into that white space? If there's something that you know that you want to get done today but you can't quite figure out how you're going to schedule it. But before your head hits the pillow, it's going to get done. That's what goes into that daily to do box. These are the unscheduled things but yet the things that you're committed to getting done, traveling tomorrow. So mine is like packing. I need to record something before I my head hits the p pillow. I need to alter a reservation. None of those things. I know exactly what time I'm going to be able to get them done. But they're going to get done today before my head hits the pillow. So they go into that box. But better yet, if you can schedule it, anybody have Any questions on that? Okay. All right, so buckle up because this is what is revolutionary about this daily planner. And I really encourage you to pay attention because this is a significant difference from how you have always planned out your day. So on the right hand side of this sheet, and even if you're not working off the sheet, you can still execute on this concept. I want you to pick three events from your day. They can come from right off the schedule. It could come from a goal that you have set, an area of focus. It could be a person that you know you're going to come across today. But three events, three circumstances upcoming in your day, you pick three. The easiest thing to do is just look at your schedule and transfer three of those line items over. So I might take the coach call for event one, the editing the podcast for event two, and dinner with my husband for event three. Other people will use the goals that they're working towards. Weight loss. You could pick that upcoming date. If you have a date on Friday night, you could pick that. Even though that's not something that's falling on today, it's impacting your day because you are absolutely having thoughts about that event that are creating a feeling. The only reason you feel anything, any emotion, any vibration that runs through your body is because you're thinking something. Thoughts create your feelings. And here's the kicker. Feelings drive your behaviors. Feelings are what are responsible for your actions or your inactions. So when you buy into that framework that thoughts create your feelings and feelings drive your behaviors, it makes perfect sense that if we want to create sustainable change or we want to create results, optimal results in our life, we're not going to focus on the actions. We're going to get to the root cause. If thoughts create feelings and feelings drive actions, focusing on the actions is not going to create sustainable change. But if you focus on the root cause, the thoughts, now we're getting somewhere. So you look at the first event and you ask yourself at that event, how do I want to feel? This is where the bookmark comes into play. You can just peruse all of these motivating, inspiring type self made feelings. Or you can peruse the front of the book where we have a whole chart of self made feelings. It also offers you some suggested thoughts. It also offers you a whole column to add your own thoughts so you don't have to recreate the wheel. But all I want you to do is look at that first event and ask yourself, ideally, how do I want to feel? Do you want to feel inspired, determined, optimistic, fulfilled? Free, creative, resilient, courageous, Satisfied, peaceful, abundant. How? How do you want to feel? This. This is so counterintuitive to anything that we've ever done. We've always been taught to make decisions about our actions. I'm teaching you to make decisions ahead of time about how it is that you want to feel. It changes the game. So now you've decided with intention how it is that you want to feel at that moment. Now you're going to support yourself, you're going to do yourself the favor of deciding ahead of time. Because there's way lower stakes ahead of time, right? We're not in the moment. So ahead of time we've decided how it is that we want to feel. Now we ask ourselves the question, what believable thought creates that feeling? What believable thought creates that feeling for me? And you write it down. This becomes the playbook for your day. You guys, you can do this way more than just for three events. You could stay intentional about every moment of your day. You'd be very tired at the end of the day because it takes a lot of mental energy to do that. But this is what it looks like to get into the mental fitness gym and do the reps every single morning. You start by making decisions about how it is that you want to think and feel so that you get the outcomes, you get the self made results that you're going for. So for the coach call, I want to feel. I want to feel fulfilled. And now I have to ask myself, okay, what believable thought creates that feeling? I am living a life that aligns with my deepest values and purpose. Now I can write that, I can put pen to paper and I can write that down. I have to ask myself, like on a scale of 1 to 10, how believable is that? How believable is that for me? Maybe it's not out of 10. But is it possible that I could live a life that aligns with my deepest values and purpose? Even tweaking it a little bit, it's possible. Or I'm becoming the person who lives a life that aligns with my deepest values and purpose. That takes what may have felt like an 8 to a 10. And now I have to. Those are thoughts. I have to practice those thoughts to really like cement them into a belief. A belief is just a thought that you're thinking over and over and over and over, typically on autopilot. So I have to heighten my awareness around and find the evidence for how much do I believe that and really focus on that maybe, like, ask myself, okay, in what ways am I living a life that aligns with my deepest values and purpose? Like, start a list so that I have the evidence, so that I make it more believable versus just saying I want to feel fulfilled. Here's the sentence. And moving on. Right? That's just checking the box. We're here to actually do the work, to actually create the results. And when I ask you, what believable thought creates the feeling, like it has to be believable. So ask yourself, is that believable? If not, then what is believable that creates that feeling? Any questions on that? That's why at the beginning of the book, we have the charts, the self made feelings chart, and it actually has a whole column next to it, next to all those self made feelings that asks you for your own believable thoughts so that you don't have to recreate the wheel. You can just ask yourself, okay, what actually what believable thought for me creates love, creates empathy. And then just write it down. My suggestions are in the column next to it. But that might not work for you. And so I wanted you to have a space to collect your own thoughts so that in the heat of the moment, every single day, if you've decided over and over and over, I want to feel unconditional love. Okay, what's the thought that really helps me get there? There's no shame in turning back and referencing the work that you've already done. Okay. Okay. So maybe your event was sending a message on a dating app. What is it that you want to feel? Maybe you want to feel playful. That's one that I always go for. Playful. Ask Gracie. We record the podcast every single week, and I'm like, I want to be more playful with it. I want to have more fun with it. I want to be. Or an ad that we're recording. I want it to be more fun. Okay. Playful is a good one. I love that feeling. It vibrates awesome through my body. So maybe your thought is, I'm here to enjoy the conversation, not pass a test. Maybe that makes you feel more playful. Or maybe one of the events that you have is a morning meeting with coworkers and you want to feel calm authority. The thought might be, I lead by example in every interaction. So this is what changes the game. This is what changes the moments within your day. This is what collectively changes the day and then collectively changes the weeks and the months. And ultimately your life is when you take responsibility for these moments and you decide ahead of time. How it is you're going to think and feel. The compounded effect creates a self made person. Somebody who takes responsibility for all of their results, whether they're intentional or unintentional. Somebody who makes decisions ahead of time when the stakes are low, when you're not in the moment, when you're more likely to be reactive. If you make these decisions ahead of time, you're far more likely to be responsive. Huge difference. Reactions come from our primitive brain. Responses come from our prodigy brain. We want to stay in the intentional response space. So this week I want you to practice turning up that mental thermostat by just one notch. I want you to take a couple very intentional steps. I want you to identify one thought pattern that cools your momentum. Is it self doubt? Is it overthinking? Is it guilt? Is it shame? And replace it with a thought that's one degree warmer. I'll figure it out. Instead of, I don't know, let's try on the thought. I'll figure it out. We just added a feelings ladder in both communities that does just this. It's offering you the thoughts that are just one degree warmer. They're the, they're the one degree shift. So it's not a jump from, you know, I'm so defeated or I don't know how to date to I'm, you know, the best date known to mankind. Like, that's not believable. You need to ladder up and you need to start where you're at. So identifying how it is that you're feeling defeated. And then the feelings ladder offers you thoughts that are just like 1 degree warmer, but it's starting where you're actually at. Okay, I encourage you guys. I'm recording a tutorial on it today that will be inside both communities. Okay. This is how so I've just taken you through. I've walked you through what one day of daily planning looks like. I've obviously taken a lot of time to do this. This doesn't have to take a lot of time each day day. But I wanted to really go slow and hold your hand so that you can feel confident, inspired, curious about what it would look like for you to do this tomorrow and then again on Wednesday and then again on Thursday. Making decisions ahead of time, not necessarily about where it is you're going to be and what it is you're going to be doing, but how it is that you want to think and feel. That's what I want you to stay focused on and I want you to commit to doing this work. This is what the mental fitness looks like. Going to the mental fitness gym and doing the reps of staying intentional. This is what it looks like. It looks like opening up the book for 10 minutes at the start of every day and making these decisions. I know it's a hard sell. I know it's totally different than what you're used to. I promise you it pays dividends. It changes lives. So I encourage you to come back here next week, share any sort of aha's, any sort of takeaways, experiences you've had, and work again. Take advantage of the time to work out, be intentional about your upcoming week, any questions that I can answer, any aha's, or any comments. Where do we find the feelings letter? I know, Jen. I've had it on my list to give it to you. It is actually in our community under classroom. Okay, I was just trying to find it. Yep. So if you go into school, into our community, and you go into classroom, it says the thoughts and feelings library. Oh, yeah, I see it. Okay, so there is a video in there. I'm going to. That one's. I got some feedback on it that it could be better. So I'm going to rerecord it. But the feelings ladder and how to use it. And we broke it into the low vibe thoughts, and there's 22 feelings. Okay. So they range from fear and grief all the way to the 22nd, which is the highest, which is joy, appreciation, empowerment, freedom, love. And so the whole concept of this is you're moving one rung at a time so you're recognizing where you're at on the feelings ladder. Are you in a low vibe feeling right now of fear, guilt, jealousy, anger? Or maybe a mid vibe, which is doubt, boredom, overwhelm, frustration. Maybe you're in a rising vibe, which is more contentment, hope, belief, optimism. Maybe you're already in a high vibe. Passionate joy, love, freedom. But recognizing where you're at on the ladder is the huge first step. And then you want to, like, pinpoint exactly how it is that you're feeling. Okay, so those are kind of like the segments of the ladder, but maybe you realize that you're feeling revenge. That's the feeling like, and it gives kind of a definition so you can kind of check it. So revenge holds the desire for justice or power, but also keeps you emotionally tethered. These thoughts open the door to letting go of that tether. So here's the thoughts that you would try on if you're feeling this like revenge. So maybe It's. I want them to know how much they hurt me. That's real. Or maybe the best way to prove that I'm okay is to be okay. Or I don't want to stay in their story, I want to write my own. Or I can move forward even if they never get it. Or I don't need to lose myself just because they lost themselves. I'm not here to match their energy. I'm here to rise above it. Okay. Notice how these thoughts are like one or two degree shifts. You're feeling revenge and you're feeling very tethered to it. That is going to sabotage you. So all we're wanting to do is make these 1 degree shifts so you get real honest with yourself about what it is that you're currently feeling. And then you start to try on these thoughts that are listed underneath that emotion because Those are the 1 to 2 degree shifts. Does that make sense?

Yeah. So it's not like you're trying to go from revenge to joy every single time. You're just picking the feeling that you feel in the moment and then looking at how you can tweak the thought.

Yeah. And it's, it's a. It will be a pretty significant tweak. It's. But it is totally meeting you where you're at. So you're feeling this emotion and it's going to pretty significantly, significantly change the thought. But it's meeting you where you're at. It's not significantly changing the thought from a feeling of revenge to joy. It's just a little. It's a two degree shift.

So after you go, we'll just stick with the revenge part because that's always fun. When you go through, through the revenge thought steps, do you say, do you just sit with that or do you say how do I feel now? And then pick another feeling? And then it's that mid vibe, rise and stuff.

Yep. Yep. So you might not move from like a low vibe to mid vibe. You might go from low to just another degree of low. But sure, yeah, the ladder. That's why they're. That's why they're numbered. So the next one, it's. It's crazy. So I used to get coached by a master coach that really believed in this concept and really challenged me to, let's say I was feeling revenge. She really challenged me to move to hatred. I'm like, what? I don't want to feel hateful. She's like, no, no, that's moving up the ladder. And so she's like, it Actually feels better than revenge. Now that takes a lot of self awareness to notice that the vibration is actually lightening up. But, and so for me, like, maybe I'd want to move to jealousy, or maybe I'd want to move to insecurity or guilt or unworthiness. Like, or maybe I did move up to the next, like to the mid vibe. So yes, to answer your question now it's once you're believing and you're actually generating the lighter emotion. Now ask yourself, okay, now what is it that I'm feeling and finding so.

It'S okay to move down the ladder?

You. I don't think you would. You're wanting to move up.

Okay, because hatred, jealousy, insecurity, those are below revenge, just to stick with the example. And that's moving down technically, right?

Hatred. Okay, so low vibes are like. The low vibes are. The lowest vibe is vibration, is fear, grief, depression, despair. Then the next rung up is insecurity, guilt, unworthiness. The next one up is jealousy. So we're moving up the ladder.

Okay. I thought your, your coach person said go from revenge to hatred, which is down. If we're looking at the. Yes, I started the list. Yeah, okay. Or you're saying like, it's okay to stay within the range that you're in. That's what it is.

Okay. Yeah, it's fine to stay within that. You're just wanting to identify where are you now? And then this ladder gives you the suggested thoughts that are going to lighten up that vibration of wherever you're at.

Okay. Okay, Sorry. I was looking at it at like 16, 17, 18, 19, not just like in the range. So, yeah, it's okay.

Hence the reason I've been asked to rerecord the video to make it even more clear. And I, I'm such a visual person, so I really wanted to have the ladder vertical and to show it. And it was very difficult to get that on, you know, to get it to fit because it's 22 emotions. So it is. We broke it down. I broke it down in the membership by lowest vibes, you know, into sections. Low vibe, mid vibe, rising vibe, high vibe. If you want to see the ladder from segments, that's. That's the graphic. But I couldn't figure out how to get the all 22 rungs in a visual.

Yeah, you'd have to make the, the feelings boxes really small and it might.

Yeah, lose.

Yeah, I see.

Okay.

Okay, but those, but the, the first page is just the four examples of each vibe. And then you can go down further for additional vibe feelings. Okay.

In my video, I actually scroll through all 20 and show you, but.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is interesting.

Yeah, it's very, very, very, very helpful.

Yeah.

I hope that you guys really make use of it. It's. It can be a game changer. All right, that is what I have for you. Coaches, we're on a call at 11. I think that's it. Anybody have any questions? Okay, awesome. Hey, Kara, can I chat with you for a sec?

Yeah, sure.

Bye, guys. Let me stop the recording. Know how to stop just fathom? I don't know how to stop a fathom. Oh, right, Right there.

I think you have to go into. Into fathom. Do you want to just start another thing?

I mean, it's not. I can. I can just delete this part too. On fathom. It's not a big deal. I was just. Yeah, I wanted to connect with you. We have. Gracie has a pretty big launch happening next week and it's a new offer and so it's going to require some website changes along with. And we also have the self made man dating journal out this become or the self made mind and body is coming out. So those are going to need to be added to the website. So I asked ChatGPT, like the next. The next model. The model five to the five.

The cold model.

Yes. I asked it to review my website and I said, can you. I said, this is built in WordPress. I said, can you tell me how to make upcoming changes? I gave it. I said, for example, these are some of the changes I'm going to need to make. And it came back and it said, I can tell you're using elementor. Or it said, are you using elementor? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that I can give you the codes to make changes. I can't make them for you, but I can give you the codes to make the changes and give you the steps. So I just thought if I can get the.

The code. Like. Like CSS code?

Yeah. Yeah. Is that what it uses? Css?

Well, that's what you would use. That can get complicated. Are you just looking for like text changes or like a full page or.

It. I don't know exactly. Gracie's. Gracie's is probably going to be more text changing. Like I want to change the self. Where it says, start with a decision, eliminate self sabotage, leverage strengths, finish with a decision on the homepage. Yep. Okay. I want it to say, start with you, eliminate self sabotage, leverage your strengths and then finish with an action. What Finish with one simple action. Okay. It is minor. I would say it's probably more text than anything else. But I also don't want to rely on you to do that. So I was just trying to figure out, okay, how am I going to do this? And obviously the very first step is I have to have to have the login credentials.

So I'm like, oh, okay. So are you looking to change the actual wheel or the boxes that flip out?

Let me get in there quick.

Because the wheel is an image that I created that's actually like a little complicated. Little dilly Bob.

Yeah. Okay, so like the get what you want with ease. I have a new tagline, so I'm just looking at the website and above the fold I saw that you did the free seven day trial, which is, which is perfect. But I think I want to change. Get what you want with ease to. I want it to make. I want it to be more about decisions. And I had, I was.

You mean like the. A decision so easy it's hard not to do like something like that?

Well, like, like I've really been thinking a lot about. I know get what you want with ease is compelling to the user, but I also constantly ask myself, like, how do I explain myself and what it is that we do? Like, I teach people how to make life changing decisions. That's what I think I'd probably. How I would sum it up. Okay, now of course that came through from my head and maybe there's a better way of saying that. But so, and yes. So that wheel, it would instead of start with a decision and finish with a decision. Like really like starting with them. Like start with you. What is it that you want? Why do you want it? So it's not changing the concept at all. It's just changing the verbiage. Because it is important for, for me to get the clients to understand. When you're making a decision or setting a goal or deciding what it is that you want, it's so important that this is what you want. It's not because this is what your mom and dad want for you or your boss wants for you or you think culture or your, your culture, your community wants this for you. Like you've got to really do the, the deep inner work to decide what it is that you want and why you want it. So starting with you I think is more meaningful and makes more sense.

Could it be more of like a.

Start with the why?

Because if, if you want it to like, if. Why you want, like I want to lose weight I want to lose weight for my family or my dog or my husband. Like, that's not really a good answer. So unless the why relates to.

Yeah, personal.

You know, like, I think. Yeah, I think we can tweak it. This is. This, this section is a little complicated to. To get it the way it looks. But if you want, I can do just like a $50 an hour rate and you can get everything over to me and I could just do really quick changes instead of you spending hours. How to figure it out? Because a lot of this, the code is already built in. So unless you're doing something really, really tricky, which there is some of that built into the website, I just can't remember where the code is. I'd have to go in and look at each section. I can just go in and make the changes really fast if that helps. The other question that I have too is, do you want to create a Self Made man page or a Self Made man section? Like what we kind of had previously?

Yeah. So on the Dating with Gracie.

Oh, the Self Made man book would be on her page. So it would just be a section then.

Yep, yep.

Okay. Okay.

Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, it would almost like just duplicate. If we took the. On the homepage, don't we have a section of get the goal planner down.

Where the plants and the three.

Yeah. So it would almost be duplicating like that, but adding it to her, to the Dating with Gracie page.

Okay. Yeah.

I mean, honestly, I have all the images for it and stuff like that. And then. Okay, that. And then what I was thinking is on the home page, these three books, I think I'll have my designer make one be, you know, becoming self made. And then the spines of the other two is going to be Self Made man and then Self made, Mind and Body. So it's showing like three different books. And it can. The button could go to our Amazon homepage where you can buy all three.

Okay. Yeah. And if you want, I can always do those really quick for you too, because that's, that's easy enough to do to change the spines, but we would just need to change the front book because.

Oh, okay.

Okay. So it'd be Self made becoming Self made, Self Made man, and then whatever the third one was that you.

Self made Mind and Body. Yep. Self made, Mind and body. The blue one would say Self Made Man.

Okay. If you want to just drop a Google Doc into our shared folder and add all of the changes there. That way I could just like rapid fire go in, spend a couple Hours updating it really fast, you know, like, make the bulk changes just to save you time. Because I could probably move a lot quicker in the website than you trying to sit there and figure it out. I know that you can, but just to. Just to save you some effort.

Awesome. I'll probably do that. Then tomorrow on the plane, just get it into the Google Doc and.

Okay.

If for some reason I don't. Because we're Gracie's next offer, I'll have it by this week. So that was the other thing. I was just kind of waiting a little bit until I knew I had the exact offer and then kind of thought through it to figure out, okay, what do we want on the website? I don't. I honestly don't think a lot of her clients go to this website. They're going the funnel off of social media doesn't tell them to go to this website. So I'm just kind of covering my base. I just don't want the website to get out of date.

Yeah, yeah, I've. I've been meaning to talk to you about that too, because we need to start adding blogs back in, and I've been working on the ones that we had talked about. Was it 20, 24 blogs that we were working on redoing? We didn't get them all in, and that was on the list of things to do. So I've been working on getting those finished and updated, because for SEO, we have to keep that active. And you guys were really active with the blogs on the old page, but now it's just kind of stop. You know, like things shifted. It got crazy. So we kind of need to get that going again. And even if that's something, that's something that I can show you how to upload. Unless you want to write them and you want me to just like, batch upload and schedule them, you know, like once a month, I just sit down for an hour or two and just batch upload everything. But I definitely want to get that going again because that will keep the website fresh too.

Okay.

Yeah. And I mean, it would be helpful to have Gracie drive traffic to this site, especially through Instagram, because I don't know if you guys have heard, but Instagram is now become a searchable tool with Google. So if you play your SEO right in Instagram, you'll become more popular if people just search like matchmakers or dating tips for men or something like that. If. If you do the proper things on Instagram, you could show up in Google search now, which is just wild.

I wonder if there's a way that we can have the website linked without being confusing with the call to action. Because the call to action for her is trying to think what is the call to action? The call to action is one of her freebies on almost everything and that drops them into a free community on school.

Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of hard because I know that she, her web, her website technically is school.

Yeah.

So yeah, it really just depends if you want to continue to drive traffic there or if you want to drive traffic to. To self made you. And you could have the two interlinked. You know, like her call to action button on her homepage goes to school. Cool. You know, she could easily have something that says for more information, go to my website and link it here. And then you could potentially do like a, like a datingwithgracie.com but then it Daisy chains over to self madeu.com datingwithgracie.

Yeah.

And then she could. We could have. We could add a resources page that has a list of all of her free resources that isn't visible on the website, but it's a page that if you click the right buttons or something, you can get to it. You know, like the signup pages for things, you know, they're. They're not visible on the site, but they're. They're there. They exist.

Yeah.

So that's other kind of things that we can do. But yeah, we can kind of figure that out.

Okay. Yeah. That gives me a lot to think about. It's.

Yeah.

It's just so complicated. I feel like. Yeah, you have people who, you know, want to know the bigger picture. Like the single guys, they could give a shit about self made you. They don't care about me, you know, until I get involved in their world from a coach. Coaching standpoint. But they don't care about how dating with Gracie falls into self made you. Yeah. Every once in a while we do get somebody who does care and it's typically like a sponsor or it's a, it's somebody bigger, you know. And so I feel like this covers us on that. Like. Okay. And so from that regard, like it makes me think on her end, like in school, in the free community, there's got to be something that does link back in case, you know, they do want to know the bigger picture.

Yeah.

Or.

Well, and I know that her media, her medium really lies heavily on video because it's all about social media, you know. The other thing she could potentially do is drop in dating with Gracie blogs that are specific to here that would help interchange the two. So if you, if you're more of a reader, if you really want to deep dive into this topic, check out my blog, that sort of thing.

Yeah.

And we can create a whole dating with Gracie category, etc. Etc. So there's kind of ways, but it really just depends, like is this page just there to have it there or does she actually want to do something with it or is her entire focus strictly on social media and school?

Yeah, yeah. So yes, right now I would say she would say yes, it's social media to school.

Yeah.

And that's working. So there would be no way to convince her to do anything different.

But yeah, no, that's fine. And blogging is, it adds hours, you know, to your already busy schedule. So.

Yeah, but I do think, I mean, we still have the vision of moving a lot of her audience into self made use because they do get a strong like sense of what it looks like to like use our concepts to improve their dating life. But once they've done that, now it's like, now we can start seeding. Okay. If you want to change your professional life, you want to change your health and wellness, you want to change, you know, whatever.

Yes.

They view is the next step. And so we are, we're constantly thinking about, okay, what's that gonna look like? And so I do love this website as the way that like pulls it all together and shows how it all fits together. I just don't think it's just not getting the kind of traffic, but in my mind it's, it's affording me this like piece that there is a place that if somebody wanted to really understand who we are and how this all fits together, that exists.

Yeah. Yeah. And if you're, if you're working on the fly and somebody says what do you do? And then they want to know more. Well, go to my website.

So.

Yeah. And nowadays if you don't have a website, you're just kind of floating around, you know, unless you really do have like an E commerce business that relies heavily on social, but that's not always reliable. You know, when Instagram went down last year for a day, people lost millions across the board. And so you always kind of want to have that, that backup. Yeah. So, okay. Yeah, I mean if you want, I, I would charge just $45 an hour for this. And like I said, I could just batch everything together and move really quickly through the system and get all those updates you needed. And we can double check the text just So I understand what the. Your new ideas are before I go in and implement and everything too, just to help you out. But then I'll make sure that. Let me double check the. The passwords and everything and I'll get that sent over to you and then I'll record a video on. Like, if you wanted to start adding new blogs and stuff by yourself instead of relying on me, I can show you how to go in and do that. Okay. Yeah. Because of the template that I built out, it's. It's pretty simple. So.

Okay, perfect.

Yeah.

Yeah, great. Thank you so much.

Yeah, no worries.

Like, like on my daily to do list, I'm like, oh, my God, I gotta connect with all these different people. And this was a big one. And I'm like, not that I think I'm going to make significant, you know, progress until I really fully understand her offer, but this conversation really helps me a lot. Like.

Sure. And I know that she avoids calls, but if she wants to get on a call and run through it, so we're not brokering the conversation, just let me know. So I'll be out on Friday. It's Matt's birthday on Thursday, and so we're gonna go do stuff. Yeah. But yeah, help me to help with any changes. And, And I definitely, like I said, I want to get the blogs up and running again, so kind of I'm gonna put some.

Yeah, I'm gonna put some thought to that because, like, Gracie has a newsletter that goes out. I think it's going out twice a week right now. And I want to think about how we could.

What's. What's the newsletter? Is it updates or is it like dating tips?

Dating tips.

Okay. That can easily be translated into a blog, right?

That's.

Yeah. So you can make it work twice as hard. Three times. You send out the newsletter, you post it as a blog on your website, you share it on your social media. Like, hey, I just dropped this. So if you want to deep dive, you share it to your store, like that can move around for you. So.

Okay. Yeah, I feel like I might have fallen off the list or something because I haven't.

Mom, why'd you unsubscribe twice a week? That's funny.

Yeah. So I will. Thank you. This was super helpful and I will definitely talk to it and I will be in touch.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds great. Have a good trip.

Thank you. Talk to you soon. Bye.