Monday Coaching Call Facilitated by Tracy Think Feel Act Cycle Aug 18 2025

Good morning.

How are you?

Oh, you look so pretty.

Oh, you're so sweet. Thank you. How was your. How was your Dallas?

It was good. Yeah. I always come back like absolutely mentally and physically exhausted because it is just such a huge undertaking. I just, I just filed the sheet. I gotta grab it. You gotta see this.

Okay.

So I was there Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday doing appointments. Friday, month or Tuesday, I flew in super early so. So I could have appointments right after I got off the plane. And then I flew out Friday morning to get home so Gracie and I could record our ads. But just to give you an idea, so these are all of the brands that we met with. So that was all of Tuesday, all of Wednesday, all of Thursday. These are all of the ones that it. If any of these get done early, we fit these in and we got every single one of them.

No way. No way.

Yeah. So I took, I took a picture of this and I sent it to Steph and I said, if I ever, ever feel unproductive, I'm going to remind myself of how I can do hard things.

And not just that you can do hard things, but that you actually. Even the fact that you had prepared a list of if these people don't work, this is who I mean, that's just mind bog for somebody who is so disorganized. It's hilarious. I just, I'm looking at you and like, oh my God.

Yeah. Yeah. So it was, it is a lot. It's. You have to remind yourself to kind of enjoy it because it gets to be so much and so overwhelming. But it's a very cool experience when you get to see how that whole manufacturing, merchandising, buying, selling process works. Like, it's just, it's not my world. So it's fascinating to me. So, yeah, it was, it was a whirlwind. I'm happy to be home and of course it's just been raining pretty much nonstop since I've gotten home, but. Good to see you. Hi, Jen.

Morning.

Oh, my gosh. Do you. Oh, you got your haircut.

I got. Well and I didn't even do anything. I got it cut last Friday. Maybe colored and cut. So it's.

I noticed it last. Like, was it.

Yeah.

Last week. Well, maybe not if you did it.

It looks different all the time. It's got a mind of its own. Like today I just, I woke up like this. I did put on some makeup.

Oh, darling. You did?

You've just been to the gym.

I didn't get.

I couldn't get out of Bed and go to the gym this morning. So I'm gonna go in the middle of the day. So I'm just gonna. In a ponytail. But yeah, he put a little. Because I've been kind of growing the layers out. It had so many. And now I had him put a little bit back in. But yeah.

Love it. I love it.

Thanks.

All right. Good morning, Gracie. I we. Who else we got on here? I saw Dennis, Michael. Awesome. We'll probably get a few more here joining. It's so good to see you guys. This is the reset call and we do this every single Monday. It's really your opportunity to make some decisions that are going to set the tone for your entire week. Okay, so the, the tool that we use is the. Is the becoming self made daily planner. It's interesting because I've been working with my Amazon consultant on the sales of this book and on the front picture, it has the belly band on it that clearly says goal planner. And it's just killing us in the search results because people don't look for a daily planner by searching gold planner. And so our daily planner isn't coming up and that's a little bit problematic. And truly it is a daily planner. It's meant to, to help you really gain momentum for the entire week to come through making one decision at a time about your day. Okay. Now, often we have to reference other components to be able to make those decisions. And so we've included those components in this book, like a way to set your goals. In the front of this book, in the front of this planner is an exercise to help you better understand what is it that you want from your professional life, from your relationships, from your health and wellness, from your social life. A lot of people will say, I don't know what I want. It's a hard question for me to answer. And to that I would answer, okay, let's talk about what you don't want. Sometimes that's an easier door to go through to better understand what, what it is that you want. So we talk about it in the book. In the first exercise, in the front of the book is gauging your satisfaction. How satisfied are you with your relationships? How satisfied are you with your finances? How satisfied are you in your professional life? And that just gives us the springboard to answer the next question. So it's really a great exercise. We hold your hand through it and help you decide what your goals are going to be for the next 12 weeks. So every book is just 12 weeks of daily plans. And we help you through this call, setting the tone for the week by first and foremost looking at last week, what worked, what didn't work, what are you going to do different this week? And although that might be an easy question or easy questions to answer, I want you to notice where your brain goes when I ask those questions, when I ask you what worked, notice how your brain immediately goes to what didn't work, what you didn't get done, what fails you might have had, what hiccups, what obstacles, what challenges. That's where our brain goes when we're, when we are asked to answer the question about what worked. It always skews to the negative. It skews to the dramatic components of our week. It's trying to actually keep you safe. That's why it does that. It's always scanning for danger. So it's going to default and in that direction. And I want you just to notice that because when you notice that, it explains a lot. It's like, oh my God. That's why I walk around feeling defeated. Because my primitive brain is scanning for all of the danger in my life. It's not that I'm broken, it's just that's what the default pattern of my brain is. Just like every other human being.

What?

Like that can be such an earth shattering, mind blowing concept or awareness. You're not broken. That is what our primitive brain, the amygdala part of our brain is meant to do. Scan for danger. That is the strongest part of our brain. So if you have, if you think about your brain with two, two parts, if you were to split it right down the middle, this left part is the primitive. It's stronger, it's been used the most. It's not unlike any other muscle. The muscle that you use the most on your body is going to be the strongest. So that is the strongest part of your brain. By default, it's going to scan for danger. The other part of our brain, the prefrontal cortex is the part that, that can be responsive. You can be intentional. You can actually like guide it, but it takes more energy and therefore you feel more tired. It feels like a lot of effort. And so at the end of this call, you might be like, who? That's a lot. It's because we're asking a lot of you. We're asking you to stay intentional for an entire hour and to keep this part of your brain focused on a part that this part of your brain is like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're good at scanning for danger. Okay. So I just want to normalize and hopefully neutralize some of the feelings that you might be having when we talk about setting the tone, making decisions, creating momentum for your week, because it doesn't. It doesn't. It takes a lot of intention, therefore, a lot of effort. So the theme for this call, although we're going to take the exact same steps we take every single week, the theme is very simple, but it's powerful. It's decide once and then gain momentum. Most people spend their week redeciding. Should I go to the gym? Should I send that message? Should I speak up in the meeting? That daily back and forth drains your energy and it stalls your progress. But when you decide once, right here on this call, you stop spinning and you start moving forward. And that decision creates the momentum that makes the rest of the week easier. So I want you guys just to ask yourself, and feel free to share if you want to, what's one decision you know, you need to make this week that if you made it today, would immediately clear up the energy, clear up the stall, clear up the spinning, clear up the feeling of defeat or confusion? What's the one decision you know, you need to make this week that, if you made it right now on this call, would immediate, clear, immediately clear up that energy? I want you to just ask yourself that. Be really honest with yourself.

Come out. So I've had. I have one task that I have been putting on my religiously every day, on every one of them, and not doing. I. I don't want to do it. And I've sat with it. I've worked out why it is. I don't want to do it. So what do you do if you make a decision about something, but then you don't fill that decision?

Yeah. So that is the reason why we have the steps in this book or on your worksheet. Gracie typically throws the worksheets in the chat. So if you don't have the book, you can still just print out the worksheets. Even if you don't have the worksheets, you can still go through this exercise. But these exercises, the steps that we take you through, doesn't just leave you at that point of making a decision and crossing your fingers and hoping that you follow through. Right. Like, that's what we're all very used to. It actually, like, backs up the rationale, the reasoning. Why? Why do you want to make that decision? Because when you gather the evidence and you really come into alignment with what it is that you really want, it just makes that Decision more like, it makes it more firm, it makes it easier to become convicted in, requires you to answer more questions. So I'm right there with you, Kiki. If I just simply fill out do list, but I don't stop and ask myself, why is this even meaningful? Why does this matter? What is it going to create for me? How does this align with my values when I don't take those additional steps? It's diluted. Right. It just becomes another thing on the to do list that I don't really take that seriously, and I certainly don't create any sort of conviction around it. So the reason why that might week after week after week show up on your list, but yet doesn't get done is because you're not fully, like, leaning in and answering those questions for you. Okay, so today that would be the decision that I would make is I'm going to fully understand why this is important to me and, like, become more convicted. And maybe even through that exercise, you're like, it's really not that important to me. That's fair. That's fair. A lot of us make decisions based on or, or declare goals based on what we think other people want or what our society thinks we should do. And by asking yourself those kinds of questions, you reveal, actually, this doesn't matter to me. And I'm not saying that's the case, but I'm just like, actually kind of forewarning you that that can't happen and there's nothing wrong with that. Did that help? Yes.

And, and, and, but it's also raised other questions. So it, it's not something that I can. I, I have looked at it, I have worked out why is it that I have to. And it is something I have to do. And I, like, Jen has just put, what if the decision is not to do something versus do something? Which is a good way to look about it. I think it. I think I've allowed this to become such a big deal that there's a tremendous amount of kind of fear and resistance to doing it. And so I need to work that one out because when you were talking, it suddenly occurred to me that, you know, how we put down how we want to feel. And it suddenly occurred to me that if I, once I've done this, there will be a tremendous feeling of relief. So maybe I can focus on that.

Yeah. And I would ask yourself, like, how does the thought I have to do this make you feel? If that's the thought that's attached to the circumstance, whatever it is, just notice that's a thought I have to do this. That you maybe have said so many times that it's just this subconscious belief at this point. But I just want you to ask yourself, how does that make you feel? Does that make you feel burdened? Does that make you feel is. Are you making that mean that you're broken, there's something wrong with you because you haven't done it before now. Like notice the vernacular in that statement. This is what it looks like to just have this like conversation with ourself that is actually in support of us versus like having this like self deprecating, self defeating, self sabotaging conversation. Like is it even true that we have to do this? Maybe not. Maybe we just want to do this. Okay, how does that feel? Why do I want to do this? It's really pulling it apart. And looking at this thought that seems so abstract, right? It seems so insignificant. And because it's a thought, it's not something we can point to and say that happened. It's a thought. But my God. Thoughts, beliefs are incredibly important and incredibly impactful in our week. So we have to due diligence in creating an awareness of what it is that we're actually thinking. Because again, it's the primitive brain that is working on overtime. It is the stronger part that sits in that driver's seat and creates all of the thoughts. And there's nothing wrong with that, but we have to stay intentional and question those thoughts. Look at those thoughts, ask yourself what are these thoughts really resulting in? Okay. Any. Any thoughts on that? Kiki.

It was helpful. Sorry, that was why my head was down. I was making notes about stuff that you were saying.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Thanks.

Yeah, you bet. When you said I think you said you feel fear. You're afraid. When you are thinking about this circumstance or not doing it creates a sense of fear. What fear really is is an indicator or it's a spotlight. Like, I want you to think about this emotion we call fear differently. Most of us make fear mean something has gone wrong. And I want you to start thinking about the emotion of fear, however that shows up in your body. Maybe it shows up with tingly hands. Maybe it shows up with a, you know, a faster heart rate. However it shows up in your body, I want you just to think about it differently for a moment. What if it simply means that you are out of alignment with who it is that you really are or what it is that you really want? What if it's just simply highlighting the contradiction in your true vibration? Like we experience life through vibrations, through feelings. And we are meant to experience life from abundance. What if the fear is just simply indicating, showing you, spotlighting how you're out of alignment? That's it. That's all it is. It's some. It's kind of crazy to think about, but when you think about it in that way, you can almost be, like, sort of grateful for it because it's an indicator. It's just like the indicator light on your car when you're low in oil. We don't, like, stop the car, get out, slash all the tires, beat ourselves up because the indicator light went on. We're like, oh, good to know. And we make an appointment to get our oil changed. That's it. Just make the appointment to do the work, to change your mind, change the way you're thinking. Fear or any unwanted feeling is just an indicator that you're out of alignment. That's it. Okay, so continue to think about that one decision, and it might become more clear to you as we answer the question about what worked last week? What worked last week that I want to keep the momentum of? Okay, so we're just on the page. It's at the end of every week. I actually had to start a new book. I think I'm on. I think I'm on my fourth book now since this actually came out. And it always feels so good to, like, start. Start a new book. But at the end of every week is this weekly reflection. And so it has three boxes. What worked well this week? What didn't work, and what will I do differently? I want you to ask yourself, what worked last week that I want to keep the momentum on? Flip back. Flip back through the pages. Look at your calendar. Think back to last week. What worked well? Good morning, Janet. Sorry I kept you in the waiting room for so long. I don't know why I cannot see. Oh, there she is. Good morning, Janet. Okay, so you've answered the question. What worked last week that I want to keep the momentum on? Now? What didn't work that slowed you down last week? Look back at your daily planner. Look back in your calendar. Whatever. The whatever could jog your memory. And I just want you to notice kind of the neuroscience of this. When we keep our focus on what worked well, intellect is high because we're scanning for data. We're being intentional. When intellect is high, emotions are low. So that's why we go in this order. We want to answer the first question while intellect is high and emotions are low, so that when we go into the second question, of what didn't work or what slowed me down last week, what we are still like teed up with, intellect high, emotions low. So I want you to just simply bullet point. I don't want you to write any sort of dramatic story, just data. What didn't work well, what slowed you down? And then finally, what will I do differently to keep moving forward, what will I do differently? Now that I see what worked and what didn't, what am I going to do differently? I'm going into next week. Momentum isn't built from huge wins. This book, this planner, is not a collection of huge wins. Momentum is built from not letting the same stalls trip you up again and again and again. Reflection clears the path. That's why this part of the call, this time that you invest every single Monday to make a decision, that's going to create momentum. This reflection part is so important, it clears the path. No drama, high intellect, low emotion, and you just make a decision. What am I going to continue doing? Momentum is what happens when your focus compounds. Every thought you choose invites the next one. If you focus on doubt, you collect more doubt. If you focus on progress, you'll collect more progress. That's why the spirals, the spinning out that we all do feels so heavy. We've just allowed the wrong focus to pick up speed. But here's the good news. Momentum doesn't require one perfect thought. It literally comes from these small shifts that we just need to practice with consistency. Each time you interrupt that self doubt and replace it with a useful thought. You've just trained your mind and that training is what builds strength.

Okay?

We often like metaphorically use this call as like our fitness going to the gym. But it's mental fitness, right? It requires us to lift the weight so that we strengthen the muscle. Making a decision is just like lifting the weight so that we can strengthen that muscle of our mind with intention. We're strengthening the intention. So when I say decide once and gain momentum, what I mean is the moment you make a clear decision, you stop debating with yourself and that frees up the energy and starts that momentum, that role that you want, that role. Thought by thought, action by action, it compounds into this like unstoppable forward motion. So I want to just draw your attention back. What's one area of your life where you've been stalling because you keep redeciding? What's the one decision you can make today to get that ball rolling, to catch some momentum you can go back and look at? For those of you who have been through the goals workshop, go back to the front of your book. Look at what it is that you want to create over the next 12 weeks. Because I started a new book last night, I redefined my goals, and it's so fascinating to see how things shift. Twelve weeks ago, what was important to me and the goals, I had a couple of them carried over, but I have some new ones. I hold myself to four. Four is. Is enough to keep you focused on. I don't want to divide my focus so much that I feel any sort of distraction. So I keep myself to four goals. But having that in the front of the book and taking myself through the exercise of why it even matters to me, what it is that I need to do to get myself there, how it is I want to be thinking and feeling, I now have that as reference. So every week, when I decide what it is I'm going to focus on for that week, I have that work is already done. I don't have to recreate the wheel. It's there. It's just a reference point. Okay. For those of you who haven't been through that workshop, you just simply ask yourself, like, what's one goal that I can decide today that will carry me forward all week? Okay. Is it health and wellness related? Is it professionally related? Is it your finances? Is it a relationship? Maybe it's your dating life. Maybe it has to do with your physical environment. That's one of the segments we have on the Focus Wheel. And a lot of people are like, I never realized how impactful my physical environment is. Super impactful. I knew when I created this that that had to be an area of focus because it has such a massive impact on my day. My office, the car that I drive in my. The place where I work out. Maybe the place that you worship your physical environment. Think about that. Is it working for you? Is it working against you? How satisfied are you with it? How satisfied are you with your personal growth, your fun and recreation? So what's one goal I can decide today that will carry me forward through this week? I'll move my body three times. I'll send one new connection message each day. I'll block out two hours for this big project that I'm working on? I know I don't think she's on here, but we have. We have a member who's writing a book right now, and it's a huge goal of hers. It's going to require her to commit a huge amount of time. But these are the kind of decisions that create momentum. Momentum Creates results. That's the chain reaction that we're building here. So on that weekly intention page where it has goal one, goal two, goal three, goal four, I just want you to simply put what it is that you have as a goal. You can have up to four.

That.

You want to gain some momentum on this week. The actions to take the lines that are underneath those goals. You answer those questions or you fill in those blanks by asking yourself what is the simplest step I can take? Or what's the easiest action I can take that's actually so easy it's hard not to do. Start small and build. Instead of starting big and trying to whittle your way down, work your way up, start small here. I don't know if you guys can see, but I have these weights that sit right here right next to me. This is one of my. It's so easy, it's hard not to do. Literally I have this sitting here because three times a day I do this. My God. It doesn't get any easier. I'm not even getting out of my chair. But it's important to me that I start toning my arms. Okay? That's what I mean. It doesn't have to be hard. I'm not saying I have to go to lifetime, go hire a personal trainer, be there three times a week. No, that seems really hard. This is super easy and it's a way for me to gain momentum. Okay. So I'm just going to give you another minute to fill out the four goals. They can be very top line for me this week they are. One is nutrition and tone is goal one. Goal two is self made. You very top line. Goal three is dating with Gracie. Very top line. Goal four is family. Okay, so you can make them very, you know, 10,000 foot view or you can make them kind of the micro goals within those segments for family. It maybe was just spending more time with very specific people. If I wanted to get to the micro goal it. Any questions.

I have, I have one. So I have. I've had the same goals for a while, which is in some. I've made a lot of progress. So like there's one. I feel like it's part of my routine now. Like my, it's my working out, lifting five times a week which I've been really consistent for like 16 weeks now. But I'm. I'm kind of afraid to take it off. My. I keep it on here because I'm afraid if I take it off. I think I've built the habit. But I'M afraid I might go backwards. So just a comment like, I'm keeping it on there just because I. I don't know. Plus, it makes me feel good that I'm achieving it, so it gives me something I can check off. So I want to get your perspective on that where there's other ones, where I haven't made as much progress on there too, you know?

Yeah. So I would say, like, kind of look at, you know, that first exercise when we're reflecting on what's working, what's not working, what am I going to do different? That's working for you. Right. And so that would be the third question is, so what am I going to do different, differently, or what am I going to continue to do? What am I going to continue to do? Is this working out? 5 days a week is working really well for me. I would. I said this at the beginning of the call, and I know there were a lot of people that weren't on yet, but sometimes that statement that we write, you know, I'm going to continue to work out five days a week. It's working for me. That is great awareness, but I want you to be convicted in that awareness. And the way that you become convicted, where you create a knowing where you are becoming this person who is somebody who just works out regularly. You said, I'm not totally sure I can trust myself to do it if I don't write, write it down. Okay. So there is a little bit of a contradiction going on. Like, it's. There's a contradiction in, like, your alignment because there's fear. And all that fear is. Is an indicator. And so we want to change the way we're thinking about this. I'm becoming somebody who. Working out five days a week is a habit. It's no longer a goal. It's just. It's something I do because. And now answer that question, because why? This is what it looks like to, like, really collect the evidence, collect the data so that that belief is like, so strong. It's a knowing you're not quite there yet. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, this is another rep at the gym. Ironically, it happens to be about the gym.

Yeah, that's good. I think it's just taking it to the next level because I've done it before. Right.

And then. So tell me. So just thank you for volunteering, but just tell me why. Why is this important to you? Tell me, what are the benefits that you have now noticed that maybe you didn't even think about. They weren't even on your radar, but you're like, holy shit. Working out five days a week. Not only am I getting more tone.

But what I think just, no, just the fact that I did it. I said I was going to do it and I did it and I do and I enjoy it. Right. Like, I. I don't dread. I don't. Some days I kind of don't want to go, but I never regret going. So the benefits of feeling better, feeling good about myself, you know, and people will be like, wow, how are you doing? And I'm like, I don't. I just am. Right. I put it on my thing. And if I miss a day, and if I miss a day, like there a couple weeks, I've gone four. It's okay.

Yeah.

I don't like, forget the whole thing and throw it out the window. I give myself a little grace. So I think just building the confidence that I am doing it and it's the reason why I'm doing it is for health and longevity and. And of course also you want to look more strength and, you know, strong and toned and all that, but it's really more about health.

Exactly right. So you just kind of reminded yourself you just, like, became more grounded in the reasons. You've collected more data for that decision. I'm doing it for longevity. I'm doing it because I want more energy. I. I like the way I look when I do it. I like the satisfaction of following through on a commitment every day. Yeah. As you become somebody who just knows that you're in alignment with what it is that you want. Like, you don't. You won't have to write it down as a goal. You certainly can, but you don't have to because it's part of your knowing you're in 100, like, lockstep with who it is that you're becoming. You're always going to be in the state of becoming, but it's. You're just becoming stronger. So. Yeah, I don't think that there is necessarily any right or wrong way if it, if you want to keep that as an ongoing goal, you certainly can. I would suggest to do that for right now because I can. I can hear a little bit of contradiction in your alignment. There's a little bit of fear of what happens if I. If it falls off my radar, it just goes back on your radar. That's like, there isn't really a problem, but you have to believe that. And so I would say keep it on. As we continue to collect the data about the value of this decision. Anybody else?

I have a question.

Yeah.

So every year I write down my goals and I, I split them between career, finances, health, and all that stuff. So I have long term goals, goals for the year, and I have a whole bunch of stuff. And I find that every year, for example, when I sit down with my business partner, I'll meet my targets and, but I'm finding that I have so many goals written down for the year that I have no way of tracking them. So I'm glad I, I, I came to this meeting today and I loved when you mentioned that you should break them into small chunks and gain, to gain momentum. How do you, how do you keep track of this and how often do you keep track of this?

Yeah, so, so I revisit it every 12 weeks. So every 12 weeks I redo a focus wheel. So the wheel looks like this. So this is one that's already filled in as an example. But this wheel is broken up into eight segments. Finance, career, contribution and giving, physical environment, health and wellness relationships. And it asks you to assess your level of satisfaction in each area. And the goal isn't actually to get to a 10 to have that whole wheel filled out. The goal is actually balance. And so if you think about this wheel as whether or not it would function as a wheel, would it roll? This obviously would not roll. It's not balanced. So that's the objective, is to feel more balanced so that you aren't feeling distracted and pulled in all of these directions. Oh, wait, now I got to remember, I have to put my focus on my finances. Oh my God. And now I've just let my health and wellness slip. That's what happens when we have so many goals that were like, we've got, you know, a 10 out of 10 focus on this, and this is like a two out of two. But yet it's still a goal. If you're calling it a goal, it's important to you. And so what we're trying to do is like evenly distribute our focus. And the way we do that is by keeping our finger on the pulse. And the tangible, the how is literally every single 12, every 12 weeks, every quarter you reassess because those goals can change. And then on the weekly, you're looking back at what that 12 week quarterly goal or goals are and you're setting your weekly intentions that in the context of those goals. And then the daily planning comes from that weekly intention. So it's a process, it truly is a process that we've created through our desire to be Self made. And the reason why we came up with, you know, the whole title of self made has nothing to do with, like, money. It has everything to do with our ability to decide what it is that we want and to take responsibility for it. And so we are taking responsibility for our thoughts, unintentional and intentional, our feelings, unintentional and intentional, our behaviors, and therefore our results. That's what we're taking responsibility for. So it goes all. It goes right back to that brain analogy. Like I talked about the brain being, you know, two parts. We've got the primitive and we got the prodigy. The prodigy has an ability to respond. The primitive is very reactive. So if you, through doing this work, you strengthen your ability to respond. We're taking the responsibility. We are actively executing on responsibility.

We're.

We're executing on our ability to respond. Another way of saying that is to use our prodigy brain. Another way of saying that is staying intentional. It takes commitment. It takes consistency. That's what creates the momentum. So engaging in this process is what gets you there.

Okay, thank you.

I would say continue to show up every single Monday if you want to go through a goals workshop. It sounds like you've got your goals set. We can help you kind of laser focus on your goals and maybe break them down if necessary, so that you're seeing more progress in these smaller windows of time. Because that's going to be, you know, that's going to contribute to the momentum.

Yeah, I like that. I think. Well, in my experience, I find that I'll. I'll set. I'll set goals, but I will always default to what I know and what's easy. That's why I find that one. I, I'm unorganized because I'm not revisiting them like you mentioned. So it's an afterthought. Once I reach the end of the year, I'll only achieve one of the two, which is usually work, because that's what I know, that's what I'm good at. But then other things in my life suffer.

Right.

I'll always work and, and working out because that's what I do on the daily. But then on the, on the other end, my relationships and my dating life has suffered.

Right.

And that makes sense because that's something that I haven't worked on in years. And as a result, a lot of thoughts come into your head. The fear, like you mentioned, which prevents you from taking action. And you, you know, yeah, I'm happy I, I came today.

So, yeah, I'm happy You're here too. I would also say that, you know, one thing that I think we forget is that once you set the goal, all we have done is literally put the destination in our gps. There is a lot of driving that needs to happen to get us there. Right? So many people think, ah, set the goal, waiting for it to come, like, oh no, no, no, no. There is a journey that has to happen. So with that in mind, I would love to offer you, Dennis, that you obviously have signed up to be a member of dating with Gracie. That's a huge step in the right direction of improving your dating life. And that's part of the journey. If you would have just set the goal and been like, okay, why is it not happening? Like, then we would probably need to have more of a conversation. But you are on that journey. You are actively taking the steps. You're probably, you know, going through some of the courses and obviously attending some of the coaching calls. And so reminding yourself of the progress that you are making goes a long way in, in recognizing the momentum that's starting to happen. And then that builds upon, that's the compounding like nature of momentum. So, so I really want to spotlight that for you so that you aren't allowing your primitive brain to tell you that this is a goal that you have set that you've made no progress on because you've stayed focused on the things that you're good at. I want to offer you a better feeling thought that I know is true. Okay. All right, so now we go to the daily pages. There are two pages before that which are the weekly to dos and the brain dump. It's just the weekly to dos is just a place for you to compile your non goal related to do's, doctor's appointments, grocery store, making that phone call to the long distance relative that you've been meaning to connect with, making the travel arrangements, all non goal related to do's. Our brain is not a vault, it's a processor. Keep it open and allow it to do the processing instead of expecting it to store all of these insignificant to do's. They can go on this sheet. Okay, so that's what that's for. I typically am just transferring the things that didn't get done last week onto this week. And then it becomes a living breathing list that I'm constantly adding to. The brain dump is just a place for you to do your self coaching. Write down the ahas that you might have, maybe on this call, any of your other calls. It's a way for you to put pen to paper, to really process what it is that you're feeling and why. Okay, we don't do that enough. I want to encourage you every single day to go back to that page. Simply ask yourself, what is it that I'm feeling? You can reference the front pages that give you lists and lists of emotions, and they also are tethered to a thought. And ask yourself, is this what I'm believing? Isn't that interesting? I'm feeling this way because I'm believing this. And that belief is a choice, which makes the feeling a choice. And sometimes the awareness comes from putting pen to paper and answering, what is it that I'm feeling and why? Okay, so now we've come to the daily Planners. We have seven days of daily Planners. The very first thing I do is I just go through all seven days and quickly date it. So Monday, 8 18. Tuesday, 8 19. Wednesday, 8 20. Thursday, 8 21. Friday, 8 22. Saturday, 8 23. Sunday, 8 24. It just grounds me in the week. In the week that I'm in, I want to know, where am I in this year? Don't be like one of the meteorologists that's like, can you believe it? It's the beginning of September. It's September 1st. It's like, yeah, I can believe it. I'm grounded in where I'm at right now. So just ground yourself where we're at on the calendar and then flip back to today, Monday, 8:18. And I want you on the left hand side. I just want you to put pen to paper and put the time and the activity that you've made commitments to. So today at 9:00am Central, you're on the reset call. Any other commitments you've got where you have a specific time that you're going to be at a specific place or you're going to do a specific thing? A lot of our weight loss clients will put at noon. I'm breaking my fast. Okay. It's not necessarily where they're going to be, but what is it that you're committed to doing? Okay, so you can use this daily schedule in either way. And I usually take the same time, I usually move forward. And anything that's reoccurring events or commitments that I already know I have on my calendar, I quickly fill those in on Tuesday through Sunday, makes it very easy so that when I every single morning when I sit down, I'll just do a quick little edit. Inevitably, meetings have canceled, meetings have come up and I'll just quick do my edit. It Grounds me in where I'm at today. Now, there's a box underneath the today's schedule that says daily to do's. That is a collection of items that you want to get done before your head hits the pillow, but you're not going to schedule it. You can't schedule it for one reason or another. You're not sure exactly where it's going to fit in. So at some point today I need to edit a podcast. I'm not sure where that's going to fit in my day, so I can't schedule it. But it's on my to do list and there will be a check mark next to that before I go to bed. Now, if you're needing help with that, look back at the weekly to do list. What are some of the things that you can get off that list by getting done today? Look back at your weekly intentions at those actions, all of the actions that you've broken down that are going to get you closer to the your goal. What from those lists can be done today? You either schedule it right now, you find the white space and you're like, holy crap, I have a lot of time on my hands between 12 and 3. Schedule one of these actions that need to be taken that are going to get you closer to this goal that you've committed to. When you have the white space and you are shining a light on that every single morning, that's your opportunity to commit, set a time and commit to it. Okay, on the right hand side of the daily planner sheet for today, the right hand side is the thoughts and feelings. This is the most unconventional part of planning your day. It is a, it is something that nobody taught us how to do and it is the most life changing exercise, I promise. Because all of us were taught to focus on the actions, on the how. And I want you to to flip that. Recognizing that the feelings that you're having are what are ultimately driving your behaviors. So if you're sitting here wondering why I have such a hard time getting to my workouts, why I can't stop overeating, why I keep over drinking, it's because of the feeling. A feeling that you're having is driving those behaviors or the inactions, it's a feeling that is responsible. Okay, we're going to take it one more step backwards. You're going to be like, okay, well then how do I change this feeling, this feeling of over desire, this feeling of overwhelm, this feeling of defeat, how do I change that? If that's what's responsible for my behaviors, how do I change the feeling? Great question. You've got to know what you're thinking. That's creating that feeling. And so if we think about this, our beliefs create our feelings, which drive our behaviors, which ultimately give us our results. If we believe that to be true, then why not be proactive about it? Why not decide ahead of time what it is that I want to be doing? Which you just did. Now you can ask yourself, okay, well, if I believe that my thoughts create my feelings, and feelings drive my behaviors, and. And I already know what it is that I want to create, now ask yourself, what would I need to be feeling in order to do those things? So that's this section. All I want you to do is simply pick three events. It could be a goal. It could be a person that you know is going to play a part in your day. It could be an actual appointment. It could be a to do. Pick three events. You see, clearly it says event one, event two, event three. They can come straight from your schedule. They can come straight from your goals. It could come straight from your intentions. Just pick three events. And it's so interesting. So, like, my event one is recording the podcasts that we're going to do this afternoon. My event two is editing the podcast for this week. And my event three is Gracie and I are taking my nephew out for birthday dinner tonight. And it's so interesting. When I think about these three events, like, if I kind of silo them and I think about recording the podcast, I'm like, I have kind of a neutral feeling about that. The editing the podcast, My predator brain is like, wah, wah, wah. Like, doesn't seem like a lot of fun. That's a thought. Doesn't seem like a lot of fun, which makes me feel just kind of like, which is going to have me going into it with some resistance. And then I think about the birthday dinner, and I'm excited because my thought is, I can't wait to see him. Isn't it interesting? I can't wait to see him. Creates excitement, which is great. And so I am choosing that event. And I can say, okay, I'm excited. Do I want to level up on that? Do I want to expand upon that? Do I want to make sure I keep that? It's just such a good awareness to have around what it is that you're currently thinking and feeling. But even more valuable to ask yourself, what is it that I want to be thinking and feeling? Game changer. Game changer. You guys, nobody taught us how to do this, but you have a choice. It doesn't matter if we're talking about a funeral. You get to choose how you want to feel. If you want to feel loss and grief, you get to feel loss and grief. But when you're ready to feel something else, you get to choose your thoughts and your feelings. None of these feelings are bad. You just have to ask yourself, oh, are these feelings driving the behaviors that are in alignment with my goals? Okay, so pick. Look at event one. Ask yourself, ideally, how do I want to feel? How do I want to feel? For event one, I. The bookmark that comes with the the goal planner is a great tool. Just peruse that. Do I want to feel grateful, joy, confidence, abundance, hopeful, compassionate, free, creative, satisfied, trusting, faith? Pick one. It's like a buffet of emotions. You can pick any of them. You are capable of feeling any emotion. It's just like mind blowing when I think about this. You have a choice. It can be the most insignificant circumstance or the most significant circumstance. You get to choose how you're going to feel. And with intention, with the ability to decide ahead of time, it's as good as done. So now you've decided how it is that you want to feel. We're reverse architecting. What is it that you would have to be believing that creates that feeling? Now if you are using this tool, on the back there are suggested thoughts. You can manipulate them, tweak them so that it feels more believable to you. You can ladder up on them. So I choose excited. When I'm recording the podcast, my suggested thought, I'm eager and enthusiastic about the possibilities before me. Maybe that doesn't feel very believable, but it's possible. It's possible to be eager and enthusiastic about the possibilities before me. Or I have a lot of possibilities before me. And that's exciting. I can't wait to figure out what the possibilities are. Like you can manipulate that a bit. Okay, now I want to leave you with this. You've just decided what it is that you want to be thinking and feeling to create an experience, a self made experience. You're going to need to revisit this. Okay, so a little hack is I look at. Okay, what time am I recording this podcast? About 30 seconds. Before I'm. Before this commitment, I set my timer and I literally label the timer so that when it goes off, when the alarm goes off, I look at it before I hit the snooze or the stop, I look at the label. The label has the thought, the belief that I'm Working on it sounds kind of crazy.

It.

It works like a charm. Okay, so if you have three timers, three alarms that are going off during the day, those are the reps, right? Those are the weights that you're picking up that you're building that muscle. You're just getting a little bit of help. And there's no shame in creating support tools for yourself. If you find a better way, use it. Gracie and I had tattoos on our wrists. Just little, little reminders, little support tools. Okay, Any questions? Now, we took a long time to get through today. It doesn't have to take that much time. Obviously, I added a lot of explanation. I would say, on average, it takes me about 10 minutes to start my day using this tool every single day. The return on that investment, it's like off the charts. So. All right, if you have any questions, please feel free to DM us in the community. We'll be happy to clarify anything for you. I also encourage you to show up to the coaching calls that each membership has. You can work through any sort of obstacles. You can get help with new thoughts, new feelings. Sometimes people just need help with the actions, and then we're reverse architecting from that. So we can help you on all fronts. That's what the coaching calls are here for. So thank you so much for being here and we'll see you guys next week.

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