Goals Workshop Get Focused Jan 31 2025

Hello.

Hello.

Good morning. Letting a few more people in here. Good morning.

Hear me?

Yeah.

So we have Evan and Dirk. Yes. Am I pronouncing that correctly? Yeah, yeah. Okay, Dirk, where are you from?

Pennsylvania.

Nice to meet you. How about you, Evan?

I am from Richmond.

Richmond, Virginia. Yeah. Awesome. Nice to meet you.

Yeah, nice to meet you. I think this is the first time.

I've had you on a call. Yeah, yeah.

Awesome. Awesome.

Well, I'm excited to have you here. Yeah. Cool.

I don't know, I haven't heard from many others about this call, so it might be just a small group.

Okay, Evan, this will be a little tricky for you to do. Are you driving?

Not driving. Middleman and Uber. Actually headed to the office. So I'm actually in Miami this weekend, so.

Oh, nice. Yeah. There you go. Oh, my God. We're speaking our language.

Yeah. Yeah. We're out where the sun doesn't shine.

Much longer than a few hours. It feels like Siberia.

My ex and I used to live in Cleveland, so I totally appreciate the Midwest lake effect, cloud bloom, snow globe effect.

Yeah, for sure, Totally.

One day we'll probably be snowbirds.

Yeah.

Hopefully sooner than later, right, Gracie?

Yeah. Right.

Okay, well, so I'm recording this, Gracie, so you can forwarded on. So let me just kind of set the stage for what this call is. We have a process from which we set and achieve our goals from at Self Madeu. And so we work. Currently we're working from a book that's called Becoming Self Made. And all it is is the goal planner that helps you identify your goals and then keeps you accountable to progressing towards achieving those goals on a monthly, weekly and daily basis. So in order to be able to do that, you have to clearly understand how to set goals. And so we did a goals workshop a week ago inside of Gracie's community, just with under the assumption that the men that were there had a goal of changing their dating life. And so we kind of jumped ahead. We skipped the part where we assess comprehensively our entire life and we just jumped ahead to setting goals that had very specific focuses on dating and relationships and connections. In my community, I have. I attract people who have lots of different goals. They have lots of areas within their life that they're unsatisfied with, but they really don't know how to pinpoint the particular area from which to set goals. So that's what this call is. It's really like the very first step off the starting line. And it's an opportunity to assess your entire life to figure out where are you least satisfied? From there you would then go into the next workshop that has you creating very specific goals. So the areas that we assess come from eight key life segments, domains, whatever you want to call it. Those include your finances. So that covers the financial, health, security and your ability to achieve short and long term money goals. So very big component of life. A lot of people are very unsatisfied with that part of their life. Secondly, we assess your relationships. The quality and depth of your connections with your family, friends, social networks and your romantic potential or current partners. Your physical environment. How supportive, organized and comfortable your living and workspaces are. Fun and recreation. The amount of joy, relaxation and leisure activities in your life. Personal growth. Your efforts to expand your skills, self awareness and overall potential. Health and wellness. Your physical, mental and emotional well being, career and work. Your satisfaction with your job. Professional growth and alignment with your long term goals. And then lastly, contribution and giving. The impact that you make in others lives and in your community. So here's how we do this. For each area, you're going to rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. And this is going to reveal where you have the biggest gaps and opportunities for improvement. And then from there, like I said, there's the second workshop where we'll work together to set two to four highly specific measurable goals to focus on over the course of the next three months. Okay, so we just take those eight categories that I just broke down. And what you do is you need pen and paper so that you can keep track of how you assess yourself in each of those areas. And Evan, if you don't have it, do you have a piece of paper?

It's actually in the trunk. I just opened up my notes app to take notes really quick.

So yeah, I was gonna say I just did this the other day with somebody who didn't have a piece of paper and a pen. So I'm like. So I just jotted down their answers as they, as they had them. So I think we're good. Derek or Dirk, does that make sense?

Yeah, I missed the one category between fun and recreation and health and wellness.

Oh, personal growth. Okay, so that is your ability or your effort to expand your skills, your self awareness and your overall potential. You guys are both in Gracie's community, which is a huge personal growth move. So hopefully you'll give yourself credit for that when we get to that category. It's funny how people tend to overlook some of the most significant things that they do on a regular basis. So I always point that out if you're here. You are absolutely investing in your personal growth. Unlike 90% of others, most people don't take those kind of steps. So, okay, so again, on a, you're going to be rating yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, and I'm going to ask you five questions inside of each category. So basically what you'll do is you'll have five answers. It'll be a score between one and 10. We'll just take the average so that we better understand how satisfied or not in each of those categories you are. So the key is to be brutally honest with yourself. Don't hold back. This is really your chance to like laser focus on what really matters the most to you. But with that being said, when I ask you the question, don't overthink it. Go with your gut. Go with what your gut initially tells you. And this exercise is something that we do every three months. This book that you can't yet purchase, you'll be able to purchase it here in the next two to three weeks on Amazon. It's a three month planner and it really holds your hand to achieving the goals that you'll eventually set. Until this book comes out. We operate from worksheets which are in.

The posted in the community. So you do have access to those. Until the book comes out or if you just want to use the worksheets, that's totally fine.

Yep. Okay. All right, so let's start with finances. So again, you're going to be rating yourself on a scale of 1 to 10. So how much financial security and stability do you currently feel? So a 1 would be not much at all. 10 would be you feel very stable. How much financial security and stability do you currently Feel? Scale of 1 to 10? Question 2. To what extent do you do your spending habits support your long term financial goals? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what extent do your spending habits support your long term financial goals? Question 3. How confident are you in your ability to handle major financial emergencies or setbacks? On a scale of 1 to 10, how confident are you in your ability to handle major financial emergencies or setbacks? Number four, how consistently are you taking actionable steps to improve your financial situation? On a scale of 1 to 10, how consistently are you taking actionable steps to improve your financial situation? And finally, how much does your current financial standing enable you to live the lifestyle you desire? On a scale to 10, how much does your current financial standing enable you to live the lifestyle you desire? And now you just total those numbers up. If you want to get Your average, you just divide by five and take the nearest whole number. So round, round up or down. And I just want to mention that this is not an exercise of trying to hit 10 in every category. It's really an exercise to measure satisfaction and overall balance. So if you were a five in every category, your satisfaction is actually going to be relatively high. You're not going to feel like there's these big swings, that this part of your life is great. But over here, there's a lot of room for improvement, which creates a lot of anxiety in people's lives. But when you have balance and you feel like it's all kind of, at this point, kind of under control, very managed, the satisfaction is much higher. So what we're actually looking for is more balance. But this will become more clear once we finish this exercise. I just wanted to say that because a lot of people throughout this exercise kind of beat themselves up for, you know, scoring a 5 because they feel like they should be closer to 10. And that's not necessarily true. Okay, so on to relationships. How deeply connected and fulfilled do you feel in your most important, important relationships? On a scale of 1 to 10, how deeply connected and fulfilled do you feel in your most important relationships? Next question. To what degree do you feel genuinely supported, understood and valued by your social network? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what degree do you feel genuinely, genuinely supported, understood and valued by your social network? Number three, how much time, energy and focus are you devoting to nurturing your relationships? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much time, energy and focus are you devoting to nurturing your relationships? Number four, how open, honest and effective is the communication in your closest relationships? On a scale of 1 to 10, how open, honest and effective is the communication in your closest relationships? And finally, how balanced and mutually rewarding are the give and take dynamics in your relationships? On a scale of 1 to 10, how balanced and mutually rewarding are the give and take dynamics in your relationships? And what we find with this particular segment is that what comes to mind are the relationships that matter most to you. So even though this is a very broad stroke, we're talking about your work relationships. We could be talking about your family family relationships. We could talk be talking about your intimate relationships. Most people are gauging on one category that really matters the most to them. All right, next up, physical environment. So again, this is home. This could be work. I tell people, this could be your car, could be your Uber driver, your override. It's the places that you find yourself Most often it can be place of worship, places that you spend time doing physical activities. Truly, it's your physical environment because whether you know it or not plays a huge part of your overall life satisfaction. Okay. Question one. How well does your living and workspace support your productivity, comfort and overall well being? On a scale of 1 to 10, how well does your living and workspace support your productivity, comfort and overall well being? Question 2. To what extent does your physical environment inspire, energize and uplift you? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what extent does your physical environment inspire, energize and uplift you? Next. Question. How much does your surroundings promote a sense of relaxation, peace and rejuvenation? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does your surroundings promote a sense of relaxation, peace and rejuvenation? Next, how organized, efficient and conducive to focus is the setup of your primary living and work areas? On a scale of 1 to 10, how organized, efficient and conducive to focus is the setup of your primary living and work areas? Next, how seamlessly does your physical environment accommodate and support your daily routines and lifestyle goals? On a scale of 1 to 10, how seamlessly does your physical environment accommodate and support your daily routines and lifestyle goals? Go ahead and add those up. Divide by five. Round to the nearest whole number. Next up is fun and recreation. How frequently do you engage in activities that bring you a genuine sense of joy and relaxation? On a scale of 1 to 10, how frequently do you engage in activities that bring you a genuine sense of joy and relaxation? Next, how diverse and fulfilling are the recreational outlets and leisure pursuits in your life? On a scale of 1 to 10, how diverse and fulfilling are the recreational outlets and leisure pursuits in your life? Next. To what degree are you able to carve out sufficient time for fun, play and personal renewal? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what degree are you able to carve out sufficient time for fun, fun, play and personal renewal? Next, how often do you step outside your normal routines to seek new experiences and adventures? On a scale of 1 to 10, how often do you step outside of your normal routines to seek new experiences and adventures? And finally, how much of a priority is it for you to make time for fun, recreation and personal enjoyment? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of a priority is it for you to make time for fun, recreation and personal enjoyment? The key right there is what? What's the priority? Okay, go ahead and total those up. Next, one is personal growth. How consistently are you challenging yourself to learn, grow and develop new capabilities? On a scale of 1 to 10, how consistently are you challenging yourself to learn, grow and develop new capabilities? Next, how deeply connected are you to a clear sense of your own strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement? On a scale of 1 to 10, how deeply connected are you to a clear sense of your own strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement? Next, how steadily and effectively are you progressing towards your most meaningful personal goals? On a scale of 1 to 10, how steadily and effectively are you progressing towards your most meaningful personal goals? Next, to what extent are you regularly stepping outside of your comfort zone to embrace new growth opportunities? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what extent are you regularly stepping outside your comfort zone to embrace new growth opportunities? And lastly, how strongly aligned are the ways you're growing and developing with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning? Sometimes this can be how aligned are you with your faith? Sometimes it's like with the universe. Do you feel that bigger source of alignment or are you pursuing that? So again, on a scale of 1 to 10, how strongly aligned are the ways you're growing and developing with a deeper sense of purpose and meaning? Go ahead and tow those up. Next is health and wellness how satisfied are you with your current state of physical health, fitness and vitality? On a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with your current state of physical health, fitness and vitality? Next, to what degree do you feel mentally and emotionally balanced, stable and in control? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what degree do you feel mentally and emotionally balanced, stable and in control? Next, how consistently are you maintaining healthy lifestyle habits like exercise, nutrition, sleep and mindfulness? On a scale of 1 to 10, how consistently are you maintaining healthy lifestyle habits like exercise, nutrition, sleep and mindfulness? Next, how proactive are you in managing your overall health through preventative care and addressing concerns? So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how proactive are you in managing your overall health through preventative care and addressing concerns? And lastly, how much does your current state of health and wellness enable you to fully engage in and enjoy your life? A scale of 1 to 10 how much does your current state of health and wellness enable you to fully engage in and enjoy your life? Go ahead and total those up. Next is career and work how deeply fulfilled and aligned do you feel in your current professional role and responsibilities? On a scale of 1 to 10, how deeply fulfilled and aligned do you feel in your current professional role and responsibilities? Next, to what extent are there ample opportunities for growth, learning and advancement in your work? On a scale of 1 to 10? To what extent are there ample opportunities for growth, learning and advancement in your work? Next, how supportive, accommodating is your job in allowing you to maintain a healthy work life balance? On a scale of 1 to 10, how supportive and accommodating is your job in allowing you to maintain a healthy work life balance? Next, to what degree do you feel that your work is making a meaningful positive impact in the world? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what degree do you feel your work is making a meaningful positive impact in the world? And lastly, how well are you progressing towards your most important financial and professional goals? On a scale of 1 to 10, how well are you progressing towards your most important financial and professional goals? Go ahead and total those up and divide by five and round to the nearest whole number. All right, last segment. This one is contribution and giving. How satisfied are you with the positive difference you're making in the lives of others and your community? On a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with the positive difference you're making in the lives of others and your community? Next. To what extent are you able to contribute your time, energy and resources beyond just money to causes that matter to you? On a scale of 1 to 10, to what extent are you able to contribute your time, energy and resources beyond just money to causes that matter to you? Next. How closely aligned are the ways you give back with your core values, passions and sense of purpose? On a scale of 1 to 10, how closely aligned are the ways you give back with your core values, passions and a sense of purpose? Next, how much of a profound sense of fulfillment, joy and meaning do you derive from your acts of contribution and service? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much of a profound sense of fulfillment, joy and meaning do you derive from your acts of contribution and service? And finally, how sustainable and manageable is the level of contribution and giving you're able to maintain over time? On a scale of 1 to 10, how sustainable and manageable is the level of contribution and giving you're able to maintain over time? Go ahead and total those up. So this exercise, we typically do it with a visual of kind of a wheel. And so you would take your total and you know, if you were a 10 in finance, this whole area would be shaded in. If you were a 5 in finance, just half of this would be shaded in. And it's. It's more of a visual to be able to clearly see the balance. And if it's in a wheel format, you could assess whether your wheel would actually roll in a. In A in an effective way or would it roll and then fall flat? Okay, so that's the purpose of that visual. It's obviously not necessary to be able to see where you're kind of off kilter. So if you are fives across the board and then you have maybe one area where you're a two, that's probably the area that is having the biggest effect on your level of satisfaction in your life, which will have a trickle down effect on all the other areas when you're dissatisfied. So for example, we get a lot of people in the dating with Gracie community who say they want to change their dating life, but they have a lot of health and wellness goals and they're, they're very dissatisfied and they're very out of balance. They put a ton of time into their professional life, they put a ton of time into their romantic life and they lose sight of their mental and emotional and physical well being. And so that is suffering and that dissatisfaction, the way that the lack of focus on that is having an impact on their personal relationships, their romantic relationships, maybe their professional life. So there's touch points. And so we want to really drill down and assess. I get people who will do this and, and they'll have like, I did this two days ago with a woman and she knew that she wanted to lose weight. That was what she was coming into the program to focus on. And we did this assessment and her relationships needed some obvious attention. It was like her relationships were like at a 2, health and wellness was like at a 3 and everything else was 5 and above. And she was like, okay, I, I really want to lose weight. And I, and I just explained to her that you can have multiple goals over, over the course of these three months and this assessment is going to help you decide specifically, specifically what those goals should be. And it's going to help you laser focus on those two areas of life. Now we can come up with no more than four goals from just one area of life. But the, I don't want anybody taking on more than four goals for the next three months. So whether those are spread across three areas of life, two areas of life, or even just one area of life, I would say the tighter the focus, the more, the easier the progress will probably be because you're not going to be distracted, you're going to be more focused. So anybody want, anybody have any questions? Anybody want to share? Was there anything surprising about this?

I mean, it's really funny that you mentioned four goals because that's exactly the number I set two Months ago, put my pastor, like, and just brought it. But it's like, the way I did, it seems a little bit more simplistic. And I'm excited to learn about the, like, getting specific. It was just, hey, write down four things you want out of your life and the disciplines to get there. But there's a couple. And some of the areas that we went through aligned my goals that I. And I could see the scores are kind of lower where I just kind of haven't really made a ton of progress as much as the others, so.

Yeah. Yeah. So one thing that's kind of interesting is that, like, anybody can buy this book off of Amazon and they can assess their life, but they're just doing it based on, you know, the headline of fun and recreation, career and work relationships, and they're just, you know, assessing on a scale of 1 to 10, broadly, how do I feel about that? And that's. It's really challenging to create specific, measurable, achievable goals from a headline. And so this exercise is really meant to make you take a much deeper look at these areas and also see how they do intersect. It's also super interesting to recognize that your personal growth is very aligned to your relationships. Gracie and I just finished a journal called Self Made man, and. And it's the dating edition of Self Made Man. And more than three quarters of that journal has a focus on you becoming the man that you want to be and less about the woman that you're trying to attract, because organically, that will happen. As you become the man that you want to be. You start to achieve some of that personal growth. You start to recognize that personal growth, the people that you want to attract will come to you, but it always starts with you. And most people make it such an outward focus, and they forget that it has everything. And it should always start with you, that that's where they move. They lose the plot. So you'll find through this exercise that there's a lot of synergy between these segments which helps us create our goals. So I think that's great, Evan, that you've got four. You already have four goals established. Hopefully we can tighten those up and make them easier for you to progress towards cords or we'll be able. Yeah, we'll be able to refine them a little bit. The next workshop is all about getting real clear, very specific, understanding. How will we know when we achieve this goal? I get a lot of women who are like, I just. I want to lose weight. Well, specifically, how much weight do you want to lose by when? Because if you don't get specific, the finish line just keeps moving because it's never going to be enough in your mind. Or I want to make more money or I want to climb the ladder at my corporate gig. Okay, great. But specifically what is that going to look like so that you don't sit there and self loathe your way? You're not driven by, you know, inadequacy or disappointment to achieving that goal. You are actually clearly on a path of what that's going to look like once you cross that finish line so that you're motivated by how far you've come, not demotivated by how far you have to go. So there's a lot of reframing that needs to happen. And so that's what that next worksheet or workshop is all about, is getting very clear on what these goals look like. And we also create the actions. So Gracie and I, being experts in like mindset, we believe that it has everything to do with the way you're thinking and feeling that's going to be the root cause of your results. Most people have grown up believing that has everything to do with actions. And even though that is a component of achieving your goals are actions, it's not the root cause. The way you're thinking and feeling drives your actions. So if you're just simply taking actions or best practices from some expertise that doesn't help you create a feeling that actually drives those actions organically, you're not going to get sustainable results. So if I have weight loss clients who are fasting but they're feeling deprived the entire time, it's not going to be a sustainable weight loss. But if they're fasting believing that this is really good for me for a lot of different reasons, and I'm actually enjoying the process and learning something about myself, that kind of motivation is going to drive sustainable results. So same is true in every one of these categories. So we get to the, to the root cause of sustainable results and we do it by reverse architecting from the action so we don't lose sight on what the best practices are. Those are important, but we take it to the root cause which is the thinking and feeling behind those actions. So it's very comprehensive. And then we hold your hand through making sure that you stay committed to taking those actions and continually checking in with yourself to making sure that those actions are being driven by self made feelings, not self sabotaging feelings. Okay, any questions on any of that?

Yeah, well, maybe not exactly that but going through the assessment I kind of struggled with in the career work, my job does have advancement opportunities, but I'm not interested in pursuing them. So I kind of struggled with where to place that one, because they are there, but they're not something that I'm interested in.

Yeah, and that's good to know because if your place of business didn't offer them at all, you'd probably have a whole lot of resentment. Right. You'd be thinking this bullshit. They don't offer any sort of advancement opportunities for me, which creates resentment. But your thought, Dirk, is they offer it. It's just not something I'm interested in. And notice how different that feels. Yeah, you see that? So that kind of self awareness is huge. It's huge because people I, I coach a ton of women who want to transition out of corporate and become entrepreneurs. I come across them all the time. And typically when they tell me about their current situation, they will talk a lot about how much they hate their current position and they just want out. They went out yesterday. Okay. It's a process of transitioning. If you're going to do it in a, in an effective, you know, way, and you don't want that process to be fueled by resentment, by any sort of even just disappointment, you actually want that transition to be fueled by gratitude, by what actually got you to this point. Contrast. So many of these women are like, oh my God, I hate working in a corporate environment. Well, you know what? You wouldn't have ever known that had you not had this experience. So for that reason alone, we can have a little gratitude that you were afforded this opportunity so that you're here today making a decision that I now know what I don't want, which has allowed me to come to the conclusion of what it is that I do want. I get tons of people who are like, I'm so unhappy, but I have no idea what I want. And it's because they don't even know what they don't want. Right. And so I think that what you're saying, Dirk, is pretty profound. It's a really great way to kind of square up, like how it is that you want to think and feel. Just because they offer advancement opportunities doesn't mean that they're the advancement opportunities that you're looking for. And that's what really good to know. But there's no reason for you to feel resentment for that. It's just, you're just not aligned. Does that make sense? And so what about the fact that they offer advancement opportunities that you're just simply not interested in what about that is actually perfect.

I just, they, they don't align with like my, my personal goals. You know, I've. I've always been a manual labor type and an out and about person. And the advancement opportunities very much move you into an office behind the desk where you monitor other people.

And how would you have known that you are somebody who thrives in that out and about type environment versus behind a computer? How would you have known that you.

Would just have to. Trial and error.

Right. Which you just did. Right. Yeah. You know that about yourself, which is huge. So that's a good thing. And you can have appreciation for the fact that they do offer advancement opportunities and it just happens to not be what it is that you're looking for, which is really good to know. Okay. So I want you to hold on to that belief and really kind of like play around with that a little bit. Notice how the emotions, the vibrations that run through your body shift when you think of it in that way. They offer it. It's just not aligned. And for that reason I. There's no, like, there's no hard feelings necessary. They offer it. It's not what I'm looking for. And that's good to know. And so who does offer what it is that I'm looking for? Where are my skills, skill sets transferable? Like where are the places that are looking for the kind of skill sets that I have that actually offer career advancement opportunities? They have that model laid out that I'm looking for. You know, it's not here. Okay. It's a great starting point. So next. So if you have a goal that is falling within career and work, the next steps are going to be what is it specifically that you're looking for? Do you have any idea?

I. That one scored kind of high. It was just that, that question was kind of tricky because, you know, it falls like right in between. They offer, but I'm not interested. So do I score them? Do I score it harder because I'm not interested or do I score it higher because they offer it, you know.

So yeah, they offer it and you're not interested in it. Doesn't change the fact that, you know, it's really a. It's a question to see if there's a gap there and they actually offer it. It's something you're not interested in. Which is, which is actually a good thing that you have this insight now. So I would say from a standpoint of like good or bad, for me, I'd Be very indifferent in that answer. It would be a very neutral answer for me or I would lean into. It's like a positive answer because I've learned, I know that about myself. I clearly can see what they have to offer isn't what I'm looking for, which is a good thing to know. And I just lost my train of thought what I was going to say on that. Oh, I know. So I'm working with another client right now who's in a very similar situation. And she was saying that, you know, the department that she works in doesn't offer a lot of flexibility around working remote. And she finds that when she's in the office, in her work environment, it, it's not conducive to the way that, you know, her work style. So there's a lot of hoteling going on. And she's like, it's so loud and I can't concentrate yet. They really want me to be performing at a high level. And she's like, but they don't offer remote work options. And I'm like, okay, do you think that that's like forever? Do you think that that's the hard line? Do you think that there's any opportunity for a conversation to be had in her mind? She was very resentful around the fact that they didn't offer any other opportunities. And because she felt resentful, all of the creativity, all of the new ideas were completely turned off. She wasn't coming up with any ideas, she was just pissed. Which shut down her from wanting to have a conversation, pursue other departments. So I started asking her some of these questions and she's like, huh, I never even thought that maybe I should go talk to them and talk to them about the way that I work best. And she, she wasn't looking at, in what ways does she feel respected and supported? And you know, they've told her she's gotten lots of raises, they told her that, you know, they really value the high quality output. I'm like, okay, so what about leveraging some of that with, you know, in a conversation? Like, I want to continue to do good work for you, but I also know this about myself, that I can't work in an environment where there's all these distractions going on around me. So I'd love to propose that every day I leave at 2 o' clock to work remote from home so I can be more laser focused on my projects and continue to have high output and probably even more than what you guys are used to. What about that? She Got curious. Instead of being motivated from resentment, she was being motivated from curiosity, which drove a completely different result. So that's what I mean when I say instead of being angry or frustrated or overwhelmed or resentful, we want to get you into a place of gratitude, because that's going to drive entirely different results. So there's a huge mindset shift. Now, this is not like fluffy mindset shifts. This is not mantras or affirmations. This is believable thoughts that come from your brain. Gracie and I are skilled at doing the prompting to pull it out of you, but we're not trying to give you thoughts. And for you to go off and try to believe these are believable thoughts that are coming from you. So the fact that you told me they offer paths for professional advancement, it's just not what I'm looking for. Okay. Like, that's very different than my job doesn't offer anything. Right. They do offer things. And the fact that you are just not aligned, you're looking for something different. Good to know. Really good to know. That's the contrast that we need in order to make good decisions moving forward. And for that, we can be. We can be grateful. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I know that, that personal or career and work might not be one of your goals, so I might have just totally went down a rabbit hole on that one. But hopefully it helps you in the bigger picture, because everything I'm saying is applicable to every one of these life segments. Just out of curiosity, Dirk, how many goals do you think you've got or how many areas of focus are you wanting to work on? I see.

I see two that are. That are standouts out of the. Out of the group.

Okay, what are they?

Personal growth. I scored an average of three. It was a little higher than three, but it rounded down to three. And health and wellness. I scored a four. It was just over four, and it rounded down.

Okay. Interesting, because those two are probably the most closely connected to your dating life. I would say when we get people into Gracie's community who are really struggling with. With any sort of progress, it's often tied back to those two areas of life. So that's actually why we brought this component out of. Out of my community. And our. Are kind of offering it to this community because we see the need for it. So that's really good news because some progress in both of those areas are going to for sure have a significant impact in the relationship category. So I think those are two great areas of focus where we can Come up with several goals together.

Yeah, I was. I was kind of surprised I scored personal growth as hard as I did for the fact that I joined a dating community and I'm doing a bunch of work on me, but I still scored it very, very hard.

Yeah. Well, and you're probably relatively new at this, right? So this. Good to know. Evan, any other insights?

No, I mean, everything that you've kind of mentioned aligns with the journey that I've probably been taking myself on in the last three months.

So.

Yeah, no, just excited to get started and learn something new and have some more specific goals.

So where are you now? Are you at work or are you at home?

So I'm actually racing, so I raised small sailboats and I have events in Miami, I don't know, during the winter, at least once a month. So I just popped into the Miami office to clear up some work this morning and then go practice this afternoon and have fun with my friends.

Gotcha. Wow, that sounds amazing.

Yeah, it's not bad.

Cool. Okay, so our next workshop will be Monday 8 Central. And what we'll do is take your areas of focus and really blow out the goals. Okay. So over the weekend, I would say reflect on these areas of focus. Again, I mean, I would say no more than four, because you only get four goals. So in that case, you would get one per area of focus. But if you have one glaring or two glaring areas of focus, then we'll figure out how to split the goals across. Across those two areas of focus accordingly. We do all that in that next workshop, but the homework would be really reflect on those areas of focus. Ask yourself, if all things were ideal, what would my life look like? What would this part of my life look like? So that you can start kind of brainstorming in three months what it would look like. Yeah, dreams. Yep, dream about it.

Yeah. And what it would look like in. In that three month time span. So, like really only look like three months out so that it makes setting those goals a lot easier.

Yeah. All right. Any other questions? Okay.

Yeah, one. One more. In the whole goals thing, is is it normal to have like two areas where you want to focus because you scored them lower and then maybe another goal that you didn't score lower but you feel like you need to make progress on?

Yeah, it is. I do get people who are like, I didn't score low or I'm not out of balance in fun and recreation. That's a big one that I get a lot. But I'd really love to add a Little bit more of that into my life. Totally doable. The good news is, you guys, we reassess every three months, and we all have free will. And this is not a prescriptive. I want you to set these goals because this assessment looks this way. This is yours to curate, and we're here to support you. And so I really want you to enjoy this process and know that in three months, we reassess again. And it might be three, three to four new areas of focus. It might be the same area of focus, and it might be subtly shifted goals. It might be the exact same goals. You're just taking it to the next level. But this is yours to curate. There is really no wrong choice. This assessment was just meant to shine a light and really help you better assess. And so Fun and Recreation is a good one to use as an example, because a lot of my clients decide to throw that in there for a focus for three months. So yours. And we're not going to tell you that you're doing it wrong.

Yeah, my. My wheel of life was, like, my work was. Was super high. My work and career was super high because I love what I'm doing, and it makes me so happy every single day. So I scored it really high. And like, Fun and Recreation was one of the things that was a lot lower for me because I do put a lot more focus on my career right now. But in my mind, like, that's where I want my goals. I want my goals on my career. Like, I want this to be a time in my life where I get to build something amazing. Like, that's what makes me excited. And so the fun and recreation will come and. And that's something that I absolutely will pursue in the future. But for right now, even though it's not scoring as highly on my wheel, that doesn't mean that that's where my area of focus needs to be. So I think that it's. Yeah, exactly what you said. I think it's totally fine to have some lower scores in other areas and still want another focus area.

It's a gauge, not a math equation.

Yeah, that's exactly it. I was just gonna say that it's like it's more of an art and less of a science on this. It's really more of. Yeah, a unit to gauge and to kind of a springboard, I guess, if you will. And Gracie's thought or belief around, you know, I'm willing to take this time to build something amazing. I actually love spending time building something amazing. And the fun and Recreation. Although it may not be as much as, you know, I'd love, I'm okay with that right now. That belief, if she really thinks about that, that belief that those thoughts that are running through her head, that creates a vibration through her body, that drives momentum, it drives actions. Think about that. The way she's talking about that. You can hear it. That she's excited, she's curious, like she's all in. Those are all really positive emotions, self made positive emotions that are going to drive self made results. None of that. There's no self sabotage in that whatsoever. So even though she was scoring lower on Fun and Recreation, she's like. And so super high on career and work. She's like, I'm cool with keeping my focus on career and work and keeping the pedal down to the metal. That feels good. And that's going to drive really great results. So good to know. Right? And maybe in three months she'll be ready to put her attention and focus on Fun and Recreation. Maybe not. All right, well, hopefully we'll see you Monday. If next Monday doesn't work, we do these multiple times throughout the week. We'll find a time that works for you guys. All right, good. Nice to meet both of you. Thanks for being here. Take care.

Bye, guys.

Bye. Bye. Bye.