Monday Coaching Call Facilitated by Tracy Think Feel Act Cycle Jun 16 2025 1

Good morning. Good morning. How's it going?

It is going well.

Good. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Hey, Brent, how's everything in Minnesota?

Good Lord. Well, Gracie and I just got home late last night from Utah, so we kind of. It was crazy here while we were gone, as most people probably know. Yeah. And so my husband. We got home pretty late last night. My husband left this morning, went to go work out, and I was in my office just preparing for the day, and I thought, oh, I'm gonna go out and get some coffee. I walk into my kitchen, and there is a bird sitting on our dishwasher, and as soon as it saw me, it, like, flew into the window, fell onto the floor. We have Gracie's dog, my two dogs here. It was complete chaos. So I'm, like, texting my husband, telling him, can you please come home sooner than later? I have, like, complete chaos going on in here, and Gracie's texting me, send me pictures of Meatball. I miss him so much. I'm like.

Yeah, it sounds like a good start to the day.

Yeah. All right, just give it another minute here.

I started the new planner yesterday, but because I want to go through the first steps, I didn't finish the. I didn't do all the other stuff for the week.

Oh, okay. Well, that's good. That's what we do on this call. So did you set some goals?

Yeah, because I was doing, like, the focus will and, you know, doing all that stuff, so I tried to kind of pick some, like, physical goals and then, like, some relationship goals. I really, like I said, I really wanted to kind of give this more intention this time, so, you know, I didn't really get through everything. So we'll see how today goes.

Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. All right, I'm gonna try to keep an eye on the waiting room and get this party started. So welcome. Tamara. I see you're on here. Welcome to the call. Good morning. How are you? I'm doing well, thank you. Just a little bit of a cold, so. Oh, no. Okay. I'm gonna keep me muted, so if I'm coughing and sneezing, I won't bother. Sounds good. Sounds good. All right, I'm just gonna share my screen here real quick and keep letting people in. There we go. All right, so this call is what we call our reset call, and it works from the pages of the becoming self made goal Planner, which, if you can still see me outside of the shared screen, this is the planner that you can get on Amazon. It is a way for you to very easily Stay intentional about what it is that you want and how you're going to get there. Okay. So we start off by assessing the areas that were least satisfied in our life. And that is this page. We call it the Focus wheel. And so you're basically giving yourself a score in each of these eight categories and better understanding which areas you're least satisfied with. Okay. We do have a goals workshop where I ask you five questions within each of these categories to help you better assess. Some people can assess like, you know, right off the top of their head. They could give themselves a score for career and work, finances, relationships. Other people need to be prompted a little bit more. So inside the membership there is a, a focus wheel assessment call that you can just take yourself through, listen to and give yourself the scores to have a deeper understanding of where your satis. Satis. How satisfied you are in each of these areas. From there, what we do is then we set goals. So we look at the areas that we're least satisfied with and we decide what is it that we want? What is it that would make us more satisfied? So in this example, this person was wanting to put a focus on their health and wellness. And the specific goal was wanting to lose weight. The measurable goal was to lose 10 pounds to make it achievable. You actually decide like a time frame around that. And this person said 10 pounds in three months. The relevancy is super important. So so many of us just, we pick a goal that we think somebody else wants or that we think sounds good. You have to make it very relevant, very meaningful to you. So you got to ask yourself, why is it that I want to achieve this goal by improving my health? I'll increase energy levels and my overall well being. Then you actually set a date and then you come up with the actions. If you were watching somebody else achieve this goal, what exactly would you see them doing? This is the section. Some people need the most help with this area. They have no idea what the best practices are to improving their health or advancing in their career or connecting with, with a new person in their life or healing a relationship. So sometimes working with a coach to come up with the best practices is a really good idea. So this is the first part of the becoming self made goal planner. It first has you assessing your life. Secondly, it has you defining the goals. It gives you an area to set four goals and then it takes you through really understanding the power of feelings. Our approach, which I would consider to be very foundational to everything that we, that we teach is A think, feel, act cycle. That is literally how we navigate life. We have a thought that generates a feeling and our behaviors are being driven from that feeling. So you're either creating self made feelings and therefore self made results, or you're unintentionally creating self sabotaging feelings and unintentionally creating self sabotaging results. So this think, feel, act cycle is literally how we navigate life. But most people do not understand that. They think that it has everything to do with actions. So they're always looking for a hack, or they're working with a mentor or a coach and they're saying, just tell me what to do, tell me what to do differently. And as a coach that is very convicted in a different way of navigating life, I would tell you that it's very unconventional. And nobody has ever been taught this in their formal, educational, like experience. And so that's what we do. We teach you that it's not about the hacks, it's about how you're thinking and feeling. How you're thinking and feeling is either sabotaging your life or it's creating a life that has become optimized, or it is on the way to creating more satisfaction for you. It's whether you're being intentional or unintentional. It's whether you're operating from your prefrontal cortex or you're operating from that primitive brain, the amygdala part of your brain. That's what it boils down to. Okay, so this part of the book explains that concept. And then we take you through a deep understanding of your self sabotaging feelings. We all have them, and our job is not to try to eliminate them. It's to become aware of them. When you're aware of them, you can, you can have more control. You create more control. Without awareness, you just keep creating sabotage, self sabotage. So this exercise I highly recommend doing. If you have not done this exercise, this is a way that you will better understand yourself. So many people will maybe come to the conclusion that they're feeling guilt or that they're feeling overwhelmed, but they don't know why. And when they don't know why, they'll blame it on a person, they'll blame it on an event. And when you blame it on something like an event or a person, you give all your power away. You want to retain your power by realizing the only reason you're feeling anything because of what you're thinking. So this exercise really boils it down. It reveals why you're actually Feeling the guilt, the shame, the embarrassment, the doubt. It's because of what you're thinking. So I gave you the thoughts that create these emotions in my life. But I want you to fill in these blanks. What are the thoughts? What are the beliefs that create guilt and overwhelm and anxiety and anger? We all experience them. There's no shame in experiencing these feelings. The power is understanding what's actually causing these feelings. It's not the money in your bank account. It's not the girlfriend that you haven't been able to keep or find. It's not your job, it's not your boss. It's the thoughts that you're having about them that's creating these emotions. So do yourself the favor and take yourself through this exercise and reveal what thoughts, what beliefs are creating these emotions. Because when you realize that you retain, you create a a much more powerful life. You now have control. Leveraging your strengths is the next section. And this is all about creating with intention, feelings. So once you understand that unintentional thoughts create self sabotaging feelings, you will deduct from that understanding that you can actually create the feelings that are going to drive productive, successful results. It only makes sense when you realize where self sabotaging feelings are coming from. You start to recognize the control that you have, the power that you actually have. So it's the same sort of exercise. It's now creating with intention these feelings. Gratitude, love, understanding, connection, curiosity, courage, confidence. So I gave you what thoughts, what beliefs create these emotions? For me, the reason why you would want to create these emotions is because they drive successful results. They drive behaviors that are going to create the results you want in your life. So, so this work is worth doing. Okay, so figure out what thoughts create gratitude. I'm deeply thankful for all of the blessings in my life. What thoughts create empathy? I choose to approach everyone, including myself, with kindness. So I want you to fill in these blanks. And this will serve as a reminder of the work that you've already done, but as a reminder of what thoughts create these powerful, powerful emotions that are going to drive the kind of actions that you need in your life. All right, so that's the foundation of the book. Then we get into the weekly and daily practices. These weekly and daily practices is what keeps you intentional. It's what keeps you on track. Okay. So we want to make sure that we are committed to doing this work. These steps are really easy. If you follow the worksheets or you follow this book, you can't help but stay intentional so we look back at what our goals are and all we do is we either completely transfer goal 1, goal 2, goal 3, goal 4 from those smart goals, or we break it down this week. What are my goals? I want to complete the project proposal, I want to organize my workspace, I want to connect with friends, I want to finish reading that book. None of these are life altering, earth shattering goals, but they're meaningful to your week to getting you closer to what it is that you want. So every week we do this intentional decision making exercise. What is it that I want to achieve this week? Now we start every week with a weekly reflection. We collect data on how well last week went. So this is how we start our weekly reset call by assessing what worked well this past week. And you don't have to write a dissertation, you can just write a couple bullet points about what worked well. And I want you just, if you don't have the book or you don't have the worksheet, I just want you to jot down on a piece of paper a couple bullet points of what worked well last week. Okay? Take, take a minute to do that. Sometimes I need to remind myself by looking at my past calendars at my daily planners. Sometimes I look at my weekly to do list and see how many of these things actually got done. Sometimes I'll look at my goals and see how much progress I made towards them. But sometimes it was just a feeling. Maybe I was able to stay curious all week because staying curious, creating curiosity with intention is a lot of work. It takes a lot of mental strength to stay in that place. Because my primitive brain, my fear based brain, is trying to kind of drag me in to this very dramatic place. I'm sure you all can relate the first thing that comes to mind when you wake up on a Monday morning. Here we go again. I don't want to get out of bed. This is hard, right? I have those thoughts too. Those are very habitual thoughts that run through my mind when I'm not being intentional, when I'm just in like autopilot. That's your brain's job, is to like operate without having to be intentional. Okay. So we want to recognize that so that we can be intentional so that we can override it with thoughts that are actually going to benefit us. So last week, what worked well, I successfully completed my to do's, maintained a consistent exercise routine and effectively managed my time between work and personal commitments, which made me feel content. Now, now that you're in a place of being intentional, thinking about what worked? Now is the time we want to ask ourselves what didn't work. Your brain, of course, when you were asked what worked, your brain, I promise you had a whole list of all the things that didn't work. It always like leans into the negative. It skews like pessimistic thoughts. So we very intentionally ask this question second after we've got our brain in a place that's very factual. So now I want you to stay in that factual place. No drama. I just want you to bullet point what didn't work last week. I found it challenging to stick to my planned schedule during the busy periods, which led to some actions being delayed. See how factual that is? There's not a lot of drama. I just had like three bullet points in mine and they were just things that didn't get done. That's it. No drama. So take a minute, decide what didn't work last week and from there you get to make an informed decision about what you're going to do differently this week. You're going to look at what worked well, you're going to look at what didn't work. And now with that kind of data, you're going to make a decision about what you're going to do different this week. Maintain the balanced routine, schedule regular check ins for work life balance and focus on sustaining a calm approach. On mine, I did this exercise this morning. I put I will not make decisions from stress and I will practice confidence even before I feel it. So I'm not going to make decisions from stress and I'm going to practice confidence even before I feel it. That's what I'm going to do different this week. Notice mine has everything to do with feelings. If you can keep yourself in that very emotionally focused place, you will win. I will promise you, I'll guarantee you if you stay intentional with your emotions, you will win. So today's call is all about emotional ownership. That's where the real power lies. So it doesn't matter if your goal is to land a date this week, if it's to lose two pounds this week, if it's to connect with an old friend this week, emotional ownership. Staying in a place where you are focused on intentional emotions, generating feelings with intention, you will have the power, you will win. Okay, so now is where you will just create four quick goals for yourself. Mine are just kind of sub goals of my bigger smart goals. So goal one for me is a podcast, goal two is a webinar, goal three is revenue, and goal four is liquidate. That probably doesn't mean much to you. But there's actions under each of those goals for me that I can take that are going to get me closer to achieving those goals. So under the podcast, it's record, edit, produce and record a commercial. Very simple. So I just want you to connect with what it is that you decided you wanted from these next three months. These books are three month time spans. You can go back and look at those smart goals or you can simply just decide right now, what is it? What kind of goals do I have for myself this week? And then if I was watching somebody else achieve that goal, what would I see them doing? So if your goal is to lose two pounds this week, it might be to prioritize protein. Might be to get at least 100 grams of protein every single day. It might be to drink. That would be one action. Another action would be to drink eight 32 ounce water bottles full of electrolyte water. It might be to strength train two times this week. If your goal is to land a date, I know a lot of you on here are from the dating with Gracie community. In that classroom, inside of your membership in the classroom, there are all sorts of best practices to landing dates, to approaching women, to creating a five star date, to landing the second date. All of those are the actions that you would want to prioritize. You get to decide what is it that's going to get you closer to landing that date. If you're somebody who's wanting to heal a specific relationship, deciding what it is you want from that relationship might be the first action. Reaching out to that person and setting up a time to talk might be the second action. Taking responsibility for your part in this relationship might be the third action. Okay, anybody have any questions? Okay, so the next step is to create a to do list. Now these are the actions that we take on a weekly basis, okay? So you undoubtedly have all sorts of to do's rattling around in your mind. So these are the non goal related to do's. These are the things that show up on post it notes. These are the things that you might find in a text chain or in an email chain. Your brain is not a vault. Your brain is a processor, okay? So do not treat your brain like a vault. It handcuffs you. You want to get all of that information out of your mind so that you can create space for intention. So do yourself a favor and make a list of all of those non goal related to do's. This is a list that will undoubtedly grow throughout the week. This is a list that you can check things off from a lot of my weekly to dos are to dos that didn't get done last week. So I'm, I'm just simply transferring them over. But this is my way of ensuring they're not going to slip through the cracks. So these things don't have as much to do with the goals that we were just talking about. These are like going to the grocery store, going to the dmv, making the vet appointment. I have had on mine for probably four weeks now. Organize my Google Drive, we're trying to sell a car, I need to spray for weeds in my backyard. Those are three things that just simply keep getting carried over week after week. I haven't found the time to get them done yet. But do yourself a favor, capture all of those to do's. Give your brain the space to be intentional, not to try to remember unimportant things. Your brain is not a vault, it is a processor. So get all of those things out of your mind to open up the space to do what it does best. This next page we will come back to but I'll just give you a little top line of what it's for. Every morning I highly recommend that you check in with yourself. You ask yourself how you're feeling and then you ask yourself why are you feeling that way? This is what we call self coaching. You come to this call or you come to a group coaching call to get coached. But you can coach yourself on the daily and this is your place to do that. Okay, we'll come back to this in a minute but right now I want to dive in to the daily planning. So because it's Monday, it's the start of the week, we are going to plan out your day together. We are not going to wait any longer to feel better about today, about this week, about a person, about our weight, about our finances, about the love that we have in our life. We're not going to wait to feel better. We could wait until the cows come home. We are going to decide right now we're going to feel better. So how do you do that? You feel better by looking at these self made feelings, reminding yourself of what are the thoughts that create these feelings. Nobody, nothing creates feelings for you. You create feelings, your feelings, you create your emotions by what it is that you choose to think. So if you are on board with me right now deciding that you're not going to wait any longer to feel better about your finances, about the love life that you have, about the career that you have, about your Weight. If you're going to decide to feel better today, this is the chart that you should be referencing five times a day at least. This planner is not about, it's not just about the tasks. It's about reclaiming your emotional like agency, about the authority, about the control that you actually have over your life. Without this kind of exercise, most people will live a lifetime without realizing the kind of power that they actually have. So if you're ready to feel better, this is what you should be looking at right now. You decide. How is it that I want to be feeling today? Do you want to feel innovative? Do you want to feel free? Do you feel brave? Do you want to feel clear? Do you want to feel peace, confident? Grateful? Do you want to feel love? You get to decide. You get to choose. I have a tattoo and so does Gracie. It says choose to be happy. I have to be reminded of that sometimes that it's actually a choice. But that's the tattoo that we both have on our wrist. It's so meaningful because it's simply just a choice, you guys. But without realizing that you actually have agency. You have the opportunity to choose every single moment of every single day. You'll default to not choosing and everything will be run off of that primitive fear based brain. So we stay in the driver's seat by being intentional. You're not sad because of what happened. You're sad because of what you're choosing to focus on. And I like to just remind everyone that discomfort, sadness, overwhelm, all that is is a signal. Use it as data. It is not the destination. It does not mean game over. It's just the indicator that there's some work to do. That's all it is. So ask yourself if the feeling that I'm experiencing right now, if my feeling is caused by my focus, whatever it is that I'm focused on, not the event, but wherever my focus is, what thought am I rehearsing that's keeping me feeling stuck? Ask yourself that. And once you find that, go back to this chart and archive that, collect that data. If my feeling of guilt is being caused by where my focus is not an event, it's not being caused by the money in my bank account. It's being caused because I'm thinking I should have done better. That's what's causing. The guilt or the shame has nothing to do with the actual circumstance. It has everything to do with what it is that you're thinking. So capture that. Decide with intention how it is that you want to be feeling today. This is what it looks like to be in alignment with your future self, with the person that has already created what it is that you want. Okay, so back to the daily planner. We're gonna just fill in all of the background information. I want you guys to put the times of all of your commitments today. So of course all of you are on this 9:00am Central Standard Time call, the reset call. What else do you have in regards to the commitments today? You're just simply putting in the time and putting in the commitment. That's all you're doing. And if you have repetitive commitments, repeating commitments throughout the week, you can actually plan ahead. So you just put today's date, tomorrow or tomorrow's date, Wednesday's date, Thursday's date. Okay. And if you have commitments that you already know about, I do this on Sundays. Every single Sunday. I just go through and create a week's worth of daily planners. My weeks look very similar week after week after week, and I add to it and things get canceled and, and that's okay, but to the best of my ability, I fill out this schedule. Okay, Any questions on that? This is just laying the groundwork for being intentional. A daily planner. Most people think of it as like time management. If you use this planner as emotional and mental management, you will win. If you use it as just a time management tool, you'll just keep getting the same results that you've always gotten. So using this component of managing your time, all it's doing is supporting you in managing your mind and managing your emotions. We're just looking for the circumstances that are coming up in our life that we might want to be intentional with our thoughts and feelings. That's all this is doing. Okay. Of course it might be keeping you a little bit organized too, but in the self made you world, what we're doing is we're supporting ourselves in making decisions. So if you have a bunch of white space here, I recommend going back to either your weekly to do's or your intentions and asking yourself, what from these lists can I accomplish today? What makes sense to be intentional with? Maybe you're going to have time to write that first draft. Great. I recommend scheduling it if you're not exactly sure when it's going to fit in. It could go into your daily to do's. But this daily to do's is not just a feel good box. This is a commitment to yourself that before your head hits the pillow, these things are going to get done. So it's either scheduled, you either put a time to it or you're committing that before your head hits the pillow. These things are going to be done and these come from this list and these intentions. So ideally you want to be able to transfer every one of these items into a daily planner. So you got seven upcoming days to transfer these to do's and these actions. And I have just found that if I don't schedule it and they just fall into this box, it doesn't typically get done. I know that I've learned about myself that I am a very like time oriented person so I need to schedule it. You might not be like that and it might work out really well for you to just operate with the notion of before my head hits the pillow, these things will be done. I will not go to bed until everything on this in this box is checked off. That's great. Anybody have any questions? Okay, so from here now I want you to pick three events. You can pick them from your your schedule, you could pick them from your to dos. It could be a goal, it could be somebody that you're going to interact with today. I just want you to pick event number one, event number two and event number three. And now I want you to ask yourself, how do I want to feel in an ideal world? How do I want to feel about this event? If you're having a hard time answering that question, go back and reference this feelings chart. We also have it on the bookmark that camp comes with the book. You've got a list of emotions and on the back you've got suggested thoughts and beliefs that will help generate that emotion. Anybody want to share an event, one of their three events? Don't be shy. In this example they picked the meeting with the team that was happening at 10am that's their first event. How do they want to feel? They want to feel confident because if you don't choose, if you don't decide how you want to feel about an event, if you're not being intentional, you're being unintentional. And when you're unintentional, you're going to self sabotage. Okay? So we want to keep that from happening by being intentional. This is how you do it. This is what I mean when I say this planner holds your hand through being intentional. It teaches you, you practice this every single day. So this person wants to feel confident at 10am when they're meeting with the team. What is it that you'd have to believe to generate that feeling? The team responds positively to my ideas. Now that seems so insignificant, right? But if you're not intentionally believing that. What are you unintentionally thinking? What kinds of emotions are you unintentionally creating? It's a night and day difference, you guys. And when you have the power, when you have the control to choose, why wouldn't you? I always say this in our calls. Now that you know better, there is no excuse to do anything different. Like, you now know that you actually have the control to feel something different, to own your emotions. So there is absolutely no excuse to not do this work. If you're somebody that finds yourself in victim mode, it's because you're thinking that you have no control, which is a lie. You do have control. No matter what the circumstances, the control is in how you are deciding to think. You may not be able to control the person or the event, but you can control how it is that you're thinking. And that's what this exercise is proving to you. So you decide that you want to feel confident and you ask yourself what thought, what belief creates that emotion? And then check your work. Go back. The team responds positively to my ideas. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I believe that? You have to like take yourself there and check your work. Because if you don't, then these little quips are just quips, they're just affirmations. And guess what that creates. If you don't believe it, it creates skepticism. And now you're operating from skepticism and it backfires. So don't do that to yourself. Don't just use my pretty packaged thoughts. You've got to do this work for yourself. You've got to ask yourself what believable thought will create that feeling in this context? In meeting with the team, the team responds positively to my ideas. If you're not intentionally thinking that, you're probably thinking, here we go again. I really don't want to be there. I'm so bored with my job. The team doesn't respect me. Whatever. Okay, you gotta come up with your intentional thought. Any questions? Okay. Event number two, ask yourself, how do you want to feel? Working on the presentation is something that this person wants to get done today and they want to feel determined. And how are they going to generate that feeling? My presentation is clear and engaging. If they're not intentionally thinking that, they're certainly not going to be feeling determined and they will be operating on autopilot from their fear based brain and they're going to be thinking unintentionally, a whole lot of dramatic thoughts. You want to keep that from happening. So doing this Work ahead of time. Deciding ahead of time is what's going to keep you intentional on a mental and an emotional level. And then your third event. How is it that you want to feel while you are journaling this evening? This person wants to feel grateful and their thought, their believable thought. This clears my mind and helps me focus. That makes them feel grateful. This is a grounding exercise, you guys. From here, you want to check back in with those thoughts. You want to remind yourself because the neural pathways are very well established by your primitive brain, by your fear based brain. So you might believe in this thought that you've just written down that creates confidence for about 10 seconds. And then your brain jumps, tracks, and it goes back to that primitive way of thinking. So this is not easy, a simple framework to follow. But you've got to keep like redirecting your brain, your focus back into the intentional way of thinking and feeling. Otherwise it will just default to the fear based way of thinking. So this takes work, this takes like a deep connection with yourself. We're using kind of insignificant events to create the evidence of how well this works. You can use significant events to create evidence of how well this works. Maybe you want to feel grounded and you have in, in the midst of a crisis, what is it that you would have to be believing to feel grounded? Maybe it's, you want to feel clear, you want to experience clarity. What is it that you would have to be believing to feel that way? I, that's one of the feelings that I go after on a regular basis. And the believable thought for me is I don't need all the answers, I just need to know the next step that creates clarity for me. But if I don't check in with that belief that creates clarity, my primitive brain is running on overdrive and telling me this isn't good enough, you're doing it wrong. Which creates anxiety and overwhelm. And then all of my behaviors are being driven from anxiety and overwhelm. So it's worth it to me to ask myself a million and one times a day, how is it that I want to feel? I want to feel clear, how do I feel that way by going back to that.