Monday Reset Call Feb 17 2025

Good morning.

Good morning. How are you?

Good. How are you?

Pretty good. Just getting ready for work.

Good morning. Good morning.

Did you step into a time machine, Tracy?

Yeah. She is currently on her flight home from Arizona.

Nice.

These meetings are hosted on her zoom. So I have to her and then start the meeting. Otherwise none of us would be able to get in.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Is it Gracie or Gracie?

Yes, it's Gracie.

Grace. Yourself, Tracy.

Yes. We haven't met. Andre.

Yes, I'm Andre. How's it going?

It's great to meet you too. Where are you from?

I'm from Canada.

Okay.

Yeah.

Toronto.

Very nice. Very nice. Not too far from Minnesota.

No, it's actually not too far. I'm not sure how. I'm in Toronto. I know. Toronto is nine hours from Chicago.

Okay. Yeah.

Minnesota is how long from Chicago?

How far away Chicago from here is like six hours. Okay.

Okay, so it's maybe like 15 hours or something or.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's probably. Yeah, it's probably up there.

It's six hours driving. Not flying. Because flying, it's very short.

Yes.

Oh, yeah. Flying everything short.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where in Minnesota are you?

I'm about. I'm right outside the twin cities. Like 15 minutes outside the Twin Cities.

The Twin Cities. That's Minneapolis or.

What's that?

Yes, very cool.

And it's cold there, right?

Yes, it's cold here. It is. It is negative. I think it's technically negative 15 right now, but it says it feels like negative 20. Oh, wow.

Whenever it's negative. Something. That's serious business.

Yeah, yeah, Right. I know. Yeah. People's cars aren't starting. Dogs can't go outside, go to the bathroom. Like, oh, my God. Wow. I'm.

I'm kind of jealous because, like, we had a really beautiful day of snow and then it just melted the next day. But negative 20, I'm like.

That'S a lot. It takes all the enjoyment out of winter when it's, like, unbearable. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Well, welcome to the Monday reset call. For anybody who hasn't attended these, these are weekly calls that happen with myself and Self Made you, which is my coaching business that my mom and I run together. And so. So these calls, for those of you that are in the Dating with Gracie community, these are merged with the self made you community. So you can always expect for there to be more than just the Dating with Gracie community on these calls. Specifically, these are the only ones on the Dating with Gracie calendar that merge the two groups. So it's kind of fun. It's fun to get different perspectives. It's fun to have different access to different people with calls like these. So not to mention the tools that we use on these calls are super beneficial if you actually use them, if you commit to them. So yeah, so these are awesome. I, I was just doing, I started my weekly reflection right before getting on this call and it just. Every time I sit down and I actually take the time to, to use this tool, it is a game changer for my week. Like it completely changes the trajectory of my week because I fully lock in on what it is that I want to accomplish. And I'm organized. Like this is, this is the tool that keeps me very organized and keeps me on track because I have a lot of things going on in my day to day every single week with my business and my personal life. And so if you are somebody who struggles to stay on track with your goals, if you struggle to hold yourself accountable, this is your tool. This is the thing that you should be using every single day.

Okay, when are the new books going to be available?

Yeah, great question. That is actually the question of the day. I have no idea. They're supposed to be available mid February. They're on a ship somewhere. So I'm not totally sure when they actually get into Amazon. That is a good question for my mom. So I will send a blast out once I actually have the answer to that because she's the one that's in contact with China. Oh my God.

I think she said like three weeks to a month and it was about a month ago that she.

Yes.

I just, I just want the new planet.

I just want. I know, I know. Yeah. They are so beautiful, you guys. Like, I, we ordered the like sample version of them so we, we actually got to get some of them in before Amazon got them. They are amazing. Like, they are so mean.

And I like the bookmark that was with all the emotions.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, they are amazing. You're definitely going to want a physical copy of it when they're actually out. But I'm like printing the sheets. Yeah.

And I have like, of sheets and I'm like this.

Yes. Chaotic.

So.

I know, I know it is better in my life together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll be brilliant now for now we'll, we'll manage with the work sheets and then the book is out. I will let you guys know. So I will pull up. So for anybody in the Dating with Gracie community, these sheets are in the Monday reset worksheet post that's pinned to the top of the community. So if you don't have these pulled up, that's where you can find them. If you just go to the main community page. So I will pull up the actual sheet so that you can. So that we can all see them together. Go. Can you guys see that? Yeah. Okay, perfect, perfect. And then let me get my notes pulled up. Okay, so we'll start with the weekly reflection sheet. And so this is something we do every single week. Every single one of these sheets that I'm going to show you we do on a weekly basis. And so we always start with the weekly reflection sheet. Like I said, this is what I was doing right before I got on the call. And it is so powerful to like really dissect your previous week so that you know the direction you want to head this week. Okay, so let me just scroll down. Okay, so actually, I don't know if we started with in the book. Okay, yeah, so the weekly reflections. Let's do that first. So we're going to walk through each one of these points and it's important to do them in order so that you can be thinking with intellect rather than emotion. And what I mean by that is like, if we started with what didn't work last week, then our emotions are going to override the intellectual. Okay? So we always want to start with what worked well. And that's almost the hardest question to answer on a weekly basis. Because our primitive brain, our fear based brain, immediately wants to jump to what didn't work. It's a lot harder to challenge your brain on what went well and what you can actually give yourself credit for than it is to look at what didn't work. Because that's our brain. We are always our worst criticism and our brain is always firing off what didn't work what, what we should be doing differently and things like that. So we always, always, always want to start with what worked well. And so this is like reflecting on the previous week. So last week what worked well. That's what I want you guys to fill out right now. Okay. And if you, if you were on this call last week and you filled out the weekly intention sheet, that would help you kind of refresh on your week. So you can look back at the weekly intention sheet that you filled out last week and get some ideas of the things that you were trying to accomplish. And then that will help you when you're answering these reflection questions. Okay. Side note, I started drinking this new coffee. It's called Chameleon and it Comes in like a glass bottle. I don't know if they have it in other places in the world, but they have it in Minnesota. And it is literally the best coffee I think I've ever had. It's a cold brew. I'm. I don't know what's in it, I don't know what crack they put in it. But for some reason I drink this and I literally have more energy than I think I've ever had in my entire life after just one glass of this. I don't know what it is, but I'm obsessed with it now and we.

Can kind of like low key tell.

Oh my God. I, I don't know what it is, but I started drinking it last week and I was like, I will never go back. I won't. I just, I. There will never be a coffee that beats this. I don't think. Like, it's amazing. So if any sugar coffee, there are versions of it that have sugar in it.

Okay.

There's versions that don't. So like the, this is the blonde one. It comes in like a gold like label. The blue one is vanilla. That one doesn't have any added sugar. And then they like black coffee too. And I just literally do it with milk. It's so good. So anyways, thought I'd, I'd share my little tidbit for the. I love that you're one of those.

People who drinks cold coffee in absolutely frigid weather.

Yeah, I'll keep that in mind.

I never, I never would have. I very much like hot coffees, even like in the summertime. But this is so good. I will drink it in negative 20 degree weather. I don't know. It is like unmatched.

You gotta hit them up on Instagram and see if you can be their ambassador.

Right. That is such a good idea, Brad. You know what? I'm gonna do that.

Go outside in the snow and drink it. It'd be like, doesn't matter the weather. I'm down to the canoe coffee, you guys.

I love ideas. I going to do that. I'm going to reach out to them.

That's funny.

Okay, so now that we've, we've wrote down what went well for the week, now write some things down that you felt like didn't work for last week. Okay. My mom wrote me some notes for things to make sure that I cover on this. Um, let's see the biggest piece with this. I think this reflection in general is just to be present with like where your mind goes when you think about Answering questions like this, where does your mind immediately go? Right. Like I said, it's normal. If your mind is immediately going to like, well, I did this wrong, I did this wrong and I should have done this differently. That's where our brain likes to stay in. And that happens very unintentionally. That's how we operate on default. So the work is really to use our intellect, use our, like, questioning when it comes to stuff like this, and question what the thoughts that are coming up for you when you do an exercise like this. Notice where your mind will go, okay? And then the last piece is, what will I do differently for next week? So if there are things on that list that didn't work well that you immediately feel like, okay, I know I could do this differently for the next week. That's what we want to put in this box. Okay? So at the bottom of this sheet, you'll see the rate my week, little check boxes. This is for your eyes only. On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being not at all, 5, being highly aware, how aware of the sabotaging feelings and thoughts that were created that were creating those feelings for you. How aware were you? How aware were you in those moments where you maybe were experiencing some unwanted feelings, maybe you were feeling unworthy or vulnerable or frustrated or overwhelmed? At any point last week, how aware were you of those feelings when they were happening? Most of us, if we're not thinking about it, we think it's because of our job. We think it's because a customer treated us poorly, right? Like, we'll think it's because of the number in our bank account or the number on the scale. We'll think it's because of the circumstances that are happening that made us feel frustrated, resentful, disappointed, angry. But in reality, what's actually happening is it was the thoughts you were thinking about, those circumstances that were creating the unwanted feelings. Okay, so on a scale of 1 to 5, how aware were you? And then the second thing is, on a scale of 1 to 5, how much control do you feel over the progress that you're making towards your goals? And these ratings are here to help you yet again see the progress. So that week over week, you are meeting or exceeding those numbers. Okay, so now we will go to the weekly intention sheet that looks like this. So if you have the worksheets pulled up, this is the one you want to go to. So put Today's date, Monday, February 17th. And I want you to restate your goals. Okay? None of us should have more than four Goals, you can flip back to last week's weekly intention sheet to help you remember what those goals are for you. If you haven't created four goals for yourself, start thinking about what you'd want these four goals to be. We look at goals in a three month time span. That's how we want to set goals so that we can make them very achievable and we can work towards them on a weekly basis. Okay, so you can flip back. I mean, for people who have the book, it's pages 18 through 21. Those were where we set the goals. That's where we did the goal setting workshop and the smart goals. So again, if. And for those of you who haven't been on the workshop, again, there are worksheets in the community that will help you kind of set these goals. Okay, so what are this week's intentions? What are this week's goals that you want to focus on? So you can either put the full goal, the big goal, or if you want to break it down into little smaller goals for this week, that's fine too. And a lot of times what we'll see is people will transfer their goals from the week before and that's fine too. If you feel like you didn't make enough progress or you feel like you didn't hit the goals from last week, it's totally fine to transfer them into, into this week. Especially now that we've done the reflection on what maybe didn't work and what you want to do differently so that we can make some progress on those goals that you had set for last week. Anybody have any questions so far? How are we doing? Good.

Okay.

Getting some head nods. Awesome. Okay, so as you're filling out this sheet, other things that we are going to want to keep in mind, like, oh, I think this is for the, this is for the daily to dos. Okay, hold on, we'll get back to that. So you want to pick your four goals and then we want to list out the actions underneath that. The very specific actions to that goal that will help you actually achieve it this week or get closer to it this week. Okay, so if your goal was to expand your social circle, if that was one of your big goals. Right. Then maybe the smaller goal that goes into this week is to find a new hobby group. And then the actions that would fall underneath that is like looking at forums, talking to people in your network, seeing what things are in your area, getting signed up for something, trying something new. Okay, so that's how we want to look at this. We've got the goal, and then we've got the action steps that would help you move closer to that goal. Okay.

Say, Gracie, if you. If you are carrying a goal through, say you didn't manage to achieve it last week. You know, you'd put your. Your. The actions that you were going to take, but then you didn't manage to do that. Are you just. Do you just move that whole thing forward, or do you. Do you have to tweak it and change it?

I would move it forward. You can tweak it. You can change it. If you feel like you set a really lofty goal that now that you've had the experience of last week, you're like, I don't think that's achievable in a week span, then we can definitely tweak it. Okay.

That's actually really what I was. I can't speak English today, so I'm sorry. But, yes, that's actually where I was heading. So you read my mind. Thank you. That's good.

Thank you. Yes. I mean, the really ambitious people out there, when you come. When it comes to goal setting, like, my brain, when it comes to goal setting, it explodes, and it's like, let's shoot for the stars. Otherwise, it's not even worth setting goals. And that's just not the case. Right. Like, achievable goals. That's what we want to shoot for. And so there is going to be a little bit of, like, flux in. And what these goals actually realistically look like, and that's the point of. Of sticking with this planner on a daily basis, is that you can get a really, really good idea of, is this an achievable goal in a week? Spanish, or do we need to tweak it so that it can be achievable? What would it look like to tweak it so that it can be achievable? Okay, Brent, go ahead.

I was gonna say, I think that's why it's important to do the weekly reflections, because that last question, what can I do differently? Might help you to maybe tweak your goals moving forward.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah. Okay, so now we have the weekly To Do's page, and again, we're going to reference last week's things that may have not gotten done. Right. I usually have, like, I try to, like, explode this sheet. I try to fill it all the way out when I can. And a lot of the things that I put on this list usually have to be transferred to the next one. Right. Like, if you have a lot of to do's going on, it's okay that this page doesn't fully get done. But the idea is that like we're going to keep ticking off the things on this list throughout the weeks and these are the things in your day to day life. So these aren't necessarily the to do's that align with your goals. These are all the other things that come in your daily life. Like, Like I have to take me all to the groomers today. That's something that happens on this week's to do's list, right? I am celebrating a birthday this week, so I've got to go get some gifts, right? So like these are the things that would fall on my weekly to do's list so that I can keep them organized so that I can see all the things kind of floating around that I'd like to get done this week. And then we will transfer these things into the daily planner sheet once we have our goals and the actions for our goals as well as the priorities that hit our calendar. So we'll look at that in just a little bit here. So I'll give you guys a second to fill out your weekly to dos. Get the things from your list that you need to put on this list and things will pop up. It's okay if you can't fill everything out every point out on this sheet. Use it throughout the week. Come back to this sheet throughout the week, keep checking in with it. And if things come up, like, that's like one of. I think one of my favorite parts about the planner is like having something on my desk all the time for me to just like quickly pop out into when I need it. Like these weekly to dos because things always are popping up. So it's okay to leave some of this blank and not have it completely filled out because you'll fill it out throughout the week as well. Okay, how we looking? We want more time or we want to go to the next one? Can give you guys more time. I'm like the slowest writer, I think, on the planet. I don't know why my brain like computes writing so slowly. So if you're a slow writer, don't worry, we can take more time on these. I was like literally the kid in class that teachers had to give me like an extra sheet of notes when they were doing presentations because I couldn't write them fast enough before they'd go to the next slide. So they would literally have to print off the notes for me. Otherwise I would not get them.

Maybe that's just because you were taking everything in.

Yeah. Yeah. I would like to say that it was for a good reason. I think it was just, like. Honestly, I think I just had so much anxiety about missing the notes, but that's all I was thinking about. Like, oh, my God, I've got to finish up these notes.

I was just about to say that From. From a. From, you know, my. My perspective, that's. I've seen that with kids. It's not. It's. It's the fear of getting it wrong that then stops them from actually starting. So it's totally understandable in those cases. Most. Most teachers do ne. Do actually prepare things ahead of time to take that extra stress out of so you can concentrate on the things that you need to do. So I'm glad they did it for you, Gracie. Just means you're a very clever girl, sweetie.

Touch. Oh, my gosh. I. I did learn how to work the system. No, I was the one that submitted notes for.

For other students, so we would have been brilliant together and we would have gotten. Obviously.

Yes, yes. No, I was very much, like, in the highlighting crew. Like, if I could just have the notes where I could sit and highlight things as we went through that was my jam. But writing them out. Yeah, you're exactly right, Kiki. That's. That was me. I was. I was very much worried about writing it wrong or spelling it wrong, that I would erase, rewrite a hundred times over, and then I wouldn't get the notes.

You figured it out, though.

Yes. Yes. We made it through. Okay, so now we have the brain dump page. Okay, so here, just put the date Today is Monday, February 17, and then jot down what it is that you're feeling right now. Okay. Because if we're being honest, as we're planning out our week, oftentimes this is where some anxiousness or some restlessness or some overwhelm will start. Especially if you've got, like, a crazy week. It's very easy for your. Your base brain, your primitive brain to kind of click in here when it comes to all of the things now that you've done a weekly to do sheet and you've looked at your goals that you're trying to achieve. It's very easy for your primitive brain to grab onto that and be like, this is too much. This is so much. How am I supposed to get all of it done? And it's because we're looking at it from, like, a very broad scope. You're looking at everything all at Once. And so sitting in this moment, it would make a lot of sense that you would feel overwhelmed by the amount of things you just wrote down. And again, this might happen throughout the week too, right. As we get closer to deadlines or as we get closer to the end of the week and you're like, whoa, I haven't, I haven't gotten far enough on this goal that I set. Your brain might click on.

Yeah, I really liked what. Because, because I'm, you know, I'm. Oh, I'm used to the other system where you had the, the daily sort of dump kind of thing. And so I like the fact that. Because of course, you know, I can't do anything unless somebody tells me it's okay to do it. So when your mom said, you can use this, split it up and use it. So day by day by day by day. Yeah, I actually found that easy because I do like to have that opportunity first thing in the morning when my brain is going about the day to write it down and just calm myself down.

Yeah. Yes. I like splitting this page up too. I, I'm not, like I said, I'm not a huge writer. I don't like sitting down and jotting down a bunch of notes all the time. And so it is helpful for me at least to make this like very small snippets of like, what is it that I'm feeling right now? Like, just identify the feeling that you're having and then put a thought to it. Where is that feeling coming from? What am I thinking right now? What's creating that feeling for me right now? And yeah, I mean, you can, you can split this into seven chunks if you want to. You can do that every single day if you want to. Right. Or you can do it on the days where you're especially noticing some of those unwanted feelings. And this will just help you become aware of where they're coming from. And sometimes the awareness alone is enough to quiet down that primitive brain. Okay, so if you're experiencing an unwanted feeling, prompt yourself, ask yourself questions. Question the feeling, why am I feeling this way? Why am I worried right now? What am I really worried about? If things aren't in perfect order, then what, what's the worst case scenario here? Right? And like really kind of question those thoughts instead of allowing your fear based brain to run away with them. Okay. It's normal to have these feelings. We all have sabotaging feelings throughout the week. It's normal, it's not a big deal. But we want to catch them rather than. And we want to catch them and then, and then intentionally decide how we want to move forward rather than letting your fear based brain decide for you that you're going to spiral out and this is going to be it. This is going to be the worst day ever. That meeting that didn't go so well, it's going to throw off the entire week. It's going to throw off the entire day. That boss that sucks. Right? Like, if you don't want to spiral out over things like this, this is where becoming aware of it and getting really solid about where it's coming from is going to be a game changer for your week. Okay, so the next page, these are the daily planner sheets. Okay, Let me zoom out so that you can see the full thing. Okay, so on these daily planner sheets, put the date again, February 17th. And you can, you can decide how you want to do these sheets. Okay. Some people like to work ahead and fill out the pieces that they already know ahead of time. Some people like to do this sheet all at once every single morning. I'd recommend at least filling in some of it each day. So if you want to work ahead, like sometimes I will go in, I'll look at the things that I already have on my calendar for the week, like certain meetings, recording our podcast, some of the group calls. Right. The things that are hitting my calendar for sure. I like to go in and place those on the today's schedule piece of each sheet. Okay, so this is, you should have seven days of these sheets and so you can start filling these out. But let's just, let's just look at today's and then you can go and, and do more of it if you'd like to, or you can do them on a daily basis. So today's schedule, you want to put the things that actually are going to hit your calendar for sure on today's schedule. The little dashes on the left hand side, those are for you to put the time. And then under the today's schedule column, that's where you put the event or what's going on. Right. So mine would look like 9am Monday, reset call, 10am or 10:30am Leave the house to go pick my parents up from the airport and then drop Meatball off at his appointment at 11:15. And then at 12:30 we're going to record our podcast. And then at 4pm I have a meeting with another podcast host. Okay, so like these are the things that you want to jot down on your daily planner sheet. Okay. Want to get the things that are actually on your calendar, on that schedule. Then from there, you want to pick three of those things that you just put on that today's schedule. Three events that you want to intentionally decide how it is. You want to think and feel about it. You want to intentionally create results for those three events. Okay, so mine would be. Event one would be recording our podcast. And then you pick the event, and then you decide how it is that you want to feel that the whole purpose of this. This is such a powerful exercise because you are intentionally deciding, you're intentionally generating the feeling you want to have for that specific event on a daily basis. Okay? So the podcast, I'll tell you why this is. This is so powerful for me, is because those podcasts, while they are so much fun, they also come with a lot of work. Okay? They come with a lot of admin work. All the editing, all of the. All of the prep to, like, actually get them posted, all of the prep to actually get them set up, all the prep to actually figure out what we're going to talk about. Like, there's just a lot that goes into it. And if I'm not being intentional when it comes to recording, sometimes I show up and I feel overwhelmed or I feel, like, stressed about the amount of work that I'm going to have to do after we record. Or sometimes I'm just tired of, like, I drive all the way out home and I sit down to do the podcast, and I'm just exhausted. And you can hear that in my voice on the podcast. I'm sure there's been podcasts where people have been listening to me talking. They're like, dude, did you not sleep last night? Like, what's your deal? And that's not what I want, right? I want this to be a podcast where people walk away with tons of value. I want this to be a podcast where men actually get what it is that they're coming for, not a podcast that they show up for. And they're like, what is her problem?

I think it's usually your mom that makes those comments.

So, yeah, she. She definitely calls me out, for sure. But that's the thing. If I'm not being intentional, if I don't decide ahead of time, like, if I don't remind myself that the way I want to feel about recording the podcast is energized, that's usually the feeling I. I want to generate. And I don't remind myself of the believable thought that creates that energy for me, which mine is usually somewhere along the lines of like, I have the coolest job in the world. I'm so lucky to be able to do this. This podcast actually really helps men with their dating lives. It's usually a rotation of one of those that helps me feel energized. So what we're doing is we're picking the event. We're then deciding how you want to feel, not how you think you're going to feel, how you want to feel. That's a common mistake. Here is like, we'll pick an event and if you're consistently feeling a certain way about that event, like your Monday meetings with your boss, if you're consistently like another Monday meeting with my boss, then sometimes we forget that and we put that in the in line, we put dread. So it's not how you think you're going to feel, it's how you want to feel. How do you want to feel about that meeting with your boss? I'm sure it's not dread because that results in a whole lot of negativity and probably not a lot of productiveness in the meeting. Right? So decide how you want to feel and then ask yourself, what is a believable thought that creates that feeling? Okay. It has to be believable. This cannot be like something you just whip out of thin air that you're trying to convince yourself of, right? And so if you have a Monday meeting with your boss that you usually dread and you decide, I want to feel, I want to feel helpful or I want to feel proud or I want to feel productive, right? If it's, I want to feel productive, if that's the feeling you're trying to generate, then maybe the, the thought is something along the lines of, I just need to focus for an hour. I should keep my focus on what it is I need to get done for an hour, right? You decide what the believable thought is for you that's going to generate the feeling that you want. And we do that for three events each day. And it doesn't always have to be an event that you dread. It can just be an event that, like, you're wanting to go. Well, right? I have, like I said, I have a meeting with a big, a big name and podcast at 4:00 clock today. And to be honest, I'm kind of nervous about it, but I don't want to be nervous about it. I don't want to go in this fumbling my words, right. I want to go into this feeling assured. I want to go into this feeling curious. Honestly don't know what this guy's looking for or if I'll be a good fit for his show. So I want to go into this feeling curious. I wonder what I'm going to learn. I wonder if I'm going to be a good fit. I wonder if we'll mesh well. That's where I want to keep my mind not on. Is he going to like me? Is he going to want me to be on a show? Is he going to think I'm a good fit for him? No. And that, that is true for I think if you're applying to this, to a date, right? For the men that are on this, it's so easy to go into a date with those kind of thoughts. Is she gonna like me? Am I gonna say the right thing? Is she gonna want to go out with me again? And it's like you're, for one, you're not even, you're not even giving yourself the opportunity to make those decisions because dates are a two way street. You have to decide that you want to go out with her again. Right. And so you're completely shifting your focus, putting yourself back in the driver's seat. I just want to be curious. I just want to see if we'll, we'll even like having conversations together. That's the first step, right? This was like I, my mom created this tool when I was in the dating scene myself. And this was the work that I was doing every single time I went on a date. Because I used to be a nervous wreck when I would go on first dates. Like literally my thoughts were always, is he gonna like me? Is this, is this going to be a good date? Are we gonna get it, go to a second date? Is this gonna be fun? Am I going to embarrass myself? It's like I was just a mess until I started using this tool. Until I started intentionally deciding how I wanted to feel. And curious you usually was the feeling that really worked for me. But sometimes it was just excited, sometimes it was just interested. But I decided that was the point of it, is that I was deciding how I wanted to feel and what I needed to believe in order to feel that way. Okay. Then we also have the daily to dos portion of this. Okay. So that portion is. So we have the things that hit your calendar for sure. And then we have some of the things that don't necessarily fall on a certain point on your calendar, but they are things that you need or want to get done today. Right. So trying to think, I have some like follow up stuff that I need to do some follow up messages that I need to send out from yesterday's masterclass that doesn't necessarily fall at a certain time on my calendar, but it is something that I need to do, something that I need to get done. So that's what would go in my daily to do's portion. Okay, what questions do we have? I know I talked at you guys for a while, so is anybody feeling lost? Is anybody feeling confused? Does anybody have a question? Brent, it looks like you have your hand up.

Yeah. Well, first things first, you're going to do great with the podcast. The reason why, you know, they invited you on there is because they see value in what you have to say. So just remember that.

Yes.

Thank you.

You're welcome. And then as far as, I mean, I, I like that you're the one leading today's group because it helps me to kind of see things differently on how to, how all these, I guess how the process connects with each other. Because I was thinking about, you know, you do the weekly intentions and you do the weekly to do. So then when you come to the brain dump, you maybe there are things that you're feeling overwhelmed about, like, yeah, like I have to approach a couple girls this week, like, what am I going to say? Like, how am I going to feel? So then when you do get to the daily planner side of it, you can pick out those events and just be like, okay, like, I'm feeling very overwhelmed about approaching this week. How do, how am I feeling? But how do I want to feel? So I guess for me, like, I've kind of been just seeing the daily, Daily planner as like, I guess more random than it should be. I guess. So it was nice that you kind of maybe showed how they're interconnected so it doesn't have to be random events every day that I'm working on.

Yes, yes, for sure. Yeah, all of the pieces connect. It is a lot when you're first starting. It is a lot to get a hold of. And so it's okay if it takes you a couple weeks to like, really get in the groove of this. It is a, it is a really in depth tool and we're obviously looking at it from a daily basis. And so until you get into the pattern, until you get into the groove of like really implementing this into your daily life, a tool that you've never implemented before. Like, sometimes it takes a little bit to like really get in the groove of that. So be kind to yourself as you're learning how to implement this or incorporate this into Your life. Because there's days where I completely forget to write in here, right? Like, there's days that I completely. Or I just don't make the time in my schedule to do it. But what I'll tell you is I. Every single time that I do sit down to do this, every single time that I do actually give myself the time to fill these pages out, I feel more productive, I feel more organized, I feel more confident. I feel like. I feel like I am in control of my day or my week. And it's something that's so easy to kind of slip away from you if you're not being intentional. And this is the work that is, like, honestly, I feel like it's just, like, revolutionary because it's not something we were taught to do, and it takes a lot more work than we maybe necessarily would like, right? The more you do it, the easier it gets, the faster you'll get at it. But it does take work, right? Like, this isn't just some, like, easy thing to just kind of do on a daily basis. It takes actual intentional time and effort. But I promise you, your life, your daily life, your weekly life, your future self are going to be so much better off for it. So even if you can commit to three days a week, four days a week, right? And you can build yourself up to doing this on a daily basis, what will happen is you'll end up, like, craving to do this. Like, you'll end up sitting here being like, oh, I haven't done this yet. I. I want to go do that. Because you know how different you feel. You'll have the contrast of, like, this is how I feel when I intentionally decide, and this is how I feel when I don't. I dread those Monday meetings with my boss, and it throws off my entire day, and it makes Mondays suck. Or it's just a meeting, 60 minutes of my day. I'm not going to let my boss says, get to me. He might be annoying. But it's 60 minutes of my day I'm going to lock in because I don't want it to affect the rest of my day, right? So, yeah, really great point. Know that this is a process. It's not something that you just pick up and are magically, really good at. Like, with anything. It takes practice, and it takes, like, intentional commitment. Okay, so then the last piece of this is something you can reflect on at the end of your day or something that you can reflect on the following day. Like, you could just turn back to the previous sheet and just check in what self sabotaging feelings did I notice today? Okay. And then just be honest with yourself. Like I said, it's not a bad thing to feel any of these emotions. We are human and life is 50 50, so we are actually meant to feel the full spectrum of emotions good like quote unquote good emotions and quote unquote bad emotions. Right. And so if you felt any of these, that's okay. Let's like really look at it. Let's really be honest with ourselves about it. Let's figure out where it was coming from so that again, we can be intentional tomorrow and we can notice where it is that we're getting the anxiety. It feels like you are running on anxiety. Let's figure out why. Let's figure out where it's coming from so it'll make tomorrow so much easier when we have the awareness of, oh yeah, when I wake up in the mornings and I go straight into work without giving myself time, I feel major anxiety about the day. And that carries throughout the rest of the day. Good to know. Really good to know. Now we can decide tomorrow we're going to start the day off a little bit different. We're going to give ourselves time to sit down and enjoy our coffee before jumping right into work. We're going to give ourselves time to go out for a walk. We're going to give ourselves time to spend with ourselves or our partner or our dog, whoever. Right. Every piece of your day can be intentional if you want it to be. Okay, so like I said, you'll have seven of these sheets. So you'll have one for each day. Yeah, Cara, go ahead. Come on.

There we go. Can you touch again on the weekly intentions? I did, I think, feel like I'm doing this wrong because I have two, two health and wellness goals and then a finance goal and a physical environment goal. But I feel like I would just bulk all my health and wellness stuff under one goal and feels like to dos, you know, like jump rope once a week or something or drink two bottles of water or you know, like two things, you know.

Am I doing that right? Yeah. So you can use this page a few different ways. So you can use this as like a way to reconnect with your big goals on a weekly basis and then you can fill out action steps that it would take for this week to. Okay, so closer.

And that's kind of what I'm doing.

Yes. So you can, so you can definitely do it that way. Or if you're like, I have finance goals, I have health and Wellness goals. I have personal relationship goals. Right. And you're like, there's an area that you'd really like to keep your focus for this week. Like, it's tax season, so maybe like, the finance goals are, like, front and center right now. So you're like, I need to get on. On this. I really need to get some of this stuff knocked out. Then maybe, okay, like, a good piece that you. You focus on for the week. Right.

You get, like, gathering all of your tax documents. That's one thing. Or like, figuring out investing. And then you go into the daily planner and break that.

Yes.

Further. Okay.

Yes. So you can decide. You can decide if you want to focus, if you want to have a touch point on all four or however many of the bigger goals you've set, if you want to have a touch point on each of those every single week, then great, let's put a goal for each of them. Or let's put each of those goals on this weekly intention sheet every single week. If you are like, like, if one of your goals is, like, for fun and recreation, like, you just want to travel more or you want to have plans to travel more. Right. You also have, like, business goals. Right. And you're like, one comes before the other. So I need to keep my focus on this one. I need to keep my focus on my business goals right now. But I'm still having a touch point. I will still incorporate. I will still figure out which week my fun and recreation goals come into play. It's okay to kind of shift that way as well. You don't have to have a touch point on every single goal every single week. If you have areas that, you know, like, need more attention, that's actually a.

Really good example, because a lot of times business goals and travel more are connected of, like, I want to make more money, but I also want to take a month off, so. Or whatever. So, you know, how can I do. How can I take the time that I want off and still hit the goals that I want? And that I guess that could play into, like, fun, recreation or contribution or relationships, you know, like. Yeah, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay.

Cool. Cool. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. What else you guys do? We have other questions. Is anybody feeling lost or confused or wants me to go over something again? Like I said, this is a lot. Okay? Like, don't kid yourself that this is super easy to be implementing on a daily basis, because it does take intention, it does take effort. Okay? And so if you really want to get the most out of this tool and maybe that's a goal, right? Like, maybe it's like really honing in on this tool. Maybe that's one of your goals, is like, I want to get on a regular system. I want to get this into a regular practice of mine. And we look at the action steps to do that. Right. If it means blocking out a specific amount of time in the mornings, if it means every Sunday night, you open up this book and you get started on your weekly reflection, your weekly intentions for the the following Monday. Then you start filling out your calendar items so that you make your daily. Your daily sessions in the morning a little bit easier, a little bit less time each day. That's an option. Or if this works better for you to do at the end of the day. If you're like, I have no time in the mornings. I'm already jam packed. And I think that this is most powerful at the beginning of the day. But if you're like, I just can't do it. I can't wake up an extra 15, 20 minutes. Not. I don't have it in me right now. Do it at the end of the day right before you go to bed. This is what I have going on tomorrow. These are the events I want to focus on tomorrow. Right. This how I want to think and feel about those events tomorrow. Okay. Does anyone have a goal that they want to share for the week? Yeah, go for it, Andre.

Yeah. So I think just as part of the dating community, I'm. I'm one to connect with women this week. So I'm going to a speed dating event and I'm really going through the material. I'm really trying to prepare myself mentally and like, really get into the zone of what you were saying. Like, try you to be the chooser instead of being like, oh, are they gonna like me? But just go there with having fun. So that's one of my goals for this week.

I love it. When is the event?

It's going to be on Wednesday.

On Wednesday. Okay. Amazing. I love it. That is. That's super exciting. Absolutely. Fill out Wednesday's sheet like that, that daily. This one, the daily sheet. If you're going to fill it out any day this week, commit to Wednesday. Okay. Yeah. Exactly how this works. And you'll get a really good feel of how we can intentionally generate the feelings that you want. Okay. And so at whatever time that hits for you, maybe it's like 6pm right? You. You would put that on this piece and then you would fill in. Speed dating event is the piece on this line. And then the event. One of the events that you want to focus on is that speed dating event. And then decide how it is that you want to feel.

Yeah.

Okay, pick one feeling. Okay. And if there's a bunch of them that you're like, I want to feel excited, I want to feel curious. I want to feel like, pick one. Because sometimes it's really hard for our brain to, like, stay focused if we're throwing out a bunch of different things. So pick one feeling. The overall feeling that you'd like to have for that event. Is it calm? Is it confident? Is it curious? Is it interested? Is it. Is it excited? Right. Really sit down with that. Decide how it is that you want to feel, and then what is the believable thought that would generate that feeling for you? And I can. One feeling, One feeling, one feeling and one thought. That's a really good point for this, you guys. One event, one feeling and one thought. Do not.

When you say, for example, believable thought, that means like, something that is kind of like that you can relate to that feeling or what is it like?

Like, so believable thought is an example of that is like how I said I went into my dates, the feeling that I wanted to generate was curiosity. So my believable thought that generated curiosity for me was, I wonder what I'll learn about this person tonight. Okay. And that, like, if I stayed focused on that thought, I stayed focused on, like, I wonder what I'm going to learn about this person tonight.

Yeah.

I generated, effortlessly generated a feeling of curiosity. And it was very easy for me to keep a touch point on that throughout the day or throughout, like, the beginning of the date where I would usually feel my most nervous. And when you're focusing like, it is. It is crazy when you decide how you want to feel and you put your focus towards that, there's usually not enough room for you to focus on the unwanted feelings, like the nervousness. And usually what, like, makes us. Makes the nervousness a problem is that it spirals. You start to feel nervous, and then your brain starts firing off all of these thoughts that make you feel more nervous. Oh, my God. Is he gonna like me? Is he gonna want to go out with me again? Am I gonna embarrass myself? Is he gonna tell how nervous I am? Right. Like, that's what would happen if I wasn't intentional about it. But when I decided I want to feel curious and I stayed very, very laser focused on, I wonder what I'm going to learn about this person tonight. I wonder what I'LL learn.

Okay.

It was like magic where how different of an experience I would have so.

That, that the purpose of this question or this feeling is that you have that in your head. And that way you don't have space to, to be nervous or to feel.

Yeah, yeah. It's so that you don't have space to like ruminate on the unwanted feelings. It's okay if you, if the unwanted feelings show up. And this is, this is something that the more you get coaching, like, this is something that we can like really dissect in coaching, but the more you get coaching, you'll learn how to start generating these believable thoughts and feelings for yourself. Okay, but. And it's okay if unwanted feelings show up first. Like, it wasn't that I never felt nervous. I usually would feel nervous for a second. Like as I was getting ready for, for the date. I usually was like feeling pretty jittery and feeling pretty nervous. But then when I grounded myself back to I want to feel curious. How I want to feel is curious. And the believable thought that generates curiosity for me is, I wonder what I'm going to learn about him. The nervousness would subside and it would actually happen pretty quickly.

I really like that because I'm definitely an overthinker if I'm headed to an event, you know, like, if it's a, like a family event, you know, you're like, oh God, I'm gonna get in a fight with this person about politics or no, I don't want to see this person. You just focus on what you can control, which is your emotions, and you stop. Like in Andre's example, you know, your end game would be like, I want to walk away with a phone number or a date or something like that. But instead of focusing on the long term stuff that you can't control, you just focus on like your energy going in. And in the long run that helps.

That helps.

Just focus on the thing you can control and like. Yeah, it helps further your goals. Yeah, I guess in a sense, kind of.

Yes, exactly. Exactly. Yes. It's focusing on what's within your control. That's exact. Yeah. It's a great era because that is where we start to like spiral out is when things feel out of our control, that's when our, our fear based brain, like clicks on. Okay. And so give yourself back the control that you do have. Put yourself back in the driver's seat. It's okay to feel the nervousness. It's okay that unwanted feelings come up, but you do have control over how you think and feel and how you show up. We can't control whether or not girls are going to be interested in you or whether or not they're going to give you their phone number or whether or not this is going to go. This event is going to go off without a hitch. Right. Like, those things are outside of our control. And a lot of things in dating especially are because we're in. We're involving a whole other person that we have zero control over. Right. There are other things in your life, like health and wellness goals and things like that, or like career goals, where usually, like, the efforts you put in are the results that you're going to get back. But with when you involve another person, that's not the truth. Like, that is not the same scenario. Right. We can't control other people. And so if you want to enjoy the process of dating, this is how you do it. You control what's within your control, and we let go of the rest.

I feel like when. If I have, like, this feeling of, like, anxiety or nervousness, it kind of like takes away my ability to really. To enjoy the event or to feel comfortable as well.

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. It completely defeats the purpose of you going to this event in the first place. I'm assuming you want to enjoy it. But it's so easy. Yeah. Yeah. But it's so easy to get caught up in the anxiety or the nervousness and. And for it to completely be ruined. I have girlfriends that refuse to go on dates because of how much anxiety they have about meeting somebody for the first time. And I'm like, wow. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm sitting there with all of my life coaching tools, and I'm like, girl, listen to me, listen to me. You don't have to do it this way. You don't have to feel this way. Like, you can actually go out on these dates and enjoy them if you decide that's what you want to do. Right. But this is the work. It's not like it's not toxic positivity. It's not manifesting. The problem I have with manifesting. Not that it doesn't work. If you don't believe what it is that you're trying to manifest, it doesn't work. Right. Like, if you don't believe the positive thoughts that you're telling yourself every day, they usually fizzle out. Right. So we have to find believable thoughts you can manifest with believable thoughts, and that's how you start getting the results. It's not magic, that these things start working out for you in your life. It's because you're actually deciding how it is that you want to think and feel, which is creating much better results for you. You're enjoying the dating events. You're showing up to them more confident. You're being more outgoing. Right. It wasn't because you sat there in the mirror for 20 minutes before the event and said, I'm going to do this. I can do this. This is going to be great. And then you get to the event and you didn't believe any of those things, so it all fell through the window. Right. Like, they have to be believable thoughts. I need to, like, underscore that they need to be believable or it won't work. Okay. Yeah. Fantastic. Okay, Brent, you've got a question.

I was just going to say, like, a lot of times we don't check our thoughts. And I found that just, you know, just having a different perspective or even talking to people really helps. Because even if you don't accept that thought in the beginning, at least you have it in the background so that you. You give yourself time to kind of implement it into your life. So, you know. Yeah. So it is helpful to just challenge your thoughts so that you can just have. Yeah. Just something to fall back on in the future.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you guys, I've got to go because I've got to go pick some people up from the airport. I hope you have a wonderful start to your week. Please keep me updated. Evan, I'm going to message you once I get to my parents place after picking them up, because I know I have a message from you. But just wanted to let you guys know that. Have a wonderful day. Keep me updated as things come out throughout the week, and we will go from there.

Okay, thank you.

All right, bye, you guys.