Positive Talk with Kevin McDonald and Seth Spears

Welcome to Positive Talk with Kevin McDonald. Hey, that's me! Hi, and welcome to Positive Talk. Our show features the best positive stories and people from around the globe as we endeavor to answer the universal question of, why am I here and what is my purpose? Understanding that can change everything, and knowing your greatness is fundamental to living your best life. So join us right now as together we work to create the adventure of our lifetime. Boy, oh diggity dog boy, Boy, what we've got. I don't know where I come up with stuff like that. It must be from my past, Rochelle, someplace. How are you, my dear? And take yourself off of mute.

There we go. I was saying that you are a professional. Yes, but I'm doing very good. I'm excited for this episode. We are welcoming Seth Spears, who is an entrepreneur, investor, adventurer, world traveler, outdoorsman, and so much more. So let's bring him to the stage. And hello, Seth. How are you?

Hi guys, thanks for having me. I'm great.

And he's got a podcast too, I understand.

Is that true? I do. It's been on hiatus for about a year, uh, but, uh, there's almost 50 published episodes, uh, primarily in the outdoor space, talking to experts in their respective fields and kind of the outdoor world, uh, bring them on to tell kind of their craziest, wildest adventure stories and really just encourage people to get outside and spend more time in the great outdoors.

You know, I know a person who just the other day took a photo which is really— I don't suppose there's any way that we could share that photo, is there, Rochelle?

I think I could make it work if you'd like me to.

I would, because it is an outdoorsy thing, uh, by where she lives in, in Salt Lake City, and, uh, and her Photo taking skills are really, really good. And so while she's while she's putting that together again, we're talking with Chef Spears. If you want to follow along, you can go to chefsethspears.com, and that's s e t h s p e a r s dot com, and you can find out all about him. He's got a bunch of companies. He does financial stuff. He does he does wellness stuff and. And we're going to talk about all of that. And also, I'm just going to let you and Rochelle talk about the great outdoors because I haven't— it's been a while since I've been out in the great outdoors a lot and stuff. So, but Seth, welcome. And you do so much. Does anybody ever tell you, why do you do so much?

I've gotten that question a few times. I don't feel like I do, though. I feel like I've done a lot of different things over my career. I have a lot of varied interests. I'm intrinsically curious, and I'm a lifelong learner. I'm a voracious reader, and I just enjoy learning new things and experiencing new things and just whatever piques my interest.

Where did that come from, do you think?

Oh, that's a great question. So I was actually homeschooled from kindergarten all the way through high school. So the first time I ever sat in a classroom was my freshman year of college.

Wow.

And, you know, there's pros and cons of being homeschooled, just like there's pros and cons of going to a public school or private school. One of the cons was that I was not around a lot of my peers as much, you know, the social aspect, as much as I wanted to. And so to compensate for that, I read a lot. I was a voracious reader. I read the entire encyclopedia cover to cover. Whenever I would read a book and I didn't know what the word was, my mom would say, well, go write it down. And then when you're done reading for the day, go look that word up or those words up in the dictionary to see what they mean. And so I think it was a combination of those things that really helped me to just pique my interest in a lot of different areas. And I was given the ability to read or learn about different subject matters that I was interested in, whether that was animals, whether that was nature, whether that was, you name it, bookmaking or wine growing or anything like that. And so that's just always stuck with me. I'm just intrinsically curious and I love to know what makes things tick, why things are the way they are, why the world is the way it is. Can we make it a better place? Can we do things differently? And so I just always thought outside of the box and just differently than a lot of other people, much to the chagrin of many, including my parents. So, you know, it's funny, be careful what you wish for. You try to do things differently and then if you get something different, well, guess what? That's what happens.

Well, and I want to point out that for those of you that are younger than, I don't know, 40, an encyclopedia used to be a book. And they had a series of books that, that had like A and B and C. And then you would go grab that book and you would go look at historical events and things that all started with a letter. Now you just Google everything. But in those days, that was, that was Great fun. And when I was in 7th and 8th grade, I went to a parochial school and they had 2 grades at the same— excuse me, they had 2 grades at the same time. So I was in the 7th and 8th grade. So the 7th— while the 7th graders were getting taught something, we would be on our own devices. So I would go get an encyclopedia, and that's where I learned a lot of the things that I know today is from that encyclopedia. I wish they still had them around.

Yeah, I read the encyclopedia quite a bit, and, you know, it was, it was fascinating because it was like the world's knowledge. This was kind of like around the same time when the Yellow Pages and White Pages were a thing, which, as I looked back on it, can you imagine that there was literally a book that was shipped to every single person's house that gave you the ability to stalk anyone? Isn't that wild?

Yeah, and, and the, the cool thing in Brachelle's case now, she has to use something different now because she's a little short and stature. But in the old days, she would take a phone book and sit on the phone book on a chair and stuff. But this— and because some of the phone books were really thick, uh, and now they don't even exist. And it's amazing how many things that I grew up with that are no longer there. Uh, as an example, Michelle does a lot of photography. Michelle— or Rochelle, have you ever heard of something called a photo mat?

Damn, I thought you were gonna say so many other words after you said photo, but because you said mat, I don't know. What you're talking about. No, I, I might maybe just not the title for it.

Well, a Fotomat was a, a little booth that was generally in the middle of a supermarket shopping center, and you would drop your film. Now, film is what they used to take pictures on.

Yeah, I know what that is. So when I was little, me and my grandma would go to Walmart, we'd buy the disposable cameras and click as many pictures as we could all the time. And then we would drop them off there and they would give us our film back. Is that the essence?

That is the total essence of it. So, but in any event, Seth, I, it's remarkable that when you become a reader and you start reading different things, it's amazing the things that you learn and are and stick with you.

A mind once expanded can never go back to its original size. Once you learn something, once you've heard information and you've processed it and kind of gone about it, you can't go back to who you were before. And I think that is one of the things with reading that we're losing today because everyone's on a device and they're not consuming the same information or information in the same manner. And I think that's a lost art and a lost skill, reading comprehension and just reading for the joy of it, but also to learn as well, which, I mean, I still read a lot. I consume a lot of different information, both Podcasts, audiobooks, physical books, some digital books as well, and video. But I still love a physical book. And my favorite genre is self-help, personal development, business. I love autobiographies and biographies as well. Just learning as much as I can that can help me grow and improve. I think that's what we're here to do.

I think, I think you're right. And Rochelle just put that quote you just said into the chat so that we can now make a bumper sticker out of it.

Cool. Yes.

And she is—

And then I've got the picture. Let me see if it works so that I can screen share that with us here. Kevin, we'll let you add that to the stage. Oh, there it is. So yesterday morning I went on a hike, probably about a mile and a half straight up, and when you get to the top of the ridge, there's this lake and it has native trout, um, in it that are brown trout, tiger trout, cutthroat. Um, you're not able to keep them, which is sad because they would taste really, really good. But I absolutely love doing this hike. You go up there and everything kind of just stops. And I love that you understand that, Seth, about—

Yeah.

You know, connecting to what is around you that's also living, that brings you a sense of— I mean, you could probably give me quite a few examples of different emotions you felt at different times being in nature, whether that was with someone or without yourself, right?

Oh, very much so. Um, I'm curious about like the hike that you went on and the lake. I mean, that's gorgeous, and there's so many different types of trout there, but it's all catch and release?

Yes, unfortunately that place is catch and release, and I will follow the rules because I don't want to lose my fishing license. Um, but there's usually not so much of a hike to get to a lake, so that one makes it rewarding.

That's always wild to me when something is just catch and release, because stats that I've read are that 30% of everything that's caught and then released, typically they end up dying. So it seems like such a waste of just, just, we're gonna catch it just for sport and then throw it back. So it seems like if you're gonna fish, catch it and eat it.

You know, and that brings me to another thought, is we kind of do that to ourselves. We'll do, oh well, I'm a catch and release, and we'll, we'll go through all this trauma we're not used to just because we think we're like, oh yeah, I'm totally gonna do that without prepping for it first. These fish are not used to coming out of the water. Um, and it's that same feeling of like, if you are willing to pull yourself out of the water and do something you've never done before, how are you going to guide yourself so you, you don't end up thrown back into the water in the same position you came from and not know how to really get past that? I don't know why that came through, but that's kind of smart.

That's a really good question. Yeah, I, I think, you know, my life, I have kind of been self-taught in everything that I've done.

Yeah.

I have a degree in marketing, which is kind of worthless. You know, I started a marketing firm years ago. Nothing that I learned in it was really beneficial in that manner. But pretty much everything that I've done, whether that's sports or learning how to code or starting a business, I had to just fly by the seat of my pants and learn how to do it as I went. I've always wished that I had mentors or teachers or guides that could help in that because I think it would have expedited the process, made it a little bit easier, a little more seamless. But I don't know if I've just done that because that's how I'm wired, or it's just the, just the way life has kind of come at me, and that's just the path that I've taken. But that is a very interesting idea of when we do something that we've never done before, uh, having a guide or someone that can help us, uh, could be very beneficial.

Well, now that you bring this up— sorry, Kevin, go ahead.

No, no, go ahead, go ahead.

Now that you bring this up, that's just It makes my mind so curious because this morning me and Kevin were having a conversation about a quote that I saw and it says, give me 2.5 seconds. I got it right here. I promise. It says, stop trying to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass. And I told Kevin, well, I wish I would have heard that so many years ago. I wish I would have had the help along the way. These are this and this and that. The problem is, is that's probably not the way I would have actually learned to get through it. And so now I see that maybe some people have to learn completely strictly in their own lane on their own, whether it's diving deep or jumping to the sky, and then having help later on to be able to not only reflect at what you're looking back at, but where you're at now and how you can move forward. Um, because I, I wouldn't have understood that quote if I would have seen it before now. It probably would have made me mad, you know. Well, the storm never passes and So I'm just stuck and my life sucks. But because I had to get through that on my own, and now looking back with the help I do, it's like, oh wow, now that is so powerful within me that I've learned that lesson as I needed to and can now pass it along. And I love that you're working to do that every single day with yourself and other people.

And, and I— that's beautiful, Michelle, by the way. And, but I have to ask you, Seth, I know that you are being an entrepreneur, having multiple companies and doing all the work that you do and all the things that you do. There's somebody out there that is thinking about doing that, but there's this thing called failure that they're scared about. And I just want you to— of course, you being doing all the things that you've done, you've never failed at anything in your life, right?

Yeah, if only that was the case. I mean, I, I feel like— I, I think it needs a reframe though. Yeah, everybody fails. I fail every day, but it's not Failing, it's learning how not to do something. It's learning you're closer to what you're trying to get at. You know, often we look at celebrities, we look at people that are successful and think that, oh, I could do that, or oh, it should be easy for me because it's easy for them. But most people have put in years and years in order to become successful. They failed more times than you can even imagine, and most people are probably not willing To have those kind of setbacks, to have those kind of failures. But here's the thing, that's not a bug in the system, that's a feature. If you want to be successful, if you want to accomplish your goals and dreams, you've got to go through the hard things to get there. You've got to prove your worth and sharpen your sword to get there. But I think so many people, they just are looking for the shortcut and they, they think that there's a way around that. But I don't think that's true. At least no one that I know that is successful and has held on to that success for any length of time has been able to figure out a shortcut to get past that.

Well, you know, and a lot of kids today— kids today, doggone it— but a lot of younger people, they have seen other people be successful, and they tend to look at it and go, well, I can do that, that's easy. And then they run into a roadblock, and then they have a real problem and then they quit. And in my— and I'm going to ask you this question for you to answer on the other side of this break. I believe fervently that the only way you can fail is if you quit. I'm going to have you think about that and we'll be right back. At 67 years young, I never thought I'd feel this good again. But thanks to Purium's Ultimate Transformation Lifestyle, To date, I've lost 37 pounds and gained energy, confidence, and a whole new outlook on life. This isn't a diet. Purium is a complete lifestyle change, giving me all the natural, organic, nutrition-packed superfoods that fuel my body, crush my cravings, and help me burn fat naturally without starving myself. No gimmicks, no guesswork, just a simple proven system that works. Superfood shakes, detox support, and real results. If I can do This at 67. Imagine what you can do. It's your time to feel better, look better, and live better with Purium. Let's do it now and let's do it together. Go to positivetalkradio.net and click on the Transform You to get started. That's positivetalkradio.net, Transform You. And welcome back to Positive Talk with Kevin McDonald and hosted by Brichelle. And our guest today is Seth— Seth Meyers. That's not right, Rochelle. I'm embarrassed now. Go ahead.

That was, that was totally worth it, Kevin. But we've got Seth Spears here today to, um, talk to us about anything and everything that can come in the way of you trying to do something and maybe failing at it. So Kevin, your question was My question was—

that was so long ago. No, but— oh crap, it left me.

I remember. Yeah, so Kevin's question was, is he believes that you truly only fail when you quit. How do you feel about that?

I tend to agree. I think that, yeah, it— to, to reach a goal, to hit something that you're striving for It's going to take a lot to get that typically. And if it doesn't take that much, it's probably not a worthwhile goal or objective. Thomas Edison, when asked what it was like inventing the light bulb, I mean, because it was said that he failed 10,000 times in creating it, and someone asked him about that. What was it like to fail 10,000 times before you actually got it right? He's like, I didn't fail 10,000 times. I figured out 10,000 ways that it wouldn't work. And that just got me closer to figuring out the way that would. And so if you can change that outlook and think, oh, I failed at this, to I figured out a way not to do it, then you're so much closer. And that makes all the difference. The best example that I can think of this is a baby learning to walk. If a baby first stands up and falls over and said, I failed, I can't do it, I'm done, nobody would ever walk because they have To fail, that's how they get strength. That's how they learn balance. That's how they learn their boundaries and what they can and cannot do. And they have to push through that in order to actually learn it. But there's no part of their brain that says, "I'm gonna stop. I'm gonna quit." You're just wired to do that. And so I think it's really unfortunate that as we get older, and probably because of our educational system that is graded on tests and like, "Oh, you got a question wrong. You failed," that it rewires. How we think about success and failure to look at it as this bad thing, as opposed to we're just learning.

And the excitement that you see on a baby's face that is taking its first steps is truly magical.

It really is.

Yeah. I have an example of something similar to this. I took my kids skiing about a month ago, and it had— my younger daughter, she's 11 now, and she hadn't skied in a couple of And so she didn't, she didn't want to do ski school. I encouraged her to, but she didn't want to. So I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna force you to. If you're gonna try to keep up, that's fine. So we got out there, she got her skis on, she immediately fell over. And I'm like, okay, Gabby, well, let's work on your balance. Let's work on just getting started. And she kind of had a freakout moment. She fell several times. She got out of her skis. She was a little out of control. She's like, I can't do this. I'm like, No, you can do it. You've done it before. I've seen you. You've just forgotten how. You have it in here. You just have to remember it. And so it's going to take a little bit of practice, a little while to build your confidence up and just to do it. And so several hours in, I mean, there was some tears, there's some anger, throwing of poles and, you know, the usual when it comes to kids. And, but then I could see the change. I could see the confidence building up until the end of the day. She was having a blast. She was keeping up with her older siblings. She was going down the blues, no problem. And she had overcome that adversity. And I think for so many of us, or, and kids as well, it just takes pushing through to build up that resilience muscle so that we can have that confidence to say, oh, I can do this. So if I can do that, I can do a lot of other things too.

Well, and you know, Bruxelles got a shining example of that if you'd like to share it, because she was a figure skater for 9 years. And of course, She started out the very first day, she could twirl and she could jump and do triples and all that kind of stuff, right, Rochelle?

Yeah, totally. I just got on the ice and then my body just did it. I didn't even have to think about it. No, you know, I really wish it was that way, but getting hurt so many times made me want to keep doing it because I know eventually that I think one of the stories that resonates with me the most is my favorite jump. I was getting up into my double jumps. I had recently dropped my coach. I was doing it all on my own and it was for me. And I had decided to switch around my program. And my favorite jump is my best jump. So it was kind of like my little show-off move. And I fell the night before the show. I'm talking like It's 9:30 at night. They're trying to get me off the ice because I will not quit doing this jump.

Mm-hmm.

Um, and I had pushed myself to a limit to where my body was like, you gotta give it a break. And, um, I'd like to know what you think about this too, Seth, when it comes to pushing yourself a little too hard and kind of knowing when to step back and like reevaluate what you— where you're at. Because there was a part of me that just went away and I wasn't running off of the right energies or the motivations. And I was just doing it out of anger and trying to prove myself.

Mm.

And I fell, I got hurt. Um, I still was able to do the wimpiest little program, um, the night— the next night, but I missed 2 of the morning shows and obviously was pretty much looking like I skated around in circles. And it had scared me away from doing that jump again, although it was my absolute favorite thing to do and made me feel the most powerful. And I've, I've kind of been trying to fight that recently because I can do all these other jumps and spins and stuff. And there's these things in my head that are like, okay, you're a little older now, you're a little more fragile. If you get hurt, the repercussions are going to be worse than just staying home from school. And, and, and I've kind of relived what that was like to push myself through it, um, and wondered, you know, if I had just gotten off the ice that night, what would have been different the next day? Um, so out of all the things that, yes, had this— I, I got hurt and I did this and I excelled at that and I slowly got better— that was the one thing where I never really saw the growth from because it's Stopped me out of pure fear of either getting hurt or continuously not being able to do it again.

Yeah, that's a good point. I think the body is really resilient, and often if we're doing it from the wrong headspace though— it sounds like that's what happened to you, where you just push yourself to such a limit and you were worn out and exhausted. And I think that's where having a good coach comes into play, because often they can see things that you can't as an outside third-party observer and say, hey, you're tired, Take a break. And I've experienced that myself in sports and athletic competitions where I'm just getting frustrated and annoyed. And it's like, I'm trying to do like a move over and over and I can't seem to get it. And I'm just like, I'm not stopping till I get it. And then, but often it's like, we got to listen to our body and say, hey, you're mentally exhausted. You're physically exhausted. Take a break. And then often it's when taking that break and then coming back to it, that's when it just clicks. But I think there's, There's two sides to this. One, it's trusting your body, trusting your intuition that you you know when to quit. But then there's also comes a point you have to train that muscle. So if you haven't trained it, then often there will be people that will quit too soon because like oh I'm listening to my body. Maybe that's the case, or you're just afraid to push through and you don't have the resilience needed. So I think there's a fine line there, and that can often be. where a coach or an advisor comes into play that as a third party can, can look and give you advice and say, hey, no, I think you need to push through and kind of force you to, or say, no, I think you need to take a step back and like, let's rest and then come back to it tomorrow.

Well, and I'm so glad. Thank you for saying that about listening to yourself. Um, because that's one of those moments where I could tell that other people were either so excited for me to do this, or they were like, she is going to push herself off the edge. And there was that voice inside. I mean, I'm only 14 years old, you know, so that's like a whirlwind of ideas to understand myself. And, um, but I, I knew my limit because I think back and it was just like I had that moment where it was just like, just stop, please just stop, everything will be fine. Like, get off the ice, let your body rest, you're gonna come back and you're gonna do it better than you ever have. And I was like, no. I fought myself and had to deal with the repercussion of that. Um, and I, I think that's a good thing to pay attention to even now, for me to remember when I get into those moments of, you know, because now I'm like, oh, we're stepping back. I'm, I'm good right now. But also not, you know, um, making it to where it's like, oh well, I put— I set my limit here and I'm going to keep myself safe rather than pushing through. So yeah, I, I love that because you need to listen to yourself ultimately. You have all the answers inside, just like you told your daughter.

I think self-trust is one of the most underrated lessons and skills that we need to learn and that we should be teaching children, both in school, at home, and everywhere. Learning to trust yourself, trusting your intuition, trusting that you're going to make good decisions, trusting that you can do the thing. Because often parents don't do that. We look at children in such a way as, oh, you're going to screw this up, or, oh, you can't do that, as As opposed to saying, hey, I trust you, make good decisions, listen to your body, listen to your intuition, and then if it doesn't feel right, back off. But often we just like force them to do things that they don't want to, or just try to overprotect them and helicopter them. And so the children never actually learned that self-trust. I didn't as a kid, and that's something that I've had to learn as an adult. And that's been a very— that's been a challenging process. The earlier we can learn that in life, the better.

Oh, I couldn't agree more. My, uh, when I was growing up, my, uh, dear mother, departed mother, had an idea that she didn't want to give me a big head. Now, I was a good athlete, and I played football and baseball and all that stuff. And but after a game, she would say, oh, you did great. And then, but, and then would come the but.

Hmm.

But you know, you could have done this better, or you missed that pitch, or you missed— and what I learned from that was I disregarded all the compliments because I figured that was obligatory. And I, I listened to the but— you didn't do this well. And that's, and that's how it, it invades your mind and makes you, makes you even think that way. It's like, you did that really well, But, and, and so it's the but part that, and if you're just tuning in, I'm talking about the not the, well, never mind. But you know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

I think that's a great point. And I've heard it said from therapists and others, psychologists, that anytime you give someone a compliment, and then if you follow it up with but, all the words that preceded but are forgotten. And so they're only hearing what comes after that. So I think that raises a really good point. Uh, one of the things that I've tried to do with my own children, whether that's in some of the athletic competitions or in school or just things that they're learning, I'll just say, hey, it looks like you try— you, you practice really hard. You really gave it a great effort, and I'm really proud of you for doing that. And are you open to some feedback on how you could improve even more or quicker? So it changes the dynamic. And just the phrasing of it enough. And then if they're not open to it, then I'm not gonna just force my ideas on them, even though, I mean, that's as a parent and as a coach, you know, we want to do that. We want them to grow and improve. So, but they've got to be open to hearing that feedback, whether that's positive or negative.

Well, and there are some parents, and this is kind of off topic, but there are some parents that are trying to live their life through their children's athletic endeavors. And when you do that and you're saying, oh, you can be better, and you start pushing your children, they're gonna— they— the love of the game leaves them a lot sooner because now there's all this pressure. Kids should not be subjected to all that pressure. Do you agree with that?

Totally agree. And I've definitely been guilty of doing that early on when I was a father with my oldest son. I really wanted him to play baseball, and he did. And he was kind of— he wasn't as gung-ho about it, uh, because, you know what, as a kid, all I wanted to do was just play sports. And like, I wanted my dad to play with me as well, and he didn't really want to. He worked a lot. Uh, he wanted me to help him with some of like his projects around the house or other things, which I hated doing, didn't want to. Um, but he was trying to force his ideas of fun or, um, spending time with me onto him. And so I said, when I'm, when I'm a father, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to do all the things that I enjoy doing with my kids. Well, guess what? I was repeating the same pattern that my dad did. I was forcing my interests and my will on my kids. So it was several years ago, I think like 4 years ago now, 5 years ago now, I did a plant medicine ceremony. And during it, I had this deep realization that I'm doing the exact same thing that my own dad did to me. But at the end of the day, yeah, I love playing sports. I would love my kids to play them with me. I just like, I want to play them with my dad. But at the end of the day, I just want them to be happy. I just want them to be fulfilled and do the things that they enjoy. So that realization made a big impact on me because I went forward and I stopped putting pressure on them to do the things that I'd like to do. And so I became more interested in the things that they enjoyed. And so that changed the dynamic of the relationship. And then in turn, they actually started wanting to play sports more. And so because I let go of that, I let go of the need and just like the pressure. And so it totally changed it. And it's funny how that happens sometimes.

That's, that really is how it works. By the way, we're talking not with Seth Meyers but with Seth Spears. And go to his website, sethspears.com. We need to take a, a real quick break, and when we come back, I'm going to throw the show to Rochelle and make her ask you some more because she's really doing a phenomenal job today. Thank you, and we'll be right back. You're listening to Brushwood Media Network. The best in syndicated talk, news, and entertainment shows.

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And welcome back to Positive Talk Radio with Kevin McDonald, myself, Rochelle, and we've got Seth Spears on today. I love this show because we're talking about how much of an impact we can have on not only ourselves at any given age, But on children as well. And so that leads me to my question to ask you, Seth, is if you had met somebody who was either a new parent or an older parent of any sort, and they said, I know I need to change my parenting styles with my kid because I can see how they are starting to reflect some of the things I did, or I don't want them to, what would you tell them?

I would tell them to read the book Conscious Parenting. Okay, really, really good book. Um, the name of the author is escaping me. I believe it's Dr. Shefalia. Her last name is escaping me, but it's called Conscious Parenting, and it's all about how you can be more conscious as a parent and not just going into default mode. I think often when we become parents, we think we're going to do things so differently from how our own parents did. But unless we're aware and conscious of what we're doing, we just fall into those old patterns and the old excuse. Well, my parents did it like this. I turned out okay. Yeah, maybe that's the case. And you're probably still dealing with a lot of the wounding and trauma and things that happened because of that, not intentionally. I think every parent, they do the very best that they can and their intention is good, but that doesn't mean that the way they go about implementing their own parenting styles, whether that's discipline or what have you, are correct or that it's in the best interest of the kid. So I think being more self-aware is really, really important.

Another thing I think of is how much they're always watching us. Kids are always watching you, how you handle a situation if you make a mistake, if you break something, if something doesn't go your way, um, and to keep your own composure maybe and try to handle it in the best way possible, not only for yourself but for the child watching you, um, because as we know, they take those things on and neither of us are really conscious in that moment. It just tends to happen.

Oh yeah.

But I, I do know that I'm, I'm guessing where you've probably seen with your kids is you've changed cycles in yourself. You see that the change in them has started to also flip a little bit. Is that correct?

Yeah, for sure. I think it's just being, becoming more self-aware and realizing how, how you respond to a situation that is going to come across and that's going to leave an imprint for kids that they're going to model later in life because the, the up and from newborn up until age 7, those are the most formative years. Everything, they're like a sponge. Everything that they see, they hear, they feel, that's soaking into their brain, into their body, into their nervous system. And that's going to come out later in life in some manner. So in those formative years, I think it's really important just to make them feel safe and loved and protected and set their nervous system at ease so that later on in life, they're going to be secure in who they are and not think that the world is out to get them or that, you know, it's a scary place. It's really unfortunate that most children aren't raised like that, but most people, we're just following the same patterns and trends that happened to us, and hurt people hurt people. And so it's only in learning and knowing that we can actually do better. So I think everyone would be really served to look at how we show up for our kids.

And the name of the book is The Conscious Parent, and Brachelle, the staff linguist, Because it's in the private chat, is going to tell us the name of the author.

Are you serious? Okay, this one's a little hard for me. Doctor, if you wrote this book, I'm so sorry. I'm sending all my love. Um, Dr. Shefali Tasbari, is that correct? I think it's Shefali Sabari.

Sabari.

Yep, Sabari. Yeah, the T is silent, but yes, I think that's So powerful as well because then you see how they react other ways in life, like as they grow up and then they look back and they're like, why'd you make me like that? And so they, they get to, to pass that on too. But I'm— I could only imagine how much that also goes into business because in a way of when you help people with entrepreneurship, they kind of have to re-parent themselves in order to become successful at what they're trying to achieve in a business, right?

Yeah. And often it's those things that, um, that were really hard as a kid that can become the greatest motivation or driver to be successful. You know, never thinking that we're good enough or having like a really crazy work ethic or just being obsessive about certain things because that's how we were raised. And that can serve us really well in other areas. You know, there's, um, There's no solutions, there's just trade-offs. So there's, uh, there's a yin and a yang to everything, a flip side. So just if we're good in one aspect of life, there's going to be a downside to that in some other area. And so we, we're constantly trying to round out our edges and to smooth things out. But some of those things that make us really good in one area make us not so good in others. As an Um, I've always been really good at optimizing, like finding, finding things that there's room for improvement. And that's really good in business, but not so good in relationships. So if you're constantly finding fault and looking at areas that someone else needs to improve, that doesn't come across so great. You know?

I imagine there are moments in time when that doesn't work out well at all, when in a personal relationship. No, especially a romantic one.

Exactly. But in business, it's a really, really good skill to have. If no one's looking at that side of how can we improve, how can we cut costs, how can we grow revenue, then the business is stagnating and it's not going to do well. So it's a really good skill to have on one side, but not so great on the other side.

Well, and why isn't it so great on the other side?

Well, in, in the nature of a romantic relationship, if you're always looking at what the other person can do better and there project and you're trying to fix them, most people, they resent that. They don't take that well. I mean, I think it could be a good thing depending on how it's presented. I mean, in my past, I haven't always presented it that well, so it's more like blaming or, or saying you should do this or you should do that, or why don't you do this, or why don't you do that, which no one likes. And so you can only deal with that so much before it's just It's too much and that causes the end of the relationship.

Yeah, maybe in the sense of what can be better but not pointing any fingers.

Exactly, because things can always improve.

Oh, I'm not quite sure how you're gonna pull that one off, Rochelle. Theoretically, if you— if someone was to, I don't know, dress a little differently, theoretically they might have a better— you know what I mean? It's like You're talking about me, aren't you? And because women are pretty smart, they know these things. Seth, I wanted to ask you, along those lines, I wanted to ask you about using your intuition, because I think that's big. That, that really is key to finding the best way to do things. How do you use your intuition in business and in personal life, uh, for the benefit of you and those around you?

That's a really good question and one that I'm constantly asking myself every day. I've gotten into meditation quite a bit over the past few years. And so getting out of my head and into my body and just being present with what is, and that includes like breathwork, um, and a lot of different somatic experiences such as like sauna and cold plunge and things as well. So all of those have really helped For me to just get in touch with my own internal world. And so I'll be having a conversation with someone, maybe it's someone on my team, uh, or something just feels off, or maybe with a colleague or something and a potential business deal or partnership or something. And it's just like, oh, this feels like it's in alignment. Let's, let's lean into this more. You know? So I think it's just paying attention to those subtle clues. We'll just get little pings. Here and there. And, you know, it's, it's those indescribable things that, that it's hard to explain, but it's like this internal knowing. And so that will often— anymore, it's how I try to make decisions because I've— most of my life I've been focused on using logic and using the, the, the, just my mental acuity to do that. But it really takes 3 things to make a decision: your head, your heart, and your gut. So how can we align all 3 of those to make sure that this is the right decision? Because have you guys ever experienced where you're looking at some, like a decision, all the pros and cons of something, whether that's a business or a trip or whatever, and on paper everything looks great, logically it makes sense, but then internally you're like, why does this just feel off? Like something just doesn't feel right, but everything looks good. The numbers make sense. It's, we should do this. But like, Can't figure it out. And so then you went with what the number said or what logically you said, but then something, it just went upside down or didn't work out. Like, I knew it, but he couldn't put— but you couldn't put your finger on what it was. It was just this internal knowing. And so I think really getting in touch with that, that's so important, both in business and relationships and as a parent and just everything in life.

Well, was there a situation that you had where you realized your intuition and how strongly it was all of a sudden there in your mind and in your body and in your heart, um, with something that you didn't listen to? And then you're like, oh, I understand that now. And you could able— you were able to like fix that?

Yeah, I think it's been a gradual process. It's just been little things. I don't think there's been any one massive thing where it's like, oh, that was the universe trying to teach me this lesson to listen in. Um, I think I'll say fortunately I haven't had anything like that because I think often it's— people typically don't change until the pain to remain the same is greater than the pain to change. And sometimes it takes something really big like that to really make a difference or to learn that lesson. And so I think I've been fortunate that I haven't had anything to that extent where it's like anything big or substantial to really kick me in the ass and say Make this change, Seth. So I think it's just been more like those subtle things, and I've, um, started to pick up on those.

Yeah, it is amazing, uh, because some of us have, you know, that little intuition voice. Some of us have a really itty-bitty teeny-weeny intuition voice, and some of us have a sledgehammer going off in there.

I, you know, do you guys remember, um, what was the Disney movie Pinocchio with Jiminy Cricket, who was like this conscience.

I've never seen the original Pinocchio, actually.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Watch that. Yeah. And I think it's probably unfortunate that we think of it as like a little cricket sitting on our shoulder that's kind of bad because it's, it's more subtle for most people. Some people it's a little more like a sledgehammer hitting them over the head. But I think for the vast majority, it's just a subtle little, little knowing. Maybe it's a voice, maybe it's not. And probably the reason it's so subtle is just because we haven't trained it.

Yep. Well, and the, and the other thing that I want to point out is that when you have a mission and you have a passion and you identify that in words and deeds and thoughts, suddenly things fall into place. I don't know if this has happened to you. It's happened to me where things just show up. Now, your job at that point is to say yes to what shows up and to trust that what is being presented to you is what it really is. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't work as well. But when you are— when you're trusting that things are going to happen to you and— or happen for you rather than to you, I should say— that magical things can just appear for you. And if you listen to it and you trust it and you say yes to the universe and yes to life, at least that's what I believe. Do I need to be on medication?

No, I think that's straight up accurate. And I love the reframe that you had there, that everything is happening for you and not to you. I was just having a conversation with a friend earlier today who had her laptop stolen while at work. And she's like, oh, why is this happening? And just when things are starting to go good and like now this, and like, I don't have the money to get a new one. And it's like, wait, let's take a step back. There's probably a lesson in here. So yes, this happened, but you were not just those experiences or those things. How can you reframe it? Where's the positivity in it? And how did this happen for you and not just to you? And maybe it's not something you can see right now, but in a week, a month, a year down the road, I'm sure there's going to be something and you're going to look back on it and this is going to be no big deal. It's only in the present when we think that everything is like, oh, the worst possible thing. But then it's later when we have time to step back and reflect and we realize That was a great life lesson, and I'm actually glad that it happened.

And maybe, just maybe, the new laptop she has to go out and buy gives her added ability at work and at home to be able to do things that are a lot more complicated that the old piece of whatever didn't make it through. And so it's amazing how life works if you notice it. When we come back, I want to talk more about, because you have done so many things. You're an outdoorsman, you're a, you're a conservationist, you're doing all of these things. And so I'm getting the impression that you are noticing life. I want to talk about that when we come back. Last week, Brandon met a girl on a dating app. One day after work, he finally found the courage to ask her out. No answer. He Brandon started to panic. Was he being too pushy? Maybe it was too—

Hey, sorry I didn't respond. I was driving. I would love to go on a date. How does tonight sound?

Brandon tried to play it cool, but inside he knew a girl so smart, so responsible, she must be a keeper. And welcome back to Positive Talk with Priscilla and Kevin McDonald. That's me, by the way.

Chef.

Chef. Golly, Rochelle, who the hell's on the show today?

I mean, he might be a chef. We don't know that. But we've got Seth Spears, and we are— what were you wanting to talk about deeper that you mentioned before we left?

You had to ask, didn't you? I wanted to ask you if— I was so busy doing this other stuff. Seth, do you remember what I was going to ask you?

It's actually escaped me too.

You guys are horrible. Well, I would love to ask a question because we talk a lot about how important, how important and powerful going in nature can be. Um, why is that so helpful for you?

So for me, we are nature. You know, I think most people in this modern age, we see it as us versus nature, but we are as much a part of nature as the bugs, The plants, the trees, like animals, everything are. And so we, we have done more harm to our planet and to our natural world, um, over the past 100, 200 years than throughout history. And so if we don't take care of it, if we don't understand it, we won't take care of it or protect it. So I think getting back into nature, into the wilderness, whether that's a camping trip, Whether that's going hunting, going for a hike and fishing, all of those things just help us to reconnect. Our brains were originally designed as a sponge, but because of modern technology and our phones and everything else, they've had to become a filter. So, we're constantly filtering out all this, all the impetus, all the pings to us every single day, all these things that are constantly vying for our attention. And so, it takes It's extended time spent away from electronics, away from electricity, in the backcountry, in the wilderness, sleeping under the stars where we can totally reset our circadian rhythm and our entire nervous system and turn our brain back into a sponge again. And so, if you spent any time deep in the backcountry for 2, 3, 4 nights and then you come back, everything can kind of seem like information overload. Where it's just like, whoa, what's going on? Technology everywhere, Wi-Fi, noise, things. And you're just like, what is going on? Or the same if you've ever gone on a retreat where you've had your phone off for that time. And I think we don't do enough of that. We live in a microwave society where we want everything right now, and it's just all about convenience and how bougie can we be. But, you know, we are— we're one natural disaster away from complete anarchy because we're so detached from how our ancestors lived, being in nature, harvesting our own food or our own animals and growing our own crops and things like that. We think the food comes from a grocery store, but no, where does the grocery store get it? And so, I just love just being in touch and understanding where all these things came from. And, I think that's really, really important.

So, food comes from someplace else than a grocery store?

So they say. So, I found.

I was— when I got into the restaurant business, the first time that I knew that meat didn't come in cellophane. Well, in the grocery stores, in the meat department, they take and they put it on, on, onto Styrofoam, and then they put cellophane over the top of it. I thought that's how it came.

No.

And with all the forever chemicals and plastics and everything that are coming about and how much they're in our entire ecosystem, Putting them in plastic and Styrofoam and everything else, all these petroleum-based products, is so bad for our overall health and well-being.

You know, Seth, and I know this to be true and people don't believe it, but when you look at the plants that are around us and the air and everything, there is jet fuel in just about everything Because the jets could fly in the air and they admitted the fumes, and then the fumes float up there, and then it rains, and then they come down here, and then they get into the groundwater, and they get into the, into the grass and into the plants and into all of those things. By the way, I wanted to ask you a question before we run out of time because somebody's asking me to ask you this. What was your A plant, um, or you, you're, you, you made a reference to a plant meditation or a plant. Yeah.

Plant medicine. Yeah. That, that I've done quite a bit over the years, but that particular one was psilocybin mushrooms.

Oh, very good. Very good. Now you haven't done the one that makes you throw up for 12 hours before you have hallucinations, which—

Ayahuasca.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah.

I haven't, I haven't done that one yet.

Because by the way, if I threw up for 12 hours, I'd have hallucinations without anything.

Sure. Yeah, I mean, you know, plant medicine affects everyone differently, and depending on what the substance is and how your body chemistry reacts to it, and also what you're working through. So I have some friends that have done ayahuasca and they've had a beautiful experience, didn't throw up at all. Others, they threw up the entire time. We're all just wired differently. Our biology is different, our genetics are different, our life experiences are different. And so these, these substances, these plants and medicines and and things like that, they're gonna affect us differently as well.

You know, and maybe you know this and I don't, because I just sent Rochelle something that I heard about, which is guava leaf tea. Have you heard of that?

I'm not familiar with it.

It is supposed to be a new, a new natural miracle thing, and I'm checking into it to see if that is actually true, but it's supposed to lower your blood pressure and cure diabetes and And stuff like that. And, and by the way, make you rich and fly to the moon with North. So I don't know.

That's the point I think we bring up with a lot of things is, is the expectation. I love that you brought that up, Seth, that depending on who you are, your experience is going to be different. Because I think a lot of times we have an expectation we set off of someone else's experience that we've heard, and it either frightens us away from it or it makes us really excited for something that tends to maybe let us down. And so pushing through that is, I mean, both sides of it are pretty hard to come through. I'm pretty sure that you've experienced with different people you've worked through.

Yeah, very true. I think expectation, uh, can often be the cause of all of our, a lot of our issues. You know, it can be the thief of joy when we're setting an expectation on something. And I've experienced that myself. So a good example, when I was in college and I partied a lot, like most of us did.

But I don't know what you're talking about.

Of course, you know, there would be, there would be a party that was coming up, like a house party or fraternity party or something. And they set an expectation of, oh, this is going to be the big one. It's going to, we're going to just rage. It's going to be so much fun. And then it'd be a letdown. And it was, it didn't meet the expectations that we had set because there was so much buildup to it. But then often it would be the random nights where me and my roommate would end up going to a bar that would turn into this crazy debacle, like the stories that we still tell to this day. There was no expectation. It was just being open to the synchronicities of the universe and what happens, as opposed to putting pressure on something, saying it has to be this way, we got to make this—

make—

do this to, to meet those expectations that were often let down.

And by the way, go to sethspears.com. There's a section in there called Wellness, and it's got an extra S. I want you to tell us about that company that you're running and creating around natural products before we go. We've just got a couple of minutes. Sure.

Great. Yeah.

So Wellness is a B Corp certified brand of all natural personal care products that I started, uh, just over 5 years ago now. So we primarily focus on oral care. So we avoid all the toxic chemicals that most of the other conventional companies have. So like for our toothpaste, we don't use fluoride or sodium lauryl sulfate or glycerin, all the things that most others do. You don't need a poison control label on ours. We use an ingredient called hydroxyapatite, which is a naturally occurring mineral that your teeth and bones are made of. So it helps to repair and remineralize cavities and soft spots that might be in your teeth. And so we've got hundreds of testimonials from customers that have whose teeth are now whiter and healthier and have less cavities for using our toothpaste. So it's been a fun project that I really enjoyed working on over the years. And we are really into sustainability and use compostable packaging and are trying to do good for people and planet.

So we've got— doggone it, we're gonna run out of time again, Seth, because I really wanna talk about the new catchphrase, which is drill, baby, drill. And we're not going to have time to talk about that, but good Lord, what a horrible, horrible thing to put in people's minds. So we've just got like 30 seconds. So tell our audience anything that you would like them to know.

Well, I've done a lot of different things over the years. I'm an intrinsically curious person that constantly looks at how I can make the world a better And my motto is quality over quantity and try to do the right things long enough consistently. So you can learn more about me and what I'm up to in the world at sethspears.com, on Instagram @SpearsMarketing, and Twitter or X @SpearsMarketing as well.

I want to thank you so much for being here, Vishal. Hasn't he been wonderful? Thanks for listening to this episode of Positive Talk with Kevin McDonald. Our purpose is to provide everyone with a positive, entertaining, and educational experience. I would love your feedback and comments about the show, including possible topics and great guest suggestions. Please email me at kevin@kmmedia.pro. And remember, be kind to one another because each other's all we've got. Travel is part of the American way of life.

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