Episode 1 - She's Honestly Mental Bali

This is day three, Bali, and I'm really excited because the shit that's coming at the moment, like, to me, mentally barking out. I really found the, like, brain space and the capacity to be able to really have all of the She's Honestly Mental stuff, like, land instead of trying to, like, force instead of trying to force it and listen to the noise of all of the other people that coaches and make money off of this stuff. That's not what She's Honestly Mental is. For me, She's Honestly Mental is just a way to be able to help women get support that they need and normalize this mental health. So, so sick of people not being able to get the support that they need and people struggling and people thinking that they're not normal and that what they're going through is it's just them on their own. So, anyway, I love Bali so much. Okay, let's do today. I'm really excited because I am sending out an email to the og.

Welcome to She's Honestly Mental, the podcast for women who are done pretending they're fine when they're falling apart inside. I'm your host, Karina Rawlinson, ADHD brain, medicated, mind and proud Mental Health Hospital alumni. Still here, still showing up somehow. This is a space for the feelers, the fixers, the ones who carry it all and still feel like they're not doing enough. We talk about the chaos, the connection and everything in between because silence nearly killed me. And these conversations save lives. Alright, coffee in hand, headphones on, Chaos, semi contained. Let's get Honestly mental. Hey, I'm Karina, ADHD brain, eldest daughter, Vibes, three time Mental Health Hospital guest and the voice behind She's Honestly Mental. This podcast wasn't born in a strategy meeting or a branding workshop. It started with a letter I never meant to share, A goodbye that turned into a lifeline. And when someone whispered back me too, I realised I wasn't the only one. And maybe you're not either. She's Honestly Mental is for the woman who's holding it all together while quietly falling apart. For the one whose brain won't quit, whose smiles feel like a lie, who's tired of being told, just stay positive. It's for the ones who've sat in the silence thinking they're the only mess in the room. Here we talk. Meds, meltdowns, motherhood, ADHD spirals, healing that doesn't look like a highlight reel. And all the brutally honest bits in between. Whether you're deep in the chaos or clawing your way out of it. This is your soft place to land. I'm not a psychologist, I'm not an expert. I'm just a woman who's lived it, who still lives it. And through this podcast, you'll get raw conversations, solo episodes, occasional guests, and zero bullshit. Just the truth. Unfiltered, unpolished and honestly mental. So hit follow, subscribe, whatever button keeps us connected and come find me on Instagram at Hey its Karina. Because if your brain's loud and your heart is tired, you're in the right place. This space is for those that are wanting less pretending and more honesty because same. So let's do this together. Thanks for hanging out with me on She's Honestly Mental. If today's episode hits something real for you, come say hi over on Instagram at heyitskarina or share it with someone who needs to hear that they're not alone. And if you haven't already, hit the follow button so the next episode lands right where it should in your messy, beautiful feed. Until next time, take care of your heart and mind. You're not broken, you're just honestly mental.

All the best people are.

And I am so glad that you're here.

Good morning, Holly. Fucking shitballs. Why are people calling me? Honestly, why are people calling me this morning? Oh, it's not even for me for work. I am so excited because I am heading to the hairdressers this morning to go and get a wash and a blow dry. And then this afternoon at one o' clock I'm going to go and record the first episodes of She's Honestly Mental. So I'm gonna re record the intro, outro and intro outro and trailer. Oh my God, Cass is here. Anyway, I'm excited. I. I'm a bit nervous because I don't really know what the fuck. I don't really know what the fuck these first three episodes are going to be about. I feel like they're probably going to start with the purpose of She's Honestly Mental and what I'm really wanting and what I'm trying to achieve. My big scary fucking audacious goal. The one that scares the fuck out of me. But then also I really feel like it's probably going to be me telling my story and, and kind of like what qualifies me to be someone within this space. And I really feel like that's someone with the lived experience around mental health, someone that's experienced being in the system, someone that's been to the hospitals and all the rest of it that just really understands it and gets it, but from probably a really fortunate place where I've been able to afford that and been able to have the capacity to have people advocate for me when I couldn't advocate for myself. People that could hold space for me when I couldn't hold space for myself.

So.

Yeah, I don't want to change that. I want people who feel like they're alone, that they've got someone or something that can actually help them and hold them and do that in the most safe, special way possible. I feel like this for me is like, you know, saving lives because that's what people really deserve. And a friend said to me the other day, we were chatting about all the things and the purpose and hooks on how I could sell. She's honestly mental. And we were. She's like thinking about death, like thinking about suicide and being in that stage where it's just so close, like that's near death, you know, like, sure it's not a car accident and all the rest of it, but like when you're so close, like when you're thinking about all of the ways that you can commit suicide, like, man, you were in the depths, you are in the depths and it takes a while to get back from that. So, I mean, I'm five years after my first admission and that's, you know, fight. Prior to that five years, it was 18 months of not wanting to be here and really thinking about it. And yeah, I suppose the thing that really stopped me was I didn't want my kids to find me. So that's probably going to be the core of the podcast. Anyway, let's go get my hair done. Just heading out of the villa now to go jump on a scooter to go record my podcast. This is just wild. I don't even know like, who this, who this girl, who this girl that, like, stays in Bali and villa and records a podcast. Anyway, it's okay. I have just finished wrapping up the intro outro trailer, episode 1, 2 and 3 of the podcast in this fucking sick studio. If you'd asked me yesterday morning if I would be doing this, I would have said fuck no. I feel like the episodes are a.

Little bit scrambled, but who cares? That's what we are with.

She's honestly mental. But yeah, like I say, I want to be recording this of how things are going, but yeah, fuck, man. My name's Karina and I'm like on screen.

How cool is that?

Woo.

So.

I've woken up this morning with a message from Jared saying that Ruben has been vomiting and he's got a temperature. So. Fucking Mum. Guilt is so strong this morning. And I just fucking. I feel like absolute shit. I just feel like I'm judging myself a lot. I'm like, oh, Mum's over in Bali, like. And I suppose it's not me. It's mutual or everyone else's judgments that I feel like they're doing, because they're the kind of judgments that I would have done of myself. So it's like Mom's every. In Valley, like, having fun, and Dad's.

At home and the kids are sick.

Me, me, me, me, me. Like, me. Why do us women. Why do we do this to ourselves? It's like, if Jared was at home with the kids, like, if Jared. If I was home and I had the kids, which we've got done so many times, like, it would be my problem. But then when I'm away and I am actually fucking working, like, it's just that fucking guilt. The fucking guilt. And I'm just. Anyway, anywho, Fun times. I'm gonna do my morning pages. I haven't done my morning pages in a little while, so let's get that shit done. Also, houses. Yeah.