Shelley Young (presenter) argues that women in sales should stop adopting exclusively 'masculine' sales techniques and instead lead with feminine energy and emotional intelligence (EQ). Key recommendations: maintain warm authority (not cold or overly bubbly), listen to understand rather than to diagnose, uplift prospects instead of making them feel bad, balance feminine and masculine energies, and acknowledge — don’t steamroll — prospect nerves. The video closes with a call-to-action offering a women-only high-ticket sales mentorship.
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Hi guys, welcome back to my channel and if you're new here, hi, my name is Shelly. In this video today I want to discuss why you should stop selling like a man. Now first things first, this is not a video bashing men by any means. You can learn a lot from male sales trainers. My first mentor was also a man. So I have learned a lot from the way men sell. But now I feel more experienced and more competent in sales. Looking back, I didn't always sell like a man. I did at the beginning and sometimes it works, sometimes it didn't. But as my confidence has grown, I've really adapted my selling style utilizing my feminine energy and my eq. And as women, I see it far too often that women really get into their masculine energy in sales because it is a very male dominated space space and they end up selling like men and that doesn't always work and they end up losing deals or not making the desired income that they actually want because of that. So today I wanted discuss a few reasons why I believe you should stop selling like a man and how to actually sell instead if you are a woman in sales. So let's get into it. The first point I want to discuss is you do not need to be cold or not show emotion to gain authority in a sales call. Now a disclaimer and a preface to this is you also don't want to be too bubbly and really, really happy, high energy because you're going to be viewed as like a little girl. You want to find the perfect balance between being kind of being warm, inviting, smiley, complimentary, while actually keeping authority. Because having those traits is going to make people like you. And if they like you, they trust you. And if they trust you, they buy from you. So that is super important. I've trained a few of my girls both in my program and when I was managing to not enter the call too cold. If you show up and you're super stern, it can come across as. Now guys don't get that when guys come across super stern, they just come across as masculine. But when girls come across too stern, it comes across as a bit bitchy. And you don't want to be like that. You want to be kind, welcoming, inviting. That will immediately get the prospect to drop their guard and to feel comfortable opening up in the sales call. The next one is you want to listen to understand as a woman. Not listen to diagnose. Naturally, men are problem solvers in their masculine. Men listen to diagnose to problem solve whereas women naturally listen to nurture Listen to care, listen to understand. You want to be really careful in your sales call that you're not listening to diagnose. And even if you're a guy watching this, I, I would highly recommend taking on this feedback. When I have trained men in the past when I was managing, I really focused on them listening to understand and that massively helped them increase their skill set as well. So this can be men or women. Honestly a lot of these tips can as well. But as a woman in sales that's super important. We really want to want to use our EQ with this. So if you think about it, most people, if not all of us, want to feel seen and want to feel heard. But when you think about how many people actually feel seen and heard in a daily, whether they have problems that they don't have any close friends or close family or close loved ones to share, that's actually quite a a big problem universally where men, particularly from like news articles I've seen and kind of different podcasts, men apparently are in a. And I'm not a man myself, so I can't speak for men, but are in a position where they're at their loneliest. Like overall men and women in general the population, people stay inside, more social media takes over, people are less social, which means when people have problems, they usually keep them in. And they don't necessarily always have an outlet to share those problems and to feel seen and to feel heard. But you can make the prospect feel seen and heard. You can listen, you can make them feel comfortable, you can provide a safe space. You can give them that opportunity to fully open up and be themselves. So you can then guide them on the best path rather than telling them this is what you need to do to change. You want to try and create a very calm and non judgmental environment in your sales call as a woman to make someone feel better about opening up. And this is for men and women, but mostly men. I've, I've had a lot of success in sales when selling to men from really sitting back. It's not an ego battle. I'm not in my masculine energy fighting, trying to degrade a man, trying to make them feel like they're not masculine enough and they haven't achieved xyz. I've done that, I've tried that, selling like a man, selling like a man in the past and trust me, do not do that. That is the worst possible thing you can do as a woman in sales. You want to make sure you're never having an ego battle. You want to lift people up. Which leads on to my next point. You don't need to make someone feel bad about their current situation in order to get them to make a change. Or you need to lift them up to make them do better or to guide them to do better. Because a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion. Still, like, I always follow that quote in sales. Now, I'm not saying men do put people down in sales calls by any means, but as women, we can use our eq. It is our superpower to be able to listen, to be able to understand, to be able to read between the lines and uplift people, Give them compliments, give them confidence, make them understand. Understand that, yes, things may be scary and the journey ahead may be daunting, but that person is more than capable of taking that steps. However, you also want to find the right balance. Because women, you do need to be direct at times as well. You do need to have the masculine energy and the feminine energy. And from my experience, it's like a push and pull. It's finding that right balance because men and women have feminine and masculine energy, right? So to be a woman in sales and to be able to uplift, your prospect is finding that right balance of, okay, I understand you feel nervous. Everyone does. But, like, you could give an example of when was the last time you did something that made you feel super confident and you achieved it, even though you are super scared, you're uplifting them. And then that could be like one type of reframe. And then you can confront them and be like, but what happens if you don't make that change? Like, if you keep on. On that hamster wheel? And that's being direct and it's finding that perfect balance of making them realize they can do it, but also kind of letting them know, like, have you not been kicking the can down the road a bit too long? Like, isn't it time? Isn't that what you're here for, to make that change? And again, that leads really nicely onto my last point, which is do not push through the prospect's nerves. Acknowledge them. There's no point trying to just steamroll a prospect when you can tell they feel super uncomfortable. They don't feel great because you can't con or you can't trick someone into handing over their credit card and closing the deal. Acknowledge the nerves. Use your eq. Read between the lines. If someone's giving you tense body language, call them out. You can do that very sweetly and very calmly, like, is everything okay? I'm noticing you're a little bit off. Like let's take a step back a moment. What's coming up for you? Like full transparency, no judgment from me. Like what's coming up for you? Lean back, give that prospect the safe space. Don't try and be masculine energy, ego driven. Steamroll the prospect through because it's never going to work. Trust me. All these points below, I've been there, I've done it, I've made the mistake and it doesn't work. Moment that I just started acting in my feminine energy, using my eq, giving the prospect the safe space, uplifting them, complimenting them, but also being firm, leading them and, and being that leader that they need but also nurturing them and being that nurturing energy that they needed. That was when everything clicked for me. So with that being said, that's what comes honestly to top of mind when I talk about this topic and I'm so passionate about because this has absolutely changed the game for me in sales to be able to really lead with my feminine energy because for so long I wasn't doing that. So yeah, I hope that's helped. I'd love to know if you have any questions on that in the comments or if there's any other ways you're curious about of how you can lead with your feminine energy or if you're watching this and you're already in sales, if there's any tips for the rest of the audience on how they can to lead with their feminine energy and while balancing masculine energy in sales, I'd love to hear it. And as always guys, there'll be a link in my bio. If you're looking to get into high ticket sales and you're a woman, I do offer a female only mentorship to teach you how to start and scale in this industry. Bye guys.
