01: Want a change? Let’s make one

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos, an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up, let's go.

Hello and welcome to the very first episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. And oh my goodness, has this been something that I knew was in the works for a very long time and I resisted it, you know, especially as the wave of podcast trends have come in. You know, I've found this about myself. Whenever everybody's doing it, I definitely don't want to do it. I'm kind of one of those. And although I always knew it was in my future, probably about five, six years ago.

And I knew that I would actually pull the trigger when I, I believed that what I was going to bring to you was something that I knew could really impact your life. And so here we are today, doing this together. And you know, for those of you that have known me or followed me for any length of time, you know, some of you know my story, some of you don't. And for this first episode, I'm going to touch lightly on it. So those of you that don't know me will get a taste of who Tracy o' Malley and those of you that know me or followed me, you may hear some new things, but I definitely want to give you some nuggets today and why I felt this was important. You know, I also resisted doing this because I was like, this feels very self absorbed to do a podcast with my name on it. And anytime I get like that, I know I'm blocking a blessing for myself. I'm blocking it for you. And so whenever I feel like that come up and I do my own, like, gut check and take my own personal inventory and I realize that that's just fear talking, then I know I have to move forward and that's when shit gets real because I start to get scared. So to begin I want to take you back to where I knew my life was going to be used for something much bigger than myself. You know, I grew up in Chicago. You will hear my Chicago accent from time to time. It slips in there every once in a while. I've been living in Arizona now for, gosh, 25 years, which is crazy. More than half my life I've been a Zoni. But I'm still Chicago through and through. And you will hear that come into play. I get, I can go Chicago with my attitude and my accent. So I grew up in Chicago in the 80s. I was born in 1972, so I am pushing 50, y', all, which is crazy to me because I don't feel that at all. But I grew up in Chicago in a very passionate, in air quotes, Irish family. And my dad was very type A, his way or the highway kind of guy. Very intense man. And you know, knowing what I know now, like he was the oldest of seven. He never really got a chance to be a child himself. So that intensity.

Like loosening up wasn't just in his cards. It really wasn't. It wasn't in his makeup. And being the oldest child, I kind of took that on. I took it personal. I took it as my personal responsibility to keep the peace. And he was a super high functioning alcoholic. You know, I think us Irish, like, I know I was bred to drink and fight and I was very good at both for a very long time. And so was my dad. My dad was the king of that. And with that comes so much uncertainty and walking on eggshells. And, you know, you find yourself on guard, you handle it one of two ways. Either you completely check out like my sister did, or you are so hyper aware where you're pretty much bracing for impact 24 7. And that was my role in the family. And obviously when you feel out of control in your life, you begin to take on coping mechanisms not only to survive, but to get through and to maintain some kind of control. And I remember at the earliest of ages leaning into food and perfectionism from as early as of the age of 4 and 5. I remember that very vividly. And you know, when, when you are constantly on guard, you pretty much start second guessing everything. You become very skeptical. You don't trust easily. And so what that did for me was pretty much put me isolated, out of box. I could show up and be, be whatever I needed to be for whatever situation called for it, whether it was in school or in sports or whatever family. I could be whatever the situation called For. And so I very, very quickly realized I didn't even know who the hell I was most of the time. And I remember when I knew that my life was going to be used for something bigger. You know, growing up in a home that has alcohol, being abused and codependency, which is where my mom came into play at, you know, very high levels. You know, usually addicts can't survive without a codependent enabling it. And that dance was very present in our home. And, you know, by the time I was the age of 10, things were really getting out of hand, sometimes violent. You know, I was growing into a young woman. I was 10 years old, and my body was already. And I was dealing with all of that. And, you know, when your body's changing control and eating disorders come into high alert. I experienced a sexual assault on myself when I was 10 years old. And I remember just wondering, what was this all for? Why is this happening? This has to be. This has to mean something more than what I'm experiencing. I honestly remember that at 10 years old, questioning what was life about? And it was at that time. So it was 1982, when I was 10 years old and growing up in Chicago. We were introduced to this young woman long before the world knew who she was. And I remember getting ready for school in the morning and having the TV on in the background. And as I was getting ready, I remember hearing this laugh and this voice, and I could just feel something about this woman's energy that was so magnetic. And I was drawn to. And I remember walking over from the mirror to the TV and looking at the person that I was so drawn to. And it wasn't what I expected. I had no judgment around it, but it wasn't at all what I expected to see on tv. And she was this beautiful black woman with this big Afro. And all of a sudden I was like, okay, I don't know why I'm drawn to her, but I am. Ironically, two years later, the world would know her as Oprah Winfrey when the Oprah Winfrey show was nationally syndicated all over the United States.

And it was then that I already knew who she was. I'd been listening to her for two years on that silly morning show called AM Chicago. And she started my everyday. And by the time I was 12, when the Oprah Winfrey show started, I was recording her on a VCR. So you less than 30 somethings probably don't even know what a VCR is, which is hilarious, but I would record it on our VCR every Morning because the Oprah Winfrey show was on at 9 o'. Clock. And every day after I would come home from school, I would watch and, you know, the first couple episodes weren't anything too heavy. And I will never forget the day that I heard Oprah speak about the immense abuse she suffered as a young child and how she was now using that to and her platform to speak about it. Not just to dump all her shit on the world, but to actually use it for something much bigger than herself. And it was in that moment that I realized, even though I didn't understand the pain I was in, I didn't understand why all this was happening. I knew that all of this was going to matter for something. And as a 12 year old who feels very alone in the world, to have that kind of awareness was really, really huge. It was also at this time that I was really seeking faith. I knew who God was. You know, being Irish, you kind of know what the Catholic life is. We didn't really practice it or live it. My grandmother was very much into the Catholic religion, so I had heard about God and all of the things. But at that same time, I would get on my bike on Sunday mornings. And here's the thing, like in those days, and you know, you've heard the phrase, thank God it's Friday. And I was not one of those kids that ever loved Friday. Even though I knew I had the weekend off from school. Fridays usually meant that a shit show was coming, you know, when you throw alcohol in the mix and all sorts of things. And by then my mom was joining in and it was getting out of control. I longed for Sunday mornings because that's when the dust would settle and it got quiet. And I remember getting on my bike many mornings just seeking out God or whatever that looked like. And where I lived, there was a number of different denominations of churches within a bike ride away. And there was one morning on a Sunday morning when everybody was still sleeping, it was pouring rain out and I got on my bike and rode from church to church. There was a Catholic church, a Lutheran church, Christian church. And I'll never forget, I landed in this Baptist church in Downers Grove, Illinois, in the pouring rain. And I walked in and I remember I had to walk down a few steps to go into the building. And if this happened today, y', all, you know, the cops would be called. I was, I think I was 10 years old when this happened. And, you know, I was soaking wet. I looked like a drowned rat. And I remember the whole kind of like Foyer kind of cleared the way and parted like the Red Sea as I walked up to some stranger. And they looked down at me and said, what are you doing here?

And that's when I looked up and I said, I have no idea. And that person handed me my very first Bible. It was maroon with gold imprinted writing on it. And that was my first taste of really seeking out something much bigger than me. Because this all had to make sense for something. Why else would I be going through what I was going through at such a young age? Why else were bad things happening in the world? And to me, I needed to make sense of it. And I've always been one of those kids, people, women that I need to understand why things are the way they are, whether it was in school or in my careers. Like, if I need, if I'm going to be on board with something, I need to understand why. And so I think in some way, for me to go along for the ride with whatever life and the cards I would be dealt, I needed to understand maybe why this was happening. And between God and Oprah, I understood that at some point this was all going to matter for something. And you know, there were decades that I spent trying to make sense of it and taking God into my own hands, so to speak. And when things weren't going my way and the cards that I was dealt weren't the ones that I wanted, I would try to deal my own hand. And if you've ever tried to do that, you and I both know that it never ends well. And there were many years of heartbreak and self abuse and entering relationships that weren't good for me, and eating disorders, getting out of control, and my own kind of disordered relationship with alcohol began. And, you know, it was a long road.

Through high school and college. Of course, I was that perfectionist overachiever. I believed that I was only worthy if I did good. I was always trying to please my dad. He adored me. However, I didn't receive it that way. I knew he adored me, but he was the king of the backhanded compliment. You know, it's like, that's great. But. And anytime you. So if you're a parent out there, if you say something to your children and put but after it, just know that they. That negates everything that you said before the but. And that's pretty much how I interpreted everything that was said to me. If there was a but, then what came after that was really what the truth was. And so, you know, I spent most of my life trying to accommodate my dad and what I thought he'd be proud of. And I took that upon myself to do that. It's not like he said I needed to be perfect, but those were the coping mechanisms that I knew made me feel safe. And that's the thing as we use these coping mechanisms early on, and I used many. I used alcohol, I used food, I used perfectionism, I used control, I used isolation, I used a lack of vulnerability, I used manipulation. You know, we could go on and on with the things that we used to survive hard things as a child. And the problem is we build a story and a belief system around those things, which is exactly what I did. I had a belief system that.

Had me operating from a place that if I wasn't this, then I was nothing. And especially when it came to men, you know, because based on my relationship with my dad, that pretty much set the tone for every male relationship I would have moving forward.

When it came to women. You know, I'm a mom today and I know the power of being a mom. And my mom did the very best she could with what she had to work with. But as a mother, they moms teach us not only how to be women, but what we can expect from women. And what I had learned from my mom based on how she chose to show up or did the best she could with how she show up was that, you know, I couldn't trust that they would be there for me. I low key thought my mom was weak for not ever standing up for my dad, except when it came to my sister.

I believed that there would be some abandonment or neglect when it came to women based on how my mom showed up. And again, this is based on the belief system that I developed early, early on. And so not only did I believe I needed to be perfect in order to have approval for men, I shut off from all women, never letting them get close because I assumed they wouldn't be there for me. So that left Tracy pretty much not knowing who the hell she was. Of course, I thought best way to solve all these problems was to get married and move far, far away. And so at the age of 20, I met the guy that I would marry. He was from Arizona, hated the cold Chicago winters. And I saw that as my ticket out. He was a good man. But looking back, you know, this is 25 something years ago, almost 30 years ago. I can see very clearly that I was believing that moving far away and changing the environment would ensure that I wouldn't repeat what I grew up with. And so of course, like a good Irish girl does. I get married super young and have back to back Irish twins and everything was great. You know, the house with the two dogs and the two kids. And then all of a sudden my daughter turns 4. That's when my memories started flooding me. The rage that I felt.

The panic that I felt knowing that holy shit. I realized that I can't outrun, outlast, outwit, outthink anything that I grew up with. I needed to repair it, but I didn't know how. I didn't have the tools. I wasn't willing to be vulnerable. I never asked for help. So what am I supposed to do? I had no idea. But I remember looking into the eyes of my own 4 year old and remembering my 4 year old self and how her life couldn't be more different than mine. But here I am, her mom and how am I going to show her a different way? I didn't know. I didn't know I was filled with rage because I realized how much was put on a four year old back in my childhood. And so it was 19 years ago, when my daughter was 4, that I walked into the rooms of Al Anon for the first time. I don't know how I found it, to be honest with you. It was probably like some out of body experience, like God just guiding me to some place to at least open up an awareness level.

You know, when you grow up in that environment, you pretty much think you're the only one. You think you're so unique and that nobody would ever understand what it was like for me. But as I walked into the rooms of Al Anon 19 years ago and I heard stories and the things that they were saying about being a child of an alcoholic or a loved one of an alcoholic, I was curled up in the fetal position and sobbing uncontrollably. Because not only did I realize that I wasn't the only one, but there was help out there. The problem was, is I didn't know how to ask for help and I was not willing to be vulnerable at that time. So my run in Al Anon was very, very short lived. But it was then that I picked up my very first two personal development books. And I'll never forget them. I recommend them very often to people, especially anybody that grew up with addiction. And those books were Codependent no More and Perfect Daughters. And as I read them I was like, holy shit. They wrote books about my life.

But like a good perfectionist does, I marched on in my life and kind of Just shoved it all down between, you know, food and alcohol. From time to time, I just kept thinking I could stuff it down and that would make it go away. And if you have done any personal development at all, you know that it never works that way. And so all of that came to a head. I ended up divorced. We'll get into that another day. I had businesses and we went through a recession and foreclosure and bankruptcy and, you know, being tag teamed by addictions between, you know, alcohol abuse and two eating disorders. You know, eventually that house of cards was about to come tumbling down and I was about to be exposed. And that was my biggest fear. I didn't want anybody to see me weak.

But it was in 2012 that I got a call that changed everything. And the strongest man I had ever known told me he was just diagnosed with cancer and that they didn't give him much time. And, you know, my dad was a no filter kind of guy, no bullshit. And I remember when he said that to me, I was like, okay, dad, bottom line me, what does that mean? And he said, they gave me three weeks to three months. You should probably come home so we can spend some time together. And 11 days later, I got a call that hospice was called in. And that day I got on an airplane and I landed touchdown in Florida or in Chicago. And 10 hours later, my dad passed away after a 12 day cancer diagnosis. And I had just turned 40. I was in a career that I hated. I was in a relationship that I knew wasn't good for me, but I was hanging in there. My kids were teenagers and starting to repeat things that I was doing which I knew weren't good. And that life is too short.

Cliche came and whacked me upside the head. And I knew if I didn't repair this, it was going to be repeated. And I didn't want to go to the grave giving my kids the legacy that I just got left. My dad was a great man. He taught me the things that I'm really good at came from my dad. My, my business mindset, my money mindset, my resilience, my independence, my savviness, my ability to talk to people. All of that came from my dad. And so did the pride and so did the arrogance and so did the. The stubbornness and a lot of those things. But that life is too short came up and hit me between the eyeballs, and I knew I needed to ask for help. And about six weeks after he died, my alcohol dysfunction came to a head where I couldn't hide it anymore. And it was leaving a lot of wreckage. And so I figured the best way to get help was to go away for a little while. And I sat the kids down and said, this is what I need to do. And I promise, when I get back, it's going to be different. And I don't know how, but I know why. I know why. And that why is because of you, too. And I want something different for you than I've shown you.

So that was when I voluntarily checked myself into rehab. And I knew that it wasn't even though alcohol was the thing everybody kind of could see, it was the eating disorders that was going to take me out. And so when I walked into rehab, I put all the cards on the table. I held nothing back. I spoke truth, all of it, for the first time in my life.

Not caring what judgment came at the hands of, you know, the people that I was in rehab with or my therapist. And it was then that I surrendered for the first time in my life. And even though it was the scariest thing I've ever done, it was most freedom I'd ever. I'd ever felt, even, you know, holed up in a rehab center out here in Scottsdale, Arizona.

So to fast forward through that.

I remember the very first thing I heard in rehab was that about only 2% of us were going to stay sober the rest of our life. And I remember, of course, that savviness, that number sense that I have. I started to do math as I looked around the room, and the very first words I spoke up in rehab was, I apologize to each and every one of you because none of you are going to make it, because I am that 2%. And I'm happy to report seven years later, I still am sober of all addictions, my eating disorders, my alcohol abuse, all of it. But it has not come easy.

The day before I checked into rehab, I walked away from my career, taking my income down to zero. I sold cars. I was in the car industry, had a few businesses in the car industry as well before I went into the corporate end of it. And I knew if I stayed in that industry, it was just a matter of time. You know, you've heard the phrase environment is stronger than willpower, and I had tested that over and over and over, and I knew that to be true. And if I was really going to change my life, I needed to change everything about my environment. And that meant all people, places, and things. I needed to change my playmates. I needed to change. To change the places I played. And so when I did that, I wiped out my entire social network, taking it down to two, basically my two children and one friend here in Arizona. And everybody else kind of got discarded. I still had the relationship I was trying to hold on to, but that was just. That was a disaster waiting to happen. And.

I took about six months in my early sobriety to really work on myself. I went to meetings all the time. I got a sponsor. I did what I was told, which I usually resisted. But, you know, if you want something different for your life, it's going to require something completely different from you. And I knew that I was only going to listen to people who had what I wanted, and then I was going to do what they did. And that's a clue, y'. All. And if you want something different, you're going to have to do something different. And I only take advice from people I would be willing to trade places with and that have what I want. And so those first six months, it's exactly what I did. I became a good student, but I also was an integrator. And that's the problem with personal development today. And this is why this podcast is so important to me, because in the land of personal development, there we are saturated with knowledge and information and education, right? But there isn't enough people actually showing you what integration looks like. And not only was I a master learner, but I was a master integrator once I made my mind up. And so in those early days of sobriety, I was introduced to a product line that I wanted to put in my body, because I felt like shit pretty much every day, figuring it was just residual from, you know, living a hard life. And the next thing I knew, I was feeling incredible. And that's when I Googled the company that was responsible for these products. And I was like, oh, shit, it's a network marketing company. This is not what I had in mind for a career. So, mind you, I was unemployed, which, you know, I'm the type of girl that goes back to work 13 days after having kids. So for me to be unemployed for six months was a huge deal for me. It's not that I couldn't find a job. I knew that I needed to get some things right in my head before I let my ego get in the way. And so when this network marketing thing was presented to me through a product line that I didn't even realize was network marketing, I was terrified. I was like, God, this is not what I had in mind for a change.

But back six Months earlier, when I was on the plane going back to Chicago to see my dad right before he passed away, I prayed so hard for an opportunity to change my life. I prayed so hard for the ability to be wherever I needed to be in crisis, so that the next time I ever got a call that somebody needed me to be somewhere I could drop everything and go and not have it based on how much was in my bank account or how much PT paid time off I had left.

So six months later, when this was introduced to me, I was like, yeah, this is not what I had in mind, God. So you got to be careful what you pray for because almost always it shows up in a package that you don't expect and almost always in a package you do not want. But I made a vow to do whatever it took to change my life. And when you want something different, you have to do something different. So my journey into network marketing started, gosh, six and a half years ago.

And it was the first time I publicly allowed myself to be vulnerable. You know, my best thinking had gotten me to not so great places. Yeah, I could overachieve and I could be successful, but I was never happy. And so I wanted to achieve and to be happy at the same time. And so I was willing to try this vulnerability out. And in recovery, I was introduced to Brene Brown. And so I knew what the gift of vulnerability was. That book was like a workbook for me. And so I decided that I'm going to put my money where my mouth is and have this radical honesty with the world. And all those things that I believed had me unqualified, to lead people, to serve people, to help change the world. Even though when I was 10 years old, I knew all of that shit was going to matter for something. It's one thing to know it, it's another thing to, with blind faith, take that walk. And that is exactly what I did. And sure enough, long story short, very quickly, I built that network marketing business within two years to a million dollar income, which was crazy to me.

My organization grew by tens of thousands, and today that organization is close to 100,000 people strong. I've been able to do so many beautiful things with that kind of money.

My leadership and that power of vulnerability back wasn't popular seven years ago. Not many people were exhibiting that kind of vulnerability. And I believe.

Not only is that what made me successful, but it really empowered people to change their life in ways that they hadn't before. And it was cool because not only was I able to be successful I.

Taught people how to be really successful, and not just in monetary ways, but to really be fulfilled with what they did. How I did that was very interesting. When I was in rehab, my therapist, who I still see today, introduced me to the Enneagram. She made me take the Enneagram test. And I was pissed. I was like, I don't want to take this thing. I don't like to be put in boxes. I don't like labels. Here I am in rehab with a label. I don't really want to add more labels to my resume. But again, I was coachable. And so I took the test, and when it revealed what I was, you know, through her coaching, I didn't like what I saw. And it is very similar to when we look in the mirror. We look in the mirror and where do our eyes go? They automatically go to the places we don't want to see, right? The places that we criticize, the places that we beat ourselves up for. And I'm here to tell you, when I took that Enneagram, of course, when I looked at the behaviors of my type, which is an 8 the challenger, by the way, I saw things like bully and, you know, aggressive and violent when they're at their unhealthiest state. And I stopped myself very quickly because I no longer was going to use this shit as a weapon on myself. And she had explained that the Enneagram was a road map. And I was like, okay, well, I don't like that road, that dark road. I have been on that dark road. I don't need to go there anymore. So I immediately shifted my focus, and this was huge for me. I immediately shifted my focus to where I was going. I looked at all the beautiful, healthiest traits of my type. I saw when this personality was at its best, how it showed up in the world. And I saw things like world class leader, they move the needle, they inspire action. They change the world when they're healthy. And so I made it my goal seven years ago when I read that, that I was going to strive to be the healthiest version of who God designed me to be. And here's the thing with that Enneagram is like, we are born with a disposition. We are born with a temperament. And then life happens. And how that gets expressed is how it's going to play out in our own personality. And so all those things I believed as a young girl, that I had the ability, like I said, I was on a bike seeking it out at 10 years old. And so for me to be 43 decades later to see exactly the exact roadmap that would lead me to my healthiest self, which served the greatest good and the greatest God, I was all for it. And so, every day since then, I have been working hard to become the healthiest version of me. Not of Susie on Instagram, not of so and so. I have vowed to always show up as Tracy, the best version of Tracy that God designed her to be. And that is when I fell in love with the Enneagram. And to be able to build the network marketing company I did. The network marketing business I did, it was going to require leverage. And because I had wiped out my social network, I really wasn't the poster child for what a successful network marketer looked like. Yes, I'm that single mom that went to rehab with no social network. Please join my team. Nope, it didn't look like that. So I knew that I needed to leverage and speak the what was in it for them language to every person that I talked to in their language. Not Tracy's language, but in whoever was in front of me their language. And so I studied the Enneagram, and I could tell within a few minutes, ballpark, what personality I was talking to. And I knew what their core desires were. I knew what their core fears were. And I spoke to them. And I poured belief and spoke life into them in a language that they could understand. And I was able to bring up those best in people through using the Enneagram. And that's. That's where that all began. But the whole reason I was passionate about the Enneagram was because it became very clear when I was sitting in rehab that the communication I was trying to have with my children wasn't working very well. They were 14 and 15 when I went into rehab, and I knew that they were very different from me. And the last thing I wanted to do was try to make them me. I knew that they were beautifully and wonderfully made by God, too. And all I knew was how to operate like me. And so when I was studying the Enneagram, I was able to identify what my children were. And when I came home, I started speaking to them in their language and in an empowering way for them. And it changed everything. It changed everything in their posture and their confidence, and not only that, the communication we had as a family. My son jokes today, my kids are very well versed in the Enneagram now. And my son was reading the unhealthy traits of us. My son is a two, the helper. My daughter is a seven. The Enthusiast. And I am the eight, the challenger. And my son was reading the unhealthy traits of each of our personality types, and that is pretty much where we were at in 2012, all three of us. And he looked up and he goes, how the hell did we not kill each other? Then I'm like, you know what? It's only by the grace of God and our willingness to do the work and our willingness to have compassion for each other and our willingness to forgive. And, you know, there's so much more to this story. But, you know, I realized that to become bulletproof when I was a kid, I thought becoming bulletproof meant that I had a wall up and there was a wall that nobody could penetrate. And, you know, not only did I block out hard things about my life, and I'm sure there's many of you out there that have built walls. Not only did I have a wall, I had a moat around it. So there was an extra layer of protection, but I was also blocking out all the beauty that life had to offer as well. And it's only when I began to stand on the front line of my life, knowing that the hits were going to come, but I could see everything very clearly at the front line that, you know, with my willingness to do the work, that I could become bulletproof. It didn't mean I was not going to feel the hits or take the pain that came with it or not get knocked on my ass from time to time because I did all of that. I had all of that. But because of the work I was doing, I had the tools to get back up again with grace, with elegance, and with a fire that nobody could put out. It's when you become bulletproof that you are able to make the impact that you desire. You never are able to do that when you stand in the back row of your own life. And that's where I resided. Behind my walls, behind the moat. You can't do what you want in the world and make the impact that I know each of you listening desire. I see you on Instagram. I hear what you're telling me in the DMs. You want to make a difference in the world. You're doing all the things. You're going to, the events, you're. You're getting coaches, which you know, all to be applauded. But you don't integrate. You don't stand on the front line of your life. You've got fear at the wheel. And it's here, in doing this work over the last seven years, hardcore you know, I've been at this 19 years. Since that first day I walked into Al Anon, I was chipping away at it. But the last seven, I've been relentless about moving the needle forward every single day and becoming the best version of myself. And the only competition there is is who I was yesterday to who I am today. That is the only competition. And the road to becoming bulletproof doesn't come without pain. However, the stronger you are, the more resilient you become.

The new conditioning you learn allows you to stand at that front line, not only taking the hits and learning, but you're able to clear the path for others. You are a trailblazer. And you know, I'm almost 50, which is crazy. I said that in the beginning, and if you had told me this is how this would play out, I wouldn't have believed you. You know, back as that 10 year old girl, I knew that was all going to matter for something, but I couldn't have predicted this. And you know, as we take this journey together on this podcast, there's going to be some intense moments, there's going to be some wall kicking moments, and I hope that you continue to come back because I have so much more to share with you. And you know, my goal is to help you learn from my mistakes so you don't have to learn some of the harder ways that I did. Because I've made a lot of freaking mistakes along the way. And you know, I've done a lot of damage, not only to myself, but to other people along the way. And if you can learn something from me, that is my goal for you. And I hope that you continue to come back.

Because when we have an army standing on the front line, we can make this world a much better place. There's so much out in the world that is heartbreaking and hard to hear and hard to see. But I believe that one person at a time, standing on the front line, doing beautiful work for the greatest good, we can change the world. We really, really can. But you're going to have to be brave and courageous. And my goal with this podcast is to give you tools not only in education, but to really share with you and teach you how to integrate that and to give you real life stories and scenarios, not just from myself, but the people I'm going to bring you. I'm going to do a lot of Enneagram talk. A lot of my solo episodes will be based on the Enneagram, because I believe self awareness is the number one first step. It's not enough to be self aware, but between the self awareness and me showing you tips and tricks and tools how to acknowledge where this is rooted and then take compassionate, effective action to move the needle forward, it's going to be beautiful. Your journey will be something that you couldn't have predicted.

But thank you for allowing me to have a front row seat to it. So as we move forward, I would love it if you share this podcast with people you care about. I promise you whenever I show up and turn the mic on that I will give you everything I've got. I promise that I will be open and vulnerable in real time. You know, 2019 has single handedly been the most.

Hard, challenging, abundant and beautiful year of my entire life. And I have so much to share about what's gone on this last year and I hope that through my experience.

It can shed light on the path that you are on. And you know one of the things that when I was in rehab that very first day, the thing that brought me to tears, I remember I was sitting at the newcomers table at an AA meeting that they had loaded me in a bus in a passenger van and they used to call them the druggie buggies, which was humiliating in of itself.

But I'll never forget this and I want you to hear this loud and clear no matter where you are in your journey and if you are beating yourself up for where you've been or you have things about your life and your past that you know you have gone down the deep dark hole of shame. And shame I'm here to tell you is a silent killer. But the thing that I read that I wanted to believe so badly and it brought me to, you know, tears, like uncontrollable tears. That first day in rehab I was sitting at this table and right in front of me was this big huge sign with the promises of AA. And if you Google page 83 and 84.

In the big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, whether you're an addict or not, these are beautiful promises in which to know that when you do the work, these things can come true. And the one that got me and you know, my faith was strong, but I was like, I don't know how this is possible for a girl like me. When I read the phrase, no matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. I didn't see how that was possible. How was anybody going to learn from the shit show I was. But I'm here to tell you, with an unconditional commitment to do the work every single day. And here's the thing, the work continues until our time on earth is done. That over and over, it has shown me that my experience benefits so many. And I hope that through our journey together on the Becoming Bulletproof podcast, you will see how my experience maybe can help you. And as we go, if something lands on your heart, share it. It's the way that this message can get out to the world. It's how I can maybe even pull in some people that you really want to hear from that you haven't been able to. I would love it if you love this episode, if you wouldn't mind screenshotting it and let me know what landed on your heart. We have so much to talk about. For however long I am here on this earth, this podcast will remain. And I know that our experiences together can do some great good out there. So if you screenshot it and share it on social media, please tag me in it so I can, you know, hear your heart. And if you have questions or ideas for who or what you'd love to hear about on this podcast, I would love that. You can find me on Instagram, @traceeomel, of course, on Facebook and LinkedIn and all the things. I have a website@traceyomally.com where I talk about things like the Enneagram and how you can work with me, of course. But I look forward. I was scared shitless to do this podcast and in fact I recorded an interview with one of my best friends before I did this episode because I wanted to get the nervous Nellies out before this podcast, before my first episode for all of you. So I look forward to our journey together and I want you to know that you too can become bulletproof. And it's there that you can make the change that you wish, not only in your life, but in every single life you touch. Thank you so much for following along, for tuning in and I look forward to hearing from you. I look forward to sharing more and experiencing life alongside you, seeing how we can make this world a better place together. Until next time, I'll see you soon.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become bulletproof. Sam.