04: The Enneawhat? Enneawhy do I need to know this?

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur.

And master performance and business coach.

I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent.

Truth and ethos, an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here.

Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o' Malley and I am so pumped to talk about what I'm about to talk about today. It has become a trendy, trendy little topic and I see it being used in not the most effective ways. So what we are talking about today is the Enneagram. And when I talk about it, people that know it really, you know, they have all the nuts and little pieces about it, they know some things. But it's so funny when I say it and people have no idea. They're like the enia what? The enia what? And it's interesting because if you had told me that this is something that I would have been studying for the last seven years, I would have laughed because I, for about four decades, was that person that didn't want labels, didn't want to be put in any kind of boxes. And quite honestly, that was my own ignorance on certain subjects. You know, I was pretty stubborn, resistant, wasn't the most coachable person all the time. And I was introduced to the Enneagram while I was in rehab, actually from my therapist seven years ago. And I remember.

When she wanted me to take it. Of course I was a little bit bitter back then and a little resistant, even though I was there to get some work done. But she had me take it and we get the results back and we're talking about it. And when I was looking at my type, I was not shocked, but I was also a little sad, quite honestly. You know, when we look in the mirror, I am pretty sure this is human nature all across the board. I don't care who you are. When you look in the mirror, do you automatically look at all the places that you love about yourself? I would bet that the answer is no. We always tend to look at the things that we want to improve that are like a thorn in our side. And when I saw my results on the Enneagram, I did basically the same thing. I went to all the unhealthier traits and behaviors of my personality and I caught myself. Thank goodness I was in the right place at the right time with the right mind frame. Even though I was a little resistant to know that this wasn't just to be used to bash myself or as a whipping stick on myself. This was actually to be used as something to help me grow and get to a healthier state of who I was. This wasn't meant to change who I was or to put me in a box, quite honestly, it was helped me to get out of the box that I put myself in. So I immediately pivoted and looked to all the beautiful, healthy traits of my personality type and knew without question, with the mindset I was in, with the determination that I was, that I had at that time, that I was heading to all the healthy parts of my personality. Didn't mean I was going to be a different person, although some days I feel very different. But at the core of who I am, it is very much that same person that I was born. And I believe that we are all born with a temperament and a disposition 100%. We are beautifully and wonderfully divinely made to be unique to who we are. And you know, we have these distinct things about ourselves. And then life happens and environments change and sometimes we have to.

Really develop some compensatory strategies, you know, coping mechanisms to deal with our environment, especially if we grew up in an environment that was unhealthy or even violent sometimes, or whatever that looks like for you. Right? So when I started studying the Enneagram, I realized that it was ancient teaching. And there, there are tons of different personality tests out there. And I hear a lot about Myers, Briggs and Disc and, you know, all the other ones. And they're all great, but. And they all have value. But what I love about the Enneagram is it doesn't just focus on behaviors. It actually focuses on core motivation, core fears, core desires, core beliefs, which is really, really, really important. Right. And this also allows you to help with self mastery. It's an amazing thing when you can understand who you are and then use your beautiful God given gifts the way that they were designed. It opens up your world and everybody around you, their world too, to really see how using what you were born with is actually an asset. And I think for myself, I know I can speak for myself, hear that for a good four decades, I beat up the very thing that was the great qualities about me. And so when I was introduced to the Enneagram, it was my goal to move towards the healthy range of who I was.

Like I said, the Enneagram isn't just behaviors. And that's the thing that I see a lot of times with the Enneagram being used. I mean, there's online tests, free tests, and I'm here to tell you that those tests, even the paid ones, are about 60% accurate. And then what happens is we get this test, and then I see it being used as a weapon sometimes, or as a shield. We use it as a weapon on ourselves. We go to those unhealthy parts of ourselves, and then we start beating ourselves up. Or I used it a lot like this. We use it as a shield, like, this is just who I am. I ain't changing too bad. You know, that's kind of how I operated. And I also it being used as a judgment tool for other people. And so why I'm so passionate about talking about it is because I want it to be used responsibly. I want it to be used for your greatest good and the greatest good for all. And so bringing it to the mainstream in podcast form and coaching form, social media is something that.

Was really, really important to me. I think that as a whole, as a world, we are suffering from a crisis of meaning. I think so many of us are seeking out, making more money and, you know, doing more things and all the things, but we can have success. But there's this lack of fulfillment and meaning that so many have. And in this world of social media that's chipping away at that even more, I think there's. There's this piece that's missing. And when we have this roadmap and road back to who you actually are at your core, I think it helps. Giving a universal understanding of human purpose and passion and possibility, quite honestly. So you know, this. Know thyself. You know, we live in a world where there's a coach on every corner at this point. And I'm not knocking it. There's a lot of really great coaches, but I think that a lot of coaches go into the industry and even therapists. You would be surprised how many therapists hit up my inbox wanting my help, which I'm not judging it. I get it. I think people, for the right reasons, get into coaching or therapy and psychology because they truly do want to help people. And I think there's this part of them that believes that in helping and coaching and teaching other people, we can bypass our own kind of work. Not intentionally, but we think that kind of being in the pit with people will allow us to heal by osmosis and grow by osmosis. And that isn't always the truth. And the fact of the matter is to really effectively lead other people, you must first know thyself and.

Whether that's in your home, which is where this all started for me. So I'll take you back to the beginning. Obviously, I was in therapy. Things clearly weren't working in my life very well. I had a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol. I had eating disorders that were tag teaming me. I was a single mother of two teenagers at the time, seven years ago. And it was very evident that the communication was breaking down in my family. The way that I would communicate wasn't landing the way that I intended on the hearts of both my kids. I have a son and a daughter, my Irish twins that are only a year apart. And even though I meant well in my communication, I could tell I was chipping away at their spirit and at their soul. And that's the last thing I wanted. I grew up in a household where it was do as I say, not as I do, and, you know, it's my way or the highway kind of thinking. And that was the last thing I wanted for my children. I wanted them to grow and be exactly who they were designed to be. And I was just the guide for them. But the fact was, is I wasn't guiding them in a way that harnessed their gifts and spoke to their spirit. And so that's why I really became passionate about the Enneagram. And once I understood who I was and all the different parts, which I'll get into in a second, I then went to work to understand both my kids. And it became very, very clear very quickly why the way that I was communicating wasn't landing and why even they were having conflict with each other. And so as I began to unpack my type and their types, I developed new GPS coordinates within our family. And you would be shocked to see how fast things started to shift in our home. The communication, the general compassion and understanding of each other. I wasn't trying to make my son Joey into me or my daughter into me. Honoring Joey for who he was and all those little things, I used to be frustrated with both of them for. I realized that that was an indicator that they were under stress. And it Wasn't personal. And once I understood that, I could lead with compassion instead of frustration. And so that is where all of this started. And I saw how quickly. And it wasn't complicated, it was. You know, when you are headed to a destination, when you have the right GPS coordinates, you can pretty much trust that it's going to lead you into the right direction. But if you get in the car expecting to get to Mexico with no roadmap, no rhyme or reason, no GPS leading the way, it can, it can be a shit show from time to time. And so using the Enneagram as an internal GPS system, not just for yourself, but an understanding of everybody else's coordinates. And you know, it's not. It's not definite. It's definitely not something that is like absolute. But it definitely gives you a lot of clues in when you're dealing with anybody, whether it's family, business partners, teammates, if you're in leadership, your personal self, you got to start with you. But it really helps when you know what you're working with and where you're headed. Right?

Don't mind me. I still have this silly cold. So what the Enneagram is, is this beautiful diagram. It looks kind of like this secret code, quite honestly. And it's a personality typing system. It interconnects nine different personality types that are arranged in a chart resembling kind of like a pentagram. The symbol can look a little esoteric, but it truly isn't. It's. It's just a map that connects all of us together as humans. And I love it. The truth is, is there's actually 27 types. But I'll get into why that is a little bit later. So there are basic personality types and the nine personality types fall into three different triads. There is the head, the heart, and the body. And there are three types that fall into each category. The body center is. There are three types that fall into there that are, you know, their primary go to in making decisions or operating system is instinctual and intuition. The head types are the thinkers and the emotional. It's the emotional center and the heart. I'm sorry, the heart is the emotional center and the head center is like the intellectual part. And like I said, there's three in each category. So in the body center types or the instinctual types are the nine, the eight and the seven. The nine which is typically called the Peacemaker, the eight which is the challenger and the one which is called the reformer, and the nine which is the peacemaker is at the very top of the Enneagram. I like to call it the prince or princess of the Enneagram because they kind of have the bird's eye view of all the other eight types.

They focus their attention on others and what is going on in the environment.

Some of their strengths are they're approachable and non judgmental, kind of easygoing and accepting. Where they can get into trouble and kind of get off path is they sometimes question themselves, can be indecisive and stubborn. They definitely, when they're not in their healthy state, avoid confrontation and can kind of become like lazy or shut down about who they are and what they want. The nines, when they're healthy, can be the voice of reason a lot of times. And you know, when they're the prince or princess at the top of the Enneagram and they're at their healthiest state, some of them can be the greatest conflict solvers. My personal coach is a nine in the healthiest form. And my goodness, does he really embody that voice of reason. Now the eight, which is called the challenger, that is who I am. And when I read the hang ups and challenges that the 8 is, it was very, I thought of words like bully, intimidating, and quite honestly, those were aspects of my personality that I wore like a badge of honor because it kept me safe. The challengers don't like to be vulnerable. Whereas the nines like to be safe at all costs and protect the environment and all things, they can be a chameleon. The eight does not want to be put in a vulnerable situation. All so they focus their attention on power and control. Who has it, who doesn't. Eights don't necessarily need to be in control of everything, but they won't be controlled. Their strengths, when they are in the healthiest form, they are clear and strong and honest. They can identify issues, they are determined, they are the visionaries and they are so darn decisive.

They have an easy access to anger. So the body triad, that's our go to. So for the 8, 9 and 1, anger is always there. The eights kind of express it. Outwardly, the nines completely avoid it and the ones kind of internalize it. So when the 8, the challenger is not in a healthy state, they can be intimidating, impatient, like I said, afraid of vulnerability. They pretty much, you know how you say ready, aim, fire, they go backwards, fire, aim, and then ask if anybody's ready so they can get themselves into a little trouble from time to time. The one, the last type in the.

Body category triad is called the reformer or the perfectionist. And when they're strong and healthy, they can be. They're like the responsible, integrity, honorable, very discerning, hard working. They're the ones committed to lifelong improvement.

You know, they focus on noticing error all the time, discerning right and wrong and just displaying a reliance on rules and structure. These are like the rule followers. And not only will they call other people out when they step out of line. As critical as they can be when they're unhealthy, nothing matches the inner critic for the ones. Their inner critic has a megaphone. When ones bury all those feelings for a long, long time, resentment and irritation and anger that is restrained can kind of bubble up to the surface. And they can get kind of aggressive when they're not healthy. And they can become r rigid and highly structured. But when they are in a healthy spot, they make the world a better place. They get shit done and they are the truth seekers and the greatest good for all humanity. But when they get in that unhealthy spot, they can become a little off the grid, a little bit, so to speak. So in the heart center triad are the types 2, 3 and 4. And these are the people that their main go to is emotions. And you know, their go to thing like the body triad one was anger. The heart center can go to shame. That's kind of where they go. And so they can get into some trouble with that from time to time. I like you guys have heard me say possibly that.

Shame is the silent killer, right? Shame can destroy lots of dreams.

So the first one in the heart triad is the two, which is the helper. And actually that is what my son is. Their strengths, they are the empathetic listeners. They're relationship oriented and helpful. They offer useful advice and resources. They're the ones that are available to help.

They focus on gaining approval. They seduce others through helpfulness as a strategic way to get their own disowned needs met. They are able to read people and feel energy around them. And they can align with what they perceive to be their moods and preferences in order to maximize the potential for connection.

Two, their biggest fear is rejection. And so they often repress their feelings and effort to please others. These are the ones when they're unhealthy, they become extremely codependent. They put all their needs aside and if they're not careful, they can end up in relationships with sometimes addicts, narcissists, because one can't feed without the other. Because the helper is so like. Their entire worth, they believe, is based on being of service. And helping, you know, and air quotes others. And addicts kind of really get enabled by those people.

But twos can feel emotionally conflicted all the time. They can express happy feelings as a way of appearing likable to others. But deep down there's this sadness. Like they don't feel like they're lovable unless they are helping other people. They can be upbeat and energetic and friendly. Like I said, this can sometimes mask that the superpower that the two the helper needs is boundaries. And, you know, raising a two, I have seen him go from some of the more unhealthy ways to probably one of the healthiest twos I've ever seen. When A2 can acknowledge their own needs and don't take that as selfish.

They are able to establish boundaries. And then their superpower of empathy and compassion, which is a huge important superpower, but not at the sacrifice of themselves, they become incredible leaders. Now the threes, and mind you, I'm just touching on this, these go way in depth. In lots of ways, the threes are the achievers. These are the results oriented people. They focus their attention on tasks and goals to create an image of success in the eyes of others. They believe that their worth is based on what they achieve. They identify with their work, believing that they are what they do. And sometimes they can lose touch with who they really are. A lot of workaholics fall into this category. People that are highly, highly, highly.

Recognition focused.

You know, this is kind of where they fall into. A lot of times I thought that I might have been an achiever at one point, but because I was so competitive and believing that how I performed was actually how I gained worth. But the more I dug into it, it really wasn't that for me. But a lot of times a three can fall into. They usually grew up in a home where they felt like they had to prove their worth. They had to get the perfect grades. There was a high emphasis on grades and performance and sports or whatever that looked like.

And so sometimes the three can lose themselves. They can appear fake, sometimes they can be wrongly judged for being inauthentic. And they don't mean to. It's just kind of how they operate. They know how to look at a situation and know exactly what they have to be in order to win. But what happens is sometimes they can become out of touch with their feelings and they can avoid their feelings because getting caught up in emotion prevents them from getting shit done. Like I said, they can be fast paced workaholics.

Vanity is a passionate concern. For one's image, living for the eyes of others. But when a three is in a healthy state, they know that they don't necessarily have to be the person out of the gates winning, but actually because of that work ethic, they can lead really amazing, strong teams. But when they are unhealthy, they kind of just plow through it all. And then so many times I see the achievers, you know, hit the goal, and then there's zero fulfillment, because they're doing it from a place of believing that their worth comes from their achievement. They're always moving the finish line. So when a achiever can understand that they are worthy just because they're beautiful, because they're made the way that they're made, not because of what they achieve, then they actually have fulfillment when they do some of the things that they work so hard at.

The last type in the heart triad is called the individualist. And these ones fascinate me. Their focus of attention is on their own feelings, the feelings of others, and interpersonal connection and disconnection. They feel a sense of deficiency about their own worth. They always feel like something's missing. So they go out and seek, you know, idealized experiences or qualities that they perceive as outside themselves. They think they're very, very unique, which is actually a strength of theirs because they are very unique. They're empathetic, they're creative, they're very artistic. A lot of times, not always. They are patient in dealing with difficult issues. They're the ones that will, like if you're telling a sad story. They're like, yeah, me too. So they can kind of pick up on other people's emotions very, very well. They value authentic expressions of a wide range of emotion, and their thought patterns center on what's missing in a given situation and longing for whatever they perceive as ideal and somehow unavailable. So they're always seeking out the uniqueness of life. Fours can be reserved, and when they're not so healthy, withdrawn, they can be energetic and active, or both. They are emotionally intuitive and intense.

Where they can get into trouble sometimes is envy. Envy is like this underlying kind of thorn in their side. It manifests as a painful sense of lack and a craving toward what is felt like they are lacking. Envy grows usually out of an early sense of loss that leads to a perception that something good is outside of their experience.

And when this happens, they can go down a really, really dark road.

So we move into the head triad, which is our thinkers. And I have a child in the head triad. So if you're taking notes. I live in the body triad. My son lives in the heart triad. And I have a daughter that lives in in the head triad. And the first type in the head triad is the type 6, which is also known as the Loyalists. Some of my closest friends are the loyalists. They focus on thinking about what might go wrong and strategizing and preparing for it. They're the worst case scenario thinkers. They're the Troubleshooters. They are 10 steps ahead of most people. They've kind of thought things through.

This is a response usually to an early experience of maybe some danger. They have an adaptive strategy that centers on detecting threats and coping with fear. And their biggest fear is a lack of security or support or abandonment. And, you know, it's hard to talk about one kind of six because, you know, there's lots of factors. And the Sixes have a unique thing where you can have two sixes. It's the only type where you can have. There's a 6 that's called a phobic 6, and then there's a counterphobic 6. So a lot of times a 6, if they're a counterphobic 6, can be mistyped as an 8 or 3 or even a 1, because that 6 is afraid of security. The counterphobic 6 will aggressively face fear almost to prove that they're not afraid. And that's why they can come across as a challenger or even an achiever or a reformer sometimes. But then there's the phobic 6, which is more that introverted type. But like I said, there. There can be some distinct factors that changes the expression of the loyalist.

You know, the Sixes usually operate in fight, flight or freeze. Analytical and strategic in their thinking. Most of the times, I think, in terms of how to manage uncertainty. And their main goal is to feel safe.

They are watchful and alert. They're skeptical sometimes, but what is so strong about them when they are in a healthy range? They are the most reliable, observant people I know. They anticipate and plan thoroughly. So for somebody like me, that's an eight. That can be so decisive that we don't think things through clearly. Having a six friend so beneficial because they can be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Have you thought about this, this and this? So when you have a healthy loyalist, they're amazing and they're super warm, they're super courageous, they're hard workers intent on achievement and control. But they can have a hard time getting things done when their head is spinning out. You know, think about, you know, that meme where there's like 800 tabs open. That's pretty much a constancy state of the loyalist. So they can get caught up in procrastination, indecision and fear, even of success. Their constant awareness of what might go wrong makes them excellent problem solvers though. But you know, this underlying hang up for them is fear. And the physiological response they have to it sometimes goes hand in hand with anxiety, which can be sometimes more or less conscious depending on, you know, their subtypes and stuff.

But when sixes are on point, I recommend everybody have a healthy six in their corner because they are some amazing people for sure. All right.

Oh, I skipped one. I always skip the five. I do this every time. So the five is called the investigator and they are also in the head triad. Fives are called the investigators and they believe that knowledge is power. So they like to observe what's going around them without getting too involved, especially emotionally. So I've worked with a few fives and when I am teaching them something, they're the person that stays up all night googling every single thing about it to make sure that they understand it. They focus on acute accumulating information, almost like hoarding information about subjects that interest them and manage their time and energy, which they, their biggest fear is that their energy is going to be depleted. So that's kind of why they can become more withdrawn. That's kind of why they hoard information, because they want to keep this in the reserve in case they need it. And you know, they manage their time and energy and hoard it to avoid entanglements with others.

Fives live like more than any type on the Enneagram. They live in their head and habitually detach from their emotions. They're sensitive to emotional demands being placed on them. So you have to be careful. When I'm working with a 5, I have to be very, very careful because as an 8, I'm like about 10 times more intense than I think I am. And when dealing with a five, that can shut them down if I'm not careful. So that's why it's really important that I know who I'm talking to. They have a narrow range of feeling and almost never show their emotions in public. Like I said, fives can be more withdrawn and reserved and introverted. They need a lot of time alone and avoid interactions with people who they fear might deplete them. So they become very analytical and objective. When they're not so healthy, they can pretty much start playing Judge Judy and pretty much judging everyone as A way to protect themselves from their energy being depleted. But they are the Google junkies for sure.

Like I said, their hang ups are pretty much the hoarding. The hoarding and holding back and holding in. They hoard time, space, resources out of fear of impending impoverishment. It's not greediness, it's more retentiveness that they have a drive to hold on to what they already have rather than a drive to acquire more. So they're always feeling like they don't necessarily. It's why a lot of them struggle, because they don't necessarily want more. They're afraid if they go out and try to achieve more, sometimes they can lose what they already have. So this is where they can kind of fall into self sabotage and. But fives, oh my goodness, the Wisdom in a 5. When they know that they don't have to hoard all their information, they can become some of the greatest teachers of all time. I love my fives for sure.

And the last type, this is the one, this is the type that made me willing to take a deeper look at the enneagram. Because the of type, the last type I'm going to tell you about is the seven and they are called the enthusiast.

Or the individualist. And my daughter is this. And as a mother of a daughter and I knew how I grew up and from the day my daughter was born I knew we could not be more different. She had this free spirit about her. She had this like go with the flow kind of energy about her from the day, like even in utero I knew she was like this. And I was terrified because I didn't know how to operate with somebody like that. I really didn't. And the last thing I wanted to do was squash that beautiful free spirit. And I didn't want to judge it as weak or flaky or any of the things that I had, you know, stereotyped those types of people before. I knew that God was teaching me something and giving me an enthusiast as my firstborn and as a daughter. And it was because I wanted to understand how to communicate with her, to really help her and empower her in her God given gifts, which I knew were completely opposite of mine. And so it was her. She is the one responsible for making me willing to really look at this. So sevens avoid unpleasant feelings by focusing on what feels pleasant. So they can kind of be avoiders at times when they're want to not deal with it. They keep the mood upbeat to the point of reframing negatives into positives. So as a 3 realist or as a 8 realist and a challenger, When I see people kind of deflect, it frustrates me. But I realize that that's actually a gift of theirs. It's, they're always seeing the cup as half full. They have a fear of being trapped in discomfort. So that fuels quick thinking, creative problem solving. So this is what some of the strengths are. My daughter is one of the quickest social thinkers I've ever seen in my life. And they can create, they have creative problem solving techniques that are outside of my scope for sure. And they focus on positive future possibilities so they can become great visionaries as long as they can hone in on that energy of theirs. Sevens have quick synthesizing minds with which they find links between, you know, commonalities in different subjects, making rapid, rapid mental associations. Emotionally, Sevens like feeling happy or joyful and they dislike feeling fear, anxiety, sadness, boredom, pain and discomfort. So, you know, back seven years ago when I was exploring the Enneagram, I was recognizing my daughter as an escapist. She would avoid feelings at all costs. And I knew that that had a lot to do with the environment that we, that I had created. And I didn't want that for her. And so when she could get into a healthier state as the enthusiast and really not be so fearful of the maybe not so positive emotions and learn how to deal with those, that's when I saw her growth really take off. Their attitude is why feel pain if you can feel happy instead? But you and I both know that we must have contrast. If you have never seen the movie, it's a kid's movie inside out. I highly recommend it because I think for so many of us we avoid feeling pain or fear. But in order to feel all the emotions like joy and true contentment, we have to have contrast. So Sevens, the enthusiasts, are energetic and fast paced, innovative and active. They usually have many interests and activities which they pursue boldly with a lot of enthusiasm. They like planning for fun and maintaining many options so they can keep their mood up and even shift to the most pleasant option if one plan becomes not so great. Their hang up is gluttony, like they can't get enough. So they can have this insatiable desire for fun, insatiable desire for feel good feelings. Sometimes they can become addicts when they go really off the spectrum into the unhealthy spot. But they have a passion for pleasure and a desire for more, which can be really, really good. They can move the needle quickly, especially if they Surround themselves with, you know, the other types that have strengths in the areas where they can kind of lack focus from time to time, but they bring the fun factor. And I'm sure you would all agree that the world needs a lot more love and fun. And the enthusiasts, I will always be forever thankful for my enthusiast because what I have learned as a result of the Enneagram is so powerful because of her. So there are way more moving parts to the Enneagram. We have things like. Like I said at the beginning, I just talked about the basic nine types of when there's actually 27, because there's things. There's three subtypes for each personality. These are the three basic instinctual and passion goals, which can fall into the lines of self preservation, a social instinct, or a one to one, or sometimes called the sexual instinct, which is like an intimacy instinct. And so each type that I just talked about, one of those subtypes falls into it. So that's why you can have two 8s right next to each other. And they can look totally different based on subtypes levels of health, which is, you know, another way that this is all expressed. So I get asked a lot, can we have more than one type? And the answer is no. You have a core desire, a core motivator, a core fear. And then how that's expressed can look like other types. And that's why the Enneagram isn't just based on behaviors. Because if we looked at behaviors, I mean, there was time in my life actually that as a child, I resembled the peacemaker on the unhealthy spectrum. I became that chameleon. Like I said, we talked about triads. There are things called wings. So on either side of your core number is a number on each side. And sometimes I like to call these, like salt and pepper. Sometimes we use more salt than pepper, sometimes more pepper than salt. And these are creative ways that we can express our core type, sometimes depending on the situations, environments.

Whatever that looks like. I know for me, I never as a child resided in my seven wing. So as an eight, seven is next to me. As I've gotten healthier, I'm able to tap into that more free spirited, fun loving, go with the flow kind of part of me. But as a child, I never did. As a child, I winged more to my nine. So wings can change how we express. If you're into the horoscope, like that rising sign, similar to how like a wing kind of acts in our personality. Some people don't wing at all. Usually we Have a wing that's more dominant. As I get more healthy, I see that I can bounce between the two in all their healthy states. Like I said, we have subtypes. There's something if we want to go down the deep dark hole of the Enneagram called tri types, which are based on the head, the heart and the body. You know, we have one that we.

Rely on most. It's our go to, but we obviously use all three. And so how the tri types play out, I'll end up doing it a whole probably podcast on just that. And then there's the arrows where we go in stress and where we go in growth. And this was the aha moment for me in looking at the types of my children. So when my son was a 2, because my son is a 2, where he goes under stress. Stress is the unhealthy portions of who I am. His arrow goes towards the challenger. And the unhealthy parts of who I am are like the anger, the defensive, you know, that intense. And of course that triggered me and I would view that as disrespectful sometimes. And now when I start to see him go under stress, like I can recognize when he's going into stress and instead of being judgmental of it or taking it personal, I can lean into compassion and help him pivot out of that really quickly. Equally, we all have somewhere we go in growth, we take on the healthier traits of one of the other types. And so that's why a lot of times when I'm coaching somebody on their type or if they've taken an online test and I'm here to tell you guys, if you've taken an online test, chances are it probably isn't accurate. That's why it's really cool to talk to somebody who's very skilled in this, like myself, if I am saying so. Because imagine you are trying to head a destination and you keep putting in the wrong coordinates. You're going to be detoured left and right and it's going to be a lot harder to get where you want to go. Whereas if you have the right type with the right map with the right coordinates, doesn't mean you're not going to go off roading from time to time or take a scenic route, but it's going to be by your choice a lot of times and you're going to see it happening and you're going to be able to immediately pivot back onto the right road. If you've ever been driving down the highway and you're kind of just like in a zone, you've got like the good music and the windows roll down and you're kind of just like on autopilot. And the next thing you know you're hitting those little bumpy things on the side of the road and it, you know, makes that noise like bump, bump, bump, bump. And you're like, oh my God. And you immediately pivot the enneagram when you have the right type and the right coordinates for you. When you get off track a little bit, you're going to feel those bumpy things on the side of your road really quickly and you're going to be able to pivot a lot faster.

We all have the healthy side and we all have the not so healthy side. And I want you to know, as bright as you shine, that will always create a shadow. And in that shadow is where our blind spots lie. And so the more information you can have about yourself first and understanding where your blind spots are and then being very mindful of who you surround yourself with, especially if you have, you know, a healthy environment and healthy friends and, and people that care about your greatest good, you're going to be able to see your blind spots through the help of others and your own inner wisdom based on this roadmap that will help you quit the self sabotage a lot faster, which you won't beat yourself up over and over and over. You'll actually have a beautiful understanding about why things are or why they have been the way that they have. And it's so beautiful. When I catch myself going into my unhealthier patterns, I can catch it right away. And instead of really beating the shit out of myself, which I did for many, many decades, instead I can ask myself, okay, what's happening around me? What is causing me stress right now? What is this similar to? How is this familiar? And what are some compassionate, effective actions I can take to move towards growth? And you know, when you aren't so emotionally attached to that and it's just like inner wisdom, I always say you got to have this super high involvement of who you are, but a very low attachment to how that looks sometimes. And so even when I go down a dark hole, which happens from time to time, I don't care who you are, you always have these shadow sides that will come and try and you know, because they were developed early on to keep you safe. But when you can recognize that and really find that inner wisdom to let your inner self know that we're safe and we're okay. And I know this feels really scary, but this isn't that. And it allows you to shine your light on the world like you always, always wanted to. I know that you were here. You have a calling on your life. You are here from, for a greater purpose. I know that you feel it. I see you guys talking about, you know, this calling on your life, this purpose. You know that all the things you've been through had to mean and matter for something. And the quickest way to tap into all those things that matter is to really get to the root of who you are. And once you get to the root of who you are, you're really able to move the needle and help others move their needle a lot faster.

So every Tuesday I'm going to be doing enneattalk Tuesday. I'm going to tap into all different parts of the enneagram and all the different, you know, it's very complex and very fun. It becomes addicting after a while, which, you know, if I'm being really honest, is part of my personality type anyway. But you know, it's. It's something that with this knowledge, it can be used for a beautiful, beautiful, greater good. So some of the areas that I used it in, obviously it started in my family. And when I saw it move the needle so quickly in my own family, I brought it into my business life. And especially when I was building my network marketing business in the early days. And I didn't have much of a social network. In fact, if you listen to my previous episodes, you know that I had taken my, my social network down to zero. So I knew that I was gonna have to leverage every single human being that I talked to. And I don't mean that in a manipulative way, but I needed to speak each person's language, each types language about what was in it for them. I knew to speak to their core desires and their core motivators based on trying to figure out what their enneagram type was. And by then I'd had a good six or seven months under my belt of it. And so I was becoming more familiar with each type. And that was how I was able to bring out the best in every single person I talked to. Which resulted in tremendous success, not just for me, but for every single person that I worked with. And that's how when people look at me, they're like, you see through me and you help me move the needle faster than 10 years of therapy. I've heard that several times. And it's because I am able to really tap into what's in it for you all the time. So this is super helpful in your families. If you are raising kids, I highly recommend you understand who you are and then understand your spouse and partners and your children and even in navigating health issues and health crisises, understanding my type, my core motivators and core fears and desires. It made perfect sense in some ways why I was having the health issues that I was and how I could course correct and really get to a place of understanding my own body as well. So lots of we will have a plethora of topics on the Enneagram. I know so many of you are into it. I would love if you are listening right now, take a little screenshot. Take a little screenshot of this podcast and I would love for you to share what you got out of this, what you love about this, what you want to learn more about on the Enneagram. I could talk about this 247 just a little warning. So every Tuesdays will be Ennea Talk Tuesdays where I bring new information on how you can use the Enneagram to move the needle in your life, whether it's in your personal relationships or even in order to make a lot more money. So if you are wanting to know more information about your type, even if you've already taken the type or the typing test, like I said, most of those online tests are inaccurate. Pretty much 75% of the individual Enneagram typing sessions I've taken, even with the paid test, about 75% of them were wrong and it made sense. And once we were able to get the right type, they could really move the needle forward. So if you are wanting more information on how to do a typing session with me, you can go to tracyomalley.com and click on the Work with Me tab and there's a bunch of different options there. We can have a lot of fun. It's very eye opening and lots of aha moments. And most importantly, you're going to have a new level of love and compassion for how courageous and strong you have been your entire life. And you know what will happen when you have compassion for yourself. You are able to have compassion for others. And quite honestly, the Enneagram was probably the very first tool in my toolbox that allowed me to become bulletproof. It allows me to communicate with anybody and not be afraid of anybody at all. I can speak to anyone and that is a skill set I think that we have lost in the age that we live in today. So like I said, if you found this helpful Please, please please share this. It would mean the world to me if you went over to itunes and gave us a beautiful review. It's how we will get this message out to many, many, many that need it. You can find me on Instagram tracyomalley. I answer all of my DMs so if you have questions, questions or comments or even if you think I'm full of shit, you can go ahead and talk to me there. I am so grateful for you. Thank you for allowing me to be part of your journey and until next time, I'll talk to you soon.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tag me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profit and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life.

And do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.