07: The Method to Dramatically Increase Your Self-Confidence with Alison Lumbatis (Enneagram 5)

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up, let's go.

Hello and welcome to this episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And I am not sure I've been more excited for an interview. I had the pleasure of meeting this amazing woman a couple months back. She was a guest speaker at a Mastermind I'm in. And for those of you that know me, you know, I'm the constant student and I'm always meeting new people and it takes a lot for me to be impressed. And I remember sitting there just watching her and I learned more in an hour from her than I have in probably a couple years of some high level educators in my presence. And what I was most drawn to was just this very much ease. And you could just tell she was just authentic as can be. And she happened to drop something about the Enneagram, which excited me and that perked my interest too. Anybody that speaks my language, I'm like, ah, I feel you. That's why we're connecting. There's another reason. But she started her business seven years ago and I think it was the year that she started her business that also I was like, I was supposed to meet her because it was in 2012 that she had this kind of like turning point in her life. We're about the same age, we have kids the same age. And I was like, okay, I'm here to learn from this beautiful wisdom Walker. And she started a business out of a need that she needed, right? She had, I believe she was just laid off from an engineering job. And so she was doing consulting and working from home. And I know most of you that are listening right now are sitting in your Lululemon yoga pants right now and you love that. And you also, there are many days, it's like, when was the last time I wore something different? And she noticed something that she wasn't as productive. She wasn't feeling as inspired, all the things. And so she just noticed one little switch that she needed to make that just brought a whole new energy to the day and that built this multimillion dollar business called get yout Pretty On. And you guys know that I make fun of my, like, not a fashion blogger, like, sense that I have. I am definitely not a fashion blogger or a fashion icon by any means. But there is something to be said when we get ready for our day, and she has brought that to tens of thousands of women that it isn't just about what we put on our body. It becomes this total transformation. And the service that she brings to people all over the world. And I can't wait for you to listen to her and her story of resilience and resourcefulness and just serving at levels that I think is so lost today. You know, everything's so damn automated and funnels and things like that. And the service that she provides and is definitely first class. So with that, I am going to introduce you to Allison Lombardis. She's from Dallas, Texas. And. Hello.

Hello. And thank you for that extremely beautiful and humbling introduction. I just have to say, when I was at the speaking engagement and you were asking questions, I felt that gut connection with you immediately. Like, I knew you were one of my people. So it was a mutual feeling, for sure.

I love that. Thank you. I'm just so grateful that I met you for many, many, many, many, many reasons. And we both love leopard print, FYI.

And we were wearing it probably before it was so trendy.

Absolutely.

I think I shared with you that it was actually my 1990 prom dress was all leopard at a time that everybody's wearing the Southern belle gowns.

So you were definitely ahead of the curve on that.

Definitely was a fashion bl 1990s. So there's that. So you grew up in a small town in Pennsylvania, Right? Am I right? Very, very small town. And, like, how does Allison, who, by the way, she's an enneagram5. And for those of you that know, the Enneagram Fives generally aren't this outspoken, public kind of Persona. And so for her to end up, you know, as the face of her company and speaking so beautifully, that's not typical enneagram5 behaviors. Right, right. But where that was birthed, I believe was back in Pennsylvania and your environment. Right. Like, you were always this investigator, inquisitive, needing to know why things are the way they are. I believe that about you. Just even how you Speak about business. But how it got expressed as a child was probably based on the environment you grew up in. Is that accurate?

Yeah, I think so. And I think that, you know, based on the environment, I didn't really get to explore who I was and what my personality was, because I felt like I was more or less trying to be what I. What other people around me wanted me to be. And I don't think that I really got to explore my Fiveness until the day that I stumbled across the Enneagram. And I read the descriptions and I realized that I was a five. And I think I shared this with you before that. I just started sobb because I really felt seen for the first time ever. And I didn't feel like I was wrong anymore for being the way that I was. Everything just connected so beautifully, and everything made sense to me whenever I realized it. I mean, it seems like such a small thing that would be so insignificant. Yet just having that realization and that validation of who I was and why it was that way was the key to unlocking so many other good things in my life, too.

So before we get into how you found out about the Enneagram, what was it like to be as a kid? Because I. What you just said is so.

True to who I was. Like, I had no idea that this 8ness of myself was there. I knew it was there, but I could never, like, never express it. No way. It was unsafe to express it. And so I lived in probably my wing. But I remember when I first read it, too, I did this. I had the exact same kind of reaction. I sobbed because I was like, it all of a sudden made perfect sense. It's not some trendy, cutesy little test that we take online and then wear a type as a badge of honor. It just. It's a roadmap to put the pieces together, right?

Absolutely.

So when. When you felt seen and heard for the first time, probably in a long time, I'm assuming that growing up, you pretty much didn't feel that at all.

No, not really. I mean, I was the youngest of three girls, and.

As a child of the 70s and 80s, parenting was a lot different than it is even today. But I think that being raised in an unhealthy and dysfunctional environment. My dad was an alcoholic. And, you know, having that on top of everything else just really affected my personality in a lot of ways. I was painfully shy growing up. I didn't really feel like I had an identity because my identity. Identity was really formed again around what do other people want me to be or if I'm this perfect person and I never get in trouble, then you know, I can fly under the radar here. Or if I get really good grades, then I'm not, you know, I'm going to please my parents or I'm going to be able to get something from them. And I think it was, you know, just that striving to get something from people that weren't even capable of giving. It was the theme of my childhood was just, you know, really other focused rather than self focused. And you know, most kids are forming their identity around or by the age of 15, but when you're so others focused, you're not getting the opportunity to do that. So I don't think I really started to identify with who I truly was until probably my mid-20s and into my early 30s. And it's just been a journey and everyday learning and discovering new things honestly ever since that time.

So you and I are both younger moms then and I think that like I was about the same age, I was 28 when I was like holy crap, I cannot outrun what I grew up in because I don't know another. Even though I knew I didn't want to be like that or have that reproduced in my own family, you know, we go back to what we know and what's comfortable and you know, we hear the cliche, you know, home is where your heart is. And even though both of our homes were probably very, very similar. You're right. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, it's very, very different than it is today. You have to be resourceful. But I remember looking in the eyes of my 4 year old at the time and realizing if I don't repair this, I'm going to repeat this. And I didn't want that. And so that was my, that was 19 years ago. My first journey of like holy shit moment. Like I need to figure, I need to understand this at a deeper level. Were that, was there a turning point for you or just wisdom of age progression or was there any. I know that you have children and that'll usually spark like oh, okay, I don't know how to do this. What was it for you that made you learn more about you and not repeating what you grew up with?

You know, honestly I think it was pain. And when we get to a deep, deep level of pain and we can't figure our way out of it, you know, we have a few options, then we can self medicate, which is unhealthy. There are plenty of unhealthy options for dealing with pain. But I knew that that wasn't the path that I wanted to go down. And yes, definitely having kids and knowing that I had the power to change the patterns and seeing that there was actually hope in this situation, I just. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something. So my. I started in therapy. And honestly, that's what's changed my life. I have been in and out of therapy my entire life. Just went back in this year because I feel like there's always something that, you know, even when you get to 80%, you know, there's still that last 20% that you can finish off. And I kind of feel like that's where I'm at in my life right now. But honestly, it was just really getting to a very, very dark and painful place where I knew I didn't have the answers. And I knew that if I continued down this path, it would lead to unhealthy and dysfunctional behaviors. And those were the things that I didn't want to pass on to my kids. And I was a young mom, too. So, you know, I was a single mom for a couple years. I ended up getting married to my husband, who I'm still with. We've been married for 20 years. And I just wanted that stable home life for my kids and wanted to create that for them because that's something that I didn't have for myself.

I love that. And that was a big motivation for mine, too. I didn't end up staying married. But, you know, we can change. We can change things. And the legacy that's left after that.

What was the.

If you don't mind sharing, what was the pain that you were in that you knew? I've been in therapy in and out my whole life. Just started again this year as well. What was the pain that was the catalyst for you taking the deeper dive?

It was depression, for sure. You know, the anger turned inward, it becomes depression, and then it was anger. Sometimes when I would turn it outward, I didn't understand why. It was inappropriate amounts of anger over things that were just resentments that I had pushed down for a really long time. And it was affecting the good relationships in my life, not just the people that I was still struggling to relate with from my childhood, but it was affecting my marriage. And I think that that was the biggest eye opener for me is like, this guy doesn't deserve me to be taking these things out on him, that I'm dragging all this stuff with me and I'm projecting it onto him and it wasn't fair. And so I knew that as far as the depression was concerned, as far as the marital issues were concerned, the only thing that made sense to me at that point was therapy. Although it scared me, it's never easy to go in there. And, you know, you have to be willing to tear off the scab and clean out the wound. And it's not. It's messy and it's ugly and it's painful. And there were weeks, I just really did not want to go back and talk about it anymore, but I just stuck with it and kept going. And progress was slow. Two steps forward, one step back. But it started to happen. And that's when I realized, once you have hope, you can honestly change any situation, but you have to have the hope there in order to do it.

I commend you for doing that work and being humbled enough to say, okay, I need to learn something different. And as an enneagram 5, you're probably the most introverted type naturally on the Enneagram. And so for you to raise your hand and say, hey, guess what? I need some information, I need some help here. But I also know that the basic fear and the basic desire of your type and your personality is to not be. To be incompetent, to be incapable. And so going to therapy will act. Even though it's scary and awkward and all the things, it is probably exactly what you needed to be able to express yourself too. And I'm sure that that's helped in how you're able to express yourself today. But before you started in what you're doing now, you were. When you told me what your career was before, I wasn't surprised. Like, to be an engineer and an enneagram 5 makes total sense. But how did you end up as an engineer? Was it telecom?

Yes. Yes. So I accidentally stumbled into telecom. Honestly, I moved to Dallas right after I graduated from college. I grew up in Pennsylvania and It was the 90s. The.com boom was happening and I, with a psychology degree, was hired by a telephone company and trained as an engineer. At the time it was a startup, was very fast paced. I had to learn extremely fast. And I found that it was something that I could pick up really quickly and be really competent at. So I left that startup, went into working for a bigger company. I ended up ending my career at Verizon, which was MCI, whenever I went into the company, then WorldCom, then Verizon. But I spent 14 years as an engineer and Although it was something that I did well in, and it afforded me so many opportunities, and I learned so much that I'm still using today. I always felt like the square peg in the round hole. I knew that there was something more that I was supposed to be doing, and I was frustrated with that, but I never knew what that something was. When I was 15 years old, I felt called that my life was supposed to be about helping women. And I was frustrated for so many years, feeling like I just was not living into that calling and that purpose. And I think that that was the hardest part of it, was just knowing that I was meant to be doing more than what I was doing at the time. But the timing was the thing I was waiting for, and it just wasn't there yet.

Oh, my gosh. I just got goosebumps all over, as you said that, because I thought our lives were pretty parallel before, and they certainly are more the more that you speak. My ex husband actually was part of that dot com, and he got hired on at World, and ironically, like, he got laid off too. And that's how I ended up in entrepreneurship, because we had a decision to make. Either we roll the dice and hopefully get a job somewhere else in a country or in a state that we don't want to be in, or do we put our money on ourselves and do something different? And then what you said about at 15, you knew that there was something for you to do. And mine was about 10 years old. And I remember hearing Oprah for the first time. Before the World had Oprah, Chicago did, which is where I grew up. And I remember listening to her and saying, well, you know, the pain that she's experienced mattered for something much bigger. And she's using that to help people. And Even at that 10, 11 years of age, I knew that all the pain and the things that I was experiencing in a really toxic environment was gonna matter for something. I didn't know what. And I knew that my calling was to help women one day too. And I. And I, too, ended up in a career that I was really good at. Like, really good at, but couldn't stand it. Um, so I love hearing that. So, you know, when we get comfortable, though, and we're good at something, it's hard to walk away and say, okay, what's next? And that. That kind of was a blessing in disguise when you got laid off. Correct. Or got a severance package.

I got a severance package, yes. So it was kind of one of those things where the writing was on the wall. I wasn't even team of 20 engineers. I was working in the landline side of the business. I was managing networks in Europe. But my team of 20 went down to two, and I was one of the last two standing. So I was presented with the opportunity to go and train in a completely different area that I had no experience in or take the severance package. And at that point, I had been blogging for about six months. So I took the severance package. It was six months severance, which I stretched into a year, and decided that I was going to go all in and see what happened with this other thing. And it was the scariest year of my life. I am not going to lie. Every single day I would wake up and think, oh, my gosh, it'd just be easier to go back into corporate. I just, I can just go get a job tomorrow. I don't need to do this. Why am I doing this? But I just knew something in my gut was telling me that I was meant. Even though I wasn't seeing results yet, I was meant to stay on the path that I was on.

And that was 2012.

Yes.

And that was my scariest year of my life as well. And like, the parallel there, like, I didn't quite get a severance package when I kind of walked away from my corporate job. My dad had passed away and of that year, and it was kind of like this reality check of how short life is. And, you know, I obviously didn't have the healthiest coping mechanisms at the time. And so the severance I took was like little chunk of what he had left behind for me and take six months. So funny that you said six months to really figure out what the calling was. And I called 2012 the year of, like the rebuild of who Tracy was and who Alison was. So when you were blogging while you were still an engineer, what were you blogging about?

I was blogging about style. And the funny thing was that I'm not a stylist. I've never really been drawn to style. But when I got the opportunity to work from home as an engineer, which is what happened, I want to say about a year before I took the severance package, I realized that I wasn't getting dressed anymore because all of my clothes in my closet were from the corporate past life I had, you know, pencil skirts, blouses, high heels. Nothing that worked for working from home. So I'd wake up in the morning, throw on the yoga pants, not do yoga, not work out.

And then I started to feel like crap. Just to be totally honest. And I couldn't figure out why things were. It wasn't just my appearance. Like, I wasn't putting on makeup or fixing my hair either. But things like my motivation were being affected. And I wasn't cooking as healthy meals, and I wasn't working out. And it's sort of like this snowball effect where I call it my yoga pants rut. But I think it was something deeper than that. It felt like very similar to the depression that I had been through years before that. And I just. As an enneagram 5, I started researching and, you know, questioning myself and saying, what can I do? How can I make this better? What's something immediate that I can do to feel better? So that very next morning, after I had this conversation with myself, I realized that the one thing I could do was get dressed. Like, that was one tangible thing that I could do was put on real clothes, fix my hair, put on makeup, and start my day that way. And so I did that first day, and I was just amazed at how much better I felt. Just these simple changes happening. And when I picked my daughter up at school that afternoon, and she looked at me and she said, mommy, what happened to you? And I said, what? And she said, well, you look pretty today. And honestly, I think that was the turning point for me because I never realized it wasn't just affecting me as a mom. I think we have to sometimes see that things are affecting our families in order for it to really become an issue for us. And that's what happened. I saw that for the first time. And from that day forward, I realized that I didn't want to slide back into that again. So I started blogging, which I knew nothing about, but I figured this was a way that I'd have built in accountability for getting dressed every day. I could start sharing what I was learning on this journey. And if nobody ever read it, it was fine. But I at least wanted something there to keep me accountable, to continue to get dressed on a daily basis. And it was also a creative outlet for me, and I really, really enjoyed it. And it was something I was doing just for me at that time.

Oh, my gosh. I know so many listening right now are in the yoga pant rut, but they're afraid to say it right. They're kind of like putting the mask on. Like, yeah, it's this great entrepreneur life. Work from anywhere. Work from the beach, Bali and butterflies and yoga pants and all the things. And you're exactly right. You know, I put makeup on every day. Not because I think I look bad without it. I don't. I look great without makeup. But there's something about the transition of I'm doing this for me, this feels good. I feel awake and I feel alive. And it does make a difference. It really, really does.

Absolutely. 100%.

And so like the service you provide in get yout Pretty on and all the things like that, if you're listening right now and you know you're in that yoga pant rut and you're like one degree away from like going to the dark side, like, just listen up. This is way more than cute cheetah print shirts and, you know, fun belts. This is like, this is doing something to honor yourself every day. I know that you talk about self care as like something that you can't outsource or, or do something, you know, pay somebody to do for you. This is like an honoring process. And, and I have. This is one of the things that I do, like is getting dressed, putting the makeup on. And it does make all the world a difference. And you're 100% right. It does affect a lot more than just our physical self and our emotional stuff. It does trickle into every person we touch. And especially for moms. And we're teaching them, we're teaching them how to show up in the world. And doesn't mean we have to be wearing the pencil skirts and 6 inch heels to be like a boss babe or anything like that or all those silly words that are thrown around like just showing up and honoring yourself enough to, you know, feel good.

Right, Exactly. Yes. It touches so many areas of our lives. And honestly, at the end of the day too, it affects our confidence and how we show up in the world. So.

So you get the severance package to decide to put your money on you. Which is scary because it would be way easier to just get a corporate job and punch a clock. Trust me, I know, because I face that as well. And especially when you're good at what you do, which I have no doubt you were a legend.

So now you're at home being the official full time blogger. And where does that transition into this community of you serving tens of thousands of women on not just to get up every day to feel confident and get dressed, but now what I love the most about you.

Aside from all these other things, but one of the things I love about what you do is you're not encouraging people to just aimlessly go shop their butts off or, you know, throw up affiliate links where you get like tons of money just for the masses. Like you actually want to provide a service where have these staples for this season and you take them through seasons, but you actually have people saving money on clothes shopping, which I freaking love. You have people buy what works for them, right, and their life. And so how did you go from part time blogger engineer to full time blogger? Holy crap moment. Like now how do I make this a business?

So I had about three months of severance left in the bank and I was having the holy crap moment because nothing was happening yet. I did have loose business model with the blog where I could possibly make a little bit of money. It was mainly through affiliate links. And I knew early on in blogging that that wasn't going to suit me. I actually had a blogger tell me at that time that I was never going to make it if I wasn't constantly posting new clothes. But that was not sustainable or practical for me. I was laid off from my job. I couldn't go out and buy new clothes all the time. And it just wasn't the way I dressed, it wasn't the way I operated. I had pieces in my closet that I loved and I was happy to rewear those over and over again. But I also knew if I was showing up in that way on the blog in these clothes that I was rewearing, that I wouldn't make money because I wasn't constantly putting new things out there or pushing the consumerism or telling women, you need to have this or buy this or whatever. So it was a really tough time for me to come to that realization that I love doing this, I am teaching something valuable, but I'm also making no money at all. And that's when I sent out my first reader survey. Because by that point in time, my traffic on the blog had grown really organically. I had around 50 page views per month, but I wasn't making any money. The people were there. So I went to them and said, hey, if I could do something for you that would make it easier for you to get dressed every day, what would that be? And I got tons of responses back. And the main piece of overlap in that was please just give me a shopping list, tell me what to go out and buy at the store, and then tell me what trends are coming up each season. So I know you know how to update the pieces in my closet. So I thought, I can do that, I can create that list. I already have that list. Those are the pieces hanging in my closet. And then all I have to do is throw in some Seasonal trends. So I started working on it. And then as I was working through this list and came up with it, I thought to myself, what good is this list if I'm not actually showing women how to mix and match the pieces on it to create outfits from it? So I took it a step further. I inadvertently created a capsule wardrobe, which I didn't even know what a capsule wardrobe was at the time, silly.

I had somebody, oh, my gosh, you.

Made a capsule wardrobe? And I was like, what is that? And immediately I researched it, of course, right? But, yes, I launched the product.

I was so scared, I charged $10 for it. My first program that I created cobbled together a bunch of systems on the back end with PayPal and WordPress and all the stuff to deliver it. And I thought, I'll never forget the day I published the blog post about it. I was, like, so scared. Oh, my gosh, I'm charging them for something. Nobody's gonna buy this thing. And I thought, if 50 women sign up for this, it is totally worth the time I put into it. 500 women signed up right out of the gate. And that was the moment I knew that I had an actual functioning business and that I wasn't gonna go broke. And I can actually make a go of this.

I want you guys to listen right now to what she said. She was giving service, adding value.

Pouring her heart into what she knew she needed. And because she was speaking. I mean, when you heard that woman or whoever said that to you, you'll never make any money unless you do it this way. You had two choices. Either you conform and put yourself in debt trying to do that. And that's not even, like, as a five. That is so not your natural strength anyway. Like, that would. That wouldn't have been sustainable even if you could afford it, because it wasn't true to who you were. Because you like. One of the things about you that I love so much is that when you speak, you know, there's nothing but truth and wisdom and a genuineness. And I think through your blogging, people knew that. I mean, we can read through bullshit million miles away, most of us, right? And for months and months and months, you know, you had been providing so much value to people, asking nothing in return. And when you were like, I can help solve a problem. I just need to know what you need to know, right? And then you did that, and you had the choice. Either I blaze my own trail, or I conform and do something that will be a short stint, maybe some money in the bank. But at the end of the day, I'm going to end up back in corporate America if I go that route and I'll be miserable.

Exactly. Yes. Yeah.

So you have 5,000 or 500 women right out of the gates show up. So I know one of the things that I was so impressed when you were teaching us when I met you was you're constantly, constantly asking the people that trust you how you can serve them. And you know, for seven years now you've been doing this as a business. And so how has that evolved into, you know, and I know there's a lot of people listening right now that think they have to have like a gazillion followers and this. And the other thing that I do love is that you've built a solid multiple seven figure business with not the communities that most people would think they need to do what you've done. And it's because it's driven by service and heart and integrity. And so you've evolved it even in the last year and a half, specifically. Right. It's like absolutely exploded. So how does that happen and how do you navigate that? And as a five, you don't really like to have many people in your energy space, but to do what you've done, you've had to hire people in, you've had to relinquish some of the reins and control over certain aspects of it so that you can do what you're best at.

Right, right, exactly.

So how do you navigate that?

It's hard. Honestly, I think this is the year that I've really relinquished so much control and got out of my own way. And seeing how things have evolved so beautifully has been just, oh my gosh, just incredibly validating that this was the right thing to do and what the next step is like. I've been the bottleneck in growth. I've been the one holding things back. And when I'm willing to let that go to somebody else, I'm giving them the gift of doing it even better than I can do it. So, you know, absolutely. Delegation this year has been key. I have six women on my team who are just, I couldn't ask for a better team. Just around me, they support me in so many different ways. But you know, you mentioned with the customer surveys and tweaking and, you know, I started out that way and that's been something that we have just continued on a regular basis several times a year. Honestly, like, I take my customers feedback and they know that when they give me feedback, most of the time I'M going to implement that for them. We've created a culture that's very customer driven, and I just want to be able to pack as much value and service into that $39 transaction. The women that I work with don't have big budgets, and that's why they're coming to me. They can't afford to hire a personal stylist, 150 bucks an hour to come in and shop your closet for you, and that's how they're finding me. So whenever they exchange that money with me, I don't take that lightly. I've been in that position. I understand where they're coming from when all your money's going to your kids and all of these other commitments, and the last thing that you save money for is yourself. So I just really want them to feel like they're getting as much as possible for that. And I've had people through the years, even business coaches, who've said, you need to charge more, you need to be doing this. I'm like, no, I don't want to charge more. I want more women to have this gift and to make more impact in that way than I do by having high dollar product. There's nothing wrong with high dollar products, and there are definitely markets out there for them, But I feel like this is what works for my audience. And if I just continue to involve them in the process, to ask them what they want, to have them really just work alongside me to create the product, then I know that I can serve them really, really well in that way.

Well, I don't know if anybody else needed to hear that, but I know I certainly did. Like, you just hit me square between the eyes with, you know, I'm the bottleneck in my own growth. And, you know, the advice that is so loosely given out there, that doesn't feel right. And well, for personally, I just want to thank you for that little rant of two minutes of just wisdom bombs like that you just laid down. Like, if they're listening, if you're listening and got nothing else but the last two minutes. Like, make a note of this last two minutes, because that was just gold what you just laid on us. So thank you for that. And that was what touched me so much when I met you, is just that heart to do what's right.

For so many. And doing what's right doesn't mean you have to charge people an arm and a leg necessarily. And you can still deliver the value and still make multiple millions of dollars. Which takes me to, like, the the other part of your business that I love so much, it's one thing that Alison's legacy is making a lot of money, and you're helping a lot of women, you know, feel better and confident every day. But there's this other piece about your business and, you know, helping women in Haiti not just be tradesmen and make jewelry for your other company that you share with your daughter.

Called Alison and Aubrey Witch. By the way, that stuff's so cute. We'll get to that in a second. But I love the fact that, you know, you've not only incorporated this.

Piece of helping women on the other part of the world not just create jewelry and be the labor part of the jewelry and the stuff that you guys put together, but you're actually teaching them how to run and build a business as well.

How did that come about, and why did you pick that to do?

Most of the good ideas that come to me come from my community and also hiring.

Hiring tip here. The best employees that have come to me have come through my community. But there was a woman in my community who works with a nonprofit in Haiti, and they're working to help these girls who are orphans from the ages of nine to four, I'm sorry, 14 to 19, who are, you know, Haiti is not a country where orphaned young women really have a lot of opportunities. It's very misogynistic. And, you know, most girls getting married and, you know, the men make the money and they don't have opportunities like we have. So this really, the story just really touched me, and I said, I want to be involved in this. I have to help out with this in whatever way you guys need me to. And initially, they wanted me to come in to help the girls identify trends so that the pieces of jewelry that they were making would be marketable. Not, you know, sometimes we see, you know, fair trade products or products like this that just aren't very marketable, that people are buying just because of the cause behind it, not because it's something they actually want to use or wear. So I really saw an opportunity here for us to create something different and also be able to show the girls, like, teach them about profit margins and teach them about how to run an online business, because as long as you have Internet service, you can do that from anywhere in the world. Like, you and I know that we can go basically anywhere as long as we have access to the Internet and be able to do that. So, you know, we are partnering with jewelry designers to be able to give them video training and providing Them with the components to make the jewelry and helping them in the design process, but also on the back end of that, just really giving them solid business knowledge. And that's something that they can take everywhere, whether it's in the jewelry business or they decide to go off and do something on their own, but just empowering them with that knowledge that they, you know, just having. Being able to be an entrepreneur just opens so many doors for them. And I'm just. I haven't been as passionate about something in a really long time as I am about helping these girls and seeing where this goes. It's in its infancy right now, but I'm just super excited about what the year ahead is going to bring for it.

I love that. It is so beautiful to know that our experience can always benefit not just in our own neighborhood or our own web space, but people all over the globe that definitely would not have had that opportunity if it wasn't for you. So I love that. So how did you get into. How did you figure out about the Enneagram? Like, how did you learn about that?

Hmm. I think I started out just taking personality tests to begin with and just wanting to understand. I'm also an infj, and I felt like. I definitely feel like I identify way more with being an enneagram 5 in a lot of ways than I do with the infj. I can be really extroverted at times, which is weird. And I didn't really feel like I fit into that box entirely. But, you know, I think that that's just really spurred me buying books and reading more. And I want to say that I stumbled across the Enneagram in a book that I read at one point and then just really started down that rabbit hole of research into it and then discovered, oh, this is why I'm so interested in the Enneagram. And then, of course, I buy the books and I read them to everybody in my family, too, because I'm a five.

Of course.

We gotta figure you out.

Okay, so that being said, you have three children.

Yes.

Right. And do you know what they are on the Enneagram?

I do. And I'm married to a seven, which is really cool because he. Oh, my gosh. Yes. But I need the seven, you know? You do? I do. Fun spontaneity and all of the stuff that he brings to life, and he needs the groundedness and the organization and all the stuff that I bring into life. So we definitely keep each other very balanced. Yeah. So I have. I have an eight. I have a Nine. And I have a three.

Oh my goodness. It's like, you know, all over the place. Yeah, I love it. I love it. And you know, I birthed a seven. And I think growing up the way that you and I did, I know that sevens before I was healthy and understood, like before things made sense, sevens probably triggered me more than anybody because that free spiritedness is something that I so wish I had but just never had. Growing up the way that you and I grew up. And I think that we get delivered some of these beautiful. My seven is why I even studied the Enneagram, because I knew I could not communicate with her and I needed to learn a different way because clearly my eightness was not landing the way that I intended. And you're raising an eight, so you know how intense we can be sometimes. And that doesn't always work. And so I'm grateful for the sevens in my life as well. They're always here to teach me something. And you sparked on something because I know a lot of people do the Myers Briggs too. I'm an infp, but my best friend is an infj. And although those are great and everything, and I love that you said this about the Enneagram, that you just related so much more and it made more sense. And it's because you have a psychology degree as well. So you understand probably that there's so much more psychological stuff in the Enneagram than the other things. I mean, those are based on behaviors. The Enneagram really under, like, helps you understand how these behaviors are expressed and why they're expressed that way. Like, you were born a five, for sure. You have that nature about you for sure. But then it gets expressed based on our experiences, environment. And like you said before, we're 15. You know, we form who we are. And as you've grown into health and wisdom and all of that, the way that your 5 gets expressed is more. There's more variety to it. Right. Same thing with my eightness. Like most people meeting me, if you knew about the Enneagram, wouldn't peg me. Is probably an 8, right. Until. Until I get a little fired up. But I love that you shared that. And how has the Enneagram helped you and your family? Like, obviously you've got the wide range. You've got, you know, five of the nine personalities all under one family.

Yes. It's crazy. I think that we all just understand each other so much better. We joke around all the time now. Like my middle daughter, the nine, she and I just like. Well, we Constantly are joking back and forth. She's really into the enneagram too. So it's been a fun bonding thing for us to do together. But we'll just make flippant comments sometimes like, oh, he's being a seven or like, oh, she's being an eight. It's just we have a lot of fun with it. Nobody really takes offense to it. We're just, you know, we are who we are. And I think it's helped us to all to relate better honestly and just to kind of be able to laugh at certain quirks that we have that maybe would have irritated us before they don't anymore. I love that you said that, how, you know, once you learned about sevens and how they triggered you and you were so much better able to understand it. And I think that it's given me that gift too with my husband because obviously it can be frustrating for a 5 and a 7 to be married because like you said, like, I was resentful of his free spirit and how he just was so happy go lucky all the time. And I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. And I see that now in a different light. Not as, you know, it being me being right or him being wrong, but just us being us and just freely accepting the gifts that come along with that has been completely transforming in so many ways. I think it's been really powerful for our whole family to understand each other better. And I'm so blessed and happy that we stumbled across this and were able to, you know, that they were open minded enough even if to say, hey, this is cool, mom, I want to learn about this. Like, that's. I love that they're like that.

So, yeah, it was funny when I introduced my kids to it because, I mean, they felt the radical shift immediately and just how I communicated with them. And they were teenagers at the time and they're looking at me like, what happened? And because I could instead of being frustrated like a seven, like, I would get so frustrated by the flakiness of my daughter sometimes. But instead of being frustrated by it, I had compassion that it made sense that that just meant she was under stress. It didn't mean that she was being disrespectful. And so when I introduced my kids to it, my son was reading, he's a two, so you know, the sweetness of our home. He was reading all the unhealthy patterns of each of our types. And he looked up at me and he said, mom, how the heck did we not kill each other in 2012. And I was like, oh, my gosh, it was by the grace of God and the enneagram that, you know, it gave us a roadmap to better understand and have compassion for each other. And, you know, I. You know, I'm so grateful that you found you being you in this world and how it fit, where it felt really good for you, and where it serves tens of thousands of people, not just in looking pretty, getting our pretty on every day, but really taking transformation at a deeper level than even the clothes we put on our back. So I'm so grateful that you found your way out of, you know, the wreckage of a childhood that was really, really rough and that you have used it for something so big. And I know that you're just getting started, too. So I appreciate you so, so much. I know when I met you that it was for a bigger reason than just, you know, what that was, and so I'm grateful for that. Where can people find you and learn more about getting our purdy on?

Thank you so much. And I absolutely feel the same way about you, and I'm so grateful to have this opportunity to come here and be interviewed by you and be able to talk about all this. And I really, truly share in your belief that the pain that we have in our past is our mess, is our message, and that's what we're supposed to be doing. So we are definitely kindred spirits and in every possible way.

I agree.

Yes. Yes. You can find me@getyourprettyon.com on Instagram getyourpretty on.

And she has a opt in where you can get. Is it a PDF for, like, all the staples you should have in your closet? Ladies, pay attention right now. You're gonna want to want this.

Yes. So it's a list of all the closet staples that you need to create mix and match outfits. It's for every season of the year, and you can just print it off, check off anything that you already have, and then go to the store, come armed with your shopping list, shop with a purpose, and fill in the blanks on that list. And I promise you, you will be able to create a multitude of mix and match outfits from that list.

Oh, my gosh. Last January, I did the whole Marie Kondo everything. Like, I unload. You would have died. I should send you the picture I took. And I'm not a shopper. I don't even like to shop. But I was very humbled as I unrolled everything that in my closet, which is pretty large and put it on my back patio. I was mortified. Mortified by. And I gave away 85% of it and have really honored, like, I just want the staples in my closet and just so much more freedom and headspace that you free up and having these. What did you call them? Capsules.

Yes.

Like, I love that you also have a jewelry line with your daughter, which you guys gotta check out. It's alisonandaubry.com with one L in Allison. Really, really cute stuff. And I just love the mission between you and your daughter, like bridging that gap in our ages. And it touched me so much because I have a daughter your daughter's age and just, you know, she. She shops in my closet, but she pairs it up different than I would. And. Yeah, and I love that your line kind of brings that together too. And it's lovely. Thank you so much for being here and thank you. I look forward to learning more from you as we go and as our friendship grows too.

Same here. Thank you so much.

I appreciate you.

I appreciate you.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@tracyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.

Sam.