102: How to bring out the BEST in your Leadership using the Enneagram

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author.

Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur.

And master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building.

A bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in.

The ass, you will discover that here.

Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof.

Buckle up. Let's go.

Hey. Hey. And welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And it is Enia Talk Tuesday and we are talking about all things leadership. It is so important and I don't care if you are leading in your home, leading on the playground, leading in your business, leading the world. Leadership is one of the most important things there is. It's where we make the biggest impact, when we can make such a positive influence on others. And I'm not going to lie, there were times in my life, my leadership skills, although I got things done, I wasn't very effective and I wasn't great, you know what I'm saying? I was able to get people to move out of fear, out of intimidation, you name it. But you know, I think with the self awareness that I have today, you know, I can say all that without a lot of shame. You know, when we know better, we do better. We have a choice to do better. And I know there are many of you out there that know, you feel it in your bones, you have this calling, you know, you are meant to do something big, even if it's in your home. Like being a parent and raising children is the most important leadership role there is in my opinion because we are raising the next generation of leaders. And even though the outside world can influence kids, where they learn and build their belief system is in our home. And so I know like the most effective leading I need to do is there. And if you've been listening at all, you know that I didn't always get it right. And quite honestly, I did it really not so great. And we've had to really work hard to turn it around here in my home. And I'm happy to report the more self aware and the more work and the more humility and the more that I Take different effective action with compassion and love and understanding instead of guilt and shame and loathing. The the legacy I'm leaving behind with my millennial children is something that I am probably the most proud of. It's the leadership I'm most proud of. And I am known as a leader across the globe and in other countries and all over the place. But the leadership I'm most proud of is that in my home. When asked to describe their leadership style, I would say most leaders, even the most savvy, feel kind of confused, myself included, until I really became self aware. And the Enneagram really helped me know the ins and outs of who I am with obviously lots of different sparkly parts and some darker parts. But when we when I ask people about their leadership style, most would answer very short and maybe be it may even be based on feedback that they've received and it's not maybe how they really believe it is.

Our leadership style actually grows directly from our Enneagram style. And when you understand the Enneagram, this becomes so clear. And from that clarity can emerge huge acceptance for your strengths and understand the possibility of transformative growth. The Enneagram's leadership application enables all of you to understand the nine different leadership paradigms and the related leadership strengths and potential derailers. Like I think knowing my my darker side, not to beat myself up, but as like a compass, you've heard me say that before, allows me to course correct really quick, quickly, and not derail the entire thing that I'm trying to do, whether it's in my home or in my businesses or relationships. But knowing the predictable behaviors of your Enneagram type and the leaders of each type and the best development activities to enhance your leadership capability based on your type, it makes a world of difference. It doesn't have to carry shame. It doesn't have to be like rolling the dice, hoping something sticks. You can actually really have an effective game plan and how you're going to lead. And knowing how you lead, you can surround yourself with people that maybe have different styles of leadership so everybody can learn. It's an amazing thing. This is how it operates in my home, my teams, my businesses. I am surrounded by a plethora of different Enneagram types so that we have all different styles interacting at once. It's amazing. In addition, the Enneagram can be used to develop very specific leadership competencies, from driving for results to strategic planning, leading high performing teams, and so on. Much more. So today I thought I'd go through how each Enneagram Enneagram type perceives their leadership and some of the strengths and challenges that they might have. It's in high integrity, but when you go into micromanagement mode, you kind of lose credibility and trust with your people, whether it's your kids or your business associates or coworkers, anything like that. My twos the helpers you lead by motivation and encouragement. You develop excellent relationships. You're super supportive, super resourceful. People love having you on the team in the home for sure. I love the two in my home where twos can be challenged leadership wise is being overly relationship focused, having difficulty saying no or setting the boundaries and being too involved. I see this happen a lot. Carry people along a little bit too, too far and not only do you get resentful, but it slows the whole process down and it kind of defeats the purpose, right? So if you are to something that you can do to really step into a stronger leader is to focus on tasks equally with the relationship aspects of leading. Taking time for yourself to rest, eat and relax, like make sure that you are filling your cup up first but really setting some healthy boundaries around how like I think relationships are one of the most important things obviously in the home and in business. But you know, there is this gray area that and this, this in the middle spot, this the sweet spot that A2 needs to find. For my threes, you achievers, you lead by goals, plans and results, right? Focus. Entrepreneurial spirit is the love language of the enneagram 3. Energy and I can do anything attitude. Put it in front of me and I will crush it. Where our threes my achievers are challenged is they can be so competitive. They can be really abrupt when they're stressed, impatient with lengthy conversations which some people, especially if you're leading a 2 or a 6, might need to have. And overworking, right? You've heard me say this before. You guys are so fixated on the goal line, which is important to lead the pack. But you also have to find that, that spot in the middle where the, where the soul line is. So if you're a three, something that you can work on and this is something, when I am leading threes, I will praise their heart and their vulnerability, not just what they do. So if you're a three, identifying less with your work as the primary sense of who you are and the value that you bring and knowing that you being in relation with other people's and caring about, you know, the relationship aspect, not just the end result is going to be something that actually helps you achieve Even more. And I know all the threes just heard that and they're like, okay, give me more of that. My enneagram fours, the individualists or the romantics, these, these guys are visionaries. If you're a four year visionary and you are led by that vision and connection, you are so deeply connected to the authentic self space. You're great storytellers. You lead through that value based vision, creativity, inspiration, compassion and interpersonal. So you actually are visionaries with the relationship aspect of it, which is amazing. And when things get heated, it doesn't freak you out too much, which is amazing. Fours where you get challenged, you can be a little too intense or moody, you can overemphasize feelings, you can be overly sensitive. And this is the biggest part as a leader, whether it's in your home, relationships, business. As a four, when that starts to happen, you withdraw and your energy is so powerful that when you withdraw it's felt and it can be scary for people that you work with or you're in relationship with. So being mindful that, that you can go there and not beating yourself up for that but knowing that that's kind of where you go and communication is going to be really, really important if you're a four, when the shadow starts to kind of creep its way in. So if you are a four and how you can step into a stronger role, a more effective role in your leadership is to focus less on yourself and your feelings and the emotions of others and more on the task at hand. This will be really, really important because an enneagram 4 in a growth pattern can take on the behaviors and traits of that healthy one that improver. So you know a routine is going to be very, very important for the fours out there. My enneagram fives, you guys lead by research, deliberation and planning. You, you have a logical insight. You are the data people, analysis, you are super objective and you have this expertise about you because whatever you research, you know everything you can about it. And I love having fives in my Life. Where A5 the investigator can get challenged is being a little detached, remote or aloof, overly independent. We all know you love to work alone, but having a little bit of collaborative energy about you will be something that's important.

You have discomfort in engaging with others and you can be so overly cerebral and you know, with, with a five you have a four wing accessible to you so you are able to tap into emotions, you know, and when I see fives that can lean into the healthy relational part and know that Their energy and capabilities aren't going to be depleted. That's when I see Fives really, really shine in leadership. So if you are a five, you know, like I just said, you can to, to become a better leader, you can gain greater access to your emotional state. Y' all got the 4 Wing there. Go for it in real time, not just like after the fact or, or anything like that. The other thing about a 5 to really help in your leadership is to trust your body instincts more. Um, when a 5 can be in tune with what their neurological system is telling them, that can really lead the way in where you go with your leadership. I found that when fives really can tap into even just a little bit of their emotional side, world class leaders come out of that. It's amazing. My six is the loyalists. You lead by creative problem solving. Every organization needs a 6 in it. They really, really do. You guys keep us out of a lot of trouble. And knowing that I know that you guys, you wear that very proudly. And the reason for that is because you want certainty. So you are making sure that all the problems or possible problems are going to be addressed. Sixes lead through collaborative creative problem solving, risk assessment, loyalty, and perseverance. The Sixes are the most collaborative on the Enneagram, and like I said, a lot of that is for their own inner peace because they want certainty. So they want to make sure everybody's kind of doing their part, but in doing that really, they, they can really drive a team very, very far. Where a loyalist, the Sixes, where you guys can get into trouble is being too wary and too cautious or, or too risk taking. You can be too compliant or too defiant, and you can sometimes. I see this a lot with Sixes project feelings and thoughts basically coming from your own fear that either somebody's not going to pull their weight or there's going to be a blind side or, you know, they have the scenario going on in their head and sometimes that can paralyze a six. So what I like to tell a six is like, what is your body telling you? What's your gut telling you? When I'm working with Sixes and really get them to trust that inner knowing instead of letting their head take off. So if you are a six, one of the things that you can do, it's, we love your troubleshooting capabilities in your risk management. We do. We're not trying to like squeeze that out of you, but asking fewer what ifs and more why nots as you approach leadership challenges will allow you to not be Paralyzed and actually have you carrying a posture that people feel like is confident and self assured. And that goes a long way in leadership. My Enneagram Sevens, the enthusiasts you lead by new ideas and innovation and you guys are like the chief fun officers and you bring a, and anything's possible energy to everything. Whether it's in the home or in the workplace and business and entrepreneurship, anything is possible with the sevens you are always leading with new ideas, high energy, new idea generation, enthusiasm, curiosity and engagement. That enthusiasm goes a long way. Way. Now, if you're a seven, you already know what I'm about to say. Where you guys can get into trouble is you can be a little impulsive sometimes and unfocused because you know, if you know anything about the seven, they don't want to feel pain, they want to avoid difficult issues. So that's where they can kind of become scattered. You can rationalize stuff and if you're not careful and don't have some power people around you that have a stronger skill set in areas that you don't, the lack of follow up can leave all these beautiful, amazing visions and innovative ideas that you have just left behind. And that sucks for all of us because you guys make amazing things happen. So if you're a seven, something that you can do, you know, and I'm raising a seven and watching her step into her leadership skills, we were just having a conversation about this today that one of the things that you can do as an, as an enthusiast enneagram7 is talk less and listen more. Not be afraid to stand still in something. You don't have to bounce from thing to thing, even though, you know, I would never cage that. But just being mindful that are you moving from thing to thing because you're genuinely excited or are you avoiding. Right, that's the, the gift of the seven is the ability to bounce to new thing to new thing. But it's also, you know, the dark side of you as well. So being very, very mindful of that, focusing on execution equally with idea generation will be something that's very important for seven. And if you're a solopreneur, this is going to be extra, extra important until you have a team around you where you can start delegating some of the.

Executionary. Is that even a word, execution things? I am somebody that likes to delegate some of the easier things, but until I was able to have a team around me, I needed to be able to focus on that as well as, you know, the visionary things. So my Sevens out there we don't want to put you in a cage, but it's time to really either build a team around you that keep you focused and, and all of that, or it's just a skill set that you can do. And, you know, an enneagram 7 goes to a 5 and growth, and that's that investig. And creating a container where, you know, all the crazy ideas and clarity can really come through will be really, really important for our Sevens out there. My fellow eights, my fellow challengers, we lead by strategy and big action. Like, when you need a power move, call in the eights, because that is where we shine. Like I said, we lead through strategic vision. We, we are the blind spot.

Masters. I would like to say, although the Sixes are like the troubleshooters and risk management, the Eights have a different kind of vision that none of the other Enneagram types have. We, we have the ability to see blind spots behind the blind spots. We understand influence networks. We can really make a move. Like, you feel our energy.

When we walk into a room and, you know, especially if we are healthier, it has an authority kind of energy to it. Whether we open our mouth or not, people just kind of know it. We lead through honesty and boldness and decisiveness and action. We're not afraid to say, you know, what does shit need to get done? We are going to do it. Now, I know I've struggled with this, and I know a lot of my other Eights have to my gosh, a decade ago, I was very controlling and demanding. I was agitated and judgy with a slow pace or lack of big action, so much so that I would stir the pot. So big action had to be taken. I don't recommend that, by the way. It's a lot. And Eights can be highly overextended a lot of times because we want, especially if we're in an environment where we don't trust that people have things handled where, and myself included, most of my life, I would say 40 years of my life, I was overextended because I didn't trust anyone for anything and I didn't want to have to rely on anyone. And so that's how AIDS can become overextended and really get pissed off about it. And then that intense energy that can be such a positive thing can actually be the dark, dark, dark, dark shadow of that eight and destroy some of the most beautiful things. So if you're an 8, understand that this is something that's going to be something you have to pay attention to your whole life, with great reward comes great responsibility. And I know one of my greatest gifts is that beautiful, intense energy. But it comes with a responsibility of being mindful of, kind of where. Where I'm at at all times. You know, looking in the mirror, radically honest with ourselves and owning your shit. It's a big part of leadership. So if you're an 8, learning to forgive and forget.

Yeah, that one's really hard. Sometimes I can forgive easy. I really, really can. Especially knowing the enneagram and having compassion for the other enneagram types. I forgive very easily, but. And I can forget. But it's noted, right? Forget with an asterisk. It's noted. And I am on high alert. I am always looking for clues, not to assume people are going to steer us wrong or steer me wrong, but, you know, I'm very. This is where the eights see the things that other people don't. Is we. We have this memory and. And we remember when things maybe aren't. And it's not even a bad thing. But maybe you aren't in a healthy spot. Maybe you need, you know, something else to move the needle further for you. I know as a leader myself in business and in my home, when I can see where the weaknesses, because that's what eights do. We judge everything by weak or strong. When I can sense a weakness in somebody, before I used to use it to manipulate or capitalize on things and overpower things. Now I use it to help empower things. So for my eights out there, you know, doing that and the other thing that eights need to remember are that there are multiple valid perspectives, not just our own, and invite in conversation, not just dominating it. I do a lot more listening today. In fact, I love listening and asking just questions and then keeping my freaking mouth shut because I actually can help a lot more the more I listen. And I know my eights out there too. We don't have to control everything. Last but not least, my nines, the peacemakers. You all lead by consensus. You are super diplomatic. You really want to get the group.

Perspective on everything. You make people feel included, which is amazing. You have the patience like nobody else. You have respect for others and consistency. And you are always looking for what works best for everyone.

Where especially in business, a lot of times it can be like, you know, overpowering people to get yours. You guys really make sure that everybody has a voice. The problem is, and the challenge for you is sometimes you forget your own. And for my nines out there, that is one of the gifts I wish I could just hand you is knowing that your voice is just as important as the voice that you want for everybody else to be heard. You guys can be a little unassertive, conflict avoidant, overly accommodating. And that indecisiveness or that low energy really keeps us from experiencing the gifts that you bring in your leadership. So if you are a nine, I want you to believe in yourself and honor what you have to offer as a leader and share your point of view with others absolutely is so important.

So those are the nine Enneagram types and how the leadership is perceived by yourself and other people. So you can see how like if back in the day when I was leading, I expected everybody to lead and perform as though they were eights like me. And no wonder, although I would scare people into doing shit, it didn't ever flow and it was always a grind. And you know, it was like this, this work, just at it all the time. And I know to be a leader and to step into your gifts whether it's in your home and in your businesses, when you can not only understand yourself first and foremost which self awareness is probably the most important thing a leader needs to have, but also being mindful and compassionate and understanding and excited about the other eight Enneagram types and their skill sets and leadership. When you can surround yourself with all the all these other pieces, then you can step into your role as a leader in your home and in your relationships and in your business and it feels so much better. Let me tell you, when I quit trying to make everybody an 8, my life got a lot better. And when I know what the other leadership styles for the other eight Enneagram types are and really empowering each of them to step into those gifts. That's how I've been able to lead the most effective in business. And you know, the team, my home team here probably like I've said before, the team I am most proud of. So I know many of you have a lot to say. I want to know what you think about leadership. If you have found this episode helpful, please take a screenshot, tag it, let me know what you are loving about all of this and what else you might want here. If you want to dive deeper in your own Enneagram, please reach out to me at Instagram, at Tracey underscore O' Malley or on my website@traceeomalley.com I would love, love, love to help walk you through the journey of leader in your home and in your business. And until next time here's to becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on instagram @tracy omalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceeomalli.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.