106: The great, the gifted and pain in the ass parts of being an Enneagram 7 with Kasey

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author.

Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And I would say one of the top, top things I'm asked about all the time is parenting and how I use the Enneagram in my parenting to build stronger relationships with my kids, to bring bring out the best in my kids, to empower my kids to be exactly who they were designed to be. And today's episode is very, very special because I am interviewing my own daughter who is 24 years old. Well, by the time this airs, you probably will be 24. Be right there. She's already being sassy. But she is why I started really diving deep into the Enneagram as a little girl. From the minute she was put in my arms, I knew we were very, very different. And my whole life I didn't feel understood. And being the mom to a daughter has huge responsibility. We teach them how to be women, we teach them what they can expect from women. And being very different from her, I really wanted to not ever minimize who she was. I wanted to bring out the best in her and not necessarily raise my clone, but bring out who she was designed to be. So almost a decade ago is when I really was like, okay, what am I raising right here? And it was very, very clear in going through all the types that of course I birthed an enthusiast, which is the Enneagram 7. And they could not be more different than the 8. But the beautiful thing about having a 7 is she actually has taught me how to lean into my 7 wing as an enneagram 8. And her being a 7 allows her to tap into her 8 wing. So that can be a really great combination and it can be a very explosive combination too. So with that being said, we've got some great things to share with you today. About what it means to be an enneagram 7. As a younger kid being raised by an 8. All the fun things that she loves about being a seven. The things that frustrate her about being a seven. The things that she will most likely her entire life have to have an awareness of. We're going to talk about what it's like to have a two brother and an eight mom. What it's like to have her inner circle that's very diversified. What it means to be in love with another enneagram7. That's fun. That's for sure. We're going to talk about how it applies to business. And my little lady is an astrology genius. And we kind of banter back and forth about like Enneagram types and how that correlates with astrology as well, which is going to be really, really fun. She's a genius, y'. All. I could geek out between Enneagram and astrology. We can geek out for hours. Hours. I think last Christmas I. I got her like the best astrology book ever. And we like, we read for hours. Hours. And like. Okay, now if you're an Enneagram, it was great. So without further ado, please welcome my beaut old daughter, Casey Hernandez. Hi girl.

Hi mama.

All right, so it was. I had been studying the Enneagram for a couple years before I even mentioned it to you guys. And it was probably about four years ago that I let you and Joey in on what I was doing with the Enneagram and what it meant. When you were reading through the types, did you immediately like, no. Okay, let's know who I was.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Well, I mean, I only would assume I was a seven right away just based off of like my outer shell personality and like my adaptable personality. Like that's usually the Enneagram type. I feel like I embody in every situation. But then once I dove deeper into it and we learned more about it, it was actually really crazy to see all the other parts of the Enneagram that represent me, like my wings and all of that, or where I go in stress, like to a one, right. And all of that stuff and how accurate it actually is kind of unpacks all the different parts of me to make me, which is pretty cool. But I definitely knew right away I was a 7, just cuz that's basically how I've been treated. Like people treat me like I'm a seven, like since I was a child. So it's. That's just always who I've been That makes sense.

One of the things about being an enneagram 7, like, their biggest fear is to feel like they're trapped, caged, or they don't want to be in a place where they have to experience pain. How true is that for you?

Oh, that's the most true thing ever. Especially the trapped part. Like, anytime I feel like I am in one routine for too long, I kind of start to panic in my mind and I feel the urge to break free of it. But it's not like I. It's not that I don't like structure. I need structure, if anything, to make sure I keep my shit together. But the routine is the part that gets me, like, freaking out. I don't know why.

Well, I mean, as a little girl, you were always this free spirit and, you know, you loved acting. For the variety, I think you love dancing for the variety, I think recognizing that about yourself, about. I love that you said that you, like a. Need structure, but the routine. So one of the things that I find with entrepreneurs, which you are with Enneagram Sevens, a lot of the time is to make structure fun so you don't feel like it becomes routine. What do you do in order to make structure fun?

Oh, I. I'm weird. Like. Like, remember we were in this networking group together, my mom and I, and it was every Tuesday, and I. I'm horrible at waking up early. And we had to be in North Scottsdale at like 9 in the morning. So I made sure I made that routine or that structure built like a very fun time. I would wake up, I chug a knee shot, I go to Einstein's, I have my routine of like, my order, my tea, my fun. I talk to all the regulars. And then I have a whole playlist on my phone that I scream sing in the car on the way to the things like that. Like, I have to make the journey to the destination, a whole experience, start to finish, from wake up till I'm there. Or else I'll be just dragging ass. And then same in my work life and my routine there. I mean, I'm pretty much work every single day. Like, it's rare I have a day off. And the way I think I picked a profession that keeps my routine fun because I'm definitely in a structured routine where I work and what I do. But.

Like I said, I'm never doing the same thing every day at work. I'm either doing someone's makeup or I'm waxing someone's whole body or I'm. I'm talking about their skin or we're on to lashes and it's spray tans. And it's like I have enough variety in my work routine that keeps it like every day is a new day. It's not like I'm going and sitting in an office. So those are the kind of ways I try to keep things fun, just to keep me not freaking out about staying in one spot for too long.

I love that about you. And I have lets Enneagram sevens know out there that you know, because most of your life, I would say sometimes teachers, sometimes family, sometimes even friends, you know, they don't mean to do this to you. But the word focus being said to an enneagram 7 can feel insulting and hurtful sometimes because your. Your brain is always going on what's possible, big opportunities. Anything is possible to an enneagram 7. So when you were told, I don't ever recall telling you that you need to focus or anything like that. And for those of you that love or lead an enneagram 7 know that they have a brain with a lot of ideas. And just because they can spit it all out doesn't mean they actually believe all of it will happen. But what I have found is, you know, when talking to you and when you are just rattling off a whole bunch of things, my strategic brain used to kind of go into like, okay, tactical mode. How is this going to happen? And what I would find is I would interrupt you and interrupt that train of thought. And so if you're loving or leading a seven, let them just riff, Let them go.

What I've noticed too is like what you said. What did you just describe it as? Like, how are we going to make this happen? All that. If you think about it like the seven has a six wing or an eight wing. So it's like the six wing of me always comes out once I'm done getting my seven part out and being like, I have this idea, this idea. It's like, okay. Then my other sides of me come in and then that's when we delegate the game plan. Because it's like I got the six wing being like, well, what could happen? Worst case scenario? How are you going to do this? And then I have my eight wing being like, determination. Get shit done. Let's make it happen. And I got my seven with all the excitement behind it and ideas. So it's like if you just let the seven figure it out, they're gonna go through all the trains of thought. Like that excitement and that spew of emotion is just the first part of it all. So I always recommend just letting them do their thing unless it's personally affecting you. Stfu.

I love that. The other thing that's really important for a seven is to have a supporting staff that is. I mean, having a bunch of sevens together can be a hell of a good time. However, not always the most efficient crew to get things done. So I love that we'll get into your inner circle and who is your supporting staff. I like to say about how that really helps you embody your sevenness and support you the very best that we can. I love that you brought up earlier about, you know, recognizing that you go to that unhealthier one under stress, where you become more rigid, like the tunnel vision, almost ocd for that free spirit to all of a sudden be like, perfectionist, obsessive compulsive a little bit. We'll touch on that. But also what I have really noticed about you.

That is beautiful is as you have evolved and really stepped into who you are and become more confident and healthy. Seven under in a growth pat takes on the healthier five, which is the investigator, which is the most introverted, ironically, on the enneagram. So, you know, that's where you are building a container where you're okay with some solitude, where all those big ideas actually can be birthed. So explain what that feels like for you.

Like, when I tap into, like, the five growth patterns, honestly, it's when I notice that I'm not in a rush to make shit happen and when I'm not, like, constantly thinking about five steps ahead of me and, like, what could I do? What could I do? What could I do? That's when I know I'm actually really happy with my life because I'm just living in the moment a little bit more. Um, and I notice I'm big. I'm a big artist. I love to paint and draw and jam out to music and whatever. But I notice when I'm in my, like, most calm state of mind, it's usually when I'm just alone in my bedroom, literally being an introvert, but it's only for, like, four hours of the day if that. And then it's like, onto the next one. But I do like to give myself those, like, times to just be alone and just not do anything because I feel like I'm constantly doing something to keep my mind distracted. That if I'm comfortable not distracting my mind, I need to embrace it and let it happen.

That is beautiful advice for all the Sevens out there. Is to create that container where you can have that solitude. Because some of the greatest ideas that sevens have have happen in the quiet time. So I love that. So what do you love most about being in enneagram7?

I love all the fun.

This might sound like a little conceited, but I just love like, people always mentioning that I'm a good time. And I love that like my brother and one of my best friends, Sydney, they. They made this comment, they're like, you're the main character. Like, if this was a movie, you'd be the main character. And that's like something I live to be. I'm like, okay, I'll take run with it. I would love to be the main character of my own movie. I never want to be, you know, supporting role. So I think that's probably what I love most about being a 7 is just how I'm really confident in a large room of people and I'm never gonna. I don't really struggle with like social anxiety much, which I know is a blessing for some. So I think that'd probably be my favorite part is all the fun.

What is the thing that frustrates you most about being an enneagram 7?

My stressful one. I love being a 7, but I don't like. I don't like my stressed out self. I know I could be a little bit neurotic and crazy.

And I've worked hard on that because I know it can affect my own. Just my own mental health. It doesn't really affect anyone around me besides annoying them. And for me, it takes me down. So. Really worked on that. I also. Another thing that frustrates me about being a Seven is probably other people more than myself. Again, like, yeah, being really misunderstood. People don't really take me seriously sometimes they think I'm just fun and games and that whatever, you know what I mean? But I actually am a very intense person if you get to know me. And I have a lot of logic behind my thoughts. And it's not always just like throw everything up in the air and see what happens. Like, most of the things I do are very thought out. And so it frustrates me when someone doesn't take my ideas seriously just because I have a big smiley personality behind what I'm saying or a fun time or a different way of going about it than most people.

I will say that's probably one of the things that I really was aware of. Even you as a little girl because you were like so free spirited and you were just bubbly But I could see so much more in you. And I will say one thing I absolutely did do right is always take you seriously.

Even as a kid, what I was really into is self expression when it comes to like my clothing, my hair, my makeup, my art, whatever. My bedroom, everything was like, I mean, I had hot pink streaks and platinum blonde hair in seventh grade and my mom just let it happen because she knows like, whatever, let her express herself. And now I have normal hair because she let me get that all out when I was a kid. And I feel like that's a great way that you let me be fully me was my self expression in those ways.

I love that I was telling somebody the other day when I grounded her when she got in trouble. Like, what I would take away from her is her yoga pants eyeliner.

My eyeliner was like my biggest punishment over the phone. I would cry about eyeliner and purple eyeshadow and yeah, yoga pants are a big 1.

Typical ideogram 7. Take away how they can express themselves and they will stay in line. That being said, you talked about, you know, being taken seriously and you were spot on with what you said. As a seven, you have the ability to tap into the six wing or the eight wing. How do you use your six wing? You know, because a lot of times we use one in a dominant way. Sometimes we can teeter between the both, which you do very elegantly, and sometimes we don't use any of them. But I think as we grow as human beings, we are able to tap into both our wings very effectively, which is brilliant because there's more access to the things we can do in the world. So how do you access and where in your life do you notice you use the six wing the most?

Honestly, I don't think the six wing affects me personally at all as it affects my circle of people and my. The people I care about. I totally tap into six wing whenever anyone is coming to me for absolutely anything. Advice, guidance, friendship, a place to fall. I'm totally my six wing. I'm constantly like, I'm not the friend you're going to go to when you want to have like, like your sob story and like become a victim. I'm the like, which I, I mean, I can obviously empathize, I'm very empathetic. But I always have a game plan after it. It's like, okay, this is your problem, let's map it out. And how are you going to fix your problem? Because I don't want to sit here and listen to you complain about your problem more if you're not going to put any action towards it, let's like figure it out. And I feel like that's, that's where my six wing really comes to life is when in my friendship circles and even like with you like I know I'm usually coming to you for advice but if you're ever talking to me about your day to day life issues or struggles, it's like my go to is to be protective. I'm maybe a little bit pessimistic in a sense which is crazy because I'm the most optimistic person ever. But I can go there because I just see like I want to map out the worst case scenario for you because I don't want that for you. So I want you to be able to see it and you know, tread lightly. And I feel like that's mainly where my six wing comes out.

You know, it's funny that you said that like of my best friend is a six. As you know and I know that you hardcore go into your six wing especially like what you said and you two, when I have to talk about something that is hurting me or struggling, you two are the ones I'm like, I want to talk to but I'm resistant to because that hardcore loyalist and and protector and I'm used to being the protector of everyone.

What's funny is my actually my number one best friend in this world like my sister basically she's also a six and I feel the same exact way whenever I want an event or like you know, say I like mad at my boyfriend or something. It's like she's the first person I want to tell but the last because it's like she's going to hold that grudge way longer than I'm going to. So do really want to share that. And I feel like that's how my friends feel with me a lot of the time. And I think it's straight up my six wing or my Capricorn one or the other.

Those are some facts. Okay, so your eight wing, you know, this is where you and I really bond. And I think because you have a mom that's an eight, you can see the beauty in using that and having a seven daughter. Like I don't think I really ever use my seven wing unless I was drinking back in the day in a healthy way. But now like of course the gift that is you allows me to really utilize the gifts of the seven wings. So not only having an eight wing but having a mom that's an eight. How do you use your eight wing today?

I think so. You know how I just said like the six doesn't really affect me personally, but more the people around me. I feel like my eight wing is more for me. I don't. And all my own personal growth. Like I for sure see my eight wing when it comes to my business navigating and my professional relationships and my. I'm very determined and everything I say I'm going to do, I do it and I do it fully and it's always successful because I work my ass off at it. And I feel like that's all a also learning from watching you who happens to also be an 8. So it makes sense that I navigate my professional life in the same path as you in a sense. I also notice it in my fieriness in my personality. Sometimes I can go 0 to 100. And not necessarily always in a bad way, but sometimes in a confrontational way. But my boyfriend likes to call me spicy. So I think that's a lot of the 8 too. Like I think it's when my 7 gets pushed around too much, my 8 kind of comes in and likes to protect the 7 in me and I just kind of go loud and dominant.

So that being said, and I love that you are spicy for sure. I love that about you and I love that we can. We have this beautiful understanding of each other because we are right next to each other on the enneagram, I think more now than ever. I don't, I can't even remember the last time you and I got into it. Like it's been a year, I think.

I mean it's more like. It's more like it's funny because you remind me a lot of my best. My other best friend who's an Aries, but she's an Aries 7 and you're an Aries 8. And it's funny, you're in. My arguments are a lot like me and her. It's like maybe one a year maybe, but that one is a blow up. And then it's like over the next day before that because we both can calm down really fast. I think it's just like we have to go there in order to get to the resolution of it. And it's really interesting to see an 8 and a 7 or 7 and 8 argue because that's exactly what it is. It's like 0 to 100 back down to 0 and then it's over for another 365 days.

Very, very true. So you live in the house currently with me and your brother. And it's been us three, gosh, for 13, 14 years now. And at the beginning of that, we didn't navigate it very, very well. But obviously Almost the last 10, we've been pretty in tune with each other. And you being in the head triad as a seven, me being in the instinctual triad as an eight, and your brother being in the heart triad as a two, you use the enneagram to navigate the craziness that is me, you and Joey.

It's helped me a lot with communication and it's helped me a lot just as a coexisting in the household situation. Like, I know that I'm the least considerate, not intentionally, but I'm just like the least considerate about the day to day chores and things and cleanliness. And just because my head's not there, my head's elsewhere. And so I don't think about those things in the same way like my brother would, who's a heartbreak triad guy who's constantly thinking of how to help the whole household as a whole. You know what I mean? So it's taught me living with you guys has taught me to be more considerate in those areas. It's also taught me how to communicate better with twos and emotion, more like the emotional side and the empathy. And you know, I don't really go to my six wing when my brother's coming to me because I know that that's just gonna make him go quiet and it's gonna make him shut down because that's intense and it's intimidating. So inst. Just listen more, sort of talk more when he's going or for you, it's like, I know you can handle that and you actually need that and want that so I can go there with you instead. And it's like I've definitely learned just like different ways of communicating. So whatever I have to say or whatever they need to get out is more effective versus just like falling on deaf ears, you know, I love that.

The three of us really understand each other fully and really want to be the most effective communicators with each other. And I think the reason that this home is as harmonious as it is is because we definitely have a genuine desire to understand and to make sure that we're each seen, heard and understood. And I am so grateful for your openness and willingness to recognize that that's an area that you don't. It's not your go to, but you know, it's important to me and it's important to Joey and that you really work hard to step up your game in that area. And we. It does not go unnoticed. So thank you for that. So we've talked about, like, our friendships and our. You know, you've heard me talk about our inner circle, and we've had some hard conversations about the people in your inner circle at times. And. And although I knew that they would run their course. Right. Some of the more dysfunctional people that used to be in your circle that are no longer there.

Bye. Bye.

So I am a firm believer of our inner circle being a little diversified, meaning not like ourselves. Right. Because we want to surround ourselves with people that bring out the best in us and, you know, have different gifts than us. So let's talk. Let's break down your inner circle and what that looks like.

So just so everyone knows, my inner circle right now is so freaking awesome. And they're all lifers. There's no more bad seeds. We need to get out. Okay. Anyway, I have. I have so many friends that I could consider my inner circle because they're all so amazing and diverse. Not a single one of us is the same.

But I would say, like, my, like, main four would be. I got a six, a two, a seven, and a three. So that's definitely diverse. And then I'm a seven. So we got two sevens in there, I guess.

So tell me what you learn from each of them.

Okay. Well, actually, the two probably has taught me the most about myself in a sense of my patience and my empathy and understanding, because she is a lot like my brother, but in a friendship way, it's totally different because it's, like, in a female way, it's totally different. So it's. It's been interesting to have a 2 in my closed circle because it's. It's natural for me to want to fix all of, you know, her problems. And that doesn't always. It's not always effective, you know, But I know I can get a little codependent. So it's taught me how to, like, set those healthy boundaries in that way in order to get the actual results that we want. Um, and she's actually been one of the best friends I've ever had in a sense of when actually I need to break down because I really work hard not to. Like, everything in my life is to be kind of shielded from the hard stuff. She's the one friend that can get me emotional in a second, and I really know I need that. And she's, like my little safe haven friend. So I love my two. And then we got a three who. She low key, motivates me without even knowing it, just because she's so driven and she's so rock solid when it comes to her goals and her and her path of life. And she's the youngest in our group. She was literally, like, probably three years younger than all of us. And she has her shit together because she's that three who's just constantly, like, achieving and wanting to achieve and striving for the best possible in herself. So she's kind of my go to when it comes to just where I can let my fun self shine because I bring her into the fun side and then she brings me into the great, logical side of like, what do you want to do today? You want to get shit done? Let's talk about our goals. She keeps like, she's the one that kind of inspired me to start actually getting healthy. And it's just like all these things I would have probably never thought about without my three. My six is my bestie, which we've touched on a lot.

That girl's some friends for how long? Over 12 years. We're going on. I think we're going on 13, something like that. But she's like my sister. And we've never gotten in a single fight in our life, which is saying something for a six and a seven, I would say. But she. She's amazing. She brings me down to earth. She's always reminding me, like, of what's real in life when I'm going a little crazy. She's my biggest protector. She's my biggest rock. I've driven. I've dropped everything and driven wherever she lives. We've. We've never lived closer than 30 minutes apart, sometimes hours apart, up to six hours apart. And we'll still drop everything to drive to each other when we need each other. So I do love my six. And then lastly, I got my seven, who was actually my roommate at one point. And out of all my friends, she's the one that understands me the most and only because she is so much like me. We navigate our feelings the same. We act the same in times of stress. We distract the same when we're emotional and don't want to be. We are impulsive and crazy and fun. And she always has, like, the best things to say to me in any moment because I feel like she just actually gets exactly the way I'm thinking. So it's kind of nice to have one of those. And it's also nice to have the Diversity of the rest of them. Because without the rest of them, I feel like me and my other seven, my old roomie, we would probably just burn everything down. Yeah, literally. Which we almost did when we lived together.

So I love that. So let's talk about romantic love and the Enneagram. And you know, this guy that you're with currently is like. Normally I wouldn't recommend two sevens together because that can be a little crazy and a little dreamy, like lost in the clouds if they weren't super healthy. However, I gotta say, seeing you two sevens together is awesome. Mainly. Honestly, I don't know him as well as I know you, obviously, but I know you work really, really, really hard to stay in the healthiest version of yourself. So what is it like to be in a relationship in love with another seven?

Oh, my gosh. It's easily the most fun I've ever had in any relationship I've ever been in. And the most cared for I've ever felt too, because I feel like we are both very concerned with keeping the fun in our relationship and never letting things get boring or too routine. However, in times of stress, we both go to the same place, which is our little one routine OCD kind of selves. And we do. It's good for the both of us because if we're both a little bit stressed, we both just know that we just need to wind down. We do our routine and we don't do anything else. And it's just what we need, quality time. But the seven side of both of us is very lively and fun. And it's nice because I feel like he can relate to not being taken seriously all the time and just being the charismatic fun guy, but he actually has so much to freaking offer to the whole world. He's one of the most kind people you'll ever meet and giving people. And it's really fun because when I know I'm a little bit too crazy, or maybe it's like, I'm getting bored. In our routine, he's quick to pick it up and be like, do you want to go do something? Do we need to go do something? Do we need to, like, just. Even. Just last night we just went for a drive for like an hour and just jammed to music because we just needed to do something. But Covid has made it hard to do stuff. So we've made fun out of anything, and it's really awesome. I'm really grateful to have a relationship like this one, honestly.

So what's the hardest part about being in A relationship with another seven.

The hardest part is probably our eight wings. Definitely not our seven cells. It's only when we are in a confrontational situation that it's hard for us because we both go just spicy, just exactly how I said with me and you. And me and my seven friend Katie, my old roommate. Those fights can go zero to 100, but then it's right back down to zero and we're like, okay, wait, right? Let's communicate properly. Let's think about this. Let's not hurt each other's feelings, you know what I mean? But the hardest part would probably be when we're both just in a little bit of a hot, heady mood. But it doesn't take long for us to, like, tone it down and talk about it, you know?

What would you say is the biggest difference you see between a seven woman and a seven man?

I think that.

This is kind of hard. I would say the difference is I have a little bit more.

I'm a little bit more my one than he is. I fall to the one stress way more than Jake does. I definitely can get a little bit more controlling than him, a little bit more like anal about certain things. And he's not really that way. He's definitely more. Yeah, he's also Libra and I'm also a Capricorn, so that can tell you enough. But he's definitely a lot more go with the flow than I am sometimes. Um, and he's way better at putting on his 7 mask than I am. Like, he can turn it on anytime and I sometimes have a hard time doing that.

That's awesome. I love that breakdown. Let's talk about business and work. And I remember you in high school, like, I already knew, like, you were not going to go the traditional route. You weren't going to be like, in college, you know, taking business classes. Like, that was so out of the question. And.

So in picking a career, you knew it'd be creative, you knew it'd be out of the box. How, you know, you being in the beauty industry and like you said, you've set up your career that in such a way that it's not the same thing every day. And I have been in full support of that, knowing what I know about the enthusiast and to not try and cage them or have them conform to social norms necessarily and always expanding your education so that you can do.

Numerous things within it. So what is it like to be a 7 in career and how, like, how do you utilize your wings? I know we kind of touched on it. But what does that actually look like? Because a lot of sevens are listening right now that are entrepreneurs and they feel all over the place. So how do you kind of tame that?

Well, honestly, I don't think I would be able to do it without the people around me because I don't have a lot of that natural navigation like you do, or like my employers do. They're really amazing at like, getting their. The shit together and just like setting up the protocol and then I can come in and just rock the protocol, stuff like that. But even when it came to choosing my path, it was very like. I mean, the only reason I even picked makeup school was because it was located in downtown Los Angeles. Like, I just wanted to, you know, get out and break free and be a little butterfly and just turns out I ended up falling in love with it. And one thing led to another. And the continuing education has been a big part of what keeps it fun is because there's so much to always learn in the beauty industry.

It's never. There's always a new service coming to the world that we can all learn and train on. And that definitely helps keep me interested in the, in the career path I chose. But when it comes to just navigating my business in general, I've gotten really good at organizing myself because that's something I have to do if I want to be successful, because otherwise I'll be a hot mess. So financially, I have come up with some envelope systems that work for me because I can't trust myself in my own bank account. Honestly, like, I have envelope systems when it comes to savings. I have a whole, like, mindset on where, okay, if I make this, if I get cash tips, they're only going to this place. If I get card tips, they're only going to that place. My paychecks go here. And everything has like an organized yet chaotic way of doing it financially. For me to at least be successful and enjoy doing it at the same time. I definitely think my six comes in when it comes to where I hold myself back a little bit in my work because I second guess myself sometimes or I have an idea, but I don't think I'm capable, things like that. But then my 8 can come in and I have like, over the top goals. And it's like, how are we going to make them all happen? Like, I've. I think I've come up with like a bunch of different game plans for my future. Like, at one point I wanted to move to Oregon. Now I'm like, I don't want to do that now. I just want to, like, learn something new. And it's like. I don't know. It's kind of weird. Like, I always have an idea because of the seven, but I feel like my wings kind of help me navigate what the smart path is. The six is either, like, no girlfriend. That's a little too crazy right now. Let's be logical. We're in the middle of a pandemic. You can't go just jumping ship and moving away. Or in the. Or my eight is like, that's an amazing idea. You need to embrace that and go for it and make it happen. So I think if it. And also, obviously, the people around me really help.

So in business, you know, although you are an entrepreneur and run your own business, you work alongside other females that aren't what one is wired like you and the others aren't. How do you use that in working in business partnership with other people?

Well, what was funny is I'm actually. I'm actually in their studio now. Like, I work for them for. And I have to say that's probably why, because there I. I was at first, I was. Wasn't under them. I was with them. Like, we. I was what. I had my own business and rented basically my little space. And after about a year of doing that, I really did learn a lot. But I know that I'm not always comfortable with that responsibility, and it actually adds a lot of pressure, and it makes me feel super trapped, which is something I'm not good at doing. Like, I need to have the freedom where if I want to, you know, up and leave someday, I'm not going to leave behind an entire business I just built from the ground up. And I think merging and going under them in that way was really helpful for my own mental health just to let go of that.

I don't even know responsibility in a sense, or, like, pressure and letting them kind of take the reins on it. And I learned from both of them every single freaking day that I'm in that studio. They are so smart. These women are completely opposite people. We got. I'm pretty sure she's either a 6 or a 9, right? And then the other one that I'm a lot like is definitely like an 8 or a 7, but they're complete polar opposite people. And I learn how to deal with clients. I learn how to organize my time. I learn how to coexist in a studio with a bunch of different personalities and how embrace seeing each personality can actually make for one Beautiful big picture versus, like, butting heads. Like, there's never really much heads budding. It's like more all of our different sides coming into one and creating something beautiful, which I really love.

I love that.

Okay, it's time for you to geek out. So we talk about astrology a lot. And I'm an Aries, you're a Capricorn, your brother's a Pisces, and. And I want to understand in your eyes what that looks like to bring in astrology into the Enneagram and how that kind of coexists together.

I definitely think astrology and the Enneagram have a lot to do with each other. I think that astrology is.

I think astrology is the science behind literally how the way you were born and the stars and the planets and the energy that goes into that exact date that you came to life. But then the Enneagram is straight up your personality type that has nothing to do with the time you were born or where you were born. You know what I mean? That's just your chemical makeup of who you are in your genes. And I think it's really cool to see the logical thinker, mathy person's version of Enneagram can be in my little, like, Zen out there, spiritual side of the. The zodiac and astrology. And I definitely think they go hand in hand where, like, And I have a friend, you and one of my friends, you guys are both Aries. She's a four, and you're an eight. Complete polar opposite people when it comes to your core personalities, because fours and eights couldn't be more opposite. But the Aries in both of you, it actually shines when it comes into, like, how you handle confrontation or how determined you are when it comes to a dream or goal and how passionate you are about certain things. That's all. Like your Aries. Like, Aries is a fire sign. So it's just full of passion, spontaneity, and determination. But it's kind of interesting when you have, like, a four who's more of, like, an introverted individual thinker. She navigates everything in silence. I have no idea what this girl is doing or thinking more than half the time. And then it's always going to be something beautiful at the end of the picture. And then I'm like, girl, what the. What the hell? You didn't even. I had no idea about any of this. Like, she had a boyfriend for, like, eight months, and I had no idea. And this is one of my best friends. But then I have my mom who's like an Aries 8. And it's like every navigated the exact same way as my other friend, but just way more out there and way more in your face. She talks her stuff into existence because if she doesn't, it's not. It's going to be secretive. And that's not good for the eight Aries, you know what I mean? Also.

In a sense of like me being a Capricorn, it's kind of helps me in my seven ways because if I was, I think literally any other sign, I'd probably be not as successful as I am because I wouldn't be as driven. And I think that's what I think the Zodiac has a lot to do. That the Enneagram doesn't is you can kind of blame things on your Zodiac. I know people don't like to say that, but I mean, it's literally your personality to the core. And I feel like the Enneagram just has a great way of adding framework to it. Framework, exactly. Framework to it. So without me being like a Capricorn, for example, I probably wouldn't be so level headed. I probably wouldn't be as great of a friend as I am. I'm. I'm honestly the best friend ever.

Just saying.

And I wouldn't be as great of a daughter as I am because it's like everything that I'm doing is always thought out and planned and I can brain map everything out, including other people's feelings and how they're going to react to what I'm saying or how they're going to react to a situation if it goes a certain way. And I think the Seven in me helps when all that stuff happens. I can bring the light at the end of the tunnel in a sense. You know what I mean?

I love it. So you've got about a quarter of a century here on Earth at this point, which is crazy. I can't believe you're. You're like 24 years old. I was 24 when you were born, so that's crazy. So you got a lot of life to live, obviously. How do you see you using the Enneagram, moving forward in your life?

Oh, I think I see it when it comes to my big hopes and dreams. I was just talking to someone about this like literally two days ago. I think the Seven is going to help me never feel stuck. I think I'm always going to have a fun life and I think that I'm always going to be doing something exciting, even when I'm old. And Gray.

I think it's going to help me when it comes to just actually being successful in the things I want to be successful in. I have big goals in my career and I think that with with being a 7enneagram, it helps me network and it helps me really connect with people and it helps me get my name out there more. And I think that that's going to have a lot to do with my success in the future someday. I mean, I already feel like I'm living the happiest life. So I think it's only going to go up from here.

Well, I personally want to thank you because it is you. I mean you are my greatest teacher, my greatest gift. I've always told you that. And it is because of you that 20 years ago, looking into your eyes and seeing how different we were, that I knew I needed to do some work on myself so that I could be a safe place for you to be exactly who you were designed to be. As a Capricorn enneagram 7 beautiful gift to this world. So you know this girl is who is responsible honestly for who you are seeing today. It is all her and the beautiful gift that you are. And I was sitting here watching you just speak so eloquently and I don't know if I've ever been more proud of you, quite honestly and just stepping into who you are as a woman and.

A daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover, a business associate to many. And I just want to personally thank you. You're amazing. So where can people find you?

Oh well one thank you mom. I love you so much. You're an amazing woman. And mom, another thing I wanted to say really quick was I feel like it's important. Something I'm really passionate about is inspiring women to be the best woman possible. Like girl power all day is my jam. And I think if it wasn't for my amazing mom being such a rock solid woman and not a passive get ran over person like always, instilling such strength in me leads me to where I am now. And I only hope I can inspire every woman that I come in contact with from here on out. Anyway, I wanted to get that off my chest.

You can find me on Instagram. Casey Nicole K A S E Y N I C O L E E E that's my just warning you. I do cuss a lot and talk about whatever I want so if you're offended easily I wouldn't follow it.

And then my business beauty page, you can follow the Pretty House studio or you can Follow Casey, Nicole, Beauty.

Both have my work on it, and my partners and my employers work. They're amazing in every way, so you should go check them out. And that's about it.

All right.

Or you can find me on any of my mom's Facebook posts, because she loves to tag.

Facts. Those are facts. I'm very, very proud to be your mom, so that's why I tag you. Plus, she's. Shut up.

Plus, she's beautiful.

I love it. I love it. So I know that many of you are like, okay, Trace, that's great. Like, and. And there was no bullshit. And I didn't not prompt her. I didn't tell her what to say at all. Trust me, this girl's got a mind of her own and always has.

I even was like, I don't want to talk about that. Don't even bring that up. That's lame. Yeah.

Yeah. That. Those are. That's. Those are some true facts. And if that is you and you really want to know how to utilize the great information, I know there's so many information on the Enneagram out there, but information doesn't equal transformation. And if you want to know how to take this beautiful gift and framework of the Enneagram and integrate it into your life, into your parenting, into your business, into your romance, into your friendships, find me on Instagram at tracyomalley. Or you can go to my website, Tracey O' Malley.com at the work with Me section, and we can do all things Enneagram and more there. It is amazing to watch your offspring really just be who they were meant to be and enjoy every little bit that life has to offer. It's honestly the best thing I've ever done is raising these two beauties and really getting outside of myself to be the very best for them and help them bring out the best in themselves. So if you love this episode, we would really appreciate you sharing it. If you really, really, really got something out of this episode and other episodes that we have done here on the Becoming Bulletproof podcast, please go leave a review. It would mean the world to me. Until next time, y'. All, here's to Becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram at traceeomally and I have tons of free resources for you@traceeomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become bulletproof.