117: All things SUBTYPES: One of the number one reasons why you are mistyped on the Enneagram

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof Podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to Millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up. Let's go.

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Hello, hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And today I wanted to talk about something that many of you that are even into the Enneagram may not be aware of. And it is one of the reasons why a lot of you are mistyped. It is something when we do typing sessions together that I really, really div into.

When I'm determining and helping you come to terms with your type. Because there is something in the Enneagram called subtypes. Sometimes they're also called instinctual variants, so it can lead to some confusion.

But this is why you can have two of the same types together and look totally different.

The subtypes of ourselves can have variation from time to time, whereas your main Enneagram type doesn't change, the instinctual variant can.

Usually it's pretty dominant in one way until we really do some work on ourselves.

Like early on in my life I definitely was one subtype and or one area of my life, I'm definitely one subtype, but as I've grown I can toggle between two pretty fluidly. But the subtypes really can alter what an Enneagram type looks like. And a lot of times this is the reason why many of you are mistyped. And.

When I let somebody know that their type is different than what they may have expected, usually I will guide them to take a look at this subtype because this is usually where things make a lot more sense. So maybe you didn't even know that this was part of the Enneagram. I've said this before, it is not complicated, but it is so complex and the Enneagram has so many different levels to it. And if you didn't know, now you know. Because we have obviously our main type, we have wings, we have levels of development. We have centers of intelligence, otherwise known as the triads. We have subtypes, we have tri types. But today I'm just going to be talking about all things subtypes, what they are, how they help.

And usually how. This is the determining factor on how I solidify what your type is when we do a typing session together. And if you, I guess I get so many people, so many of you are asking me, how do I know for sure what my type is? And, you know, like I've said before, you can take your time with this. It's not a plug and play. You take the assessment and boom, automatically, that's what your type is. I know many of you have done that, and that's why it's not making much sense to you, because 65 to 70% of the time you are mistyped. Subtypes have a lot to do with that. But honestly, the most effective, fast, efficient way with so much love that you can come about your type so that you can start using this beautiful tool effectively, is to have someone like me guide you through the process with so much compassion and love and no judgment. And I'm a vault too. So.

You know, anytime we do anything, having a guide obviously gets you to all the juicy parts of it. Like, anytime you go, like, sightseeing or on a tour, having a guide know all the secret ins and outs of anything that you want to visit obviously makes the experience a lot more enjoyable. And you can kind of just really take it all in. Whereas if you're navigating this on your own, this can be a lot harder. And so I would be honored to do that. And if you want more information on that, please hit me up in the DMs on Instagram, traceyomally, or you just know this is what you want to do. Go to my website, traceyomalley.com and go to the work with me section. We can do just a typing session, or I can take you through the whole enneagram experience, which is what I highly recommend, because not only do we determine your type, but I teach you and guide you through all the ins and outs of your type. And we usually touch on the people in your life too, during those sessions. So check that out. All right, So I like to think of the subtypes like this. You know, we each have an emotional pattern which is like a passion in Enneagram language. We have a passion or vice plus one of our basic human instincts. So there's three main subtypes. So if you're doing the math now you know there's nine basic Enneagram types and if each type has three subtypes, there are actually 90 or I'm sorry, 27 types. Right? Because within each type, so let's say you're a one, you could be a self preservation one, you could be a social one or a one to one, sometimes it's known as sexual and it doesn't mean sexual and like you know, sexy time. I'll explain that in a minute.

But if you do the math, nine times three is 27. Yes, there you have it. Let's break it down and talk about what the subtypes are as a whole and then I can get into the basic instincts and what that can look like. Subtypes. These basic human instincts, self preservation, social and one to one help to describe our core concern or focus for everyday lives. They also explain how we show up in the world and actually are really just as important as our type of. Like I said, having me being an eight and I bounce between self preservation and the one to one, I look very, very different than a social eight. And I'll get into more of that in a second.

It doesn't change your main type or your wings, but this is just another layer to help you figure out what type you are and also help you on the path of growth. Right. Like I said, a social 8 wing 7 looks very different than a self preservation 8 wing 7. But we're both still eights, right? So we can use all three of the subtypes, like I said before, but usually you are dominant in one of these subtypes.

I use my self preservation a lot when it comes to logistics, business, the home, how I interact in the tactical parts of life, very much self preservation, especially with finances. Huge.

As I've grown and allowed vulnerability to show I really that one to one. And I'll explain what that is in a minute. Really in my relationships, whether it's friendships.

My parenting, my love that I give out, it is very much that one to one, right? So like I said, one of these other subtypes usually comes next and then the third one is a more repressed and considered to be the blind spot. So my blind spot, if you're looking at me and how I stack my subtypes, social is my blind spot. So although you can have two that you use equally as much like I do, or you can switch between them like I do, depending on the circumstances. Because that's true for me. What is less common is relating and using all three. But it is not unheard of. You can. But social definitely is my last go to. Our instincts get triggered into action throughout the day and are the main driver for the things we do. So when our instincts, which is the passion or vice is in action, it sets our personality into action as well and how it gets expressed. And you've been listening for a long, long time. I've told you our types don't change, but how it gets expressed does. So the reason that the subtypes are so important is that once you know your subtype or somebody else's and this is like next level shit, I'm telling you, it's. This is why people think I read their mind and it's so valu and helping people grow.

You're able to understand their motivation behind the action at a next level and also what drives them internally. So not only do I understand their motivation by understanding what type I'm talking to, but I know I can tell because of the questions I ask what drives them internally. And this is how I get to the subtype and this is how I explain to people why they're mistyped. So this is really valuable. So here's the breakdown of the three subject subtypes. Reminder, self preservation, social and one to one. Otherwise known as the sexual subtype. So the self preservation subtypes are concerned with having enough resources, avoiding danger, having security and safety. And this can be material as well. Like I explained as far as finances go and my drive, this is why also.

I was possibly like this is why a lot of people might assume I'm a three, but I'm a self preservation eight. And this is kind of where I go into like achieving mode. So having security and safety can be material as well, can be focused on temperature, Shopping, decorating and other physical needs.

Tend to be more grounded, practical and serious. I would say today I probably play more in the one to one subtype today, but most of my life I was hardcore self preservation. No doubt about it. All right, if you are in the social subtype, you are concerned with belonging, recognition, relationships as they relate to social groups. I'm laughing as I am going through this because like none of these are very important to me, quite honestly, having a group to support them, focusing on how much power you have in the group, that one might come into play for me. A little bit aware of how our attitudes or your attitudes affect everyone else. And you want personal connection, staying in contact and reaching out to be involved with one another. That is absolutely my blind spot and something I've worked really, really hard on as well. The last subtype is the one to one or sexual. So all three subtypes desire intimate relationships, but just for different reasons. So the one to one are concerned with intense drive for intimacy. And as I have dabbled in intimacy more in the last three years, this definitely is my love language for sure. If you are a one to one, you are constantly aware of the chemistry between you and another person. You know, you pick up on energy. This is something that I was not as aware that I had this gift early on in my life. But it definitely is one of my greatest gifts today. If you are one to one, you quickly know if there is an attraction or lack thereof.

The one to ones are the most energized of the two subtypes. The one to one is also more competitive, aggressive, charged and emotionally intense.

As compared to the other two subtypes.

And a one to one needs deep relationships to be satisfied. Where most of my life I definitely was a lone wolf and kept people at arm's length the last three years, four years specifically.

I would much prefer a deep relationship than the self preservation part of me. So this is what is next level in understanding what this is about, the enneagram and understanding what the subtypes look like.

Also within that. And I'll do another episode on this. I want to keep this as simple as possible.

You know, this is really peeling back the layers. You know, if you look at the onion and the outer layers, your type and then the next layer might be your wings and then the next layer may be your stress number and the next layer may be your growth number. And that inner layer is like at our core of we are what internally drives us and that's where you find the subtypes. And you know, knowing very clearly at the end of the day what motivates you and you know, especially knowing your subtype will really allow you to have a deeper sense of, of what triggers you so deeply. And you know, there are certain areas that still trigger me in the self preservation part of me, not so much anymore.

Having security and being independent and not relying on anybody and being financially independent was a huge, huge thing for me as an 8 specifically. And then being a self preservation for a long, long time, but as I've gotten older, wiser.

Seeing my blind spots a little bit better, knowing that my need for deep relationships, which is so crazy today, but knowing that and knowing that that's a strength of mine and discerning that and, and trusting that inner knowing really has helped me grow like light years, especially the Last few years, like light years. And understanding your subtype will help your growth. Next level. It's one thing to just know your type and all the cute memes and all the cute behaviors and understanding that, and even understanding, you know, what.

What drives that, but the ability to understand when we're triggered and why, and going back to the roots of why, like you will be able to not only grow, but heal. And I'm telling you, when we can heal, we can love and serve and care from a level that feels so good. Even when we get hurt, or even when things go sideways, or even when we get blindsided by something. It is so, so important.

I think, that the subtypes also define the differences between people that share type more effectively than what wing you have. I think a lot of times, as the Enneagram is becoming more popular, people about the wings a lot. And the wings are, are great, and I've explained them before, is like tools in the tool belt. And they do a really beautiful job of describing people the same type in different ways. But really, that subtype provides a much better rationale for what two people of one. Of what two people of one type and why they can be so different. The wings flavor the main type, but they aren't, you know, such a static set of traits as they're sometimes presented as. But the subtypes provide a much better window into why people who share a type don't share all the same characteristics of that type.

And the other thing about the subtypes, usually there's one of the three subtypes that make the main type look completely different than all the typical behaviors or typical.

Stereotypes of each type. There's always one that's called a counter type, and I'm going to do a whole episode on that. But this, this is probably the number one reason why you're being mistyped. And quite honestly, unless you have a guide, it's going to be really hard to kind of sift through this.

Because there is so much mistyping and difficulty with typing when working with the Enneagram, even among some Enneagram gurus out there, finding your type can be a rich growth process in of itself. But when you have somebody not only who is an expert with the enneagram for 10 years, and yes, I will boldly say I'm an expert, but not only that, I'm just not an expert in information. I'm an expert, and this is where I'm different than most. I'm an expert in integration, and I definitely will stand toe to Toe with anybody on that. Not just using it in my own life, but helping other people do that too. And the fact that I'm almost 50 brings a lot of life experience and I know the questions to ask to get to the root of things pretty quickly. So I think that, you know, the subtypes help you clarify your personality at a, at a deep, deep, deep level. And you know, I've had a few people that have been mistyped and when I tell them to look into like a certain subtype, the aha moments, it almost brings them to tears because not only do they feel seen, heard and understood, but the love and compassion that they actually have for themselves and things make sense and, you know, how they're able to move the needle forward in how they lead, how they love the money they make, the health they have.

It's just so, so beautiful to watch somebody even in my age group like have an aha moment that is life changing for them.

You know, there's not a lot of people talking about the subtypes because it is complex and there are harder questions. I mean, you have to get vulnerable and answer questions and really look in the mirror and, and be honest. And that's hard to do for yourself. Lord knows Shit. For 40 years I could not tell myself the truth. No way. But having somebody that cares deeply about helping you with a next level self awareness so that you can have the transformation you've been striving for your whole life. And especially in the land of personal development coaches and gurus and so much awareness and strategic marketing to tell you like, there's something going on with you.

You know, it's. It's definitely something that I am honored to take you on that journey. I might do another episode of breaking down the 27 subtype personalities. I think I will do that on a separate episode. But I really wanted you to understand that there is a next level. And this is one of the number one reasons why you're being mistyped. And if you are wanting to say, okay, I just want to know what the heck I'm dealing with so I can use this beautiful tool, then reach out to me on Instagram. Tracy O'. Malley. I'm on Facebook, LinkedIn, all the things too, but go to my website, Tracy O' Malley.com go to the work with me section. And I would be absolutely honored to walk this journey with you. It's beautiful to watch so many of you. I've helped thousands of people, thousands of people with the Enneagram now in their leadership. Whether it's in your home or in your business, go next level. And next level looks very different than what you might expect.

And it's a beautiful surprise for so many that have linked arms and taken this journey with me. And it's beautiful because I know what's coming, but not everybody does. And that's a beautiful gift that you give yourself. And if you're tired of banging your head in the wall and feel like, my God, I keep going to these events, I keep reading these books, I keep listening to these fricking podcasts. And yeah, it's great information, but information doesn't equal transform. And it's time that you link up with somebody who's the master at integration. And if you haven't figured it out yet, that is me. So I would be honored. And you know, it's the self awareness thing. I've always been kind of self aware, even as like a nine year old, but I didn't always know what to do with it and I was afraid of it. I was afraid of my own self awareness. And you might be afraid of yours too, or you're afraid to really look at it, or you might have some shame around it. And I'm telling you right now that you don't have to. You can use this self awareness that maybe you have or maybe you need somebody to guide you to.

But it's there that your superpowers lie. It is there. And when you understand your superpowers and you look at it through the eyes of love and compassion and empathy and service and grace, that is when your life starts to shine. And everybody you touch feels that love and light from you. Which, you know what, why the hell else are we here, right? So I would be honored to take this journey with you. If you got something from this episode, it would mean the world to me. If you let me know what that is, I want to continue to bring you more of what you need. I am so excited to start doing live coaching on air and live typing coachings on air. There will be more information to come on that. How cool would that be to unpack your stuff and not only hear it live on air, but also help others along the way in their journey. And those can be done anonymously. You don't even have to give your name if you don't want to. But it's pretty cool. I look forward to that. And also you'll hear from people that I've been coaching for the last few years on the Enneagram and how much clarity they got in going through the process and how they use the Enneagram today to really pivot and go next level in their lives, in their leadership and love and business and all of it. So I'm excited to bring all of that to you. If you are loving this podcast, it would mean the world to me if you left a review on itunes or any of the other platforms. Five stars. If you feel it deserves that, you can give it one star if you feel it deserves that too. I'm all about being honest, so it would mean the world to me if you've gotten something out of this episode or if you've shared it with somebody.

Obviously that's one of the greatest compliments that you can give me is sharing this with people that you think would benefit from it. I know that everything I've been through in my life has mattered for something. Even the most hard and painful and hurtful things have mattered for something. And I want you to know that all of your hard, painful things matter too. And so when you share this with other people, it shows me even more so that all the things that I've been through in almost 50 years of my life definitely here happen for something. So until next time y', all, here's to becoming Bulletproof.

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