123: The Sweet Spot to your Personal Growth that no one is talking about and how the Enneagram can make the messy parts matter even more

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert, and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

Let's go.

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Welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast and today is going to be a quickie for you. I have told this story a lot and you know, with the popularity of the Enneagram and people wanting to use it in business and family, families and just all over the place, it is the greatest personal development tool I have used in my 20 years of personal development and specifically the last decade. But you know, the one downfall and the one problem with the Enneagram is the amount of mistyping that goes on or maybe not using it in integrity or the way that it was meant to. This is a beautiful, beautiful tool to really not only have compassion, love, empathy, understanding, grace for yourself, but every person that you come in contact with, even people that have hurt you. And.

You know, I think more than ever, we are aware that shit's got to change in our life, right? Self awareness is so, so important, but it's only good if we know what to do with it, right? And I think in the world that we live in today and the way that we're marketed to, for sure, we are aware there's a fucking problem. We are aware that something's got to give, something's got to change. We are very aware that something maybe isn't working as well as we would like it to in our life. For all my Enneagram threes out there, you're always looking to improve something. And same with my ones like you get. We are aware and at a heightened level that things got to change, right? And so then the way that we're marketed to, especially with everything at our fingertips, is I can solve your problem in 2.2 seconds. Just buy my course, take my product, you know, do this, you'll lose weight and you'll lose all your weight. You'll you'll find love. You'll make a million dollars in two seconds. Like, everything is being marketed. Like, if you do this, then I can solve your problem. Now, is that true? We have to have awareness. That's the first step, right? I mean, even in recovery, like, being aware that, like, my life has become unmanageable. Like, you have to be aware before you can change anything, right? But I think so often we are aware and then we just want very rapid action. Like, just tell me what I need to do. We want the quick fix. We want the microwave mentality kind of things. We want it to happen yesterday. And I'm not like dismissing that. We do want that. And the truth is we can move the needle pretty quickly, right? But there's this middle part that nobody really wants to talk about and nobody wants to sell you on. And quite honestly, it's been something that's come up for me because I know that this middle part is where true transformation happens, where the sustainable transformation happens, where the transformation where you actually feel really freaking good about it and you quit doing the cycle of two steps forward, four back, two forward, four back. Because if we just focus on what we're aware of and then just take quick action to just make it go away, make it stop, change a few things. If we don't understand how and why we are where we are to begin with, we're just kicking the can down the street.

This middle part of acknowledging and really taking a look back to connect the dots, not to linger there, not to put ourselves back in the pit, not to beat ourselves up more, not to run us over and then reverse and run us over again. This acknowledgement piece is not that. But we have to look back to connect the dots so that we can make sense and really reverse engineer how and why we do what we do in order for us to take the action that's sustainable and that feels good. With compassion, with love. You know, I've told many people that I have coached over the years, you know, the very gifts that I have, they are my superpowers today. My intensity is my superpower when it's coming from love, compassion, empathy, grace, and service. Now, that same intensity can be a wrecking ball when it's coming from fear, insecurity, doubt, ego, unworthiness. If we just jump from awareness to action, a lot of times we're operating out of fear, worry, all that other stuff. That's when those very things that used to work stop working. It's why we go back to them. This acknowledgement piece How I like to explain it is this. You know, when I was six years old, I've told the story to a few people. It's, it's hard to hear, but this kind of sets the tone on where things were for little Tracy back in the day. When I was six years old, I was playing on a jungle gym and I fell. I was trying to do some, probably some coordinated penny drop, which I am not coordinated at all. I am very athletic, but not coordinated. And I fell and landed, threw my left arm out and landed funky and broke my arm. And I'm a lefty. So as a six year old, I wasn't, you know, I was at a neighbor's house, so I went home. But on my way home, I made the decision that I wasn't going to tell anybody that I broke my arm. Even little T, as a six year old knew like, okay, if I bring this up, one of two things are going to happen. Either there's going to be a fight because I wasn't supervised, or there's going to be a fight about money. Because now this, like this is broken. It's going to cost something to fix. So for two days I didn't tell anybody that I broke my arm and nobody really noticed either. And it was broken enough that by the time I had it fixed, I mean, the cast went up to my shoulder so it wasn't just like a little tiny break. But anyway, obviously two days later, little Tracy at 6 years old could not hide the fact that her dominant hand was and her arm was broken. And sure enough, the fight broke out. And you know, there was a fight for not being supervised, a fight that it was going to cost money. And if you've ever broken a bone and if you don't get it set right away, do you know what they need to do?

I'll wait. They need to go in and re break it and you see it coming. And although it was excruciating and horrible and terrifying as a six year old, I'm really grateful that they re broke my arm so they could set it properly because if they let it just heal the way it was like that for two days, then I wouldn't have the optimal use of my arm. And so I'm really grateful they rebroke it. But it was really, really painful in the moment because I saw it coming. It was like reliving it all over again. But in order for it to do what my arm was meant to do, it needed to set properly. So thankfully they reset it. The cast was up to my shoulder, like I said. And I'm happy to report my southpaw works just fine. I can still even throw probably about an 80 mile an hour fastball if I really work hard at it. So my point of the story is this is our heart early on in our life, probably even before 6 years old. Mine, I can pinpoint to 4 years old when the first time my heart really got broken. So often our heart gets broken early on. Little things along the way, sometimes big things, sometimes accumulation of things. And unfortunately, along the way, it doesn't get set properly. So our heart is kind of pieced together in a way that just gets by and it doesn't work the way that it was meant to. A lot of times we learn coping mechanisms. We learn all these different ways of dealing to protect it, the vulnerabilities of our heart. And so what I love about the Enneagram and how I help people use it in that acknowledgment centerpiece. I call it the wilderness too. Sometimes, right? Like sometimes it's really dark and scary in the wilderness. But sometimes we have to look back and re break our heart a little bit so that we can set it properly so that our heart can operate the way it was always meant to. Not so damn afraid, not so damn guarded. All the things that I know that I have used to protect the vulnerabilities of my heart, the more that I continue to go in and rebreak the pieces and the parts that maybe weren't set properly, even though it's painful in the moment, and I see it coming, and I don't love to go there, but I know the end result means that I can open up my heart to people I care about, to people I work with, to people I love, to people I meet, to strangers on the street, to anybody. And a lot of us are operating with a pieced together heart. And what the Enneagram has taught me is really, and it's really given me the skill set not just for myself in that acknowledgment piece, but it's allowed me to facilitate that for thousands and thousands of other people. And when they have the.

Willingness and the trust that we're going to go in and re break a few things, it's not hard. I mean, moments, it hurts for moments. But to have the longevity of a free operating, unguarded, wildly passionate heart, it's so worth it to connect the dots. What this also does is it keeps us from some of these patterns that keep creeping up, like the shame, the guilt, the Self sabotage, the procrastination, all the things that hold you back or the playing small, all those things get healed in this acknowledgment part. But so many of you just have this awareness. This is the problem with personal development today, is we have this awareness that something's up. Something's up. Now, who can sell me the course, the infomercial, the quick fix to make this go away, make the pain stop. And the fact is, we do need to go in and rebreak a few things so that it can heal the right it the proper way, and so it can operate so you can operate in the way that you were always designed to to begin with. So I know that many of you listening know this to be true. You know, there's this missing piece that nobody's selling you, that nobody wants to talk about because it's messy. I can't promise you how it's going to feel. I can't promise you how long it's going to take. But I can promise you this, that the transformation, the growth, the love, the abundance, the everything that you're searching for is in this acknowledgment piece. And this is my zone of genius. This is where I spend most of my days helping people is in this part. And it is gentle and soft and loving and passionate and all these things that probably what I notice with many people that I am so blessed to work with is for the first time in their life, they truly feel seen, heard, understood, and guided in the direction that they always wish they were. It doesn't mean that everybody was shitty to us as kids. It doesn't mean that my parents were great people. They really, really were. They're amazing.

They were kind of doing the best they could, too. And even though we understand that people did the best they could with us and we can understand and cognitively understand, I understood this shit when I was nine years old. But if we don't allow ourselves to feel it.

Even the rebreaking, if we don't feel it, we can't heal it. You can't. And if you don't heal it, you're going to be operating in damage control all the time. And that is that. That takes a lot more energy.

It really does. A lot more destruction than it does positive. So if this is something you want to dive into, you can continue to dive into this podcast if this is the first time you're listening to this podcast. Thank you and welcome. If you have been a longtime listener and this hits you maybe in a way that the Others haven't go back and listen. But this is really, really an important part. I know whenever I tell that story about my broken arm that there's some aha moments for people. It's hard to tell because I know what that can sound like. It's like, holy shit. And especially if you're a parent, you can't even imagine. But that just tells you kind of like how things were operating for me. And. And I know many of you have stories, maybe not like that, but along the same lines where you were maybe not seen, heard or understood or whatever. Insert the blank. But I would be honored to take you through the journey to really put the pieces together, piece your heart back together so that you can have everything that you want and desire and deserve for your life. You deserve to freely love the way that you want to. You deserve to make all the money in the world that will allow you to make the impact that you want. You deserve to break the patterns of history in your families. You deserve to have the most beautiful health and joy and peace that you've always desired. And there's no bypassing it. I can tell you all day long. You can go from awareness to action all day long. But it is a bypass. And I tell you this because Lord knows I've tried. So if you are ready to take a little dive into connecting the dots, I promise you it's a beautiful, gentle, loving process. Hit me up in the DMs on Instagram. Traceyomalley. You can go to my website@tracyomalley.com the work with me section. I would be honored to to take you through that. And coming soon on the podcast will be live typing sessions, so be on the lookout for that. I know that there are many of you that are raising your hand saying I want to be one of the ones. I want to be one of the ones. There will be a criteria. There will be a small investment to do that, but I am sure that even if you aren't one of the ones that get typed on air, just listening into the process will help you discover yours. Until next time, here's to Becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tag me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you. You can find me on Instagram @traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work.

Let's become bulletproof. Sam.