127: All things Energy: Finding harmony between our masculine and feminine energies using the Enneagram

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur.

And master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building.

A bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in.

The ass, you will discover that here.

Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

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All right everyone. We are talking all things energy. It is like the cool like woo woo buzzword. But it's one of those things that especially the more development you do, you can fall in love with somebody's energy. It has nothing to do with their appearance. It has nothing to do with their status. It has nothing to do with any of that. But when you know you're around beautiful, beautiful energy, you're drawn to it. And this is something that I, it is one of my, my gifts is recognizing energy, not just in all of you and anybody I come in, come across with, but, but myself.

And having a harmonious balance between the masculine and feminine energy we all have. Both men have feminine energy and masculine energy, and women have masculine energy and feminine energy. And both are important and both are equally powerful. And just like when we talk about the Enneagram, you know, sometimes in our type of, you know, sometimes our basic type, tools don't always work. And that's why we have beautiful things like the wings and our subtypes and where we go in growth and where we go in stress. So it can take on all these different expressions of our main type. And the same is true for masculine and feminine energy. And today I'm gonna tell you what the Enneagram has to do with that. The Enneagram has really been a tool for me to navigate the harmony between my masculine and femin. Now, growing up most of my life, very, very early on, from about the age, I'd say six on, I pretty much 90% of the time lived in my masculine energy because it was protective, it was like walls up, all of that. And there are some instances where that masculine energy definitely thrives for sure, but more often than not, because there wasn't harmony in it and because that masculine Energy was coming from a place of fear and security, unworth, doubt, lots of ego. It actually did more harm than good. And you've heard me probably say before, you know, we each have our superpowers. And when it's coming from love, compassion, empathy, grace, service, that's when it's a superpower. But that same superpower can become a wrecking ball when it's coming from fear, insecurity, doubt, unworthiness, shame, guilt, ego. And same is true with the masculine and feminine energy. So when a man has strong, healthy feminine energy, he is actually more powerful beyond measure because he has the ability to connect with everyone. And same thing for a female who has healthy masculine energy, which today I'm happy to report I do have that, because she can get shit done and handle stuff, all while being able to harmoniously tap into that beautiful feminine energy. So each, each of us have a beautiful blend of the two. No one is entirely masculine or entirely feminine. We all have both. And, and sometimes we have a mix of both in us to different degrees. And I'll break into kind of what this looks like with the enneagram, but I wanted to kind of explain what this all means. If you're kind of new to personal development or if you're a guy listening, I want you to keep listening because this stuff is really, really important for business. It is imperative for business to lead effectively. It's imperative in your homes, especially if you're a father or if you have a partner in life.

And ladies, all my entrepreneurial women out there that are living in that masculine energy, I see you because I was.

You need to hear this very, very clearly because it's really important you don't break the spirit of your children or emasculate your male partner or your female partner, if that's the case. And in business, connection is the key to success in a lot of ways. And emotional intelligence is the key to success. So if you can find harmony between your two energies, this is the secret sauce. So we all have masculine and feminine energies in our energy bodies. And you know, it has nothing to do with gender. And we both sexes can tap into both essences. But typically, one of these energies is dominant and it isn't necessarily based on your sex, because for me, as a female, like I stated, my masculine energy tends to come to the surface a lot more, more than the feminine. However, I will say the more that I dive into my growth and surrender and have divine trust, I actually, I'm so happy to report that I'm in my feminine Energy that the tables have turned. Let's just say now, don't get me wrong, I can pull out my masculine energy pretty easily. And that's when this works really, really well. So typically one of these is dominant, like I said. And maybe you have a friend who is male or like I'm thinking about my son right now, and he absolutely does not struggle to express his feelings right. Or if there's a female like me who has the go, go, go mindset, which is based in that masculine energy. So you can see where a man and woman can predominant be predominantly feminine or masculine. But I want to kind of give you the difference. So all my men out there, I was like, I don't want to be in my feminine energy. It's a gift before you say anything else, and it's really, really, really important. And ladies, it is important for you too. For me, before 10 years ago, if I had heard the, the term feminine energy, I'd be like that. I am not going to be some weak ass pushover. That was before I was woke. And when I was ignorant and stubborn and prideful and scared, quite honestly, I would have judged feminine energy as weak. And actually it's the most powerful energy when utilized elegantly. So what is feminine energy? Well, when you have feminine energy, it is dynamic, it flows. You're able to move through things. Your moves can't be predicted necessarily or always explained with your rational mind unrestricted by social norms, because you don't feel like you have to follow any rules other than the guidance coming from your heart.

And that's. It's kind of like a river, you know, sometimes quiet and patient and other times strong and rumbling. But the core feminine energy is a creation out of thin air. And unlike the masculine energy.

Feminine energy doesn't need to apply, you know, a lot of different steps for manifestation. It's just an embodiment of the frequency of which you want to experience. And then when you're in that feminine energy, this is where manifestation, like the magnetic stuff happens in your life. So men out there, this is really important, whether it's for love or money or business. Like, this is where flow happens, where like you're a magnet to all the things beautiful, whether it's love, money, anything, because nothing can resist your, your nature, and so it's yours. So this is why you don't need to necessarily go out in the world to get it. You just embody it and it'll come your way.

You know, like I said, I used to believe that feminine energy was weak. But it's actually so powerful and it comes from your soul and knowing who you are. That feminine energy does not fear the shadows, you know, enjoying facing the inner demons, because you can recognize that that's where you meet your inner power in places where we're most unwilling to travel. And it took me 40 years to get here. And now, even though the feminine energy, it's, it's super raw and vulnerable, but that's where all the beauty and growth happens. It's where I find my soul's calling all over again. Before life came and got a hold of me and kicked the shit out of me a little bit. And I know that that's the same for you. That feminine energy can see the possibilities that are invisible to the structured masculine energy. So that masculine energy is very tactical, and I was a very tactical person, not really leaning into this gift of intuition that we all have. So when you're in that feminine energy, you can create opportunities that are, that don't make sense to logic. Like, you know all those intuitives out there, like, this is what this means. Like leaning into your intuition and not letting that masculine energy, logical reverse engineering bullshit take over. I mean, there's a time and place for that, but you don't want to block your miracles from happening because you're afraid or you're an ego like I was most of my life.

It's, it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. This is kind of where you can bend the rules. Like, it's like no stupid ideas in this energy because it needs expression and creation and without it, it dries up. The feminine energy also recognizes when it's time to destroy and let go of the old and to make room for what's new. And that's why it can feel so vulnerable and scary sometimes. But it's so damn beautiful the more that you just lean into.

Also knows when it's time to slow down and nurture new products, ideas herself.

I remember thinking like my body craving the slowdown, but because I had, I had in my head that that was a weakness. That's when my masculine energy, masculine energy would just take over and, and try to dominate it. Because that feminine energy doesn't suppress emotions. And this is why I'm so passionate about the Enneagram, because it helps you have emotional intelligence and knowing when to tap into the femin, when to tap into the masculine.

That energy also knows that these emotions or feelings are valuable messengers not just for yourself, but the people that you love and lead. And this is when you can really take the lesson in the feminine energy is not afraid to feel. And that energy feels a lot. And this is where you really meet your soul. It's beautiful. The feminine energy also perceives time a little bit differently.

It's more in the circular rather than linear. It's where everything is interconnected and moves through its own cycles. And that feminine feminine energy is not about how to get from point A to point B, which is very masculine energy and tactical. Right. It's more about how to get to any destination, even if it's not on the map. Right. And it's in that feminine energy where, damn it, if we need to create a whole new path, that's where this happens. And it happens beautifully, elegantly lighter and a lot faster. So what is the masculine energy again? Both men and men and women have both of these energies. The masculine energy is stable and more predictable. The strengths are definitely willpower, grit, clarity, focus. It likes to create structures and rules, which is important whether it's in love and leadership. It's so, so important. And it needs this so it knows how to apply that logic accurately. Another way to look at the masculine energy is as knowledge. Whereas the feminine energy is just that, inner knowing. Right? So the masculine, like I said, is tactical. The feminine is more the intuition that we all have. Knowledge is, has the very precise dimensions and exact design. While knowing is forever changing in the feminine.

It'S not a level of knowledge to be achieved because once you get there, it opens new possibilities and that inspires you to grow further.

The pure masculine energy has the gift of clarity. So it knows what it needs, what needs to be done to achieve something. There's really not a lot of confusion or lack of direction that blinds the masculine because it can cut with the sword of knowledge through any unclarity. It's kind of like the bull in the china shop, right? The masculine energy is a master of planning and laying out the guidelines that are based on logic and experience. That masculine energy.

Which is where I lived, is very protective of self, of others.

It's where you can smell danger from afar. This is where you can make sure nothing threatens you or the people you love or lead. The masculine energy fights for what is loved and finds a way to achieve the goals. Since clarity and focus are one of the greatest gifts of the masculine energy. This is the brutal, honors, honesty, right? Doesn't want to buy likeness, doesn't care what others think, because that masculine, masculine energy stands up for the right things, very direct, decisive. Masculine energy.

Says what, what is thought and doesn't belittle to play any games. And if others don't like it, tfd tfb.

Too fucking bad, right? Another beautiful gift of the masculine energy is righteousness, right? The masculine does the right thing, even if it means more hardship.

The masculine energy is perfect for shaping fate into destiny and following life's purpose. But sometimes following life's purpose means that we need to make compromises and leave from places we love, but no, they no longer serve us. And the masculine energy thinks in the linear mode. So this is where, when we know what like, like if you want to get to C, the masculine energy knows to go from A to B first, right? This is following a plan, tactical.

And this is where, like the pivots can happen. So how does this apply to the enneagram? And how do you navigate this? Right, Each enneagram type is more stereotypically feminine or masculine or both.

And, you know, there's a lot of different components. And this isn't, you know, hard and fast and hard and true, because I know some of these types that definitely.

Fall into not the stereotypical. And that usually has to do with subtypes. So if you are one of these types, and I'm saying you're in the feminine, but it doesn't make sense for you. A lot of that has to do with the counter types that I have done episodes about before. So just know these are just some guidelines. And, you know, wings have a lot to do with this also.

So typically the more masculine energy types, where it dominates more more, are the eights, the sevens and the fives. The more feminine energy typically is the nines, the fours and the twos, because they're like fours are the most intuitive on the Enneagram.

Twos are very intuitive. Nines are very intuitive to certain situations where, like the eights, the sevens and fives just power through a lot of the times. And it looks different for all three. So the ones that kind of don't have one dominant, but they're more teeter, tottering between the two and toggling between the twos are the ones, the threes and the sixes. Okay. And again, this can look very different for others. So how does an 8 that's typically more masculine lean into the feminine? Well, an eight in a growth pattern takes on the healthy too. So that's where. And as long as you're growing, you can tap into that. Also, an 8 can have a 9 wing, which is the more feminine side. It doesn't mean that it. It is always there, you know, because I tend to be a more tactical person, but the more that I grow myself, actually, I. This is why I am in my feminine energy a hell of a lot more at this point. But my masculine energy is always there. Now, how does a 7 balance and find harmony between the masculine energy and the feminine? Well, a seven in a growth pattern.

Takes on the five, which is still more masculine energy. But in a. In under stress, it goes to the one, which can be a little bit of the hardcore feminine energy. But the beautiful thing about the seven is, you know, it's got a six wing too, which also is that beautiful feminine energy that is accessible to it. The thing about the sevens, even though they're more of an assertive type, like, anything is possible in a seven's mind, and they don't want to be trapped in any situation. So I believe sevens have an easier time tapping into their feminine than innate just because they have so many grand ideas.

Okay, so like I said, the eights, the seven fives will come across having more masculine energy. The eights being aggressive and gutsy. The sevens are more hedonistic, and the fives being more logical. So people who have the nine, a lot of nine, four or two, will come across as having the more feminine essence, twos by being more supportive and expressive, man or women, men or man or woman, nines being more yielding or conflict, conflict avoidant. And the fours being emotionally.

Receptive and introspective. And like I said, the fours are the most intuitive on the Enneagram. The peoples who. The people who have a lot of the six, one or three, will come across as having more of a balance between the two.

Or rather, sometimes they'll depend on their gender and personal values. They may come across as either more feminine or more masculine. For instance, threes will generally try to be an extreme version of their gender. So sometimes the women are often hyper feminized and the men are hyper masculinized in appearance, though the women do retain an ambitious drive and assertiveness that is a bit masculine. And the men's appearance is rather metrosexual, which is also a bit feminine. Right.

So.

You know, with the feminine core types, I kind of touched on the masculine ones, you know, where they can take on both at nine with the one wing, the four with a three wing.

The nine with an eight wing can kind of take on the masculine. The four with that five wing can be in their masculine energy. So you can see where each type can tap into it. And the goal is to get to the healthiest version of Yourself so it's easier to toggle between them and use your wings access, you know, very almost like on autopilot, you know, because your basic type, you can kind of use those tools in your sleep, you know, and you know them so well, but sometimes the tools that you know so well aren't the right ones for the job. And so using these wings to really tap into it will really help. So like the twos with the three wing, right?

So the ones that kind of balance between the, the two, you know, the sixes, ones and threes, how they're able to lean into their masculine sometimes, like that one can lean into the nine for some more feminine or the one can lean into the twos, you know, the ones can be very, very assertive. And you know, a one in a growth pattern takes on the healthy seven. Like when they lean into that healthy version of themselves, they do embody the healthy enthusiast, which is the more mascul masculine of the types, you know, for themselves. You know, a three leaning into a four wing can, you know, instead of being so type A all the time and like goal driven, they can lean into their intuition with that four wing. One of my best friends has this combination. It's beautiful. Or a three with a two wing. That's where they can also, you know, tap into their sensitive intuitive nature. And where these ones that really are pretty balanced can lean into the masculine, the six when they lean into their seven wing and even the six leaning into the five wing. So that's the beautiful part of this and how a six can lean into their feminine. So a six in a growth pattern when they're, when they're moving towards growth, which doesn't always feel natural, they can embody the healthy nine, which is the peacemaker. And so, you know, when I catch myself.

Knowing that my tactical ways, I mean, even though that's more natural for me.

The fact that I can embody my feminine energy a lot more means that I have both really unlocked and loaded at all times, which is a beautiful gift. So the goal is whatever your dominant energy tends to be.

To learn how to access the other energy. So if you lean into feminine energy a lot.

Using your wings, your subtypes, your growth patterns, to access the other types so that you can be more effective in the way you love, the way you lead, you know, depending on the children you're raising, sometimes I need to bring out my masculine energy and lay down the law. More often than not, though, to be a more effective parent, where my children in their 20s feel seen heard and understood requires that feminine energy a lot more than it needs the masculine energy. I grew up in a household with my dad, which was all there was zero feminine energy going on.

And it was hard to feel seen, heard and understood at all when that's just dominating that. Trust me, that masculine energy is equally important because it makes people feel protected and safe and like if shit goes sideways, it's going to get handled. That's why it's important. And you don't lose your shit and fall apart, you know, when it's in a healthy version. But it also can create a lot of uncertainty and destruction in there. So the goal in using the enneagram and knowing your type and why this is why getting typed properly is so darn important. I know I hear from you all the time. You're in my inbox, in my DMs and my email all the time confused about your type. And you've taken free tests online and paid tests and it always comes up different and it doesn't make sense. And I get it it. And if you're gonna tackle this on your own, by all means, please do. But no, it's not based on a test score. Take the time to really look at the motives of all of them.

But like with anything, the easiest way is with a guide. And I would be honored. I do typing sessions damn near every day of the week and there is nothing like the aha moments when I'm looking across at you through zoom and explaining where you land in your type. And I give you tools on how to access the feminine and masculine, how to use your wings, how to use your subtypes, where you go in growth and what that looks like when you want to resist it or when you sabotage growth, how to not do that. And you know, it's just like anything when you have a guide, it just makes it an easier process. It doesn't mean you're not going to be resistant. Lord knows I don't like to be told what to do. And so guides for me most of my life weren't a great thing, but it if I had just surrendered to that, it would have been a lot easier. So I'm telling you, if you really want to utilize this and know how to navigate and really find harmony in the masculine and feminine energy and know how to elegantly use both energies so that you can be a master connector, so that you can tap into that intuition and blaze your own beautiful trail and have certainty on your soul's path. That's what the enneagram is all about, in my opinion is really finding the roadmap for your personal soul and also knowing how to use that masculine energy in a beautiful healthy way where it does feel protective, where it is tactical, where it does handle shit. It's a beautiful flow when you know how to use it. And so getting typed properly is your first step. Pretty soon I'm going to be offering typing workshops for all of you that maybe don't want to do the one on one with me. Maybe you're a little scared, maybe it doesn't fit into the budget for you. And so typing workshops are coming soon. It's going to be limited amount of students in one session, but it'll be beautiful because not only will you find your type, but you're going to hear about the other types and watch how I navigate the typing process for the other types. And I think that that will help you understand maybe those that you leave and lead and love a little bit better. But the best way to get nailed down with your type is a typing session with me. You can go to my website traceeomally.com at the work with me section. You'll find the information there. I do something called the Enneagram Experience where not only do we do your typing, but then I take you through five full blown sessions where like deep dive into all parts of your Enneagram type and we, we even I'm really good and really effective that we can even touch on, you know, what's happening in your home, your, your romantic life, your parenting life, your business life. We talk a lot of business on those calls. So the Enneagram experiences is, is available for you as well if you really are ready and you're tired of playing small and you know a lot of the things in personal development and courses and even coaches maybe you've hired that, you know, you know, it's more entry level stuff. I, I like to say, you know, you know, some of this stuff is like kindergarten like journaling and meditation and manifestation and the I am statements are all beautiful. It's better than not doing it. But that is like entry level, like grade school stuff as far as personal growth important. Yes. You know, and then there's some like bringing really into awareness some of the stuff that's going on. If you are ready to do the master's program and you are done playing small and you are done with the five steps forward, 10 back and you're tired of beating yourself up, then I highly recommend you fill out an application for one on one coaching I don't take everybody. I get lots of applications for that, but I only take those that I know absolutely are ready for it. And that's where, when you get daily access to me, it's enneagram on steroids, plus all the, you know, performance and emotional stuff, like you get the whole shebang. And that's where really sustainable lifelong change happens. Not just in your personal life, but your bank account. It affects everything. The ripple effect of that kind of work really is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And coming soon on the podcast, you're going to start hearing live typing sessions. So if that's something that interests you, you can reach out@inforacyomalley.com or you're going to start hearing real life clients that I've coached through the Enneagram and one on one to hear how this has really made a crazy impact in their businesses and their personal life and all of it. Because I don't want to just give you strategy to build a business. Because if you don't have the emotional intelligence, none of that matters. I'm telling you right now. You'll burn the bridges and you'll burn the boats. So what I do with you is.

Is the kind of work that changes every aspect of your life for the better. And it doesn't feel like you're wearing all these different hats and feeling so compartmentalized. If you are tired, the energetic bankruptcy that that takes to wear all the different hats and compartmentalize your life, then the one on one coaching is for you. And you can find information that@traceyomalley.com the work with me section. So, ladies and gentlemen, really learn and know that finding harmony between the masculine energy and the feminine energy is where emotional intelligence is, is residing. It is where we become master connectors that we can manifest everything that we've ever wanted. And that masculine energy allows us to be tactical and get it done. It's such a beautiful kind of flow that I am so grateful that I was willing 10 years ago to lean in and to really recondition the beliefs that that feminine energy is actually where all the power is. The masculine energies. It just executes the power, right? But you need both.

And I know there's so many of you that are listening right now struggling with that. And the reason I know is because I, I was you. And I can see it. I can see it very clearly. I can feel it in your energy. This is, this is my spiritual gift today, is feeling the energy. I know even if you're smiling or plowing through things or or even in your woo woo like I can feel when there is not harmony between the two and my goal is to help you navigate it all and so reach out. I would be honored to walk this journey with you and until next time, here's to Becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@tracyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life.

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