128: Building AND Flexing your Personal Development Muscles Using the Enneagram

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof.

Buckle up, let's go.

So let me guess. You've been doing this personal developing stuff for a while now. You've hired coaches, you've joined masterminds, you've gone to events, you've done all of it. And you do have some movement change. You're able to move the needle, you're able to make some money, right? You're, you're able to attract in the friendships, the love, all the things, yet there's something missing. You can't sustain it. It's not long before you go back into an old pattern. You get triggered, right? Trust me, I know. And we're going to talk about this very thing today. You know, in the personal development world where I see see a problem, there's a lot of problems. I see it's beautiful because I mean, I'm a first generation personal developer. You know, if you're a Gen Xer, we didn't have parents that did all this personal developing, right. If you're a more of a millennial, you might, you got a 50, 50 shot if one of your Gen X parents decided to do some work on themselves that you at least have some kind of role model in. That doesn't mean it's always good. It doesn't mean that personally developed parents are better than the other. Isn't necessarily true. There's all different dynamics with that. However, you know, when we go into this personal development space or we're marketed to, a lot of times we're like, if I just do this or if I just go here, if I just hire this person, I'm going to have this unlock and it isn't always the case. And sometimes that can leave us, you know, going down the shame spiral, right? Like I've invested all this money in this time. I thought this person would be the answer, this person could guide me to this destination that I so badly want. I've done it. I've even done it with therapists. I mean, we're in a society today that we just want to be easy and fast. It's, I mean, Amazon. You can order something today and have something at your door in 17 minutes. I've done it. 17 minutes. And that's kind of how we want our development to go. Whether it's physical development, emotional development, spiritual development, financial development, we want it now or yesterday. And, you know, I've. I've used this analogy a lot in my coaching and in conversations that I have around building these muscles, right? We have to build our spiritual muscle muscles, our emotional muscles, our physical muscles. And we don't go into the gym one day, so to speak, and show up at the Olympics the next day. We have to have an unconditional commitment to the process. Not only that, we can be building the muscle in the gym all this time. We can be working out. We could be in the practice squad. We can. We can be in the gym relentlessly every day, unconditionally committed to building the muscle. But you don't know how strong you can flex it until you're actually in the game working it.

And this is why I say this all the time, that information doesn't equal transformation. And I mean information as far as, like, building those muscles, going to the events, taking in the podcast. Like, I'm so grateful that you listen to the podcast. I'm so grateful that you are reading books. I'm so grateful that you're doing meditations. I'm so grateful that you are willing to grow like that is a huge step for most of us. The fact that I didn't have that example set for me, the fact that I'm willing to always be a student and a sponge is fantastic. But all the information doesn't mean if we don't integrate it or know how to integrate it, and that's the problem with all this development that's out there, is they give you all the information, but they don't guide you through the process or they don't let you know that it. It. You don't just show up in the game one time, and when the medal or the super bowl or whatever it is, it takes staying in the freaking game. It's one thing to gather the information and build the resistance and, and. And build the muscle, but you can't really flex it and see what it's made of until you get in the game and I see this happen all the time is, as many of you are personal development gurus and junkies and a part of how we kind of play small, but kind of give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes as we go and listen to the things and do this stuff. And that's how we kind of in air quotes say we're doing the work. That is not doing the work. It's part of it. That's the intro. But we aren't doing the work until we're in the game. And put. Putting yourself in the game or asking to be put in the game is, you know, one of the most exhilarating, scary moments of your life. You know, are you the person that when you're in the World Series, there's. It's a tied score in the ninth inning, the bottom of the ninth, you know, with a 3, 2 pitch. Are you the one that wants to be up at the plate or not? The chances are most of you don't want to be because it's a lot of pressure. You have the ability to look like a failure in front of millions of people or whatever that looks like, but you'll. You'll show up at the game. Just keep me on the bench. Let me. Let me be in the team, but don't, Please don't put me on the front line when. When it counts. Right? And a lot of you are operating in your development kind of with that mentality, and I am no different than you. It is really easy for me to say, you know what? I'm part of this mastermind group that I've been a part of for four in my fourth year. It's really easy for me to say, I've invested $250,000 in my own education and development and.

Growth. It's really easy for me to say that, but if I'm not in the game working that and taking the information I've gathered from my mastermind and leaned into the network that I paid to be part of or use the skills, even in some of the mistakes I've made along the way, then I'm not in the game. Flexing the muscle, right?

That is where you know what work needs to be done still, or where you can say, you know what? That's working for me. Gathering all this information isn't going to do it for you. And how does the Enneagram play into this? So if you look at each Enneagram type, you know, our growth number is like the Holy Grail. And I think so often so much attention is paid to just your type and just your type. And for those of you that have done a lot of personal development, you might be in the healthy part of your number. Like I am a healthy eight. No question about it. No question about it. And in the healthiest version of yourself is fantastic. It's way better than I was a decade ago, let me tell you. But the real holy grail, the whole next level shit, the up leveling, the. The fuck you money, the. The incredible sex, the incredible love, the incredible family life, the incredible parenting that you do, all of that happens in our growth number. And that's when we really have to work the fucking muscle. That's where the most resistance is going to come. That is the most unnatural part of us to go into. So as an eight, my growth number is the two, which is the compassionate, empathetic feeler, the connector. Every part of my eightness wants to resist that. Every single part of it. And if I am left to just my eight, that won't happen. And I really have to be intentional and committed to that process in order for that to happen. For all the other Enneagram types, that is important too for you to be able to flex that muscle and say, hey, put me in the damn game. I'm ready. I'm not afraid. It is going to hurt. It's going to be hard. It's going to hurt. I am going to resist this. I might cry a little bit along the way, right? But you want to be able to have your muscles flexing so much that when you're gathering all this information and working your spiritual muscles and your physical muscles and your emotional muscles, which is what the Enneagram. Enneagram is all about. This is all about emotional intelligence. Until you get in the game, you won't even know what you're made of.

And emotional intelligence is your greatest predictor for success. And why I love the framework of the Enneagram is it really gives you the skills to communicate with everyone. And when you can communicate with everyone, even some of the more aggressive types, if you're not like that, or some of the more emotional types, if you're not like that, or some of the more analytical types of. When you are able to flex your muscle and speak to all of them, you aren't afraid to be put in the damn game. You're not afraid to be messy in it. And. And that is where you can take your businesses to the next level. And I see so many of you doing the things. You're going with the flow. You're doing what this coach said or this Mastermind member said or this podcast said, or this book said, and that's great. I'm all about that. But if it's not true to your growth and where you shine and where you are most effective to speak to everyone in your ideal client, your niche, whatever, then you're missing the boat. You're missing the boat and the impact you want to make. You're missing the boat on the income you want to make. You're missing the ability to strengthen your skill set in the ability to communicate with everyone. And how we flex those muscles is moving into our growth number. And I've done episodes on this before, but this is such a thing that's not talked about. We only talk about like the Enneagram types and our wings, and that's great, that's fine. But you know, I know if you're listening to me and I haven't scared you off yet, you want to be like next level. You want to be like the Tom Brady of your business or your family. And I don't care if you're not a Tom Brady fan. He's the goat. There's no doubt about it, right? But you have to be committed to the process. And if you want to do that, then we need to focus on where we go in growth. And I want you to know that where we go in growth on the Enneagram is where you struggle the most, right? So for the ones, you resist having fun and spontaneity, but that's exactly where you grow. For you twos, you have a hard time doing things for yourself because you feel selfish, but that is exactly where you grow. My threes have a hard time slowing down enough to troubleshoot, but that is where you grow. My fours resist having a little bit of structure, but that is where you grow. Where you grow, that's where you have confidence. That's where you go into that healthy one. The fives, who like to sit back and be analytical, even at their very best, Fives like to do that. But where they go next level is in that decisive, healthy eight, the making decisions fast. Yes, I'm going to make a big move. The Sixes, they resist kind of seeing the bigger picture of everything because they have tunnel vision sometimes on what could go wrong. And when they can tap into that ever knowing wisdom is where they grow. The sevens, who like to do anything's possible and, and have more people around and they're more extroverted, typically have a hard time being by themselves because they don't want to be trapped with their own feelings. But it's in the healthy five, that investigator and that container of solitude where all their big, beautiful, amazing ideas can actually be birthed.

The Eights, like I mentioned, have a hard time leaning into vulnerability and compassion and empathy and connection because they don't feel safe there. But that is where their superpowers come to life. And last but not least, the nines, they are so easygoing sometimes that they don't take a lot of action. And so this beautiful Yoda wisdom, this inclusivity, this safe place for so many people never comes to fruition until they lean into the healthy three, which is that goal oriented, take action, get her done kind of spirit. So you can see as I went through all those types, like if you're any of those types, when I mentioned where you go and growth, you're like, yep, that's where I sabotage. Yep, that's where I resist. Yep, that's where I get busy and do other things. Yep, that's where I make excuses. And if you are listening to me, I know you want to be the very best version of yourself in your leadership, whether it's in your home, in your business, or both. Like me. It will require you to step into this part of yourself. You need to not just build the muscle, but you need to be able to flex the muscle. And where you flex the muscle and where you see what you're made of is in the actual game. Don't be afraid of it. Don't be afraid of it. If you need a guide in this, which we all do, trust me, I was messy. I was messy, messy, messy until I humbled myself enough to say, you know what? This person can take me here and I will follow their directions. Even though I am resistant to this vulnerability and I resistant to connection and compassion, if I can just power through shit, I am way more effective. And I was. But not next level effective. Not fuck you, money effective. And I know you both want that. Not effective in a way that people feel like I see here and understand them. And I know that so many of you have invested a lot of time, resources, money into maybe courses or masterminds or coaches that you thought might lead them. Maybe you weren't honest with them. That's been my case. I've hired lots of people, but not been radically honest with them or myself. I didn't humble myself enough to say, yes, I don't know what I'm doing here. If that is you, I definitely can help you. I'm way more than an enneagram person. However, that is the framework I teach you how to use so this doesn't get so complicated. Having a guide will get you there faster. Period. End of story. But you got to be honest. I know that you're tired of doing the damn things that don't move the needle and leave you feeling inauthentic or empty and broke. Right? Let's just. Let's just call it what it is. I would be honored to help you through that process. You can reach out to me on Instagram, Tracy Underscore o'. Malley. You can keep listening to this podcast because I give you so many good things.

But at the end of the day, you have to put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties and. And do the work. And if you know yourself well enough like I do and need a guide, I am your girl. And so I encourage you to reach out on Instagram, Tracy Underscore o'. Malley. Or if you know you're all in, you're ready for this, just go to my website, Tracy O' Malley.com the work with me sect. And there is a beautiful opportunity for you to finally stop playing this 10 steps forward, 15 back. It's time that you finally take all this personal developing you've been doing and actually move the needle in a way that makes you feel like you're your authentic self, where you have harmony in all aspects of your life, not just one aspect. Because I know there's many of you that can move the needle in one area, but the rest falls apart and you're spinning all these plates and, you know, crashing them. I read this quote the other day about, you know, we're all juggling balls, and I apologize. I want to say Nora Roberts is the author of this quote. I apologize if that's inaccurate, but I believe that's it. We're all juggling all sorts of balls, tons of them, some of us more than others. And you're gonna drop some. You will. Because we're human. We're human. I know you ones and threes out there are like, I will not drop the balls. But you will. You will, and we all will. You just really have to know which ones are made out of glass and which ones are made out of plastic and make sure you keep the ones that are made out of glass up in the air. And how you can do that is through this work of understanding and building this spiritual muscle, this emotional muscle, even this physical muscle, because this. This takes resilience to go the distance and getting in the damn game. So I would be honored to do that with you. I know you're tired of this. Tired of it. You're watching all these people crush it. And they might be, they might be, but things aren't always as they appear. But there's something about when you know that you're doing your work and doing your thing and you're growing, that all of a sudden what everybody else is doing doesn't fucking matter because you have found your sweet spot. And that, my friends, is freedom. And it leads to financial freedom and emotional freedom and all sorts of freedom. And things become a hell of a lot more harmonious. So if you are ready, I want to hear about it. Screenshot this right now. Tag me on Instagram. I would love to hear what you thought about this episode. And coming soon, I will be doing live typing sessions here on air. More information will be coming for that soon. There will be an application process. There will be a smaller fee to have this experience. Not everybody will be selected, but that is coming soon too. I will also be bringing you interviews with those that have coached with me so you can hear the benefits of not just the information of the Enneagram, but how it gets integrated in all aspects of their life. So you can see how people are finding harmony and profits and passion and love and healthy family life and. And it all is flowing together. I can't wait for you to start hearing some of those episodes coming soon. And in the meantime, here's to becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceeomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.