130: The best year ever or f*ck COVID: What gifts COVID gave you depends on your Enneagram type & level of health

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof.

Buckle up, let's go.

Can you believe we are at the one year mark where the entire world as a collective got blindsided? This did not discriminate from any race, status.

Nationality, country.

Covid came and like a tornado came and disrupted and threw all our shit all over the place without warning. The entire world was blindsided. And you know, I, I think back to 2008 when the recession hit and that did discriminate a little bit, right? I was definitely one of the people greatly affected by it through some of my own choices that I had made that maybe weren't the smartest, you know, and circumstantial stuff as well. And I think back to that time and if you're old enough to have experienced that, I know many people were affected by that. And in fact, you know, Covid, although I could handle it much differently. And I'll get into that because we're going to talk about the gifts of COVID Believe it or not, I mean, depending on who you talk to, I hear it's either the best year ever or Covid. And I get that. I mean, nobody likes a blind side.

I felt like that in 2008. And when I thought about what this last 2020 looked like and into, you know, 2021, had this happened 10 years ago and I was the same person I was 10 years ago.

This looks really different for me. And you know, I have often said, you know, I don't necessarily believe in everything happens for a reason, because there is some crazy shit and some really awful things that happen that really make no sense at all. You know, the world getting turned upside down really, like, it's hard to make sense of that sometimes even the most spiritually and emotionally strong of us. But that being said, I do believe that everything that happens can absolutely serve something magical. It can be the greatest catalyst for change in your life if you choose to. Now, that's going to take some work. It's going to take a perspective shift. It's going to take you not being a victim to it. And even when hard things happen, like it did in 2008 for me when the recession came, I lost a business overnight. I was going through a divorce at the time, which. That's fun. I had to foreclose the home that my kids knew as their safe place and that they grew up in. That was terrible. I had to re home our three family pets because going into a rental house, they weren't going to take 500 pounds of dog. Um, it was either that or I moved my kids out of the school district, and I was not willing to do that, so. But I was a victim. I. And I was angry all the time. And if you were around my energy, it was like walking on eggshells because you knew I was pissed and I wanted. You know, you've heard the term misery loves company. I was the epitome of that.

Looking back now, I see the other side of it. All those really hard things served something beautiful in my life. Once I finally decided to shift the perspective about that. It took me four years to get to that point.

But Covid has brought many, many gifts for each enneagram type. And how each enneagram type has dealt with COVID depending on your level of health, will have a lot to do with it. Also.

You know, your wings can have a lot to do with this because your wings can really help along your main type. When. When the tools of your main type aren't the right tools for the job, the wings can come into play. Especially our growth number, which not a lot of people talk about, and even our stress number. So depending on where you fall in this.

Either you have chosen to be a victim, or you've chosen to take what was dealt to you and turn it into something amazing. Now I know there's people that have lost all their income. That was me in 2008. I know the devastation and the worry and the panic and all of that that comes with it. I know a lot of people have lost their homes, and I've experienced that too. And I'm not saying that it's great to be so positive when this fucking shit's happening. It's hard when you're in the storm of it to see the light. I'm not minimizing any of it. However, I have close to 50 years on my watch here, and Every single horrible, hard thing that has ever happened. When I look.

Back at it, connecting all the dots of what transpired after that, it was always followed by some of my greatest growth, my biggest AHAs.

And it was in 2012 that I decided I was no longer going to be a victim to anything, even some of my own shitty choices. Right? Because we always have a part in it. So I wanted to go through each Enneagram type and what gifts of COVID has given each Enneagram type. I don't want to go down the train of all the negativity of what Covid has done to each Enneagram type, because without you even realizing it, there are some beautiful things that have happened for you. You may not see it as that yet because it feels really uncomfortable. But for a lot of Enneagram types, without any say in it, you got kind of forced to either, you know, spiral out and go completely off the rails, or you are kind of forced to move into your growth number. And you've heard me talk about growth before, it never feels really good when we're in it. You know, if you're in the gym building muscles, it hurts. But we continue to do it because we know the benefit outweighs the pain of breaking down the muscles to build it back up. And our emotional intelligence is the same way. Anytime we're growing emotionally and spiritually and becoming more self aware, knowing where we go in growth, we can lean into it, even though it's painful. Well, Covid didn't give you a chance to process it. And either you decided to, you know, tank or you're gonna take the cards you were dealt and make something magical out of it. So for my Enneagram ones out there, the improvers, the reformers, sometimes known as the perfectionists, something like Covid really rocked your world and, you know, everything is good or bad, right or wrong. And then, you know, after Covid hit, then we had the racial stuff and an election. And you know, the Enneagram ones are very black and white thinkers and the realization that shit. I don't really have much control over anything that happens, but I do have control over how I respond to it. And where an Enneagram one goes in growth is to that seven, that enthusiast, that anything is possible. So where a one can sometimes be very rigid in their thinking, very close minded, seeing what happened in the world, for the healthier ones, they saw, okay, well, what am I going to make of this? What am I going to make of this? And they leaned into their strong seven of Anything's possible. The visionary, the innovator. And that is the gift of COVID for the Enneagram one. Now for the Enneagram two, the helper, right? Quarantine really made this hard for our enneagram2, who love to go out of their way to help people. And, you know, I witnessed this firsthand with my son, and I have interviewed him before on this podcast. If you are an Enneagram, too, I highly suggest you go back and look for it, because the gift of COVID for the Enneagram twos, it kind of forced you to not.

Be of service to everybody else because you physically couldn't, right? Because of quarantine.

You were on lockdown. So what I have seen a lot of healthy twos do is lean into their healthy four, right? They become the individualist in a massive growth pattern, which means, you know, they take care of their own needs. So my son, as a 2, started developing more hobbies. He took more online classes. He started learning the stock market. And instead of his worth being tied into what he does for other people, he started to build that confidence for himself. He leaned into the individualist. So for my Enneagram twos out there, when you really start to lean into that, at first, it's going to feel really uncomfortable. And all that time to yourself to be alone with your thoughts, it's going to be uncomfortable at first, but then you start really enjoying your own personal time and getting to choose yes, choose what you say yes or no to. And you're going to find that with all this free time, if you're on the healthier side, that you are going to choose you more often. And that doesn't make you selfish. It actually makes you a better helper when you get to choose what you say yes to and what you say no to. So the gift of COVID for my twos out there was the inability. It took away your ability to help the way that you normally would. And although I know it felt very uncomfortable for a lot of you, it did here in this house in the beginning. You lean into it and find the beauty in it. And when you can serve at the highest level because you're taking care of yourself first, you also realize that you don't have the resentment that usually came with saying yes to things you didn't want to. So it's a beautiful gift. My threes, my achievers. I saw it was very black or white with my threes in the COVID situation, because the threes are the achievers, and at their core, Belief is their worth is attached to what they do achieve or how they appear. And when they can't go out in the world and do like they do, I mean, because people look at the threes and they just crush it. They just do. They get her done. But when they got put in quarantine or they had businesses that weren't necessarily a hundred percent online, you know, maybe the unhealthier threes really spiraled out and went into the dark side, which is, you know, a nine for them, the unhealthy nine. But what I saw so many healthy threes do is they leaned into their healthy six, the master troubleshooting skills, the. Okay, let's get tactical here, where a 3 can be very instinctual and just plow through to achieve. Covid forced them to lean into their healthy 6, which is where 3 goes in growth. And all of a sudden, their strategy, they slowed. They had to slow down. When I work with threes, I really rein them in to slow them down so that they can speed up in a way that feels harmonious, feels passion filled, feels fulfilling, and actually produces more freaking money for them. And so the threes that I saw really step into growth. And the gift of COVID was using that healthy troubleshooting six to pivot and create new businesses. There are some threes that I'm really close to and friends with in my network that they have tedxed their income and impact. Not just income, but impact. I am so honored to know them. They blow me away. The healthy threes are some of my favorite people because they do it not necessarily believing that that's where their worth is, but they do it to show other people how to do it. And that's when a three really, really, really shines. So my fours, the gift of COVID for the 4. So this forced some fours to have some structure where when the world is free and open, the four can kind of just float through like a butterfly and just go with the flow like they like to, and. And to be whatever they choose to be in the moment. You know, the individualist they, they are always craving significance within themselves, that they are their most authentic and unique self. Well, when the world gets shut down and it isn't so flowy, you have to have a little structure. And what happened with many fours, especially the ones that I've worked with, I saw a next level creativity come because of the little bit of structure that they kind of had forced on them. And I tell fours all the time because they resist and almost get a little bratty with structure, this is where they self sabotage most of the time. But the healthy one is where the four goes in growth. And I tell them all the time, just pick one or two things. One of them has to be your health, though. You gotta be healthy, you gotta take care of yourself, you gotta eat right, and you gotta move that energy around in that beautiful body of yours. That's the first thing, a structure. And then having one tiny bit of structure in your life will actually allow this creativity and uniqueness to really shine its light. And that was the gift for the four, with the world kind of putting some restrictions on what they could do out in the world. Now for the Enneagram fives, the investigator them, this type probably more than any other type, really was like, this is cool. I love the fact that I have to quarantine and isolate and I can't go do stuff. Stuff. I don't have to turn down invitations because the world has slowed down, right? But you know, they could go down a dark hole. And I know this because my eightness goes to the unhealthy five when I'm in a dark place. But the healthy fives, or the fives that were committed to growing during this time or figuring things out, of course, sometimes they would lean into their wings, the creative four or the troubleshooting six of their wings to push them into the healthy eight, which is where a five goes in growth. And this allowed some of my masterful healthy fives out there become more decisive and strategic, not just information and energy hoarders, which is kind of, you know, one of the stereotypes to the enneagram 5, but their brilliance, this, the gift of this Covid was, you know, they, they were digging the alone time, don't get me wrong. But it forced them because they saw the world kind of freaking out. And they may have been freaking out a little bit too. It allowed them to get more decisive and discerning on the stuff they were learning while in quarantine. Instead of just being like, yeah, I'm just going to go down this YouTube trap of, you know, nature films or things like this. They got very discerning and decisive about what they investigated, which, you know, a five, when they are streamlined, become an expert. I love fives. I absolutely love fives. And watching so many of them lean into that strong, healthy, decisive eight with the wisdom and the information to back it up and the ability to be desensitized to the range of emotions, especially when the world is an emotional, you know, basket case. Right now. This is where the Fives could shine. And I saw a lot of them use the gift of COVID in this way. All right, for the Sixes, Covid probably rocked them almost more than anybody. I would say probably the ones in the sixes probably got rocked hardest by this, because the biggest fear of a six is a blind side. And when the whole world gets blindsided and, you know, the. The sixes kind of operate in a way that they prepare themselves, that any kind of possibility of what if could happen, they are prepared for. They have a spreadsheet of all the game plans in case something happens. Well, I'm sorry, there is no way anyone could have predicted the blind side of 2020. There. There is no way any of us could have seen that coming, really, at least to the magnitude that it had. And at first, I saw a lot of sixes white knuckling this. Even some of the healthiest ones that I know, because it's like the uncertainty. They have this strong, strong need more than any other type for certainty. There are a few other types that need it as well, but for the Sixes, it's Sixes, it's next level. And, you know, I think in the beginning stages, when, you know, the dates were changed or, you know, we're thinking this might last just a few weeks or maybe a month or two or through the summer. And then once we realized this isn't going anywhere anytime soon, what I saw some of the healthier sixes do was see the bigger picture instead of just focused on the blindsiding and the what if, what if, what if, what if. And. And that's what happens when a six gets spun out is they. They feel like they're in a pinball machine, bouncing from wall to wall, like, feeling like they're getting the shit kicked out of them all the time. But I. I think the gift of COVID for the Sixes, the healthier ones, were the ability to see the bigger picture and lean into that healthy nine, which is the peacemaker who can look at things from all perspectives, which sometimes a 6 can really have the blinders on and be very rigid in, you know, the course of action that they believe needs to be taken. And I think also the gift that Covid gave Sixes is to really see that a blind side won't necessarily kill them and.

How they don't have to hold back for fear of a blind side that, you know what? It didn't kill me. And so maybe I don't have to run. Run around so scared and afraid and anxious all the time. And it's been really awesome because I'm close to a lot of sixes in my life. It's been really awesome to see them, like, loosen the grip on the need for certainty 247 all the time. All right. For my Enneagram sevens, my enthusiasts, this was really hard on them at first. My daughter is a seven, and her living with me first two or three weeks were really, really hard because they're very social. They're the most extroverted on the Enneagram. They don't like to be trapped in any situation. So you can imagine a thing like quarantine for an enneagram 7 at first can spin them out and not a. Not a good thing to have happen. But I've talked about the sevens before because a seven in a healthy pattern goes to the five, the healthier part of the five, that investigator. And because the seven's vision and open mind and anything's possible.

Energy really needs a place to curate. But because they don't ever want to be trapped in a situation or feel like they're put in a cage, a lot of times, all these beautiful grand visions and innovation that they come up with can't be birthed because they're bouncing from thing to thing all the time. And so what Covid did for some sevens is especially the healthier ones, and the ones that accepted that, like, this is how it's going to be, is a container was created for them to bring their big vision to life, right? They were kind of forced to, like, be with themselves a little bit more. And, you know, for sevens, I mean, on the dark side of the seven, you could really go down a dark place. And I think this is where we see, especially in 2020, a lot of addiction and alcohol problems come because they don't have the usual distraction and people and places and things to distract them. But for the good part of the gift of COVID for the seven, was the solitude, not isolation, solitude. Because for all those big ideas to come to life, a container needs to be created. And Covid gave it to them. And I have watched many sevens, these visionaries really start new businesses.

Accelerate the way that they serve people.

But that wouldn't have happened if the container wasn't created for them. Because it's very hard for seven to naturally.

Sit in their quiet thoughts. It really, really is, because you can imagine how active their brain is, right? And so it's been awesome to see all these innovators and enthusiasts really step into the anything's possible ideas that they come up with. They change the world with their ideas, and they make big moves when they allow themselves to slow down enough to birth them. All right, for my fellow eights out there, my challengers, you know, they are really out for justice for the innocent and the more vulnerable. And.

What I think for the eights especially, they did a few things, you know, the healthier versions, you know, because people feel really safe with a healthy eight when there's so much chaos and uncertainty and anger and all the things that we saw in 2020 and beyond happening. When a healthy 8 is in your presence, you just automatically feel safe. And that was a beautiful gift. And an 8 feels really good in holding that kind of space. You know, a lot of times eights are called the rock, but then that's great. But we're talking about the real gift of COVID 4 and 8 was the ability to have more compassion for people.

The ability to be of service in a different way with compassion and empathy instead of just barreling through and, you know, knocking shit over and. And all of that. But they definitely, you know, they. They were able to lean into that compassion and serve and help in a way that not only does their strength, you know, of their natural intense energy make people feel safe, but when it's piggybacked with compassion and empathy, that is next level safety for pretty much everybody. It's why people do. When they're with me, they do feel safe, seen, heard, understood, and that I've got their back. I mean, the unhealthy eights with COVID definitely went a different direction. But for some of my more intense eights, that really leaned into growth. During this Covid thing that's been going on for a whole year, I saw new levels of empathy and compassion, and it was really, really beautiful. A lot of them were forced in their homes with their family, and they realized very quickly if, like, that intensity 247 in a household could be a recipe for disaster. And so it went one way or the other in business. They had to really figure out a way to lead, maybe not from just the intensity. Intensity. And so that has been the gift of COVID for all my eights out. And last but not least, the nines, the peacemakers. Boy, was this a hard time for some of the unhealthier ones.

Because, you know, they have a need for calm and peace in the environment, in the world. And holy shit, 2020 was anything but in some ways, right? And so if a 9 wasn't in the healthiest spot, they really became.

Very lazy in spirit and probably didn't come out of their shell very much. And. And because they're so easygoing, they're not the people that most would check in on naturally. They kind of just like to fall into the background when they're not in their healthiest spot. But what I saw some of the. The. When I saw some of the nines that I'm friends with really step into the gift of COVID for them because they are not judgment.

They make people feel like they're understood a lot of times that they're never judged. This provided a lot of safety for people to voice their concerns when they were scared. Not only that, they bring people together naturally because they are so inclusive. And so I saw a lot of eights rally some troops together for the greatest good. And in a time when most people felt alone, the gift of the nine during COVID was bringing people together for something amazing.

And the Yoda came out to play. It's like, okay, wise one, this is what we're going to do. So, you know, I mean, I'm sure I would not have wished what we've all experienced with COVID on anyone. I wouldn't have wished some of the things I've experienced. And I've listened to many of your stories and I've coached thousands of people over the last decade. Decade. And I know the pain that some of the things that have happened in your life and their lives and especially this last year, we lost lives, we lost income, we lost certainty, we lost some security, we lost the ability to travel. No matter how much fricking money you had, it didn't matter. We were all put on a leash. And that I don't know if I'd wish on anybody. But you have the ability and the choice to have a different perspective of what that means to you. And it's not too late. If you have pissed away and have been walking around angry since this happened a year ago, it's never too late. You can at any moment decide that, well, this is not how my story is going to go, and I am going to turn the page and write it a different way on how I choose to see how this goes. I can choose to receive whatever the hell this has been as a gift. Doesn't mean gifts are easy all the time. It doesn't mean that growth feels good or without pain. But I'm sure if you're listening right now, you are committed to some kind of growth. And if you are listening right now, I want to encourage you to really take an honest look at your life.

This is what I do when I feel scared or uncertain or I want to sabotage or go down the pity party or, you know, because I'm freaking human too. We're all human. But when I. Whenever I get into that mode, I really turn around and look at my life and start connecting some dots. And anytime I had massive growth or massive joy or anything that, you know, I look back on my life as positive. If I reverse engineer how I got there, it was usually after something really painful. And if the year of 2020 and Covid and everything that came with COVID really makes you feel, like, hopeless, or that you don't know where you're going to find the strength to move forward, or you're raising kids and you don't know what to say, I want you to look back at your life and start connecting some dots where maybe you had some really hard things happen, but on the other side of it, you can see why it had to happen the way it did. Doesn't mean it was fun or without pain, but there is always something beautiful that can come from the darkness if you choose to take that perspective. And the good thing is, is nobody can take that perspective from you. But the hard news is, is nobody can give it to you either. The choice is up to you. So, you know, I don't know what's going to happen moving forward. I really, really don't.

You know, it's a weird, weird, weird, weird time we're living in. But this I know to be true is to navigate all the parts of ourselves. I know Covid has exposed parts in you that maybe you had kept at bay for a long time or you were able to keep under wraps because of busyness. And then Covid kind of exposed all that. Covid definitely exposed some things about myself too, that I needed to grow through. And that's the beauty of the Enneagram and the framework of it, when you know what to do with it is you can use it as a compass to grow, even though some of it was painful, right? And so if you are in that position where some things were exposed, you saw some cracks in the foundation that were kind of forced because of quarantine or job loss or business loss or health loss or whatever that means to you. And you really want to use this time as an opportunity to really look at your life differently and have a new level of self awareness so that, you know, the only thing my dad used to say is the only thing you could ever count on is change and taxes. And if you want to be Prepared for anything that comes your way, knowing that you have the tools to handle it, even the most painful things. And you want a guide to kind of show you the ins and outs of who you are based on your enneagram, type please reach out to me. I love giving you so many tools and aha moments and the tracks to run on.

To navigate and deal with anything that's hard or anything that's great too. Like, it's beautiful to see people actually enjoy the things that are great too. And you can reach out to me on Instagram at traceyomalley. You can. If you're. If you know, you just want to do this, get a typing session. Because if you have the wrong information.

And you have the wrong enneagram, type, all of this roadmap stuff don't mean jack. So get it right. Get it right. If you love the enneagram and you're obsessed with it and you want to know for sure without question, what your type is, let's do a typing session. You can go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section. It is a life changing 90 minutes, let me tell you. People walk away from that with their mind freaking blown. And sometimes for the first time in their life, they feel like somebody actually sees them. And I want that for you too, because we all deserve that. We all deserve that, and so do you. So reach out. And if this episode has really made you think about the last year and what Covid was for you, and if you were one of those, I was like, fuck Covid. This is the worst year ever. And maybe you were Negative Nancy or Bitter Barney. I totally get it. You know, when I think back at 2008, that was me. But I want you to have the choice of looking at it through different lenses. And if this landed on your heart, and maybe you're like, okay, I see where I can turn this around. Take a screenshot. Let me know what you thought about this, how this landed on your heart. It would mean the world to me. And if it was extra, extra good for you, please head on over to itunes. It's the greatest way you can thank me is to drop a review and let me know what you think. And until next time, you guys, here's to becoming bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want, please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@tracyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work.

Let's become bulletproof. Sam.