137: The Enneagram has gone mainstream: Why it’s more than just a trend

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert, and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week, I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

Let's go.

All right. If you are anything like me, then you aren't one of those people that falls for trends. Or even worse, you don't get into all the hype that's out there for anything like even fashion. If it's popular, I don't do it. If there's a popular book that everybody's talking about, I won't read it.

And now, what is mainstream the Enneagram? It is so trending. I see new Enneagram Instagrams pop up every day. I see so many different things all over the Internet regarding the Enneagram. And guess who is at the center of it? Yours truly. But here's the thing. The reason I have put myself at the front of this is because this is more than a trendy thing. This actually is one of the most incredible tools that you can use to grow yourself. That there is.

Yes. It really is way more than fun memes and it's more than a fun party game. I have worked on myself for the last 21 years. I've been deep diving into who I am and all of that. And trust me, if it's something trendy or somebody tells me I have to do something, I almost rebel the complete opposite way. So when I was introduced to the Enneagram almost a decade ago by my therapist who was telling me what to do because clearly my best thinking wasn't working, I even rebelled against her and said, no, I don't want to do this. Long story short, she said, your best thinking has gotten you here. Clearly what you have been doing isn't working as well as you would like it to. So I was like, you got a point. Enter the Enneagram. And I took the test. The one that's on enneagraminstitute.com and before you all rush to go do that right away. Hear me out. Because the biggest problem with the Enneagram, there's only one problem in all of it. It's all these online assessments are inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time. And mine was 2. So what the hell do we do? If we're using this amazing tool and 65 to 70% of the time it's inaccurate, what is someone to do? Well, I personally had a guide at the time and you know, my original score was 381- you- know, on the Enneagram Institute, which it's a $12 test again, don't rush out to do that yet. Hear me out.

You would think a paid test would be better than, you know, some of the freebies. And it is more in depth. It definitely. I like that one the best. But it's still, like I said, I've done hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of typing sessions with people. And those statistics. Statistics ring true.

So thankfully my therapist at the time, we talked through that. She knew enough about it to start asking deeper questions. This was on day two of rehab, so she didn't know me very well yet. And on the outside I look very three. Like I definitely am a high achiever. Put a goal in front of me, I will crush it. All the things. And I very easily could have bought into that because in my own kind of like Judge Judy ness, if I was reading about the Enneagram, I would want to be a three. Because they just get shit done. And who wouldn't want to just get shit done? So many of us have self sabotaging behaviors or we hold ourselves back or we procrastinate or threes just seem to get it done. But there is a dark side to all Enneagram types. But here's the thing. When we're doing these online assessments, a lot of times we're wearing a certain hat. And especially ladies who tend to be able to multitask and compartmentalize so much of their life. And men too. Men really compartmentalize, but in a different way. When we're taking these assessments, usually we have an area of our life that we're kind of referring to when we want to explore this beautiful tool. And so a lot of times what comes through is that mindset or if we've done a lot of personal development and we know where we're headed, we've taken enough seminars and courses and hired people, we're maybe in masterminds and we hear all the right things to say, so we start answering towards that. And if we do that, we're not you. We're never going to be able to use this tool effectively. So why I'm so passionate about doing typing sessions with people is because once you have the right information, the beautiful things you can do in your life with this information are immeasurable. I know that I have more than a thousand X to my life in the last decade. And I don't just mean in my bank account. I mean emotionally, spiritually, personally, the way I am as a parent, my health, the way. Way that I age, the way that I have compassion for other people and yeah, my bank account too. So, you know, if you are maybe somebody who is into the Enneagram or you have typed yourself through an assessment, but maybe it's not working as well as you thought it should, or like you identify with some of the stereotypes, but it's not. It's not. It's just not landing or.

You know, you're. You bought into your type. I see that a lot. Like, you own it like a badge. You're not using the whole parts of the Enneagram because you're way more than just your type. So just like any personality system, the Enneagram has found itself in, you know, certain stereotypes. Like fours are creative yet dramatic. Ones are principled yet judgmental, Sevens are adventurous but unreliable, and nines are accepting but spineless. Like it's not a stereotype. And you know, like so many other personality systems like Myers Briggs or Disc or any of them, we try to identify ourselves by lining our behaviors up against those stereotypes and determining which ones we most closely resemble. The problem with doing that is that many of us will identify with more than one stereotype. Right. And that also feeds into why we're mistyped.

So how do you properly identify your correct Enneagram type? There's one of two ways.

It's not meant to be a system that just identifies clusters of traits and behaviors and habits. The Enneagram is a very dynamic, growth oriented inventory that pinpoints one's basic fears and motivations in order to facilitate personal growth through a very specific framework. Right. But you have to get to the root of it, because if you're just going off the behaviors, the stereotypes, and even some of the patterns that show up, quite honestly, what I notice is a lot of times that's just the front to protect our biggest fear. Yes, for me, all that threeness in me was really just this big titanium wall with a moat around it, protecting my most vulnerable parts of me, which was my fear of being Violated or betrayed. And it's when we kind of do the six degrees of separation on this that we really can understand ourselves. Use the framework of the Enneagram to propel ourselves into growth. We could recognize self sabotaging behavior, but this time we look at that behavior with compassion and love. Right.

So if you want me to kind of go through the basic fears of each one, you'll notice that some of your behaviors are just to protect these fears. And if you notice a lot of the behaviors that you have fall into a different type of. That isn't your core fear. So the ones core fear is the fear of being evil, corrupt or wrong. So they're morally upstanding, super virtuous. The twos fear of being unloved or unwanted by others. That's why they can be over givers a little bit and sometimes they subconsciously don't even realize it, but they, they give to get type threes. The fear of being unaccomplished or worthless. That's why their drive to achieve at all costs really is at the forefront. Their whole worth is tied into it. Fours that they have the fear of lacking any kind of significance or uniqueness or authentic parts to them. So that's why they can be a little dramatic. Always kind of seeking things. Fives fear being helpless, inadequate or incapable. That's why they like to know all the things. Six is the fear of being without support, guidance or certainty. That's why they have become the master troubleshooters and master collaborators. So they can keep an eye on all of us. The seven's fear of pain, deprivation or being trapped. It's why they seem to bounce from thing to thing and have all the ideas. The eights, my, my fearless friends, we have, like I said, the fear of being harmed, betrayed or controlled by others. So that's why we put up this aggressive front sometimes. The nines fear of loss and separation from others. That's why they're peacemakers. Right. So those are just the basic fears. They go like next level. So what do you do if you're being mistyped or you're not? Sure. Well, you can go back to that Enneagram Institute test that I told you about. What I usually tell people is take the top four scores and I don't care if there is a huge discrepancy. Just because there's a big gap in between scores does not automatically mean anything. I just did a podcast episode with one of my clients where there was nine or 10 points in between her top score and her next one down. And actually she ended up being typed as the third type on the list. So there was like a 12 or 13 point gap between the top score on that test and her actual type. And that was the paid test, y'. All. So what do you do? You take the time to really be honest with yourself. And what I have found also, myself included, I could not have done this on my own without a guide and without somebody that, that wasn't, you know, protecting my most vulnerable spots. She was here to help me grow. And although I was resistant and kicking and screaming a little bit, I'm so grateful that she did. Because when I looked at the eight and understood what was at the root of that fear of the eight about being, you know, vulnerable and betrayed and violated, I was able to look at myself with so much more compassion instead of just beating myself up all the time. So if you're going to explore this on your own, it's going to take a new level of radical, radical honesty with yourself to really look at it from the most vulnerable spots, maybe your biggest wounds. And that's not easy to do. It really, really isn't. But then what do you do with it? Right? I like to use this example. You know, I love Home Depot and I love power tools and you know, I'd rather go to Home Depot than like a clothing stor, but I have a garage filled with some pretty cool tools that I don't know how to use. And so what I have instead is a really cool looking garage with really expensive tools that I don't know how to use to make life a lot easier. And the Enneagram is no different. If you don't know what to do with this tool, then it's kind of like not helping you the way that it really, really can. It is the most powerful personal development tool there is, y'. All. So what's your other option? You get a guide. And that's where I come in. So I spoke to a mastermind group. I speak to mastermind groups and teams and organizations all the time. And without fail, these statistics run true. I typed an entire mastermind. I did typing assessments with every single person in this 21 person mastermind group. And out of the 21 people taking that paid test that I paid for and had them all do, only eight of them ended up being their very top score. 8 out of 21. If you are quick with numbers like I am, that means there was only a 38% accuracy in that and 62% were mistyped according to the assessment. Now if all these people were just going off their assessment and using this framework, that means they're going all in the wrong direction. And this tool is kind of pointless. In fact, it may be even not. It's probably harming them. And I don't mean harming like you're going to die, but oh my gosh, imagine typing into a GPS where you want to go and it keeps taking you the wrong way. Gets pretty frustrating, especially when you so badly want to get where you want to go. And I know in your personal development journey you're frustrated. I see all the time, I see you in the masterminds. I work with high, high, high freaking level people that have done hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of investing in coaches and masterminds and courses and all sorts of shit. And you know who they end up with is me. Because all of that stuff, all the strategy that you are trying to get, all the information that you are gathering isn't equaling the transformation that you desire. Maybe you have the wrong framework, maybe you have the wrong roadmap. Maybe you just haven't met me. And I love at least, at the very least, helping people get typed properly so that they can take that information and at least run in the right direction. Or even better, they hire the VIP guide to take them through the process. And until they get the muscle strength enough to know how to flex this beautiful tool in all areas of their life, they have a guide to take them through. So I do typing sessions and if that is something that you are interested in or for not just you, but your teams, your organizations, your mastermind groups, your, your leadership teams, your families, I do all of this all the time and I absolutely love it. There is something beautiful when I see the aha light bulb go off and all of a sudden I get this a lot. Like, I feel seen, heard and understood for the first time in my life. I had one girl say today, either you're really fucking great at what you do or you're a hell of a salesperson. And I'm here to tell you I'm the worst salesperson ever. But I am a hell of a problem solver. And if the problem for you is that you have taken the time investing in coaches and programs and masterminds and all of that, and all of it's great. Like, I'm not minimizing any coach or mastermind out there. They're. I'm in them and they're great.

But if you don't have this component, this emotional intelligence to know yourself and why you do what you do. You're just spending a lot of money kicking the can down the street and getting more frustrated and probably burying yourself in more shame because it's like you should be further along. Well, let me help you in that. If you are interested in being typed properly with a one on one session with me, go to my website, Tracy O' Malley.com There are two options for enneagram. You can do a typing session or if you know you're going to want to dive all the way through it, do the Enneagram experience or the holy grail of really using that entire tool belt with the VIP guide, then do one on one coaching with me for three months. You have me every single day navigating all parts of your life. Not just emotional intelligence, but I got a hell of a business brain too. I'm one of the best strategists I know and I can help you with all the things, all of it. I know you're tired of just getting frustrated that things aren't moving the way that you need to. And just this one little piece can be a game changer. Enough with the mistyping. Just get it right, get it tight, and run like hell. I love the Enneagram so much I could talk about it 24 7, which goes back to like something that's trendy. I am laughing at myself as I'm even talking about this, because yes, this is what I do all day long. I just spent last week in a Mastermind for four solid days and I couldn't stop talking about it. Granted, everybody was asking me about it, but I never get sick of talking about it because it is that powerful. And I will say this, that just because it's trendy, I don't care about that. I'm all about what the bottom line is. One of my mentors that knew me back when I was the unhealthiest eight of all time, he says to me, he goes, I will never forget every single day I heard you say when I would try to explain something to you, just bottom line me, bottom line me. And that is what the Enneagram can do. That's why I love it so much. Because it is like straight shooting takes you right to the bottom line of not just what you do, but why the fuck you do it. And when we know why we do what we do and when we understand that from the most beautiful parts of who we are, we can look at things very, very differently. We don't beat ourselves up anymore. And quite honestly, we don't fight with people who really, honestly, really could never help us grow anyway. Right? I think so many of you are using so much energy, fighting battles that were never meant to fight with certain people. And the only person that you really have over and how you can respond or react to anything is you. So that's the good news. That's the good news, is the only person that can really help you do this is you. And having a guide definitely accelerates that process. And the bad news is, is the only one that can help you is you. You have to decide that you're ready. You have to decide that you've had enough of just the same shit over and over. Expecting something to change. Nothing changes if nothing changes. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting something different. Insanity. And I can say this because I've tried to do both. If there was an easier, softer way, y', all, I would have that information for you. But there isn't. But what I can say is, this is 21 years ago. I would have died for somebody like me. I really, really would have to help guide me through depths of who I was when I had no role model to show me what a healthy version of that looked like. And that is why I wake up super passionate about what I do. It's why I love the framework of the Enneagra, because I'm not just pulling shit out of my ass. I do have a lot more to me than Enneagram. But that is beautiful framework for you to really start to unpack all the things that have been holding you back. I'd be honored to walk you on this journey. It is lovely so many of you have trusted me with your hearts. We've cried together. We've laughed together. We've found compassion in places we never thought possible together. And I know that you deserve to live out the life that you crave. You really, really do. It's time to stop beating yourself up for shit that doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't serve you. It doesn't serve the calling that's on your life. It doesn't serve the legacy you want to leave, whether it's through your own family or through what your. Your mission in this world. So let me guide you through that. Reach out to me. You can find me on Instagram at tracyomalley, or you can just go to my website, traceeomally.com you can just do a typing session. You can just do the Enneagram experience. But if you're ready for, like, you've had it, go fill out a one on one application. I only take a small few. I only take those that are saying like yes, I am freaking ready. I'm tired of this. I can be your last stop, let me tell you. And I will give you the tools that when our time together is done, you will have them for a lifetime and you'll be able to navigate anything that comes your way. Because life will come at you. I don't care how much work we do, life can still hurt sometimes. But it also can be so damn beautiful and full of joy. And you deserve it. So reach out. I'd be honored. I love you. I'm thinking about you. And until next time, here's to Becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram at traceyomalley and I have 3 tons of free resources for you@tracyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.