138: All your Enneagram questions answered!

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

Let's go.

You know, my inbox gets filled a lot of times with Enneagram questions, combinations of Enneagrams, business, sales, marketing, Enneagram questions, how I use it in my parenting, how I navigate relationships and friendships. I also get a lot of questions about my personal life.

My hairstyle and my makeup. And so I thought today would be a great day to answer all your questions. And I'm going to leave nothing out and I'm going to keep this as short and sweet as possible. But I know that the Enneagram is not complicated, but it is very, very complex and there's so many great information.

Givers out there. But if you don't know what to do with this tool, it's basically like having a garage full of the best tools from the hardware store like Home Depot or something like that, and not knowing how to use them. And what you end up with is a very expensive, beautiful looking garage and you're not getting much done. And the Enneagram can be feel like that sometimes. And that's where I come in. I am the integrator extraordinaire when it comes to the Enneagram. So a lot of the questions are about the Enneagram, but some of the questions I think are pretty awesome too. So I'll just get this going right away. And if you have questions about the Enneagram and as you kind of hear my answers towards things in regards to that or anything for that matter, you know, I do a lot of Enneagram stuff in my coaching, but I'm, I go well beyond that and I can navigate all parts of your life and ironically, when we kind of do our work together, it has a beautiful ripple effect on all areas of your life. And I got a very, very strategic business brain and so wouldn't it be nice if you have harmony in all areas of your life and you don't feel so energetically bankrupt putting on all the different hats. Well, that's where I come in. So reach out. You can find me on Instagram, Tracey Underscore Malley or just go right to my website, Tracey O' Malley.com the work with me section. At the very minimum, do an Enneagram typing session. But if you are read and you are tired of just investing in things that aren't moving the needle, this is your last stop. Honestly, this is your last stop to at least the roadblocks, the blind spots, the sabotage, the procrastination. This is your last stop and I can help you there with some one on one coaching. It's amazing experience. You get daily access to me. It is the secret sauce to this whole thing. All right, so let's dive in. So Sarah from New York City asks, are there certain Enneagram types that are a terrible mix? The quick answer is no. The healthiest version of each type works well with any of them because you have a deeper understanding of yourself. When you are more self aware, it always starts with you. So when you're more self, aware, you're able to have not only compassion for yourself and how you operate and the awareness of how others might receive you, your energy, anything like that. But you will also be able to give that compassion a little more freely. You can't give what you don't have. If you're not giving yourself compassion, you certainly will not be able to give it to anyone else. That's where most of the friction comes in. Or interpersonal relationships. Now that being said, there are definitely some obvious ones that flow together that really can be rocky. But this is with any of them. You know, I'm into the horoscope too. And you know, like there are certain compatibilities that, you know, they'll vibe a little bit easier together. But I'm telling you, any personality type in a not good place will clash with anyone. What I have found is two. Since they're the compassion and empathy people, they work well with action takers like eights. Twos and eights end up together a lot. Twos and sixes end up together a lot. Eights and fours are really great together or really terrible together. They're the two most misunderstood on the Enneagram.

And they have this understanding of each other's intensity. Their intensity is very, very different. And their motives are very, very different. But you know, when they're hot, they're real hot. And when they're not, they end up in jail. Let's just say.

Ones have a hard time with a lot of people when they're not healthy because their standards are so high, their expectations are so high that a lot of times, no matter how much we appreciate the level of which the one operates, if you are in a relationship and you feel like nothing you ever do will ever live up, you will get tired of it. And so ones can really struggle with this. But ones, when they are healthy, oh my gosh, they make us all better. And so the goal for everyone, obviously is to get to the best level of health and integrate your growth number. So a 1 in growth takes on the healthy 7, which typically a 7 might drive a 1 crazy because the free spiritedness, anything goes. Part of the seven really goes against the one's nature. So you can see when we go into our growth numbers, we can embody something that looks quite opposite of our natural disposition. Temperament stereotypes. So that's typical for the ones. The threes, they can. They're great. They're great with a support staff. They like to be the star of the show. So a two can be great for a three and nine can be great for a three.

A five can be great for a three. Anybody that tries to compete with a five for attention, there can be a power struggle. But the threes have to be careful because their goal driven attitude can.

Abandon relationships. Not intentionally, they sometimes come by this innocently, but, you know, it's, it's something that's. They have to always be aware of. We've all got a blind spot. Fours, they're a lot. Their emotions are very vast and can experience the full range in five minutes. So it takes a patient person with a four. Fours bring emotional capacity to a relationship, which honestly, that brings in more intimacy and vulnerability, which I know this one firsthand. This one is really important for when people are trying to navigate relationships with fours, knowing that they may seem dramatic, but it is very real for them. Fives, they're awesome. They're awesome. They're great with sixes, they're great with eights. They're great with.

Twos. Threes, fives. As long as their partner knows that they need their space, this will work out great. So you can see where all of the types, like when we're in our best version and moving into our growth number.

It can work because we can embody the other eight types. But I don't believe there's any terrible mix. I believe that the right people come into our lives at the right time to teach us something.

So there's no terrible mix. Now, how that gets expressed is a whole different show. Let's talk about that. Taylor from Florida asks, are there certain types that are better for certain professions?

And the same answer applies. Like, I believe that any type can do anything when they're at their best and in their growth number. Their stereotypes, however, might keep them in certain professions where they can shine their gifts. But for me, like, I like to push people into their growth number, so I like to challenge them, myself included. You know, if you look at me for, for example, the eighth biggest fear is of being betrayed and violated and showing vulnerability. And Almost the last 10 years, that is what you know me for is this raw, real, tell it like it is. Vulnerable, compassionate person. Not typical 4 and 8, right? But because I've worked hard to go into my growth number, it's why it's possible and it's why I shine today in it. You know, I would say the ones stereotypically, they're a great.

Detail oriented person. They're your integrator. They're the get it done. They don't necessarily want to be the star of the show, but they need to be appreciated. So having a one as a right hand can be very, very great. They are like an operations manager. They figure out every detail and they will do it. They don't cut corners. They get it done. They get it done right. You will know that it's at the highest of standards and that's really, really great. But you better appreciate them. Twos are your interpersonal people. Anytime that compassion or connection is involved, this is where they shine, where people have a safe place to be themselves or, you know, a hug or anything. And I don't minimize, like hugs and things like that. Twos definitely are in the people business. No question about it. Even in their growth number, which is their four, which is the individualist. That's all heart too. They're all heart. Anything that requires compassion, empathy, people, connection. Twos are your people. Threes, they can crush any goal. Quite honestly, anything that they want to win at, they will be good at. And that's awesome. That's awesome. Where I like to challenge threes is to play a more supporting role at times because their need to win a lot can alienate the very people that they want to help. So being mindful of your three fours, anything that involves creativity, storytelling.

Dramatics.

Acting, music, creativity, writing, they're amazing. They're great copywriters. They can evoke emotion out of anyone that's why we love them. Fives. They are your behind the scenes person. Give them a job. They're very, they're your expert at anything. I've talked about this a lot with fives that are going into entrepreneurship. A lot of times, you know, they, they are, you know, the brains in a workplace and sometimes they get pissed because their ego is telling them, well, we could do this way better. Why don't we go on our own and do this? And they, they do. And then they realize that when they are the head of this business as an entrepreneur, they can't hide out like a five likes to do. There's no like, you know, being a backup dancer when it's when you're the main star of the show. So they can do it and they can do it well. They just need to know that sometimes they will have to lean into that growth number eight and be a little more decisive instead of in their head, which is hard for a five to do. But you want, I want fives in my life because they are like your expert researcher gurus, details, especially about things they're interested in. If they're not interested in it, no. So find something A5 is interested and let them have at it. And let them have at it solo. A lot of the time they don't like group things. Sixes, your troubleshooters. My God. Strategists. The best strategists in the world, I believe, are sixes because they look at worst case scenario in every situation. They, they think about, well, what if, what if, what if? This is good and it can also hold them back, right? But any six in a strategy position.

Is magnificent. Sevens. Sevens can be great at anything for a short period of time. Where sevens can get into trouble is they have all these ideas and they can bounce from thing to thing. So sevens are amazing.

Amazing. They are the innovators of the world, the world changers. Like, there's no stupid idea. The key for a seven is if you're an entrepreneurial seven, you must have the ability to tap into your healthy five, which is your growth number and have some solitude. So all these ideas, or at least you can prioritize your ideas and know that you won't ever be caged into anything. But you have to have a support staff of executors, you know, even though the ones can be irritated by a 7, the ideal person for a 7 is a 1 to keep them on task or a 6 to keep them on task. Sevens need the support around them and compassion around them because their Ideas are life changing apes.

They love to lead. They do. They're hard to lead, but they love to lead. And they're great at leading. They make shit happen. They're big action takers. As long as they're healthy, they can change a workplace for the better. They can change the world for the better than Mother Teresa. But when they're not healthy, they can be a cancer. They will take everybody down with them because their fear of being violated or betrayed, especially if they don't trust in the leadership in an organization, it can be very, very hard to wrangle them in. Straight shooting them is very, very important. So that's the key to an 8. The problem with an 8 too, is they don't like to ask for help. And you know, I'm speaking my own language here because it is very hard for me to ask for help. Not because I think I'm better than anyone, but because I don't want to have to rely on anyone. And that is a vulnerability that the 8 will protect. So if you're leading an 8, loving an 8, know that this is quite possible. And encouraging them to lean into their growth number two will be really important.

My nines, they are, oh, my gosh. They are your people that bring people together in the workplace. They organize group functions. They're great event planners. They're very low key, no judgment. They see the bigger picture of things. That's why, like an event planner or somebody that organizes group things, wedding planners.

And they don't get highly emotional about it, you know, and they, they don't have their own opinions. A lot of the times they've learned to push their opinions, thoughts, beliefs aside for the environment. That's why anything that engulfs team unity, team parties, events, they are the culture keepers, for sure. So that's what that looks like in other professions. Katrina from Washington asks, what does your recovery look like these days and do you still attend meetings? So I will have nine years of sobriety this year from all substances.

Including my disordered eating, which is a miracle. I have always, I do always work a strong recovery program because I believe anything you put in front of it goes first. Or anything you put in front of it, you'll lose. Right. So that has to come first, is what I meant to say. Do I attend meetings currently? No. I think they're fantastic. I really, really do. Especially in the early days. They saved me. They really, really did. Because I think so often when we're in crisis or in pain like that, we think we're the only Ones experiencing it and those meetings and you hear other people.

And you realize, wow, we're all a lot more alike than we think. Whether it's in addiction or in the real world. Right? The land of social media. So I always put my own recovery first. And what does that look like? I'm taking a personal inventory. Every single day I check myself.

In all of my motives. Whether it's a post on social media or a conversation or, you know, my interpersonal relationships or the way that I parent. I, I am constantly, every move I make, every word I speak, I take an inventory of the motive behind it. Because in my opinion, the opposite of addiction is connection. And as long as you're connected to your soul, a higher power, I call it God, you can call it whatever you choose to.

If you disconnect from a source, the divine God, your soul, it's just a matter of time before you seek something outside of yourself for comfort, for relief, for no feeling. So I do do that every day. I have a strong support staff, my inner circle, a few of them have strong recovery background. So we know the things. I do my inventory, like I said, every day, when I'm wrong, I promptly admit it. I make amends whenever I need to, very quickly. And so that's what it looks like. If you are new and not sure where to turn, I highly suggest, if you're a woman, go to women's meetings.

I've been to Coda, which is Codependence Anonymous. I've been to Al Anon, I've been to AA meetings, I've been to NA meetings, I've been to.

Overeaters Anonymous. I've been to a lot of them. And you know, if you've been and you think it's not for you, then try another, try another. Because honestly, it seriously, the first four years of my recovery I went religiously and it was life saving and there was nothing happened for the reason that I stopped. I just knew that a lot of the work that I do today, I work with a lot of people in recovery.

Whether they talk about it publicly or not. I think that most people are struggling with some kind of addiction because most of us at some point or another seek something outside of ourselves for connection. So in my one on one coaching, I do address this, whether it's a substance or people, places or things. So if you need help with that, I think having some skin in the game to get a handle on, not just what we do, but why we do it can help you. I mean, in almost nine years, there's only been one moment for about five minutes. I wish I could drink. That's a miracle. And that's because of the strong recovery that I do. Angie from California asks, how do you end a relationship, friendship or business partnership that you know is toxic or bad for you and that you know, is done without drama, whether it's, you know, people getting upset or family. And here's the thing I wish I could tell you there was an easy way to do this. You can't control people, places or things. You only know your motive and intent behind it. And again, the one thing that I have said before is like the self honoring process.

Doesn'T always have a fan club, right? And if you know that you want to end this relationship, whether it's business or personal, for the greatest good of your soul, and you know that it isn't because you hate this person or whatever, because if you are in a healthy spot and you know that everybody's got their own stuff and a lot of the behaviors you see are coping mechanisms.

I know that I've had to end a lot of relationships, even with very close family members, and it's painful and they don't see it as very loving of me. And I understand that. But at the end of the day, there's a little girl inside of me that deserves to not have to be this chameleon or.

Be something that she's not. And I will not keep putting her in situations that she feels like she has to do that. And I want you to imagine if you're a parent or even if you're not, or if you, you know, are protective of the innocent child out there, whether it's yours or not, Would you ever put that innocent child in a situation that isn't good for them? Of course you wouldn't. Now you can go on hot like a crazy mama bear and blow shit up, which I've done before.

And make an explosive ending so that there's no way to kind of go back into it, or you can sometimes energetically just disengage, which is my method that I prefer. And I it is so loud that I don't have to say a word sometimes, or you can have a hard conversation, but if you know that this is coming from a honoring loving place for yourself, how that other person receives it, really, you can't control and it's none of your business. And they probably, I would say 90% of the time won't take it well. But I want to ask you, how long can you continue like this? How Long can you continue to build resentment? Because that will disconnect you from your soul and from the divine, which we know where that can go. How long are you going to waste another day of your life in something that you know doesn't serve you anymore? If you haven't read the poem Reason, Lifetime, I can't remember the author, but if you Google that, you'll see it. Not everybody is meant to be in our life for the long haul. Sometimes for a season, sometimes for a reason. And I. I have gotten very clear energetically and emotionally. I can tell when somebody's part of my story is over. And nobody's bad, nobody's wrong. I didn't waste time. You know, I do believe that everything, everyone has come into my path at some time for some reason, and you for them. And so when people, you know, end relationship with you too, you need to understand that as well. And I've had lots of people end relationships with me without a conversation. I'm not lying. It doesn't feel good. But I also understand it. I also understand that sometimes our part and people's story is over, and sometimes their part and ours is over and you get one life. Honestly, you don't have all this plethora of time to be wasting. So you must pick and choose who gets the. The bulk of your time. And if it's a business partnership, figure out a way. Yes. Our relationships, whether business and personal, intertwined and complex. Yeah, they are, but you can, you can unwind them. But the good news is, it's up to you. The bad news is, it's up to you. Karen from Des Moines says, what's the deal? Are you still doing network marketing? And the answer is, abso, freaking lutely, absolutely. For eight years, I have been part of one network marketing company. The first four and a half, I was all about it front and center. I knew when I started network marketing, I knew that it was going to be a stepping stone to build a life of freedom and choices. I still am with that company. I still help people in that company, whether it's product or business.

I do. Do I talk about it all the time? No, I don't. But I still. Absolutely. I think it's one of the most brilliant ways to get your feet wet and what real entrepreneurship would look like. Because honestly, if you're a network marketer, you aren't necessarily an entrepreneur because you still are tied to a company and you are a subcontractor at that company.

Basically. Does it mean that you have to do it? Anybody's way, but your way. Absolutely not. So that's why I love it for entry level entrepreneurs. And I actually suggest it before, like you go and do your own passion project a lot of the time. But the thing is, is I knew the day and it was actually April 1, 2013 that I decided I was going to go all in with network marketing. And I knew that I was going to build something so solid that when the passion project time came, I would have such a solid foundation of residual income that not only could I do other things and I have three businesses at this point, and could I offer my services at a investment that quite honestly most people are like, that's it. Yes.

This is my way of really providing value and service. I mean it certainly isn't free and it is an investment, but it's a lot less than the average high level, high, high master performance coaches that are out there. And so my network marketing has helped me fund a lot of this, but I always knew that there was something after network marketing. But the beautiful part about this, and if you're a network marketer, I encourage you build a legacy foundation of leadership. Not of income, but of leadership. I have seven millionaires in my organization. All there's five different Enneagram types represented amongst those seven and not one of them is an eight. So I was able to effectively guide these people all worked their asses off. I take no credit for their success. I don't take responsibility for anybody's lack of it either. But I had to go first and to show, you know, know the way, go the way, show the way. So you know, those people have gone on to build legacy businesses themselves. So if you're a network marketing person, definitely build that strong leadership, but you have to lead yourself first. And that's why I knew that, you know, as I was transitioning into something that I'm super passionate about in leadership. I mean, this whole podcast is about leadership and I use the Enneagram to build that, you know, and teaching people how to effectively lead themselves will allow for many of you to have strong network marketing businesses and leadership so you can do your passion projects. So yeah, if you do need help with network marketing or you want to be aligned with me like I work, you know, the statistics don't lie. I mean there's about 2% of people that will take network marketing and run with it. So, you know, I will work with those and help people in business that are willing to really be self led, but led by me as well. And so if that's Something that you want to explore, Just reach out. But I love the company that I'm with. I love the products that I take. I love the business model. I think it's magnificent. And honestly, it has given me freedom and choices, not just in my passion projects, but in my health as well. When I was in a health crisis a few years ago, I was able to pay cash for $200,000 worth of medical services that were not covered by insurance. So you want to laugh or turn your nose up at network marketing, think again. Gives you lots of choices.

All right, Jessica from Fort Worth. All right, we're getting personal, y'. All. Are you dating anyone? I never see anything on your social media that's personal other than your kids and dogs. And if you are, why don't you ever share that? Well, oh, my heart's racing on this one.

You know, when I got sober, I was in a relationship, and it was.

A good relationship. A very unhealthy.

I see now why we ended up together.

And when one of you starts to grow.

And change and the other isn't doing that, which I put no expectations on that person, it's. It's not going to work. And it didn't. And the way that it ended was very abrupt and scary and violent, and my kids were strongly affected by that. They loved that person so much. He was an amazing person to my kids. And it was hard. It was really hard to go through that. In my early stages of sobriety, I had just started my network marketing company.

And so I also had time to really look back at a lot of my relationships and see my pattern and my part in why they didn't work. You know, because again, we can't control people, places or things. We can point our fingers at people, whether it was my marriage or this relationship or whatever, but all we can worry about and change is our part in things. And so I, you know, in building my network marketing company and really being the foundation for my kids that I was committed to because our kids, they were teenagers at the time of that they were 14 and 15. And kids will do what we do, not what we say to do. So I wanted to be a role model of strength and courage and integrity and standards and work ethic that, you know, I needed to walk my talk for them so that they could have that kind of model. And so for seven years, I did that. And, you know, I have the best relationship with my kids. I was able to identify where I go wrong in romantic relationships. And sure as shit, you know, I knew that I didn't want to grow old by myself. I don't. I think we were all meant to do life together. Whether it's romantic or not, I don't know. But sure enough, when I declared in Sedona with some friends of mine that, no, I don't want to be alone forever, my good friend Jen, she said, okay, o', Malley, you've proven you can do life alone and that you can crush anything in your way and you don't need anybody, but do you really want to do this alone? And I said. I was bawling. I'm like, no, I really don't. And sure enough, a few weeks later, somebody walked into my life, and.

I knew it immediately, and it scared me, and I resisted it. It's very, very slow. It's very, very complicated, but it's beautiful. And so, yes, I have been dating somebody, and he's wonderful, and he.

Is incredible, and he makes me feel all sorts of shit. And he also challenges me and triggers me, and I take triggers today as an opportunity for growth. And. And it's a good thing. It will go slow, I'm sure. Why don't I show it? Because you know what? Right now, I just don't feel like I want to. You know, I've shared so much of my life, all parts of it. My. My dark sides, my joyful sides, my kids, my home, my pets. You know, sometimes I. I feel like I just want to keep something for me, you know? And for now, will that be forever? I don't know. But I would love to share him with you one day because he's amazing. He's an enneagram 4, so that keeps things spicy for her. But because he's an enneagram4, he makes me feel all the things when my eightness wants to just tuck and roll and do the duck out and say, fuck this, I'm out. So it's a beautiful thing, and it's. It's growing me and challenging me in ways that I never thought possible.

But relationships are. Are the most vulnerable thing. Intimacy. I didn't really even know what that was until a few years ago. So the fact that I am able to have intimacy, not physical, but, like, emotional intimacy with a man is a miracle. Never thought that that would happen, quite honestly. So there's your answer. Jessica from Fort Worth, Amy from North Carolina asks, what do you do when you're not on the same page with parenting styles or have different standards of what good parenting actually is?

This is a tough one.

It's tough. And obviously Ideally, we would have had more of these conversations before. Kids happen, you know, I was super young when I had kids too, and that didn't happen either.

Thankfully, I was on the same page with my ex in a lot of ways. But in a lot of ways we weren't.

In a lot of ways we weren't. And it was challenging. And the most important thing is healthy communication, quite honestly. And blaming and pointing fingers and emasculating somebody, you know, a father is never good. And, you know, full transparency. I was the queen of emasculation. That. That was a huge issue in all of my romantic partnerships previously, by the way. And men that listen to this show.

You know, being the Disneyland dad or the good cop all the time isn't always good either, so. But. But here's the thing. You have to. It can't be who's right and who's wrong. Like, both of you have perspectives that are true to you, and neither of you are wrong.

You know, it's coming together, unified, whether you're divorced or not, or divorced or married or not. I've seen some amazing parenting, co parenting from divorced people. And quite honestly, sometimes that works a lot better than when you're living under the same freaking roof, right? Not promoting divorce or anything, but either way, whether you're still married or divorced or whatever, healthy, compassionate communication will go a long way. Because if you're trying to just be right, you're never gonna. It's gonna be a power struggle the whole time. Trust me. Take it from somebody who did that. Granted, my ex had his own part in all of this too, but, you know, I'm taking my own inventory here. You want to do what's best for the kids, right? You do. And healthy communication, even if you don't agree, is what's best for your kids. Because in life, you're never going to agree on everything. But having, like, core values of your family, whether you're married or not will be really, really important. Having conversation about discipline and what that looks like and following through, that's the biggest problem I see in parenting today, is, you know, they talk a big game, but then the follow through doesn't happen because you don't want your kids mad at you or it's just too hard. Honestly, as a parent, it feels like you're being punished when you have to lay down the boundaries and stick to them. But I'm telling you right now, I remember when my kids were toddlers and I was hard in a good way, like super disciplinary and repetitious and Consistent because I knew if I let the wheels fly off the axle early on I would have hellion teenagers. And that's the last thing I wanted. And you know, it's. Consistency is the king to everything. So consistent follow through. Consistent. Healthy communication will be key if you're going into the conversation blaming your partner, whether it's you're married or not, it's never going to end well and especially won't end well for the kids. And one of two things will happen. Either they will second guess all their own decisions and never have confidence, or two, they'll learn to play you against each other, which doesn't end well. And you know what they're going to do in their future relationships? They're going to repeat what you don't repair so you don't have to repair it and stay married. You don't. But if you are married, it's really, really important that that energy isn't filling your house. And it will take some humble pie from both sides. All you can control is you and how you approach it. And you can't approach it with humility and compassion one time and expect things to change, especially if you've been pointing your blame finger around. So just know that healthy communication takes a commitment and it takes time and it takes consistency. And honestly, that's the best bet when it comes to parenting. Courtney from Canada asked, can you teach me how to do hair and makeup like you? I get this one more often than you would think. My daughter is a licensed professional makeup artist. She was trained out in L. A when she was 18 years old. So she's been doing it now, gosh, for six or seven years. And I was always good with makeup. Quite honestly, when I was a 10 year old, I was like that lipstick tomboy. You know, the programming I had was very clear on why that was. But I've always love to makeup. It's my creative expression. Why I do my makeup every day has nothing to do with vanity, really. I mean, I am vain, no question about it. But why I do it every day, it's my creative outlet. I love. It's like painting. So I've always done makeup and I had the 80s. You know anybody that's 40 and up the 80s, I had like the blue and purple and the blue and pink and the blue mascara. I've always been into makeup trends. And then when my daughter decided she wanted to do that, now my makeup is next level and I don't even have to hire her anymore, which is amazing. So I should do a tutorial on that. As far as hair goes, I've always been also very good at hair. Even in the 80s, I had the highest freaking poof you could have. I had the biggest hair you could. You could get.

I've just always been, again, it's a creative expression. So maybe let me know if you guys would like me to do like an Instagram, an igtv, a reel. Maybe I can do some of that. But it is my creative outlet for sure. I am a very creative person and it just seems to get expressed most with my hair and makeup and it always has.

Jessica from Arizona asks, what are you looking forward to this next year in business? And personally, Jessica, honestly, I'm looking forward to getting out of my own way, getting a support staff around me. I have one person that works for me currently and I need more help. I know that I've been energetically open to it and I've had some key people that have showed up in my life that I can see. They don't know it yet, but they are going to be the ones to help me so that I can carry this beautiful enneagram message out into the world and help more of you integrate it into your businesses and lives and use it.

To get me in front of more people to help more of you.

So I'm excited about that. Personally, I'm doing a lot more corporate and team.

And family group workshops, which fires me up to see teams that have a great mission in this world, be able to come together and communicate super effectively so that that can help change the world. Watching families know how to communicate with each other. I do a lot of family stuff that I don't talk about because it is private.

So I love team dynamics, whether it's the home team or the business team. So that's exciting and really having some awesome kind of structure on what that looks like. And I'm doing that currently. But next level this year, personally, honestly.

Watching my kids go on and adult, oh, I'm getting emotional. They're both in relationships right now that are very, very healthy and solid. They're both in careers that I see going places and they're growing at rapid pace even though they both still live with me and it's a very good situation. Neither one of them have to live with me. They both have robust savings accounts that they've worked really hard at. But we all enjoy each other's company. But I know that this is probably the last year of that and oh, it's coming up. I'm looking forward to seeing Them shine as adults on their own. They're incredible kids. I'm excited to see where this relationship that I'm currently in goes or if it is just here to teach me something, I'm excited for that as well. Obviously I'm enjoying it. I don't want it to be a just stepping stone for something else. But I'm excited for whatever that relationship is here to teach me, even if it hurts a little bit. I'm excited to turn 50. Today is my 49th birthday. As I'm recording this, I am excited to finish out my 40s. The healthiest I've ever been, the happiest I've ever been, and the most at peace I've ever been. I also look forward to traveling to some really cool places. And the final question on my list is from Samantha in Texas. How do I find my Tiffany or soul friendship? Most of you guys, if you've been following me for any length of time, you know my best friend Tiffany Carter. She is an amazing business strategist and coach. The best, quite honestly. And I met her three years ago and she is the very first person that has shown me what true intimacy looks like. She, she basically called me out when we had met and we had been interacting for a few years. And I knew like I have good people in my life, I've always had good people in my life. But my willingness to let people get close to me was non existent. People thought they were close to me, but there was always this wall made out of titanium. And not only was there a wall, there was like a moat around it. So nobody was getting past it. And it's not that they weren't the right people. These people that have been my friends for years, some of them I'm still friends with, I wasn't and I didn't even realize I was doing it. I wasn't willing to put that down. And Tiffany Carter was my first person in my life ever that I allowed that to happen. And the reason was, is because she could see me. She wasn't judging me for it. She wasn't afraid of me. She wasn't afraid to go toe to toe with me, which as an eight, I dig that. I don't always show that, I dig that. But she brought into awareness something that I really didn't understand and, and me putting these walls up, so much of it was subconscious and ingrained in me as, as an eight, that's a natural thing. But because of my past trauma, it just always was there. And so I didn't even realize I was doing it because I believed I was vulnerable. But I was never. I was never vulnerable in real time. And ironically, the timing of her coming in my life, I was open to seeing what that looked like. She. I knew she could hold that kind of space, not just as a friend, but in business as well. And talking about money and finances. I'd never talked about it with anybody before. And she has that capacity, and I have that for her, too. She prayed for me, too. And so you have to be willing, first of all, to. In order to find this soul friendship, you have to make room for them and you have to let go back to that earlier question. You have to let go of people that maybe you've outgrown, and it doesn't make them wrong or you bad or any of those things. But I had cleared the path for her, and that meant sitting in the wilderness of loneliness. Sometimes. I mean, it was lonely not feeling like, connected to another soul other than, you know, my kids. But.

You know, you have to be willing to sit in the uncomfortable, to call in the right people, whether it's a love interest, which, you know, I made room for that one too, or a soul friendship. So if you have friendships in your life that you know aren't going to grow you and, like, really help you, then you have to make room for them. And there's no kind of time limit on how long that can take. Took me a while to find my Tiffany. I was 46 years old when I met her. It's a long time to never experience what true intimacy is within a friendship. And I can't imagine my life without it. And because of me making room for her.

You know, my three closest friends are her and two other women. One I've. One I've known a long, long time. But our friendship accelerated after meeting Tiffany because once I knew what intimacy was, I was like, okay, hey, Jen. And she was experiencing the same thing. So, you know, and one other person I've only known three years, too, so three of two of my three closest soul friendships I've only known three years. So. But I had to make room for them. And you have to be willing to. And you have to have somebody. Don't pick the first one that comes along or the one that you vibe with. You want somebody that will speak truth to you with love, that are safe for you to be your most vulnerable without judgment, that will cheer you on.

While you're doing the most scary things for you. You know, I'm in Florida currently with Tiffany, and the whole Reason I'm here originally was she's doing a huge sense scary thing for her and her business and I wanted to be a support person for her and it just happened to be the week of my birthday, so that was a bonus. But to watch her shine in that something I know is super uncomfortable for her. It was like a proud parent and you know, me and my birthday are not friends. It has been a painful thing for me my entire life and to be with a friend that.

I will allow to celebrate me in a way that is still really uncomfortable. Like it's only the beginning of the day and it's really, really uncomfortable. But it's the first time I'm letting it happen. And it's gentle and it's loving.

So you have to really invite it in. You know, I hate the word manifest. I really, really do. But in order to manifest anything, you have to make room for what you're asking asking for. You have to cut out the things that will rob that from coming in. And then when it shows up, you have to be your most humble and vulnerable self for it to stick. So that's how you find your Tiffany. So I loved this episode. I loved answering your questions. I get many of these all the time. If you have questions, you can DM me and I will keep a list and we will do another episode just like this. But until next time, here's to becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram at traceeomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become bulletproof.

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