142: How the Enneagram can help you get out of all the boxes you’ve been put in

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author.

Enneagram expert, and multi million dollar entrepreneur.

And master performance and business coach.

I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and even an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week, I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

Let's go.

Okay, I know if you're listening to this, this does not apply to you, but I do know those of you that are now falling in love with the Enneagram and using it.

In your relationships and parenting and businesses. It's interesting. Once we start speaking this language and people around us don't understand it, they have opinions about what this Enneagram thing is. You might have heard people say, I don't want to label. This is putting me in a box.

Those things are stupid, people are unique and all of that. You know, I get that. The reason why I get that is because I pretty much said all that shit 10 years ago when my therapist wanted me to take this test. I'm like, listen, lady, I'm here in rehab. I don't really need another label. But today I want to talk about the Enneagram and looking beyond the box. Even those of us that are in love with the Enneagram use it.

If we're not careful. And because it is so complex. It is so complex. It's not complicated, but there are so many components to it. And I just applaud you all for tuning in here to this podcast to constantly learn more about it. Because if we just learn about our type, or even the types of people we care about or lead or love, we aren't getting the whole beautiful parts of this. There is so much more than just our Enneagram type, and there's so many different complexities to it. Now, I don't say that to scare you off from it, because it's constantly like this puzzle. We're putting together our own puzzle, the puzzle of other people. And not in a way to manipulate, but in a way to genuinely understand.

This has been so eye opening for me. First myself. You know, I realized when my Therapist asked me to take this, and I was very resistant, very stubborn, very eight. Like this. I'm not doing it.

She said, like this will help you get out of the box that not only you have put yourself in, but the world has put you in. And I have shared this maybe here before, but I know on a lot of coaching calls and stuff that I do that the Enneagram is like one third nature, one third nurture, and one third like how we learn how to cope and express ourselves early on in childhood to find worthiness, significance, love, approval, acceptance, certainty, power, justice, whatever, right?

And so when we can understand what the Enneagram can do for us, through us, around us.

It really provides a roadmap. And anytime you have a roadmap or blueprints, it makes the job a lot easier. Whether we're driving to a destination, having coordinates and a GPS system kind of leading the way through obstacles, it makes the trip a lot more enjoyable. You don't end up in a traffic jam. You don't take a detour. Sometimes detours are good. And the Enneagram can give you detours too. Just so you know, or like if we were building a house, you know, just kind of going rogue and throwing a bunch of concrete down and a bunch of two by fours up, that's not going to build a solid foundation for your, your home. I think so often we. We just want to live our life like the design center.

Now, in the design center, you get all the pretty parts, but if we put those pretty parts on a foundation that's made out of crap, it's never going to last. And in the Enneagram, I have been able to understand, not just understand my foundation, but navigate it in ways that.

Allow me to face challenges head on, have a lot more compassion for myself and others, troubleshoot or identify where I tend to sabotage. And the thing about the Enneagram, it really helps you get to the root of why you do what you do and others why they do what they do, and not just what I think. So often when we're beating ourselves up or others like I used to, we would be so fixated on the behaviors. But when we use the road and the map of the Enneagram, we can see that it goes much deeper than just the behaviors we see. I think how we're able to have compassion and effectively lead other people is when we can first do that for ourself. And.

You know, this is way more than just an Enneagram type. You know, you've heard me before. If you've been tuning in. You've heard me talk about subtypes, which are our instinctual responses to things. And each type, there's nine types, and each type has three instinctual ways that we respond to things. So that actually makes us having 27 different types. And at our healthiest, we're able to embody all of them. So you can see how complex all of us are now. We're all kind of motivated by one of three things at our core, we all use all of them. But knowing what dominates and why really gives you some framework to lead yourself and other people. There's also, you know, one of the things I love about the Enneagram, too. You know, I'm into anything that. And I'm open to anything that helps us be more aware of who we are at our soul level. Right. I'm not about labels. You know, I'm an Aries, though. Like, you know, that's my sun sign. But just like our horoscopes. And I don't care if you're into them or not, and if you're. If you're not into personal development, you can just turn this off right now. Totally fine.

But, you know, with like, my horoscope, even, I'm an Aries sun sign. My rising is.

Capricorn and my moon sign is Sagittarius. So there's certain characteristics, you know, that go with that. And the Enneagram has these things called wings. And we have a stress number and a growth number, and then we have centers of expression as well. We have triads and triadic types where we can look different parts. And really understanding the way that you act, the feel, the way that you act, the way you feel, the way you think, really understanding all of it and where this is all rooted from really allows you to flow a little more harmonious through life. Now, I'm not saying you're not going to get stressed out. I'm not going to say that it is without pain or that people won't trigger you from. Trigger you from time to time, or you won't lose your. Or, you know, you insert whatever thing that you go to, you know, the last few weeks specifically for me, I am in this season of.

I'm heavily into my introverted self. I haven't been showing up online as much. I am super private. I am being very reflective. And in the past, I would have really, really, really beat myself up over that. Especially when you're, you know, you've spent the last decade building a business online, and a lot of you know, what you know works you, you bounce off the people. And in the past, I would have forced myself out of this much needed introversion to gain some perspective and clarity. But using the app of the ins and outs of me, my type, my expression, my subtype, my wings, my growth, my stress allows me to use it for something beautiful. That being said, when we use this and navigate ourself in harmony, it doesn't mean it's easy. I have cried more in the last few weeks. I have had, you know, more breakdowns in a healthy way. I have felt lonely, I have felt scared. But I, I, I feel safe. And I feel at peace in a lot of ways too. And when we can feel the full range of human emotions, when we can navigate the harder parts of life and not look for something outside of ourselves other than the divine to guide us when we don't numb out on people, places and things, and we can use all this information and to really understand why we do what we do. We can live out what we're called to do. We can have the relationships that we desire. We can be the parent that maybe we never had or that we we've always wanted to be. I am a mom. And you know, I had really great parents. They're good people, amazing people. They weren't always great for me and I very rarely felt understood or seen or heard. And they did the best they could. And when we logically say those things and logically understand those things, it's one thing, right? And that's where the mindset work of a lot of the things maybe you have done have held you back. You can. I just got off a coaching call with a girl who's amazing. She's an enneagram3 and she was saying all the right things, everything, polishing it up, making it sound pretty understood all of it. And I did too. Like I understood most of why things happened the way they did in my life. But when we go to work to mindset our way through, but we don't let our self heart set our way through.

Our soul set never gets solidified. We're just kicking the can down the street. And I think for a lot of you, you are mind setting your way through life. Even those of you that are into the Enneagram, you want to understand it so that you can understand things. I don't think you need to understand anything more. I think you need to feel more. I think you need to have compassion for all the feelings that you need to have. And trust me, this is not freaking Easy. For about two weeks now, I've sat in.

The heart space of sadness and pain, and I don't like that. I am a girl that likes to be angry or just take action. But if we don't allow ourselves to understand, have compassion for, and feel the full range of emotions, honestly, the same shit's going to keep showing up, just in different wrapping paper. And the Enneagram can help you get out of the box and look beyond the box. You're more than just a type. So for those of you that aren't into the Enneagram, you're probably not listening, but even those of you that are into the Enneagram and are just so fixated on your type, and excuse me what that means, you're missing the point. There's so much more to you. Now. You can have framework. Having the framework allows me to stay on track. Having the framework allows me to see some of these things that for the longest time I wouldn't allow myself to see or I would beat myself up for, or they were just blind spots. When you have framework that can keep you on track and have compassion for yourself, you are able to help others do the same, whether it's in your home, in your partnerships, in your friendships, and in your businesses. This has been so powerful, and I'm innate a sort of another certification course right now and learning more and more and more about the complexities of the Enneagram to bring more of that to you. And for those of you that are already into the Enneagram and are digging it, it's information that's great, but if you don't know what to do with that information, I know it can be frustrating and you're not getting the full effect of it.

It's. It's interesting. I'm in this practitioner course, and I'm with probably 25 other people, and honestly, I could lead the course. It's. It's pretty awesome to know that the integration of the Enneagram is an art. And it is definitely my zone, for sure. And for those of you that either are just new to the Enneagram, you're just learning about it, or you know about it, but you're not quite sure how to navigate that, what to do with it, you have one of two options. You can do a typing session with me. Even if you think you know your type, we can make sure. Because the wrong information could definitely steer you in the wrong direction, and it won't be as effective as you would want it to be, or you. You know, that you have done a lot of the work. You have. You have done the personal development, or so you think. You have hired people, you've gone to events, you've taken courses, you. Whatever that is for you. And if you're good, then you're good. Just keep listening. But if you have this burning inside of you that you know you're not living up to your potential or you want to be and do and have more for your life, let me guide you. Let me show you how to use this framework and help you think outside of just your type of. And use all the components of the Enneagram in your business, in your personal life. I do much more than Enneagram in that. But we always come back to this framework because, you know, I want to make sure that when our time together is done, that you have the framework that you can navigate all the things life is going to throw at you until your time on Earth is done. Life is going to throw you curve balls. And, you know, it's how you stand up at the plate and take that curveball out of the park that will make all the difference. That when your time on Earth is done, you're like, hell, yeah, I crushed it. I crushed it. And I know for me, you know, the last 10 years of my life, I've almost. Almost got 50 of them under my belt. But the last 10 years, I will say that if my time on Earth is called tomorrow, I could sit at the Pearly Gates and say, you know what? I hit it out of the park. And I want the same for you. And I would be honored to take you on that journey. You can reach out to me on Instagram @tracyomalley, or you can go to my website, Tracey O' Malley.com. go to the work with me section and do one of two things. Sign up for an Enneagram typing session. It'll be the greatest hour and a half, the most valuable hour and a half that you can even imagine. And that's just the truth. You can ask anybody that's done it, or if you just want to do all of it, you're like, you know what, Trace? I'm tired of playing small. I am ready to go the distance. I'm going to tell you to put your. Your money where your mouth is, so to speak. This is where the rubber meets the road. I will take you through so much in such a short period, amount of time, but you're never in it alone. You will have me on speed dial to go the distance, to navigate some of the craziest things that maybe have ever come up for you and it will be out of this world. If you're tired of saying I'm ready to do more and I'm I'm ready for it, then it's time for you to pull the trigger. Go to Tracy O' Malley.com fill out the application to work one on one with me. I only have, I think one or two spots left. I've got a call in 15 minutes to see if there's only one spot left.

But this will change everything as long as you are willing to do the work. And one thing I can say about working with me is that not only will it be hard, but it'll be so rewarding and for so many people that I've walked alongside in this journey. It's pretty cool to know that you know somebody that isn't intertwined in your personal and business life, has your back and sees you fully. It's such a safe place. And for somebody like me who most of my life never felt, seen, heard and understood, I know how valuable that can be. And I take it. I take it with so much care and responsibility that even when I push you, and maybe even if you get mad at me from time to time, you know how loved, supported, safe.

And empowered you are. I'd be honored to take you on that journey. If you have questions regarding the Enneagram or there's something that you want to hear more about, definitely hit me up on Instagram at Tracy Underscore o' Malley I want to continue to bring you more of this beautiful gift that is the Enneagram to help you grow and thrive and live out every desire and dream that that you have for your life. And until next time, here's to becoming Bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@tracyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand.

On the front line of your life.

And do the work. Let's Become Bulletproof.