17: Undoing Damage of Decades to Change Your Legacy - Turning Addiction & Shame into your Power Story to turns lives around (Enneagram 7)

Foreign.

Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley.

I'm a mom to millennials, an author.

Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur.

And master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building.

A bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos, an extra kick in.

The ass, you will discover that here.

Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof.

Buckle up. Let's go.

Foreign.

Welcome to another episode of Becoming Bulletproof, the podcast. And I am so excited for this chat. Today I met this young man, gosh, was it maybe six, seven months ago, And I had heard an interview that he had done before, and I was like, if I was ever to have a little brother, this is who it would be. He would drive me absolutely batshit crazy like a little brother would. And equally, my heart just exploded. It's like my soul knew his. And then, you know, he's got Midwest roots like I do, which is amazing. We have a very similar background, not just the Midwest, but also we both have recovery under our belt. He's got over a decade and I'm coming up on eight years, which is no easy feat. You know, when I was in my first day in rehab, I heard this statistic that only about 2% of us would make it. And I remember looking around the room and basically calling all them out and saying, you're not going to make it because I'm going to make it. And so when I meet a fellow 2 percenter, there's just something very, very special about a human being that can do this and overcome what Jeremiah has overcome in his life. And as you listen to this interview, I am so confident you're gonna fall in love with him as much as I have. He is a special human being, not just overcoming what he's overcome, but what he has done with his story. His messes became a huge message and he is out to help so many people that have actually, you know, struggled in the same things that he has and giving them opportunities to build a life outside of, you know, what they've done. You know, sometimes I think that we think our story defines you, And Jeremiah is 100% proof that it actually can refine you into who you are always called to be. So with that, I want you guys to meet my beautiful friend Jeremiah Campbell. He is out in Michigan, and he is the owner and operator and founder and brainchild behind a company called Brain Brickworks. And we'll get more into that. So welcome to the show, Jeremiah.

I'm seriously flush right now. I'm like, you almost made me emotional right there. Like, you took me down that roller coaster, like, you're always so good at doing.

Super grateful beyond blessed to be on this call with you, and, you know my life and my journey, and when I met you, like, you sat right behind me the first time I met you at our Mastermind, and I'm like. And you started talking about recovery, and then the first thing you said was, I stay so busy, I don't have to be aware. And it just sounds like. Like it blew my mind because I'm like, that's me. You spoke right to my soul. And from that point on, I'm like.

I love her. She's like. And, you know, it's been beautiful, our journey, ever since, you know.

You know, when I heard you talk the first time, also, I heard the Midwest accent in there, too, so we both have that. I never knew I had one. I know you didn't think you had one either, but it's amazing when we meet, you kind of know. And, you know, one of the things I love most about you is just your transparency. And, you know, it hasn't been an easy road for you. It hasn't. So let's start there. Like.

What was the thing? You know, the show is called Becoming Bulletproof, and I think you and I operate even though our personalities could not be more different in a lot of ways, we. We both have a lot of fu in us. And becoming Bulletproof for me before was like this stoic wall you couldn't penetrate. I'd be like, fuck you. Fuck you. You won't hurt me. You won't take me down. But now I know that becoming bulletproof is like standing on the front line of my life, taking the hits and being able to handle them with grace and class, not without pain or hurt or scars. But for you to become bulletproof, to be who you are today, you probably had to take some hits along the way.

Gosh, yes. I mean, it's so. I really subscribe to. Things happen. They happen for you, not to you. You can, you know, always have a wonderful, great childhood when you choose to remember it differently. So my life growing up, I had siblings one Younger one, older, older, older brother, older sister. And I grew up in just outside of Detroit, Michigan. And it was extremely normal. It was a beautiful, normal life. Nothing crazy happened. Like parents got divorced, people got stabbed, like pots, pans gotten thrown. Like aunts and uncles got thrown in fires, you know. Extremely normal.

Totally. For me too.

I mean, yeah, because when you, when you deal with, you know, alcohol and drugs and family down south and meth and like all these crazy things that go on, but you're a child and you're introduced to this, you, I didn't know any difference. So it was exactly what I thought. And it was, it was super normal to me. So as I grew up, I always felt this, this weird pull on me and this thing to just want to be somebody different. And I didn't know what it was, and I thought it was normal. And then my father was raised by his father and his family, so there was never like a drop down the line, like, hey, you're gonna grow up and you're gonna have these weird feelings of inadequacy or not enough or being judgmental or all these things. And nobody ever taught me how. So. And it wasn't their fault, I don't blame them. But it was, it was me trying to trudge my way through life. And then I found at a young age, I found drugs and alcohol. And that was my solution to the craziness inside of my head that I dealt with on a moment to moment basis where I was like, I always thought that it was better and easier to be somebody different than myself.

So was. Was your dad or your mom an addict or a drug user or an alcoholic or anything?

So, yes, both on both sides of my family. And it's a long line of both of my mom's, most of my mom's sides, alcoholics or drugs. A lot of them were socially acceptable. So like, you know, and I know there's, there's different kind of classifications of alcoholics and drug addicts where some are socially acceptable. So my dad's, My dad's dad was shot and killed by a cop and a bank robbery. So like, you know, where that, where that went. And my uncle is blowing up their, you know, mobile homes, making meth and all that on my dad's side down south, and then my mom's side here. It was mostly alcohol and marijuana, things like that. And then my mom and dad, they really held it together. My dad, who growing up smoked a lot of weed, so I always knew what the weed smell was. And I would be loud Coming downstairs and stuff like that. So he would hide that stuff. And I'm a people pleaser. You know that. So, like, I always wanted to just make people like me. And so my mom and she had. She dabbled with it. But, like, for the most part, my parents were. I'm sure they drank and partied here and there because we stole their liquor. But, like, it wasn't. I never came home. I knew what I was going to get when I got home. Like, some people's stories say, well, my. My dad was an alcohol. He was drunk every time he came home. Like, I never dealt with that. Like, I was fortunate enough to know, like, I could probably name. My dad was always stoned. But that calmed him down, and he'd be like, son, I hate coming home. Your mom's a bitch. And like, I grew up with. I grew up with that.

Yeah.

But no, no. And then it just. There was nothing, like, crazy that happened. It was all an internal job which made me become the person I was.

How did you know that there was something different, though? Because, like, I know for me, I always said, I am not going to be like that. I'm not going to be like that. And because I didn't drink like my dad or not deal like my mom, I justified my behaviors in my head. I was like, yeah, I'm good. Until all of a sudden, I'm like, holy shit. I've just repeated this shit. Like, how did. When you found alcohol and drugs, like, you knew what that could do, obviously, in your family history, maybe not in your home, but when you took your first hit or your first drink, did you have. Because I remember clear as day, the first time Southern Comfort hit my lips. I was like, what the fuck was that? That just took my intensity, my anxiety down about 100 notches. And I like it. And so the chase began for me at 15 with one drink. How about for you?

For me? I hated it. I absolutely hated. I hated it. Like, I remember taking my first. We took, like, a paper towel roll and, like, put the toilet paper. Like, I don't know what we did. We took a paper towel roll and put, like. Like, aluminum foil on the top. And I remember choking and almost like. I think I actually literally vomited. I'm like, I'll never do that again. And the first time I drank was some sort of a wine or something besides, like, a sip of my dad's beer or, like, my uncle's beer. And it tasted like hell. I'm like, why would anybody ever drink that? And it was Something that I hated. Just like when it was the OxyContin and the prescription pills, I hated the way it made me feel, but I kept doing it. So I think it was a subconscious thing that I liked the feeling it was creating, but I physically hated it. I remember. I remember puking and puking and puking and puking. And just like. Just like every time I drank, and it was. I was puking on toilet. And you say that, Take this away from me, God, I'll never do this again. Praying to the force of God and knowing that you'd never do it again. So I just kept doing it. And it was more so now that you say that my surroundings, the people I was surrounded with, they were doing it and they were enjoying it. And I just wanted the community and feel and feel that I was accepted.

And that makes so much sense for you, like, knowing you the way that I do. Because you and I, like, this is where we're so different. Like, mine was for a different reason. But knowing you and your Enneagram Sevenness. He's an enneagram 7, y'. All, with a very strong, strong 8 wing, by the way. So this is why. Because I'm an eight with a seven wing. So this. That makes so much sense that, you know, for the seven, you don't want to just be in one place. You don't want to be bored. You. You want to be part of the action all the time. And if your environment is partaking, well, hell, yeah, you're gonna partake. And did you know that this. The seven on the Enneagram, is the most likely to become addicted? That's. That's one.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, because of the very thing you just said. So when that's happening, you know, and I know you've had a few stints in rehab and relapses and all of that, but there came a point. Was it. Is it almost 13 years now, right?

July. So, yeah, 12 and a half.

So July of, oh, seven, I believe. Right? Yep. Is when you got sober. So what was that? That this was the time. This was the time where enough was enough, where Jeremiah was going to. Even though, I mean, you guys, this man's brain and mind goes a million miles a minute still. And so to take that away, I know how hard that is for a person like me, but throw that onto somebody like you with your personality, I know how challenging it is. But In July of 2007, you decided enough was enough, and what was it?

So when I was getting high Like I knew again, that same tug that was telling me that I wasn't enough or I wasn't going to be enough my whole childhood and you know, doing the reverse emotional reactions and stuff and realizing it was somewhere at 5 and the closest I can get actually you and I worked together on this. When I realized that it was at some point somebody made me feel not part of and rejected me. So it was the same way. And it was that same poll that when I was getting high, people would like, people would stop getting high with me because they're like, jeremiah, you're nuts, dude. Like, and then I actually went by Jeremy. So when I got sober, I switched my name to what my real name is, is Jeremiah. And that's what I prefer. It's a way cooler name than Jeremy as my nickname growing up.

And that's funny because when we were talking me, you and Mallory, she called you Jeremy. I was like, okay, that was weird.

It's always. And she. So if you knew me pre 18 years old, like, that's exactly who I am and what I am. It's like, oh, Jeremiah. And I'm like, jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy. And I'm like. And the only person that called me Jeremiah was my mom. It was my mom. And she was like, oh, Jeremiah, Jeremiah, get over here. And I would be in trouble. So now I prefer it's way cooler. So anybody that knows me, like, especially in my hometown, in the area where I'm at, like, if they say. Or even better, they'll say Campbell. They're like, hey, Campbell, what's up? Because my. I have an older sister was very popular way way she was. She was a number three for sure. I mean she was for sure like national honor Society. Like all these achie. And so the only reason I know that's cause Mallory. So but it was. I was the person that always, always, always was, let's not get high anymore. Like that enthusiast came out of me and was like, guys like, there's so much better to life. They're like, dude, we just got high. Leave me alone. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, we should not be doing this. We should be like being productive members of this world and like we should do these things. So it was a series of things to where it was more so I was sick and tired of me.

Recovery.

Multitudes of reasons. For me personally, it was the drugs and alcohol stopped working. Like I couldn't get high enough. I couldn't get drunk enough to take away from the feelings that I felt about Myself. So I didn't use drugs to get high. I used drugs to deal with myself when I wasn't high because I hated the self. Hatred was so bad and so disgusting. And that was really. My entry into personal development was through the 12 steps was. Was like, this is who I am, and this is who I can't be anymore. And they were like, hey, by the way, if you're still that guy, you're gonna die. Like, you. Like, there's no like. And I'm like, okay, so it's not like a. Here, do this little journaling and do these self reflections and these mantras. No, it's bro, like, the person you are today will die. Do you not want to die? And I'm like, well. Well, no. And they're like, then stop listening to yourself. Listen to us, and do this shit over here. And then that was the kind of the. I'm like, I don't want to do. That's gonna keep a needle out of my arm. Like, I don't know if I want to, like, hugging shit. And this weird, like, holding hands and praying. Like, y' all weird. Like, I ain't got time for that. Like, I just want to learn how to become the person I was before. And that was my mission, which is just become that person. So the tipping point for me, to answer your question, the tipping point for me was I was strung out. My little brother was strung out. My older brother was drinking, and my sister was binge drinking. My mom was doing cocaine. Like, my dad was doing drugs. Like, my whole family was wrecked. My. They got a really nasty divorce. And I just said, you know what? Like, I know that I'm not. I don't want to die, and I know that I can't continue to live this way. And I never thought about suicide. Like, the thought would enter into my brain, but it wouldn't, like, ever stick. It would be like, oh, you can kill yourself. Like, oh, yeah, that sounds stupid. You're not gonna do that. And so, like, thank God that never happened. So the gift. The gift of desperation hit me, and it was like, then you have to do something about this now. And then I just hated being dope sick. I hated being sick. I hated being that bogue. And if any. Anybody's an opiate user, and they know that restless. The less restless leg. So when you stop using opiates, it feels like you want to cut your legs off and they kick and they. Like, it's there, itchy. And all you can do is take hot baths until your Skin hurts. And then like the shits and the diarrhea and the stuff, like all of that takes place and I'm like, I don't want to do that. So they said, then get clean, get sober. And you never have to go through that again. And it just stuck.

So you said something so profound. And I have watched, like, drugs were never my thing, but when I was in rehab, I saw people coming off the opiates. It was the scariest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. But you said something so important that you know, a part of, like, who you are today is going to die however. You just wanted to get back to who you always were. And that is, like, why I love the enneagram so much, because it's, it's not, it never changes, like who Jeremiah is. I can. If I, if I saw a little three year old Jeremiah running around, which I kind of do in watching your boys run around.

Oh, thank you.

That beautiful innocence and zest for life, I'm sure was there. And then, you know, gets expressed through environment and, you know, this totally, you know, air quote, normal life that you have with everybody strung out and doing all the things, you know, that created the expressive form of who you became and then obviously leaned into what you did. So in this road back to you, this, this road back on your soul path, which you have begun, and you know, you're still so young, which is awesome. And you know, your kids only know you as this. And you know your wife has been with you through all of this. Like, that's amazing. That's amazing that. I mean, I'm sure you had to pretty much walk away from everything except her. And it's amazing that that's happened, that that stuck. So how was that?

So Mallory and I grew up sort of together. I had a fake id and I used to buy her and her friend's booze. And she was always a hottie, right? So, like, she dated some guys I knew and I dated some girls she knew. And we were friends. We were always friends. And then I got a dui, lost my license. I almost died. I passed out. I was trying to get clean from the heroin and I took a bunch of Xanax and drank tequila and went to a baseball game, the Detroit Tigers. And I totaled my car, flipped another car. The guy that I ran into pulled me out of my car. Was terrible. I should have, like, I never say I should have died, because if I should have, it would have happened. But thanks to the grace of God, the guy that I hit, saved my life, and the car blew up and Hull shot, so didn't stop me. Like, I literally had Xanax in my pocket and marijuana in my sock when I went to jail. And I did them as soon as I walked out, so it didn't matter. Like, you know, being in the grips of addiction, when the obsession of the mind overpowers the body. So when I got my dui, she actually got a dui. So she's like a. She's an earth person, so she doesn't suffer from any of that. And she got pulled over visiting her boyfriend when she was 18. I was 20, I was 19, she was 18, and she was dating. I got out of rehab, my third rehab center, and I started dating her. So I always knew her, knew her family, all that stuff. So then we started dating after my third rehab center because she got a dui. And one of the guys that I knew growing up, we used to do drugs and party together. When I got out of rehab for my third time, I'm like, I got to give this 12 steps a try. So I started going to meetings, and I remember my buddy's dad was always sober. And I'm like, I think he goes to them classes. I'm like, I should probably give him a call. So I called him up and he's like, absolutely, I'll take you to a meeting. So he picks me up, go to the meeting. And he's like.

He came to pick me up. And I was like crying because I walked out of my house. My dad's like, you got to make up for all the shit you stole and what you did. And I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. And I was like, I was emotional, crying, like, three days out of rehab. And my buddy's dad was like, why don't you move in with me for at least a month? This was back before we had a lot of three quarter outs. This is back. I think there was five people in southeast Michigan under the age of 30 that were getting sober at this time. And I was 20. There was nobody, so. And it was a time where I moved in with him. And then my. I started dating Mallory because Mallory got a DUI and couldn't drive, so she was living next door. I had a job. I was a loser. And I'm like, hey, yeah, why? We started, like, hanging out, and then I remember, like, we were bowling a dollar bowling one time, and, like, I kissed her and like, that was the start of our relationship. And then it was two rehab centers later. And people are like, oh, yeah, yeah, you're right, because she's a beautiful blonde, right? She's a bikini model. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I should tell her, like, oh, yeah, your wife's a gold digger. I'm like, that's my favorite.

I know, right? Oh, they always see the glory, but they don't know the story, right?

So she bought me cigarettes and drove me to rehab when I didn't have a car, a license or a job. Like, literally bought me a carton of cigarettes with her own money. And then her mom would slice her tires when she continued to date me because she didn't want us together. So, like, no, it was before the houses and the cars and the lifestyle and all of that. Like, she stuck. Like, we'd still be together if it wasn't for any of that. Like, we know that. It's like we've been together for, shoot, I don't know, 14 years, something like that. We've been together, I mean, almost half of my life.

And when you guys, when I see you guys together, it's like, it's so evident why you're together. It's amazing and electric. Like you can't not feel the electricity when you two are together. So.

You mentioned the houses, the cars, the lifestyle, all of that. So, you know, people will look at me today and say the same thing. Oh, must be nice. I'm like, listen, you don't even know, like, to come from rock bottom to build what you have built, how did that happen? Because all we see is what we see and we highlight reel. Right, right. The glory. But there's a story behind there of how you end up running a company called Brickworks.

I never thought, like I was four years in the business and Mallory was like, how long do you plan on doing this? And I'm like, I don't know, but like we're making money. Like we were just dating and. And so it was again at a 12 step meeting and I was standing there smoking a cigarette that I had to roll myself. Mind you, I haven't smoked in 11 years. And I was drinking like a dollar energy drink. And there was this kid named Ken that was standing. He had slacks, good looking kid, Mr. T starter kit on and gold chain and. Yeah, right. So he had a pack of store bought cigarettes and he had a Red Bull. And I'm like. And at that point, that was all the hope that I needed. Yeah, these guys got it together, they got it going on so he doesn't.

Have to roll his own Cigarettes.

Yeah. Like that's. He's arrived. Like, he's doing good, that guy. That was my threshold for, like, success.

Hey, one step at a time, baby.

And he walked over to me, he's like, hey, who are you? Introduced himself and he's like, hey, yeah. He's like, you got a job? And I'm like, not really. And he's like, he's like, well, I'll come pick you up tomorrow. Dress nice. We're going to go canvassing. And I'm like, what is canvassing? I don't even know what that is. And he's like, we're gonna go knock on people's doors and tell them they need to get stuff fixed if we find something wrong with their house. I'm like, fantastic. So he picks me up the next morning and he's like, go knock on that guy's door and tell him that he needs his porch tuck pointed. And I'm like. So I walk over there and knock on the door and I said, excuse me, sir. I just walking by and I noticed that your porch needs to be tongue and grooves. And he's like, excuse me, what did you say? And I'm like, yeah, your porch has to be tongue and grooved. He's like, do you mean tuck pointed? I'm like, yeah. He's like, how do you do that? And I'm like, I don't know, but the guy over there does. And I called my buddy over and he sold him a job for like $300. And like two days later, they did the job and I got a hundred dollar commission for them doing the job. And from that point, that was where the seed of entrepreneurship was actually planted. Where it was the first time in my life that I traded. I didn't have to trade time for money. It was something that I use as an ability to sell and tell this guy that he needed something done. He's like, well, it's been done before. And then I started learning and understanding the way that you can use your words and you can use leverage on your experience. And then from that point, you know, it took about, I'd say about three or four years of. I worked with him for three months and then I went and got my builder's license and I went and asked an attorney how to start a business. And they told me how to start an llc. Started an llc, got my builder's license, hired somebody to teach me. Then I became a subcontractor for other contractors in the area. I saw a huge need because they were like, they were telling customers something and then ripping them off and telling me to cut corners. And I'm like, this is ridiculous. So then I just became a prime contractor, started doing my own advertisement, and started hiring people. And then as I started learning those things, I was like, wait a minute. Like, I'm kind of like, the best in the area. And then I'm like, oh, wait a minute. Like, let's start capitalizing on that. And then we started using our reputation as leverage. So we have over a thousand online reviews, and we. We have the team. I've had a team up to 70, down to 30 over the last years. Right now we're at about 45, 50. So, yeah, it's just been a learning thing. And I don't ever act like I know everything, because there's a hundred ways to do things in life, and I just. I genuinely care about people and giving people the right product. So that was really my ethics that I've used and brought it in my business.

So one of the things that I love about healthy Enneagram Sevens and my daughter, when you were talking earlier, I was like, oh, he's just a male version of my daughter. This explains it.

She's awesome.

She is awesome. She drives me crazy, too. But what a healthy enneagram7 does is.

They don't think inside any kind of box. And especially when they are on point, they can problem solve. And because they're so infectious, people just want to be around them. And when you're in integrity on top of it, your reputation will follow. And so, I mean, you're not like, obviously the character defects that you've really worked on, that part of you that needed to die did. But the core of who Jeremiah is is the same as the kid that was in Detroit with the other addicts. You were infectious then. You were part of a culture then. You were. You were in that. Yet you took the healthier parts of you and brought it into something for much bigger. Obviously, yeah, you got good at it. You were making money. But then you actually really gave a shit about really helping people and not ripping people off and then putting people to work that couldn't get jobs.

Yep.

Which is amazing. So.

I love that. Like, I love that. But then there's this part about the seven on the Enneagram that gets bored. And once you master something, like, you're the type of guy that you will learn it, learn it, learn it, learn it, learn it. Because when a 7 goes into growth, they go into the 5, which is the investigator. So once Jeremiah is into something. My daughter's the same way. You'll research it and you'll understand it and you'll master it when you're healthy, which is what you've done with what you're doing. You are the best at what you do. And so there comes a point where it's like you've got your business running like a machine. And you're like, I don't even really need to show up here much anymore. And I know this kind of journey into your own personal mastery started. And you started. It's where we met in a mastermind. You spent a week with Dr. Joe Dispenza, like, things like that. When. When did you realize? Because you and I both know, like an idol, what an idle mind can do. And if. If your mind gets too idle for too long, you know where that can go, right? And is that what kind of led you to this next level, personal mastery.

So this is exactly why I love you to death. So I did not like that you just said my life. So, like, I'm in a group called Entrepreneur Organization as well. And it's an. It's the same thing. So we have monthly meetings and we have this, but these. So I did a deep dive on like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with my life? Like, what am I supposed to do with my time? Because it's exactly what it is. I get the business up and going. I rolled out eos, I created these models, and I started holding everybody accountable. I reinvent this, I get super bored. I actually run five different businesses. We have real estate investing. We have the three quarter houses now. We have the network marketing now. We have all these different things. We have the brickworks now. I have my house pulled apart that I'm building. I have my cottage that I was supposed to sell before I bought my next house that's tore apart. I got flooding's going on there. I'm trying to fix this house here. And the people around me start to see that too. They're like, wait a minute. Like you. You actually, like, you have to have a thousand things. And I'm like, damn it. Here. I literally hear you in my head. You stay so busy, so you don't have to be aware. And I'm like, nope. Bringing it back in. So my morning routine, I meditate and I do cardio with my wife every single morning. My. We do. We spend an hour together between like 4:45 and 5:45 every morning. So we started doing that a couple months back. And it's it's been changed forever. Like, it's changed our relationship because as I entered into that, there was a. There was a calling. It was back. I've been in masterminds for about seven, eight years now. And it was personal. Like at my house, the whole the Napoleon Hill kind of mastermind minds alike. And then I started doing elite level. This will be my third year in an elite level Mastermind. And then it was going on this growth journey, but I started to change so much and evolve that I was leaving my wife behind. And so now that she started to ask so many questions, I'm like, you're going to come with me and this is what we're going to do. We're going to grow this together. But for me, the personal mastery is. It's kind of like golf, where it's something that I'm never going to master, but it's something that's super challenging to me and it's so easy, yet so complex that it's never going to be ending. And there's much so, so many things I literally just bought. I had this Pavlok monitor that I was using to track my sleep and my habits, but I didn't like it because there's too much efts. And then I literally hooked it up yesterday. This different sleep monitor on my bed, it's in my mattress to where it tells me how much I sleep and how much I don't sleep. So I'm obsessed with becoming the better version of myself because I know how it makes me feel when I'm able to truly capable be 100% in my core competencies of the BE. Now I know that I'm an enthusiast. So like, let me be an enthusiast and then I can put. So it's not, I want, if I want to get somewhere, it's not, it's not how, it's who. Who do I have to put in place? Who do I have to hold accountable to that? And then when it comes to I can do that with business. So, like my number one thing in my company is my culture. Like, I have a thoroughbred culture. Like you would not believe. Like, my guys would literally laid like I have in. The reason they would is because like you said, I took them down when they were in the gutter and said, listen, follow me, I'll show you. Now you're talking about brand new supercars, you're talking about houses, you're talking about. I mean, I have guys that work for me that could be making at McDonald's as a manager making over six figures, working in my organization just because. Not because I'm a great leader. It's because I'm able to inspire them and share, show them, like, hey, dude, it's not that hard. Like, I'm not that unique. I just give a shit. And I. And I pay attention and I celebrate the small wins. So the personal mastery. It's fascinating to me, the fact that, like, I'm a person and then there's the ego. And, like, if I can, if I'm able to separate from those two, like, nature always takes care of itself. My body and my mind will take care of itself when I don't interfere with it. Just like my sobriety, just like, my recovery. Like, I'm going to be able to always stay sober if I continue to expand and deepen upon my spiritual experience. Well, what does that look like? Like, what does my spirit need? First off, I have to identify what my spirit is. Who am I and what does Jeremiah want? Well, now I know I'm an enthusiast. Now I know that I want to help people. Now I know I was sitting in our Mastermind writing our 2020 goals, and Mango, she's. We're sitting there talking, and I turn around and she goes, jeremiah, I want to tell you something. I said, what's that? She's like, not one of your goals has anything to do with your business or money.

And so I'm like, okay. So that really was good reflection for me, because what am I really searching for? So I always thought I was searching for happiness. And it's nothing to do with happiness. Happiness is a fugazi. It's not real. I can always. I can eat chocolate and have orgasms all day, and it's physically impossible to be happy. So I'm like, okay, I'm looking to be satisfied. And what does satisfaction look like to me? Okay. Like, for me personally, it's always to turn over the next rock. To say, I used to act like this. This is now how I act. This is now what my life is capable of. Let's get uncomfortable. Let's get weird. Let's figure out what we can really do. And then that's why the very first time I got to our mastermind, I said, I want to start a business with my wife and I want to work with my wife. And I'm like, I don't know where that shit came from. Like, what? Like, who even wants to spend more time with their wife? Like, in my family. My dad told me he dreaded walking in the house, so that wasn't a modeled behavior. That wasn't a behavior. So that was spiritual. That was like, I want to be able to experience things. I want to be able to go live abroad. Before my kid turned my son. He'll be 6 in March before he turns 15. I got nine years to figure out I want to spend a year abroad. Why? Because. Who does that?

Because you can.

Because I can't. Why can't I?

And you said something else that was so profound, I don't even know if you realized it. But like this, you know, this constant turning the stone over to see what else is there. What else is there. I mean, you were living that as an addict, too, but it was for a different motivation because you felt something was missing. I think now that you don't feel like anything missing. It's just this beautiful journey that, you know, doesn't end until we're done on Earth. And it isn't this desperation to find it, even though you're accelerating your growth, because you are doing all the things and you are willing to stand on the front line and take hits and say, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but I'm here doing it. And I know that I have the tools in my toolbox, that when they do come, I can handle it. I don't have to drink. I don't have to use. I don't have to, you know, spurt off at the mouth at my wife. I don't have to smack my kid. I don't have to do any of that. But the only way to squeeze the juice out of every day and turn every stone over is to stand right here on the front line of all of it. And you're doing it.

That's it.

You're doing it. So there's a lot of guys that are listening right now, which is awesome. And, you know, as manly as you are, and he is his guy, guy as you get, which is what I love about you. And you're equally as sensitive and sweet and nurturing and transparent. And, you know, I work with a lot of guys, and they're afraid to show this part of it. What would you say to those guys that, you know, feel like they have to keep up some facade? I mean, I know you had the gift of desperation, nothing else to lose, but there are some out there that are feeling like they want the change, but they're really, really afraid of losing maybe a partner. And, I mean, by the grace of God, you didn't. Many of us do. Right? So for those that Are faced with that, what would you say to them?

So what? Like literally like, like, so like, and a mutual friend of ours, Taylor always says to me, she's like, and, and so, and so what? And then what? And so what does that, how does that make a difference? And like, and there's always sounded like.

Her too when you did.

Like.

Why does that make a difference?

What does it matter? And like, and I'm like, and I, and I have to ask myself that, like, I'll have these. And it all breaks down to your limited beliefs, the story that you tell yourself. So how do you change that story? There's a lot of. You could YouTube how to change your subconscious beliefs and all those things and get into those, the sound waves and then the sound bats and the meditations and all these kinds of crazy things to penetrate that. But at the end of the day it's doing things to get uncomfortable. So like what do you want your life to look like? That's why I have to ask myself. And like, I can only teach things to people that I've done myself. So like that's the difference between a mentor, I'm a really, really good mentor and I'm not qualified enough yet to coach. So like for me personally, it's limited belief. Hear me out. So like, so now I'm looking at like, what about if, like what does that look like? Like how does it. So what am I afraid of? Okay, so I'm afraid if I tell my wife that I.

Okay, what can I use for an example? That I'm afraid to tell her that I love her after we argue, right? Like, because I feel that as a man I have to hold a grudge. And I say to myself, so first off, I'm holding anger and fear. Like you only get more of what you already are. Like, that's proven science. Like that's literally how the laws of the universe work. So like I have to get in vibrational thought, so does the person I want to show up with. So like I have these avatars in my head. Who do I want to become when my kids remember me? I die tomorrow. How do, how do that? How should they remember me? And I say, so what? Like what is it so hard? What I focus back on is like when I struggle with faith, like I'll be like, okay, so there's one thing to have hope, and that's what people that I can be able to be enthusiastic to will get or I'm able to get woo woo with. Like, I give them hope, but it's getting them from hope to faith. Because when it's faith that they know, and then they start looking at it differently. Like, I'm walking through my back hallway at my house. It's twice the budget. It's four. It's like 10 times the House that I ever thought I'd ever fathom even owning. And I'm like, okay. So I can either think, oh, my God, I'm running out of money, or I can think, oh, my God, think about all the cool opportunities for more money to come. And then I can have faith that I'm continuing to do the right thing. So with my wife, I say, what? So if I want to show up as more loving, more caring, more kind, who does that person that I want to become? What does he do? What does he wear? How does he talk? How does he sit when he talks? On a zoom call? What does his office behind him look like? How do I act and be more like that? And then I try to do. And I try to be aware and say, okay, Jeremiah, this is how you're gonna act. You're just gonna say it. Just like when you were on a playground for your first crush and you didn't know if she was gonna kiss you back, but you did it anyways. And you did it anyways because, okay, so if you don't do it, you'll never know Wayne Gretzky. You'll miss of the shots that you never take. So, like, what does it look like? And then, so what? So she doesn't kiss you back. Okay, so I tell her I love her. After she does, she goes, well, you're an asshole. Okay, tell me something else I don't know, but I still love you. And then. And then she'll just look at me. She'll like, you're so fucking ridiculous. And I said, I know. Help me be aware when I act out in that way. And then guess what? Like, we're making out 10 minutes later, and we're like, oh, my God, this is why I love you. Because you're able to put up with me and tolerate me because as a seven, I'm super hard to deal with. So, like, just ask yourself, is it worth it? A. Do you want to get uncomfortable? And then, like, if you don't, then why don't you? And it's not just because I don't want to. I don't like the way I look. I don't. No, no, no, no. Dig deeper and say, ask. Continue to ask yourself why? And like, are you then worth it? And like, Everybody, when they get down to the gut of it, usually says, no, especially early on. No, I don't feel like I'm worth it. So how do we have to act to make yourself feel worth it? What does that look like and how does that feel? And then you're gonna start firing and wiring these different brains and neurons together to where you're gonna start building these channels and rivers in your brain where now, now the next time you show up, it's going to be easier because you broke it down. Ninth step. Going to do your first ninth step. Super hard. Extremely rewarding. So that's just the long winded version.

That long winded version was probably some of the greatest gold you could have dropped on humankind.

And, you know, I don't blow smoke up anybody's ass.

Thank you.

That was so fucking beautiful.

And so important because I think, you know, you and I both have a relapse story. And, yeah, we wanted it to stop. We wanted the pain to stop. We wanted things to be different, but we weren't at the point where we were really ready to do the work involved. And you just show so beautifully in everything that you do every single day, every word you speak, every hug you give that the work is worth it. It's not easy, but it's worth it. And, God, what a blessing you are to anybody that is graced by your presence and your love. And wow. Just wow.

Thank you.

I just love you. So, you know, you spoke about, and I love that you say this, because you and I even had a conversation about Mallory and you and working together, and I could tell, just kind of knowing, doing what I do best, I could tell, like, there was this point between. Not that you would split up or anything, but, like, it's either we're going to grow together here or we're going to grow apart.

100%. Yep.

And that's just. That's human, right?

And I was like, you got to go easy with her. Like, make it her idea. It's got to be her idea. It's got to be her idea because you're, like, rolling in the troops. Like, that's who you are. You're all bringing them in. And I could tell that wasn't her personality. And if it's not her idea, she's going to almost rebel and go the opposite way. But at some point, she came around. And what I've seen you guys do since I've known you together is beautiful. And I'm grateful that you guys were able to figure that out. I know she's going to be part of our mastermind too, which I'm excited about. But navigating young kids in a marriage and businesses and all the things. How do you guys keep it good? Other than what you just said about what does she do that helps empower you? Because in this world we live in, and this is honestly being completely transparent, this is where I've always faulted in my relationships. I was the queen of emasculating men when it got scary for me. Not because I felt better than but because it was scary. So what does she do to help you be all of your seven without hindering any of that even when it drives her crazy.

So she is nothing short of a saint. Like she doesn't even have the capacity to think badly about people. I swear to fucking God. Like I'm not kidding you. Like I cannot get her to talk shit about. Somebody should. It's like, well yeah, that's just kind of how they are. Like her family. Like we don't even talk to her family. Like we don't. Cuz I blow up right? Like freaked out a whole nother story for another episode. Like a freak the fuck out and people. So like I can't get her to speak badly about people. She, she says she feels it. She has an amazing capacity to deal with me. Like I'm extra. Like she posts something every day about me on her stories about being extra. So she's always been, she, she's put her entire life and her existence on the back burner for me. Like literally like I'm not kidding you. Like she did network marketing with a couple other companies and she got up to, you know, almost six figures a couple, couple times where I'd be like, well that's stupid. Why aren't you doing that? We don't even use your money for anything. So I'm the dirtbag that would always. And you would emasculate. I would just make her feel not worthy and make her feel that her life till about five years ago. So early on it was right around when we had kids, she had postpartum depression. And then somebody gave me some advice and they're like dude, you have to pour into your wife. Like because the better your wife's going to be, the better she's going to show up for your kids. Better she's going to show up for your family. And then I just started and it was a maturity process because again I never expected to be be successful. I never expected to run a multimillion dollar business. I never Expected to have employees, team members. None of that were you part.

Was part of you, like, subconsciously worried that if she got too good that she would leave, that she would see that she wouldn't. Like, she was, like, not in the right game. Like, she should be playing at a bigger level with. With somebody else.

I did a really good job. I. Beating her down.

Yeah.

To beat her to the point where it was like, then just fucking go. But we never got that way because she's always been so kind and just like, I can literally, like, like, this morning I showed up to the house. I have, like, another, say, $20,000 worth of windows that I didn't replace on this house, and they started leaking. So I called her and I'm just like, I texted her. I'm like, it's bad. It's going on. She's like, what can I do do for you? How can I make it easier for you? Do you need me to come to the house? What do you need? And she's always been that rock for me. So without her, there's no way. She was born in. Her dad was an entrepreneur, also a narcissist. And then, like, she'll be like, man, you're just like, my fucking dad. And I'm like, sue, am I a narcissist? And I started to ask myself those questions, and I'm like, I'm so intense that I allow myself. So this, this, this. I was. I used to be way worse, but now that I'm like, now, I just. I can't be so busy, so I don't have to be aware. So, like, building that. The reason we're still together is because she's amazing and she was able to allow me to build the business up. Now, mind you, she gets a lot of benefits from it, like, money wise, financially. The things that we get to do, the power, the. All this kind of stuff. Like, she gets that and she's always been. But she's the reason for my success, literally.

Well, I think it's a beautiful evolution of growth that you guys have always been on the same page of growing, and it's. It's beautiful to watch, and I'm so excited to see where the journey takes both of you and your boys and all the things. And you guys have a podcast that is. By the time this is released, it will be out and ready for the world to listen. So I want you to go listen to Destined to Be with Jeremiah and Mallory Campbell. It's amazing. I've already been interviewed for it, which was Fun. What else do you want the world to know? Like, one of the questions I ask when I'm talking to people.

About the Enneagram specifically is like, if you were to leave the world tomorrow, what would you want them to say about you at the funeral?

That I cared about that genuinely. I put people's wants and needs before mine. And that.

The money that I made, that I shared more than I took.

The people that I led, I led them to see their better version of themselves. And that's like my ultimate goal in life with my kids, my wife, my team members, everybody. Just like anybody's ever had a better opportunity elsewhere. I'm like, let me go and let me tell your boss how good you were to me. Like, I don't ever want to hold people back. And if financially or not, like, what does the best version of you look like? Let me help you. I got the ride to my new house with one of my team members and I never had a one on one conversation with him more than a few minutes. And he told me he wanted a house. And I'm like, let me, dude, how's your credit? Like, and I started talking to him about actionable stuff. And like, before he got out of the car, my mortgage guy was reached out to him and he's already started that process of like getting his first mortgage. And I'm like, and if I'm stuck in me, like, that's, that's what I want to be remembered for, is just being able to. To make the connections to the right people. But I get nothing out of it. But I get, I get so much joy. And like, because he's now going to buy a house. Because I'm like, where do you see yourself next year? Like, what's your goals? Like, let's talk. Like, let's have some growth conversations. Let's do this together, bro. Like, what is this? Like, like, and just being able to do that this morning. And then like 20 minutes after I lost my shit and got emotional about the windows, I'm like, oh my God. Every piece of glass in my house is going to be brand new. So two, three, five years down the road, I don't have to put the glass in. It's done. So now it serves me and it's not happening to me. And then I can use it. And then I'm like, wow, all those other people that, like, how many people are going to have work because I get to replace these windows? Like, now I have to get hungry and go make more money. And then to put the windows in, but the window people, the delivery peoples, the installers, all of those people are going to get more business and more like. What a blessing.

And I want you to know that what you wish and hope that people will say I feel every time I'm with you. So thank you so much for this great chat. I know that you have certainly helped many that are listening and whatever the calling is for the rest of your life. I know that it's going to be a hell of a good ride because you make everything exciting.

And just so beautiful. So thanks for allowing me to have a front row seat.

Thank you.

I love you so much.

Me too.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram at traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@tracyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work.

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