18: Enneagram 101: "I am taking off, I've got wings" How Your 'Wing' Adds Enhancements to Your Enneagram Type

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof Podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'.

Malley. I'm a mom to Millennials, an author.

Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur.

And master performance and business coach.

I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life.

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Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose profits and build your legacy.

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Hello and welcome to an episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And it is Ennea Talk Tuesday. And you know I I'm loving you guys are blowing up my DMs with all your Enneagram questions. And I promise I'm going to be doing a Q and A episode just for you to really more in depth answer those questions. And for those of you that are navigating your own Enneagram journey, even if you are rock solid and know your type, it is a definite continuous discovery process for sure. I know that in the last eight years as I have explored what it means to be an eight the challenger, I'm always, always, always learning new things. And so even if you are familiar with your Enneagram type or you, you know, you've taken the test probably 3, 4, 5, 100 times and you keep getting different answers and you're just more confused than ever, then I'm going to strongly recommend you reach out. I would love to do an Enneagram typing session with you. If you think you've got a type but you're not positive and you want to hear how, how to navigate that and how to integrate that, you can head on over to my website@traceeomalley.com Schedule a booking typing session with me. I would love to take this journey with you. There is a lot I can help you unpack in only one hour. Obviously if you want to explore that deeper, we can do that too. But like I said, I have learned so much not only about myself, but so many people I care about. You know, because the Enneagram isn't just like this. It isn't the answer, it's what we do with it that becomes the answer. And because of my intent in using it for the greatest good within My family, obviously, I've used it to leverage in business and leadership skills. It's a continuous journey and one that I really encourage you to take. So today's enneagram101 episode is all about the wings. You know, the damn thing's got wings. Like, wasn't just learning your type one thing. Now we got to figure out what the wings are and we what the role that the wings play for you is something that's pretty powerful. For those of you that might be into horoscope, I like to say, you know, there's all these different components to your horoscope. I'm an Aries, but my rising sign is a Capricorn. So the wings can kind of serve the same way. Different, but the same. So no one is one pure personality type because if you put about seven of us eights together, totally different, and one of the things that navigates that and influences that are the wings. So everyone is a unique mixture of his or her basic type and usually one of the two types adjacent to it on the circumference on the Enneagram. So like, if you're a nine, the only wings you might have are an eight or a one. If you're a one, you'll have a nine or a two. So. So I've seen so many of you on some of my posts say like, yeah, I'm a seven with a wing three. Nope, absolutely impossible.

That's why I say, like, a lot of these tests out there are not effective and it gives you wrong information and who knows what you're doing with it, right? So like I said, no one is one pure personality type. And.

One of the two types adjacent to your basic type is called your wing. So your basic type dominates your overall personality and it never changes, never. While the wing complements it and adds important, sometimes contradictory elements to your total personality. So for me, I'll give you an example. I'm an 8. We're pretty rigid sometimes when you know it's kind of we're one of those that are just like straight shooters. But I've got a seven wing. So that can be completely contradictory to my typical type. In fact, most people that see me out and in business or speaking to large crowds, things like that, might think I'm actually a seven because I can be very outgoing and extroverted selectively. But my natural tendency is to be more introverted. So like I said, these wings can complement and sometimes be contradictory elements to your basic personality type. The wing is like your second side of your personality. And it must be taken into consideration to better understand yourself someone else. So like my daughter, she's a seven. Hardcore seven. No doubt about it.

She lives in her six wing a lot, which is that troubleshooter. It's where she kind of goes more in her head. She's thinking 10 steps ahead.

She does that a lot. However, when it comes to work and business, she wins eight, right. That's where she can become more decisive, sure of herself, straight shooting things like that. And that's the thing. You can take on both wings or you can be completely dominant in one, or there are very few that maybe don't even show any signs of their wing. And that's totally possible. When I think back to my dad, my dad was certainly an 8 and very.

Very, very rarely would he play in his wings. But when I think about him, like when, you know, when he would be partaking in the beverages of alcoholic nature, his seven wings certainly came out. And he also showed a lot of signs of his hardcore eight. Right. And then when it came to business, my dad would have that Yoda mentality of his nine wing. Right. So it's really cool. There's a disagreement among the various traditions, the Enneagram, about whether individuals have one or two wings. You know, everybody has the option of two wings in the restricted sense that both of the types adjacent to your basic type are operative in your personality. Since each person possesses the potential of all nine types. However, this is not what it is usually meant by having two wings. Right. So there are some that that believe in the two wing theory, believe that both wings operate more or less equally in everyone's personality. I think that is just a case by case thing because as a child I pretty much lived in my nine wing and never saw my seven wings. So I think as we evolve and get healthier, I think we're able to take on not only our wings, both of our wings, you know, depending on the circumstances, but we can also embody the entire enneagram. That is what we call growth, you guys. It's really, really fun.

I'll joke all the time. I've got some friends that are threes, you know, they're the achiever and they are just like, head down, go after it. And one of my closest friends, she has a very strong four wing and you know, when she steps out in certain outfits and big bold red lipstick, I'm like, oh, there's your four wing coming out to play. It's so funny. I have another friend who's a two wing or I'M sorry, a the helper. And she is like the most compassionate, sweet, sweet, sweet thing. But when she gets put in a competitive environment, holy crap, does her three wing come out? I'll tell you a funny story, and I know she's probably listening, so she's gonna be laughing in her car right now. She was out for a family friendly afternoon and they were playing at a baseball field and she's like, I said, she's totally a two. So sweet. And.

Somebody made a comment like, oh, you can't hit that ball. And all of a sudden, like, the lion roared out of her and this competitive three wing came out and she hit this line drive right at the pitcher who was talking crap and nailed him. So it's fun, you know, that's what makes all of us so unique. You know.

The Enneagram isn't supposed to be used to put people in a box, right? It's to help you get out of a box that maybe you or the world had put yourself in. And the wings absolutely help, you know, sprinkle some, some sparkle into your personality. I love today that I get to really express myself comfortably in my 7 Wing. You know, as a child, I never felt safe to, you know, being free spirited and fun meant I could get blindsided. And I didn't want that. It would leave me vulnerable and I didn't want that. So I know that was gifted the most beautiful daughter in the world by God, who happens to be one of the most hardcore Sevens I've ever met, to teach me what that looks like and to embrace it with such beauty and grace. And, you know, it's one of those things where I know there's a lot of you that take the test or you're not sure what you are or you want to be a certain number. And I want you to know there's beauty in all the numbers.

The wings really help express that. So I was thinking maybe I could share a few things, some quick things about each type and what their wings might look like so you can maybe nail down what that might look like for you. Again, I highly recommend really having somebody guide you through this process so you can have an objective view and then take that information and, you know, help yourself grow into what you were designed to do. So the wings for the ones, I'll just go through these really, really quickly. So the wings for the ones, you'll even either have a nine wing or two wing, if you're a one wing nine, they have a greater ability to relax and unwind. They aren't as rigid and perfectionistic as a one normally can be. They can be less reactive when they disagree with somebody and they might solicit opinions of others rather than their own stuff.

One wing, two, they have access.

When they have access to their one wing, they balance their focus on people with a dedication to tasks. So there's more discerning about situations and people rather than this just get things done. They pay more attention to detail and have an increased ability to be firm and to say no with far less worry about how others will react to them.

So wings for twos are a one wing. So when twos have access to their one wing, they balance their focus on people 100%. And they can have boundaries, which is really, really cool. And that's what my son is. He keeps fighting me and he thinks he's a one wing, but he's. Or he keeps fighting me and thinks he's a type one, but he's really, really not. He just happens to live in that one wing a lot. And then a two with a three wing, they are more comfortable being visible and holding a high profile leadership position. Like my friend I was just telling you about that was hitting the baseball. She definitely is strong in leadership. So when you're a three, you can have either a two wing or a four wing. And a three with a two wing are far more sensitive to the feelings of others and more generous with their time and resources. They focus on helping others in professional and personal lives. For sure. A three with a four wing, which is my other friend I told you about, are for, are far more in contact with their own feelings. They are willing to engage like in emotional conversations and they have a deeper personal presence and they engage in some form of artistic expression. Remember when I was telling you about how she dresses and her lipstick? Yeah. They have a refined level of artistic appreciation. So the fours will have either a three or a five wing. A four with a three wing, they are more action oriented, have a higher, more consistent energy level. They have maybe more poise and confidence, but they're also comfortable with being highly visible rather than shying away. The four with the five wings are like super introverted. They're more objective and analytical.

Which is a counterpoint to their more subjective emotional way of relating with others. They also have an increased ability to perceive situations from a more considered and less reactive perspective.

So for fives, fives with a four wing, again, super introverted at times. They're more emotionally sensitive and expressive and also have an aesthetic perspective. They can engage in the Arts themselves, for example, like writing poetry, novels, screenplays or photographers and artists. A five with a six wing emphasizes and engage more readily with teams.

They tend to place a greater value on loyalty and may have enhanced.

Some intuitive insights. Although like other fives can be insightful, their instincts come more from putting facts together and engaging, like in analysis, like they're the spreadsheet king and queens. When fives have a six wing, the insights come more quickly. So for my sixes out there, the loyalists, you have either a five wing or a seven wing, or both. When sixes have a five wing there, they are more internally than externally focused. You've heard me talk about like the phobic six wings versus the counterphobic six. Usually the phobic sixes will have the five wing. They also have an increased passion for knowledge and use the pursuit of knowledge not only to gather information, but also, you know, to gather information to be prepared because that's what a six does. But they also do it for the pure enjoyment of learning. The sixes with a seven wing, they say that the sixes sometimes have a glass half empty and the set, when you have a seven wing, you see it as half full. So when sixes have that seven wing, they can see the whole glass and therefore tend to be more cheerful, less worried, more optimistic and higher energy. Love those. And those are more the counterphobic sixes. Usually for the sevens, you will have either a six wing or an eight wing, or both. Like I said with my daughter. So sevens with a six wing add the capacity to understand situations. They because the sevens have an increased perceptiveness and an ability to anticipate potential problems, their actions become more deliberate and less based on reactions. When they have a six wing, a seven with an eight wing, these guys tend to be more direct, assertive and powerful. So like I said, my daughter in business uses this wing a lot. They have a more grounded presence and increased desire to put ideas into action. So for my fellow eights out there, you will have either a 7 or a 9 wing, or both or neither. Like I said, eights with a seven wing add a light heartedness to the usually more serious 8 outlook. This is probably where my sense of humor can come in. Are more high spirited and independent and tend to be far more adventurous. I definitely have that side to me, willing to try new things in their personal and professional lives for the sake of experience, experimentation and enjoyment. For eights with a nine wing, this is where kind of like my all encompassing Yoda like qualities come from. I like to say so Eights with a nine wing are interpersonally warmer, more calm and less reactive and they solicit and listen to others opinions because they are more conceptually oriented. I wouldn't say I dive much into other people's opinions, but just saying. So for my nines you have the options of wings being an eight or a one. And nines with an eight wing have a more take charge orientation. They exhibit a solidarity and forcefulness while still maintaining a desire to hear others opinions. And you know, so for those of you that are nines out there who think that you really don't have much of opinion, know that you have it in you. I see lots of nines. My personal coach is a nine with an eight wing with a very strong eight wing so he can assert his own points of view readily and make fast and clear decisions even in the face of strong opposition.

So nines with a one wing, they are more attentive, for example, they pay more attention to details and are more punctual and precise. Although nines often diffuse their attention, one wing can kind of increase their overall focus, acuity, clarity and discernment. So that's just a rundown of all the types with their wings and what that might look like. And you know, these can change, the wings can change and they can dabble heavily in other areas rather than, you know, like I said, you could maybe be strong in a wing in your business, you can be strong in your wing in your home or for some, you just land right hardcore in your personal type. So isn't that fun? I love when I can play in my seven wing. In fact, a fun story. I was out of town last week for a business intensive mastermind and you know, I was on my Instagram stories showing some of it and there was a lot of really cool shit that I shared and my son has said it probably more than three or four times since I've been back. You know mom, my favorite part of your Instagram stories is when you were sliding on the outside of that tall building in LA and you came stumbling out of, you know, somebody was recording at the bottom of the slide and I came like flying down the slide and I tucked and rolled and I was just so playful because early in my kids lives I didn't know how to do that very well. I wasn't grown enough. You know, there's all these different levels of health within your personality type and I believe the more that you grow and the more you're willing to take a deeper look at yourself, the more you can Play in all the beautiful, unique and special parts to your personality and embody the wings and all the parts of you. So continue your journey. I definitely encourage everyone. You know, it's great to know your type, but it's what you do with it. It's what you do with it that can make all the difference in your home, in your business, in every human being that you touch. Because you've heard me say, information doesn't necessarily equal transformation. It's what you do with it. So that being said, if you are wanting to learn more about the Enneagram specifically to you and how you can navigate that in your business, or your health, or your family, or your relationship and love interests, you can head over to my website@traceeomalley.com or you can just hit me up on Instagram. Traceyomalley I am loving all of your comments and beautiful messages about what you're loving about the Enneagram. It helps me to bring you exactly what you want to learn because there's so much misinformation out there and you know, the memes are fun and you can learn a lot from the memes. But I believe that when you have this information and you have a guide that can really help you, with the sole intent to help you step into your greatness and the best version of you, you're going to accelerate any kind of transformation your life, in your business, in your home. So until next time, you guys keep standing on the front line of your life. That is how and where you become bulletproof. See you soon.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tag me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceeomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front, front line of your life and do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.