40: Keeping commitments to yourself, and the power of following through

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos, an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up. Let's go.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I have been wanting to do this episode for a while because I kind of can't hide what's been happening. As much as I try to and as much as.

You know, most of my life, vanity is something that I've paid a lot of attention to. Some of my very first early memories around body image came around the age of four. I've always been aware, you know, the things that were said to me early on. I mean, from the age of four, I remember hearing words like, you're going to always have to watch it. You better be careful. And this episode is for those of you, maybe on a health journey, have battled with body image or.

Health stuff or food addiction or emotional eating. I know especially because we're in quarantine and have been for now six weeks as the recording of this episode happens, that some of these habits that we've had have come to the surface. I remember when I stopped drinking, gosh, seven and a half years ago, that the food stuff was the justifiable addiction that I had. And I remember going into rehab very aware that if I didn't talk about this, I would keep this kind of thing in my back pocket and it'd be this battle my entire life. And I was quite honestly, tired of fighting. And I know there's many of you that have played the yo yo game, not just dieting or just, it's more taking care of ourself, right? You know, yes, I'm vain. I like to look good.

I'm human, so are you. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, I feel good when I'm taking care of myself. And the problem with me and I, in talking with thousands and thousands of people over, you know, several, several Years, I realized that even though a lot of us attack a health journey for the outside, it really is an inside job.

And that's why most diets and most health journeys don't work. Because we are doing it for what shows up on the outside. And trust me, if I got something I got to get ready for, I can make shit happen pretty quickly and get where I need to be. But then we all know where that goes, right? How many times have you done that? Like get a vacation or a wedding or a photo shoot or a competition or a date, whatever that is, and you do the things that you know how to do to get your outside.

To a place where you can feel okay on the inside, right? Going and doing whatever you're gonna do. And what always happens, like, the crazy train follows and we overindulge on the other end. And this has been a battle my entire life from that little girl at the age of 4 hearing she was always gonna have to watch it. I have to be careful. You know, you got o' Malley jeans, and you know what that means. You got o' Malley thighs. Like, at four years old, I heard that. And I know, like, in my logical brain, I know that that was to help me. You know, a lot of things are said to us early on in our life to supposedly help us, but our little brains process it a very different way. And so from the age of four on, the battle of what the outside reflected, because if the outside looked good, then I was good enough, right? And it was the thing I could control the most when all hell was breaking loose in my life. So what the hell is this episode about, right? Because I.

You know, when I went to rehab eight years ago, I, like I said, I put all the cards on the table. I told my therapist, you know, even though I was there for the obvious alcohol problem, that really wasn't the real problem, to be honest with you. I could stop that. It was the.

The eating disordered stuff. You know, I would bounce between, God, exercise, addiction, restriction, binging, purging.

Laxative, like, you name it, I've done it. In regards to disordered kind of eating, and I'm not making light of it. It's a serious, serious thing. You know, as a child, when I couldn't obviously drink or use other things, the only thing I had accessible to me was food to numb, cope, comfort, whatever it was. So it's been a journey for the last seven and a half years, being hyper aware and in recovery for disordered kind of relationships with food. And when I'm not using things like alcohol or codependency or the food, the exercise, addiction, control, like all those things like I wasn't using. It makes you kind of deal with your feelings. And I've done that for a long, long time. And you know, I have felt really good in my own skin for about seven and a half years. But there's a little break in there. And if you guys have listened to previous episodes, you've known about my health journey. About three years ago, around this time, I was planning my own funeral. My health had hit an all time low. All my body systems had shut down and you know, the first sign of there was a problem was like a 15, 20 pound weight gain in early 2015. And you know, even though I can be very vain and vanity is a big thing for me, I was actually concerned because I knew like the things I was, I was in my healthy recovery around food and things, like I wasn't doing things that would warrant that. And I had had a good two year run of really beautiful health and doing things for my body and my, my own self care that were, you know, really good for me. You know, it wasn't for the outside, the outside followed. But all my motives were based on what was best for my health. And so when that happened, 15, 20 pounds came on literally overnight. I was concerned, you know, hired a trainer maybe I was just, you know, getting older, hitting that time of life. I didn't know I went to doctors, which I'm not one of those like hypochondriacs or anything. I'm really, really not. In fact, I usually swing the other way where I kind of put the head in the sand. But this was really concerning for me. So for about two and a half years, the weight, no matter what I did, no matter how healthy I ate, no matter how much I exercised and exercise became hard for me, which was depressing because I've always kind of been really athletic and love working out. But that became harder and harder and harder for me and you know, no doctors could figure it out. As my health deteriorated, obviously the outside of my body, I mean, I put on body fat which didn't like that never feels good on your body when you're carrying that stuff on your body. And it wasn't feeling good for my heart, it wasn't feeling good for my brain. And when I finally figured out what was going on with my body and like I said, if you've listened to previous episodes, you can hear the whole thing. I had implants that were in my Body that was not good for my immune system. It was like this avalanche of things that happened due to an immune response. And so once I removed my implants, things didn't just automatically get better. There were a few things that got better. But for the next two years, I would have to kind of really heal my gut because I became allergic to pretty much every food that I put in my body. So it was this crapshoot for a long time. I went vegan for an entire year to try and heal my gut. You know, I could not be consistent with workouts physically like I wanted to, but physically my body just couldn't keep up. It was kind of like.

You know, once I took the thing out of the body that was causing the immune response, it takes time for the body to kind of recalibrate. And so for two years, it was.

A very humbling experience. I was patient for the first time in my life with my body. It's something because like I said at the beginning, when you know what to do to get your body to look the way you want it to look, and all of a sudden none of your tricks are working anymore. Plus, I was coming from a very healthy spot. This wasn't about tricking my body into looking a certain way, because when I got rolled into surgery In July of 2017, I vowed never to do anything to this beautiful gift I was given of a body, would cause it harm or not treat it with the respect. And as it was the gift that I deserve, you know, it was a gift. So I had promised not to go outside and play in the playground that I used to and do things to get my body to go a certain way. Everything moving forward from that point was going to be to self honor and to honor the vessel that I was given. Now that's easy to say, a lot harder to do when you've been conditioned for 40 something years to make your body look a certain way. So, you know, the humble pie and the patience lesson, although I didn't enjoy it at the time, I knew it was to serve a greater good. And it was about six months ago. So I am going to take you back to October of 2019. And I preface this by saying that In October of 2019, I was coming off the roughest six months of my entire life.

I had two deaths of two people that were very, very close to me in my family. I had some things happen in my life that were awful. I had some family stuff go on that was awful, legit. The hardest, hardest, most challenging, emotional six months of My life. And I was, even though it was hard, I remember very clearly being so happy and proud for my body because in the past my body would be freaking out under stress like that. And because I had become so self aware and so in tune with everything my body has been telling me over the last few years that even in the middle of complete crisis, for six months straight, I could feel what my body was trying to tell me and act accordingly in the most healthy way. It didn't mean the situations got better, it didn't mean that I wasn't in stress. But I could navigate what my body was telling me. And it was beautiful. It was actually quite beautiful. So when I got to October and I kind of felt like I could breathe for the first time in six months, I remember very clearly saying, okay, I think now is the time. Now is the time to really work on the vessel, the body. You know, I've been working on my emotional health hardcore for eight months. Doesn't mean that was going to stop. I have been working on my spiritual wellness for every day for eight years. Doesn't mean that was going to stop. My business is obviously going to continue to work on that. But this was the first time that I felt like, okay, it is time to really honor this beautiful gift I was given. And I felt like my body was in a place to be able to do what I was going to push it to do. I had seen a friend online and I'm not one of those that buys into any hype kind of bullshit as far as like before and after pictures, transformation, at least just outwardly, you know, I take everything with a grain of salt. I'm super skeptical, mainly because I've played my own fucking games with the before and afters for myself. And I know a lot of times that you can manipulate the process to get the outcome you want. But this friend of mine that I had been watching for a few months, all of a sudden I saw something different in her. Yes, the before and after thing I saw, but there was way more to the story because I knew her and knew how much integrity she is. She's a psychotherapist. Like she, she's the real freaking deal. And I was like, what did she do? And it was way more than what the body looked like. There was just this self honoring process that I could and a pride that I could feel in what she was doing. And so of course I looked at her hashtags just out of curiosity. I wasn't going to reach out personally and ask. I'm One of those that kind of is the fly on the wall. And I, I saw a hashtag that I didn't recognize and it said 75 hard. And I was like, what the hell is that? And so of course I clicked on the hashtag and all of a sudden tons of stuff came up. And the person that created the 75 hard kind of program, it's not even a program, it's a process, it's a commitment. There's a famous, well known podcaster named Andy Frisella, and he's hardcore. And, you know, I thought I was intense, like, he's next level. But I saw what the 75 hard program process.

Thing was about and it took me to the podcast that he had recorded back in March of 20. So about six months before, I was exploring what this was and I was listening to what it was and I was like, oh, okay, that's not that hard. That's not that hard. It's easy. You know, it was five things that you had to do every day for 75 days. And if you missed even one thing on the list, you had to start over from day one. And I'm telling you, like, the things on the list were not that hard to do. Not at all. I've done way harder shit, y'. All. I mean, I drank lemon juice for like 23 days straight. So if I could do that, like five little things on a list that really aren't that hard, you know, I was like, yeah, I got this. Like, that was my first initial reaction. And usually when I have that feeling, I jump right in. It's like, boom, I'm going for it. But there was like this resistance that was happening with within me because let's just be real, for the first time, I was doing it for the right reason. I wanted to really do things that were good for me, 100% good for me. And when I would jump into things in the past, they were to manipulate the outside, right? If I really was going to take care of myself. And I don't throw around the words self care very lightly, and I don't like the word self care because it's very subjective, right? Like, if I'm going off early on in my life, what care meant as a little girl, it meant neglect and abandonment, quite honestly. So if I'm going to self care, it means I'm going to self neglect and self abandon, which I've done most of my life. So for me, self care doesn't work because I can go there, right? And so I'm going To tell you, like if you throw around self care and you wonder why you can't stick to it, there's probably more to it, right, that you probably want to unpack. So that's why I've always, you know, especially in the recent years, used the term self honor. And I knew if I was going to take on this 75 hard thing, it needed to be coming from a place of self honoring. And the five things on the list, like I said, aren't that hard. And I'll tell you what they are in a second. But I was having a emotional breakdown over this damn thing. I really, really was. Part of me wanted to tell people because then I could use it as a teaching moment and be more accountable and disassociate. Quite honestly, when I'm teaching, sometimes, like I can use that as a form of disassociation which takes my feelings out of it, my emotions out of it, which, you know, feeling is really, really important as I found over the years, you know, I've spent a lifetime so stuffing feelings, controlling feelings, numbing feelings, avoiding feelings, and it doesn't work. And so my new way of living and self honoring was to feel everything. I was going to feel everything. And so if, and I was telling myself, okay, it was like this negotiation between the old me and the new me, it's like. And the me that's always been there, you know, there's not an old me and a new me, but you know, you know what I mean? I was going to do this for me and nobody else. I was going to tell a very small amount of people just to be accountable and I was not going to talk about it at all publicly. And that was in October, it was six months ago. And I remember sobbing. And you know, I'm not one to like have emotional breakdowns or anything, but I was completely sobbing because I wasn't sure. Not that I couldn't follow the things, but I wasn't sure. It was this harsh realization that keeping commitments to myself was something I've never done. I can keep commitments to people I care about, I can keep commitments to business things, I can keep commitments to everything. But my entire life I've never kept a commitment to myself really for.

Any length of time. If I was going to bail on anything, I'd bail on me. And because I wasn't using this as a teachable moment, because I wasn't even using this in my coaching, this was just for me, me and me only. And for my self honoring process, it was very hyper. I was Very hyper aware that, wow, this is a bigger inside job than I even expected. So I remember telling it, just a very small few of my friends, I told my kids, obviously.

I got out my markers and I basically took myself to this creative, childlike moment to have this conversation with myself about, okay, we are going to keep this commitment to ourselves because I deserve it. Because to be my very best for the people I care about, I have to feel good. And that doesn't mean I fit my ass into my skinny jeans. That means I wake up feeling strong and healthy and vibrant. That's how I show up as my best. Not because I look good in a bathing suit. I'm not going to lie. Don't mind that. But you know what I mean, right? It's not sustainable if we're doing it for outside reasons. And so I took my markers and I, like, I wrote out 75 days. So that's like 11 weeks.

Just under 11 weeks. And I put a start date of October 15th on it, which I intentionally did it this way because I knew, like, if I did this through the holidays, that was going to be hard. Really hard. It was going to test.

Emotionally because the holidays can be hard. You know, as a single mom, it's been hard for the last, you know, eight years.

It was going to test social things with sugar, and sugar is my go to for sure. It was going to test my emotions around, you know, loneliness and.

All those things. And so my start date was going to be October 15th, which 75 days later puts me right before New Year's Eve. I was like, well, go big or go home. And, you know, when I told the kids about it, I said, I am really nervous that I am not going to keep the commitment to myself. And they were amazing supporters. And I told them, this has zero to do with the scale. This is zero to do with clothes. This is zero to do with how I look on the outside. This is 100% to keep that honorable commitment to myself. Because really, like, yeah, I can keep commitments to other people, but am I really, if I'm not doing that for myself? You've heard me say before, you can't give what you don't have. Truly. And so I felt out of integrity, quite honestly, in every area of my life, because if I'm not keeping commitments to myself, am I really keeping commitments to the things that I say I am at the end of the day? No. Like, how you do anything is how you do everything. And so on the morning of October 15th, I decided to start my 75 hard challenge so here are the five things on this list. Like I said, none of I've done lots harder things, done everything that you can to control what your body looks like. So number one is to follow a diet or follow a nutritional program. And it can be any nutritional program of your choice. But it must have structure and must have a plan designed with an improvement in mind. So thankfully I have my handy dandy supplement line of Isagenix that I've been using for seven years. Obviously built a beautiful business with it. Love the products, use them every day. I've changed how I've used them over the years because I think that's important too. But I had at least that in my toolbox. I was like, oh, this will be easy. I knew the first few days would be really hard to get through the sugar detox because of course I was going to load up before I was going to give it up for 75 days, which is so typical diet mentality.

But that was going to be easy. I could do my protein shakes for breakfast. I know how to cook healthy with the health stuff that I had dealt with. I know and I'm a good cook. So I wasn't worried about the diet, to be honest with you. It was just a matter of getting through the first week of sugar detox. To be honest with you. Number two, you must. This is the one that scared me the most, to be honest with you. You must complete two 45 minute workouts a day. One of those, and this is the big one. One of those must be outside.

So 45 minutes, rain or shine, weather conditions are irrelevant. You are to do a 45 minute workout outside. Now that can mean a walk, it can mean going golfing, the driving range, whatever. Just 45 minutes, you must be moving your body outside and then you must do another 45 minute workout of your choice. Well, even though that one scared me the most, I have nothing, no bullshit excuses for that one. I have a freaking gym in my home, like with every piece of equipment I could ever need to do any kind of workout. I live in the sunny, beautiful state of Arizona and starting this in October is beautiful because the weather is fantastic. Why I was afraid of that, I don't know, but I just was probably because, you know, my body over the few years before, I couldn't consistently really do anything without it kind of backfiring on me, you know. But that was part of the plan. Number three on the list for 75 hard was absolutely no alcohol, which thankfully I had seven years under my Belt. So I was pretty sure I was going to break that rule. But no cheat meals. And that means like wavering from, you know, your nutritional plan, whatever plan that was. And that was probably going to be a hard one for me. Most of the day I do fine. I've talked about this before, that when the sun goes down, something kind of switches in me. You know, as a child there were things that happened when the sun went down that definitely would have me go into.

Shutdown mode. And so that time of day is usually when my cheating, my binging would happen. And so I had to create structure around really honoring myself to make sure that that didn't happen and put tools in place that when I was feeling that craving of a cheat, of a numbing incident come, that I had some things in place that would really allow me to not just not do it, but feel my way through it.

Number four. Oh, there's six things on the list. I'm sorry. Number four is taking a progress picture every day. So I would have to go and I have a room in my house that's so beautiful in Zen and I've got like a stand up mirror in there. And every freaking day, I swear to God, I should show you all my pictures because I basically look like homeless. Like I just walked in like I've been sleeping on the street, you know, because I'm in my sweatpants and you know, messy hair. But every single day I'd walk to that mirror and like, boom, boom, without fail, progress picture every day. That one is pretty humbling, I'll tell you. The first few pictures is like, oh boy, do I really want to do this. And you know, through the course of 75 days, you could see how even my spirit was lifted as I took the picture. Like there was a sense of pride.

The other thing on the list is drinking a gallon of water every day. And I really thought that I had that one covered. You know, that's all I drink. It's really like I go anywhere, that's all I drink. I don't really enjoy anything else. And at this point I don't drink soda. Every once in a while I'll drink like a bubbly sparkling, like Lacroix, but other than that, water, straight up water. But when you're measuring it, you realize that maybe that's not the case. So every single day a gallon of water would go down. And you know, that first day I remember getting to like 6pm and being like, holy shit, I gotta, I gotta chug a third a gallon of and of course, those first few nights, I was up half the night going to the bathroom, so I adjusted very quickly. But that gallon of water is so important for how you feel. Like it really, really is. It flushes your system. It keeps your skin and hair, nails, all that, your sleep patterns. It's really, really important. And the last thing on the list was reading 10 pages of a book a day. And audiobooks did not count. That meant I had to not multitask. I had to be intentional with my time and read 10 pages of a book. Zero, compromise, zero. And if you missed even one little thing, even had one little cheat, you had to start over. And I was going to be damned if I was going to do that, because I did not want to have to start over in the middle of the holidays. I was like, no, fuck this. I am doing this. And because it was such an emotional experience, even making the decision, I knew that once I started and once I was all in, I was all in. So it was a Tuesday morning, October 15, which, ironically, is a very pivotal day in my life at this point. But it was the day that I took this on. And for 75 days straight, I honored my entire process. And the thing that I didn't think I would enjoy ended up being the thing I love the most, and that's the getting outside. Every day. I, you know, would lace up my shoes and hook up my little French bulldog in his little collar, and we would just take a walk. It started as a walk, and then I picked up running, and then I started going to the golf course more. And then, you know, I started doing all these different activities outside, and it turned out to be my most favorite recharging part of the day, and I loved it. The other thing I didn't think I would enjoy, even though I like reading, like, being told what to do. And as an enneagram8, I don't like being told what to do. I like to do things my way and my time without feeling like I'm being controlled. So even though this was such a mental toughness game, I was resistant. I was like, I don't want to be told what to do, but, you know, I want to keep this commitment to myself. And so that reading 10 pages a day also became one of the things I loved the most. I ended up reading eight books in 75 days. I blew past 10 pages a day. And I read some incredible books, some memoirs, some personal development books, but all really, really, really good. And, you know, what happened when I was reading more and doing less? You know, like, mindless TV and Netflix. @ night, I slept a hell of a lot better. It was amazing. And the books that I read were so freaking good. Like I said the nutritional part, that. That really wasn't a problem because once I remove sugar out of my body, I can do anything. Sugar to me, is crack. And it, like, once I put it in, it's like, I'm a savage. So I knew once I got past the first week, that would be easy. But, you know, Andy Frisella talks about this. This isn't a diet plan. This isn't a body transformation challenge. And it wasn't that. Like, I never, ever went into this for the first time in my life, starting something. This was not about what the outside would do. This was all about how I would feel from the inside out. And I knew doing it this way would allow me to shine and show up and be better in every other area of my life for my kids, for my businesses, for my friendships. I also at that time, was deciding, like, okay, I'm going to open myself up and actually leave the house once in a while with my eyes open to the fact that maybe God was going to drop somebody in my life. There was going to be an opportunity for love, possibly. And I, let's just be real. Me carrying extra weight because I am so damn vain was not going to allow that. There's no way that door would ever be open if I was feeling like shit about myself. So even though this wasn't about the outside, this was me making the commitment to myself, like, I'm going to honor this body and be able to receive love, too. Right? Because it was like, this manipulative way for me to keep my heart protected, too. Like, I mean, you've heard people that have.

Experienced abuse and trauma that sometimes, you know, we keep weight on as a protective barrier. Although it wasn't intentional, there was a definite component of that, I think, to me looking back. But I was really open to, you know, maybe having that in my life. I wasn't actively seeking it, but I just made the decision, okay, God, I'm going to be open to it. And just the whole ironic part of all of this is, like, that day.

I was faced with the challenge in that department, I was like, are you freaking kidding me? The very freaking day that I make this decision. Be careful what you wish for is all I'm going to say about that for now. So for the next 75 days, I didn't waiver. And by about day 10, I knew that this was going to Be something that I would do for the rest of my life. The getting outside every day was something else. And, you know, I rolled up to New Year's Eve feeling the best I had ever felt in my life. Had I lost weight? Absolutely. I think. I don't even really know. I probably dropped 6 or 7% body fat just by how I look. I can tell. I think the scale was about 15 pounds lighter. And I'm a short little girl, so that's a lot for me.

But none of this was for that. And I didn't care about that so much. I mean, I felt good in my clothes, I slept great, my skin looked good, the hair was doing what it was. But you know what the best part was? I felt really good about myself because I was keeping a commitment to myself every day. You know, the self honoring process. And you know, there is an enneagram component to this, right? Um, you know, when. When an enneagram 8 feels controlled, that's when we can get a little rebellious. And, you know, looking back at my life, especially around body image and. And all of. In dieting and weight and vanity, like, mm, for sure. Like, I can get really rebellious when I feel like something is controlling me. And so this was the first time that I was like, you know what? This isn't about that. I didn't feel controlled one moment of those 75 days, not one moment. I felt empowered. And I don't ever remember a time in my life that that had happened. I'd use the gym in my house every day. I got outside every day. I was filling my brain with positivity every day. I was fueling it with what it needed every day, you know, and I had to look myself in the mirror every day, which is what I do metaphorically anyway. I take a personal inventory every day. But. But the actual looking in the mirror every day and facing myself every day was super powerful too. And I know for each enneagram type, you know, when it comes to self honoring, self care, you know, each type has certain challenges. Like, you know, ones, if they don't do it perfect, they just won't do it. Twos, they'll sacrifice themselves.

To help other people. Right. Threes, you know, they do it for the end result only. That's it. There's no emotions usually tied to that. And they do it for external reasons. Fours, they can get all up in their head and like, well, this is just easier for everybody else. Fives, you know, they want to study, they can have analysis paralysis. That will keep them from doing Self honoring things. Sixes, they are thinking about like, well, what if I've got this come up? You know, they've got events coming up. I can't do it now because I've got this and that. Like, they're thinking so far ahead that they can't even stay in a moment. Sevens, they could just get bored. They want to move on to the next thing. They don't want to commit for 75 days necessarily to one thing, right. Eights I've already talked about. We're rebellious as fuck. Nines, you know what.

They want to keep the peace. And if this kind of rigidity interrupts keeping the peace, they'll just. Right. So that's just like a rundown of where each type might kind of get hung up in this self honoring process. So New Year's Eve came and, you know, I hung out with my friends and like, not once did I talk about this really other than I just. People would say things to me. You know, my social circle is very, very small. I don't get out much. But you know, people would start to say like, wow, what's going on with you? You look really healthy. It wasn't, you look great. It wasn't, you look skinny. It was like, well, I did hear that a little bit, but it was more like, you look so healthy and vibrant. And that is what I was going for. I just wanted to feel like I was alive every single day. And it showed. I knew it. I carried myself differently. My eyes were open very wide for a lot of other things that were going on around me that maybe I kind of kept my head down about.

I remember it was about January 5th or 6th, and obviously my little 75, five day challenge was over and I was starting to miss the routine of it. I really was. I didn't feel like I was going to fall back into old habits and patterns because I wasn't. I didn't feel like I would lose my progress if I wasn't like on a structure like that. It was a genuine missing of the very things that made me feel really good. I missed the commitment every day to myself. This little checklist of things that took care of Tracy every day. Because when I take care of Tracy, you know what? I can be the best I am for people that I love and I can attract in beautiful things. And so in January, shortly thereafter, I decided to pick it up again. This time I got a little rebellious and didn't keep to it. And I was like, fuck, I don't want to do this if I'M not going to do this. And so there were a few hiccups along the way. You know, nothing that there was no, like beating myself up over or anything like that. There was no shame involved. Is like, okay, this is the little rebellious enneagram ate me. That, okay, let's have a little talking to. I'm not being controlled. This is not a diet. This is not anything but honoring myself. So it took me about a month of playing the stupid games with myself and the rebellion. And quite honestly, I had begun really exploring.

Dating. And that was making me nervous too. So because it was making me nervous, the very easy thing would be to sabotage myself. So I would shut it down, right? And thankfully I caught myself. Like it only took a few weeks of me just dicking around with it. I was like, no, no, no, we're going to honor the process. High involvement, low attachment. You guys have heard me talk about this all the time. I have a high involvement to my process. And this 75 hard process is something that really, really works for me. And I encourage a lot of you guys to try it. Not for an after picture.

Not for a bikini shot or skinny jeans or, you know, smaller belt loops and things like that. Even though all of those things have totally happened for me, like it's bananas. But for the self honoring process that it is, and having a high involvement to that, but a low attachment to what that looks like has been such a beautiful gift that I never saw coming. The mental toughness. I didn't realize how fucking hard it was to keep a commitment to myself. And I'm the queen of commitment. Are you kidding me? I am a queen of keeping my word to anything I say I'm gonna do except myself. And that was really hard to look in the mirror and face, right? And when enough is enough is when we are willing to make some changes. And so in February picked it back up. And right now I believe I am on day 72 of my second official 75 hard program. Process, whatever. And you know, I still do the picture every day. I still drink the water.

You know, I've allowed sugar in my life because that is, it's no longer an addictive thing for me. I have very healthy relationship with it at this point. I'm more intuitively eating than I've ever have ever. Like, I've never been able to intuitively eat. And now I'm in that and it feels fucking great. And still every day I'm outside at least 45 minutes, I've upped it. Now I'm running three to four miles a day, it's going to be challenging here in Arizona because it's going to be hundreds next week. So I'm going to have to like, switch things up a little bit. But this doesn't end at day 75 for me. This is the greatest self honoring thing I've ever done. And the reason I can't hide it anymore is because I probably dropped three or four sizes and I have muscles again, which has been such a gift. It was one thing that I missed more than anything was muscles. And for being sick for as long as I was in my body not able to do what it used to do, to have muscle tone again feels fantastic. And I'm wearing shorts, which like, my God, I know it sounds like a really big deal. Not that big a deal, but it is for a girl like me that, you know, is athletic and, you know, does things like that. But the journey doesn't stop with 75 days for me. You know, these are all things that I believe. You know, the two workouts a day. Does everybody need to do that? No. But honestly, I think every human being should get outside 45 minutes a day without question, you know, and with being in quarantine, like I'm seeing people outside that I have not seen outside. In fact, they're stopping me on the street. They're like, we've been watching you out our window for the last few months. Are you new here? I'm like, no. But I think getting outside 45 minutes a day should be everyone's goal. Even if it's just a walk. If you have a dog, walk the dog. If you have kids, just take your kids outside and walk. Even just. And looking at like the trees and listening to the birds chirp and like, things like that that I took for granted and never noticed. Like, those were all things that I was like, wow, there is so much more. Like when we take our heads out of the damn phones and really just go into our own honoring process. So many. There's the ripple effect of that. It affects everything. You know, my businesses are thriving in different ways. Not the ways that I expected at all, but very, very different ways. The creativity that is coming out of me that had been kind of halted, unmatched. Like I said, the body is able to do things. I'm more athletic now than I was a decade ago, which is amazing.

I'm able to wear anything that's in my closet, which is awesome.

Food doesn't stress me out. I mean, if I'm being really, really honest, There was not a day that went by that food and me, it wasn't.

A battle. And since October, I can honestly say that I don't have anxiety around anything that goes in my mouth, which is freedom like nobody's business. So I wanted to share this with you because as I've stepped out of the house more often and, and I can't really hide kind of what's happening. And you know, as the summer hits here in Arizona, you know, we wear less and less clothes that cover things up. And it's not something that I can hide, and it's. It's something that I've shared with very few people, not because I was hiding anything, but because I wanted to make sure that I maintained my own honoring process and didn't disassociate it, disassociate my emotions and turn it into a teaching moment. But, you know, I didn't build a network marketing business without talking about things that I love. And I love this 75 hard thing. Call it whatever you want, but I think it's really a mental toughness program that will change every single part of your life. It'll change how you show up for your family. It will change how you show up in the world and what you can manifest in and call into your life. Trust me, that'll be a story for another day. Let me tell you.

Change how you show up in your work life, your businesses, entrepreneurship. This will change how you show up in your spiritual life and your emotional life. Because when you're feeling good, aside from what you know, the scale, the mirror, whatever it looks like, when you are showing up for yourself every day.

Beautiful miracles happen. So if you want for more information on the 75hard thing, look up Andy Frisella. Follow the hashtag 75hard. Like I said, he's hardcore. You think I'm intense? Multiply that by 10,000. And that's what he is. And I'm not knocking it. It works for him. This 75 hard process has helped so many people. But I highly encourage you to take on the journey. I would love to hear if you do.

Tag me in anything that you do around this, if you choose to do it based on my thing, I'm going to continue on after this week. This is just a way of life for me. It's just a way of Life. And every 75 days, I get out the markers and do my numbers on the piece of paper and check them off every day. And I go into my cute little room and take a little picture and do the thing.

But I would love to hear if you decide to take this on. I think this is a gift that you have no idea.

That it will bring to your life.

When I was going through the enneagram types and the challenges you have with keeping commitments to yourself and to self honoring process, really be aware of where you go when you want to sabotage or procrastinate or not keep a commitment to yourself because this has been a new level self awareness project on myself for sure. But I would love to hear if you take this on. If this is an episode that really helps you change your life, let me know. Also, if you need.

A nutritional program and you are not part of Isagenix and would like help with that, I can help you through that process as well. I would love to help you. I'm always helping people people with that. It's a great program and really fills the gaps when you know things are hard and especially in quarantine. I'm so thankful for it. So if that's something you need in your life, I can coach you around that as well, which is amazing. But this is something I absolutely love and it's been life changing. So I would love to hear if it's life changing for you. If this episode is landing for you and you're like oh hell yeah, this is.

This is what I need. Or if you're even feeling really emotional about it. Like I was like seriously, I was so emotional about this process, then that is a sign that you're ready. Because anything that stirs that kind of emotion means it's a step you've got to take. And I knew that even though I was like, oh, I don't want to do it. Do it anyway. We're going to do it hard, right? So anyway, share it. I would love to hear your journey. And until next time, here to Becoming Bulletproof, y'. All. Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on your you, you can find me on Instagram at tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceeomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become bulletproof, Sam.