41. How Knowing Your Enneagram Type Can Help Improve Your Golf Game with Tracy O'Malley

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Next up on the number one tea.

Well, hello and welcome back to your virtual tea time. My name is Tori. You know, we walked in, we started so quick, I, I fumbled a bit but Hi, I'm Tori. I'm your host and I have Tracy o' Malley here with us again. Enneagram expert coach. All the things just badass woman here.

I love this podcast. I love you. I love what you're doing. I cannot wait to talk about like the mind that goes on with golf and all the things.

Oh no, we're going to get into it, but I think so. Last time you were on the episode was about or last time you were on the podcast was about a year ago on hog. And you know, I don't know where was your golf journey then? I don't even think it had started yet.

Well, like I played back in the day when, before I got sober, before I had done a lot of the work on myself and literally there's probably three sets of clubs in the valley located at the bottom of the water. Oh, yes, yes. So that's the kind of golfer I was. And so I took about a 10 year break. Like I would, you know, hack it at the driving range with my son or things like that. But I, I've always wanted to be good. And this is a game where like it fucks with you hardcore.

Yeah.

So it's been the last probably five years that I'm like, I really want to get better at golf, especially since like my body, I'm 50, like snowboarding is a little harder on the body now. So it's like, let's get back to the thing that I can do till I'm done here on earth, right? So it's golf. So recently, because I want to come to your frigging retreats, I started taking golf lessons. And I'm fucking loving it. I'm obsessed.

Okay, wait, I want you to start from the beginning though. What's the lessons like? How'd you find the lessons? How'd you, like, what was it like going? Is it just you?

Is it a group? Well, I wanted you, but like, you're kind of a big deal. So I was like, all right. So a good friend of mine, she introduced me to Donna Taylor. Who, she's amazing. She does like so amazing, like really great golf clinics, especially for the newbie. She's a great teacher and she's a badass like you, very non judgmental and like an athlete, right? And the minute I. And I met her, because she does yoga party lives too. She does golf party live yoga party lives. She's just cool. So a friend of mine said, hey, Donna can help you. I'm like, cool. So she does like these group clinics, which I like and I don't like because if I'm the worst there, then that's not gonna go well. If I'm the best there, then I don't get better, right? So I like to find the sweet spot in the middle where I'm not the best in the room, but I'm not the worst either.

Yeah, yeah.

And so like things like grip. Oh, there, that's something.

That's uncomfortable.

Very uncomfortable. And the right club. So I show up. You're gonna die. I show up the first day with my bag from 10 years ago.

Nice.

Been sit the garage so long that the minute I threw it over my shoulder in the parking lot, the bag strap broke because it's dried out and been sitting. And I had tailor made clubs, like, but I walked up and I thought they were good. And she's like, oh, it's been a while. Has it? Because they're like, Smithsonian. I showed them to my boyfriend. He goes, you walked up with those? I'm like, yeah. I'm like, well, at least I had clubs. Nobody else did because they're that new. So anyway, needless to say, two days after my first day, I went and bought new Callaways.

Okay, good. Okay.

We're upgraded. I had all the, the outfits. You had the outfit and the shoes.

Good to go.

And the visors and the hat you gave me. But the clubs needed an upgrade, so that's where we're at. I've got my swing down a little bit because I swing still like a, you know, college softball player a little bit.

I don't mind that.

So I'm learning, like, where the hips need to go or like, that's where I'm at. But I'm loving it. And I'm gonna be at your next retreat.

No, I love this.

Yeah. So that's great.

What's the next step, though? Like, so you're going to lessons. You know, what's the next thing that we're gonna. We're gonna put out there for you to play. Okay.

Like, I'm gonna actually sign up because I. I'm kind of a lone wolf. You know, I love golf because it's not. It's an individual thing. And I've always played team sports, but specifically getting around groups of women, which is why I'm so passionate about the work and, and the things that you're doing. Like you're bringing women together in a male dominated sport. And I need more women in my life. Quite honestly, I've never done well with them historically, you know, and I've done.

Fighting that a little bit.

No, no.

Okay.

Not anymore. Like, because I. I've had the power of that the last, you know, five, 10 years since I got sober. Like, like, I need more of that in my life. And especially women that like to like sports and, you know, don't want to just shop and drink wine. Honestly, I love being outside here in Arizona. So I am gonna do more of these little community kind of like hack games to start and just have fun. The more I have fun, the better I am. Right. So that's where it's beginning.

Okay, well, I'm just gonna put this out there.

Okay.

Okay. I think that you are gonna come to Desert Classic next year.

Totally.

It's in March.

Totally March.

Yeah. It's. We haven't released the dates yet, but it's most likely towards the first part of March. Okay. It's here. So you don't even have to, like, commit to plane rides and all that. And you need a partner, so you're gonna have to, like.

Do I have to find them?

Yep. You need to go find those women out there and get a partner. So you're gonna need to get a handicap. You have to do a couple things to prep, but you're gonna do it totally.

Like, the reason I took golf lessons was because of you, because I wanted to be part of what you're doing. Honestly, it's beautiful.

Oh, my God, I love it.

But there's mind fuckery that goes with this whole golf thing.

I know. Let's get into it. Yeah, so let's kind of give a baseline of the Enneagram, because we're gonna tie into, you know, how that this could help you personally and with your golf game and the mind fuckery of golf in itself.

Like, seriously, anything that we want to get good at, we kind of skirt around the very thing we need. Right? We buy the outfits, we buy the great clubs. We do the things that on the outside, really look like you know what you're doing. But it's the mindset, the soul set work that and the heart set work that really makes a difference, even in golf. And the more that I get over my myself, the better I get at everything. As a mom, as a friend, as a partner, as a golfer. And so the Enneagram came into my life actually in recovery by my therapist, who was like, I want you to do this thing. And I told her to fuck off. I don't need a label. Don't try to put me in a box. Like, yeah, you're real surprised by that, right?

Anyway, she's an enneagram8. Like both you and I are. And said, my dear, quite honestly, your best thinking has gotten you here. And this might actually help you out of the box that not only you've put yourself in, but the world has put you in. I was like, well, shit, she's got a point. She wasn't afraid of me, which. That's usually why I would do that. And it revealed so much about who I am. Not to label me, not to say this is how I am and you have no hope. But it had this framework attached to it. Like you at your. In your kind of kryptonite and not so great parts. Yeah, this is what's going to show up. But those very things that are your Kryptonite can actually be your superpowers if you know how to leverage them. I was like, oh, you mean I don't have to change who I am. I can still be spicy and intense and all the things. And it was like, yeah, you can, but you have to reframe the come from. Right? That intensity, that fire, that spiciness, when it's coming from fear, insecurity, unworthiness, shame, guilt or ego is a wrecking ball in my life and my golf game. But when I'm coming and that intensity is coming from love, compassion, empathy, grace, service and fun, everything gets better. That intensity is what allows me to be a high level performance coach for CEOs and companies like Amazon and Google and John Deere and be an incredible mother to, you know, a 25 and a 26 year old today. But it's all about the come from. And so it was interesting. Like even in like deciding to sign up for lessons, I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to be compassionate. I know I'm spicy out there and I know I'm gonna want to throw shit, but let's kind of keep it in that love, compassion, empathy, grace, service, fun. So the enneagram, how I like to explain it, like you can gts and Google that shit and find all the weird ass history. I don't care about that. I'm somebody who' okay, why do I need to know this and what's in it for me? Yeah, Right. So for you listening right now, what's in it for you is a deeper understanding of yourself. So that when shit starts to go sideways in your life, whether it's on the course or in your home or in your job or in your health, you kind of know what's happening. It's used like a compass and a framework. And so it kind of takes that emotional kind of.

Power out of it a little bit, you know, because when emotions get involved, things get heated, things get crazy. Right. We still are emotional human beings, but this allows me to regulate it a little bit better. And for most of us, we operate in a perfect world in our intuition and in our body, right? And even when I'm in my body and on the golf course, it goes so much better. But for so many of us, we've had experiences like we triple bogeyed in a major tournament that we could kill, right?

Yeah, yeah.

And we bypass out of our intuition and our body and our nervous system and we go into maybe some of the not so pretty parts of our personality that pretty parts of our personality actually can support the intuition and nervous system. And where that personality resides is kind of the enneagram and that framework. Now we are born a certain way. I believe, I do believe that we have this temperament and disposition and soul blueprint. And then we are dropped into family situations, experiences, school systems, birth order, traumas that kind of alter the expression of that. And so the Enneagram can prove to be this framework that allows you to get back back to who you were always designed to be before the world kind of came and kicked you in the teeth. Yeah, it's amazing. It's amazing. And you can imagine when I'm learning about this in rehab, not necessarily the highest part in my life, right. At 40 years old with, you know, two teenagers. And on paper I looked good, but I knew I was a train wreck. Like, I wasn't at the highest point in my life. And this really allowed me to see my way out of hell a little bit and with a lot of more. A lot more compassion than I maybe would have had before. And it allowed me to stay on track, honestly, like, recovery is hard. Like staying sober is hard, you know, because I didn't have a drinking problem. I had a coping problem. And this really allows me to stay rooted in who I was always designed to be. Without the numbing, without the coping, without the throwing shit, without, you know, the sabotage, the. The playing small, the. The thinking I don't deserve this or I'm not worth it, or I'm not good enough. It really keeps me regulated in who I was always designed to be. And when we're operating in that, we start to attract the right people in our life. I think that's probably why you came into my life, quite honestly. It's like we're just radiate differently. And we also, like, lose some of the things and people that we need to along the way when we do that. So the Enneagram really allows you to do all of that. And it's been interesting as I re go into golf again with different eyes, different perspective, different heart. This is really helping me, not just getting a case of the fuck it's. And saying I'm not good enough for this or this is too vulnerable for me to be a beginner again. Because in most of the circles I run in, I'm not a beginner at anything.

Exactly right. So how is that. How are those feelings been as you're going into golf, beginner?

It's frustrating. Very different. I mean, it's still frustrating, but I think having the right people like you. Like, I'm not afraid to ask you a question because I know you'll never judge me, even though you're a major baller. Donna, she's a great teacher. Like, not once do I feel like she thinks I'm weak. Which, as an enneagram 8, biggest fear, being vulnerable, being weak. No better sport to make you feel both of those things. Right, Exactly. Also, the boyfriend, he's a really good golfer, and. And he thinks I'm amazing, and I don't want to look like a thug on a golf course next to him. And he's just, like, very encouraging. Where in the past I would have just not done it to prevent that ever from possibly happening. And so, like, the real reframe in understanding, like, my enneagram type is understanding that what I used to believe was strong isn't actually what is strong. So, like, recalibrating the measuring stick of what I'm motivated by. And you and I are motivated by being strong. Yeah, we really are. And so learning what that actually, like, what that means in my sweet spot on the golf course has changed it for me. And I'm actually like, the more I suck, the more excited I get, which I never would have thought that. Yeah.

Okay, so let's get to the basics. So when you take an enneagram test of some sort to figure out what number you are, you come up with a number. One through nine.

Yep. So what, you know, when we default into personality, there's these three centers of intelligence. Yes. There are nine basic types, but within each center of intelligence, there are three types. Right. And so wherever we default to first kind of is where we go to in our thinking. So you and I fall into the instinctual center or the body center. And so the 8, 9, and 1 kind of go there. So when we default out of intuition in our nervous system, the eights, nines, and ones default to what is happening right now. Like, that's where we go first in our emotional intelligence and our critical thinking. That's why we're great in crisis. It's why we don't get rattled very easily. We actually thrive when shit goes sideways because, like, oh, we're instinctual beings. Right. Those three types are motivated by being independent in control and autonomous. We don't like to ask for help. All three. Now, how that looks for an eight, like you and me, like, we're more expressive and aggressive with that. Nines are more the peacemaker. Like, they do that by controlling the environment and harmony and things like that. And the ones do it by, you know, rules and being good and probably hate golf. Ones probably really struggle in golf because there's no gray area for Them, but that's how they maintain controls, by being right and good in everything they do. But all three of those types go into what is happening right now.

First.

Now, the feeling center of intelligence has the twos, the threes, and the fours, all motivated by significance of some sort. And how that looks for all three is very different. Right. Like, twos are about what they do for other people. Threes love and hate golf because they're all about what they do or what they achieve, how they appear in the world and what they do. Right. So they strive to be the best at everything. The fours, which is who I'm dating, they go internal with their significance. They're like, who am I? What is this all about? They don't necessarily look at the world, but they're on this constant journey. Now, the feeling center of intelligence, they go to what has happened. So shame kind of like resides there. You know, they don't always look to what has happened in positive ways. Always like. So the reframe for them is to kind of like, let's have some evidence where this actually worked out, where I didn't know what happened, or I sucked really bad and I met new friends because I sucked. Right. But for those three types, they don't always kind of go to the positive.

The two, three, four. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, yeah. So then in the thinking center of intelligence, if your core type falls into that category, they're motivated by a need for certainty.

Again, five, six, seven.

Yes. And how that looks for all three, very, very different. But some sort of certainty, whether it's information and resources or troubleshooting or just all options are available to them, that's where they get their certainty. But when things are happening good or not so good, they go to what could happen. So it's really important that we use all three centers of intelligence. But where we default to first is where our core enneagram type is. And unfortunately, all those online assessments are inaccurate 65 to 70% of the time. So if you're going to kind of go on this journey, you might end up with a wrong result first. I do have blueprints that I do and an assessment that I do that is like 95% accurate. So if you're going to use a tool like this, which honestly is the greatest tool growth tool I've used, having the right information is kind of important to use the framework to its full capacity to accelerate the transformation in your life and on the course, quite honestly. So that's like the guts of it. Now, once we kind of tap into our core enneagram type, that doesn't change. We do have these other centers that we can move through, and we dominate in the other centers in a type. And I was looking at yours this morning before our call. Like, you're an eight. You're motivated like an eight. You fear like an eight, but when you kind of go into the feeling center, you operate like a three. When you go into what has happened, you operate like a three. You don't like to feel the hard things. It's like, let's just set another goal. Yeah, yeah, I know. And when you're in the thinking center, like the forward, what could happen? What could happen? You're a seven. Like, you operate like a seven. A visionary. It's why you created this whole beautiful community. It's like, what's the best that could happen? Right. So Even though the 8 is afraid of being vulnerable and appearing weak, you know, those other two centers of intelligence really do support you from taking for taking action.

Yeah.

But they also can, you know, have you believing. On the golf course, if I don't win, I suck. So let's just triple bogey this hole, right?

Yeah, let's put it in golf.

Or if I do well, I'm going to be on a hole different radar where more will be expected of me, and that's really actually more vulnerable. I'd rather kind of fly under the radar just enough where I'm a baller in this industry and in this space, but I'm not the very best where more will be expected of me. And therefore, you know, the higher I go, the. The further I can fall.

Right? Yeah, I know.

Okay, let's. So let's put in, let's. Let's do some chat about how each type, like, maybe.

How can they become a better golfer? How are they best to compete? How are they best to learn? You know, like, how can we put that in golf?

Well, let's start in the feeling center because, you know, this is just an emotional game. Like it. It nicks every bit of our insecurities, this game.

It does.

And what you like, what you do with that can make it a magical. Excuse me, magical experience. Or can feel like, oh, my God, I'm so. I suck at life. Right. So the twos, they are about being loved and appreciated. So they're really good. You probably have a lot of these in your community where, like, they'll bring in new people, they'll help other people that they see are brand new and are struggling, but they won't ask for help. Right. And so they have an area in their golf game that they need improvement, but they think that maybe their needs aren't as important. So they'll just kind of know, like, it's okay, I'll just help you. I'll help you. The real flex for an Enneagram too is knowing that their needs and their desires are just as important. And actually, the more that they fill their cup first, the more they'll actually be able to help in these kind of communities.

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That'S 1weekoutchallenge.com now the Enneagram 3 obviously see a goal, hit a goal, be the best. We're inspired by them. Like you and I probably originally were mistyped as threes. I know I was. I think you were too. Like appearance wise and behavior wise, we absolutely look very three like because we're head down, just make happen. But a lot of times threes get so fixated on the end zone and the, the goal line that they miss the soul line and they get to be the best. But then they look around and they've alienated people that they.

Yeah, they're all by themselves.

They're all by themselves and so they're chasing that. I'm the best kind of feeling with, you know, everybody cheering them on. But because they, they left people in their dust, it's lonely. So they kind of keep chasing it. The real flex for a three is slowing down, which they absolutely hate. But that's where they find joy in the journey and they bring more people along, which means you'll get more significance, which is at the driving force what, what is most important to them. Now the fours. No fours look alike. You know, they're just all in their head a lot. So the real flex for them is having some more structure. Like, they kind of show up on a whim any given day without a plan. And although that's what makes them amazing and creative and unique, you know, with a game like this, without structure, it's a clusterfuck.

Yeah.

So what I usually tell fours is just like, three little things to structure. Like, maybe take some practice swings, maybe make sure you have the right food in your body so that you can go the distance and have some fun. Like. Like have fun.

Even a simple plan like that.

That's it. A4 could change the whole game.

Yeah.

Like, I don't like to give fours too met too much structure because they're motivated by being significant, by being unique and authentic. Too much structure makes them feel like, oh, I'm not going to be my most authentic self. Yeah, right. All right. So in the. The thinking center, the 5, 6, and 7, certainty. In the golf world, like, there's no such thing. I don't care how much you practice, I don't care how much information you have. I don. How great the course is. There's no guarantee you're going to have certainty. Right?

Yeah.

And so for five, they're the information junkies. Like, they're called the investigator or the quiet specialist. And so they think, like, they want to make sure they're certain. So they gather information, they gather resources, they hoard their energy and all those things, thinking the more resources they have, the better certainty or the more certainty they'll have. So then they step out on the golf course and it's like, like, like you can, like, it's like, we all want a JLO booty, right? We can study her workouts all day long, but if we don't, like, put the reps in and actually do the damn squats, we just have the plan for the JLO booty.

Or even, how about, like, they're scouting out a course or doing a practice round. They have a plan for how they're going to execute, you know, their tournament round. And then on the first hole, they shank it. They. Yeah, they get a double, and it's like, wait, this is. Or their ball doesn't go where they thought it was going to go or where they planned on it going. And then it's like, oh, shit. Yeah, it's not how I plan.

And then like, they're like, I need more information. That's like their go to where the real flex for the five is like, you know what? I'm going to learn more and gather more intel by actually doing the damn thing. Right. For Sixes, they're the master troubleshooters. They are the biggest worriers on the Enneagram. So like they struggle a lot. Like, but what about this? But what about this? But what about this? But what about this? And then they miss the fun in it. And they can be a little annoying with all their question asking. It's like you just gotta do the damn thing.

Yeah.

And you know, I have sixes in my life where you have to be a little respectful of their need for intel and information. Right. But I usually will tell a six but we're gonna actually move forward and do the thing anyway. There's no guarantee in golf.

So this could be someone that is hesitant to sign up for something. You know, they keep asking questions, trying.

To, keep trying to find a loophole.

Yeah. Trying to get information that would prevent them from making that step.

That's the biggest thing. I mean they're the best. Once they do take action, there's nobody better than a six to have in your corner because they have troubleshot the hell out of things and they have a worst case scenario plan for whatever goes wrong. But the problem is gathering and working themselves up with so many questions kind of paralyzes a six. So when a six can lean into faith and trust the process, even if shit goes sideways, that's when a 6 actually gets to be a better troubleshooter and a better teammate because they have gotten the experience of things going sideways. But they hate that. They hate that. They absolutely hate it and they will resist it at all costs. But when a six can lean into the faith of like, I'm actually going to learn more about the journey to and troubleshoot even more by doing it. Even if some, the worst case scenario happens. They're the best to have on a team.

Yeah.

Yeah. For sevens, they just want all options available to them at all times. Like that's their certainty. They don't want to be boxed in.

Making sure they fill a team with people that they want. But it can, it can be just a party all the time or a lot of times they get bored. So they'll be like, all right, like they'll be great for nine holes. And then they're like, eh, let's just like do crazy ass shit. Let's like do a Happy Gilmore move. Or you know, they, they, they can be a little distracting from times, but they sure are fun. So what? You know where the five gathers intel and goes down the rabbit hole a Seven that actually pauses and kind of gets into solitude to gather some of that intel instead of just going out and just winging it all the time. When a seven takes that enthusiasm and visionary spirit of how amazing this is to be with a little intel, that's when a 7 is at their best. Right. Like, we can have a good time. And, you know, I think, what's the guy who has a mullet? Like, what's his name?

Like a golfer. Yeah, that has the mullet. Like Cameron Smith.

Yes. Like, he looks like he'd probably be a seven. Like, let's just have a great ass time. Right?

Is that now? Are you just because he has a mullet?

Well, I've watched, I've watched him. He just has a slight, like, cool energy that it looks like he gives zero out there.

Yeah, I could, I. I can.

You know what I'm saying? It's just like it looks like he's winging it, but clearly he doesn't because he's like, pro.

Exactly.

And like next level pro. So, like, that's what I would envision a seven golfer to look like is like, we're cool. We don't have any rules to how we dress, how we show up. But he's put the intel in. He's got gathered the intel to bring the two, the visionary, fun spirit enthusiasts together with knowledge and information. So it's really cool. So then in the instinctual or. Yeah, in the instinctual center, the body center is where you and I are. The eights, the nines, and the ones. And you know, you know, rewind back to 10 years ago when I kind of threw the clubs into the lakes. Three of them, three sets of clubs into the lakes. We don't want to be weak. We don't want to be vulnerable. So we're least likely to join groups like this naturally. Naturally. But the real flex for an 8 is like getting into that vulnerability, getting into relation, getting into empathy and community. When an 8 does that, coming from that vulnerable space, we are some of the best leaders. Hello. Like, your business is the epitome of that.

Well, and when you say that too, I think of like, yes, doing those things is hard. But now at this point, I know I have to do them, like, at least 80% of the time. I just have to make myself fucking do it.

Yeah, but you've put the reps in. So as painful as it can be for us at times, and it is when I walked up to that first lesson and I broke my strap and I was like, oh, my God. I'm that girl. I'm that girl I almost turned around in the parking lot. I'm being really honest with you because I'm like this. I'm the girl with the shitty bag, the shitty clubs, and I'm gonna have a shitty ass swing, and everybody's gonna be better than me, and they're gonna. Going to see the cracks in my armor, and hell no. And the more that I've. Especially the last 11 years, and knowing the enneagram and knowing who I am, like, I can lean into the vulnerable parts and the compassionate parts for myself and other people. Right. Because eights can be like a Tasmanian devil. And they're very aggressive, and they're very domineering and direct, and a lot of times they'll use that as a front to protect the vulnerability. And the more I see you do it, the more I do it. That's how actually where we are the best leaders on the course in our homes, out in the world. So it's really hard for an 8 to do without putting the reps in.

Yeah.

Right. For the nines, they. On the golf course, probably, they're just like, I don't care. If you need a foursome, great. If you want somebody else, go ahead. You know, they. They really don't want to create any conflict, so a lot of times they'll dumb it down. They won't use their voice. They won't say, hey, I want to play this round, or I want to go this course, or they won't make the plans.

Or how about if you ask them if they like the pin in or out, and they say, I don't care.

Whatever you want.

Oh, my God.

Yep.

I hate that.

Yeah.

And so for when someone does that on the golf course, and I ask them, do you like the pin in or out? And they go, oh, I don't care. Whatever you want. Like, it's okay.

Well, eights just have a preference. That's it. Eights want you to be direct. They want you to have an opinion, because then we know you're strong enough. You're not afraid to have an opinion with us. Because at the end of the day, like, especially as an 8, if we can't rely on you to even make a decision as simple as that. What if shit's hitting the fan and we need you to step up, you won't be able to. So it's why we need you to have an opinion.

It's windy, and I need you to take that pin out.

Bingo. Come on, nines. Like, seriously. And Nines have like, they're at the top of the Enneagram. If you looked at the diagram of the Enneagram, they're at the top for a reason. Because they have the perspective and ability to see the world in a whole different way than the rest of us. But because they don't love conflict and how they have independence is by having harmony and what's in the greatest good for us all. A lot of times they'll bypass their own opinions and their own thoughts and beliefs in order for the rest of us. And so even though they want harmony because they're in that instinctual center, right, of what is happening right now, they want to avoid that conflict right now and create actually more long term disharmony and, and resentment inside of them, right? So when a 9 can use their voice, have an opinion, everything can change. Everything can change. And actually they're the most inclusive, they're the most non judgmental, kind hearted, like genuine people when they have their opinion and when they ask for what they want and say it, but they have a hard time with that. And finally the Enneagram ones, boy are they hard on themselves. There's no gray area. So if they're not good, they're absolutely fucking terrible. If they're not right, they're wrong. If they're not first, they are last. And on the golf course, that is a worst case scenario for an Enneagram one. They also, in order to quiet that rumbling for themselves, they can kind of be the one who is the integrity police and the rural police on the golf course calling people out, the equity police or the etiquette etiquette police, thank you. On the golf course or you didn't do that, right? Or they're, you know, fact checking the scorecard and things like that to kind of quiet their own feeling of insecurity and criticism, that internal critic that's going on. So when one can step into not sweating the small stuff and knowing that what will make them good and righteous in all the right ways is having more of a gray area outlook, especially on the golf course. Because when a one is in that rigid part, they're not fun to be around. And what happens then is then you don't get invited as much or people see you coming and they avoid you. And the thing is, when a one is at their best, they're the greatest teachers ever. They really are, because they have high standards, high integrity, they are meticulous in what they do. And we actually could learn a lot from them, etiquette wise and Otherwise, Right. But because that inner critic gets so loud and then they project that sometimes out on other people, we kind of avoid them when they're like that. So not sweating the small stuff and knowing that what makes them good and better and righteous is in the gray area. That's when we can all learn more from A1. And they aren't as hard on themselves that way.

Is there a number that's more negative than others?

It depends how you define negative, positive or negative. Yeah, I mean, it depends how you define negative. Like, people might look at you and me and think we are just bitter. Betty's. Because we're just aggressive and domineering. So it really just depends what you think negative means. Like, ones can be critical. Twos can be negative in the way that they don't, you know, stand up for themselves. Threes can be negative because they blow, people blow by people. Fours can be negative because they get in their own way, in their own head and they can be a little dramatic and emotional. Fives can be negative because they're not very social and they can appear cold. Sixes could be negative because they're, you know, punching holes and everything because they're troubleshooting. Sevens can appear negative because they aren't in reality all the time because they're just like, woohoo, let's have fun. And like, fuck it. Eights, like I said, can be appear negative because we're just like, direct and hard. And nines can appear negative because they don't have an opinion. So it just depends, like, what negativity means to you. Like what you and I think is negative and what a seven thinks is negative. Probably totally different.

How about doing the work? Doing, you know, practicing, putting in the time to excel at whether it's golf or something else that you're working towards.

I think that, you know, whether it's manifestation or recovery or your golf game or communication or, you know, you know, your health. It's the reps. The reps build confidence. Now when we marry that with our personality and our intuition and our own body, like, that is when the magic happens. Like, you have to put in the reps. There's no way around that. But just putting in the replacement reps, your mindset and your heart line will take you out every time. I mean, we've seen the greatest of all time fall because they didn't work on their heart and their head and their mind and their spirit and their soul. So you gotta have the two together. That is when the best things happen. You think about Like Michael Jordan, Tiger woods, the best golfers of all time. All still, like, even, you know, John Rahm. I'm sure he's got a performance coach on staff all the time.

Oh, yeah.

An emotional mindset coach.

So let's back up for a second. Okay, so let's say each number, one through nine is doing the work. They're putting reps in.

Yep.

Can we just go through one through nine one more time and say what their. What was the word that you're using? How do they shine? Or their.

Their superpower in their kryptonite.

Yeah, so let's just do. Okay, they're putting in the reps. What's the one other thing they have to do to work on that heart line?

Yeah. Ones definitely need to find gray area.

They must, because it's either I'm really good or I'm really bad, or I'm.

Right or I'm wrong or I'm like.

There's no process in the middle.

None. None. And you can see where we miss the miracles in our life when we do that as an Enneagram one, like, you're missing the beauty right in front of you.

So it's like a perfectionist almost.

They're called the strict perfectionist for a reason. I like to call them the warden, too, because, I mean, they're hard on themselves and then other people.

So even though they can teach, like, the best of them, they still struggle with executing because it has to be perfect.

Has to? Yeah. So they can become stuck.

Okay, so they're putting in the reps, but they really have to start being more available to that gray area.

Yeah, they have to, like. So each Enneagram type, we have a growth number, and the growth number for the Enneagram, one for each of us. It's like the opposite of how we naturally show up. So you think about the strict perfectionist, their growth number, they embody more of the enneagram 7, which is the enthusiastic visionary could not be more opposite for them. But, like, when I'm using the framework of the Enneagram, knowing what target I'm aiming for to be the best version of myself for an Enneagram one, it's to embody and look more seven, like, which is like.

Okay, that's interesting.

What's the best that could happen? Yeah, that's what a seven thinks. Oh, Enneagram one thinks about, like, if I'm not good, I'm terrible.

Okay, so how about two? So you're putting the reps in? Yep. But what's the Main thing they have to. They struggle with, or they have to.

Work on asking for what they want and asking for what they need. Because their growth number is the enneagram 4. They go from the considerate helper and then their target is. Is I need to be more like a 4, which is the.

Creative, the romantic, the individualist. Like you think about, like the. The two is all about what they do for other people. The more that they embody, what do I want? What do I need? They actually can be greater helpers when they do that. But they don't ever fill their cup first. They never put their oxygen mask on first. And so what happens is, is when they're over giving, over giving, they're building resistance, resentment, they're burning out. And so the more than an Enneagram, two can speak up for what they need. Their needs aren't selfish. I need to tell every enneagram, too. Like, you don't judge us for having needs ever. We won't judge you either, but we can't read your mind. Twos have a beautiful gift of intuitively knowing what other people need without words being said. I'm going to tell every Enneagram, too. We don't have that same gift, so we need you to use your words when they do. Like, they're amazing. They're the best people to be around. I'm raising it to, like, they're the best when they are doing that. They can be a little resentful and negative when they're not.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. Number three, putting in reps. What's the one thing?

Well, threes put in reps all day long.

Yeah, all day long.

That's all they're doing all day long. Because, like, more is better. More is better.

More.

They're insatiable with the reps. It's why we admire them. But they burn out their bodies, they burn out their relationships. They burn out everything in their life. Like, it's not sustainable.

So. Meaning we're seeing threes on the range all day long. They're grinding. They're dependable. Meaning they're out there. You can depend on them working hard.

They look good, too.

But behind the scenes, they are on.

The verge of burnout.

Yeah.

And they. You know the thing about golf. Yes. We don't like to suck. Not gonna, you know, ever say that sucking is fun.

Yeah.

Right. But I think we can all agree that there's so much about the journey and, you know, what happens during the course of 18 holes that is much more than what the scorecard Says. Right. So for a three to know that there is more than what the bottom line says that make you amazing and the best. Like, the best isn't necessarily tied to something that's measurable. And for threes, they only do things that are measurable that they can have. Like, something that tells them that they're the best, or they'll surround themselves with people that will tell them they're the best. So the growth number for an Enneagram 3 is the Enneagram 6, which is the troubleshoot. Threes don't like to troubleshoot. They just want to barge through life and get to the finish line first. When a three can slow down and be more six, like, and kind of reverse engineer how to get here, they actually will find more joy in the journey, and they will cross more finish lines in a way that doesn't burn them out, rather than just like, let's go all the time. Right. But it's. Threes don't like to slow down ever, for anything.

Yeah.

But they're missing the very thing that they want, which is feeling significant in a community, feeling significant in who they are. Not necessarily what they do, what they achieve, or how they appear, but in order. You know, with. With great reward comes a great responsibility. They want that. But then they have to slow down, which they don't want to do. Fours, like I said, you know, when I was talking about structure earlier for the fours, you know, they get in their head and all the things and like, oh, my God, I'm terrible. Well, their growth number is an Enneagram one. So they go from this intense, creative, romantic individualist who is kind of in their own way to that strict perfectionist. They can take some of those qualities of that perfectionist and structure. And when you add a little structure to somebody who is more emotional and more creative, even on a golf course, you will have a really great experience with that.

Them. Okay, so they're out there putting in the. Putting in the reps, but maybe it's just more of a. Okay, I'm gonna go out and practice and just kind of see what. See what I feel like doing or see whatever. See, I don't know, But. But then putting maybe a plan in front of them.

Yeah.

And. Yeah.

And they don't love it. You know, I'm dating a four, and he's. He loves golf, and he's good at golf. He thinks he's terrible. He thinks he's missing something, which is like a 4.

2.

Like, they think that something's missing in them all the time, which is hilarious, you know, so they can be very expressive with their attire. They're like, well, I'm gonna look good, I'm gonna feel good. I'm gonna have a playlist for the golf cart and all the things. Like, it's like you can't kind of skirt around the work and the structure that you actually need. And the more that they add, even just that little structure, their uniqueness will come out in more beautiful ways rather than these explosive or emotional and disruptive ways. Which.

Do they have goals?

They. They don't love to put goals out there because that feels very boxed in, right?

They.

They'd much rather like on any given day, if they want to switch it up. If they're locked into a goal, they don't like it so much. A lot of fours mistype as sevens too.

Okay, so if they're. Do they. How do they say they want to get better then? Like, how do they express that they want to improve on something?

I'll figure it out.

Out.

That's their plan.

And they have. They have complete faith in that. Like, that they will figure it out.

Usually. Usually they, they. They are the most prone to go inward and withdraw like a five can. But the difference between a four and a five is it gets really emotionally dark for a four. So, you know, the more that they're outward and expressive, like, that's a good thing. The minute, like a four goes radio silent, I get a little concerned kind of. Because it gets really crazy up in their head sometimes. Yeah.

Okay. How about your fives?

Fives? You know, they, like I said, intel, intel, intel, intel. Not necessarily around people. They don't love to be around people as much. They're the most introverted on the enneagram, so. But they're the studier. The studier, the studier, where their growth number is an enneagram8. So we're just big action takers. We are aggressive, we are direct. Fives need to have more of that. Just do it. Like, just do it. You've got all the information. You've got the resources. You putting your energy out there won't deplete you. I promise. The more that you actually get that momentum going, the more energized and certain you will feel in doing it.

So they're watching all the YouTube videos.

Every YouTube video, they're up at three in the morning Googling, like, how to perfect my swing.

And are they going as far as buying a class or. Okay, so they're learning all the things. Learning, learning, learning, investing in it 100, spending the time on it. But then it's like, okay, now I gotta go do it. Now I have to go play the round. Now I have to go play it in tournament. That's where.

And there's a few factors. It isn't just about the information and having that certainty. Fives are also worried about their energetic bank tank being depleted. So if they don't know who's going to be around or who they're playing with, that is a wild card. They don't want to risk.

Will they take the time to actually like call the pro shop and be like, I want to be like, do.

They take control sometimes? Like when they're stepping into their power. Like when a 5 can say out loud like, I fives love me and I love fives because when they can voice like, listen, I'm here for it. But I have some things that I would prefer to be in line.

Yeah, we got a couple bullet points to go over.

But once like, and once like they understand that people actually respect that like they're the best. That's why they love me. Because I'm like, yeah, totally get it, Totally get it. But like, you know, they have to actually be more assertive and do that. But they're, they're like, if I am assertive, then I will be energetically depleted, which they don't want. So like there's this gray area. They know what they want, but they won't always ask for what they want. And instead of taking action, they'll just like, nah, I'll, I'll sit out this one.

Okay, so we need the fives to take action. All right, on to 6.

6. Like I said earlier, their growth number is the 9, which is like the over encompassing faith. Right. Sixes are down head. What's the worst case scenario? Worst case scenario. Worst case scenario. We talked about it. They get paralyzed. So embodying more of the, the 9 energy of like, let's find joy in the journey. Let's have faith. Like, we know that anything that does happen is for our greatest good down the road. But sixes don't want to do that because they want to make sure they're certain they're not going to be blindsided by anything that can come their way. So a little less questions, a little more Faith and A6 are great to have on a team. They're the best collaborators when they do that.

So they might be hesitant to sign up for events, sign up for a ladies league because they're thinking the worst case scenario yeah.

And unless they have all their. Their questions answered, like your frequently asked questions thing on the tournament, like, that's the first thing a six will look for.

Yeah.

And if you are missing their questions, you can be sure they'll be in your email asking, you know, a few.

So we need them to just pause on the questions and just get out.

There and trust that, like, some of your best troubleshooting in the future will come from things that you never saw coming.

Yeah.

Yeah. But that's hard for them to do for sevens. Like, like I said, they're just like, what's the best that could happen? We're gonna have a good time. We're not gonna be boxed in. There's free reign. There's no rules. They love that because they don't want to be restricted or confined or put in any kind of box. They want to make sure that at any moment they can pivot it, do what they want. Now that's fun. I'm raising one of these as well. They're so much fun. Some of my closest friends are sevens because I need to, not I need to have more fun. So do you. Because we're freaking intense, right? Like, so having people like that in our life is great, but.

But do they ever take it seriously enough?

That's their sweet spot. So when a 7 is growing, they embody more of that enneagram 5. So they go from the enthusiastic visionary to like. Like the quiet specialist. So they can have and the fun and the community and all the things. But if they don't take the time to gather some information, have a little structure, quiet themselves, because a lot of times they'll be all about the fun to avoid hard feelings because they don't want to be trapped by anything negative. Like, the least negative on the Enneagram is probably the seven. But when they feel confined or trapped, they can become very rigid. So them kind of going into a solitude cave. I call it the Five Cave. It's kind of like sevens go around throwing glitter and throwing these beautiful seeds with fruit that they can bear and flowers and all the things. But if you just go around throwing seeds all the time and you don't create the environment or container for them to take root, you know, the wind will blow it away, the birds will eat them.

Like, are they friends with everyone?

They are. They're typically most. They're the master networkers.

It's very hard to not picture certain people in your life as you're. As you're. I know the listener right now is like picturing the. Each person that is in their life that are these people. And sevens just seem easy to be like, to pinpoint. Like, oh, seven.

Yeah, a lot of times they are.

Behaviorally, yes, motivationally, there's certain kinds of sevens that are a little harder to pinpoint, but yeah, you can usually spot them behaviorally. But diving deeper on what motivates them, you know what. What motivates that enthusiastic visionary is having obstacles, emotions, and having certainty. They can look very three like as well. A lot of sevens are mistyped as threes as well.

How. What's the main difference between a four and a seven? Because it seems very similar. Yeah, fours are just more creative, more in a.

The motive is different. So for a four, like my. My boyfriend, he was mistyped as a seven and he's a four. Fours are motivated by significance and being authentic and unique. Sevens are about certainty. I want to have all options available to me at all times. So they do look unique and special. Right. But it's motivated for certainty where significance is the driving force. For a four way difference, that's like you and me. We can look very three like, behaviorally, like, most people would peg you for a three. Me too. But when we think about it, you and I do what we do to be strong, to have independence, control, and autonomy. We don't do it because everybody's cheering for us. In fact, that makes you and I feel very, very uncomfortable because it's vulnerable. That's why we're not threes. But a three is like, cheer me on all day long. Tell me I'm the best. I actually hate I'm on people's radar when they think I'm the best. I'd rather be stealthy and blindside you. And so do you.

Okay, how about eights?

Eights? Obviously that aggression, domineering intensity is amazing because makes people feel protected, but it's also very disruptive and can hurt a lot of people's feelings, quite honestly.

Yeah.

Yeah. So we are growth numbers. The enneagram, too. So we go from the intense challenger or active controller to, you know, the considerate helper. So Mother Teresa was an Enneagram 8 to Martin Luther King an Enneagram 8. But they look very two like. Yeah, but trust me, both of them would cut a bitch if they had to. And you and I could too. But when an A can embody that compassion, that empathy, that community, that connection, like that intensity actually is the superpower. But it's. You know, think about it. If we are trying to protect vulnerabilities if we put our walls down and let compassion in, that's when we can be betrayed or violated. So it's a really hard move, naturally for a two or for an eight. So we gotta, we gotta kind of learn how to do that. But when we do that, we champion others from a genuine place, not just with lip service. Because I'm still intense. I just did a retreat this weekend and I'm still intense and I'm still spicy and all those things. But the compassion never lies. Now, back then, not so easy. I could say what I could. That sounded compassionate to manipulate you, but it's not authentic, right?

Yeah. All right, so let's finish it up with the nines. They're putting in the reps, but what are they missing or what do they need to tap into to really excel at something?

Actually taking action with what they want, even if it disrupts or creates temporary conflict.

So they know what they want.

They do, but they will shove it down and just say, I don't care, whatever you want. They're very clear with what they want. Yeah, the pin. They know what they want, but they're reading the room always and reading the course and they're foursome. Like, okay, what will create the least amount of conflict? And I will just answer that. So they, their growth number is the enneagram.

3.

So like threes are shameless. Threes are absolutely shameless about getting to the end zone.

Yeah.

And they don't care. Like that's their problem. Right. It's. It's their superpower. It's why we're inspired by them. It's also why they frustrate us. Right. Because they'll leave anybody in their dust and it can, you can feel like a pawn where a nine needs more of that energy. They'll always be generous and kind and non judgmental and inclusive. That's not going anywhere for a nine. They just need a little bit of that gritty zero fuck zone of the three. Because when they have that compassionate, kind hearted, inclusive spirit with a little bit of this action, that's when they're their best and we love being around them and we feel great when we are. I love nines when they use their voice. I love when a nine gives their opinion.

Love it. Okay, let's go through. Hopefully I don't go too off track. Let's go through like a couple scenarios and maybe you can throw out. Okay. This is mostly likely a. Sure. This. Okay. Make a tea time. Organize the group, make the tea times. Know the game.

Yeah. What type is that twos probably, like, they have the snacks. They make sure everybody has what they need. They fill the cooler, like the whole thing. Sometimes a one will do that too, because in a six, ones, twos and sixes, I would probably say, because they're the most compliant types, right? They're about the rules and being socially acceptable. Like, so the ones are following rules. Sixes do it because they want to make sure everybody's doing what they should be doing. Twos do it for significance. Yeah.

How about the. The. The players that rarely organize the groups but are happy to come along.

And four, fives and nines. Absolutely. Four, fives and nines. They're the more withdrawn types, right? Even if they are out there doing the thing, they kind of sit back and observe before they offer an opinion or take charge with things. Fours are just like, whatever. I don't want to be in charge because if I want to be my unique self, like, I don't want to be necessarily a leader, but, like, it'd be cool if I could be right. Fives are like, no, because then people will come to me with questions and suck the life out of me. And nines are afraid of doing it and upsetting someone, so they'd just rather not not.

And remind us again who's. Who's following all the rules? Who's. Who is the person that we go to with question?

Ones, ones, fives and sixes. Because fives know the. The rules. Whether or not they're acting them out and talking about them is another thing. But like, if a five, like I have a five that specializes in everything in my life, like finance, real estate. Like, I find a 5 in every. Every category I'm interested in because they know. They know the things. Whether or not they share it with you is a whole nother thing. So you can't deplete them energetically. But if you want right, wrong, good, bad, and the rules, ones and sixes, hands down, have no problem telling you if you're doing it wrong or if you are going to disrupt things. But five is actually probably no more. They just don't share it.

Are they all dependable in their own way or are there some.

Absolutely. And there's no great, great, the greatest type of all time.

Because everybody, when they are in their healthy superpowers, we all bring something to the table because we were never meant to do this life alone and in community and in what you're doing. We see all different kinds of women and Lord knows, like, if. If it was all just aids like me and you. It'd be like fight Club all the time. Although that might be fun for a moment.

Yeah.

Yeah. We're gonna end up in jail.

So.

Having the superpowers of all the other types, really, it's where I have learned the most about myself. It's where I've surrounded myself with the right people, because I'd much rather stay in a hole and be a lone wolf. But it's empty, and it's sad, and it's where I get really destructive on myself. Right. That isolation is a beast for all of us, and I know where I go with that. So when we can see the beauty in each enneagram type and surround ourselves with a wide variety of humans, not only do we have compassion for ourself and learn kind of what we need more of in our life, we end up having compassion for other people. Because I used to be super judgmental of everyone, and it was in understanding this in rehab and then recognizing that I was raising a 2 and a 7 who not only are very different from me, they're different from each other, and they bring something to the table that I lack. And instead of trying to put them into the box that I perceive they should be in as an 8, I needed to understand what motivated the 2 and what lights them up and what they're most afraid of. And same thing with the seven. And in doing that, they taught me. And the more that we can see through the nine different lenses and look for the gifts in each of them, even the ones that really piss us off, because I got some people in my life that I've had to let go that are really challenging. And even when it got really not so good and there was really bad things that brought the relationship to an end, I still have compassion because I know what happened. I know what fear got nicked and they couldn't recover from it. I know where they maybe felt like I did them dirty. Doesn't make it fun or, like, I'm not angry about it, but I do understand it, and I do have compassion. And so when we're surrounding ourselves in communities like yours, like, always looking not necessarily for the people that are more like you, but the ones that aren't, that's when it gets really fun.

It does. That's true.

Tracy, thanks for being on the show.

Yeah.

I love all this stuff. I agree. So interesting. And actually, before we end, let's tie in the zodiac signs. Yeah. I mean, do. Is there a correlation? Is there, like, a sweet. Like, if you're an Aries and You're a three. Holy. No, I mean, like, is there.

I'm down for all that. So. My daughter is an astrologist, too, so I find there's more correlation when I understand not just their sun sign. Like, I'm an Aries. When. When. When's your birthday?

Gemini. May 28th.

Totally Gemini. Do you know your rising sign?

I don't. How do I. How do we figure out our rising.

Well, my daughter does birth charts so she can help you. Or, like, you have to know when and where you're.

Oh, yes. Okay.

So it's funny. So my daughter and I will be watching, and she's like, okay, what enneagram type? Like, we love Law and Order, svu. And I'm like, oh, and the housewives. We type all the housewives and all that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, girl. Girlfriend. So we'll guess. I'm like, oh, like, Kyle is definitely an enneagram. Six, like, a hundred percent. And Casey's like, she's probably like, a cancer or something. And then we'll go, like, research and. Sure. Like, we're right.

Oh, no, I love that.

Yeah.

We talk about fun game.

Oh, my God, we love it. And so then we start googling it, like their sun or their astrology chart. You kind of know. But, like, for me, like, I'll listen. I was listening to Matthew McConaughey's Green Lights book, and. Yeah. So fucking good.

Yep.

I'm like, okay. At the beginning of the book, I'm like, I think he's a seven. I think he's a seven. Then towards the end, I'm like, no, he's a four. Like, so.

Yeah.

So, like, understanding that. But astrology, I think it just enhances more. You know, there's more framework to the Enneagram. We have things called wings and a stress number and our tri type, which is what I was telling you. Like, the tri type for you kind of operates like how an H shows up. Why we look different as aids, even though we're motivated very similarly. We fear very similarly when we're using the other centers of intelligence. You and I are very different. So, like, in the feeling center, I'm more like a two. You're more like a three. In the thinking center, you're more a visionary. I'm more of a troubleshooter. Right. So, like, that can change the expression of it. Same thing with, like, astrology. Your sun sign is one thing, but what is the supporting roles, like the rising sign and the moon sign. Right. The rising sign is kind of how you present to the world, the moon sign is your emotional stuff. So when we kind of bring in the Enneagram, all this. And I'm obsessed, like, but I'm getting so good at, like, knowing, and I can pick up on it where people start, like, okay, like, are you stalking me? Are you reading my mind or what's going on?

I feel like we need to have your daughter on here. You should.

Oh, my God, it'd be so good. She's so great.

Okay, let's do that. I mean, let's just dive deeper. I mean, I love all this stuff. Why not?

The more that we can know ourselves and really, like, the key here is one thing to know ourselves. But a lot of us want to pull out the shame stick, right? And we want to, like, find reasons why we suck. Whether you're outward with that or not. Like, I know, like, I'm building a case a lot of the times against myself, not always for myself. And so all these tools, just, like, any tool, any tool in the wrong hands with the wrong intent can do of lot. A lot of damage. Whether it's the Enneagram, a chainsaw, the Bible, even, right? Like that in the wrong hands with the wrong intent really can do a lot of damage. So anytime you're using things like the Enneagram, a chainsaw, astrology, human design, any of them, like, really make sure your intent is to know yourself better with compassion, empathy, grace, and love. Because when you learn about yourself with the motive of that behind it, that's when you come grow.

Yeah.

If you do it with shame or unworthiness or guilt or ego, like, it's. You're just kicking the can down the street.

When I think of it as an awareness tool, you know, sometimes when I am just totally focused on getting better, getting better at golf, I'm talking about and doing the next tournament and going to the next level sometimes. Yeah, I could feel like. And it's. It's sometimes as easy as, like, okay, let's just go back to Tuesday Ladies League and just be with the women, be in the community, share my experience, hear what they're saying, you know, and just enjoy that day. Even though that's not the intensity that I crave. You know what I mean? Yeah.

No, girl, Totally. Like, when that strap broke on that bag when I was getting ready to walk into my lesson, like, I had to use this framework to talk me down because I went to, like, my stressor number, which is a five for you, and I. Building a case of why I'm terrible. What the Fuck was I thinking doing this? Like, building a case. Building a case. Building a case. And like using this self awareness tool to pause for a moment and like, ask myself what's really happening. Well, I'm fearful of looking vulnerable and weak and having a kind conversation with myself. I'm like, you're just starting. We all are not great when we're starting and it's gonna be okay. Like, I talk to myself like I'm a four year old. Like I'm speaking kindly to the four year old. I'm like, no, of course you're feeling weak and vulnerable right now. You're first of all around a bunch of women you don't know who tend to scare you based on your own history and life with women. And you're not used to sucking at things. You're known to be great whatever you choose to do. So of course, like.

Strap breaking shitty old clubs that look like they belong in the Smithsonian. Like, how about we have a little fun here and be compassionate and this tool helped me do that and I had so much fun and I loved it and it kept me from not throwing the golf clubs into another lake and not playing for another 10 years.

Well, let's end with that. Let's end with what would you say to whether it's a beginner golfer that's listening today or the woman that just hasn't signed up for the ladies League or hasn't signed up for that tournament? What do you say to how, what do you say to them? Well, going into that space of unknown.

Yeah, I mean, it's in the unknown where we find the most miracles. Right? Like, and, you know, I'm 51 now, so like when I do want to build a case forward thinking, like, I try to be in the moment, like, what do I really want right now? And I want community and I want fun and I want amazing women in my life and I want to get good at a sport.

Right?

And then I'll go into my heart. It's like, well, that's going to require me to be vulnerable and say, I don't know everything, but I'm here for it. I'm here for the journey. Right. You know, I've watched enough people die at the end of their life long before they should have. And it was never about, like being the best at golf or having the most money in the bank. It was about savoring and enjoying the journey and the people that are here for you. There's a poem called Reason, Season, Lifetime, and it's about the people that show up in our life. Some are here for a reason. Some are for a season. Some are lifetime. And I believe the more that we put ourselves into these situations that really do make us uncomfortable at first, we end up finding more of our lifetime people. And sometimes we find the reason in season ones, too. But we can't do that if we're sitting on the sidelines of life. So just sign up. Just do the thing. Even if your strap breaks in the parking lot and you have the clubs that. That, like, seriously, probably, they don't ever make. Ever, it's totally okay. Because I can only imagine what I'd be missing if I didn't show up anyway.

Yeah.

So just do it.

Thanks, Tracy, for being here. Of course, if you want to connect with Tracy, which I highly suggest you do, all of her information is in the show notes, so check it out. And we're going to have to have your daughter on. What's her name?

Kasey.

Casey. Of course.

Yeah.

Casey needs to come on. We need to talk astrology. You need to be here, too.

Oh, I love.

And because you're going to give us an update on what's going on in your golf game.

Totally. Like, I would love that. And I will see all of you at the Desert Classic in March.

Shit.

I'm just saying it down.

No, it's happening. I know it's happening.

You're the reason why I'm taking golf lessons, sister. I want to be a part of this. It's so amazing. I need a handicap.

All right, great.

Appreciate you.

Be sure to check out the show notes for all the details on today's show. If you haven't already, please give a five star written review on your favorite podcast platform or even screenshot this episode and send it to your golf buddies. Thank you so much for listening, and I'll catch you on the first tee in a couple days.