67: Building success and overcoming trauma by being authentically you, with Megan Everett

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up. Let's go.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And we are going to have some fun today. I met this amazing woman I'm about to introduce you to a couple weeks ago. And you guys know my qualifications for interviewing people. I have to be blown away and completely intrigued by somebody to interview them. And for me to know this woman for less than a month, to immediately want her on to share with all of you, says something about this incredible person. She you know, you've heard me say this before, like in the past when I would have this intuition come where I could feel energy before I even walked in a room. Of course, growing up, that used to terrify me because I needed to feel energy. So I knew what I had to prepare myself for. So I knew I would be safe. And for the longest time I would just assume whenever I felt energy that it meant it was bad.

Right?

And so I know looking back, there were opportunities I might have had where I robbed myself of some incredible people in my life. But you know what? The timing is never wrong. And so over the last year or so, I've had this feeling come up a lot where before I even walk in a room, I know my soul knows somebody in that room. And sure enough, when I walked in that room, I locked eyes with this amazing woman and I was like my long lost little sister. And after talking to her, it was just like this weird out of body, like there was 40 something people in this room. It was just like her and I were the only ones there for a few minutes and I was like, I know you, I see you. And she was basically saying the same thing back to me and it was very, very special. And you know, by the time we got to sit down and really deep dive over lunch, it was evident that our souls knew each other. They'd been through a lot of the same heartbreak and trauma and experiences and. And they battle with the same things. Even today, even through success and accolades and millions of dollars later, those sweet little souls that reside in both of us still have a battle that they go to war with every day. And Megan Everett is the owner of Perform. It is a. Listen to this. She started in 2017, y', all, and it is in the multiple, multiple, eight figure range, I think. Was it 27 million last we checked?

Yeah.

$27 million company since 2017. She is the founder and CEO. She's all the things around that company, Investor, speaker. But what I love most about her, like her brain makes my heart explode because she's in the tech industry. And I know some of you watch my Instagram stories and me and tech are not friends and. And here's this tech goddess of this multi gazillion dollar company in my space. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm in love with you. And you're creating so much anxiety in my heart. Teach me how to turn on a modem, please.

And she's running this beautiful company, but what I love most about her is that those things that my soul knew about her, the pain, the trauma, she's used it for a greater good. She said, the shit stops with me. And she has taken a firm stand against the very thing she. You know, she's had some dark roads and depress, depression battles that she's faced because of it, as we all do. You know, we never just decide we're going to overcome shit and then tomorrow it's all great. There's a process that it takes us through, and it's usually painful and messy and grueling and dark sometimes. But I'm so grateful that even in the darkness, she was able to see a glimmer of light. Because today she does amazing work, not just in her tech company, but she volunteers in her community through youth soccer and domestic violence shelters. She was an elite athlete in her early days and has used those skill sets into being around kids. She is. Well, she's my little sister. Like she's the big sister you want in business, but because I'm so damn old, I'm the big sister and she's the little sister. And, you know, something told me about this girl that, you know, she's always been the big sister her whole life, taking care of everybody else. This is a girl that really could use a strong, powerful soul sister in her life. And I know that in our meeting and our friendship, that is what we provide each other. This woman is remarkable. You are going to be blown away by when you hear $27 million since 2017, it's like, what the actual fuck? How, how, how, how did she do that? And there's no secret sauce, other than being a beautiful human being, genuinely giving a fuck about people, building relationships, loving at the highest level, serving at the highest level, and caring about people, problem solving and creating solutions for people that is so affordable. Like, when. When you hear what she does, like, you can't even believe that. 2499amonth bill, $27 million later. It's unfucking believable, but not as unbelievable as this woman. So, Megan, welcome to my show.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. Your intro almost made me cry, so.

It's a gift. It's a gift. I'm just kidding. So, girlfriend, I met you about a month ago.

Yeah.

And I don't know if you felt that, but I know, you know, when. When women like us have been through the things that we've been through, we always have our radar on. And like I said, for most of my life, my radar was on to keep the bad shit away. And I never allowed that radar to allow me to bring the good shit in. I know you even being in that room, even though you're more than qualified, even though most of your life you've been told you were unqual, qualified for all the great things that we'll get into that, but you are probably the most qualified person to be in that room. And yet there was still an internal battle going on.

Oh, I walked into that room so nervous, and I don't know if I told you this the night before, I had called a friend and was like, hey, do you want to go car shopping with me tomorrow? I'm not going to go to this thing.

Shut up. Did you really?

I was like, I'll just pay for it. Like, I don't care. I'm not going to. Because I had no idea what I was walking into. Like, I didn't know anyone in there. I had only talked to Chris twice. I don't know him. And it was one of those moments where I'm like, what if I'm not good enough? What if, like, everyone in there is LA pretty and I'm just me?

And so walking in, I think it took me probably half a day to, like, settle in and feel okay.

Mm. Yeah. It is different. And, you know, LA pretty, I like to call it the bobblehead the bobblehead land. The land of the bobbleheads. And I mean that in not a judgy way, but you get what I mean. When we think of la, that's just what we think of. Right.

But I think we all especially. I mean, you could lead that room, clearly, right? Like, you know that intellectually, and I know certain things intellectually. And this is like. This is so powerful for those of you that are listening because. Because you're hearing the $27 million tech company like, oh, my God. Like. And when you hear the people that she has worked with, you're like. And she's worried about walking in that room. Are you fucking kidding me? But you need to understand. And I know this and she knows this, and through our conversation, you know, a couple weeks ago, we knew this. Like, the things that we learn early on in life, we take with us the beliefs that are born based on our environment and maybe some abuse and words, even one sentence, for me, it was one sentence changed my belief for my entire life moving forward. And that's powerful shit. And those are the things that make us afraid to walk in the room. So I know that you said we could talk about anything. We're gonna talk about all of it. That you grew up in a small town in California, right?

I did.

And you're the oldest of three.

Oldest of three girls.

Mom and dad were what?

In what sense?

Just like. What was like, life growing up as Megan. I know that you. You told me that you were a competitive athlete, and you know that Type A just handles shit and taking care of everybody. So obviously when you build the kind of.

Posture that it is your job to take care of everybody, usually that means there's some shit going sideways in the home.

Oh, yeah. So my parents. My mom, actually, when I was young, was, like, a badass. Like, I am, like, editor of a newspaper in her 20s, which is insane. Wrote freelance, and my parents separated a couple times when I was young. But it was this very abusive cycle. And eventually that abuse, like, came to us as kids, and my mom became very.

Dismissive and kind of hid from it, which I now know is battered women's syndrome. It's not because she chose to.

But, you know, as a kid and the oldest of three girls, and no one is protecting you, you go straight into, it's my job to take care of everyone.

And I think that defines so much of my life. And that started probably around 10 or 11.

Yeah. That is this similar situation for me. I saw my mom. My mom was very creative, too. She Wasn't like, a badass, like, out in the world, but she was a badass in her own right. And, you know, when she gets beat down emotionally or whatever, eventually it became exactly what you said, like, unprotected, neglected almost. And not because she chose to. I mean, bless her heart. Right. Bless your mom's heart. Like, they. That's all they knew. And that was my role as well, was this protective, like, nobody's gonna touch me, hurt me, and it's my job. Right.

Yeah.

And, you know, when you go into that role as the older sister doing that, which I did, too.

Were you ever angry? Were you more angry at your mom or your dad, the abuser or the one that wasn't protecting you?

Both.

Yeah.

I think I was, as I got older, more angry with my mom, so vocal about it and, like, kept asking to be protected and wasn't getting it. And I don't know if we talked about this. I actually am the one that reported it to CPS.

Yeah, you told me.

When I was 17. And so which enforced that role of, like, it's my job. Mm. Which has created all kinds of, like, adult childhood trauma stuff, but, you know, we get to work through that.

So when you're 17 and you call CPS on your own dad and pretty much that exposes, like, not only is that brave and courageous, but now you're going to disrupt your mom's life, obviously your dad's life. You know, you. You know, I grew up in the era of, like, what happens in our house stays in our house. Right. I know that you grew up in that kind of cultish. We'll talk about that.

Yes.

And. And you just blew the fucking top off, all of it, with one phone call.

Right? Yeah.

What was the. Like. What was the reaction from your mom when you did that?

To hide it. Everything when my parents found out was to sweep it under the rug. We were all told to, like, say that it was a lie. Like, I was supposed to say that it was a lie.

The church got very involved.

Which is very common in these situations in those kind of churches.

And as it progressed, my mom became very angry with me because her life was drastically changing, which, at 17, I didn't take any of that into account. Sure.

Of course.

There was no, like, thought of, like, this changes the income in our family. This changes, you know, like, none of that was even a thought to me. But I shouldn't have had to, right?

No, of course not. But did you beat yourself up for that later, when you understood the magnitude of that did you go into, like, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should have just kept taking one for the team or.

I felt a different kind of compassion for my mom because things suddenly became very difficult for her in a different way.

So you were a competitive athlete right around the same time?

Yeah.

And was it soccer and figure skating?

I had quit figure skating when I was 16. I'm 5 8. And it was very hard to jump high when you were 5 8.

And so.

My body just wasn't made to long term skate. And once you're older, and I mean older as in, like teens, if you're not making it to nationals, you're never going to make it at that point.

Right.

Young sport.

So you went off to college for soccer?

Yeah. Right.

Where'd you go to college?

I went to Ouachita Baptist University. It's a D3, D4 school. It is not, like a prestigious sports school.

But it was a family school. My grandfather had taught there. It was an easy place to get scholarships and a legacy grant, which I needed. So I got a really good private education for a fraction of the price, which is, you know, what I needed at that point.

So what did you major in?

Political science and business.

Okay. Were you always, like, business minded or did you early on, like you said, your mom was kind of a badass. What did your dad do for work?

He's an environmental chemist.

Mm.

Literally a genius, right?

Yeah. And you're kind of like a genius too, but in something different, so totally different. How did you pick, like, business? Like, did you know what you were about to do a few years later?

No. No. I thought I was going to be a senator.

You'd be a great senator. Oh, you turn the world upside down.

That was the plan, to work on campaigns and become a senator. And I decided not to go to grad school, which, when you have no money and you're on your own, like, going straight into work after college is something you have to do. And I ended up in hospital administration, which is not something I ever thought I would do. I was really good at it, though. Like, I loved helping people and I loved being the boss.

So I got to boss around doctors and help patients.

It's like the best of both worlds, right?

Right. I was like, oh, this is great. And I was like, like 25, 26. So I had no clue that everyone hated me because they've got some little 20something bossing them around, and they're in their 40s and 50s.

Oh, my gosh. So you go from hospital administration, and when like, how long do you do that before, like, your business brain, entrepreneur brain, starts to take over?

About seven years. I figured out pretty quickly as I was excelling in my career that the cap for what I would make in that kind of system was probably 80 to 100,000. Even if I had gone and got an MBA, like, it wouldn't be much more than that, right? And so, and I was around like, pharma reps all day, and I was like, these people look like they have so much fun and they make so much money. Like, I am in the wrong career. And so I was like, I'm gonna go be a pharma rep. And then I found out that you need two years experience or to be fresh out of college to be a pharma rep, right? So I took a sales job for Quill and literally sold, like, paper and printers door to door to businesses like Real Life Office. Real Life Office.

Dunder Mifflin.

Right. Yeah. No, they actually sell that paper, which is hilarious.

And I was in the Bay Area with the territory and figured out that I could sell to salons and could sell them toilet paper and keurigs to every salon in the Bay Area and ended up making like $200,000 doing that in my year there.

Selling keurig and toilet paper.

Keurigs and toilet paper.

But you found you figured out the niche that worked for you because nobody was doing it.

Everyone's like, we can't sell office supplies to salons. And I was like, there are freaking 10 salons on every corner corner in the Bay Area. So we did that.

And then moved on to tech sales, which was really difficult for me. It's very male dominated.

And did that for a few years before I left to start perform.

I have a question for you around that. Because I have been in male dominated industries before. I did what I'm doing now. You know, I was in the car industry, the bar industry. And you know, knowing what I know about you and what I know about me.

You know, I was raised by an alcoholic as well. And.

Even though I was always trying to impress my dad. Please, my dad, you know, that twisted stuff, I think that I thrived in male dominated industries because I can almost like use that anger, that internal anger to protect myself and also use the seductive part of me and that femininity to make myself judge them even more. They're stupid fucking idiots. Like, right. Did you ever, like, in the. When you were into those, Was that your thing or. So just me. Am I the only cray cray?

No, that plus getting mail approval.

Yes.

Because I could never get my dad's approval. A genius and a perfectionist, and nothing was ever good enough.

And.

All of a sudden, I had, like, these male CEOs who were like, you are making me a ton of money. Like, I don't care what other people think. Like, Megan is kind of the, like, golden person on the team. And for me, that was like, oh, this older man has so much confidence in me. And it wasn't until after that I was like, oh, that's why that was so important to me. But it was all about, like, being the best and getting approval.

It's so powerful that you said that, because that's very true for me, too, because my dad was amazing. But it was always like, I could never be good enough. First of all, because I wasn't a boy. That's what he wanted. And second of all, he was always. You know, his mindset was like, I want you to be better. Be better. So there was always like, that's great, but.

Right.

And it's. It's funny that you say that, because that is it. That was a driver. Like, I could win over all these men left and right. And it felt really good. And, you know, that takes us to the next part of the story, because that thriving or that desire for approval from men.

Yeah.

You end up in an industry that is pretty much all men, and if you can speak their language, holy wow. Like, in the car industry, when I could speak their language, it was like, holy shit.

Right.

All of a sudden, we're like the golden childs, right?

Yeah.

But when we are dealing from a place that we're wounded from, we haven't done our healing work yet. That can get pretty destructive. I know it did for me, and I know it did for you. How did that play out? As you're navigating? You are the golden child in the tech industry, and you. You are making people lots of money, but you also have this underlying wound.

I completely lost myself in it. Like, I remember at one point, my first software company that I worked for, he started telling people to excel or to get promoted, that the company had to become their entire lives, just like it had for me. And I remember, like, thinking that was some kind of approval. Like, I've done this amazing thing for them, but in the meantime, like, I have no life. I'm not dating, I'm not working out. I'm traveling all over the place for a fraction of what I should be paid. And my health took such a huge toll, and it was just like, I don't think I knew who I was anymore. Like, my entire life was somebody else's company.

And when did you realize that, okay.

I could do this, I could do this?

It was probably the last six months of my old company. My last one. They weren't treating me very well.

I was making them a ton of money. I wasn't getting paid my commissions.

Which is a whole nother thing that happens in.

Were you sales? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's a whole thing. And people are always so surprised when I say that. And I'm like, oh, this isn't new. Like, if you work for a company that pays your sales commissions on time, like, that's a good company.

Or if they don't change how they pay you.

Oh, yeah. Right in the middle of the year, right when you're right after you sign a major contract, and they're like, oh, we're going to change it before they pay. Yeah. I'm. Customers had started asking me why I wasn't running my own company. So I had these, like, huge C teams, and my customers were like, cvs, Starbucks, Shop, Core, Blackstone, you know, like, huge, huge clients and their C teams are asking me why I don't have my own company.

And I was like, I. Like, I don't have an mba. I don't know how to do that. And I'd go in this, like, almost like, little shell of a person where you're like, make me smaller. I don't want to be seen right now. And the answer was always like, you don't need an mba. Like, you can do it. And it's. It's funny because you have these companies where, like, they have been trying to reach out to them for years, and all it took was actually caring about what the company needed.

So this is the part where when people see you on paper.

Yeah.

And see what you've done on paper, you say that and they're like, there has to be some secret. There has to be some secret. And, you know what you had taught. You know, that room that we met in was like, no, it is really genuinely about giving a shit about what this company, this person, this business, whatever needs and genuinely caring and listening.

You can't fake it either.

No.

You can't just go in and be like, oh, I'm gonna act like I care for an hour. Like, you have to be a good person.

So you get a company, like, let's say CVS in front of you.

Yeah.

People are like, well, first of all, how are you in front of like, the decision maker at cvs and they're telling you you need to make your own company. What are you, like, what kind of relationship or customer care are you giving where they can see that in a sales call or, you know, some of.

It was, like, healthy and some of it wasn't. It was things like, you know, Christmas Day, dropping everything to help frame with their sensors that went down. You know what I mean? Like, things like that, where it's like, I went above and beyond in ways that I shouldn't have and now won't in my business. Like, you can't reach me on Christmas Day. There's no way I'm even answering my phone. The whole system could be down and, like, everyone can just deal with it.

So you're almost like living out your codependency in your work life, right?

Oh, I was like, I was so codependent on my customers and even their approval. So that was a thread through. The other thing is, like, I genuinely enjoyed spending time with these people, so. And getting to know people. So we would be at conferences, and instead of going out and partying all night, I would invite women to go to dry bar with me and get blowouts or to meet for dinner or we had a really large commercial development team that was mostly Mormon, so I'd invite them to lunch, things like that. So it wasn't like, centered around being in Vegas or being in Boston, you know, like, because they were such party elements to everything everyone was doing. And they would focus on the people, people that would party with them. And the thing I noticed really early on is highly successful people don't party.

They don't.

They're not out till 3am they're not drinking at conferences. They want to be, like, in their room asleep by 11. And you just have to adjust.

I love that you said that, like, you. You did the things that they would enjoy doing. And if it's like, kind of work and it's true, like, I want to go hike. Like, most of my business meetings are on a hiking trail or doing something that. That is good like that. So you're sitting with the people on Christmas Day and doing all the things. And, you know, I have a similar experience. Like, when I got sober, like, my social life went to nothing, right? And so I kind of. I had to kind of check myself because I could go into that unhealthy boundary area, too, to not feel or to just feel needed or whatever, which is kind of what you did, too. And, you know, your health's taking a Toll, you're never going to be social outside of work if you don't go out and live. Right. So what was happening other than the health stuff? Like, you're feeling this inner desire, even though you've got the voice in your head saying, you don't have an mba, who the fuck are you to be doing this? But in your soul, you're like, no, this is what I can do this.

Yeah, it's interesting. And I used to hate this about myself and then realize that, like, light comes from dark, too. So anytime something massively painful happens in my life, it's like everything shifts.

From August To November of 20, 2016, eight people in my life died. And, like, important people.

Oh, my God.

And one of them was my best friend that I'd had since I was 7, and she was killed by her fiance.

Oh, my goodness.

And my whole world at that point was turned upside down with one phone calls.

And it took me a long time. It took from.

I would say, a good six months to stop crying every night and to stop feeling like something had been taken from me.

Right.

It felt so personal to lose that person.

Sure.

But Hannah was the freest spirit you've ever met.

She didn't care what anybody thought. She would quit and start things. I mean, I've never met somebody who's had so many vocational school certificates. Like, I think Hannah probably did, like, 20 things in her 33 years.

She was a cosmetologist and went to court on Bleu. And, like, everything.

I don't even know. I think last thing she said she wanted to do was move to Hawaii and start sailing, which, like, is all amazing, but it took me a little while, and then I was like, you know, like, maybe I just need to, like, take a little bit of Hannah with me. Take a big risk. Because while I had, like, changed things and I would start over with new jobs, they were always, like, a guaranteed paycheck. I wasn't risking my own money. I wasn't risking losing, like, where I live or anything. And so it was that in my life that was like, you know, like, I don't like working for other people. I actually really hate it. I really hate that I'm only allowed to travel two weeks a year. I really hate that I have to beg to get a day off or that I feel horrible when I get sick and can't go to work, and that's perpetuated by my bosses.

I love what you said because I'm glad that you see this today because, I mean, you're Right. Anytime there's been significant loss or pain or it always is followed by a shift, and we figure out how this is working for us.

And.

And it's hard to make sense of it, especially when people are ripped out of our lives as violently as she was. But I love that you said you took a little bit of Hannah with you, like, her bravery and courage to just pivot and do all these different things, which is so outside of you. The norm of you. That is you today, for sure. Like, you're brave as fuck today as far as, like, like, being instinctual like that. And I know she's so proud. And, you know, losing my dad was my catalyst for change to the no fucks given. Like, we only get one shot at this, and tomorrow is not guaranteed. And, you know, I'm not going to let them leaving this earth mean nothing, so let's go do something with it. So you lost her. What is October of 2016?

October 2016.

And in 2017, you started your business in September 2017.

So I stayed with my company until August.

And in there, there was a breakup and a failed pregnancy. And it was a rough year. Yeah, Like a very, very rough year. And I got to this point where I was like, I was arguing with my CEO about the same commission five months later and was just like, I'm done. Like, I can't do this anymore and it's time to move on. Like, I didn't know what I was going to do. There was no idea when I walked out of that office that I was going to start my own company. And so unlike me, like, literally blew up and quit.

Wow.

Which is not me at all. No.

Blew up at my CEO and quit. Which was really not like me.

Right.

I'm.

But I had never felt so powerful or in my truth, at that moment.

So you walk out the door, you're like, well, what the fuck? I just quit now. What? Right.

I was so scared.

Sure. That was August. And in September, you built this business.

Yeah. I had started. I was interviewing. I started interviewing right away.

Sure.

And he did every job opportunity. And they were good ones.

Sure.

They were like, director of sales with base of 200k. And I'm like, like, what is wrong with me that I don't want to do this?

And I one day just was like, what if I just started a consulting firm and I started texting everyone I knew and was like, what would you think if I started my own business and it was an old co worker that was like, what if you made that Google Sheet that you have for forecasting into a software.

And I was like, would people buy that? He's like, fuck, yeah, people would buy that.

So it was a Google spreadsheet that you had in your head, how you would forecast sales for all these people that you worked for.

Yeah.

And decided, well, I guess this business is going to be a software business, not just consulting.

Yeah.

Okay.

Which is crazy.

That gives me anxiety. Just thinking, like, the word software and tracing, see, is like, I have hives.

And then. And that suggestion came in while I was in a Safeway parking lot, which I continued to stay in for two hours and write on the back of napkins and receipts, like, everything I wanted Perform to be, which at the time wasn't named Perform.

What was it named?

Oh, God, it's so bad. Hit it.

Because I was thinking, like, hit your goals, hit your quota. And the minute I told people, they were like, you cannot have that name.

I mean, I like it, but I get it. Yeah.

They were like, no, no, no, that does not work.

So you go from sitting in a Safeway parking lot writing all the things you want it to be on napkins and receipts to being the founder and CEO of Perform, which is, like I said, a $27 million company. But between January in 2020 and September of 2017, you've made some hard, expensive lessons. Right. In your very early days of perform, wasn't there like a huge, like, like, again, another man that you trusted?

Right, right. I had met this person in November of 2017.

And had, like, stayed in contact. They had given me advice. They were introduced to me by an ex boyfriend. And in November 2018, I signed a quarter of a million dollar contract with them.

Without having a lawyer look at it.

Which is a beautiful lesson.

Yes, a beautiful lesson.

And move my entire life from California to Dallas to work with this person. And within three months found out that it was basically a con.

And they had, at that point, 17% of my cap table.

What is that? For those that don't know what a cap table is?

So cap table is the percentage of your company. So they basically were guaranteed 17% of my company over three years.

Without a cliff, which means that there's no waiting period. Which is another beautiful lesson.

Yep.

And I had spent well over six figures on everything to get there and to hire them. Yeah, so, but.

And you didn't quit?

I think I wanted to.

Well, fuck, yeah, of course you did.

I really wanted to.

I went into, like, crazy hermit mode. I found out literally, like three days after my friends had left that were there for my birthday because friends had come in over the weekend for my birthday, and I felt so terribly alone all of a sudden. Like, I just had this great birthday weekend and, like, introducing my friends to this person.

Where he's picking up bills and acting like nothing's wrong.

So how do you recover from something like that? That's, like, devastating.

It took so much time.

I.

And I joke about it, but there was a moment in, like, late May where I literally was sitting on my couch and I don't know how long it had been since I left my apartment days, and was wearing, like, you know those Christmas pajamas you got three.

Years ago that are crusty from the food you've dropped on yourself for four days? Yeah, I get it. I've been there. I know it will.

It's May in Dallas, so I've turned down the AC so much that I'm literally in flannel pajamas with, like, blankets around me, which is. It's funny looking back, but there was this moment where I was like, I can't stay here. Like, I can't keep living here, and I'm so miserable, and I have to do something. So I decided to move back to my hometown, close to it, which is in the mountains by Yosemite. And it's just such a healing place for me.

So I did that, and I rented somebody's pool house. And literally, like, the plan was to, like, do yoga every day and, like, heal among the trees, and it was going to be this beautiful journey, which it wasn't. No, no.

It was good in theory, but.

Right. I had this, like, very idealistic plan.

But you got, like, this raging girl inside of you that's like, hell, no, we're not gonna do yoga. We need to get angry and make shit happen.

It took a little while for me to be angry, a lot longer than it normally would. I ended up hiring a coach, like, beginning of July.

2018, 2019.

Oh, shit.

All of this happened just recently. And the first time we ever talked about. He's like. I was driving to the gym, and he was like, I need you to pull over and just start screaming, fuck you. And I was like, I can't do that. Like, I'm not gonna do that. And he's like, you have to do it. He's like, you have to let the anger out. And I was like, well, I'm not angry. I'm just sad. And he's like, you're fucking angry.

And we worked together for a couple months every single week, to the point where I had to get back to a point where I was like, okay, I can be the CEO again. Like, I can run my company, and I can talk to VCs again without being so ashamed that I allowed this to happen, because I just. We were in the middle of raising around when all this happened, and I literally just ghosted on every VC we were talking to.

Wow.

Which, now that you know me, you know that that's not me at all.

The opposite of who you are.

Yeah. So it was. It was a lot of hard lessons.

But I look at it now, and I'm not angry anymore because I got to work all that out.

Mm.

And, you know, it's.

You might not have worked that out without that humiliating experience.

Probably not. And they were all lessons that I had to learn.

You know, I've told you about my good friend that I can't wait for you to meet. And just hearing your story, you guys have so much in common. Like, some of the same mistakes, all the things. And, you know, she made a very similar mistake early on that cost her millions. And, you know, she had shame around it, too, like you did. And I told her, and I'll say this to you, and I know you know this already, but, like, so much great gratitude in your heart that it happened in the very beginning of your business rather than, like, now with a $27 million kind of tag on it. So much like, what a beautiful thank God lesson.

I was able to walk away from that without getting my money back, which is okay now.

But get them off our cap table and.

Amazing.

Not get sued by them because they had done so much wrong. Um, it should have been. And I say should have, because the route that it takes to get somebody off your cap table is years.

Mm.

It should have taken two years, and they should still be on my cap table right now.

Well, there is somebody looking out for you, my love. That's for sure. So you get your shit together last year, and you're like, boss, babe, CEO who's worked with people like Mark Cuban. She's got. What is it? Ali Webb on speed dial. Like, you know all the people, and you're building this tech company, and, you know your product is something that isn't very expensive.

No.

And it's very simple. Like, in the grand scheme of things.

On those receipts were like, okay, let's build this for, like, all the things that you were humanly doing for all your clients, which is what made you so valuable to all of them. You created a software and a system that is automated, that does the power of millions of Megans put together?

We say it's like an automated sales consultant because it automatically tells you what each of your reps are doing and exactly what you need to give them for them to be successful. So we tell you what education they need, how many leads they need. Like, we will give you the exact numbers that you need to get to your quotas, which is something that doesn't really exist unless you pay somebody hundreds of thousands of dollars to come and be a consultant for you.

So that's incredible. And I'm still kind of like, how do you go from.

You said, like, I don't have an mba, like to run that kind of business corporation? Like, how do you organize your executive team? How do you know, like, who the right people are? How do you know, like, who to hire for human resources and shit like that. Like, you went from a year ago, like, crying over this betrayal to. You are the CEO and founder running a multi zillion dollar organization with hundreds of people probably at this point.

We have a team of 14 right now.

Oh my gosh, 14 people.

We're scaling by 50 this year, so we'll be at about 65 at the end of the year. I'm still figuring it out. I have an amazing VP of sales who is honestly the only reason that we didn't go bankrupt. While I had a breakdown, it was very much a breakdown, sure.

But he kept everything going and just stepped in and like, so how do.

You know you can trust him? Like, I'm sure there's times, you know, based on your experience and especially if he's a man at this point, right. And with your history and like, how do you know that this is somebody you can trust? Because I know for myself and other people that have gone through similar things, like, how do you not second guess yourself now?

I didn't know that I could trust him, but it almost didn't matter because I had already, by June, decided that I was losing the company. Like, that was what was in my head was like, you worked really hard and now it's gone. And I was so upset with myself and upset with this person that had conned me, but I couldn't see anything outside of that. And this person stepped in and just basically did it. I mean, I still was making decisions and like looking over finances and things like that, but day to day was all him.

So I was thinking about this, you know, when you know you've experienced what you've experienced. And this is, this is the area that I struggle with the most, too. And I think you and I are very similar in this. Like, flying under the radar is where we knew we were safe.

Oh, yes.

And I know it's the very thing that causes me to sabotage from time to time. It's the very thing that has me personally playing small from time to time. But when you don't even have time to realize what's happened in your business and company is $27 million, do you ever have that oh, fuck moment that I am no longer under the radar and I'm on high alert and I.

Need to hide so much? I am. There was a press release coming out in two weeks about our funding, and I, like, I was like, we don't need to do it. It's fine. Nobody needs to know.

Mm.

And it's just weird. It's this. And I said this yesterday. Like, I have been so comfortable being heard and not seen for so long. Being seen is not where I feel comfortable. Like, getting up in front of a room and teaching you guys was terrifying the entire time.

That clock could not have run out faster.

But it's this, like, it's all of a sudden, like, now I'm doing podcasts, and I committed to doing 20 of them, which is scary.

And I think there's still this fear that, you know, people will come in and try to sabotage it, because that's the story that I've told myself. When I have good things, when I work really hard, somebody else takes it, or it's not good enough, or they'll.

Take your best friend, or they'll take your knee that gets blown out, or they'll take your innocence from abuse, or they'll take, take, take. And I want you to know, like, I'm so proud of you and your courage and your bravery and just the fact that you walked into that room. You have an army of people, myself, at the helm, that love you and support you and will. Will be reinforcement when it. When you get scared because the world needs more of you, for sure. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna take that advice myself, too, whenever I. Because, I mean, we're very much alike in that, like, flying under the radar. Even though I hated it, it's what that part of me knows that that's. At least we're safe there, right? Right. Oh, my goodness. My love. So what's next for Megan? I know. Like, you know, because I asked you this, you know, why does somebody who has a $27 million company come into a mastermind all of a sudden, saying, and my Best friend that I was telling you about, like she did this. She's. Your stories are so like similar. And you know, she started building her personal brand 18 months ago and I said to you, like, why now? Like why do you. And you're like, I don't really know, but I'm just trusting this. And like I've said to her, I'm going to say to you, like, your story does need to be told and, and people do need to know who you are because you're beautiful and, and it's these kind of stories that you know, there's a girl that has gotten the shit kicked out of her several times and she doesn't know if she can take it one more time. And hearing you right here, right now, maybe she decides today that today is the day she picks up the phone and calls cps or she picks up the phone and calls the police, picks up the phone and said, that's not going to happen to my best friend, like it happened to hers.

And $27 million aside, it's that part of you that the world, I mean your brain and your business sense is so instinctual and beautiful and brilliant. And it's this part that makes that so much better. And so next time you want to hide, I'm going to come find you, I'm going to pull you out and we can wear our crusty Christmas PJs out to some five star dining facility or we'll just go have steak and whatever and just be crazy. But like, so this business, Perform does all this stuff that you used to do. Like, like I said, your company is basically like millions of Megan doing automated, crazy, amazing, high level service stuff for individuals, businesses, companies. So how can they, how can they get a taste of what this stuff does?

So perform dot com. You can sign up on your own. Super easy. It's just a subscription model. You can cancel anytime on your own. Which we made it that way on purpose. It's literally like a button to subscribe, a button to Cancel.

And it's 24.99amonth. So what do they get for that?

Because when you told me what, what it was, I was like, are you fucking kidding me?

Like what, what you get is our entire software which will forecast or predict your sales for the next 12 months. We'll track your sales. We tell you exactly what you need based on what you've already done. So we'll tell you, you need this many leads, this is what you do best. And this is the education track that we recommend for you. And then you have access to all of our education, which is over 100 hours of courses.

And it's all sales related. So based on their. So based on their data that your software kicks back to them, they'll say these courses are probably what you and your salesforce need to bring up these other numbers.

Well, and if you have a team, we actually tell you per rep. So it's not an overall team. It's. This is what you need for every single rep. Wow. And that's something you individually need.

You can't train people in herds anymore. Like I say this all the time. You have to train salespeople as humans, not as a herd. And so when you get to this data and it's really. You would pay so much for a consultant to come in and do this for you. But for us, it's $24.99 a user per month.

That's crazy. Like, you know, you and I have talked about the enneagram and that's exactly what I say. Like you can't. And somebody like me and somebody like you learn very differently. We have similar behaviors in a lot of ways, but our motivators are very different. The way that we show up is different. And I love that. Not only your software, but your sales course is very case specific to the individual, is so powerful. And you're right, like to pay a consultant to come in and try and navigate all that. It's near impossible. Girl, you are a problem solver, solution finder, relationship queen, lover of souls, beautiful human being, my dear friend. I'm so grateful that I met you. I'm so honored to call you friend and to learn from you and just soak up just all the greatness that you are. I hope you see that in yourself because my goodness, what a gift you are.

Thank you so much. I keep saying it. I love everyone in this group, but I just felt so connected to you immediately. So I'm just very, very grateful for you.

Our souls knew each other for sure. So where can they find you on the Instagram where she. I mean, girl, you guys think that I keep it raw and real. This girl is blowing the top off cults and abusers and like she's spilling all this shit and I freaking love it. Where can they find you to get all the the goods on that.

And then perform is perform Sales spell perform.

Because it's spelled a little different, isn't it?

It is spelled a little different because us tech people like to make things difficult. Of course it's P, E, R, F R M.

Sales dot com.

Oh, just P, E, R, F, R, M dot com.

Exactly. Tech people make everything complicated. And like, before we even hit record, I'm like, how do you say your company's name? Because it's. I think it's performed, but it's not spelled that way.

And because we're like, what can we actually trademark?

Exactly. I love it. I love it. My friend, I cannot wait to see where this journey takes you. You've got an army of us that just love, respect and care and will protect you and have your back always. So thank you for being here and being in my life.

Thank you.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you can find me on Instagram @traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become Bulletproof.

Sam.