73: Leading with light, love, and integrity with Natalie Ehmka

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos, an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up. Let's go.

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. And this is going to be a little bit different today, I think. I have no idea what's about to happen.

But if you have listened to me for any length of time, you have learned that I read and feel energy at the highest of level levels. And I've always been like that. Even as a little girl, I could feel a room. I could feel the people in the room. And you know, I knew what I needed to do in order to be safe, to do what I needed to do in the world. And for a long, long time, when I would feel strong energy.

There were times that I would lean into it if I felt that I could have control of it, if I'm being completely honest. And then as I have done my own healing work the last 20 years.

There have been moments where I walk into a room and I can feel the energy before I even see the people. And I can feel such depths. And not going to lie, it still happens. When I first feel it, it scares me.

Because I know that I'm about to be seen. And I got to say, there's probably only four people in the last 10 years that I have felt that from. And my guest today, Natalie Emka, is one of them. And if you know me at all, you know that's a big, powerful statement to say. Cause I don't like to be always seen sometimes. And at first I can come across as like guarded and like deer in the headlights and like, I don't trust you. And I've learned to lean into that. And even though my dear friend Natalie and I have not really had one on one time together, you know, we've always kind of been in a circle of people, but it's like I see you And I feel you and I love you. And I've felt that her and I know I received that from her as well. And so she is a leading expert. And you know, if you're into energy, you know, maybe even woo woo, I mean, it can come across as woo woo. But I'm here to tell you, like, energy is so not woo woo. It is like the real fucking deal. It is everything, I believe everything is about energy. I don't know how she feels about it, except that she is master. A master at what she does. I've seen her work a room like nobody else. I know what she does in my own energy. And it's always beautiful and it's always with love and light and especially right now, in a world of so much uncertainty, the beauty that she brings to it just in her presence and her love is something that I thought all.

Of you really could use.

And I know that I do. She's about to live coach me. I have no idea what's about to happen. We had a great little chat.

I think as leaders in the world, and especially those that output some energy when I'm coaching or, you know, presenting whatever gifts I've been downloaded to whomever I'm supposed to, It's a lot.

It's a lot.

And I've been shifting as well. Not just in business, but in my heart space, in my parent space, all the spaces that reside in this beautiful gift of a body that I've been given. And you know, I don't know what we're going to do, but we're going to see the master, hear the master. Natalie Onka in her element. She is a transformational speaker who I've listened to her and you cannot not be captivated by her. She is a trainer and energy coach to leaders and businesses and organizations and executives and influencers. And I love that. I think that bringing this into business is so freaking powerful, especially businesses that have a vision to bring nothing but the greatest good to the world, and especially right now. So her services, her gifts are needed now more than ever. And I know what she's about to do with me will allow me to step into something bigger that probably has been rumbling inside of me for a while. That is scaring me a little bit. I don't know, I might get emotional, I might get angry. Who the hell knows? But I trust her completely. And that says a lot. If you know me as an enneagram8, I know my Enneagram followers know what that means. I don't trust easily. And she's one of the very few that I would allow to do this without any prep. We have not talked about it. We kind of just said. And I know there's a lot of pressure, Nat, so I'm sorry about that. But.

I do trust my energy. My soul trusts hers. And so. And I know that a lot of times when we watch or listen to people get coached, we actually get more out of it than if we were coached ourself. And so I was talking to one of my dear friends yesterday.

A few of them about I've always kind of run into the wall.

Every obstacle I've. And I know this is going to resonate with a lot of you. I've always, any obstacle I face, I charge into the wall head first. And a lot of times I'll do that so those that come after me can just easily walk over the rubble.

And I think this might be one of those moments. And I'm learning to not have to go headfirst into the wall and beat myself up for the greatest good. But I'm not quite sure how to do that since it's mostly the only way I've ever done it. But this is one of those moments that I know this is a gentle, beautiful, loving wall that I'm about to face right now with her. And if you can gain something from it, then so be it. So with that being said, my dear friend Natalie, thank you. Thank you for being here with me today.

Wow. Thank you. That intro was an exercise in receiving, if I've ever heard. So thank you. Thank you so much for your words and for allowing me in and bringing me here to this space.

So how'd you get started? Before we dive into anything that you feel called to do, I like I said, I trust you and whatever you feel called to do, where I'm open to it. But how did you even get into this? This is something that, like, you don't come out of the womb saying, you know, I'm going to be this energy coach and all of that. Right. So how does Natalie become this powerhouse, like in the most loving and light filled way?

Great question. Let's see. I started studying energy. Really, I would say the first time I stepped on a stage, which was about in sixth grade, I started perceiving what audiences responded to. I was fascinated with the science of listener attention. I did not know that that's what it was called, but I was paying attention to the humans and kind of how people responded to presentation. And I was really studying human behavior. So I continued with my Speaking career up into high school, into college. I did all these speaking competitions and was recruited to join ASU Arizona State University speech team. So I continued my speaking into the college years. Halfway through college, I had an experience where I really saw the darkness in the world, and I decided to start speaking about it, to start speaking out about it. I was speaking out about sexual assault before it was a thing. I actually abandoned my speaking competitions, and I started to speak while I was still in college in schools. And that is also when things really started to open up for me around studying energy, because I started to pay attention to what I was offering and my story and kind of what the energy I was leading with and how that was having a response of people. And it really was, you know, moving people to action, which was really powerful at that time. I led. I also, at this time, was studying journalism. So I was in the broadcast journalism world, too, again studying energy. And I chose to move into motivational speaking as a career and training because I didn't want to be around the news industry because it was so negative. So, again, I'm spending energy. My bosses were literally saying, natalie, if it bleeds, it leads. It bleeds, it leads. You know, you got to be in this. In this, you know, in this industry knowing that. And I went, well, see you later. I'm going to go and motivate people. Little did I know I was. I was doing it from also kind of a heavy, dark space, but I didn't have that awareness yet. So I continued on the speaking thing. I was doing it with this organization for a little while, and then I got laid off when the market crashed in 2008. And I found myself sitting there in 2009 trying to figure out what the heck I was going to do with my life. And I was getting all these calls from schools that were still saying, like, hey, we know, you know, you're not with that organization. Can you still speak? Sure. Okay. So I started my first LLC in 2010, and thankfully, right around then is when I also found my first spiritual teachers and my first coaches and teachers of human behavior. So I started to study that alongside of my speaking career. And I remembered one of my teachers saying to me in the very beginning, she said, this thing you're doing right now about speaking and training, you're not going to be leaving with that forever. And I was like, what are you talking about? I'm helping the world. I'm changing people's lives. I'm sharing my story so that other people don't have to Go through it. You know, I was kind of in that energy of like, what are you talking about? A lot of ego. A lot of ego. And she said, just wait, just wait, just wait. My national career took off in 2011. I was doing a lot of speaking and training, coaching on a grand scale, training women on how to protect themselves, things like that. And I was also experiencing a lot of wobbliness. So thankfully, I still had my teachers and people helping me along the way of studying human behavior in a big way. And I'll never forget this pivotal moment where I was standing in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. I was traveling, and I was speaking a lot in schools and organizations, and I was standing in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. And I remember going up and out of my body for a minute and watching myself speak to this group of people. And the words that came out of my human mouth in that moment were, what happens to you in life doesn't have to define you. And I watched myself say that. And then I thought, well, then why am I defining myself by this thing that happened to me? What the heck? And I realized I was totally out of integrity. And I realized I wasn't wanting to speak anymore. So what I didn't know, and this is something that feeling, like I should say right now, is something I help leaders with. Right now is I, your gift is right up against your greatest wound. And so my gift was speaking and training and coaching. But I didn't know.

Like, everything that I knew about energy and, like, you know, my human stuff. And I hadn't healed all of my wounds around that. And so my gift kind of got captured by my ego. And I was about 5 degrees off, which is what my teacher was telling me back in the day. She said, you're not going to be training and coaching on this. Exactly. You're kind of leading with a different energy than you really want to be leading with. And what I didn't realize is I was leading with the dark. I was leading with this negative thing that happened, but I was trying to inspire people through it, and it was kind of working. But at the end of my days, I wasn't feeling inspired. I didn't feel like I was leading with this energy that I wanted to be leading with. So I listened to my intuition when it said I needed to stop speaking for a little while. So I did. I went way back. I took a step way back. I threw my energy into another business. People told me I was crazy to stop speaking, but I just said, you know what? I don't Know why? I've had a good run. Ten years as a speaker.

I'm out.

I'll see you later. And they were like, okay, you're nuts. I didn't care. I just knew that I couldn't keep doing what I was doing. I was out of integrity. So I worked with my teachers, and I worked with more coaches, and I figured out what was going on. I figured out why I was leading with the dark, what was going on. I didn't trust my light, which is something that I think is important to talk about right now, especially with leaders who are shifting into more of a strong leadership standpoint at this time, you're stepping into your light in a big way. And for a long time, for a lot of reasons, we haven't always led with the light. We kind of led with the drama. We led with the old story. We led with this darker energy. And I say dark, I don't necessarily mean evil. I mean areas where there's not light. You know, areas that are not yet illuminated or not yet of the highest intention. And even though I thought it was at the time, I was still kind of in this space of, like, trying to get accolades and trying to make what happened to me make sense. You know, that was a big part of it. I was trying to make it make sense, and I was trying to get justice for what had happened to me. And it was. The energy was tied up into what I was doing, so I had to unravel that, unravel that. Plus, I mean, I say this with love now. I was literally getting paid to do it. So talking about the ultimate validation, you know, totally. We're like, here you go. Engage in your ego story for a living. Okay, cool. You know, so I was. Anyway, so that brings me to about 2015. I took a major step back and threw my energy into another business. And that's when my gifts came online. So my gifts started to come online because I'd done so much human unraveling, I started to realize, oh, okay, I can see things. I can hear things. These spiritual gifts started to land on mine, but they did. So I believe, because I had kind of made space for them, you know, I made space for that to happen. So then I found other mentors to really help train me on what was going on so I could articulate what was happening.

So 2017, I reemerged as a speaker again, as a leadership speaker this time, and coaching followed. Shortly thereafter, people started hiring me. I went and got an official certification. So I have several certifications now. Being certified and I work with businesses and eventually sold the other business in 2018. And now I do this 100% of the time, full time. I work with businesses, I work with leaders all over the globe. I do work with high vibe businesses who know they're here bringing high vibe, and they're bringing light and energy to the world that is needed right now. And I help the leaders get strong. I help them get less wobbly, you know, because that's kind of what I was. I was. I was leading, but I was doing it from a wobbly place. So I help leaders now, you know, realign. We do the work to strengthen their human container so that their light can move through them easily to the world, you know, in flow and with love, and have the impact you want it to have. And that's the other thing, you know, leaders are. Everybody's already having an impact, whether you know it or not. It's just a matter of what kind of an impact do you want to be having and are you having? And I help leaders really tune into that. There's a lot of different metaphors that will probably come out during our time here together. But I help leaders understand that not only are you sending out a ripple, you're also on the receiving end of a lot of energy as well. And that could be affecting you and how you're showing up and things like that. So there's two ways I really work with people, one on one. One is an ongoing.

Ongoing coaching container where we work together once a week. And I call those energetic chiropractic adjustments. Help leaders. I love that, you know, you identify with this term because I help leaders, you know, get more like, aligned. And sometimes it's two to three degree shifts that can get you in an entirely different place over some time and distance. And then I also do probably part of what we're going to do today, which is a deep dive. So you can book 90 minutes of just me coming into your field and using my gifts to help articulate what's going on. Because that's really the term we call myself a coach. Yes. But I also really just translate. I translate energy for you so that you already feel it again. You feel it, people feel you. But I'm able to use my ability to kind of access the words to help translate what's going on. So I'm fluent, actually heard those words. I was in training for about eight years and I heard at the end of 2018 from my team, you're fluent now. Go. And I was like, oh, cool. Thank you. Like, I felt finally fluent so I could speak it. So now I know what's going on, and now I train other people on that too. But what we're going to do today is a little bit more, I think, of a kind of a deeper surgery type energy where I, like, literally come in and kind of help, like, adjust. But I mean, we'll see. We'll see what flows and hopefully I'll be able to, like, talk about what I'm doing when I'm doing it too. So that way people can hear and get and understand some of these dynamics. Because you are already. Here's a mini energy read coming for you. You are already a leader, which means people identify with you for lots of reasons and are therefore probably experiencing some of the same energetic dynamics that you are. So hopefully this will help people and send out that ripple. And I have a feeling it will, because that's already who you are. You've actually already turned over your life to the life of service and to help, which means you've given permission for the highest to work through you. And those are the type of leaders I love to work with. Because, you know, you're bringing transformational energy down to the planet, especially at this time. And that energy, I mean, a lot of leaders say, well, it's not about me. I agree, it's not just about you, but it's kind of about you. Because people, the human brain, because we're in bodies, we have human brains, the human brain needs a place to connect the energy so people feel you. And then they connect it back to Tracy and they're like, oh, Tracy said this. Oh, Tracy made me feel this way. Tracy, you know, brought this beautiful experience to the world for us because the brain needs a place to connect it. So that's what I do. I bring energy down. But people say, oh, you know, Natalie taught me this. Well, the energy that moved through me did. And this is for all leaders. But again, because we're in a body, we have to. We have to acknowledge that people are responding to it as it's moving through you. Right?

We're like the conduit, right?

Yes, exactly.

No, and I. I'm sure you get this too, like, every once in a while, you know, just what we do is just like, it's not me, but it is me, you know, the whole thing. Right? And like, oh, my gosh, you've changed my life. I'm like, listen, no, I was just the facilitator of what was being downloaded to me to process, to view and that's all this is. And I take that responsibility very seriously. Like, like we talked about earlier. It's not like we're driving down the road and saying, hey, guess what, guess what? I just felt. So.

Yeah, yeah. Integrity is everything. Doing this with integrity is everything.

Because everything.

There's so much going on on the planet right now. It's not an integrity. And there's a lot of, there's. I keep calling this year this phrase that came was integrity overhaul. 2020 leaders are going through an integrity overhaul, meaning you're being asked to shed, you're being asked to release. And for leaders, it looks like doing all the things that you can to be the clearest conduit of the light. Especially if you're wanting to help, you know, especially if you're a coach or a trainer in, or you're leading people in the transformational process, your work is 100% about getting as clear as you can.

Very much so. Very much so. Wow. Okay. So for all of you guys listening right now, I know you're already like, okay, I need this woman in my life. You can find her on instagram @ Natalie Emka E H M K A so definitely just screenshot this right now so you can find her because you're going to want to find her. Um, like I said, I, I've done energy work. I've felt my energy from the time I was a little girl, but specifically, like I have, I know the moment at nine years old when I was like, wow, this is powerful. And over the last eight years, I've really allowed energy workers to speak through me and help translate a lot of what I've felt but couldn't make sense of. And I, and you know, part of why I believe her and I have been connected is I, I'm having a hard time translating and I'm very, very insightful. I am very self aware. I am very in integrity in everything I do. And I'm having a hard time translating what's going on and I'm guessing that's probably part of why we're here together today, specifically. Is that what you're feeling.

Too? Yeah. Yes, yes. I kind of had a feeling this was gonna happen, so I'm trusting it. I'm trusting the flow. So if you'd like, I can go in. There's something. There's one more thing I say and then there's some messages coming for you already. You're, you're part of. And everybody who's resonating with this message right now is part of what I call the World Changer Collective. And you are here to help bring change to the planet right now. And you're here to help be what, one of my teachers. The phrase one of my teachers coined is an energetic EMT for the planet. You're here to bring a different energy. You're here to bring a positive energy, a positive light, you know, so doing the work to protect your field, to protect your vibe, protect your energy is also in the highest integrity right now. It's the most important thing we can do so that we can help, because you are seeing things the way you're seeing them for a reason. You're supposed to be seeing things differently. So trusting and protecting Your energy is 100% what we're supposed to be doing right now too. So thank you for allowing me in to help right now as well. Um, yeah. And let's go. There's some stuff coming for you, so I'm ready to. I'm ready to dive in if you.

Are. Let's roll, Ivy. Okay, I'm.

Ready. Okay. So. Yeah, you are. With love, I can feel so much energy expanding. A little bit of tightness, but a lot. What's really happening here and how I would translate this is that your heart space is shifting and opening big time. I can feel that there are moments where, because there's a head and heart connection that is. That's being solidified for you, because I can feel there's moments where when you don't understand what's happening, you kind of freak and intentionally tense back up. It's actually an old trauma response that's still trying to leave. And so with love, I say that your heart is just being expanded right now in a big way. And I can feel the tightness. And even as I'm saying this, I'm tuning in, and I can feel that, yeah, taking a deep breath is a really huge thing for you. You need to breathe more is the number one thing I'm hearing right away. You need to breathe deeper, breathe more and breathe deeper. And that's actually of service right now too, on the planet, as we are battling global pandemic that is a respiratory.

Issue, respiratory illness, virus. Breathing right now is also one of the highest services we can offer and sending love to that. Anyone who's dealing with that or any awareness you have of that virus is sending a different frequency to it. Because a lot of people, when they hear the words, it freezes them. You know, they freeze, then they immediately stop breathing. When you freeze it, the freezing on your energetic field Causes you to stop moving and stop breathing. So intentionally sending energy to your breath and energy and love to that will help. So I say this because you're not the only leader going through this right now. You know, breathing deeper and your heart space expanding. So with love. Yeah. As soon as I said that, it shifted. So you're very fast. I love working with you already because you're very fast. You're very fast. As soon as I said that, I can feel it went shoom and you shifted. And also others listening, I'm sure are breathing differently now too. So I can feel. That is my point. I can feel that right now. So yay. Thank you for being conduit for that message because that was an important one that needed to come out.

Two, then the next thing. And I have this information only because you told me a little bit of what's going on. So normally when I work with people, they have to tell me what's going on. Quick side note, let me explain that for a second because when I tune in, when I tune in to work with people, I tune into your team. I tune into your highest self, your guides, your teachers, your healers, your people that are around you. You know, hopefully most people listening to this identify with the understanding that you are a soul having a human experience. Here, as said perfectly and beautifully by Wayne Dyer, you're a soul having a human experience. So therefore, you have help. Especially if you're a leader that's at all intuitive. You have help. You have help. You have help. Just saying that again and again, you have help. So with love, there's a lot of energy around you that's trying to get through to you. So, so many times I hear leaders say, oh, my gosh, like I'm trying to ask my team for help. And I don't know, I can't hear it or whatever. But a lot of times we're not being very specific with our team. We're not saying, hey, here's what I need help with, here's what's going on. Because they hold the whole big picture because they're not in a body. So your team is going to hold your angels, your masters, your people around your energies around you. They're not people, their energies around you. They're holding the whole big picture, which means they hold all the possibilities. They hold all the soul contracts. They can see everything. Imagine them looking at the whole globe and you're going, I need help. And they're like poised at the ready and they're like, how? How do I help? Okay, what do you need help with exactly? So tell me. So these deep dives and what I do energetically for people is I come in and I ask to be a clear connection, a clear conduit of the energy for you. And we need human Tracy to say, here's what's going on, so that your guides know what's going on, and they can go, oh, that's what she's seeing. Imagine it like in the days before we had maps on our cell phones and we would get lost. We'd call our friend and we'd go, hey, I don't know where I'm going. I'm kind of lost. I lost my way. Can you help? The first thing your friend would say is, great. What do you see? Right in front of you? And so then they could go, oh, okay, you're at this statue. Take a left. Da, da, da, da, da. It's like that when we work with our team and our guides again, because they hold the whole big picture. So it's really important to say, hey, here's what's going on. I don't know. I can't make sense of this. And then your team goes, shoom. Okay, here we go. They laser focus in. Does that make.

Sense?

100%. Okay, great. So the reason I'm able to kind of read her right now a little is because, a, she let me in to her field, and B, she told me, like, literally two things. She told me one thing before we started, which was like, hey, I'm having this weird pain in my neck and the top of my head and, like, you know, the back of my neck. And so immediately, messages come for that as soon as you let me in and give me permission. So messages come for that, and they're like.

They're showing me what's going on. So, okay, so to translate this, this is what. I'll probably have you talk a little bit more about this here in a minute because that helps move the energy as well. But there's a big. There's a big shifting of letting control. Letting go of control for you right now. Humongo. Like, huge. And it's like. They're showing me, like, it's like a veil that's trying to leave. There's a part of you with love that keeps grabbing it, trying to put it back down on you because you're like, no, no, no, this is safer. And they're going, no, no, no, no, it's got to go. It's got to go. And it's trying to leave, actually, through the top. Through the top half of your body is what they're showing me. So with love, there's a reason that it's kind of up here in your chest and in your head. There's a head heart thing happening because you've already kind of surrendered down below, if that makes sense. Your lower energy chakras, you surrender to flow. You surrender to the fact that you're here to be your leadership. You know, feels good in the sacral chakra, but it's like, up here now, it's like heart, voice. I can feel a little bit of that, like, as I say it, and head in control.

Yeah. So there's a lot of letting go of control. So when you said. You said something earlier, you said, like, I need to know what's going on, or having trouble translating it immediately. What I heard was, no, I'm having trouble letting go of the control around this and surrendering to that. Because you're being expanded and all leaders are right now. We're all being expanded right now to be of more service. And so for you, it looks like this shedding of the veil that's, like, kept you a little bit smaller, quote, unquote, which is funny because you're not actually small, but it's like they're showing it to me like a little pod that was around you that kind of was containing your energy. You're like, oh, I can contain my energy. I can control the ripple. I can control what comes in. I can control what goes out. And now, with love, a lot of that is trying to leave your team is literally like, carrot. Give us the sheet. Like, give us the pod. They're, like, trying to let it go, and there's a party that's, like, trying to hold on. What happens for you when I say.

That?

Well, first of all, I'm sure you're sweating. I throw off a lot of.

Heat. I throw off a lot of.

Heat. Especially when it's like, okay, and I can feel, like, the heat going up my neck. And you nailed it.

The very clear message, especially the last week or so. And I, like, I've had four instances in my life where I see very clearly what's about to happen. And it did make sense. I believed it, but it didn't make sense. Like, how the hell is that gonna happen? But I believed it, and sure shit, it happens. And about three years ago, when I was kind of sitting in recliners with, you know, my own health crisis and, you know, the season of silence was kind of put on me and I had nothing to do but kind of sit there. I saw very clearly what you just said, the shedding of the veil, the.

The. I love that you said this way, like the playing small. Because I know to some people and those of you listening, like, I'm not playing small. To those of you listening or those that have known me and what I've done and seen me speak and like, in your mind, you're like, shame playing small. You guys have no idea how small I have been fucking playing. And I know this because exactly what you said, it scares me. Like, I know what happened in just this little bit of growth that you guys all see. And because it happened so fast and so instinctively, I didn't have time to think about the repercussions of being exposed and being vulnerable would have on me. And although it is for the greatest good and everything I do is for the greatest good, it also scares me because then. Then I can't control. And. And because. And this is. This is. This will be really good for you to hear and maybe make sense of, because this is where my struggle is, is I love being in the trenches with people and I love transformation. And I am concerned that where I see this very clearly from three years ago, and it keeps, like, it's very clear how big this gets for me and how.

Small I have been playing.

That. How can I facilitate transformation at a grander scale if I'm not still in the trenches?

And being low to the ground and in the rubble is what I know and how I know how to facilitate change, not just in myself, but with other people, while conserving my energy, while being able to be the introvert that I am, while being able to fly under the radar. Because growing up, my experience was if you use your voice, if you shine too bright, you get hurt. And so I could do just enough to move my needle forward to be safe, to not rely on anybody. But the minute I felt like I was exposed or there could be a vault, I could be blindsided or a vulnerable situation or people would want too much for me, I could fly back under the radar and be out of sight, out of mind. And that's where I'm at, is like that in every area of my life, even not just work and transformation.

Even in my own heart space, quite honestly.

Does that make.

Sense? Yes. And thank you for sharing all that and thank you for going there. Something pinged when you said I don't know how to help people if I'm not down in the trenches with.

Them.

Because. Yeah, because like, when I was oblivious to. It's kind of like what's happening in the world right now. Like, I don't pay attention, not because I'm putting my head in the sand at all. I'm very, very energetically aware of what's happening in the world, but I don't have to have it in my energetic space to understand it, and I don't have to have all this stuff coming at me to be able to do something about it. And when I was really, about 10 years ago, really leaning into my own integrity and masks come off and this is who I am, I was in the trenches with people, and I didn't realize the compound effect of that change of helping one people. And the next thing I know, you know, hundreds of thousands of people are now, like, paying attention to what I'm doing. And there was some backlash from that. Like, oh, she doesn't get us anymore, because look at her up there or over there. Like, how can she relate to. How can she relate to what I'm going through if she's up there?

Right? And that's why I do lead from the dark a lot of the time. So that they do know that. I. I get it. I get it. But it's hard to make the ch. Like, it's like this conflict, this internal tug of war, like, to make the impact that I want to. People need to know who the fuck I am. But at the same regard, those are gonna say. But then we can't relate to her. How can she possibly know? So when I speak of the dark, it isn't to stay in the dark. It's to, like you said, be that connector of it. If that makes.

Sense.

Yep. And we. Yes. Okay, perfect. So we send a lot of love to what you have done and how you've operated. This is why this. Your whole energetic system is being literally rewired right now. And that's what's scary to you too, because that has worked. Okay? So it's like rewiring a house right now. That has worked. Worked. We're literally rewiring. That has worked. We send love to it. But the lights are needing to get brighter now. Therefore, the system needs to be rewired. So right now, let's look at why, again, the systems need to be rewired. Why we're. You know, why we need to be brighter. Because there's an intense war going on right now between light and dark, between, you know, the highest and between control manipulation stuff. So leaders. Oof. I'm getting chill as I Say this. Are being asked to amplify their light. Okay. So there's a literal rewiring happening for you. And I love that this is happening. This analogy is coming out for you because it's perfect.

Because that has worked. That has allowed you to lead until now. Now you're being asked to shift to a higher vibration because. Thank you. Everybody who is like everyone else is ascending with you. Okay. And that's important for you to know. Not only are you ascending, everyone else is trying to ascend with you. And they need to know that it's okay to completely shed, release the old. And.

They don't need you to come. Thank you. They don't need you to come into the trenches anymore because they're not as much in the trenches. Okay. Does that make sense, especially for those people you're meant to lead and work with? I say this with love. It's going to be shifting. It's going to be shifting a little bit too, because the consciousness is rising on the planet, so we can't not participate. Consciousness is rising on the planet, therefore your clientele is going to shift. Your people are going to shift that are attracted to you. As your light gets brighter, your meant to continue to raise and shift. Therefore, we lovingly release the old patterns and the things that are going. But even that fear is old. You know, like that fear of like, oh, I'm going to get hurt. I'm going to hurt. Yes. It may feel real. It doesn't actually exist right now here in this plane for you. I've not said it like this in this way before, but it doesn't exist in this plane anymore because people that are getting quote, unquote hurt are not the ones that are with their working 100% in integrity with the light. Does that make.

Sense? Yeah. And the thing is, like, I'm not afraid of actually getting.

Hurt. Okay?

Okay. Because I know how to operate when I'm hurt. And that might be the problem. The problem is because I only know how to operate when, you know, when it's in the wreckage and I'm buried and. And that. So I'm not afraid of.

That.

It's. I'm afraid of my own light. I am. I am afraid of my own.

Light. I see this all the time because it goes to that Marianne Williamson, quote, her greatest fear is not that you are inadequate, but powerful beyond measure. And therefore we things to dissipate our light. And I call it a misappropriation of your energy and your light. So let's go in here for a Second, because the door is wide open. It's cracked, actually. It's cracked. And we're gonna. We're gonna. We're gonna ping it open a little bit more. So tell me, what. What are you afraid of with regard to your light or about your.

Light?

In what area of my life, there's a few different.

Areas.

Let's pick. Let's pick the work, I feel. Because that was what came up right when you said leaning on stages from that particular energy. Let's go there for just two seconds if you want. You choose, though. You're driving the.

Car. No, that's like, why am I afraid of my light?

I think there's a. Like, do I really know what I'm talking about? Like, am I. Do I really? And it's that, like, pump the brakes, because I think that that's like my own subconscious saying, this isn't safe. That's that little part of me, that little Tracy and me saying, yeah, but you know what happens when you speak up? You know, you're not credible. You're told you're better seen than heard.

You know, you get rejected the more that you step into that. And, you know, I. Cognitively, I've been okay with that. I completely have shed and released with love, lots of people, including a lot of family. And it's still a grieving process. Yeah, there's that head, heart thing. So when it comes to work.

I think part of me thinks the more I step into the light, the more even alone I'll be. And I've always kind of been a lone wolf, but how can. Like, if I step into that light, how can. Who's going to be.

There? Yeah. Okay, I'm going to pause you for right now because that's. This is. This is part of the big shift that leaders are going through right now, too. Yes.

The reason that you're sensing that, the reason you're feeling that is because leadership has looked like that in the past. Leadership is completely shifting now here, especially in 2020, but it's going to continue to shift. And I was shown this in a beautiful image from my team and our guides, and they said, you have to let go of what you thought leadership looked like, because leadership used to look like person on the front of the stage and.

People in the audience. And I know this, and I know that because I went through this and here's my expertise. Okay. That's the way leadership used to look. And my team lovingly said, you're going to have to shift some of that because leadership, I'VE talked about this like twice today too already. The leadership is shifting to more of a circle type energy now in that leaders are taking their place, consciousness is rising on the planet, and people are realizing, oh, yeah, I'm no better than or worse than anyone else. I don't have any more knowledge than anyone else. I actually just have different knowledge than everyone else, which is the shift from good, you know, better than worse than to just different. And this is radical compassion because we're no longer seeing things through the eyes of judgment, like, oh, I'm better than or worse than you, or I've had this experience and you haven't. I'm now seeing it through. Oh, that's just different. That's just different than how I want to be. And radical compassion we lovingly can apply to everything in the world right now. Nothing is good or bad or right or wrong. It's just different than the vibration that you actually are attuned to all the time, which is why it feels dry, which is why it feels different. But with regard to leadership right now, we're sensing and tuning into the fact that we're actually all equal here on the planet. All leaders are we just maybe, you know, having different pillars and maybe, you know, some might be steadier pillars in the circle than others and that they're leading, maybe have had a little bit different experience or they're leading a little bit more strongly right now than someone else, but doesn't mean that someone else is leadership abilities to lead themselves and others are not, you know, coming online and are not also going to have gifts to give. And so I say all this to say leadership is shifting from person on stage with people in the audience to everyone's in a circle and we're all one. And so the way that people.

Have come out, hallelujah, I love that. That actually excites.

Me. I know. And so when you say I'm afraid of my light, I feel like a lot of leaders are afraid of.

That. They're afraid of, you know, taking their place in the circle and sitting down and going, I don't know everything, but I know some stuff I'm afraid, you know, I mean, you could tell me what you're afraid of, but I feel like this is shifting us into more being, more togetherness, which is why I get excited because world changers are finding each other now. More and more people are connecting together in the light. We had to emerge out of the dark ourselves to come into the light, to take a space in the circle too. And Go, oh, okay. I'm afraid of X, Y, and Z. And someone else going, shoot, me too. And someone else going, oh, I used to be afraid of that, but now this is happening, and so it's shifting differently. I don't know if this is still making sense here in this particular part of the conversation, but I'm seeing it as such that, like, there's a party that's, like, I don't know how connection will still happen if I'm in this place. Does that resonate? Is that making.

Sense? That's it. Because I've worked so hard to open myself up and let people see me, and I really have. I've been seen more. I think that's why instead of running from you, I was like, yes. Like, the four people that have come in my life, the only four of you that I felt that energy, like I said, you're one of them that I could feel, like, see all of me, like, without all the bullshit, without all the yay trace and all that bullshit. Like. Like, you see me. And because I've opened myself to that, I really don't want to lose that connection piece. And I think there. I love hearing that it's becoming more in the circle because that's how I love it. Like, I would love to be like that all.

Day. Same, same. Be vulnerable all day. Yeah, it's uncomfortable, but it's actually getting more and more comfortable because everyone else is doing it too. So it's kind of like. That's also kind of. I mean, from the leadership standpoint, but it's still uncomfortable. You just get a little smoother at making the choice to be uncomfortable. Does that make sense? Like, fucking.

Day. It was way easier to be shooting back whiskey and oblivious to all. Like, it was way easier than like, saying, I invite in. Like, every morning, I invite in, like, whatever needs to come up. Whatever emotions, feelings, memories need to come up. I am open to receive if it's for the greatest good in the calling in which you have on my life, all of it. And that doesn't mean it's always comfortable. And also, that also means inviting in the light and the joy that I have suppressed by the darkness for so long. That also means bringing in the beautiful stuff, too, that I've suppressed because I was on guard all the time and had to be on my game all the time. I thought.

Right. Mm.

Yes. Okay. So there's a lot of energy right here, which is so. Because my little earpods just died. So we're just gonna keep going with this. So I didn't hear the last two things you said, but I'm. But can you repeat that last part for one sec? Just so I have an idea.

What I'm feeling, I said something along the lines of.

I've invited in all the memories. Like, every morning, I intentionally ask for whatever emotions, memories, feelings need to come up so I can step to the greatest good in the calling in which you have on my life to the divine. And that also includes the really positive things because. Because I've come from such hard places, I think I also have guarded myself from allowing joy to come in and love to come in, because I'd always wait for the other shoe to drop, too. So really allowing myself to experience the joy that I've had in my life. Because obviously I've had joy. I mean, I've got 48 years here. It wasn't all shit for me to be who I am, right? And so really taking all of that in and.

It'S still uncomfortable. All of it's.

Uncomfortable.

Yeah. And I love all of.

It. Love that we're talking about this. This is so freaking important for leaders to get and understand, too. Especially people working with the light, you guys, because it doesn't get. It's like that quote. It doesn't get easier. You get stronger or you get better.

The discomfort doesn't go away. You just get smoother. When your energetic field smooths out, you get smoother, meaning you get a little faster. And making the choice to get uncomfortable, which is what happened here with you and I today, you're faster. You're way faster now. Making the choice to get uncomfortable. Now we do have to watch some of it because like you said, there is a part of you that has always done that because it's kind of like what you trained yourself. Once you started to grow and shift, we got to go in this door for a second because it's cracked. I love you here for two seconds because there's a party that has.

You've trained yourself. I literally am seeing an image of you running, like, with a helmet on now. Like, running like Sonic the Hedgehog into shit. I love you, but, oh, my God. This is part of why your head is sore. Because your neck and your head have gone through so much actual.

Like, reverb, you know, from this. Do you feel that when I say that? I'm watching you, so I can see this is landing. But you feel that when I say that, my.

Love? Yeah. I was speaking to my best friend this morning about this very thing because I basically explained it like this. My son used to play football and the way that he would as a, as a linebacker, he would ram into people. And that is exactly how my neck feels. And she said, basically what you do is you. You plow into things and then lay your body over the hole so people can just step on you and over you and you make their life that much easier by taking the hits. Like you're on the fucking front line with a helmet on. Yeah. Like going in. Like I'm about to take out the entire offensive.

Line.

Yes. And yeah, that is how my head feels pretty much all the time right.

Now. And let's go in here and go further into this. Why? Why have you done that? Slash two part question, why has that.

Worked? I think early on in my life, it was a way that I could not get blindsided. I think that it also, like, in some ways it let me have control and not rely on anybody else for my.

Safety. It's ironic though, because it's not. It wasn't. It was you, like running.

In control into the out of control type scenario. Right. That's this little twisted up ego thing. Sorry, keep.

Going. Correct. Like in one way it was like, well, if I handle it, then I don't have to rely on anyone ever to either keep me safe or to provide or you fill in the blank of whatever that.

Means. Yeah, it was a big middle finger to world and to others.

Yeah. I mean, the very people that were supposed to keep me safe didn't. So it was easy. And yes, it is very.

Unknown.

But at least I had control of it. At least. At least in.

Theory. Okay, so this is gonna, this is deep. We're going.

In.

Okay. But I have to say this. So it was also a little bit of a middle finger to God.

For.

Sure. For sure. Because at nine years old, it was very like that moment at nine years old where I was very, very much told, like, this is all going to matter. This will all make sense. And then for the next 30 years.

It was like, how much more of a lesson do I need to learn to have this all make sense and matter for something, if that makes sense. And that's probably when my drinking picked up, when my, you know, codependence, my anger, it's like, okay, I explain it like this. Like, I've always had faith. I've always believed in God of my understanding and the divine. I always have. And I have always felt, even in my most alone moments, that I wasn't alone. And it's like, okay, God, I'm Dealing with the cards you dealt me. But then when it would get just a tad bit uncomfortable or I thought it could go a better way, or I knew a better way, it's like, okay, God, I'm going to take those cards you just dealt me and put them in my back pocket and bring out my self will cards and start playing those. And it never ended well until about eight years ago is like, okay, I will play whatever cards you deal me. But there still is that tendency.

Very subtly, but not so subtly where I will charge head on into stuff or honestly, I've kind of swung the other direction where I'll just like hold back.

As my nephew, as my middle.

Finger, I was going to say it's still the fu. Energy. This is where we need to go in. This is the biggest, biggest thing, the biggest wound. So when you said you don't trust your light, it's really that. It's really. I don't trust God to work through me fully and cleanly and clearly as much as I know is possible.

And.

That'S hard to admit because.

I know, I was just gonna say take. I know, I know I was just gonna say. But you're right, there's a tiny, there's a tiny tinge of it still there. So you're probably at like 98%, but this tiny tinge and do you.

Want to know, want to know where this all gets twisted is when I trust God most is when there's chaos. So it's like, how can I manufacture that faith without the chaos?

How can I exercise that? And I do. Like, I surrender 99% of the time. But this next scary thing that I know is really the calling that God has always had, even on that bike as a nine year old and even in those hard moments, you know, that followed. How do I step in and surrender in that faith without the chaos? Because when it's in chaos, I have no problem stepping into it and surrendering without blowing shit up. Blowing up, you know, my love, blowing up my kids, blowing up my house, blowing up my financial walls, blowing up everything that I've leaned into God for.

So how do I lean into and surrender to that without the chaos?

That's my problem. Because that's how I operate. In.

Faith. Yeah. Oh, and with love. It's time for you to surrender the chaos for yourself because.

The plan is in chaos. So we need you to be as stable as possible. We need other leaders to be as sturdy as possible and give up the attachment to drama because the planet's in enough Drama as is. They need you clear. God needs you clear. Your team needs you clear. And you have so much that is trying to move through you. And that was almost like a little mini distraction, this, like, chaos creation game. It was like a mini distraction that distracted from your light. It was almost like I'm seeing an image now of you shining really brightly but almost being like, yeah, don't pay attention to that here. Pay attention to the, like, you know, kind of bringing the veil just a bit a little over your head. And people are like, wait, no. They're like, literally seeing people going, wait, wait, no, wait. We wanted a little bit more of that. Because you make sense right now when everything is massively chaotic on the planet. There's darkness everywhere. So stop pulling this dark helmet over your head and creating more of that. Does that make sense? Yeah. So what's landing for you? As I say.

That? So I'm not creating chaos. I'm not wanting any drama, and I'm not even trying to manufacture any of it. In fact, I've swung to the other end of the pendulum.

Where. Got.

It. That's in paralyzation.

Very conscious. Aware. Paralyzation. Like, I'm very, very.

Aware. Okay, thank you. So it's funny, they just showed me both ends of the spectrum, too. So I was supposed to say that for some reason, that was like an older version of you. Now we're talking to this. Perfect, perfect. Okay. Like, there's a huge. It feels like a really big swing for you because I can feel that version. And then I can feel like we just kind of like went, whoo. And now we're over here. Okay, so this is why. Okay, we need you strong and clear, too, and.

Moving as you're guided to move, because you are. Okay, thank you. You are blocking some energy. So this analogy is coming up to share. And I always see this with leaders, too. People who are leading. You're like a pilot of a plane. You have people on your plane that you may or may not be aware of that are just like, in your field that are aware. They're responding to your energy, that are receiving your energy. And you are, like, leading. You're leading the plane. And when you're hooked into air traffic control and guidance, you know, that's a connection to spirit, to God, of your understanding, to connection to your own light.

The full surrender is the magic. Because.

We can't see everything that's going to happen, but we try to. This is an old soul thing. This is a leader thing. This is a light thing. Because Again, you're a soul having a human experience because you, on some soul level, remember what it was like when you weren't in a body. You remember what it was like. This is why I said that stuff in the beginning about being connected to your team. You kind of remember what it was like when you tap into your soul contracts, you tap into greater understanding. You remember? Oh, yeah, shit. I set up some stuff for myself. Cool. But you kind of. I see this so many times with leaders. You kind of have a disharmonious relationship with being in the body because you're kind of a little pissed that you still can't see it all, you know? Does that make sense? Like, there's a party that's like, well, shit, show me how it's all gonna work out. And see this a lot with world changers. They kind of like, get the guidance and they're like, you know, flying the plane with air traffic control, and they're like, okay, you want me to do this? Okay, cool. And then they fold their arms. They're like, show me how it's going to work out. And it's because a part of you remembers, though. A part of you remembers. I just have to say this last part, part of you remembers what it's like before you were in the body. So you know. You know that you're connected to this. But what. What's. What's happening is that there's. The guidance is coming. You're flying the plane, and you listen about 99% of the time. And then. And then there's like 1% where you're like, I gotta hold that back. I can't make that turn. Or I can't adjust the plane this way or that way. It's not necessarily like an F. You show me how it's gonna work out. Always energy with you. But it's a little bit of like. It's a little bit of like, am I.

Gonna. Well, it's almost like withholding. It's almost like withholding love. It's not the fu. It's like, well, I'm just gonna kind of like, justify why I'm sitting back. Because I'm protecting my energy.

Or. Right. I'm gonna be safe. I'm gonna be safe if I do this. Yeah, this is safer. This is safer. This is safer.

But.

Right. Yeah, go.

Ahead. What were you gonna say the other three times? Like, as I said, this is the fourth time. Like, where. Where I'm supposed to be going now. I feel like three years ago is when I saw Very clearly where I was going and what I was supposed to be doing, but it was foggy too. And like the other three times in my life where that's happened and I've surrendered to it and see very clearly how, like, what happens, but not how. And I was okay with not figuring out how, but I was coming from that place of desperation as well.

And I thought honestly, sitting in that recliner three years ago, that that was the desperation to lean into this. And clearly it wasn't. And so this is a next level of surrender that I've never experienced before without. Without the chaos, without the drama, with full trust, full surrender. It's easier to surrender well when you don't have shit to lose. Like, it's either. There's only one way and it's.

Up. Yeah. And there's. There's things that are trying to move through you, though. So, like, as we block even, only again, this is because you're so big, babe. But you are, because you're. You're 1% blocking. Doesn't. It may not look like it's that much for people you know, but for you, because you're so big, because your energy is so big and your light is so big and what you're here to do is shine, even that 1% feels really big because A, your own light is magnifying it, and B, that's how impactful your energy is in your light. And this is for all leaders who are totally tuned into leading with the light. And the highest, even you holding back 1% is magnified. It feels so freaking huge because a, integrity overhaul 2020, you're being asked to, like, you know, get really honest and. And B, that's how powerful your light is. And so this is for, like, everybody right now. If you're even holding back 1%, that's too much right now. It's too much for leaders and for what the planet needs and is requiring. And that's why you feel uncomfortable, because you're being nudged and urged to shift, to release, to let go of control, to let go of the drama, to let go of anything that could happen as a result. Because it is chaotic. We do need you out there. We need you steady and in full trust and surrender, which means, you know, it's not. It's not necessarily like trusting the unknown. It means trusting yourself, trusting your air traffic control, your guidance, your connection, and then trusting yourself to move as you're guided. Because there are people waiting for you one degree off from where you are right now. There's people waiting for you there that you're going to reach there. So it becomes about trusting everything or trusting yourself to handle everything that happens as a result of you trusting in the first place. So it becomes this trust circle. Does that make sense? It's like this is flow. This is what leaders call flow. You know, you're in that flow with it. It doesn't mean things are smooth always out in the turbulent world. You're flying a freaking plane. We're on a planet that is, that is so intense right now as, you know, chaotic as it is here on the planet. You're here to be that energetic emt, which means you're in a different energy that is, it's more harmonious now. It doesn't mean that you're a pushover. It doesn't mean that you're not fierce because sometimes you have to make fierce calls. Sometimes you're being guided to make the tough decisions. As a leader who's working with the light, that is for the highest and greatest good sometimes. So with, you know, I say that radical compassion gets a bad rap because sometimes people think that means, oh, okay, I'm just going to roll over. Okay, I'm just going to, you know, hold back and not say the thing and not do the thing. But when you're working in full alignment with radical compassion and with your harmonious light vibration, you are, you are sometimes, it's sometimes fierce. So you never know what's going to happen or what you're going to be got to do every single day. It's just a matter of trusting yourself to be able to handle it. No matter what happens and what you're, what's in front of you in.

Those.

Moments.

What'S happening for you as I say.

That.

All of it makes sense. And I already knew all of it, like at a soul level. I.

Did.

Yep. So when you're talking to somebody who is as aware as some, as somebody like me, which you know, that's who you work with, is those high level, highly aware, intuitive people. So then what do we do with it? So that I don't stay stuck? So I can. Because that 1% feels like a hundred pound fucking brick on my heart, on my chest, on my breathing, on my head.

Because I know. Because I do know.

So what do we.

Do? You.

Know?

Or what's the next. What's the next right thing at least? What's the next right thing thing at.

Least. Yeah, I was gonna say then the. You do this, you get really honest with the fact that you are doing it. You Know. And I haven't. We can look at some of the. Yeah, yeah. So you have been. And now. And we can look at the. Why. You know, we can look at some of the stuff that we went. We've unraveled here on this. On this with you. Like, we've unraveled a lot here, but, like, you've already been doing some of that work, you know? So then for you. For you, it just. So what I'm hearing to say is do the thing you're avoiding.

Do the thing you're avoiding. So there's. There's one. There's one or two things that come to mind. For anybody who's hearing this. There's one or two things that come to mind. The thing you're avoiding is the thing that you're being guided to do right now. And that's not just for you. That's for everybody. That's all the light on the planet right now. Do the thing you're avoiding is the. Is the. I keep hearing it. Do the thing you're avoiding. Okay. And then I'm going, okay, what am I avoiding? Now I'm in your channel, so I'm back in. But. But.

With love, we do the thing that we're avoiding. Then if you're 99% in trust and flow, do the thing you're avoiding. But it's in the doing, is what they're saying. Thank you. It's in the doing. For you. It's in the doing. There's little smidges of things that you can do throughout the day, too. For you. Okay, thanks. They're showing it to me like, you have a choice point. I love you. You have a very particular choice point, don't you? What do you mean by that?

It's almost like that moment where it's a choice point for you, where it's like, I'm gonna give you.

And then you pull back and, like, what they're saying is there's a choice point for you. It's like that moment where the f you, like, little finger kicks in just a smidge. God, it's so subtle for you, but it's big. You give thanks for going here for this and holding. You know, you're holding massive space. I'm working with this, with your whole audience here. But there is a choice point for you. With love. You're like. You're so open to a fault, to a point where you're like, not a fault, to a point where then you pull back and right there they're narrowing and on Your team is going, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's the choice point for you. So in that moment where you make the choice to do that, you have to move a little bit forward. That's your work.

They just said breathe. They're showing me air. They're saying the word air. Breathe and. And move into it for you. That's a specific tool for you there. It's like. And move in. This is why. This is linking it all the way back full circle. This is why breath came in for you, why your breath is key. Because your breath. Thank you. Your breath is connecting you to the present moment. And so for you, if you ever pull back, this is big for you. If you ever pull back, you have left the present moment. You have left the present moment, and that's what you do. You're present 99% of the time with people. You're present 99% of the time. And then there's a choice point where you go, oh, shit, I've been present too long. I've been present 99%. I gotta. I gotta pull back. And then you do. So they're saying in that moment for you, it's very intense for you, but it's also, like, subtle to others, but you know when you're doing it so with love, that is the moment. You've left the present moment, which is also huge for leaders right now to remember too literally. What I do is coach people back to the present moment. I help them identify where in their energy they've left the present moment and why. And I coach them back to presence because we need to flying the plane fully present, okay? Which means for you, it's not for you, it's not trying to figure out what's going to happen six miles ahead, okay? Because that's what you do because you're so brilliant. This is also your gift. Your gift is up against your greatest wound. Knocking crystals over. Your gift is up against your greatest wound. Your gift, actually, you do have gifts. You can see shit. You can see what's going on. You can see what's going to happen. That's your. That's one of your gifts is clairvoyant.

But with love, it's still up a tiny. It's one degree. Literally, they keep saying one degree, it's one degree off. So it kind of is just a tiny bit caught by the old stuff, which is, you know, frustration that you can't see how it's all going to play out. But you kind of know, but you kind of don't but you're not accounting for free will. So love. With love. Every other human has free will too. So your guides and team and your teachers and your healers and all the people holding the space, every time we go, show me how it's going to work out, they go, we can't. With love, dear human, we cannot, because we are manning. They've shown it to me like this a million times on this wall here in my office. They showed me like a. Like one of those beautiful maps of the world that shows you every single plane that's in the air at the same time. Have you ever seen those by NASA? Yeah, they show it to me literally like that. And they're like, listen, we can't show you how it's gonna work out because we don't know. We're manning 16 different possibilities over here. And it could. This person. And we're nudging, and this person's team is working on them with their intuition and that person. But again, everybody has free will, so people may or may not step into it. Okay, so, like, your team is like going, here's current conditions, but we're man in the fort over here. And that and that. So, dear human, we don't know all the ways it's going to work out. They hold the big picture. Our job, we need them because they hold the big picture. But our job is just to take action because we are the actual hands on the ground. We are the ones who are literally bringing this energy to the ground. And how do we do that? We do that through our actions. We do that through getting really present and doing the thing we're guided to do right now. Which is why I do all this work. I do a lot of work with leaders on intuition. Because your intuition is always going to guide you in the present moment. It's when you leave the present moment, you try to run into what I call the future rooms or the back rooms of the house. You either relive something from the past or you go to the future and you're like, oh, one of 17 things is going to work out up here. It's going to be.

This.

This. You're not present anymore. You're not in the living room taking the intuitive ping, you know, and having. Having a beautiful tea with it and, you know, answering the door in the present moment and being there with the intuitive ping. Now have your feels about the intuitive ping. You know, intuitive ping. Could be. Hey, write a book, okay? Write a book. How do I feel about that right now? Not. Oh, shit, what's gonna happen? Work it all.

Out?

No. How do I feel about that right now? Okay. Kind of scary. Okay. But what am I being guided to do right now? I'm being guided to write the book. Okay, great. So then you lovingly coach yourself back to the present moment and you go, how do I sit back in the present moment and write this book? Okay, great for you. That's gonna be your work. There's a little part of you that likes to, like, tether and run off a smidge from the present moment. And it's gonna be like, come here. Sit present. Okay, let's be present. Because you're so freaking powerful that your presence. Thank you. Your presence and your full attention on shit is like. It's like the Midas touch. It, like, blows shit up. And then that also triggers the old control stuff. There's a lot of things here. There's a lot of layers. And so for you, like, but with love, it's not bad. It's just like, here's how your. Your brilliant mind works. This is how you work and you're. And this is your gift. At the same time, we're just pulling out that little. One tiny little thread that's like a little bug in the system where I'm like, well, hold on. That guy's causing chaos. Give me. Come here. I'm like, we're pulling that out. So that analogy just came there at the end. But I.

Trust. That is so good, you guys. Holy. Holy shit. You all need Natalie Emka in your life. You nailed it with that. Being present in the moment is where all the good shit does happen and the intuition. And, like, I have some powerful intuition.

And there are times I'm like, whoa. Like, somebody said to me, it's like I could hear your exhale say, oh, shit. Like, when that kind of dropped in, I'm like, yeah, especially this last. Like, this last 12 months, I have felt the oh, shit exhale in my intuition, and I love that tool. Like, how do I feel about that right now? What do I have to do to stay in the present with it? That is going to help me more than you even know. So, my God, is there anything else we need to clear up from your sources before we check out for the day?

Because I don't want to leave any of the spirits and guides.

Hanging. I know. Let me just tune.

In. And I know that everybody listening is like, we could go on for hours with.

This. But yeah, yeah. The biggest thing. Okay. They want me to share this really quick, too energetic. Emt. Analogy is huge right now, and it's important for presence and it's important to remember, too, and not be distracted by the chaos of the planet right now. Because we. This planet's in chaos. Because this planet's in chaos. Kind of how it works here. With Love, things are coming up. The light is bringing up everybody's stuff as an energetic EMT on the planet. Think about an EMT on a crash site. What do they do? They are in preparation. They go through a lot of training. They arrive on the crash scene, crash site, AKA Earth. They arrive here and they get out of the little ambulance and they look around and they go, okay, where am I needing most now? A lot of leaders are here on the planet, and they're in there kind of zooming up and out a little bit more, kind of leaving their body or coming out of the present moment and going, how did this happen? Okay, that happened. And because that person ran into that person and that person crashed into there, and if. Oh, my God, if people would just stop running into each other, then this wouldn't happen. Yes, we know. And this is also. We're on a planet where car crashes happen, okay? So lovingly, come back down in the present moment. Get your booty on the. On the ground here. You're on the crash site. Let's look around. Like, Love, you know, this is where cleansing, clearing your energy is really important. You know, coming in the present moment, looking through the eyes of assessment and compassion rather than judgment. Because you're not going, oh, my God, this person is, you know, bad because they ran into this person. And this person's bad because they didn't see this coming. No, you're going, where am I needed as an emt? Okay, Thinking in the eyes of an emt, you're going, oh, there, there. I can make the most impact. You're assessing. Right here's where I'm needed. Or I feel called to go. Okay? They work on intuition as well. EMT is on a crash site. So with Love, being present in the moment is so important right now. This is why I always say cleanse and clear your energy too. Because as leaders who are sensitive, which all of us are so sensitive, it's very easy to jump up and out of the situation and look at it differently and go, okay, I can't breathe. The breathing is coming up again. And b, like, oh, my gosh, I feel everyone's pain. Yes, you do. And you're still here to help. Okay? You feel everyone's pain because you're here to Help shift it. Okay, you're here. You're here to use that information and go, ooh, that person. Person's probably. I can help here with my gifts. But again, you assess this from the present moment. What's crazy about all.

This? I don't know. You probably didn't know this about me, but I went to college to be a firefighter. Paramedic.

Because. No.

Idea. Originally, I wanted to be a trauma surgeon, but I didn't want to be inside or in school that long. So I decided I would rather be outside and be on the scene. The initial scene. Not like the very initial scene, because I actually.

You know what? And it's so funny that you said that, because even with the chaos that the world is in, I'm. I am sensitive, and I do feel it all. But I have such healthy boundaries with taking on that energy. The only energy that's getting in my fucking way is my own, not the world's, because that actually, I can. I am very good at triage that as that person, and it's my own energy at this point that's blocking all of my ability to really be that person that I'm supposed to be in it.

So.

Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. And there's a party that's like, yeah, there's a party that's like, oh, I've been here for so long already. Like, what's going on? Are we there yet? A lot of leaders are like this right now. Aren't we there yet? I can't believe we're all still dealing with this. Yeah, I know. And with love, I sometimes think the same thing. We got to come back into the present moment and go, we're here right now. What's going on right now? Yep. Yeah, we went on a little bit of an advanced track, but we're here right now. We're here right.

Now. My God, girl, you are such a light and gift to this world. And I know that you were very much called to create a space for free for people that obviously you deep dive with people one on one. You do, you know, transformational coaching for businesses, organizations, and the world the way it is. It's not like you're flying into places right now and doing that, but you also have a free Facebook group that you were called to do called World Changer.

Coaching.

Right. With Natalie Amka. Where can they find that? Is that on.

Facebook? Mm. It is on Facebook. There's a little. Little entry process. If you enter your email in there, you will get a free World Changer toolkit from me. Which has got a couple audios and a PDF, kind of like a little bit of a reminder, like, hey, here's what's going on. If you're at all guided to, you know, this work or what we're doing, you are what I call a world changer, which means you're here to bring just a different vibration to the planet. Right now. You're an energetic EMT here to help. You're here to do something a little different. So I've created a home. The doors are open now. Literally just last week, as we're talking right now, it's the very end of July, just opened that, and we've got, you know, it's being created for people all over the globe to just come connect, see each other, get some free coaching from me. I'll be doing downloads in there. I do all kinds of updates for what's going on on the collective, the World Changer Collective. And that's a place where you can feel the energy of what the heck. Reminders of what the heck we're.

Doing. You are out of this world. You guys can also find her on Instagram @Nataliemka E H M K A. She also has a podcast, the World Changer Podcast. You'll want to check that out. And my friend, my goodness, my goodness, I can't thank you enough for not only just pouring so much into me just now, but I know, like without question that that was for many, many, many, many, many, many thousands of people that just got so much out of what you just did with me. So thank you. I appreciate you so.

Much.

Thank you. Thank.

You. All right, you guys, go find her. Find her now. You all need a little bit of her in your life. I love you, my friend. Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram @traceyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand on the front line of your life and do the work. Let's become bulletproof.