78: Integrating the Enneagram to move the needle in your business and life

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Welcome to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. I am your host, Tracy o'. Malley. I'm a mom to millennials, an author, Enneagram expert and multi million dollar entrepreneur, and master performance and business coach. I've gone from rock bottom to building a bulletproof business and life. If you're looking for the unfiltered transparent truth and ethos, an extra kick in the ass, you will discover that here. Each week I'll be bringing you success stories of high level entrepreneurs as we discover how they became bulletproof and created their empire. You'll learn the story behind the glory along with Enneagram inspired truths so you can ignite your own purpose, profits and build your legacy. It's time for you to become bulletproof. Buckle up.

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Hey hey. And welcome to another episode of the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. We are talking about integration of the Enneagram because I know a lot of you that listen to this podcast. You are Enneagram fans, Enneagram junkies, maybe an Enneagram newbie, I don't know. But because it has become so popular, there is so much information out there. And you have heard me over and over and over again say in anything, information doesn't equal transformation. And I love the information that's out there about the Enneagram. So much of it is valuable and beautiful and the graphics and the memes and all of the things amazing. And the Enneagram, as you've heard me say, is an amazing tool. It's the greatest personal development tool I have ever used. And I've been at this for 20 years, y'. All. And I have done all sorts of personal development and it is hands down the most effective, easy tool that I have used. And I'm pretty complex, y'. All, and I'm a hot mess a lot of the time. And the Enneagram helps helps me keep it on track.

But it wasn't because of the information. It is the integration of the information. And I know there are some of you out there that maybe know your Enneagram type or you know your Enneagram type, but you don't know what to do with it. Or you, you've got an Enneagram type and you're actually using some of the tools of the Enneagram, but you're not seeing what you want out of it. Chances are you probably mistyped, first and foremost. And second of all, there aren't any. There isn't anybody out there really teaching the integration part right. I love the fact that there are information Teachers, I am not that person. I do have the information, but I have always been a bottom line me kind of girl. Must be the Enneagram 8 in me. And I've always taken in information, whether it was in school, my career, corporate America, any of the businesses I've done masterminds. I'm all about the. But I'm always the first person to raise my hand and say, okay, I get it, I get that information, but tell me why this is important and tell me what to do with it to move the needle. And that is where I come in. This is my zone of genius. And honestly, I have not found people out there doing this with you in the trenches, actually showing you how to integrate it and actually show you how they've used it in all areas of their life like I have. So if that is you, I encourage you. I don't know how much longer I'm going to do individual typing sessions or one on one because I'm getting pretty crowded here and I love it.

I'm going to probably have to start doing groups and all of that. But if you right now want to effectively use the Enneagram and you think maybe you were mistyped or you like your time but you're not getting the results out of it, go to traceyomally.com the work with me section. This is what I do all day long and I love it. I absolutely love it. I love watching the light bulbs go off for people and all of a sudden all this self doubt and beating themselves up, all of a sudden that goes away. Not overnight, but they can see that this doesn't have to be so emotionally charged. It really, really doesn' makes unpacking some of this shit we've all been through a lot easier. And when we know better, we can do better first and foremost. And when we can look through the lens of compassion and love rather than, you know, self loathing or self sabotage or whatever else we freaking do. Because I've done it all too and got me nowhere for 40 years. So even though I've been at this for 20 years, it's been almost the last 10 that like I'm like, all right, I'm going to quit going back and forth with this. But if that's you and you're really ready to make a shift and use this in all areas of your life, you know, I get a lot of people come to me for business because this is a great leadership tool as well. This is how you leverage and bring out the best in everyone. And a lot of People will come to me for that which I love. I'm all about leadership. But leadership starts with you, always. If you cannot lead yourself, you can't leave, you can't lead properly, your family, you can't properly lead business associates, you can't properly lead anyone. It must start with you. And so this is what I want to do with you.

Go to Tracy O' Malley.com, go to the work with me section. Let me start helping you unpack some of this and you will see the ripple effect, the compound effect in all you areas of your life. When people have come to me for business, they can't believe a yes. Their business does transform. And it becomes a lot more easy. Believe it or not, but things at home start to shift too. The way their kids interact with them, the way their partners interact with them, the way that their health changes and they start doing things for the right reasons and everything starts to flow. Now does that mean we don't get off track? Hell no. But with the tool of the Enneagram and knowing how to integrate it, you can course correct pretty damn quick.

So what does integration mean? That means actually using the freaking tools. I am one of those that loves Home Depot. I love, love, love Home Depot. And I have a lot of the, like the tool wall where all the like electronic tools and the drills and the, and all that shit I love. But if I don't know how to use any of that, they're just very expensive pretty tools sitting in my very pretty garage. And that's pointless. And sometimes I see the Enneagram as that it's a toolbox that you don't know how to use. And I don't want you to just leave these tools sitting there because they're so freaking incredible. They're incredible. And so a lot of times also I'll get people that come to me and wanting me to start typing other people without them knowing whether it's their business associates, their family members. And again, I'm going to remind you, the best way to lead is to lead yourself first. And that means understanding first of all that if you've tried to type yourself or just take in an online test, 65 to 70% of the time it's inaccurate. Not because it's the wrong test or there's one that's better than the other. They're all pretty great. I like the more extensive ones, obviously, but the results are only going to be as effective as you are answering them. And that means based on motivation and not behaviors. That means.

You'Re not answering in a way that you think you're going to be because you've done a lot of personal development or where you're headed or, you know, maybe in one area of your life or maybe you've experienced like I did, so much trauma, so much, and you don't even know what the real you is. And that was me for a lot of the time. And I know how confusing it can be when you look in the mirror and you're like, I don't even know. I don't even know. And that's why having a guide really helping you get back to who you were always designed to be, who you were, who you always have been until life kind of got a hold of you, until you started using compensatory strategies to deal with life. I've been there. I get it. And when we can get you back on track to who you are always meant to be and understanding who you are, really, everything starts to shift. And I love showing you how to integrate this in real time in your life. And then watching the magic happen and the confidence that gets built and the way that you start to carry yourself and, you know, the relationships that thrive and the people you start to attract into your life and the money that starts to flow, really, really cool shit. But if you're only just getting the information.

That won't ever equal transformation. And, you know, one of the things that I've always said when I'm coaching people, not just enneagram, but in general, because I've been at this coaching thing for a long, long time. And, you know, especially when they come to me for business and they want to be a more effective coach and I start kind of unlocking the different compartments of their life. You know, their. The way they manage their finances, their health, their relationships, their friendships, the way they parent, the way they show up in their business. And you have to be in integrity in all areas of your life, honestly to be the most effective leader. And that is no bullshit. And I've had to call bullshit on myself sometimes, especially around my health, you know, because I wouldn't keep promises to myself. I wouldn't honor the commitments that I had for myself because was I worthy? If I didn't help other people, what would they think of me? If I didn't pour into them, what would my kids think if, you know, xyz? But you can't compartmentalize integrity. All you cannot. You're either in integrity or out of it. And it wasn't until I stepped into integrity in all areas of my life that I know without question. I will go toe to toe with any coach out there. And that was not easy for me to say I had imposter syndrome. I was like, damn, do I really know what the fuck I'm talking? I have those days. Until I committed to honoring my own promises, honoring my own commitments to myself, and really stepping into integrity in all areas of my life. Because you can't compartmentalize that. You can compartmentalize areas of your life, but you can't compartmentalize integrity. And when you become skilled in integrating the Enneagram in your life and in your business and in your relationships, it's easy to get back into integrity, right? Because we all manage stress in a way. And each Enneagram type deals with stress in a different way. We go to different numbers, we have wings, we have subtypes. We have all sorts of stuff that help us kind of deal with stress in life. But knowing the information and knowing how to integrate into a pattern of growth will keep you in integrity. And there's nothing better, honestly, than laying your head down on the pillow every single night. And know. You know what? I challenge anyone. I challenge anyone to come and tell me I'm out of integrity. Because you may not like me. You certainly may not like me. You may think I'm a little too much. I might be too intense for you. I may curse too much. I. Who the fuck knows? I may. I may take too many selfies for your liking, but I challenge you to ever say I'm out of integrity. And that, my friends, is freedom. And that really allows me to step into situations that scare me. Not always very easily. Sometimes I go kicking and screaming, but knowing that, hey, I've got this tool that I know how to integrate. And I know the patterns of when Tracy is under some stress and freaking out a little bit. And it doesn't have to be so emotionally charging, and it doesn't have to derail all the good I've done. It doesn't have to lead me.

Down a trail of self sabotage, which then leads to shame and guilt and all these other horrible behaviors that I used to do. It doesn't have to do that because I know how to integrate the Enneagram. And if you are needing help with your team, your organization, yourself, first and foremost, please reach out to me. Learning how to use this tool is. Has really kept me on track the last decade. When I think about my family, you know, my kids were the main reason I started really wanting to understand and then integrate The Enneagram, because I could feel the disconnect. And my kids were teenagers at the time, and I'm a single parent and have been for 13 years. And I could feel that disconnect.

And so learning how to integrate this into my family pretty much turned things over overnight. It really, really did. I could not believe how just shifting communication a little bit and understanding the effect that me as gram 8 had on the people in my home and having compassion and love for myself. Because when we know better, we do better. And then when you are able to have compassion and love for yourself, you can freely give it to other people, not faking it. Because if you're not giving yourself compassion and love, you're just faking it with other people. You can't give what you don't have. So I used it in my family and it changed everything. With teenagers, if you have teenagers, you know how hard that can be. I used it in my personal health, right? I know the patterns I go to when I'm under stress, especially with my nutrition and exercising and understanding that I could recognize it and course correct myself and not build a big frickin story about it, but just pivot, right? It's just me under stress. There's. There's no other story I need to build around it. I'm just under stress. What can I do to manage this and to get back on the road to growth, Right? I've used it in my friendships. Oh my God, has this changed everything? Not so much about my friends, because my friends are pretty badass and they have been. But how I'm able to show up in vulnerability in my relationships. And what that did was create a level of intimacy that I never experienced in my life. I always felt like I had good friends, but I never really felt connected. And it wasn't their fault. It really wasn't. But I didn't ever know what intimacy was, true intimacy with another human being. But when I used the. When I integrated the Enneagram into my friendships, everything changed. I'm able to show up in my rawness in real time, not after I figured it out and say I need help. And it feels. It felt really weird at first because I hadn't done it in 40 years. But today, integrating the Enneagram into my friendships changed everything. And it's seriously, probably the biggest gift I never saw coming was the power of friendships. The way that I show up in them today and the way that I was so beautifully received by them. Like, gosh, I wish I had known this sooner. It has completely transformed how I show up as a leader. As an enneagram8, I'm kind of naturally a take charge kind of person, and I could get people to do shit, whether it was in my home or in business. But it wasn't always for the right reason, and it was usually charged with an intimidation factor. And that's not real leadership, right? That's fear. But integrating the Enneagram and how I operate in all my businesses has allowed me to not only be an effective leader and have the abundance of wealth and all of that, but I'm able to see here and understand every person I come in contact with. And when you are able to do that, you bring out the best in everyone. That is leadership. They don't have to be like you or talk like you, but if you know how to talk to them, anything is possible. And then in the matters of the heart, you know, I've talked about this before. I have been single for seven years, not dated at all, and have decided to kind of explore what that looks like.

And that integrating the Enneagram and how I navigate that situation has been the most powerful of all because it was probably the muscle I'd use the least with the integration of the Enneagram. But it's amazing when I could recognize how in the past I have navigated certain situations and instead of beating myself up about some of the decisions and choices I made, I have love and compassion for myself because clearly I was just under stress and didn't know how to use my tools. But integrating the Enneagram in all aspects of my life makes things a lot easier. And I want to help you do the same. Please continue to follow me on Instagram at tracyomalley where I drop lots of integration of the Enneagram kind of nuggets. I'm not the best about making graphics. I never will be. It's not my zone of genius. But this is the zone of genius with the Enneagram that nobody else is doing. And so you can get your information, but what to do with it, that's where I'm your girl. If you want to dive deeper into this one on one with me, go to tracyomalley.com the work with me section and we can do just that. Until next time, here's to becoming bulletproof.

Thank you for tuning in to the Becoming Bulletproof podcast. If you learned a thing or two from our show today, it would mean a lot to me if you shared it and tagged me so I can hear exactly what landed on your heart. This will help me to bring you even more episodes with the topics and guests you want. Please head over to itunes and leave an honest and loving five star review. If this made an impact on you, you can find me on Instagram tracyomalley and I have tons of free resources for you@traceyomalley.com as always, if you are wanting to ignite your purpose, profits and build your legacy, it's time to stand.

On the front line of your life.

And do the work.

Let's become bulletproof.